I Broke My Promise And Didn't Attend My Stepdaughters Graduation r/Relationships

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey Waffle Gang I do have you well, my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more

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[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Now today's first story comes from the Am I The Arseholes subreddit from okfirefighter602

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_02]: and says am I the arsehole for breaking a promise and attending my stepdaughters graduation.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll start by explaining some backstory.

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I 54 male lost my wife when my son 25 male and daughter 22 female for ages 9 and 12. Both

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_02]: my kids took it as hard as you would expect and for this day have a poor relationship

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_02]: with both my current wife, Maureen 49 female and my stepdaughter Amy 18 female.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I started dating Maureen about 4 months after my first wife passed. As such, my kids believe

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I cheated on their mum. Amy was 5 when we got together and as such I see her as my own

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_02]: daughter.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_02]: On to the actual story.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_02]: 4 years ago 2 days before K's high school graduation, Amy got very ill while visiting

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_02]: her grandparents and ended up needing emergency surgery. My wife and I rushed to be with

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy and admittedly I did not communicate well with K. At the time K didn't pick up my call

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_02]: so I left her a voicemail and several text messages explaining what happened and telling

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_02]: K I was sorry but I would make it up to her. A few hours go by and I get a call from K.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: She is in hysterics telling me what a terrible father I am and stated that if I did not

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_02]: attend her graduation I would be dead to her. I chose to support Amy. True to

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_02]: her words K did not contact me on the day of her graduation. When came home K's things

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_02]: had been moved out of the house with a note explaining that we were no longer family and

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_02]: to never contact her again. Luckily K and I were able to reconcile. However I promised

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_02]: her that I would give her absolutely anything in the world to make her forgive me. She

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_02]: said that she would forgive me as long as I refused to attend Amy's graduation as

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_02]: this was the only way to make it fair. I agreed at the time thinking she was just joking or

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_02]: angry and would soon forget. This leads me to now. Invitations for Amy's graduation

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_02]: went out. And despite all the hostility Amy wanted to make sure K got one. K called

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy later that day and said she'd be unable to attend as she and I would be spending

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_02]: the day together per our agreement. Amy broke down in tears asking me why I was

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_02]: missing her graduation. I assured her I was not and that I would speak to K. Later

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I explained to K that I simply could not miss Amy's graduation. K launched into a

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_02]: tirade about how I was a liar and an asshole and how could I do this to her

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_02]: again. I told her that we would talk when she calmed down and she said we would

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_02]: never talk again. My son and several of our extended family have all taken K's

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_02]: side saying that I didn't see how hurt she was at the graduation. My wife believes

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm an asshole for even promising that in the first place as I should have known

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_02]: would only upset one or both girls. And Amy is just sad and confused wondering

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: why K hates her. I know keeping my promise and not attending Amy's graduation

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_02]: is probably the only way to salvage my relationship with K but no matter how I

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_02]: look at it I would feel like I'm punishing Amy for having a medical

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_02]: issue. So am I the asshole. Edit to add some relevant info. I never cheated on my

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_02]: first wife. Your accusations are honestly tiring and disgusting. Amy's

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_02]: biofather was never in her life. I'm not Amy's biological father. I wasn't ever

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_02]: even in question as we're not the same race. Amy has appendicitis. She was

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_02]: staying over four hours away at a grandparents house. At the time that we

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_02]: left the only info Dorian's mother would give us was she passed out and wouldn't

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_02]: wake up. My daughter was moved out of our house for about a month and a half after

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_02]: which we made up and she returned to live with us for another two years before

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_02]: going away to school. I did not believe K when she said she wanted me to miss

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy's graduation as it seemed like a ridiculous request. Despite what you

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_02]: all may believe our relationship was fine after this event. We were in near

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_02]: daily contact and she would frequently visit us. I saw I spotted a response from

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_02]: OP to a comment so Victoria said you're the asshole you replaced your kid's

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_02]: mom with a new family four months after she died. Your kids lost their mom so

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_02]: young and you don't seem like you prioritized their feelings or helped them

