I Accused My Fiance Of Cheating And It Backfired r/Relationships

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[00:00:56] My fiance and I have been in a relationship for the last six years, engaged for the last

[00:01:09] two years and we are about to get married in November 2024.

[00:01:13] Going to try and not make this long. On Monday, I woke up around 2am to go to the bathroom.

[00:01:20] As I walked past my fiance's side of the bed, his phone went off with a message. I

[00:01:25] got curious and looked. The message was from a girl called Angie. The message said it was

[00:01:31] good to see you again and I had a lot of fun, we should do it again sometime.

[00:01:36] I took his phone with me to the bathroom and read their chats, nothing sexual or even

[00:01:41] flirty but there was a bunch of conversations of meeting up at her place. What they did

[00:01:45] that day all the fun they were having. I remember yesterday that I wanted to do

[00:01:50] something with him but he couldn't as his sister was in town and they have arranged to

[00:01:55] meet and hang out for months now. He didn't invite me along but I didn't go, didn't

[00:02:00] want to take away from his time with his sister. My thoughts immediately went to him cheating

[00:02:06] on me and I started to bawl like a baby in the bathroom. My fiance came rushing into

[00:02:11] the bathroom to see what was going on. I was not as quiet as I thought I was

[00:02:14] in the end. When he came close to me and asked what was going on, I told him

[00:02:18] not to touch me. He looked hurt in that moment and took a step back. I gave him his

[00:02:23] phone and told him explain yourself through my tears. He took the phone, looked

[00:02:28] and laughed. Then I saw him laughing. I got up and stormed out locking myself in

[00:02:33] the spare bedroom. He came to the bedroom and through the door said he was

[00:02:38] sorry for laughing and tried to explain himself. Before he said anything

[00:02:42] else I told him to leave. He then left to our bedroom. That morning before

[00:02:46] he woke up I grabbed some of my things and came to my sister's house. I've been

[00:02:51] here since Tuesday morning too afraid to go home. He sent me a message that

[00:02:55] morning saying he heard and saw me leave but didn't want to stop me because

[00:02:59] of what happened the night before. Again he said he's sorry for laughing but

[00:03:03] the situation was just ridiculous in the moment and his tired brain responded

[00:03:07] with laughter. I sent back some hurtful things and that he is a cheater.

[00:03:12] He responded with, Angie is a nickname for my sister Angelina. He told me to confirm

[00:03:18] with his sisters if I didn't believe him and told me to check Facebook and Insta if

[00:03:22] I need proof because pictures were posted of their meetup yesterday. He didn't say

[00:03:27] anything to the hurtful thing I said to him or anything but told me the house is open

[00:03:32] for me to come back anytime I like and when I do we will have a serious

[00:03:35] conversation about what happened and what will happen going forward. I'm scared to go home

[00:03:41] because I feel like he'll be breaking up with me and I don't want that. How can I handle this?

[00:03:47] I know I was wrong for the way I acted. I acted like a child. I overreacted. How can I fix this?

[00:03:54] What can I do now? And there was a conversation string after this one about

[00:04:01] and questioning OP and it is one of the questions I had so chicken loop says

[00:04:05] how did you not put Angie and Angelina together as the sister of the man you

[00:04:10] were supposedly marrying especially when he told you he was meeting his sister and invited you to go.

[00:04:16] Sorry sis but this is your own damn idiotic fault. Shake my head. Edit especially since you all have

[00:04:23] been together for six years. You mean in that time you'd never heard her called Angie.

[00:04:28] Cute somewhere says even if you hadn't heard him call her Angie before you knew that his

[00:04:33] sister's name was Angelina which is obviously very similar and she was in town and he'd been hanging

[00:04:40] out with her and you immediately jumped to assuming he was cheating. I'm sorry but this is an absolutely

[00:04:45] buck wild reaction. If he doesn't break up with you you need to get yourself into therapy ASAP

[00:04:51] and figure out where this knee jerk reaction came from. In fact you really should do that

[00:04:56] either way because this level of trust issue in an otherwise stable six year relationship

[00:05:01] is not normal unless you're leaving out something huge like past infidelity.

