I Called Out My Husband's "Work Wife's" DISRESPECTFUL Behaviour r/Relationships

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[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I Called Out My Husband After He Came Home Wearing A Shirt His Work Wife Bought Him

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_01]: And get this name.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_01]: It's from Satan's Butt Plug 34.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_01]: The Story Starts

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I, female 30s, have been with my husband male 30s for 5 years.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Recently in the last year he has started a new job position,

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_01]: where his role is shared with his co-worker Chelsea, female 20s.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I've noticed that his co-worker Chelsea has increasingly pushed my limits of comfortability,

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_01]: and I frankly just don't trust her.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_01]: I've known Chelsea and her family for years prior to my marriage,

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_01]: and I wasn't keen on her then either.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_01]: She does and says strange things that I don't believe are malicious,

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_01]: but it's almost like she wants to be a second wife to him.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel insecure about her, but I feel creeped out.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_01]: She shared with me that she sees my husband as like her brother,

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_01]: which irks me because she has an awesome brother,

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm friends with her brother.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: She often calls, texts and facetimes about her work-related and unrelated topics,

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_01]: and I've heard someone refer to her as his work-wife.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Unfortunately my mother-in-law passed last month,

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's been utter hell.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_01]: In the midst of grief Chelsea texts asking how my husband was doing

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and how she cries every day thinking about him,

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_01]: and had told me that she knows exactly what I'm going through.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_01]: No, she doesn't, and that she can't wait to give my husband a huge hug.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Fast forward a little bit and she was drunk at a party and saw my husband leaving,

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_01]: but she confronted him on why he was leaving.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_01]: He told her,

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't think I had to tell you what I'm doing,

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_01]: resulting in her panic texting him after to make sure we were okay

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and trying to get him to talk to her by saying,

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01]: you can open up and talk to me or vent or just tell me to shut the fuck up.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Strange to me, there's been more instances but I know I have a limit.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, his birthday was last week and she called him asking him his shirt size

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_01]: and she made it a point to let him know she'll never forget his birthday.

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Like why are you so creepy sometimes girlfriend?

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Yesterday I'm cleaning the kitchen when he walks in

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and I notice it's an unfamiliar shirt.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I asked if it was new and he said Chelsea got it for me

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_01]: and my blood boiled.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Instant rage and I went quiet.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_01]: He asked if I cared and I remained silent and walked away.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm usually a huge communicator but his mum just passed

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_01]: and he asked for no drama and I'm trying my hardest to respect that.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_01]: But I know I have zero patience

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_01]: and want to tell him it's effing weird how involved a co-worker is trying to become his life

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_01]: and she needs to back down and focus on her own engagement.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone I talk to says I'm not in the wrong and she's being creepy

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_01]: but I feel bad for ignoring my husband and walking away from him.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I sorry looked upset and confused

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_01]: but I know he's already overwhelmed with grief

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_01]: and don't want to make things worse.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: So am I the arsehole?

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_01]: I never understand this whole work wife or work husband

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_01]: it gives me the air a bit.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just thinking about a partner coming home to you

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_01]: and saying about their work wife or their work partner, whatever.

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And I think you're valid in your feelings here

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_01]: she's overstepping huge boundaries

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_01]: and it just needs to be called out now.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise resentment is going to build

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_01]: and who knows what will happen as well.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_01]: But I think all you can be is up front here and tell him

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_01]: this is what you're seeing and there needs to be boundaries in place to stop this.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_01]: But the first commenter says talk to your husband immediately

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_01]: and say this isn't drama, this is threatening our relationship.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_01]: You need to set boundaries with this co-worker

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_01]: and you need to do it now.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_01]: No more calling her your work wife

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: no more of this weird clingy friendship.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: You become co-workers and you draw lines.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_01]: This is too much and that shirt is the last straw.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Stop it now.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_01]: You might not see it but she's either inappropriate by nature

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_01]: or she's trying to start an affair.

