Husband Left Our Young Children Home Alone And REFUSES To Explain Why r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hallo, ich bin Carola Hoffmeister von Entspannung wirkt, einem Podcast, der Dir hilft, zur Ruhe zu kommen und einzuschlafen. Und zwar mit magischen Traumreisen und fundierten Hypnosen. Außerdem findest Du auf Entspannung wirkt inspirierende Gespräche rund um die Themen Gesundheit und Schlaf. Vollgepackt mit praktischen Tipps auch für Deinen Alltag. Bist Du dabei? Dann kommt zur Entspannung wirkt, ich helfe Dir zur Ruhe zu kommen und einzuschlafen.

[00:00:58] Es sagt, Mein Hussband left our 5-year-old and 9-month-old home alone and refuses to explain why. Mein Hussband ist 43 und ich 31. Wir haben seit 7 Jahren und haben 5-year-old und 9-month-old. Mein Hussband left our children alone und er hat mich nicht zu sagen, oder sagen wo er war. Ich bin furcht, erraged und mein Hussband keeps sagen, ich mache ein big deal über nichts.

[00:01:24] Ich habe das einfach nicht getan, das ist. Ich habe das Wort für eine localer, non-profit organisation. Ich hatte einen event für das Organisation das letzte Mal, und ich war gut für die Zeit. Mein Hussband war supposed to be home mit unseren Kindern. Ich texte ihn ein paar Mal und er respondte. Wenn ich mich um midday, er hat mich nicht zu sagen, aber das ist nicht sehr unbekannt. Shortly nach dem, ich habe ein call von meinem Mutter.

[00:01:49] she said my son had just called her and when she asked him what he and his sister was doing he said they were both watching tv when she asked where their dad was he said his dad wasn't there my mom asked him several other questions and from my son's responses she believed he was telling the truth and that my husband wasn't there and that there was no adult there at all she said he didn't seem scared to be alone or worries about where his dad was at he just called her to chat

[00:02:16] he has a tablet designed for children with pre-programmed contacts that he can call it's only a few people just family members i left the event immediately i began texting and calling my husband repeatedly he didn't respond to my first several attempts it took him about 10 minutes i was halfway home at that point to respond i was so confused so worried really mad and i asked him

[00:02:41] where he was he said he was at home i told him our son had just told his grandmother that he was home alone with his baby sister watching tv 15 minutes ago my husband denied it and i told him i was too upset to talk and drive when i got home i checked on the kids right away and they were both fine i asked my husband again where was he he said he was home the entire time he doesn't know what our son was talking about but he must be just confused since he had gone to the basement to do some laundry

[00:03:10] i ran down to the basement it was the same load of laundry i'd thrown in the dryer the night before he didn't do any laundry when i was gone i asked my husband why my son would be confused about whether his dad was home or not where in our home would he have gone and for how long for our son to think his dad wasn't home that doesn't make sense with a five-year-old and nine-month-old he wouldn't leave them unattended that long why was he nowhere to be found when mom asked my son to go check certain

[00:03:38] areas of the house i begged my husband to just admit it to stop treating me like an idiot and to stop accusing our son of lying just tell me the truth because being lied to right to my face is so incredibly maddening he insists he was home but he can't come up with any believable story of where he was at or what he was doing during that time the way he answers me when i ask him about this and demand truthful answers is so dismissive when i tell him you left our children alone he quickly

[00:04:07] says no i didn't so anyway he says i'm overreacting and letting our son's imagination drive me crazy i'm convinced he was gone we didn't have a ring camera but at least one of our neighbors does i'm so upset about this that i'm tempted to ask our neighbor for the ring footage i had to go out to my car and scream and cry because i got so upset of course i didn't want my kids to see my reaction i can't put into words how upset i am about the fact

[00:04:35] that i know he must have really left them alone but have no proof and i'm being treated like i'm just a paranoid nutcase of a mother slash woman by him so the top commenter says to op which is called obvious miscreant says when my now ex did this it was drugs i didn't know about it he told me months later when i found out that he often left at night and put the kids in the living room together so if the house burned down at least they'd be together

[00:05:03] my youngest was under a year the oldest was five don't stop asking questions op replied to that saying this gives me chills commercial loss says i haven't seen it anywhere but will admit i haven't looked super deeply so i'll add this to you this is not the first time your husband has left your children alone your son's reaction to grandma is proof enough of that he was calm completely unbothered by the fact that he and the baby were alone he would not react like that the first time

