I Banned My Wife From Naming Our Baby After Her Dead Best Friend r/Relationships

[00:00:00] Tired of ads intruding into your favorite comedy podcasts? Good news! Ad-free listening is

[00:00:05] available on Amazon Music for all the music plus top podcasts included with your

[00:00:09] prime membership. Dive into a world of laughs by downloading the Amazon Music app for free,

[00:00:14] or go to amazon.com slash comedy ad free. That's amazon.com slash comedy ad free to catch up

[00:00:21] on the latest episodes without the ads.

[00:00:51] I'm I the Arsol for banning my wife from naming our baby after a dead best friend. This is a throwaway

[00:00:58] due to some personal info on this post, I don't want to be linked back to my main. Long story short

[00:01:03] my 28 male wife 28 female is a strange from her family and has been since a teenager. She met

[00:01:10] either in school and they were inseparable but even let him my wife stay over a lot as well as

[00:01:15] providing a constant source of support. I met my wife at university. Unfortunately, Eva died

[00:01:21] suddenly a year into our relationship. I met her a few times and she was lovely. My wife was

[00:01:28] understandably devastated. Two years ago we married and she took my last name. Brown. Her baby girl

[00:01:35] is due in the spring and understandably my wife wants to honour Eva in her name. This is something

[00:01:41] that she has said throughout the relationship. I was happy with the idea of honouring her and

[00:01:47] we discussed baby names throughout the relationship and pregnancy. The leading name we were

[00:01:51] tossing about was a place name that had significant memories to them. Yesterday she came up to me

[00:01:57] and said that she had a dream about Eva asking her to remember her by her name. She had something

[00:02:02] like this around the time Eva died but none recently to my knowledge and to memorialize her,

[00:02:08] our baby must be called Eva. I said absolutely no way. She said why not and I reminded her of the

[00:02:15] historical figure. Now it says Eva and it looks like Braun B.R. AUM best pronounced

[00:02:22] Brown. Wife was probably one of history's most evil figures and reassured her that we'll tell

[00:02:28] our kids about Arn's Eva. And she'll always be remembered but my wife refused saying it has to

[00:02:34] be her name. She says she will make the link to the historical character and she won't be bullied

[00:02:38] at school. She said she'd fell out with a place name and a family member had a baby recently

[00:02:43] with a similar name. I think Brooklin suggested things to do with Eva such as her birthstone or

[00:02:50] honouring her through a middle name or even names that had even either in. Anything but Eva itself.

[00:02:56] She started crying and said that she won't name the baby anything else and it's the ultimate way

[00:03:02] Eva can live on. I said it's a shitty situation and if we had literally any other surname we would

[00:03:09] but I literally can't. Not only am I extremely morally opposed, I work in a field where

[00:03:14] if there was wind that I named my child Eva Brown my work could be a risk. She said I'm making excuses

[00:03:20] and not supporting her as she has put a lot of effort to having this baby. This resulted in a fight

[00:03:26] and now I'm on the couch for the second night now. Some of our friends are saying I'm dramatic but

[00:03:31] my sister the mother of Brook is telling me that if she continues to register a baby without her

[00:03:37] to be honest I'm leaning that way if she continues not to compromise. I'm really not sure what to do

[00:03:42] I'm IVR soul for not wanting to name my baby Eva. We're starting the comments with Rainbow

[00:03:49] Bright 31 who originally says original comment I don't think anyone would link the name but

[00:03:55] then I'll be interested to know more about your work. I appreciate I could be wrong

[00:03:59] but why being so emotional about this actually makes me think this is a bad idea. Your daughter

[00:04:04] is not a way for a woman she never met to live on. I think that's a terrible affliction for any child

[00:04:09] to be honest then that commenter edits the post and says edit to change my vote from everyone

[00:04:14] sucks here too not the arsehole. Given OPE's job as a history teacher and the fact that so many people

[00:04:20] did make the correlation between the names so I stand corrected there. And on the back of that comment

