I Called A Guy A Jerk On His First Date With One OF Our Friends r/Relationships

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[00:00:31] 500 Euro bei deiner ersten Einstellung.

[00:01:05] I posted this in another thing, but nobody else there is seeing my problem. So, I'm 21 male and I was out with my girlfriend, 21 female at a bar and we run into a good friend from high school, Katie, fake name. With this other guy, she my friend knows, John, also fake name. Both are 21 also. Apparently they, John and Katie both met at my girlfriend's house a few weeks ago. A few weeks prior when John came to buy something from my girlfriend's

[00:01:35] dad. My girlfriend is excited to see them both and asks what they're doing there and they say they're on a date. We all talk for a bit and we end up at a table together. For context, originally, the way that we sat down was me and John across from each other and closest to the wall. The table was right up against the wall and the girls were on the outside and John immediately seemed irritated by this arrangement of seating even though he was by the girl he was with. Two guys were standing next to us after we all sat down.

[00:02:05] But we all start talking and John puts his hand on Katie's arm and tells her to trade seats with him. Katie did look a little confused but she started to get up to move and I told John to stop being such a dick if he wanted the date to go well. John proceeds to tell me to fuck off and sits down in the seat Katie moved from. About two to three minutes later, a fight broke out between the two guys mentioned before and one of them got punched and fell back directly into John.

[00:02:31] When everything finally got settled, I was like, wow, that was crazy. John looked at me and asked me, so am I still a dick? If you've been paying attention to your surroundings, you'd have noticed they were arguing before I made her move seats with me and you would have known that's why I made her move seats with me. And I understand, he thinks he's a hero or something, but he didn't make my girlfriend move. He was only worried about that girl. But now my girlfriend is mad at me because she says I was a dick to him. So am I the asshole?

[00:03:02] Seb Screen says to the OP, you're the asshole, mind your own business and stop telling other people how to treat their dates when they didn't ask and you certainly don't know better than they do. You know you would have made a big fuss if John had asked your girlfriend to move too. Another one says, you're the asshole. To be honest, you shouldn't have called him a dick for wanting to switch seats. Like even if you didn't know why he wanted to, there's literally no issue with wanting to switch seats.

[00:03:28] It's immature of him to think he's the hero in this situation, but also weird of you to get so invested in his potential relationship that you called him a dick for such a small reason. Like, why do you care so much? OP said, him switching seats put him facing my girlfriend at the table and me facing his date. So any conversation happening would have been weird. Email says you're the asshole. It seems like John was just trying to be considerate and protect Katie from a potential dangerous situation.

[00:03:56] Instead of assuming he was being a jerk, it might have been better to ask why he wanted to switch seats. Sometimes people have reasons for their actions that aren't immediately obvious. It's understandable to want to look out for your girlfriend's friend, but jumping to conclusions without the full picture can make you come off as a jerk in this situation. Maybe apologizing to John could clear the air and show some goodwill. Battlehamster says you're the asshole times four. The big four.

[00:04:22] You made an arrogant assumption and rather than try and explore the reason, you insulted him. And his responsibility is only to his girlfriend, not yours. And you obviously didn't even bother to apologize for being rude. Then you repost this thread because you didn't get sympathy in another thread. And now you're fishing for justification. Keep going down this route if you want your girlfriend to break up with you, genius. Hopey also added a couple more comments of their own. They said he was pissed off by the seating arrangement when we all first sat down, first of all.

[00:04:52] Second, he put his hand on her arm and told her to change seats with him. He didn't ask. Him switching seats put him facing my girlfriend at the table and me facing his date. So any conversation happening would have been weird. And the final comment from him. Exactly. Don't touch someone you don't know. It's okay with you touching them. And say, hey, switch seats with me. With no explanation of it to them at that moment as to why you're having them do it. Thank you. I don't understand why the communication is like just so aggressive.

[00:05:20] Like why would you immediately call someone a dick for asking to switch seats? You know, if you were curious about the reason why I would have went, oh, I'd have made a joke of it. I would have said, oh, do I smell or something, dude? But calling someone a dick, do you ever think that's ever going to go down well? Holy shit. Hopey comes in with an update and says, I posted my story a week ago and everybody called me an arsehole. But there's new information. Three days after the problem at the bar, I was going to work and my girlfriend asked me to stop by Katie's and get something she had borrowed.

