Husband Allowed My Best Friend To Sleep In OUR Bed She Was Going Through A Bad Time r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang I do hope you are well, my name is Mark and today we are checking out some more Reddit Stories and if you do love a Reddit Story why not consider hitting that like subscribe and maybe that notification bell too you absolute cheeky so and so.

[00:00:18] Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a deleted user from the RelationshipAdvice subreddit and says My 26 female best friend 23 female might be in love with my husband 26 male. Where do I go from here?

[00:00:37] Now just jumping back in again because I've had to come back after I recorded this to give you a couple of warnings because holy moly it escalates quickly. There is talk of birthing complications there is also talk of suicide within the story so

[00:00:50] if you want to skip the video please feel free to do so look after your mental health all that good stuff and now we are going to crack on with it. Much love guys. Threw away because my husband stalks Reddit.

[00:01:02] Also I know he isn't cheating on me, he's at home more often than not and I have full access to his electronics as he does to mine. My husband and I have been together since we were young teenagers.

[00:01:13] We got married last year and have a 6 month old daughter together. She is the light of both of our lives as we came from broken homes and want a better life than we lived growing up.

[00:01:24] My best friend came a few years later, we used to live in the same neighborhood and casually began to hang out. She lives with both her parents and siblings as she is studying to get her bachelors degree.

[00:01:36] At first she didn't like my husband, said that he was clingy and tried to insert himself into our friendship. What the fuck? She was still to him because he was my romantic partner.

[00:01:48] For context, my husband is bipolar type 2, autism and PTSD and it causes him to be a little socially awkward and miss certain social cues and taboos. I love him regardless of it all. Over the last few years we have been hanging out a lot more.

[00:02:05] She comes over for a few drinks, we go to movies and even visit local attractions together. We all three have a good time and my husband does try to make nights for just the two of us often too.

[00:02:17] Over last year my husband and I found out we were expecting a child together in January. I was working and I felt ill because at the time I was working at a fast food place, I threw up and went to the doctor.

[00:02:29] Come to find out I was 8 and a half weeks pregnant. My life changed and I had become more busy to get myself ready for motherhood. My best friend saw me less and less and we couldn't talk as much.

[00:02:42] My husband and I got married almost a month and a half after discovering we were going to become parents. That's when our dynamic changed. Recently I applied to school and am currently in college trying to get a law degree so I

[00:02:54] can become a paralegal and get to law school. I'm also a stay at home mum while doing college too. I've been super busy. One day my husband gets a text and it's from my best friend. She asks if they can talk as she was upset.

[00:03:10] He took the phone call with me protesting and a few minutes later said, Sandra, fake name we need to get Carla. Her father is picking a fight with her. I get upset as we were watching a movie together and I had just gotten the baby down for bed.

[00:03:24] We go to her house which is about 20 minutes away and she stays with us for a night. As I get our daughter back down to bed, Carla asks to cuddle with the two of us in our bed. I was hesitant.

[00:03:35] I have issues with claustrophobia due to a traumatic experience as a child. My husband gave the go ahead. We settle in for the night. Carla's dad apologized and she heads back home. Once she was gone, I blew up on my husband.

[00:03:50] What he did was not only inappropriate but was disrespectful to my boundaries. Ever since when she has an issue with her dad, she calls my husband and vents. One day while my in-laws were staying with us, my mother-in-law overheard a convo with my hubby and Carla.

[00:04:06] She was concerned and asked me if I was okay with it. I said no, not really but every time I bring it up he gets defensive saying that she needs help that she is going through a hard time blah blah blah.

[00:04:17] It is important to note that my mother-in-law was cheated on in the past by her ex, my husband's father. We are also extremely close and she sees me as a daughter.

[00:04:28] She hates cheaters with a passion and my husband, I will refer to as James, was using the same excuses his father did. She asked us to speak to him privately and walk to our living room. They got into a heated match and James apologized to me.