[00:04:25] that's kind of the way that I felt not going to the whole history of the name or anything like

[00:04:31] that but the wife's link to the name and the way the words where it said it's the ultimate way

[00:04:37] Eva can live on. It just made me feel you know it doesn't feel very healthy to me but I can always

[00:04:42] say in these stories you know, grieve the way that you want to grieve but do it in a healthy way

[00:04:48] and it just kind of feels like wife Nisa talked to someone in therapy about this whole situation

[00:04:54] which clearly got some stuff still going on and probably will for a very very long time if not

[00:04:59] forever. Like I said, I'm always very pragmatic about the stuff that's gone on in the past for me

[00:05:06] but every year I still get like very very similar dreams about the situation that I went through

[00:05:11] it's very very weird it's always the same time of year etc but I really hope that she's

[00:05:16] going to find some kind of peace with this in the update. But M-BotBot says not the arsehole

[00:05:21] put in the actual name aside although I instantly made a connection and not exactly a history

[00:05:26] buff so yikes she's the arsehole for this it's the ultimate way Eva can live on. That's a lot of

[00:05:32] pressure to put on your unborn child. One anger friend is one thing, expect your child to be

[00:05:37] how she gets to live on is too much. Spiraling says I'm so sorry your wife lost her best friend

[00:05:44] like that but she absolutely should not be able to force you to name the baby anything you don't want

[00:05:50] to. I see comments on the sub all the time about two yes one no this is a textbook case of that.

[00:05:55] I get people saying you suck too for your reasoning, angry most folks in most places most of

[00:06:01] the time probably wouldn't even make let alone care about the Hitler connection but it just doesn't

[00:06:06] matter. I'm not comfortable with that should be a reason enough to move on to a different name

[00:06:10] or stop not the arsehole. No performance says unnamed after someone that tragically died young.

[00:06:18] It caused me significant turmoil as a small child especially seeing pictures of this person

[00:06:23] in family albums etc. Please share this with your wife feel free to follow up with questions

[00:06:29] and that I didn't even think about that side of things as well you know growing up knowing

[00:06:33] that you're named after someone who passed away tragically and then Tim pitches them and knowing

[00:06:39] that who was named after that's got to be like now it's got to throw you a bit right. Access strike

[00:06:45] and says not the arsehole I'm quite certain everybody voting you're the arsehole is American.

[00:06:49] Every European will make the connection instantaneously. Also many people here seem to wrongly

[00:06:54] assume that brown is pronounced wrong. Let me assure you it is not it's pronounced brown

[00:07:01] it sounds exactly the same if somebody had that name or just assume that either their parents

[00:07:06] are Nazis or uneducated if I was unfortunate enough to have been given that name I would change

[00:07:11] it at the first opportunity don't put your daughter through this. On the back of someone saying

[00:07:17] can you use your wife's maiden name Opie says my wife is a stranger from her family and was very

[00:07:22] eager to drop a maiden name she has said that name makes her think of a horrible past I know she

[00:07:27] would not ever change her name back let alone name a child with it she's also real close to my

[00:07:32] family who took her as one of their own in when we met due to her situation we are UK so yes she could

[00:07:39] have kept the name if she wanted to she's estranged from her family and has been for 10 years

[00:07:45] a family don't know where she is or of my existence she had a common first but a distinct maiden name

[00:07:51] so wanted to swap to my obviously rather common name but not because she wants no ties to that name

[00:07:57] but also so they could not find her as they are very bad dangerous people this is also why we will

[00:08:04] not consider comments about swapping to her maiden name about Opie's profession and why people would

[00:08:10] know Opie says I work as a history teacher in a very liberal school and Nazis is a decent chunk

[00:08:15] of the curriculum for some of my older students not that I would share my personal life in depth

[00:08:20] to the students my colleagues and SMT would definitely ask about it out to rise the ranks at the

[00:08:26] school so I don't want to affect that I also have a cousin who is one of my older students so