[00:05:48] And said Katie knew I was coming by. I get to Katie's apartment and when I go to open the door, it's locked. Which has never been before when my girlfriend and I have gone there. We live in a small town. This isn't unusual to leave your door unlocked, especially during the day. So, I ring the doorbell and who answers the door? John. I asked him what he was doing there. And he gave this stupid smirk and said, I've been here for three days besides work. What are you doing here?

[00:06:17] I told him I needed to talk to Katie. He calls for Katie, who was I guess in the bedroom. And she comes out and brings me what my girlfriend needed. I asked her why the door was locked. And John, who was still in the room for some reason, decided to pipe up and say. Because I told her she needed to lock it so people don't just try and walk into her apartment like you just try to do. Katie has never locked that door. Or at least if she has, it's not when she's known someone has come into her house. I told him what Katie does in her own home isn't his business.

[00:06:46] If he's that worried, he can leave and he just laughed at me. So once again, he's trying to control Katie. And this time it's in her own house, where he has no say. I asked Katie to step outside with me. And she did, and I asked her if she felt safe. And she said she felt safer than she's ever been. But she rolled her eyes when she said it. I left and called my girlfriend to tell her about all this. And she got mad at me again and told me to leave John and Katie alone. But I'm really concerned about Katie's safety.

[00:07:14] My girlfriend hasn't heard from her in a few days now. I've tried texting her also, but my messages to her won't deliver. There's a reason they're not delivering, my dude. Take the hint. But someone suggested Opie is obsessed with Katie. Opie responded saying, I'm not obsessed with Katie. Katie can't see how John is, and it's dangerous for her. He's already controlling everything she does. And she immediately let him come to her house and tell her what to do there. Katie is being naive.

[00:07:43] Somebody said his girlfriend is mad because he's in love with Katie. Opie said, if that was true, wouldn't she also be mad at Katie? Because she's not. They don't talk 24-7, but they're good friends. And she hasn't said anything at all about being mad at either of us. Opie also says she's not his girlfriend as far as I'm aware. They went on the first date is all I know. And apparently, he went home with her and never left. Another commenter says, I know Katie pretty well. She and my girlfriend hang out often, either at my girlfriend's place or Katie's.

[00:08:13] And I've been at many, many of these hangouts. But I met John for the first time on the date they went on. Opie quotes someone saying, I hate to break it to you, but that's why the door was locked. And then says, I highly doubt Katie slept with him. I care about Katie because she's important to my girlfriend. Not because I'm obsessed with her. And one more comment from Opie which says, My girlfriend has told me that Katie has never slept with anyone before. And I'm assuming she would know since they've known each other for years. So no, I don't think Katie slept with him.

[00:08:43] Opie comes in with another update and says, new update. Some comments told me to reach out to Katie when I knew John wasn't around. Which became hard to do because he was there every day. I passed by her house on the way to work and I can see his car there. Editor's note, I couldn't find a single comment that told him to reach out. But I did manage to stop by three times and try to talk to Katie. Katie kept acting nervous when she opened the door and even more so when I asked her about John.

[00:09:10] I kept asking her if she felt safe and she kept saying yes, but really quickly and would close the door immediately. I tried to talk about this with my, now ex, girlfriend. But she got mad and broke up with me. I stopped by Katie's house that same day and Katie's neighbor said that she had moved out. I asked where she went and the neighbors told me that she thinks she's staying with that nice boy who's been staying here. So I guess John managed to convince Katie to cut off all her friends and move in with him.

[00:09:39] I don't know where John lives so I have no way of knowing if Katie is safe or not at this point. Their relationship has moved at light and speed for no reason other than John wants to have her under his complete control. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I just hope Katie is okay. We have a further update shortly but Opie responded to some more comments so I'll just list them off like last time. Opie started, nobody is stalking or harassing Katie. Next, she's not his to protect. He's making her do all these things she never did before.

[00:10:09] Somebody tells Opie that he's way more unhinged than John. Opie says at least you acknowledge John is dangerous and unhinged even if you're wrong about me. I just care about Katie. She's a good, soft-hearted and kind person and John is a typical alpha male who thinks he can control everything and bully everyone. Next comment says for caring about a friend. Okay, way to miss the point. John convinced Katie to move in with him suddenly and nobody in our friend group but my ex,

[00:10:38] who says Katie's dad and her, have heard from her in several days. That is controlling and it's dangerous. Opie says my ex has nothing to be embarrassed about. He's not a stand-up guy. He's a typical alpha male who thinks he's more important than he is. Opie says dude respectfully you don't know Katie. Katie, the preacher's daughter who's never had a boyfriend or slept with anyone before, who's the most soft-hearted of people I've ever met, soul to the earth, all that. Katie wouldn't willingly be with this dude.