[00:05:07] OP responds saying nothing like that at all. He's always been loving and never hit anything from me.

[00:05:13] We know the password to every device each other owns. City girl sunflower says to OP I hate to

[00:05:19] be the arsehole but I'm curious as to why cheating was the first thing you went to.

[00:05:23] If he's never given you a reason to believe he's cheating and when he was especially clear

[00:05:27] about what and who he was going to see. I can't help but feel that there's some projection or guilt on

[00:05:32] your end. I don't know it just seems insane to me that's where your mind went to and that's how you

[00:05:38] reacted. OP says I was cheated on before by my previous boyfriend. We found out in an almost

[00:05:44] similar way. So OP added a brief edit to their post and says before someone asked have I heard

[00:05:50] him referring to his sister as Angie in the past but my brain didn't put it together that

[00:05:54] night. I've been at my sister's house since Tuesday morning too afraid to go home and the

[00:05:59] only text I have gotten from him so far is him asking if I'm okay and a good night text.

[00:06:05] When I try to talk over the phone he says he will talk when you are home. He won't be doing it

[00:06:10] over a phone. The conversation had to be face-to-face. So sometime after that OP comes in with

[00:06:18] their own update and says I don't know what to do now. My fiance left me. This morning I

[00:06:23] got ready to go home. Before I left I had a final conversation with my sister and she basically

[00:06:28] said the same as all of you. During our conversation the doorbell rung and my sister went to have

[00:06:34] a look who is here so early on a Sunday. My fiance walked in and I was actually excited to

[00:06:40] see him. I went in to hug him but he pushed me away. I felt hurt in that moment and he asked

[00:06:46] to speak to me in private. We went out to the guest room where I was staying. I'm not going

[00:06:51] to say everything we discussed on here but the shore to the story is. He found it very childish of me

[00:06:57] to run out of the house without talking to him. He said he could have forgiven all of that because

[00:07:02] of a misunderstanding happened. But what he can't forgive is the way I acted and ignored him and

[00:07:07] hid from him the last week. My insecurities all throughout these years have taken a toll on

[00:07:12] him and he has done. The fact that a conversation with his sister caused me to do all of this

[00:07:17] made him see me in a different light. I did try and explain and he laughed at me saying my reasoning

[00:07:23] is bullshit as not just he but the whole family refers to his sister as Angie and I know that.

[00:07:29] He even brought up instances where I call her Angie myself. I tried to tell him that when I saw

[00:07:35] the text messages my mind just went blank and he responded with stop making excuses I'm done

[00:07:41] with this. He then said it's better to break up because he doesn't see this relationship

[00:07:45] going any further. I showed him all my stuff was packed and that I wanted to go home today.

[00:07:50] He just responded too little, too late. He said it as if it was in the movie with no emotion on his

[00:07:56] face. When he looked at me all I saw on his face for some reason is pity for me. He said he would

[00:08:02] be canceling everything and all the money that I have spent on the wedding so far will be

[00:08:06] in my account as soon as he gets the refund. Before he left he just said I hope you'll

[00:08:12] find someone that will be able to handle your childishness and insecurities but that won't be me.

[00:08:17] Ouch. He brought all my things to my sister's house. Into of his friends unloaded everything

[00:08:22] on my sister's lawn and left. What do I do now? I haven't been able to eat the whole day and

[00:08:28] just keep crying. How can I fix this? I was wrong I know but it's not fair that he will dump

[00:08:34] me because of this. There was a couple more comments with replies from OP on this one.

[00:08:40] Render 636 as info. Did you want him to cheat? Why were you so sure he was cheating when you

[00:08:46] literally know his sister's name is Angie? It sounds like you're almost looking for an out.

[00:08:52] Just break up with him, he deserves better. ETA saw your update. Good on him.

[00:08:57] What the fuck do you mean it's not fair that he dumped you? Understand what he's saying

[00:09:01] when he said you're childish. You literally sound like a toddler stomping your feet and

[00:09:05] saying it's not fair. It's absolutely fair. You disrespected him and your relationship by accusing

[00:09:11] him of infidelity. Not letting him explain the extremely rational explanation, then hiding at

[00:09:16] your sister's house for an entire week just to not face the consequences of your actions.

