Husband Attended A Bowling Tournament & Shared A Room With A Random Woman r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

[00:00:08] And if you do love a Reddit story why not consider and I'll like subscribe maybe that notification bell too

[00:00:14] Unless crack on with today's first story much love guys

[00:00:18] Now our first story comes from valuable channel 522 from the M.I.TheArts All Here subreddit

[00:00:24] It says I'm I The Arts All Here for being upset my husband shared a hotel room with another woman

[00:00:30] My 36 female husband 42 male is currently in Las Vegas for a national bowling tournament

[00:00:37] He is there with his mom and her friends and folks from their bowling league. He's an avid bowler

[00:00:43] Bowls in a Tuesday night league often in state tournaments and sometimes in national tournaments

[00:00:48] Typically I go with and sometimes bowl myself

[00:00:51] This year we decided I would not go but stay at home with our three boys ages 4

[00:00:57] 8 10

[00:00:58] Due to heat and smoke in Vegas in July my husband and I have been married for 11 years

[00:01:04] This is his second marriage

[00:01:06] His first marriage failed because he walked on and his wife cheating on him with another man

[00:01:11] I've never not once thought that he would ever be intimate with another woman while he was with me

[00:01:17] He's just not that type though on this trip

[00:01:20] Typically when he goes on a trip without me at least once a year given my job and time off requirements

[00:01:26] He stays in a hotel room with his mom or our boys

[00:01:29] Three nights ago. I was on FaceTime with him while he was in this hotel room

[00:01:33] It was really nice and he was talking about possibly taking a nap for lack of sleep

[00:01:38] They asked if he had the room to himself because that would have been awesome

[00:01:42] And he said oh no person is sharing with me. I asked him who that was and he said something

[00:01:48] I don't remember aside from she I

[00:01:52] Said wait what?

[00:01:54] Then he went on to explain that he was supposed to share the room with his mom's boyfriend

[00:01:58] But plans changed and now he's sharing the room with another woman on the trip

[00:02:02] He told me that I played cornhole with her last month that I get together

[00:02:06] I reminded him who I had played cornhole with him and a girl but not one with the name

[00:02:12] He was giving me had no idea who this woman is at which point he got very confused

[00:02:18] He did not understand why I was upset or frustrated

[00:02:21] So I dropped it because I did not want to deter from his time and his bowling

[00:02:25] I know I should have asked how he would have felt if the roles were reversed, but I didn't

[00:02:30] Partly because I didn't want to fight we hardly ever fight

[00:02:34] While the kids were up and partly because I didn't want to hear him chalk it up to my imagination

[00:02:39] I've hardly slept since that night and my dreams have been chock full of worst-case scenarios

[00:02:45] And still have not really brought it up again

[00:02:49] There have been a few occasions in which he has talked about taking naps how lame he is in Vegas

[00:02:54] I've mentioned a few times

[00:02:56] Sort of

[00:02:57] Sarcastically as a side that you'd be having more fun if you were sharing a room with me or if I was there instead of his present company

[00:03:04] He has brushed it all aside. So here we are

[00:03:08] He spent the last three nights in the hotel room with a woman that is not me or his mother

[00:03:13] My the asshole for being upset in OPs position

[00:03:17] I would find myself upset at the same time. Of course, there's every chance from what we're seeing here

[00:03:23] It's totally innocent and it's just something that happened last minute

[00:03:27] So they just went with it

[00:03:29] But still you would inform your partner about the case and gauge how they're feeling about it

[00:03:35] Discovering this out of the blue is going to be upsetting and concerning and you're like hold on a second

[00:03:40] What the hell like OP was but when to front says should have spoken to you first not told you

[00:03:47] Call him and tell him how you feel say you're not accusing him

[00:03:51] It just hurt and honestly felt weird when he didn't mention sharing your room with another woman

[00:03:55] Hey, I have to share a room with XYZ because XYZ happened

[00:03:59] Absolutely

[00:04:01] Trixie says not the asshole for being upset. I think most people would be however

[00:04:06] You should talk to him about it. It's not good. You're keeping these feelings to yourself

[00:04:10] Be honest about your feelings and ask him the question if he'd feel comfortable if you share a room with a male friend