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Playful Lily says no you're not the arsehole.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Chelsea's behavior is crossing boundaries

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's understandable that you're upset.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_01]: However ignoring your husband might not be the best approach in the long run.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Try to communicate your concerns calmly

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_01]: when you both have the emotional bandwidth to address it.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Winterobject says not the arsehole.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know your communication

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_01]: but I would just sit him down and ask bluntly

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_01]: if he's interested in having an affair with Chelsea

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_01]: because she's trying hard to get with him.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_01]: If he's trying to downplay the situation

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: ask him if he would be okay with you flirting and texting

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_01]: with one of your male acquaintances.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_01]: In the long run he has to cut this woman out of his life.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_01]: She seems to doesn't know how to have a platonic friendship with him.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Patently says you're not crazy and definitely not the arsehole.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_01]: As a guy I have zero need for attention from other females.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I have good working relationship with females

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I work with and we are friendly

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_01]: but I never call them for personal discussions

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: or text them for anything other than business.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Rarely I've made casual comments

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_01]: if I know something is going on to be supportive.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_01]: This is how emotional affairs happen

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: which leads to full blown affairs.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Set the boundaries now

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: you should be his priority

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Best of luck.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Next commenter says

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and quotes the part where it says

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_01]: this is how emotional affairs happen

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_01]: which leads to full blown affairs

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and says lots of affairs start

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_01]: when one of the two is emotionally vulnerable

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: like just lost a parent.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_01]: The other party exploits their temporary weakness

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_01]: to get them to do something they wouldn't normally do

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_01]: all the while looking like the good friend

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: who only cares about them

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01]: and wants to give them hugs in their time of need

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_01]: like what the actual fuck

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_01]: who gives their married co-worker hugs

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_01]: when they are grieving over a dead parent.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_01]: It sounds like this girl is just someone

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_01]: with exceptionally poor boundaries in general

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_01]: and a fixation of the OP's husband in particular.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_01]: People with poor boundaries are the only ones

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_01]: who cheat by the way.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah and she was sending the wife

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_01]: messages after saying that she cries for him every day

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01]: who does that?

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_01]: But OP comes in with their update and says

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_01]: ok we have news just to clarify some things first

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_01]: for some additional background

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_01]: one, I've known Chelsea and her family

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_01]: prior to my marriage through some mutual connections

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and her family being very very close

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_01]: with my ex and his family

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and some hesitancy

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I became close friends with her brother

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_01]: and he became part of my group of friends etc etc

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_01]: she did not meet my husband until they both started working

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_01]: for the same company

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_01]: so I was not very close with Chelsea

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_01]: but we always saw and interacted cordially

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_01]: two, I did not know Chelsea his shirt size

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_01]: she called my husband and asked him his shirt size

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_01]: where he told her

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I would have never told her his size

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_01]: and would have made some jokes saying

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_01]: that he has enough shirts than to not bother buying him anymore

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_01]: three, I wish I had this in earlier

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_01]: but my husband and I had conversations

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_01]: about my feelings regarding Chelsea

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_01]: and her behaviors

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I tried everything from being sweet, aloof, concerned

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_01]: and outright angry

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_01]: each time I've met with some variation of

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_01]: he understands but Chelsea is neurotic

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_01]: he never dismisses my feelings outright

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_01]: but he attempts to be sensitive to a mental state

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and says that he has no issues stepping in

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_01]: or if and when necessary

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: however I found it necessary

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's clear he isn't trying to have

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_01]: the confrontation up front until the shirt event

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_01]: four, my husband requesting no drama

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_01]: stems from a series of events that occurred within his family

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_01]: and work life that drained his emotional battery

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: leading him to just ask for smooth sailing

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_01]: and finding his new normal

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I do have a history of struggling to manage my anger during arguments

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_01]: but I've taken the steps

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_01]: and done what is necessary to address my anger

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_01]: to make sure my marriage does not suffer

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_01]: and we have been amazing

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I did want to be mindful that

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_01]: what he endured with family and other aspects of his life