[00:08:31] there is a risk of students and the fact that parents find out my baby's name that way if

[00:08:37] her friends ask someone says B-R-A-U-N is pronounced brown in German so people who know history will

[00:08:45] know Opie says yes I am based in the UK and I teach the Nazis in my syllabus while my German is

[00:08:51] very basic and picked up from a couple of weeks of travelling or some of the vocab I've come across

[00:08:56] in my job I thought brown was pronounced similar to Opie sound to helped man sorry I did look

[00:09:02] that up but I couldn't find a non robotic one so if that's wrong I do apologise or organ

[00:09:09] correct me if I'm wrong just curious so around 22 days later after that post Opie comes in with

[00:09:15] an update and says hi all it's been a while and I didn't realise I was still logged into this

[00:09:20] account I didn't expect my MIDR soul post to blow up so much and I'd like to thank you all

[00:09:25] for your comments it really gave me food for thought or soon after posting I call up Eva's sister

[00:09:31] Rose as my wife Lou is very close to her and explain the situation I know I shouldn't get people

[00:09:38] involved in marital matters but Rose's opinion really matters to Lou especially when Eva is involved

[00:09:44] Rose agreed with me that naming a daughter Eva brown would be harmful and she mentioned

[00:09:49] something that we believe to be a game changer one thing you must know about the late Eva

[00:09:54] year reader was that she was a writer she kept journals which her sister held onto after a death

[00:10:01] and one of these journals was a baby name list where she gave five names for a girl and five names

[00:10:07] for a boy Rose held on to these names when she was having children one of her sons is named the top

[00:10:13] boy name but she is done now and wants to give it to my wife but we believe we have to introduce

[00:10:19] this carefully so we launched a game plan the next day I sat down with Lou and said on no uncertain

[00:10:26] terms what our daughter would be called Eva brown is the only surname we have and Eva is not

[00:10:31] something I feel comfortable pairing with it as I mentioned in comments my wife is a strange

[00:10:36] from her family and often jokes that we got married so young at 22 so she could get rid of a

[00:10:41] maiden name she agreed that our child will take our married name but continued to stress about

[00:10:47] forgetting Eva I also mentioned that by naming a child Eva we'd be pressuring that child to live

[00:10:53] on for dead Eva and that's a big burden for young shoulders my cousin was named after a

[00:10:58] dead relative and my grandparents often compared him to that relative and that's not something I want

[00:11:03] for my own child that seemed to resonate and she admitted that pregnancy was bringing up old feelings

[00:11:09] and she and Eva always said that they'll be pregnant together I suggested therapy and she started

[00:11:15] therapy last week I then talked about mine in roses conversation and she was very interested we

[00:11:22] agreed that it would be lovely giving Eva the opportunity to name a child knowing it was something

[00:11:27] she was seemingly passionate about and have narrowed it down between two of the five girl names

[00:11:33] turns out the girl had taste being able to discuss baby names and thinking about our daughter as

[00:11:38] our own person has been a blessing and I can see my wife is on the mend I think this will be

[00:11:44] the only update and I can't wait to meet my daughter thank you all for the help

[00:11:51] now for me I'm always worried that you know people are going to pick up on something that I missed

[00:11:55] in that update or something but I felt that was a real beautiful update for me finding those

[00:12:01] journals and seeing those baby names and I think that's a wonderful way to honor her especially when

[00:12:06] wife in this situation is going through therapy as well to navigate away through it I think that's

[00:12:13] beautiful and for OP as well to be understanding of the situation to reach out to others for support

[00:12:19] and talk to them not to overwhelm the wife or anything but just to seek that support and if he's

[00:12:24] going down the right path for this and I totally got where he was coming from so all I can say

[00:12:30] after this is you know well done to both of you for for moving on in a positive way for looking

[00:12:36] after your health at the same time and you know congratulations and I hope the birth and everything

[00:12:42] goes as perfect as it can be but again just going on the back of that you know when wife was talking