[00:04:16] Just to make him see your point

[00:04:19] Communication is key in any relationship. So you should be able to talk about it without issues

[00:04:24] Lucille Brawl says yep, hope he needs to call him and tell him it bothers her

[00:04:29] Not just that they're sharing a room but that he didn't disclose the information immediately

[00:04:34] Sophia says not the asshole for being upset

[00:04:37] Your husband is sharing a hotel room with another woman and this situation raises valid concerns in insecurities

[00:04:43] Especially given his past with infidelity

[00:04:46] While he may not have any ill intentions. It's understandable that you're feeling hurt and anxious

[00:04:51] It's confusing about your reaction and his dismissive attitude towards your concerns are not helpful and can further fuel your insecurity

[00:04:59] Melody Cricket says not the asshole

[00:05:01] Osburn should have the common sense to get his own room or make other arrangements

[00:05:05] This is totally weird and strange and definitely ask him how it feel if you sharing a hotel room with another man in Vegas or anywhere else

[00:05:13] Married men should not share hotel rooms with other women other than mom or wife the same goes for married women

[00:05:19] I'd have to marl it he get his own room regardless of cost or if you had to go to another hotel

[00:05:24] This situation is so not cool

[00:05:28] I can't believe you just sulked in silence and not done something about it

[00:05:31] You need to discuss this with him ASAP

[00:05:34] Opea came in with a first update and said okay, I took some advice and grew a backbone

[00:05:40] I text him a little while ago instead of waiting until he got home

[00:05:44] In our boys are leaving for another trip tomorrow morning. I could not get the time off of work

[00:05:49] So I wanted to make sure we had the conversation fully before he left again

[00:05:53] Before I give the update wanted to make a couple of things clear. I do trust my husband

[00:05:58] He's never shown he would be the kind of person to cheat and that is not what truly concerned me

[00:06:04] Even though I did have some pretty unpleasant dreams

[00:06:07] My issue was that he was not upfront and honest with me

[00:06:10] If I had done the same thing he would have lost his mind understandably

[00:06:15] This is why I started the original post with he's just not that type

[00:06:19] We do generally have great communication

[00:06:22] Issue is here that I'd like to have this kind of conversation face-to-face rather than over the phone

[00:06:28] It's just not something I like to hash out while we're not in the same space

[00:06:32] Obviously in this situation, I should have made the exception and have now done so

[00:06:38] Now for the update

[00:06:39] I text him today to tell him that this situation has been bothering me for the last three days

[00:06:44] I had questions and we needed to have this conversation. I asked him who the woman was how old she was and

[00:06:51] Why didn't he tell me about the situation before I found out by accident?

[00:06:55] There was a mix up with the rooms knowing about not going so people were shuffled

[00:06:59] He was paired with a woman about my age

[00:07:02] He said he didn't think it'd be a big deal and didn't want to inconvenience everyone else on the trip

[00:07:07] He also said he did not want to upset me, which is why he didn't write out tell me about it

[00:07:13] He did tell me that I never had anything to worry about and he made sure they weren't in the room alone together

[00:07:18] Aside from when they were sleeping. I know I know but I really do believe him on this

[00:07:24] I was honest with him and told him that if the roles were reversed out of respect for him

[00:07:29] But have called him right away to make sure he's okay with it

[00:07:32] I told him that while I trust him implicitly

[00:07:35] I should not have found out the way I did and he should not have blown off my concern

[00:07:39] I told him the lack of upfront communication felt suspicious regardless of intention or what actually happened

[00:07:46] As for not upsetting me

[00:07:47] I told him I would have understood and not been upset if he had just been honest. He's apologized profusely

[00:07:54] I told him next time to just communicate is adamant there will not be a next time

[00:07:59] So call me naive or you want but I'm dropping it at this point

[00:08:04] It be home this evening and I intend on having a nice evening with him before I don't see him again for another two weeks

[00:08:11] Thank you for the advice. I cried it out when I found out her age

[00:08:15] But getting this off my chest has been very relieving

[00:08:18] I was boneless coming in tonight and we will talk. I'm hoping is 82 year old grandma

[00:08:23] I hope he came back in with another update six days later and said I'm not handling this as well as I thought I was