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_02]: deal with things. Instead you moved on fast. Kay didn't have a mother to

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_02]: attend her graduation and she needed you there. Could you not have driven to

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_02]: the grad then back to the hospital? OP responded saying I didn't immediately

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_02]: move in Doreen and Amy once we started dating. We dated for over two years

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_02]: before we moved in together. My wife's death was not a sudden thing. She

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_02]: battled cancer on and off the years before she passed. My children already

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_02]: knew slash were comfortable with Doreen as she was my late wife's best friend.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought they would enjoy having her around more. I offered both children

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_02]: grief counseling. My son took me up on it. I took Kay to a few sessions

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_02]: but she would kick scream cry every time I took her. Finally the counselor decided

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_02]: that forcing her before she was ready would only worsen her grief. I offered

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_02]: her therapy many times over the years but she never took me up on it.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Which are comments on the back of that were like oh boy an OP says I'll

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_02]: reply to you since everyone loves to assume the worst. My current wife

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_02]: was my late wife's best friend and was like an aunt to my children as

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_02]: well as a very close friend to me years before my late wife and I ever

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_02]: even got together. She helped a lot when my wife was sick and continued to

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_02]: help us after she passed. It was my late wife who suggested we should get

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_02]: together after she passed so neither would be lonely without her. At the

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_02]: time we were both disgusted as neither of us were the portrayal like that but

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_02]: months after my wife passed Doreen and I found comfort in one another

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_02]: despite what others chose to believe took the relationship very slowly.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_02]: And there's so many things that have me side eyeing it like the four

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_02]: months after the wife passed away you can see why people are going down that

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_02]: road you know four months after of course the kids are still going to be

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_02]: struggling like I always say people deal with grief in different ways but four

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: months after of course those kids are still going to be hurting from this.

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_02]: So then to suddenly you have a new woman and then you start dating and

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_02]: stuff of course they're gonna be like what the fuck and it being the best

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_02]: friend someone who's been involved with the family as well someone that

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_02]: you said they considered an aunt. I mean like we've said in other

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_02]: stories people move on at different times people grieve in different

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_02]: ways but holy shit four months and it's just a lack of consideration

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_02]: towards your own children that thought process as well which just

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_02]: seems a bit wild to me. And there's the whole graduation and

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_02]: a stupid promise you made saying that you won't attend Amy's

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_02]: graduation why you would think that was a joke at all is beyond me.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_02]: The commenter says you're the asshole way back four years ago when

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_02]: you couldn't find a way to showcase she mattered to you on an

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_02]: important day and you're the asshole for making that impossible

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_02]: promise to win back your relationship. Now you're the

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_02]: asshole for prioritizing the stepdaughter again five months ago

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_02]: in a new relationship after your wife died was also probably

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_02]: another you're the asshole moment not giving your kids enough

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_02]: time to grieve with your support. You created that poor

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_02]: family bond yourself. Oh yep you're the asshole all the

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_02]: way around leave care alone. She deserves better.

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_02]: The pendant aside says you're the asshole you shouldn't have

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_02]: promised something you weren't willing to follow through on.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Also why wouldn't you go to case graduation ceremony while

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Doreen was with Amy and return to see Amy after the

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_02]: ceremony. It does sound like you were choosing Amy of a K

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_02]: you created this monster by starting to date so soon after

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_02]: your wife's death. You aren't thinking about how your actions

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_02]: affect your kids sneaky sneaky squirrel says you're the

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_02]: asshole you not only missed case graduation you vanished on

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_02]: her. You are only living parent she lived in your house

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_02]: independent on you and whoops you didn't communicate well

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_02]: unless you the actual surgeon taking care of Amy how could

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_02]: you just up and leave like that. That's not normal or OK.