[00:04:42] He said he didn't know it was hurting me and causing issues in our marriage. I asked him how would he feel if I asked him if another man could sleep in the bed with us. He kind of deflated and tried to say it's different blah blah blah.

[00:04:55] His stepfather, Mark, spoke up and said it is the same, you're uncomfortable with it, so is she. Quit the excuses. James respects Mark quite a lot actually. Mark raised him since he was 8 and his own father was in and out of the picture.

[00:05:12] Once the dust settles, my husband truly apologized to me for his actions and said that he would do better. I kissed him and that was that. However, I wouldn't be right here if that was the end of the issues.

[00:05:23] Lately, Carla has been calling him 3-8 times a day. She says it's because she is bored and has no one else to talk to. I snap. I call him out over the nonchalance about the situation, how when she calls he answers,

[00:05:37] how it's making me feel like a third wheel in my marriage etc. His response? She's just lonely, still letting it get to you. That night, I slept in the living room. I'm starting to suspect that she is trying to monopolize his time.

[00:05:52] She calls him for over an hour each time she calls. They talk, she complains about her life etc. Almost like she is his girlfriend or something. I'm starting to find this relationship troubling. It's getting to the point that it has affected my marriage.

[00:06:06] Where do I go from here? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit thanks everyone for the feedback. I'm going to have a talk with him, with his mom involved. He won't listen to me if I don't. I'm tired of fighting him over this.

[00:06:19] I should have an update with a resolution in a couple of days. I'm going to read everyone's responses more thoroughly. Thanks for the advice. Edit 2 My husband and I had a sit down talk. His mother and stepfather weren't available.

[00:06:33] He promised me that he would explain everything in detail. I called Carla and she said we could talk Friday when she wasn't busy with school. She had something she needed to air out. We'll have an update on Friday, hopefully.

[00:06:46] Edit 3 I woke up to a text from Carla this morning. She actually wants to talk to me tonight, alone, as her schedule has changed. We're going to have a heart to heart. Edit 4 I need some time. I will post an update later on. My heart is hurting.

[00:07:04] Hubby and I are getting a divorce. Thank you for understanding everybody. And you know me by now, my mind goes to weird places when I read these stories. In the first thought I was thinking about the sleeping arrangement between these guys when they were in bed.

[00:07:19] Was husband cuddling up to her? Was husband in the middle? OP said themselves that they have issues with claustrophobia due to a traumatic experience as a child. So let's face it, they're not going to be the one in the middle in this situation.

[00:07:32] Such a weird thing to ask and then accept it as well is even stranger. Yeah, we can already see the path that this story is going down. We've got a couple of updates to go with it.

[00:07:42] But we're going to cover a couple of comments and you have to keep in mind that these might have been like before OP came in with the update. The updates that we've covered so far. Aggravating Owl says you've set your boundaries and he continues to cross them.

[00:07:55] Is this how you want your marriage to be? She won't stop as long as your husband responds to her every time. OP responded saying you're right I have issues standing up for myself. Individual Noise replied to that says you are standing up for yourself, your husband

[00:08:09] is not respecting you. You need to be open with your husband and tell him that his behavior is leading to the end of this relationship. If he tries the she's lonely and you're just jealous.

[00:08:19] You answer that she's lonely because she prefers to seek the attention of her husband's best friend and you are jealous because he's given more importance to another woman's comfort over yours, his wife and mother of his children. He being autistic is not an excuse here.

[00:08:33] He has difficulty with social cues, not with knowing what is right or wrong. It's not unknown to a person in a committed relationship to develop a crush on someone. What they do about that crush is what matters.

[00:08:45] Your husband instead of cutting her out of his life and putting effort into his marriage is letting his feelings for her grow and become an emotional affair. Boudicca's justice says he needs to cut her off, you both do.

[00:08:57] He needs to tell her that their contact is hurting his marriage so it's best if they don't have contact and then block her. He's choosing her over you again and again, every single time. Sounds like he's enjoying the attention.