[00:08:30] Had decided to let it go. I know he wasn't doing anything with this other woman

[00:08:35] You can disagree and call me crazy if you'd like but I do know that

[00:08:39] However, as much as I've tried

[00:08:42] I can't get past the fact that he made the decision to do something

[00:08:45] He knew I wouldn't be okay with and not tell me about it

[00:08:48] It all feels just so messed up. I've talked to a few of my co-workers

[00:08:53] I don't really have any friends aren't friends of his I talked one a regular basis

[00:08:58] There is no way I will talk to my family because that is a shitstorm

[00:09:02] I can't handle right now and they are all shocked and more angry for me

[00:09:06] And I've let myself be most of them know him the kind of person he is and what ended his first marriage

[00:09:12] He used to work at the same company

[00:09:15] We had less than 24 hours together before he his mom and all three of my children took their trip to the other side of the United States

[00:09:22] I've been sitting in my feels and will continue to do so until they get back

[00:09:27] Almost another week from now

[00:09:29] I was on the phone with them this evening before they went to bed

[00:09:32] And one of the first things my husband said to me was I'm sharing a bed with a redhead tonight. Oh, dear me

[00:09:40] I almost came unglued before I realized he was talking about one of our boys

[00:09:44] We have three sons

[00:09:46] After a very long pause

[00:09:48] I said you better be talking about and I was so angry

[00:09:51] I didn't understand how we didn't pick up on that every conversation

[00:09:55] We have had has been short and to the point because I'm really just not interested in talking to him

[00:10:00] I've been calling my oldest son and talking with my boys instead

[00:10:03] His mom hasn't really said much to me which makes me think he has said something to her

[00:10:08] Which is fine, of course. I really don't care about that. What online is I don't know what to do

[00:10:14] It is midnight at home. I tried to go to bed two hours ago and I could not stop sobbing

[00:10:20] So I got up and let it go. It felt good to get it out

[00:10:24] But I know I need to talk to someone I have support lines through work

[00:10:28] I can call but won't tonight are too many drinks and I don't want to bring that into it as well

[00:10:33] But I will call tomorrow. I know I should be upset and angry and not let it go

[00:10:37] But I'm afraid when I do talk to a professional that they will say I'm blowing it out of proportion

[00:10:43] I will still call but I need to get my head straight first is cycling for seven days over 400 miles

[00:10:50] So as much as I want to tear a manu one right now

[00:10:53] Especially after it completely insensitive and clueless joke this evening

[00:10:57] I have not because I want him home safe and sound

[00:11:02] Regardless of my feelings in this moment

[00:11:03] The most important thing is that my children's dad comes home safe

[00:11:07] So we can hash this out at least in the same city not while he's a thousand miles away with his mom and my children

[00:11:15] So the top comments on that one illustrator slow says that joke is horrendous

[00:11:20] There's no respect for you at all. Hope he says it sure does feel that way right now

[00:11:25] Turbulent eb says damn make it a joke about it like that this soon after

[00:11:30] No, thanks says so gross

[00:11:33] It feels like the joke was to downplay what he did with a co-worker

[00:11:36] Is insensitive manipulative and downright disrespectful?

[00:11:41] Oh dearie me when he read that joke my palm was like literally on my forehead

[00:11:45] I was like come on man read the room

[00:11:47] There were some comments talking about the joke saying that he might have been just like trying to sort of break the ice or you know

[00:11:54] Get rid of some of the tension but

[00:11:57] That only works if you've got that kind of relationship if you know how the other person will react to it

[00:12:03] This is his wife. He knows that she may be feeling a bit insecure about things right now and then makes that jerk

[00:12:09] I was just like oh dearie me

[00:12:12] Nara pointed out some other points that Nara felt the world red flags at the same time

[00:12:17] It quoted the section said er what there's no friends of her own

[00:12:22] Her co-workers know her husband well enough to know how his first marriage ended

[00:12:26] guessing not well by the way

[00:12:28] She wrote that his mom is suddenly not talking to her

[00:12:32] He made an insensitive joke

[00:12:35] Anyone else getting some red flags and concerns here

[00:12:39] So I've discovered a bit of information from one of opi's comments where someone was asking opi

[00:12:45] You know, what's your gut telling you?