[00:12:47] about you know pregnancy and stuff I can't imagine what it's like you know dealing with both

[00:12:53] pregnancy hormones and and and juggling grief at the same time it must throw you all over the place

[00:12:59] obviously I don't know that but I can only imagine but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys

[00:13:07] what do you guys make of this situation how would you deal with it if you was OP'd you think it

[00:13:12] was dealt with in a in a good way or have you got a different opinion on the matter let us know

[00:13:18] your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another

[00:13:28] head over to hulu this march where new shows and movies will keep you streaming all month long

[00:13:33] catch the award-winning movie four things starring Emma Stone Mark Ruffalo and Willem Dafoe

[00:13:39] check out the new documentary Freaknake the wildest party never told about the iconic Atlanta street

[00:13:44] party and don't miss FX's show gun a reimagining of the epic tale starring Anna Sohye

[00:13:52] so what are you waiting for go stream something new on hulu

[00:13:56] hey everyone I'm Craig Robinson co-host of the ways to win podcast alongside my good friend John

[00:14:05] Calapari I've been on the go recently Phoenix Kansas City Chicago if you're like me and have a home

[00:14:12] but aren't always at home you have an Airbnb hosting your home or spare room is a very practical

[00:14:19] side hustle if you live in a big game town you can air B&B your place for fans to stay in your

[00:14:26] home might be worth more than you think find out how much at Airbnb dot com slash post

[00:14:37] story and this story comes from a deleted account and says I the asshole here forgetting

[00:14:43] uninvited from a wedding because I said it was doomed to fail I ran my mouth a bit when I had

[00:14:50] too much to drink at a dinner with my wife and our friends one of them is a bride's made in a

[00:14:55] wedding that we're all supposed to attend she told the bride and now I'm uninvited not my wife

[00:15:01] just me specifically the bride is my wife's friend so I was always just a plus one and she's not

[00:15:07] been a fan of mine for a while for a few weird reasons but the gist I've been told she thinks I'm

[00:15:12] a bad influence or something because I offer their fiance cocaine once or twice the reason I don't

[00:15:19] think I'm completely the asshole is because the marriage legitimately is doomed to fail the groom

[00:15:25] once told the bride that he doesn't like bigger women and the bride is definitely in that category

[00:15:31] also a family is paid for 100% of the very expensive wedding and his family have contributed 0%

[00:15:39] reddit so I did apologize to my wife which went kind of predictably badly but she did tell me

[00:15:45] another thing about the bride which might better illustrate my point about what she's like

[00:15:50] to one of the bridesmaids not the same one looked at the hairdresser person's page on instagram

[00:15:55] and thinks it's shit and doesn't want to use the person even though apparently the bill is like

[00:16:00] up to 10k just for all that shit alone and told the bride that she would get it done elsewhere and

[00:16:06] meet them bride then threatened to invite their bridesmaid from the wedding so I ain't that unique in

[00:16:11] this scenario lol now I can't see how you're not going to be the asshole in this situation I mean

[00:16:19] you got drunk you said that your friends wedding is doomed to fail and then you'll surprise

[00:16:24] that you're not invited to it you know you're not supportive of it in any way but you're surprised

[00:16:28] that you're not allowed to come to it and you're also shocked that you're a as you say in quotes bad

[00:16:34] influence or something because you offered the fiance drugs are you really that shocked the way she's

[00:16:40] looking at you right now I mean come on now but Judy muck judge and says wait so you offered the

[00:16:47] groom drugs a few times and got drunken ran your mouth about the couple but don't think you're the

[00:16:51] asshole oh honey you're the asshole you're a huge gaping asshole hope you responded same

[00:16:59] I would never have said that if I knew it to get back to them low that part wasn't at all intended

[00:17:04] Judy replies that saying that doesn't excuse your asshole behavior

[00:17:09] hope he says it wouldn't be an issue if she didn't tell the bride who doesn't occasionally say