[00:05:33] eat shit bish says as someone who was constantly left alone with a younger brother at such a young age he was so right oh what is going on here those comments are like op said especially that first comment gave me absolute chills like op and again like some of them saying that the kid's so chilled about it i can't believe that this is the first time that he's done this and the absolute denial

[00:06:00] afterwards trying to make op question her own sanity and the five-year-old's reliability and i'm really hoping that op does get that ring footage from the neighbor i mean yeah confirm that he's gone and at least there's proof of that so he can't keep denying it over and over i mean he probably still will but op came into the post sometime later and said last weekend my husband left our five-year-old and nine-month-old home alone while i was gone and then refused to admit it or

[00:06:26] provide a plausible explanation since then we had many arguments about it i've been living in a constant state of anger and frustration i didn't want to fight about it anymore but i couldn't help it and i kept bringing it up again and again i couldn't lay low and pretend to get over it while i waited for him to do it again and catch him in whatever was going on i also knew that demanding he tell me the truth wasn't going to get me anywhere since he'd been refusing to talk and deflecting for days

[00:06:56] all it was doing was making me enraged and feel like i was about to have a brain aneurysm i told him to hand me his phone so i could check his location at the time he refused he said he wouldn't do it and that it was a violation of his privacy he won't be treated that way and refuses to give in to my delusions you think i enjoy being in a situation where i have to beg my husband to show me his phone so i can see where he was at i hate it i don't want to live that way i told him it's

[00:07:24] simple if he really was at home the entire time just prove it why wouldn't he want to clear this whole thing up i got so mad that he wouldn't turn over his phone that i told him i was going to the neighbors to get their doorbell footage at first he was like fine go do it he didn't think i actually would he knows i don't like to air drama to others so he probably figured i'd just swallow all of this crap that he's been giving me luckily i was totally being driven by anger at this point so nothing was

[00:07:52] going to stop me from going to the neighbors when i actually started to go out the door he tried to stop me and followed me out the door i felt pure anger rushing through my veins nothing else the neighbor i've probably said less than 10 words to in the entire time we've lived here told me he'd send me the footage i went home told my husband that the neighbor didn't have the footage from that day anymore and told him i just needed to go to the store and cool off so i put the kids in the car and

[00:08:20] went and parked somewhere while i waited for the neighbor to send me the footage i have the neighbor's number now too and he told me if i need any more footage he'll be happy to give it to me the video shows a blue car that i don't recognize show up and park in our driveway a blonde woman gets out of the car and goes towards my house she walks on the outside of our garage towards the gate leading to our backyard the gate is too far back and out of the way to be seen by the doorbell footage

[00:08:48] she and her car was there for 23 minutes imagine that the car leaves right around the time that my husband called me to say he was home and had been home the entire time as i was rushing home in a panic calling him on repeat one of two possibilities as to where they went she either came in through the side door of the house which does provide direct access to the basement or and what i think is more likely is that they were in the back most area of our yard which is a gated pool area immediately

[00:09:17] behind our house is a grass lawn you step down a few steps and we have a patio and there is a fully gated area where the pool is it's not like you think of when you picture a gated pool it's a full six foot wood fence all the way around plus even taller landscaping for added privacy you can't see into the area at all unless you're inside i think it's more likely that they were back there because my son said his dad's keys were gone and we keep that gate locked with a key the pool is closed for the winter but

[00:09:47] there is one small building back there sort of like a shed we converted into a changing area and there is a covered patio with furniture i'm convinced that's where they were so technically he was home but in an area totally removed from the house and where he couldn't see or hear the kids if something happened i asked him how he could explain this what were they doing i obviously don't need him to tell me what they were doing but for some reason i still had hope that he'd finally

[00:10:14] be honest he wasn't contrite he showed no remorse he was just like yeah she was here but i obviously never left who is she how long has this been going on and if he's going to be such a disgusting despicable excuse of a man then why can he at least found any other time and any other liar excuse other than he was home alone with our kids i told him i know this has happened before and i demanded to

[00:10:39] know how many times he's done this when he's been home alone with the kids he swears this is the only time but he still doesn't have the balls to confess to what they were doing i didn't believe him that this was the only time for your information i still have so many questions and i still feel like my heart is beating 200 times a minute my blood pressure is through the roof i've cried a lot sobbed begged for somebody to help me yelled screamed ordered a bunch of books about divorce and custody and you know