[00:12:47] Op responded saying my gut is telling me that he didn't cheat on me 100%

[00:12:51] I am not worried about that but given we have both been cheated on and he knows that

[00:12:57] He should have told me instead of me finding out by accident that is what is eating at me

[00:13:03] I've never asked this question before but what else is he not telling me because he knows it will upset me. I

[00:13:10] Always struggle with when people say that yeah, I don't want to tell my partner because it will upset them

[00:13:16] Yes, of course, you don't want to upset your partner

[00:13:19] But but the risk level there is just insane when they find out like op did in the situation

[00:13:26] It raises all kinds of insecurities because you're hiding information from them and

[00:13:32] Then the joke he made at the same time, especially given the context about the cheating is just wild

[00:13:39] Why would you say such a thing? But anyway now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys

[00:13:44] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:47] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story

[00:13:54] Now our next story comes from sugarless mama from the am I the asshole here subreddit and says I'm I the asshole for telling my vegan friend

[00:14:02] Who doesn't drink? I'm tired of catering to her choices

[00:14:07] My 50 female friend Lauren 46 female is a vegan who doesn't drink

[00:14:12] That's awesome, and I have no issue with that

[00:14:15] Problem is is that she's part of a small group of friends who don't get out very often

[00:14:19] But when we do it always has to be limited due to Lauren's choices

[00:14:24] We live in an area where our food choices suck to begin with so having to go eat where she can be satisfied is very limited

[00:14:31] It really isn't much to do otherwise at night

[00:14:34] In addition, she gets upset when any one of us eat something that has an obvious meat to it

[00:14:39] For example, she doesn't say anything if we get a soup with chicken or something

[00:14:43] But if we ordered a hamburger, she would cause drama

[00:14:47] Then she doesn't drink which is no big deal

[00:14:50] But she will then send us videos of the harmful effects of alcohol if we get a drink or two with dinner

[00:14:56] It is gotten on my nerves to say the least

[00:14:59] It has been a while now. So I'm done with everyone catering to her needs

[00:15:04] I've tried inviting everyone to specific places and invite Lauren as well, and she puts into a group chat

[00:15:10] Hey ladies, since I can't eat at X. Why don't we go to Y?

[00:15:15] And of course the other ones decide we should go to Y instead

[00:15:17] I've backed off of going out because I don't want to spend money on food that sucks

[00:15:22] Remember it's vegan not vegetarian

[00:15:24] So it's very limiting and is expensive or have my intelligence

[00:15:28] Question by sending shit about the effects of alcohol as if we're not old enough to know or Google it

[00:15:34] I barely drink anyway

[00:15:36] But enjoy a glass or two every so often she asked why I keep bailing so I told her I respect your choices

[00:15:42] But by the very nature of them they have a limited mind

[00:15:45] Being that I don't have the ability to go out often nor unlimited funds

[00:15:49] I'm only going to go when I know the entire experience will be what I want

[00:15:53] So if I'm in the mood for a steak and vodka tonic

[00:15:57] I want to be able to have them in a relaxed atmosphere and that obviously bugs you

[00:16:01] If I'm in the mood for a salad and water, I will gladly join you

[00:16:05] Or we can just hang out at the beach when we have time during the day. She didn't like that too much

[00:16:10] She said that isn't what friendship is about and I should enjoy the company enough not to care

[00:16:16] I told her that I understood and would gladly hang out with her when food or drink isn't in question because it's too expensive

[00:16:22] Not to enjoy it

[00:16:23] She said that there is nothing else to do around here

[00:16:26] And I asked if it's just about friends and maybe she can eat first and join us out sometimes

[00:16:31] And other times we can go to where she wants

[00:16:34] Then she told me that she's not going to sit around watching people eat meat

[00:16:38] I said okay, I get it and you need to get that. I'm not catering to your needs each time

[00:16:43] I'm free to hang out I

[00:16:45] Later got a text from a mutual friend that Lauren was upset

[00:16:47] She agreed with me because she was tired of the same shit

[00:16:50] Of course this friend doesn't like conflict. So just listen to Lauren

[00:16:55] So am I the asshole and not wanting to continue to eat food

[00:16:59] I don't like or refrain from having a drink or two to keep the peace here