[00:11:08] He's a dick. He's abrasive. He's standoffish. He's cocky and arrogant. You don't know these people. I do. Opie also says the only one obsessed with Katie is John. And again, he's not her boyfriend. What he did wrong was try to control every move she makes and then decide he was just going to stay at her house and never leave. Then convince her to leave her house and live with him. They've been together for like a month. That's how controlling he's being. Another comment from Opie. They went on one date. That doesn't make her his girlfriend.

[00:11:37] It was their first date my girlfriend and I ran into them on. He took her home and never left. Then he made her move in with him. Nobody goes on a date and decides they're going to live with someone. They've been together like a month. That's stupid fast. Opie says, anyone else who would say that's unreasonably fast and concerning. You're just mad because Katie has someone who cares about her and doesn't want anything to happen to her. Again, no, she moved out because she's scared to tell John no.

[00:12:05] Katie has never had a problem with me until she met him. John manipulates people into thinking he's the best thing that's ever happened to them. John is good at making people think he's the white knight. John is good at manipulating people. He's crossing major boundaries. You don't drop a girl off after a date and then stay for over a week. And you don't then make her move in with you other than just wanting to control her. And you're desiring her to sleep with you a few times and then toss her away. John has a reputation for being a bit of a fuckboy.

[00:12:35] So if she hasn't said anything bad about him yet, she will when she gets cheated on or thrown out for the next girl. And Opie's last comment on that update says, but apparently someone John knows and may know me. I'm not sure who it was saw the post and put two and two together and showed him. I just know he's seen them because he texts me to tell me he did.

[00:13:32] I was mistaken about the last update. The last update is coming from John. Hello people of Reddit. John here. Even though he fucked up and used my real name in one of his comments that he then edited. I got sent a link to the account repeatedly posting about me and my girlfriend. Yes, my girlfriend. Even though he swears up and down she isn't. This afternoon. And it's taken me a while to be able to decide what I'm gonna say. So if he wants to continue to take this to the internet for strangers to decide,

[00:14:01] I'll do that at this point. Since everybody is apparently familiar with these fake names due to the million posts he's made, I guess I keep using them. First of all, Colton, you don't get a fake name. Nobody one time ever told you that the bar was our first date. You decided that it was because you didn't know any better prior. You posted that post three weeks ago. And in it, you were correct in saying that I met Katie at Haley's dad's house. You never gave your girlfriend a fake name, so I will. A few weeks before that.

[00:14:29] So that means that we met six weeks ago. Our first date was the day after I met her. Whether Haley knew this or not, I have no idea. It's not something I ever bothered to ask Katie. Because it didn't seem important and still doesn't. Second, I don't know why Haley told you about Katie's previous sex life or lack thereof. But that was uncalled for and not her private business to share. It also wasn't your business to put on the internet. More than that, I can't even fathom how you managed to maneuver that question into a conversation

[00:14:59] with your own girlfriend. I doubt she just offered up the information. Third, you get commenting very adamantly in your first post. And maybe second, I lost track. Post that Katie definitely was not sleeping with me. Please allow me to put your misplaced concerns to rest since it's already out there. And I've talked to Katie about posting this. Yes, she is. But the sleep comes after all the sex. Fourth, let's talk about how you showed up to get Haley's sweater. You tried to barge into Katie's apartment.

[00:15:28] The door was locked, which by the way is a safety thing. You do know she could get out of the apartment even though it was locked from the inside, right? I have to make sure because you're not very smart. You threw what you can be only described as a temper tantrum of the century. Not only that, but that was not the first time you've tried to do so when dropping by to say hi. You then decided to interrogate Katie on her front porch about whether or not she wanted me to leave.

[00:15:54] Not only that, but, and you left this part out, you messaged Katie's dad, whom you've never met a day in your life. Once Katie calmed him down, he understood the situation. He likes me a lot by the way. We have plans for golf next week. And you text and called Katie so many times, it was insane.