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_01]: has impacted his mood

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01]: which led him to openly ask the universe for some peace

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and no drama

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: which made me internalize his message

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_01]: also we're scheduled to have our first marriage counselling session

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_01]: this upcoming week

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_01]: just to really make sure we iron out any issues

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to make sure when I had my update

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I had some juice and evidence of change to give your

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_01]: as for the talk it went amazing

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I sat down with my husband and just told him that

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_01]: there were some things that I wanted to bring to his attention

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_01]: and included a variation of what was in the comments

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01]: along with my own words

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_01]: to really drive home the fact that I'm beyond over my limit

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01]: and wanted him to have it on his radar

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_01]: my husband was very attentive and validating

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_01]: we talked for a while and although there were moments

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_01]: where we both didn't seem to understand one another

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_01]: we tried to use some fair fighting rules

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01]: of getting from my therapist

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and that really seemed to help

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_01]: it gave me his point of view when we talked about

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_01]: am I walking away made him feel awful

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_01]: and how upset that he knew I would be mad seeing him wearing the shirt

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I made sure to accept my role in the situation

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and he was able to do the same

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_01]: turns out that my husband has already had a chat with Chelsea

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_01]: and put her in a place post my reaction

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_01]: leading to Chelsea then to have a three day temper tantrum

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: and constantly seeking reassurance and validation from my husband

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_01]: in the form of texts and in person harassment

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_01]: my husband finally had enough and told her that if she didn't

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_01]: knock it off that he would pursue this through his chain of command

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_01]: and HR that seemed to stop her in a tracks

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_01]: shorter then she started to tell him that she was having

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_01]: troubles at home and my husband responded with

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_01]: sorry to hear that good luck with everything

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_01]: she did not like this he has since then put up

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_01]: some serious boundaries and we both came up with some ideas

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_01]: that we're both comfortable with and won't stress out his work environment

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_01]: more I can't thank this community enough

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_01]: for helping me get my ass in gear

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_01]: all comments the loving and supportive

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_01]: ugly and blunt and the indifferent

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I thank you for taking the time to share your input

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_01]: this could have possibly saved my marriage

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm super happy to see that things seem to be

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_01]: on the right path however

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I gotta say I still have concerns about Chelsea in this situation

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_01]: it sounds like she's not someone that's going to let up easily

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_01]: the fact that she had this three day temper tantrum

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_01]: and trying to seek reassurance and validation

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_01]: and then husband told her to knock it off

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_01]: but then she still came up with troubles at home

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_01]: there seemed to be something else going on to try and get him involved

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_01]: with her in some other way and he told her he's gonna pursue

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_01]: HR if she didn't knock it off

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know I kind of feel like I'm not sure if it

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_01]: makes any difference and it's something that might be a bit sketchy in itself

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of feel like maybe letting the chain of command know

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_01]: and HR as well just maybe not to do any action

[00:11:51] [SPEAKER_01]: but give them a warning of what's been going on

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_01]: in case the story gets twisted on you

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_01]: she goes completely the opposite way

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen it one too many times in these stories before

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_01]: so maybe that's just what's in my head at the moment

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_01]: but what do you guys make of this situation

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_01]: let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_01]: and let's move on to another story

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Now our next story comes from the true of my chest

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_01]: subreddit does have a couple of updates with it from one him back

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Rowe, who says now I have won my husband back

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm leaving him

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I've secured an apartment for my baby and me

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I put everything in order and prepared for custody

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_01]: shared or otherwise

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I divided the money and transferred my share to a third account

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and it will stay there until the divorce proceedings

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_01]: and the dividing of the assets

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I found out that my husband was having an affair while I was postpartum

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I thought that I would die because I love him

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and it felt like my heart was broken into a million pieces

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I knew that I was over but my curiosity got the best of me

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to know why

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_01]: what was it she had that I didn't

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_01]: did he love her?