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_02]: K was old enough to take care of her basic needs but you

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_02]: just abandon her for three plus days including the days

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: leading up to and including the biggest milestone in her

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_02]: life so far. Would you and your wife just disappear on

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy like that. And then you made this stupid promise to

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: cable because you can't be bothered to take her at her

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_02]: word not to mention the remarrying timeline. And one

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_02]: more comment from conscious excitement who says you

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_02]: abandoned your daughter to ensure that you continue

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_02]: to get laid. You allowed your stepdaughter to demand

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_02]: that you put her ahead of your biological daughter

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I call bullshit on a few things. I don't believe

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_02]: that you didn't cheat. I also don't believe that

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy doesn't understand why K is mad. Now you get to accept

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_02]: that when K gets married you aren't going to be the one

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_02]: to walk her down the aisle. Hell you probably won't even

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_02]: get invited to the wedding and forget ever meeting

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_02]: grandkids. You won't get that from K because to her

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_02]: her dad died when her mom did. She's essentially an

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_02]: orphan because you decided that Amy was and is more

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_02]: important than K is. Good job on being a terrible

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_02]: parent. You're the asshole.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_02]: So the post was pretty much an overwhelming. You're

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_02]: the asshole. There was a couple of comments which

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_02]: were downvoted that said basically OP can move on

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_02]: when he wants. You know the children can't control

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_02]: how he deals with his own relationships etc. But as

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I said they were pretty much downvoted but then

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_02]: a month later OP comes in with her update and

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_02]: says I wasn't sure if I wanted to post an

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_02]: update after the reaction I got last time. I

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_02]: can stomach death threats against myself but

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_02]: directing such hatred towards my children was

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_02]: truly disturbing. But the graduation has come

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and gone and I thought I should share how it all

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_02]: went down. I'm sure most of you will be

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_02]: displeased. Amy was mad at me for a few days

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_02]: but we have a strong bond and she quickly got

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_02]: over it. The saint that she is said she would

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_02]: understand if I wanted to miss it to make it

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_02]: up to K. I told her I wouldn't do that to

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_02]: her and reassured her that she has done

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_02]: nothing wrong. As for the elephant in the

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_02]: room K, she and my son live in the same

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_02]: city and work in the same field so they're

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_02]: as close as ever. My son and his partner

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_02]: were giving her a lot of emotional support

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_02]: at this time. In the end she decided not to

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: attend Amy's graduation but sent flowers

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_02]: in a card with my son. There are a lot of

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_02]: nasty messages directed towards her which

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I feel is completely unacceptable. She

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_02]: isn't mean or vindictive. She isn't

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_02]: mean or vindictive. She is a smart,

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_02]: very kind, very empathetic woman. She

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: made a bizarre ultimatum as a

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_02]: confused and hurt teenager. I certainly

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_02]: don't think that makes her a bad person.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I know all of you seem to think I hate my

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_02]: children. The amount of pain I feel

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_02]: that the deterioration of my relationship

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_02]: with my daughter is unexplainable.

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I've been on and off antidepressants

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_02]: since the death of my wife and at my

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_02]: therapist suggestion we'll be going

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_02]: back on them. It's taken all of my

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_02]: willpower not to reach out to her

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_02]: again but I've already disrespected

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: her wishes enough. She can choose to

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_02]: reach out to me when and if she ever

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_02]: wants to again then I'll be waiting.

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I know it's not the most impactful update

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_02]: and I'm sure most of you wanted to see

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_02]: me left miserable and alone but I don't

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_02]: live my life for anyone else's

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_02]: entertainment. I can accept that I'm the

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_02]: arsehole. Maybe I'm an arsehole in

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_02]: general but I'm not some evil monster

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_02]: that you will want me to be. I'm a

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_02]: man that made a mistake, a mistake of

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_02]: sharing his problems with the internet,

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_02]: a mistake I won't be making again.

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I probably won't delete this account

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_02]: but I'm not going to be updating in

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: goodbye.