[00:16:11] Fifth, when you kept dropping by repeatedly after all this when I was at work, you left out the fact that during the last visit, you went to the apartment manager's office and said you were there to check on your friend and convince her to give you a key to Katie's apartment. You conveniently leave out the part where Katie got out of the shower and found you standing in her fucking kitchen while she was in a towel. I need you to understand that you scared the shit out of her. She called me while I was at work crying.

[00:16:39] I had to leave work, call my brother, went to rent a U-Haul, and that was the day the three of us packed up all her shit in her house and she moved in with me. Sixth, in your comments you repeatedly said Katie wouldn't willingly be with me. Buddy, she's not chained in a basement. She has her own car and money and everything. Nobody has taken away any freedom she had before she and I got together. Seventh, you mentioned in some of your comments that I have a reputation for being a fuckboy. I'm not even really going to address this.

[00:17:09] Other than to say okay and... Eighth, you describe me as cocky and arrogant and you know what? I'll give you that. I am and I know I am. And you must think Katie is bottom of the barrel intelligence wise if you think she doesn't know it too. Ninth, Katie quit her job because you know where she works and she doesn't want to go back there. You can say a lot of things about me and some of them might be true. But I can promise you that I'm not the one Katie is afraid of. You are.

[00:17:37] And lastly, stay away from my house and stay away from Katie. Katie might be too nice and gentle to hurt your feelings. But I'm not. So am I really the arsehole here? So my initial thoughts after this was restraining order but apparently a lot of people already mentioned that. And John said she's worried to get a restraining order because right now he doesn't know where she is or where her family lives. If she gets one, he has to know where he's not allowed to be.

[00:18:03] Which means give him a list of all the places he could most likely find her should he decide to go looking. It's a rock and a hard place for her right now. I can't say I blame her for being worried about it. But we've seen a couple of stories like this in the past where the person convinces themselves so much that you know the person's in danger etc. They show stalking, obsessive behaviors and it is actually terrifying. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:18:30] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from throwawayhotdogguy25. And it says, Am I the arsehole for beating my 25 male girlfriend's 24 female dad, 51 male in a hot dog eating contest? Throwaway for anonymity. Okay, so the hot dog eating contest happened like 6 months ago during the summer.

[00:18:58] And I had no idea that I did anything wrong. But my girlfriend and I were arguing about something else. And she brought the contest up and said I had acted childishly. And I wanted to know if there was anything that I had to apologize for. So basically 6 months ago my girlfriend invited me to a food festival in her hometown. The day I arrived I learned that there was a hot dog eating contest. And the prize would be a $100 gift card to a large tech retail store. Being a casual competitive eater in college.

[00:19:26] I decided it would be a fun idea to enter and signed up on the website. When I told my girlfriend's family I'd entered the contest. My girlfriend's dad good naturedly clapped me on the back and said, Let the best man win. Apparently my girlfriend's dad had won the hot dog eating contest for the last 4 years. And was somewhat expecting to win again. Wanting the gift card I decided to give the contest my all. I ate a bunch of hot dogs. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing.

[00:19:54] But by the time I was done I'd eaten 16 hot dogs in 5 minutes. Beating my girlfriend's dad who only ate 12 hot dogs. When I was done my girlfriend's brother, Liam, 14 male. And a bunch of his friends mobbed me calling me the dogler. Giving me high fives and clapping me on the back. They said that I had dethroned the dogler. Pointing to my girlfriend's dad. And that I was the new dogler. That I was a real glizzyed Rizla?

[00:20:23] Or something like that. And that I was just shoving... Oh god. I can't say that's going to make me cringe. Glizzy after glizzy down my gullet. I'm sorry people. They posed for pictures with me. It was weird but kind of fun. Later my girlfriend's dad came up to me. Shook my hand and said I was good competition. He went home to do something in his wood shop. So I hung out with my girlfriend Liam and his friends. Going around to various food stalls and games. When we all ate dinner that night.

[00:20:53] The hot dog contest didn't come up at all. Except for when Liam kept referring to me as the dogler. And saying that he wanted to make a special dogler shirt for me. We had a nice breakfast the next morning. No sign that anything was wrong. Today though. My girlfriend brought up in our argument. That her dad was actually really wounded by losing the hot dog eating contest. But just didn't say anything to me. I said if I wasn't supposed to enter the contest. Then was it really a contest at all. And that she said it was less about the contest.