[00:09:10] He likes being needed by her, by being a hero. If he doesn't stop contact, the relationship is going to be over. He's in an emotional affair with her. Next step is physical. It's unfortunate but it's ultimatum time. It's either you or her.

[00:09:26] He can't have both and maintain a healthy marriage. Koltrold quotes a part of that and says not even that. He needs to tell her he can't be the first and only person she turns to whenever she's got a problem.

[00:09:37] If she's really having this much trouble navigating life without blowing up his phone constantly, she needs a therapist. If she's just doing it because she can, she knows that's not okay. Either way, it has to stop and he's not making himself available if she doesn't

[00:09:52] knock it off on her own. One more comment from Tacostrong who says either your husband takes the steering wheel and cuts her off and respects your marriage or you leave them both behind. Your husband is allowing this and I guarantee he's enjoying it.

[00:10:05] He has you locked in marriage and now has the thrill of speaking almost non-stop to another woman. He's literally emotionally cheating on you and you know what the next step is. Again, this isn't about her anymore but your husband. He either gets with the program or he doesn't.

[00:10:21] So OP's second update, main update says. This update is hard. Everything about this situation sucks and I don't know if I'll be okay for some time. Baby and I are currently staying with my friend, Tanya. To start, James and I are getting a divorce.

[00:10:38] Carla is no longer a friend to me or our mutuals. The betrayal is too deep for her to be friends with our group. As most of you assumed, James and Carla are indeed having an affair. It started about 3 months ago and just turned physical 1 month ago.

[00:10:53] They were planning on just up and leaving after James served me divorce papers. They used the ruse that he was helping her through emotional issues to hide the fact. I was crushed. She wanted to clear the air before it got worse.

[00:11:06] That was when she dropped a huge bombshell. James was going to try and get me to terminate my rights to my child in order for Carla to adopt her. The reason?

[00:11:16] My borderline diagnosis a few years ago made me unfit to be a mother and he was sure that the courts would agree. She then handed me 2 separate stacks of paperwork and left. I'm contacting a lawyer as I'm writing this. I was seriously hurt. You guys were right.

[00:11:33] Carla was a snake and only told me this so she wouldn't feel guilty. However, I'm not letting my soon to be ex-husband bully me into termination of my rights. I called him afterwards and got very heated about what was going on. James just sat there in silence.

[00:11:48] I was crying afterwards. I pleaded with him to tell me what I did wrong. For a little bit of backstory, I had a near fatal complication with my delivery of our daughter where I bled my entire labor.

[00:12:00] I had to have 2 blood transfusions and haven't fully recovered from it. I was not cleared for any extraneous activity for 3 months, including sexual activity. James was getting unsatisfied with all my doctor's appointments and not getting the sex that he wanted.

[00:12:16] I was hurting and ended up needing another procedure to remove some placenta that didn't naturally come out. I had to have my tubes tied because if I have another child, it will kill me next time.

[00:12:27] James wanted at least 2 more kids and this put an end to his plans. I married a monster. We were together since we were 15 and this is how he repays me. I thought I knew him. He was acting so caring and nice to me. I'm absolutely heartbroken.

[00:12:44] I'm not even sure if I'm going to update this anymore but if I do, it'd be after the divorce settles. Thanks for all the concern. I'm going to step back and take some time to adjust. There is no chance for a healthy co-parenting situation.

[00:12:58] I'm fighting for primary custody with supervised visits. Carla will not have any access to the baby, as I will ask the judge to make a clause preventing her from interacting with my daughter. Thanks for all the advice. Edit.

[00:13:12] I forgot to add that I contacted his mother and Mark this morning. They are furious that James is doing this to me. They're helping me foot the cost of a lawyer because I'm a stay at home mom and college student.

[00:13:24] They've kicked James out and he is now staying at our old house with Carla. He did give me the courtesy to get my stuff and didn't put up a fuss about me taking what I wanted. He told me that he will keep in contact for divorce proceedings.