[00:11:07] what the next day after our multiple explosive fights him putting his hands on me and me seeing the evidence he acted like everything was totally normal and like none of that stuff ever happened i woke up still seething exhausted broken and he's acting like everything is totally normal he said he was ordering breakfast to be delivered from our favorite breakfast place he asked if i wanted to go to the store together later and try this new recipe for chili tonight

[00:11:34] what why would i want to do any of these things with you right now absolutely no acknowledgement of anything he's done or what's transpired between us in the past few days he deserved an oscar for how well he was able to act like none of that have happened completely comfortable and non-phased i know that it's a waste of my energy but i just desperately want him to admit the full truth of what he did that day and any other day with this woman i want to hear it from him it won't change whatever he's done

[00:12:03] but he could at least have the respect and decency to be honest now that he's been caught that's a ridiculous thought though right how foolish of me to expect this man to show decency and honesty now if he was a decent and honest man then he wouldn't have had this strange woman over to our house and been out of our sight from our kids for 23 minutes his continued denial and refusal to admit to anything other than the bare minimum his attitude like somehow being controlling or infringing on his rights

[00:12:30] by asking for information that's almost more hurtful than him cheating on me hallo ich bin carola hoffmeister von entspannung wirkt einem podcast der dir hilft zur ruhe zu kommen und einzuschlafen und zwar mit magischen traumreisen und fundierten hypnosen außerdem findest du auf entspannung wirkt inspirierende gespräche rund um die themen gesundheit und schlaf vollgepackt mit

[00:12:57] praktischen tipps auch für deinen alltag bist du dabei dann kommt zur entspannung wirkt ich helfe dir zur ruhe zu kommen und einzuschlafen commenter says to op op he has not been honest and won't be honest even if he is what would that give you could you even believe it op you know what he was doing you don't need him to spell it out for you put yourself in your children first op says at the

[00:13:27] end of the day him admitting to what he's done wouldn't really change anything it certainly won't change anything he's done it won't make it better and i probably still won't believe i was getting the full truth yet i can't stop seething over the fact that he's refusing to give me any info that commenter replies to op and says because he's hoping that if he doesn't admit to it there is a chance you stay with him he cheated he endangered your children is selfish and the final

[00:13:54] comment from trippy hippie who says i'm so sorry you're going through this unfortunately you won't get anything from him if i were you i'd channel the anger into a plan to take your kids and leave he will never say he left his kids in a dangerous situation to cheat on you you know it's what happened he knows it's what happened and it will continue make no mistake there were some people suggesting on the back of this one that you know the neighbor was more than willing to help because

[00:14:21] the neighbor could see what was going on and it's just the total lack of remorse after this one like the next day just getting breakfast in trying to sweep everything under the rug like it's just going to go away knowing he left a five-year-old with a nine-month-old alone like that oh man it's it's wild what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:14:48] and let's move on to another story now our next story comes from the am i the arsehole here subreddit from buttertime alt who says am i the arsehole here for humiliating my neighbor's kids by having them help me fix a window they broke using a throwaway because i want to my girlfriend 25 female and i 25 male have been dating for about seven months i moved into this house around six months ago because

[00:15:15] it was closer to my family and friends than my previous place it's a little farther from work but i mostly work from home so it wasn't a big deal about a week ago i was doing dishes in the kitchen when i suddenly heard glass shattering from the garage when i went to check i found broken glass all over the floor one of the windows not the door had been broken from the outside i didn't see anyone but while cleaning up i found a football that wasn't mine i recognized it as one of my neighbors

[00:15:44] had seen their kids playing with it in the front yard before later that night my girlfriend noticed the broken window when she came over for dinner she doesn't live with me though i have asked her a few times i mentioned that one of the neighbor's kids must have accidentally broke it while playing football and that i returned the ball to them the next day i wasn't angry about it it's just a window but my girlfriend seemed annoyed and called the kids rude and disrespectful for not apologizing the next day

[00:16:12] i went out to get supply since it gets cold where i live and i wanted the window fixed sooner rather than later when i got back i grabbed the ball and knocked on my neighbor's door the mom answered and after i explained what had happened she had her three boys come and apologize she offered to pay for the damage but i declined instead i asked for one thing that the boys helped me fix the window i thought it was a good lesson when i was a kid i used to ride my bike through an elderly lady's flower garden as a shortcut

[00:16:41] one day she caught me instead of punishing me she asked me to help her replant it so i spent a few afternoons after school helping her and that experience really stuck with me i figured this was a similar opportunity for these kids my neighbor agreed so i showed the boys how to fix the window at first it was a little awkward but they warmed up to it and actually did a great job about 30 minutes