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_02]: So there was a comment which OP

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_02]: responded. The fairly lengthy one so

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_02]: feel free to skip it if you feel like

[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_02]: it. It's from yogurt closet who says

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_02]: look OP I get that you're a human,

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_02]: just a man but you can't get away with

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_02]: the I made mistakes because you make

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_02]: the same ones over and over again.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't understand trolls and stupid

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_02]: people with their death threats or

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_02]: nasty messages about your kids it's

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_02]: wrong and disgusting. The only issue

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_02]: here is you. The fact that you

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_02]: claim to love Kay and how it's

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_02]: breaking your heart that she wants

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_02]: nothing to do with you is your own

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_02]: fault. Every mistake you made and

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_02]: repeated always seems to be against

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_02]: her. I don't actually think you care

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_02]: about Kay at all as much as you still

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_02]: have Amy. Now you've decided on oh well

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I fucked up again and made so many

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_02]: mistakes I'll just leave her alone

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_02]: and not confront the fact that you

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_02]: failed her as a supportive father.

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Own it, change your damn ways.

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Believe me you're not the worst

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_02]: dad out there but you're a shitty

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_02]: one to Kay. When will you wake up

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_02]: and realize without the self pity

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_02]: that you have to be the one to

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_02]: make amends? One earth would she

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_02]: contact you. You do not care that one

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_02]: day she will get married and you won't

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_02]: be invited to the wedding or even to

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_02]: walk her down the aisle. When she has a

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_02]: first child and you find out through

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_02]: the grapevine instead of being a

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_02]: grandpa maybe one day she'll forgive

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_02]: you but not if your solution is to

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_02]: just give her space. Seems to me

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_02]: she had a lot of space from you

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_02]: already. All she wanted was your

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_02]: time and soul attention for a bit

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_02]: and you've never been able to

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_02]: give her that. I feel for both

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_02]: your son and daughter because it

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_02]: seems you have a favorite and you

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_02]: don't care as long as Amy is okay.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Let me guess and say your wife thinks

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_02]: it's best to give her the space.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy may be a nice girl but I bet your

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_02]: wife has encouraged your behavior.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_02]: It's honestly sad. Hope your response

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_02]: saying I'm giving Kay space because

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_02]: that's what she wants. I can't do

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_02]: anything other than that. No matter

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_02]: what I'm still going to be there for

[00:14:13] [SPEAKER_02]: any way I can but for the time

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_02]: being I'm not going to pester her

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_02]: or beg for her forgiveness because

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_02]: that's not what she wants. I've made

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_02]: mistakes and on top of that list is not

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_02]: listening to my children when they tell

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_02]: me exactly what they need from me.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Another commenter says even if this is a

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_02]: follow-up post the way you speak about

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Kay they discussed you feel for her

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_02]: ooze is out. You claim so many people

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_02]: spoke badly of her in your previous

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_02]: post but those comments were minimal

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_02]: compared to the people that spoke

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_02]: badly of you, your wife and

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_02]: St. Amy. But you don't mention that

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_02]: you still want Kay to be the

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_02]: bad daughter saying her request was

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_02]: sad and bizarre. No it wasn't. It's so

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_02]: convenient that this is when all of a

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_02]: sudden you realize you need to and

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_02]: we'll listen to Kay. Not when she was

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_02]: begging you to choose her for once

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_02]: since your dear St. Amy came into your

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_02]: life. All you had to do was not go

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_02]: to a high school graduation.

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_02]: You couldn't even do that. You're a

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: horrible father to Kay and you will

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_02]: continue to be one. The fact that

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_02]: you still made the decision to put

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy over your freaking daughter is

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_02]: so sad. The fact that you cared so

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_02]: more over Amy being upset over

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_02]: letting Kay down again says a lot.

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Leave Kay alone. Don't ever contact her

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_02]: again unless it's to say flat out to

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_02]: her face that you're stepping down as

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_02]: a father since you know you'll never

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_02]: be able to give her the love and

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_02]: attention you give your true daughter

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Amy. That Amy will always come first. I

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_02]: had peritonitis. I was in the

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_02]: hospital at eight years old but

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_02]: almost a year on and off and my

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_02]: mum would leave to work. She was a

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_02]: single mother and I was fine. Amy

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_02]: was a teenager. Had a mother and

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_02]: grandparents. She had appendicitis. A

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_02]: common procedure. Two freaking days

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_02]: before your daughter's graduation

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_02]: and you couldn't leave just for a day

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_02]: because Amy wanted me by her side.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_02]: My heart aches for Kay knowing she is

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_02]: pretty much an orphan.