[00:13:37] When it got to that point of saying James was going to try and get me to terminate my rights because of a diagnosis you went in the past, I thought, ugh, you apps. I was boiling up asking you, dick splash. It just breaks my heart for OP.

[00:13:51] How can someone, I know I shouldn't be surprised the amount of stories we read. I shouldn't be surprised but I am every time. It's like how does another human do this to someone else? They said in the first post that they've been together since they were young teenagers.

[00:14:08] I was so glad as I was reading through that second update that I was playing. Please tell the mother-in-law about what he's up to now. He's deserving every bit of karma that comes his way. I'm Grey, direct from the Grey's Lone Memorial Hospital.

[00:14:26] We're looking for reinforcement because we're getting a lot of new cases. Our station is full of extraordinary patients, young doctors in training and a lot of inhuman drama. So come on by. Grey's Anatomy, the new episodes and all seasons, only on Disney+. Subscriptions starting at 5.99 euros per month.

[00:14:46] And now, have fun with the podcast, wishes Disney+. The OP comes in with her next update and says, Sorry I've been radio silent. I spoke to a lawyer who was helping me at a reduced rate.

[00:14:59] My in-laws are helping me foot the cost of a lawyer against their wayward son. With all the info that I have, including some threatening texts from Carla and James, I've decided to file for a protection order.

[00:15:10] They were even stupid enough to send me a text that pretty much confirmed the blackmail. I intended to use this to my advantage in the upcoming divorce proceedings as evidence of emotional abuse. John has continued to maintain that I need to terminate my rights to our daughter

[00:15:25] so that he can run away with Carla, but I shut that shit down. My little girl is the light in my life and my only chance to be a mom, which is something I have always wanted to do.

[00:15:36] I finally got a clean bill of health from my doctor after months of dealing with post-natal complications. Needless to say, no more babies for me. I could die if I get pregnant again. I go to court Friday for our divorce proceedings.

[00:15:50] We have a mediator that my lawyer is speaking to directly for me, so I don't have to deal with James' bully tactics. My lawyer is a no-nonsense kind of man and I like that about him. My in-laws have decided to cut ties with James after this.

[00:16:04] He openly disrespected them for giving me a place to stay after I was kicked from the house and the threats. The emotional anguish he's been putting me through has been too much. They've always saw me as their own daughter and has treated me as such.

[00:16:17] They are just as angry at James for his involvement in all of this as I am. That's why they decided to foot the cost of a lawyer since I was a stay-at-home mom. My therapist has upped my therapy sessions to three times a week.

[00:16:30] I was also formally diagnosed with DID, which a quick google says, and hopefully it's the one that says Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder, which only came out when I blacked out in a therapy session. My therapist and psychiatrist have been communicating and have suspected for a

[00:16:49] while that I have it, but got confirmed after my recent development in therapy. I haven't told James this and never intend to. My mother-in-law does know and has been my rock through all of this. As for the commenters on relationship advice that say

[00:17:02] I moved too quickly out of the house for it to seem real, I have one thing to say, I have very little and had to go back and grab the baby stuff. My soon-to-be ex and Carla have went on a weekend getaway to my dream location,

[00:17:15] which I knew they did to hurt me even more. The pics were sent to me by my current friend who gave me a place for a few days before my in-laws gave me a place in their home. Baby girl is adjusting to life without her

[00:17:27] daddy around all the time. She is super fussy most of the time and I'm sure she misses having him around. It breaks my heart to pieces. That's all I have for you right now, we'll have another full update on Friday.

[00:17:41] I have some great news, baby girl is safe with me. My lawyer pulled through for me and my ex wants his divorce to be over with as soon as possible. First of all, I got full custody of my daughter

[00:17:52] with supervised visitation from ex. His own words came back to haunt him. I had proof of all his threats and the blackmail of him trying to get me to sign away my rights and the judge wasn't happy.