[00:17:13] unfiltered shit sometimes like who wins by feeding back some random plus one's drunk opinion

[00:17:19] that's kind of shitty in my opinion not like I kind of admit I need to filter better which is fair

[00:17:24] and then says I meant that in the sense that I didn't attend to wouldn't want to hurt anyone's

[00:17:29] feelings over it the roleplay throwaway says in what way would telling someone a marriage is

[00:17:34] doomed to fail come off as anything but hurtful sounds like you just experienced consequences of your

[00:17:39] actions learn to keep stuff to yourself who he says hurtful to the actual couple which is why I

[00:17:46] wouldn't have said it if I thought it would get back to them which I didn't think when I said it

[00:17:50] but yes I take your point that it wasn't appropriate to say I've been told at length by now

[00:17:55] and that last comment from Opie had me thinking because in the first bit of the post they sort

[00:18:00] of say it's down to drunk a nurse and they slipped up etc etc but in that comment they said they

[00:18:06] wouldn't have said it if I thought it would get back to them which suggests that

[00:18:10] was suggest they knew what they was talking about at that particular time I mean either way

[00:18:15] it's coming down to fuck around and find out pretty much but you can only apologise and

[00:18:20] hope for the best but I can't see you attending this wedding Opie then comes in with an update and

[00:18:25] says I'm probably gonna immediately regret running my mouth again by posting this but to be honest

[00:18:30] I really don't know how I came off here and then links the post because I don't think of myself as

[00:18:34] a bad person but I kind of just had a realization that I'm fucking everything up so this is me trying

[00:18:40] to own it via stream of consciousness maybe just for myself if no one ever reads this

[00:18:46] this isn't an excuse just an explanation I have in your wife's friends openly

[00:18:52] loathe you is pretty intense and I know he shouldn't retaliate but it gets hard sometimes to

[00:18:56] constantly hear shit from apparently perfect people with perfect lives the wedding was on saturday

[00:19:02] and when my wife got home she came in looking for a fight and escalated since I wasn't fully on

[00:19:07] the level showed me a pic of the groom crying when the bride walked down the aisle and passive

[00:19:12] aggressively mentioned how I didn't during our wedding said it's hilarious but I would feel

[00:19:17] able to comment on her friend's weight before re-acquainting myself with the fucking peloton etc etc

[00:19:23] I remember them all but a series of below the belt shit so now I got to stay in a hotel for a few

[00:19:29] nights until she decides that she's ready to have a real conversation which I gather is possibly

[00:19:34] dire so yeah I fucked up worse than I thought maybe I don't really know how I'm gonna fix it

[00:19:41] edit so this is me apologising for being an asshole is the headline

[00:19:46] so my old griller asked the op before the account was deleted did you ever apologise to either the

[00:19:51] bride or your wife or are you just a good person who is misunderstood and everyone else is

[00:19:56] being mean overreacting they actually deserved it because they suck op says yeah I did but they're

[00:20:02] both obviously gonna want more than me just saying sorry which I get oh deary me but now I'm

[00:20:09] gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation i just a huge thank you

[00:20:15] from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories your love your support your time

[00:20:20] always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being involved truly it's

[00:20:24] absolutely amazing thank you thank you and don't forget at the very end there be a couple of

[00:20:28] playlist that you can click on we'll automatically scroll through all the videos for you so whatever

[00:20:33] you're up to doing a bit of crochet better running better garden and better trucking

[00:20:38] did it where i come from they will continue to play the videos for you i'll see you in the next one

[00:20:45] much love

[00:21:03] you

[00:21:15] tired of ads intruding into your favorite comedy podcasts good news ad free listening is

[00:21:20] available on amazon music for all the music plus top podcasts included with your prime

[00:21:25] membership dive into a world of laughs by downloading the amazon music app for free or go to amazon

[00:21:30] dot com slash comedy ad free that's amazon dot com slash comedy ad free to catch up on the latest

[00:21:36] episodes without the ads