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I started reading his texts and everything was there

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_01]: he felt like he was alive again

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_01]: he was happy and excited

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_01]: she's single and childless so she had all the time in the world

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_01]: to make him her priority

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: he felt seen and desired by her

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I was confused because even with the life coming between us

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_01]: it was always my love and I made sure he knew that every day

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_01]: still, it wasn't enough

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I read thousands upon thousands of messages between them

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and I started being everything he fantasized about

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_01]: in the beginning it felt weird and he was confused but I just went on

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_01]: every time you made plans with her I found a way to make him stay

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_01]: where I made sure that I sent him exhausted to her

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_01]: the messages became less and less frequent

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and the passion and excitement subsided

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_01]: soon answering her became more of a chore

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_01]: the complaining started and him pulling away

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_01]: he was happier at home and he couldn't wait to come home

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_01]: he started texting me again during the day

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_01]: the sweetest text of how he missed me

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_01]: he was his old self back

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_01]: one day what I hoped and waited patiently for happened

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_01]: he ended things with her

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_01]: he told her that he loved me and that now everything was great again

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_01]: her services weren't needed in other words

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I felt relief and finally I could move on

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_01]: now I'm preparing for my divorce

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_01]: you will get the papers the day I leave my new life

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_01]: in my new apartment

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I know I get a lot of hate for this because I've neglected my husband

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and pushed him to seek solace in another woman's arms

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_01]: where I apparently could have given what he sought all along

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_01]: and believe me I will bear the guilt for the rest of my life

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_01]: in my defense I didn't do it intentionally

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_01]: our lives had just been ultra drastically

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was trying to navigate this new and exciting existence

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I was immersed in this new kind of happiness

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_01]: that I thought I was sharing with him

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was trying to get to know my new body

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_01]: but I couldn't recognize anymore

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_01]: a real scary feeling

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_01]: but he could have come to me with his hurt

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_01]: he could have talked to me about his suffering

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_01]: he could have tried to make me understand

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_01]: but he chose not to

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_01]: he decided to deceive me

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_01]: deceive us

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_01]: he ruined our love and our future

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_01]: and even our history

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_01]: nothing was or will be the same again

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_01]: so it's Scrib says on this one

[00:15:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I just hope you took tons of screenshots of those texts

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_01]: this isn't petty revenge but nuclear revenge

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_01]: and I for one, ain't mad at you

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_01]: revenge is best served cold and this is ice cold

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_01]: all the best to you and your little one in your new life

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_01]: looking forward to the update

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_01]: rabbit from Brazil says

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_01]: cheating on your postpartum wife is so dirty

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_01]: that I can't even describe it

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_01]: it's rubbish, someone despicable

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_01]: incapable of much worse things than cheating

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_01]: significant cat says, I'm commenting kind of early on

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_01]: but I love how people so far are basically like

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_01]: not gonna lie, I love this for you

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_01]: which same here, lol

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_01]: no seriousness, it's hard to leave a partner with a new baby

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_01]: and I know that prepping for and starting a divorce

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_01]: isn't exactly easy

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad that you used that time wisely

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_01]: you had no problem pretending everything was all good

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: when he was cheating

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_01]: why would you not return the favor

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_01]: he set the standard here

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: OP gave a little update post that said

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_01]: moving out April 1st, probably the cruelest

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_01]: April 4th I could play on my dear husband

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_01]: which came 7 days later

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_01]: he said he always loved April 4th

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I feel a lot of guilt and guilt related pain

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I know what I'm doing is so cruel but

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I guess I'll just keep going with my plans

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_01]: there's no turning back now

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_01]: whenever I feel like shit like I'm the bad guy

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I just remember their conversations

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: no, I'm not the villain here

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_01]: all in the marriage and I will tell him

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_01]: that is because we aren't compatible anymore

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_01]: let him think whatever

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I've decided I shouldn't tell him that I know about her

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_01]: let him run back to her once he realizes that I'm really gone

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_01]: when my baby is older

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_01]: we could tell him that we got an amicable divorce

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_01]: no hurt or hard feelings

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_01]: few people who fell out of love