[00:18:03] He tore into James and Carla about their behavior and how they tried to blackmail me and how they were lucky that I didn't press charges for extortion. Because of their bad behavior, he told them he couldn't in conscience do shared custody because of the evidence of their behavior

[00:18:17] towards me. He was also worried that they would try to run off with her. Next up, because of all the behavior and aggression towards me that was unwarranted, my protection order was granted. My mother-in-law who stayed beside me in court is the one who volunteered to facilitate the

[00:18:33] supervised visits until my divorce becomes final. If Carla and James try to contact me again, unless it is strictly about our daughter, then they will both go to jail. James has to pay me

[00:18:44] child support. Of course he tried to protest it but it wasn't happening. Lastly, after court, James said something that broke my heart about our daughter. If he can't have primary custody, then he's going to petition to terminate his rights. He doesn't want to be tied to me anymore

[00:19:00] and is willing to let my daughter suffer for it. So, my daughter just pretty much lost her father because he would rather break away from me and pretend that I don't exist. I have some additional information from Carla that she said to me afterwards. Apparently,

[00:19:15] she is infertile due to an illness she suffered from as a teenager. She wanted a baby so bad and to get me out of the picture so that they could play happy family with my daughter. I was stunned.

[00:19:26] She then asked me if I was happy for tearing their family apart. I had to look at her for a second. She tore my family apart. I wanted to slap her so bad. Because of her, my daughter is

[00:19:37] probably going to lose her father. I'm sad. That's all I have for you. My next update will probably be when the divorce finally happens. Thank you for reading this. Next Update This update is heavy. Court was on Friday

[00:19:51] and I was waiting for the dust to settle before I posted two days ago. My soon-to-be ex-husband has been hospitalized. Carla called me this morning, crying despite the order. James tried

[00:20:02] to commit suicide this morning and she found him just in time. He tried to OD on his prescriptions and now he's in the hospital. The doctors don't know how long he will be there but I will keep my

[00:20:12] hopes up for a speedy recovery. Despite the literal hell he has put me through, he is still the father of my daughter. I'm not pressuring charges this time against Carla because it was a dire emergency.

[00:20:24] James is stable and they're transferring him to a facility for the foreseeable future. I feel almost sorry for her. I don't know when I will be able to update again. I have a lot to deal

[00:20:34] with and emergency care to plan for. Please keep me in your thoughts as I navigate this difficult situation. Thank you. Edit Soon-to-be ex is at a treatment facility that specializes in autism and emotional regulation disorders. He will be there for at least 30 days depending on treatment

[00:20:51] and his receptiveness of it. All divorce proceedings have to be put on hold for a bit until he gets out. I talked to my lawyer about Carla contacting me about his attempt. He told me that I shouldn't have responded but he understood the necessity to do so.

[00:21:04] For now, I'm not in contact with her and don't intend to be for the foreseeable future. Next update I didn't think I'd be back with an update but it's been two weeks since the soon-to-be ex was

[00:21:15] hospitalized for a suicide attempt. Since we have put divorce proceedings on hold for a while until he gets out of the hospital, I've been taking the steps to spend time with my daughter

[00:21:24] and my in-laws who have been my rocks in this situation. Life has stabilized for me a bit, instead of acclimating to my DID diagnosis. I've been out of it for a few days now due

[00:21:36] to some heavy-duty painkillers but I know some of you are here to see how this saga ends. On to the biggest part of the update. Carla has been arrested and is being charged with breaking a protective order, aggravated assault and attempted kidnapping

[00:21:49] plus a whole slew of other charges. Here is what happened. I was out and about in town yesterday trying to get a few errands done. I was starting to get hungry and decided to get some food at my favorite spot.

[00:22:01] It was a small Italian restaurant I used to go to with my husband before the divorce proceedings started. I ordered my food and sat down to wait for my order. As my food was being handed to me,

[00:22:11] I saw Carla storm in like she owned the place and decided to confront me. She was hysterical and I couldn't make sense of what she was trying to say. She then started to punch and kick me.