[00:21:21] But about the actual special dogler shirt. Liam made his dad a dogler shirt for the years he had won the contest. But I got the dogler 2024 shirt. She said that her dad only wanted to win the contest. To connect with Liam. And if anything. I should be able to understand the masculine ego. So read it. Am I. The arsehole. As I was typing into the Google search bar. Glizzy. It's actually got what is a glizzy hot dog. So it's an actual thing. I thought it was just some new word that I've never heard about.

[00:21:51] I found a comment on Reddit from someone talking about this. In our slash casual conversation. But from Bobarific. Who says. So apparently glizzy started as a hip-hop slang term for a Glock. A handgun. In the late 90s. And in 2016. Became a nickname for hot dogs in DC and Maryland. It didn't go viral until 2020. Where the term spread exponentially. Language adapts and changes over time. You can roll with it. Or you can go out and start yelling at clouds.

[00:22:22] And I do love new words. You often see it on like the news. New words coming out. And that's going in the dictionary etc. Like. And look. I've got nieces and nephews. These. I hear these new words fairly often. You know. You hear like. I'm sorry. I just can't. I can't do them. But fair play to them. You know. Language change. It adapts etc. But stuff like riz. Doom scrolling. I actually like that one. I think it's just the zzzz ones. That send the shiver down my spine. Just like the glizzy. The rizzy glizzy. I feel like someone's going to tell me.

[00:22:50] That's got some other meaning. That I shouldn't be saying. But hey. There it says. Not the arsehole. You didn't have any idea. This was an important family tradition. A moment until after you signed up. And who has control of the actions. Of a crowd of 14 year olds anyway. That said. All this tension for a gift card. Is kind of intense. Hope you got something good. With the prize money. Phony. Literal Florida man says. How the fuck is this real? It's the. In the 2% chance. This isn't phony. No.

[00:23:19] It's really fucking weird. To be butthurt about losing a hot dog contest. She's even weirder. For bringing it up months later. Dump her. Eat more hot dogs. Not the arsehole. Medium Buffalo Wings replied to that. And says. How dare you doubt the dogler. Lemon Charlie replies. That's end. Thank heavens. It wasn't the dogger. Thunder Sharting says. Great name by the way. Not the arsehole. Speaking as a fully fledged. Eccentric cargo shorts. Wearing 51 year old dad of 4.

[00:23:50] Yo. That motherfucker. Had better step up his dog eating game. If he wants to keep his shirt. There's a new sheriff in town boys. The cruel crucible. Of adversity. Is where the true dogler soul is forged. They don't hand out participation trophies. In this game fool. And one more comment. From all of us here. Who says. This is the funnest you're the arsehole. I've seen in a long time. Opie. I bet her dad wasn't as disappointed. As she's saying. Disappointed sure. But he sounded like a good sport. And congratulating you in the end.

[00:24:20] It can be a fun yearly tradition. Of who will be the reigning dogler. Next time you see her dad. Say you cannot wait to compete again. The whole story. I envision the pie eating scene. From stand by me. Absolutely. Not the arsehole. And I kind of wondered. Like some of the other comments. Is how upset actually is he. I thought you could. Maybe you could get him. Like a matching t-shirt. With a pair of you. Like arrows pointing to each other. Just like. And have just like. Just a pair of. I'm not going to say it. I'm going to say it.

[00:24:48] Just a pair of glizzy guzzlers. There's no help from me anymore. I've gone beyond. Anyway. What do you guys make. Of this situation. Let us know your thoughts down. In the comments below. Now just a huge thank you. For being here today. Getting involved in the stories. You'll love. You'll support your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much. And hopefully. I'll see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.

[00:25:33] Wann hast du zuletzt eine Stelle besetzt und gedacht, das war einfach. Wahrscheinlich lange her. Recruiting kann echt kompliziert sein. Es geht aber auch anders. Die Recruiting-Plattform Instafo liefert dir dank AI-Matchmaking nur passende Bewerbungen in deine Pipeline. Und per Chat kannst du direkt mit ihnen kommunizieren. Instafo erreicht über Podcasts, Reddit, YouTube und Co. Talente, die sonst schwer zu finden sind. Funktioniert für Enterprises wie RTL und GLS. Aber auch für Scale-Ups wie Du, Instruct und Finanz Guru. You only pay for Erfolg and spend over instafo.com.

[00:26:03] 500€ for your first time.