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Parents like you I don't freaking

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_02]: understand. You should have given up

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_02]: your rights as a father the moment

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_02]: you decided that your new family

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_02]: was more important than your

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_02]: children. I don't think I've ever

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_02]: had so much hate for a stranger on

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Reddit. ETA. By the way you're a sad

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_02]: excuse of a man. You didn't make an

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_02]: excuse. You made various choices and

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_02]: decisions to deliberately hurt your

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_02]: daughter. You decided to put Amy

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_02]: first. You're no victim. Your new

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_02]: victim here is your ex-daughter,

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Kay, and probably a brother as well.

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_02]: And the comments pretty much just

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_02]: continued along those lines but

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_02]: holy, holy what do you guys make

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_02]: of this situation? Maybe you got a

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_02]: different take on the matter. Let us

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_02]: know your thoughts down in the

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_02]: comments below. Let's have one more

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_02]: story and we're going to check out the

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_02]: MI the arsehole. So I read it some of

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_02]: you guys been enjoying those stories

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_02]: just recently. It's from immediate

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_02]: piano 2045 and says I'm I the

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_02]: arsehole for making my parents

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_02]: replace my toys they decided to give

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_02]: away. I'm moving to another city

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_02]: for work. Since I'm an adult and

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_02]: not a college kid I hired movers.

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER_02]: My parents insisted on coming down to

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_02]: help me pack up. I live in their

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_02]: basement suite. It was cheap and

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_02]: they let me have my privacy. They bought

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_02]: my brother and my nephew. The four of

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_02]: them were as helpful as a bag of used

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_02]: horse condoms especially by nephew.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_02]: My parents decided to keep him busy by

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_02]: giving him one of my Lego sets to play

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_02]: with. I collect them. What I usually

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_02]: do is buy two sets of the same one.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I build one, put it up for display

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_02]: and leave the other one in the box

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_02]: to trade or sell. He took it upstairs

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_02]: to stay out of the way then he took

[00:17:39] [SPEAKER_02]: it home. All I noticed is that he was

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_02]: out from underfoot. The next day I saw

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_02]: the box on the garbage. I didn't assume.

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I knew the answer already but I didn't

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_02]: assume. I went upstairs to talk to them.

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I asked where the Lego box came from.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_02]: They said they gave it to Travis to

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_02]: keep him busy. I told him that they

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_02]: needed to replace it. They said I

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_02]: was being childish for caring so much

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_02]: about a toy. I said they could

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_02]: replace it or had filed an

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_02]: insurance claim and they would

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_02]: probably require a police report. My

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_02]: dad got angry. He pulled out $70 and told

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_02]: me I was an asshole for making a fuss

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_02]: over a toy. I asked him if that was a

[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_02]: down payment. He said that is what he

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_02]: spent on the last Lego gift he got me

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_02]: on Christmas. And that is what those

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_02]: helmets cost. Oh shit it's a Star Wars

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_02]: collector set. It's gotta be. I

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_02]: showed him the box. I told him to

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_02]: keep his money. He just had to give

[00:18:31] [SPEAKER_02]: me a sealed box like the one he

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_02]: stole. He said he didn't steal

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_02]: anything. He took the box and went

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_02]: to the Lego store nearby. When he came

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_02]: back he was apologetic. He said he

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_02]: would get it back from my nephew. I

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_02]: said I wanted a sealed box with the

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_02]: tie fighter helmet. I even went on

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_02]: eBay to help him find one cheaper

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_02]: than he found by himself at the

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_02]: collectible store the guy at the

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Lego store sent him to. For shipping

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_02]: it would only be $300. He ordered

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_02]: it. He isn't happy about it. My

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_02]: mum is upset that I'm expecting

[00:19:03] [SPEAKER_02]: that much money for a toy. My dad

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_02]: is upset that I didn't explain

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_02]: before he went and made a fool of

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_02]: himself at the store. I'm upset that

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_02]: they stole from me. I am the arsehole.