[00:22:21] To make a long story short, Carla broke my nose and arm, fractured my left eye socket and punctured a lung. When she realized what she had done, she panicked and tried to take my

[00:22:31] stroller while I was fighting to stay conscious. Someone saw what she was trying to do and stopped her before she could escape. I walked to the police in my room and my in-laws holding my daughter.

[00:22:41] The police filled me in on what happened and now Carla is in jail awaiting a court hearing. Because of the nature of my injuries, police had taken the decision to press charges out of my

[00:22:50] hands. Not that I tried to drop the charges anyway. So yeah, this is where I'm at. Sorry if it seems super lame. I'll update again after Carla's court date in a few days. Much love guys. Next update.

[00:23:03] Carla is still sitting in jail. She is facing some serious prison time and I'm so happy that I can put her behind me. I also got out of the hospital a day and a half ago.

[00:23:12] First of all, let me begin with a small update on my soon to be ex hubby. He has been receptive to treatment and will be leaving the hospital next Monday. My mother-in-law has been keeping me up to date on his condition and he is stable now.

[00:23:25] A lot of you were right. Carla took advantage of his manic episode and need for a stronger dosage of his medicine by convincing him to sleep with her. He has since broken up with her and begged

[00:23:35] this mother to tell me he does want another chance to be my husband. That's why she attacked me the other day. She couldn't handle his rejection. To be clear, I'm not giving him another

[00:23:45] chance. He destroyed my trust by not only cheating on me but by refusing his medicines for a while and threatening me and our daughter. I'm still going through the divorce but I may go to counseling to review the custody arrangement and give him more supervised visitation. He's still

[00:24:01] her father after all. Also, I got a job recently. I was told I got the position a day before I was released from the hospital. I haven't read all your messages of support but the ones I have read,

[00:24:12] thank you. Carla is still in jail with no chance to get out before her next hearing. Hopefully she gets what's coming to her. I'll be stabilizing and begging for another chance and I'm looking forward to starting my career. I'll be updating again in about a week.

[00:24:26] Edits, I just read some comments and some of them are rather harsh about me saying I want to try and give him a little more supervised visits. Say what you want but soon to be ex-husband can go back

[00:24:36] and try to get custody order reviewed when he gets out. As long as he's stable and undergoes mandated therapy, the judges will rule in his favor. The review of his custody arrangement is per my

[00:24:46] lawyer's advice. Otherwise when he gets better he can file to have it amended. It's just easier to be agreeable than fight it out. I've no more energy to do so. Carla is in jail so my biggest

[00:24:58] threat is gone. She isn't getting out for some time. Not even her family's influence can help her. I'd rather agree to longer visits than risk having him gain even an ounce of unsupervised

[00:25:08] custody. At least this way I know my in-laws will get her out of there if he is dangerous. He'll also look better on me during this divorce process. An OP's last update says soon to be ex just got out of the hospital. He's staying at his home

[00:25:22] alone. He's so miserable now that he has lost everything. His mom and stepdad have cut him off for the most part except during visits with our daughter. His mom told me that he's

[00:25:32] going to sign away his rights once I get married again if that is what I want. According to her, he wants to reconcile but knows that I'm not willing to do so. He wants his life back before

[00:25:43] this whole Carla debacle started. He isn't fighting custody at all either. He doesn't want any more visitation than he already has. He's willing to pay child support and alimony to speed along this divorce. He's cognizant of the damage he has done to our family.

[00:25:57] For context, my mother cheated on my father and it broke up my family before I was old enough to remember. A divorce was final when I was only a year old and my mother abandoned me. I cannot

[00:26:08] stand cheaters. They destroy lives. James understands this too. Cheating is that hard line for me so James knew he fucked up. Right now, I have an appointment on Friday for a discussion with my lawyer about the terms of our divorce and formalizing custody. James' parents are helping me

[00:26:25] with arrangements for my own apartment. Thank you everyone. I won't update again until the divorce is final which should be in three months at least. Goodbye for now.