[00:17:39] [SPEAKER_01]: my boy doesn't need to know that his daddy broke up the family

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_01]: it is okay

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_01]: you can hate me

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_01]: and we have another update in a second

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_01]: but the two top comments on this one

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_01]: first one says the joke is our marriage

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_01]: this is just a punchline

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and says that's a free one

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_01]: you can have it

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_01]: an old IT guy says why are you feeling guilty

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_01]: he's the one that cheated and is reaping what he sowed

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: hopey says because I am bitterly plotting behind the scenes

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_01]: and won't give him a chance to apologize or explain

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_01]: war's girl says

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_01]: he didn't give you a heads up on his cheating did he

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_01]: hopey says nope

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_01]: he didn't

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_01]: so hopey came in with their update

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and says well hello and sorry for being so absent

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_01]: I know that I promised an update once I got out

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_01]: but I've been so busy adjusting to my new life

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I've received hundreds of have you moved out

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and is there an update, the end and comments

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope everyone who asks sees this because I have no possibility to answer each and every one

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_01]: also I don't know how many times I'm allowed to update here

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_01]: hopefully this is okay

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I did exactly as I planned

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I moved out after I left my husband to horse papers

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_01]: I told him that I wasn't in love with him anymore

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_01]: and I think we're better off as co-parents than as a couple

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_01]: and I found a new place and he could buy me out of our current home

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_01]: or sell the property once the divorce is finalized

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_01]: he was in total shock but probably not the same shock I was in

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_01]: when I found out that he was cheating on me

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_01]: he literally asked if I hit my head

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_01]: and even was telling people that he was worried that I had a brain tumor

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_01]: he was very angry in the beginning and wanted answers

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_01]: no answer was good enough

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_01]: is there someone else?

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_01]: no dear husband

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_01]: there isn't someone else but there isn't you either

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_01]: the audacity of that man

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I reminded him that we stood out our son

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and to think about him before acting vindictive

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_01]: sure enough he kept this civil around our son

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_01]: one thing he kept asking is why

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_01]: and how long ago I've stopped loving him

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_01]: he didn't get any answers from me

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_01]: other than that everything has been fine with me

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm adjusting well

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I still miss him but at the same time I feel like I could finally breathe

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I've been living on shallow breathing for the past months

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_01]: and now I could take full breaths

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_01]: our families are very sad and mostly shocked

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_01]: but honestly they've been very understanding

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_01]: there's no bad reason for divorce

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_01]: wanting divorce is good enough reason for them

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_01]: want to separate not want to be with your partner

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_01]: my ex-in-laws are still very active in my son's life

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and they've been very cordial if yet a bit cold towards me

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_01]: that represented itself when about two weeks ago

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_01]: my mother-in-law in a bit of a passive aggressive tone

[00:20:09] [SPEAKER_01]: told me that my husband has started seeing someone

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_01]: she apologized immediately and said

[00:20:14] [SPEAKER_01]: that she just wanted me to know and be prepared that he had someone new

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_01]: and yet I couldn't help but hear some vindication in her voice

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I just answered oh did you mean Karen

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I gave the mistress this name for obvious reasons

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_01]: she looked shocked and asked me did you know

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_01]: did he talk to you about it

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_01]: I said oh no but she isn't new

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I told her that she's been sleeping with her

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_01]: since I'd just given birth

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_01]: maybe even before that

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I kept my voice very quiet and monotone

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_01]: like we were discussing the weather

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_01]: was already regretting my slip

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_01]: but the news that he started seeing Karen again

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_01]: well very much anticipated still made my heart hurt

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_01]: my mother and father-in-law just looked at each other

[00:20:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if they believed me

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_01]: but then how would I have known about Karen

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_01]: when I refused to see him in person since our breakup

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_01]: so now everyone knows anyway

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I've learned that you can't keep these things to yourself indefinitely

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_01]: since he found out he's been calling and apologizing every day

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_01]: why didn't you tell me

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_01]: how much did I hurt you