[00:09:22] You need real psychological help if you were cheated on over half a decade ago

[00:09:26] to still use it as an excuse to be controlling, manipulative, jealous and childish.

[00:09:32] Have you learned from this experience and get the help you so obviously need?

[00:09:36] OP says I wasn't. I've been cheated on before and my mind just went there.

[00:09:41] DatGowieMalcom says to OP, I bet you weren't cheated on by this guy, who you've been with for six years.

[00:09:47] Trust goes both ways. Be hopeful that he is looking to work this out because you need to work on

[00:09:52] yourself. I'd have dumped you if this is a rear current theme. OP says he dumped me this

[00:09:58] morning and no, I've never thought you would cheat on me. It's just when I saw the text, my mind went blank.

[00:10:05] Now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let

[00:10:11] me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

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[00:11:28] mobile.com. Now this one has a couple of updates to it and it's titled my dad is pretending I'm

[00:11:35] not getting married. So my dad has always been a very show off person announcements about

[00:11:41] grades telling everyone how great his daughters are doing telling off my sister for having

[00:11:46] a younger job. He can't show off when he divorced from my mom. He was a good parent for a while.

[00:11:52] And then he met Eva Eva is way younger and had a lot of work done and used to send him

[00:11:58] flirty messages when he was still married. They got married very early on in the relationship

[00:12:03] because they've known each other for ages. She told him not to text us too much because

[00:12:09] we are adults. She checks his phone all the time. She forbade him from seeing us Christmas

[00:12:14] or since Stevens Day because he needed to be with his new family and it would have been disrespectful

[00:12:20] to her for him to see his ex wife and she's overall been an absolute nightmare. And he follows

[00:12:27] everything she tells him to do. Now I'm getting married and told my dad he's invited but she's

[00:12:34] not. I've met the woman once and I don't like her plus I know my father isn't a great person.

[00:12:40] They'd be making jabs at my mom about being older than Eva etc.

[00:12:45] To make it fair my mom's boyfriend is also not invited although he's a sweetheart. My dad's

[00:12:50] answer to my invite has been to pretend nothing is happening. I sent him a save the date and he

[00:12:55] sent me a thumbs up emoji. He hasn't asked me one question about the wedding not even the venue

[00:13:02] even though he told me shortly before meeting Eva that he was looking forward to me and my sister

[00:13:06] getting married and how excited he was. Myself and my fiance had different religions and cultures so

[00:13:13] everyone's had lots of questions about how we're handling that. Turns out that he hasn't told Eva

[00:13:19] I'm getting married. He hasn't told anyone else so he's just planning to say he has a work trip

[00:13:24] and come to the wedding. I don't actually think he's going to show up. I think he will say

[00:13:28] he's going to and then not show up at the last minute but my sister thinks he'll show up with

[00:13:33] her and make a whole scene because he told her Eva has just as much right to be there as your mom.

[00:13:39] Anyone else dealt with something similar? Do I need a backup to walk me down the aisle?

[00:13:46] So, Salis Spyro comes into this one and says I just want to point out that your dad is in an

[00:13:51] abusive relationship. His new wife is cutting them off from his family, his support system

[00:13:57] so she can have more control over him. He probably won't be allowed to go to the wedding

[00:14:01] because she's not invited and probably wouldn't have been allowed to even if she was. Your dad is

[00:14:07] an ass all on his own but I think it's important to recognize that he's still capable of being abused

[00:14:13] and that it's happening. Opie says yes, they both suck. He's always been a cheater. At least three

[00:14:20] are the women during the span of 10 years that we have evidence of and I think no evidence

[00:14:25] he was cheating on my mom with her so that's why she's constantly monitoring his phone and

[00:14:30] not allowing him to leave the house. We told him not to marry her and that our behaviour is very

[00:14:35] concerning but he seems very blind. Grumpy Smiler says it sounds like he wants to come and he knows

[00:14:42] the only way him coming without his wife is possible is if he lies about it. He's risking getting

[00:14:47] caught to be able to go, which speaks volumes about their relationship but if she checks his

[00:14:53] phone you're causing further risk of her finding out if you keep messaging him about the wedding.