[00:17:03] Or am I right in feeling like she's being selfish

[00:17:05] Expecting the rest of us to do what she's comfortable with each time quote. That isn't what friendship is about

[00:17:12] You should enjoy the company enough not to care

[00:17:14] how

[00:17:16] ironic and I have absolutely

[00:17:18] No issue with vegetarians vegans or or anything else to be quite honest

[00:17:23] And I would absolutely go to a restaurant that was as more suited to vegans or vegetarians

[00:17:29] Every once in a while as you know

[00:17:31] Friendship all that kind of stuff

[00:17:34] But there has to be a balance and the fact that she's sending you these these

[00:17:39] Messages about meat and and stuff like that and the harmful effects of alcohol would piss me right off

[00:17:45] And I'd be done with that nonsense pretty quickly

[00:17:48] But low razzmatazz says not the asshole but drop the friends that don't like conflict

[00:17:53] Why surround yourself with spineless morons?

[00:17:56] Opie says true

[00:17:57] It was all getting on my nerves and why I was happy not going anymore

[00:18:01] However, I sometimes wonder if I'm an asshole when others just easily bend to other people. I appreciate that

[00:18:07] Okay, understanding says not the asshole Lauren is an ass though

[00:18:11] Condescending comments about meat and alcohol is beyond me

[00:18:15] Opie replies in the alcohol really pissed me off was such a self-righteous type of behavior to me

[00:18:21] Karma says not the asshole. She's exactly right that isn't what friendship is about

[00:18:26] And so why can't she enjoy hanging out with her friends who are allowed to eat and drink whatever they want?

[00:18:31] Well, she eats and drinks what she wants. I'm sorry

[00:18:35] There's probably not a great ending here for the way she's framed the situation can easily be turned around back on her

[00:18:40] Though she's not right. Neither is she wrong

[00:18:44] It just may be that you two are incompatible as friends

[00:18:47] I hope your reply saying yes, I'm feeling we are not a good fit be honest

[00:18:52] I'm working hard on setting boundaries, but sometimes I question if I'm not going overboard

[00:18:57] Especially when many other women my age seem to just go along with something

[00:19:01] I felt like she was being extremely selfish, but thought I could be missing something and why I asked

[00:19:06] Opie on if she had a problem with Lauren being vegan and doesn't drink

[00:19:10] I hope says no the problem is that I'm expected to become a vegan and not drinking her presence

[00:19:15] I don't care what she does, but she cares what I do and the other women as well

[00:19:20] Opie on the food choices in the area. Opie says nice try

[00:19:23] I live in a small beach town. There is shitty food to begin with so the options are extremely limited here

[00:19:29] I can't tell you how many salads I have been limited to eating while going out with her

[00:19:34] There is no solely vegan restaurants and very few that have vegan options

[00:19:38] She doesn't make it worthwhile to listen to negativity to

[00:19:42] Forget what you actually want to that least fucking salad

[00:19:46] So because you misinterpret what I meant or assume the worst in people doesn't mean you are right

[00:19:51] Fucking fame seriously. Damn. I thought my life was pretty lame

[00:19:55] Just asking this question and to think that somebody thinks I'd actually make this shit up for fuck's sake

[00:20:03] The Opie comes in with her update and says update

[00:20:05] Thank you so much the countless people who commented on my post shown below

[00:20:10] You made me realize that I wasn't an asshole and shouldn't have to put up with a BS

[00:20:14] Many asked how I put up with it for so long

[00:20:17] I didn't have a good answer

[00:20:19] But it was more about the group itself where I didn't want to create drama

[00:20:23] My experience with friends has been lucky as most everyone has been loving fun and selfless

[00:20:28] We can also call each other out on BS by busting chops and laugh

[00:20:32] This is my first group who met semi regularly and the others are very sweet to where I felt uncomfortable rocking the boat

[00:20:38] Anyway, yesterday it was a bazillion degrees out here in florida

[00:20:42] And I was playing tennis with Lauren and two others. We were dying

[00:20:46] I didn't normally play with her but these women are all on my team

[00:20:49] I joined coming up in the fall. So we needed to start practicing

[00:20:53] No, I did not join because of Lauren

[00:20:56] Lol

[00:20:56] I've played against the other two throughout the years and they've been asking me to play for a long time now