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_01]: he said that he loved me and never stopped loving me

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_01]: that he was sorry for everything

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and that he would do anything to have me back as his wife

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_01]: my mother-in-law apologized too

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_01]: even though she had no control of what her grown-up son did

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: or does

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_01]: it's not her fault

[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_01]: he writes that he loves me every night before bed

[00:21:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope this doesn't mean that he would make the divorce drag out

[00:21:31] [SPEAKER_01]: because then I failed my plan

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_01]: but he seems to be less forgiving at the divorce

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_01]: when he knew that he was the reason for it

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_01]: and when he thought it was mine

[00:21:40] [SPEAKER_01]: weird

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_01]: the divorce is still processing

[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_01]: and if anything major happens I'll be here again

[00:21:45] [SPEAKER_01]: if I haven't outstayed my welcome already

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_01]: ciao

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_01]: so

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_01]: no one blanket says

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't even think you should regret the slip

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_01]: it's good that everyone knows what really happened

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_01]: it's good he can't twist the story

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's awesome that everyone now knows

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_01]: his new girlfriend is actually the woman who helped him ruin his marriage

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_01]: he loves you so much but didn't even grieve the marriage before dating her

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah no

[00:22:07] [SPEAKER_01]: and you're way too nice on your ex-mother-in-law

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_01]: she purposely tried to hurt you by even mentioning it

[00:22:13] [SPEAKER_01]: she can eat shit too

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_01]: unquantifiable life says

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a mother

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_01]: but I feel like there's a special pain in your former daughter-in-law telling you

[00:22:21] [SPEAKER_01]: the boy you raised is a cheater

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and ran to his mistress to legally get with her

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_01]: the second he could

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_01]: he's not coming back from that anytime soon

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_01]: it may have been said in error

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_01]: but I think the outcome is perfect

[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_01]: hope he says yeah she was devastated

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_01]: but nothing compared to his father

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_01]: they're not on speaking terms still

[00:22:39] [SPEAKER_01]: low key says

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I would send these love messages to Karen

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_01]: hope he says

[00:22:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I think being her is the worst punishment there is

[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_01]: low key replies in truly

[00:22:49] [SPEAKER_01]: not only knows you knew about her

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_01]: will always resent her in the back of his mind

[00:22:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and you will always be the one that got away

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_01]: wishing you a smooth divorce and all the best

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_01]: hope he was one final comment says they're not together anymore

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_01]: ended a couple of days after he got busted

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_01]: hopefully a single for a while

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_01]: a sense of not introducing a new partner until he is in a serious relationship

[00:23:10] [SPEAKER_01]: and I don't want to play down

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_01]: no peace feelings in this at all but I'm glad it came out as well

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_01]: especially as that first comment said on that last update

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_01]: where you know the potential for him

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_01]: to twist the truth here who's probably telling his mother-in-law

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_01]: you know she just broke up with me

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what's going through her mind right now etc

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_01]: she's mad

[00:23:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and we see it time and time again in these stories

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_01]: that the truth always seems to come out in some form

[00:23:33] [SPEAKER_01]: and without other people you know

[00:23:35] [SPEAKER_01]: around you friends family knowing the exact truth of

[00:23:38] [SPEAKER_01]: what happened they don't have the opportunity to give you

[00:23:41] [SPEAKER_01]: the full support you need because they might always be questioning

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_01]: why have you just suddenly broke up and you know

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_01]: he's the one who's hurting etc

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_01]: when you're the one who's been wronged in this

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_01]: maybe you don't need that support maybe you're independent

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_01]: and can deal with everything quite easily

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_01]: but a little support is always helpful

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_01]: but what do you guys make of this situation

[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_01]: let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:24:03] [SPEAKER_01]: just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_01]: for getting involved in today's stories

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_01]: your love, your support, your time

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_01]: always means the absolute world to me

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_01]: so thank you so so much and hopefully

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll see you in the next one

[00:24:16] [SPEAKER_01]: you bloody cheeky so and so

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