[00:14:58] Stick to the phone call so there's no record. I hope you can make it and there's no drama.

[00:15:04] Opie says I rang him the first time to tell him I was getting married and then sent him to save

[00:15:08] the date the second time asking if he was coming. I didn't know that he hadn't told her at the

[00:15:13] time. I have no idea why the wife wouldn't let him go to his daughter's wedding though

[00:15:17] if she's as amazing as he says. And people were questioning why the boyfriend's mum

[00:15:23] isn't invited. Nopie says far more drama if I include him and exclude Eva. It's not worth the headache.

[00:15:30] He will for sure not show up if I invite my mum's boyfriend and not his wife.

[00:15:35] My mum understands that even though my dad is not the best dad ever, I still want him there.

[00:15:40] They aren't together that long so she's okay with her boyfriend staying at home.

[00:15:44] Thus then he can stay with the dogs and she doesn't have to worry about getting a dog sitter.

[00:15:49] Most of the family is going as well so there's nobody to look after them.

[00:15:53] The OP comes in with her first update and says so it turns out my dad ended up telling Eva about

[00:15:58] my wedding and telling her that she was invited to the wedding to avoid problems. She got herself

[00:16:04] addressed booked a hotel etc. My dad tried to convince me to invite her but his biggest selling

[00:16:10] point was that he thought it'd be an amazing time to introduce Eva to my mum and my mum's whole

[00:16:16] family. Why would he think my mum would want to meet this woman is beyond me? And that

[00:16:21] she would feel excluded otherwise. He always rubs it in our faces his new family, even calling it

[00:16:27] his new family. He keeps cancelling every dinner he sets up with my sister due to some emergency

[00:16:33] involving Eva or tells us to call Eva mum. Both me and my sister are way beyond the point of

[00:16:39] calling some random mum since we both moved out and he's being ridiculous. He called me again

[00:16:45] and again trying to convince me and I said no. Explaining that I only knew the reason he

[00:16:50] wanted to bring his wife to the wedding was too upset mum and that I wasn't going to let the two

[00:16:55] of them do that. He makes jabs at my mum every time he's around her about how great his new wife

[00:17:00] is. I thought the whole thing was over until I sent him some information about the wedding

[00:17:05] and I guess he started feeling guilty and told us that he booked the flight for Eva as well

[00:17:10] and he booked himself on the same flight as my mum. Changed his whole flight plans just so

[00:17:15] he could be on the flight with her so that my mum and Eva could still meet aka he could still

[00:17:21] rub his new wife in her face and try and screw with my mum's head by putting her down and making

[00:17:26] comparisons. And then Eva would just go off and shop while he was at the ceremony. I'm not

[00:17:32] sure if this is true or he was going to try and bring her to the wedding and hope that she

[00:17:36] didn't get kicked out. I'm trying to convince my mum to change her flight so he can't get inside

[00:17:41] her head 12 hours before the wedding. I don't know if I should uninvite him.

[00:17:46] So a commenter asks OP they said oh my god yes what has your mum done that you'd facilitate

[00:17:52] hurting her? Why does he know so many details are your mum's travel plans? OP says she is the

[00:17:58] main reason I haven't uninvited him yet. She keeps saying I need to have a relationship with

[00:18:02] him and being more understanding. He knows because he asked and we figured he was trying

[00:18:08] to avoid being on the same flight as her. So OP adds their latest update which was

[00:18:14] after the wedding has happened and says wedding has happened it just took a bit of time to update

[00:18:19] because it's my life and it all went south and was too raw to try and write it in a coherent way.