[00:17:07] in my girlfriend pulled into the driveway she gave me and the boys a weird look but went inside without saying anything after we finished i thanked the kids sent them home and went inside my girlfriend immediately asked why i had them help i told her i thought it was a good way for them to learn from their mistake just like i had when i was younger but she said i had humiliated them i explained that i wasn't trying to shame them i wasn't angry didn't make a scene and even turned down their mom's offer

[00:17:35] to pay i just thought it was a good way to teach them responsibility she still thinks i was in the wrong i don't think i am but i also don't want to go around awkwardly asking my neighbor's kids if they felt humiliated so am i the arsehole here absolutely not the arsehole that girlfriend is completely missing the point about this interaction he didn't humiliate these kids he gave them a valuable lesson in taking responsibility and learning from mistakes he didn't yell at them he didn't

[00:18:03] demand payment or make them feel ashamed he taught them a practical skill which like when i was younger i would have loved to have learned something like that at the same time and showed them how to make things right when they mess up but not a cranky panda says to a p no but you need a better girlfriend fire or water kai says not the arsehole you taught the kids something worthwhile and how to properly apologize and a skill without being nasty about it truthfully the best way this situation could go

[00:18:32] your girlfriend was either humiliated as a kid and is taken out on you or something but she's completely off base thick hips tight lips says not the arsehole way to teach those kids actions have consequences and how to fix what they've broken i'm sure they'd rather help than be yelled at or taken to court for damages your girlfriend however what's her issue they're rude and disrespectful for not apologizing but you humiliated them by having them fix your window as an apology slash punishment

[00:19:01] the fuck i'd almost bet she doesn't take accountability for stuff she's done in the past and one more from mildly skeptical who says you are not your girlfriend however isn't quite and i'm having a hard time coming up with the words appreciative that works enough of how you handle the situation by having them help fix what they broke you taught them that instead of running and hiding when an accident happens it's better to fess up and fix it if you can it's called being

[00:19:28] accountable for your actions and facing the consequences you did the opposite of humiliate them and your girlfriend doesn't see this what are her consequences so op comes in with our update and says thanks to everyone who commented on my first post a lot of good questions were brought up and i talked with my girlfriend over dinner last night here's what happened for context we are both white my mom married my stepdad when i was two and he's black i was raised in a predominantly black

[00:19:55] neighborhood and the one i live in now is the same way the three boys who helped me fix the window are also black my girlfriend isn't originally from the state she moved here for school and in her own words just never left during dinner i asked her again why she thought i humiliated the kids after a bit of back and forth she said something along the lines of you looked like a slave owner hearing that was honestly shocking that thought had never crossed my mind until she said it

[00:20:23] i didn't mention race in my original post because i didn't think it mattered but now i'm wondering if more people would have suggested that if i had i asked so you see a white man and three black kids fixing a window and your first thought is slavery i could tell i struck a nerve because she left after dinner without saying much that whole night i kept thinking about her our relationship and what this meant is this why she never really wanted to move in with me if we had kids how would she treat kids of

[00:20:52] different races how would she treat my stepdad's side of the family i asked her to breakfast this morning and broke up with her i told her straight up i can't be with someone whose first thought when seeing a white guy and a black guy together is slavery it sucks that this is something i'll have to consider when dating in the future the idea of is this person racist was never something i really thought about before but now i feel like i have to i really hope my neighbors don't think i had bad

[00:21:20] intentions i don't think they do but i'm definitely not about to bring it up and make things weird anyway kind of a weird update but thanks to everyone who commented and told me i made a difference in those boys lives that really meant a lot to me now i'm gonna go and read some hellboy or something and the comments after this one were pretty much unanimously bullet dodged but now i'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts

[00:21:48] down in the comments below and just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully i'll see you in the next one take care and much love

[00:22:30] hello i'm carola hoffmeister von entspannung wirkt einem podcast der dir hilft zur ruhe zu kommen und einzuschlafen und zwar mit magischen traumreisen und fundierten hypnosen außerdem findest du auf entspannung wirkt inspirierende gespräche rund um die themen gesundheit und schlaf vollgepackt mit praktischen tipps auch für deinen alltag bist du dabei dann kommt zur entspannung wirkt ich helfe dir zur

[00:22:58] ruhe zu kommen und einzuschlafen und einzuschlafen