[00:21:01] I have in a small area. So it's common for circles mixing like this

[00:21:06] One of the ladies had to stop due to dizziness, cramping and nausea

[00:21:10] We all decided that we should only play much earlier in the summer

[00:21:13] Except of course, Lauren who didn't want to wake up early because she said she doesn't play well then

[00:21:19] That's when I had it

[00:21:21] But the power of thousands of random reddit strangers in my head. I basically told her off

[00:21:26] I told her I've never met someone so self-absorbed in my entire life

[00:21:30] It was disgusting that she would even think that way in front of a teammate who clearly had heat exhaustion

[00:21:36] Let alone have it come out of her mouth

[00:21:39] I said all this while arras is sitting down while the other woman and I got a cold wet towel for this woman

[00:21:44] And getting her to drink

[00:21:46] Lauren stormed off

[00:21:48] These other two thanked me

[00:21:50] One was a usual partner who is the sweetest person alive and said she's been wanting to tell her off for a year now

[00:21:56] The other one who was feeling like shit and said she is going to tell the captain that she needs to go because

[00:22:01] She's like a cancer on the team

[00:22:04] I'm very happy to say that I will not be dealing with a selfish BS any longer. She can go shove a carrot up her arse for all

[00:22:10] I care lol

[00:22:12] Thanks so much everyone tonight. I'm going to have a giant hamburger and a cold beverage in your honor

[00:22:17] Cheers

[00:22:18] OP on a comment about not respecting Lauren's wishes and trying to make this whole thing about herself and not

[00:22:24] Lauren and said I could say something and suggested other things. She wasn't having it. I wasn't pouting

[00:22:31] We are busy and have lives

[00:22:32] So this isn't the end of the world and I was quite happy with that choice

[00:22:35] I kindly told her my feelings and she told me I wasn't being a good friend because it isn't about the food

[00:22:40] So then why do we have to eat her shit every time then?

[00:22:44] I wasn't hurt over the videos

[00:22:45] Was fucked up to cross other boundaries like that as she was some self righteous queen of health

[00:22:50] She's controlling thousands of pointed out

[00:22:53] That should be clear with her not budging on playing in the mornings after a teammate got sick from the heat

[00:22:59] One I spoke with her already calmly and nicely

[00:23:02] She never budged and only expected me to continue to bend to her needs and fearing I was not a good friend

[00:23:08] I still ended that conversation in a respectful manner then learned that she goes to a mutual friend to bitch about me

[00:23:15] Two it was after the above that I felt she was extremely selfish

[00:23:18] But I still wasn't sure because she turned it around on me. That's why I came here to read it

[00:23:24] Three I didn't go off on her about the food

[00:23:26] I went off on her because there was a woman about to throw up due to extreme heat

[00:23:30] Well another woman and myself were trying to cool her down and make sure she was okay

[00:23:34] Lauren made it again about her

[00:23:37] She sat there bitching about not wanting to play earlier because she doesn't play good early in the morning

[00:23:42] By the way, that is complete bullshit because the matches start early in the mornings

[00:23:46] And she's played on this league for many years. I'm sorry, but you must be extremely infuriating to anyone who needs your help and needs you to listen

[00:23:54] You fill in gaps to stories that don't exist

[00:23:57] You assume what people are feeling and why they have done certain things and then come across in a very pompous manner

[00:24:03] That you are correct. Yes, you are absolutely correct at this shit. You literally made up in your head

[00:24:08] However, you're very far off from what happened to me how I felt and why I acted the way I did

[00:24:15] I'm not sure how you guys feel about this one, but it didn't really feel like in the end

[00:24:19] It was about the food about being vegan or or anything like that

[00:24:23] It just sounds like Lauren is a very self-absorbed individual that if she doesn't get away

[00:24:29] She's going to kick up a fuss in some form

[00:24:32] Like for the tennis stuff and complaining while a friend of hers has got heat exhaustion

[00:24:39] Gee bloody whiz, but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys to

[00:24:43] Sports based stories. We have bowling and tennis at the end there. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:24:51] I just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:24:54] Your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me

[00:24:58] And hopefully I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love

[00:25:21] From the bacon