[00:18:24] It still probably won't be super coherent. Summary TLDR from previous posts. My dad was

[00:18:30] acting weird around the wedding. Turns out he told his new wife she was invited when

[00:18:35] she was not. When he got close to the wedding and I told him to tell her he got his wife a flight

[00:18:40] with him so she wouldn't feel left out and then purposely chose to be on the same flight as

[00:18:45] my mum so that my mum and his new wife could meet. He has an addictive streak so we knew he was

[00:18:51] trying to upset my mum. Okay so update. I asked him to change his flight because he

[00:18:57] had specifically asked me what flight my mum was on so he can avoid her. He had said

[00:19:02] my mum was flying with my grandpa so it would have been quite hard to change their flights to

[00:19:06] avoid him. My dad told me he changed flight and that he'd invent some lie to tell Eva.

[00:19:13] He also said I was a horrible person for not believing him when he told me that he had not

[00:19:17] booked the flight out of spite. When he told my mum he booked the flight on purpose so that

[00:19:22] she could meet his new wife. What reason would there be for wanting them to meet other than

[00:19:27] to be an asshole? I thought the whole thing was resolved and my mum was really adamant that she

[00:19:33] wanted my dad to be there because I don't have a great relationship with him and she knew it would

[00:19:38] have meant the end of the relationship if I uninvited him. Fast forward two days after the

[00:19:44] conversation. My dad rebooked his flight and sent me a message to say he had changed flights

[00:19:49] then that evening he called me. I answered the phone and I could hear someone screaming down

[00:19:55] the phone. Turns out Eva got her hands on my dad's phone, read the messages while I asked him to

[00:20:00] reschedule the flight and she rang me shouting down the phone that I am unhinged, I'm a horrible

[00:20:06] person, I am effed in the head. She said that I am so weird because I'm in my 30s and I still

[00:20:12] talked to my parents. This one was really weird because I meant to stop at a certain age

[00:20:18] and that I'm jealous of the fact that my dad has a new life. I was very calm and said

[00:20:22] that I'm sorry she's upset. Other issues around the wedding aren't really related to her directly

[00:20:27] and that my dad was trying to upset my mum. I also said my mum's partner is not coming either

[00:20:33] so it wouldn't be fair to have her there. She started shouting that my mum was a fat old cow

[00:20:39] and I lost it, I absolutely lost it. In this whole thing my mum has said nothing bad about Eva.

[00:20:46] I told her I never had an issue with her until now but that she's a crazy bitch who is

[00:20:51] super controlling and that was so glad I never invited her. Then I hung up because by that stage

[00:20:57] it had been two minutes of her shouting at me and I didn't feel like there was any point in talking

[00:21:01] any longer. The whole time this was going on my dad was in the background saying feebly

[00:21:06] oh no don't be mad at her while she was shouting down the phone at me. Anyway next day my dad

[00:21:13] calls me and says that Eva was upset because he didn't tell her about changing the flight

[00:21:18] and that I was awful at responding to her like that. He also said do you really think this is my

[00:21:24] fault? I said yes and he said do you really refuse to take any responsibility? None of this would

[00:21:30] have happened if you had invited her like I asked you to. I said does he actually think he has

[00:21:34] any say in my wedding when he didn't even ask me what type of ceremony I had. Never asked

[00:21:39] to see my dress or get involved in any way, monetary or otherwise. He asked me if he

[00:21:45] was still invited and I said obviously not. He then told me to be careful when I wrote in my

[00:21:50] messages to him because she was monitoring his phone. I said I'm not speaking to him again so

[00:21:56] that won't be a problem. The wedding was good, my mum walked me down the aisle and there was

[00:22:01] nobody there to cause drama so in the end it all worked out for the best. A whole thing was just

[00:22:06] a lot more dramatic than I originally thought it would be. We thought he might end up not coming

[00:22:12] because he was too entangled in his lies but for sure did not expect the call I got.

[00:22:17] It was very close to the wedding when all the drama happened. There were some varying comments on this

[00:22:22] when a lot of people saying you know this is karma for him, other people saying you know he's in

[00:22:28] an abusive relationship but that's not OP's issue at the same time only he can get himself

[00:22:33] out of that and it was kind of a mix between those two kind of comments but what do you

[00:22:38] guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:44] Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories,

[00:22:47] your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you

[00:22:52] so so much for being involved and hopefully I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.

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