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Comments say not the arsehole. Your

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_02]: parents are judgmental and

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_02]: inconsiderate. One, they literally

[00:19:21] [SPEAKER_02]: stole sewing of yours and gave it

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_02]: to your nephew without asking you

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_02]: first. Two, when you asked them

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_02]: about it they belittled you for

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_02]: even having it in the first place.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Three, they didn't even think they

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_02]: needed to replace the stolen item

[00:19:33] [SPEAKER_02]: and probably wouldn't have even

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_02]: told you about it if you hadn't

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_02]: asked. Their opinion of whether

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Lego products or for kids is

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_02]: irrelevant because the fact that

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_02]: they're a collectible item that

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_02]: people pay a lot of money for. All of

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_02]: it could have been avoided if they

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_02]: just asked you first or even better

[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_02]: if they're bothered to have things

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_02]: in the home to entertain their

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: grandson in the first place

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_02]: instead of just taking your stuff.

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_02]: They probably hoped since you have so

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: many boxes of Lego sets who would

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_02]: never notice it was missing.

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Different opinion here, Boad says

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_02]: you're the arsehole. Yeah dude

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_02]: you're the arsehole. Don't get me

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_02]: wrong your parents made a mistake and

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_02]: were clearly oblivious about the whole

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_02]: thing as most parents tend to be.

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_02]: As a fellow Lego lover I get that this

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_02]: is a very shitty situation for you.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_02]: The way you handle it makes you the

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_02]: clear arsehole. Immediately

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_02]: escalating mentioning police reports

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_02]: and insurance claims is what arseholes

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_02]: do. Your dad got defensive and maybe

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_02]: didn't respond great either

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_02]: but judging from how you seem to

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_02]: have started the conversation

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_02]: they wonder he did. He just wanted

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_02]: to come help his kid. However

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_02]: useless you described him to be and he

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_02]: was apologetic the moment he realized

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_02]: the truth of the situation

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_02]: because he is not an arsehole. So yeah

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_02]: you're in the right to ask compensation

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_02]: absolutely. You handled it like an

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_02]: arsehole. And one more comment from Lucy

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Morris who says you're technically in

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_02]: the right here. I think your response

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_02]: was a bit harsh and you're kind of

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_02]: the arsehole here. While your parents

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_02]: have no business giving your set away

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I would have been

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_02]: able to charge the people who raised

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_02]: me for their mistake. I definitely

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_02]: would have made them aware of my

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_02]: displeasure and let them know they

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_02]: crossed the line by giving something

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_02]: did not belong to them away.

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_02]: However I would not be using the term

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_02]: stole. It was a mindless mistake and

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I would never make my parents shell out

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_02]: 300 bucks. Especially when I just

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_02]: lived in their home for cheap

[00:21:17] [SPEAKER_02]: slash less than market value.

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_02]: You only get one set of parents

[00:21:21] [SPEAKER_02]: it's not worth it to grift over

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_02]: money or a mistake. And your parents

[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_02]: are truly aging or you didn't have

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_02]: them anymore. Maybe you'll see

[00:21:28] [SPEAKER_02]: things differently. You've made

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_02]: your point back down for the sake of

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_02]: relationship and to avoid regret.

[00:21:35] [SPEAKER_02]: But now I'm going to turn this one to

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_02]: you guys. What do you guys make of

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_02]: this situation? How would you deal with

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_02]: it if it was you? Let me know your

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_02]: thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_02]: That's just a huge thank you for the

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_02]: bottom of my heart for getting

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_02]: involved in today's stories. Your love,

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_02]: your support, your time always means

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_02]: the absolute world to me so thank

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_02]: you so so much and hopefully

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll see you in the next one. Take care

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_02]: and much love.

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: What's good what the thing I need

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_00]: but then alone came a time when you

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_00]: crushed my dreams oh yeah you played

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_00]: me like a fool when you made me

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_00]: believe that the line between love

[00:22:13] [SPEAKER_00]: was ridiculous arena yeah you see

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_00]: we in the spare crime everywhere

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_00]: you're selling false hope because

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_00]: you just don't get knocked up.