Girlfriend Stopped Talking To Me After I Said I Wouldn't Care If My Partner Cheated r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories and if you do love a Reddit Story why not consider hitting that like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:19] story. Much love guys. Now our first story comes from PretendPayment9905 and says am I the arsehole here for saying I would not care if my partner cheated on me. Yesterday we were hanging out with some friends and the topic came to cheating and relationships.

[00:00:36] When I was asked my opinion, I told him I would not really care if my girlfriend cheated on me. There is not a need to sulk over it, it's just a girlfriend and cheating proves

[00:00:46] the point that they are not the one. From my point of view, life is too short to get sad about these things. In the end, cheating is not even your fault, it's just cheaters trying to fill the emptiness inside of them or cover their insecurities through physical

[00:01:01] or emotional acts with other people. I clearly told him I would not even need to get over it, with one of my previous relationships I was cheated on and they were caught during the act. I told him to have fun and just left.

[00:01:14] People were taken aback by my answer and asked if anything would change if it was wife instead of girlfriend. I said no, I would just divorce and we would go our separate ways. There is

[00:01:24] no need to prolong things and stay in a broken marriage. Some said if I would not try marriage counseling first, I answered no because there is no reason to. Marriage counseling should be done before the act of cheating instead of after it. If the cheating spouse has any

[00:01:40] problems they should communicate them with the other partner and try to solve it. If they cannot, they should divorce and cheating is never an option. Doing marriage counseling after infidelity is like a murderer going to the murder scene to revive the victim but

[00:01:54] the victim has to do most of the work to get revived. I do not care about closure at all, I do not care about the reason. People and especially my girlfriend seem shocked

[00:02:04] by my answers and ask me if I have any emotions at all. I do have emotions, it's just that I do not see it necessary to spend my emotional energy on something I have no fault on or

[00:02:14] that hurt me. Life is too short to be bothered by that. Girlfriend told me she does not see me in the same light anymore and thinks I do not value our relationship. She is not talking to me now. Am I the asshole?

[00:02:27] So a couple of people ask OP questions and OP replies giving some relevant information. Rain Girl says not the asshole. I have a question though, if you caught your girlfriend or wife cheating would you be hurt? If someone you love leaves your life there is usually a period

[00:02:42] of grief. Would you go through or would you just be carefree and happy the very next day? OP says I caught them during the act in one of my past relationships. I told them to

[00:02:52] have fun and just left the relationship. I moved on with my life as usual after that. There is no reason to get sad for cheating, it just means they are not the one for you.

[00:03:01] However, for one of my past relationships I had to part ways with my ex partner due to different life choices. I felt sad because the relationship ended in grief. What matters

[00:03:11] for me is how it ended. If it's due to cheating or betrayal I just do not see the need to get sad. Queen Doc says sad feelings are going to be sad until processed and said that's

[00:03:20] the point though. He never said he'd process the emotions and move on, he said he would just be like K and end it. If your girlfriend is upset that he is saying he wouldn't grieve

[00:03:30] the end of something that until that point would have seemed to have been working okay. The lack of grief in the scenario he is presenting is what concerns the girlfriend because if

[00:03:40] you don't grieve the loss of something did you even love it to begin with? OP says I would be like K and end it if I were to be cheated on. Let's say we had parted ways

[00:03:50] due to different choices in life, I would cherish the memories of this relationship and grieve it for ending. However, if there is cheating involved I just move on, there is no need to get sad for that. But OP responds to someone saying about him not being emotionally

[00:04:06] invested into his girlfriend and not care about the facts of being cheated on. OP says It is just not the romantic relationships, if my friend betrays me in an unforgivable manner, I take losses and end the relationships too. I can't empathize with people, I get

[00:04:21] sad when my friends feel down, I get sad when my loved ones get hurt. However, there is no need to get sad if it's something that you have zero fault. I love someone until they

[00:04:30] betray me, after that there is no need to prolong the relationship. I work on getting back together with a cheater. On a final note, I strictly hold my values, I do not cheat, I do not betray and I do not intentionally hurt people.

[00:04:46] The first commenter on this one says you're not the arsehole I get what you are trying to say here then quotes OP and says you're saying that if they're going to cheat then they aren't the right person for you and you realize that. Personally I agree with you,

[00:04:59] I can't control my partner and I don't want to have to monitor my partners every move, I can't trust them and they have no place in my life. If your girlfriend has no intention of cheating then this is a moot issue, don't understand why she'd be so upset.

[00:05:13] ButtDragon says and replies to that, great name by the way, I think the reason she is upset is that he is implying he wouldn't care at all about the relationship ending. It's one thing to move on after being wronged, it's another to not miss your long time partner

[00:05:26] or not be sad that the relationship is over. Louder says I'm the exact same way, when my boyfriend decided to boink a co-worker and I only found out because of his efforts to hide it, I never even considered it cheating

[00:05:38] on me. He cheated himself out of a relationship with me, it was surgical not because I am vindictive but because he became a liar. I would have stayed with him had he told me he developed feelings for her and wanted to explore those feelings, sexually or emotionally

[00:05:56] but it was he who wanted us to be 100% committed to monogamy, equals he broke his own heart. Yes people have called me cold but I honestly cannot understand why people become destroyed over this stuff. Hurt, sad, disappointed sure but how anyone questions their worth when

[00:06:13] they find out their SO is not honest, faithful and considerate is unfathomable. Tasty Horse Pace says on one hand this can be construed as a very mature headspace, the type that people typically do not arrive at until they've experienced some heavy

[00:06:27] stuff in life. On the other hand this could be construed as you saying you have a role in your life you want filled, girlfriend, wife, friend whatever and the specific person filling that role isn't particularly relevant and can be swapped out easily, your girlfriend

[00:06:41] thinks you meant the latter. I tried to explain to her what I said would be applicable only in the case of cheating and I value our relationship. I read most of the comments on the original post and tried

[00:07:40] to clarify everything that people pointed out. In the end it did not work and I was blocked. Funny how I do not feel sad when the other party cheats on me and I can move on

[00:07:50] but when it's a reason like that I feel sad and hurt. I think that proved I feel like that only for cheating, losing our relationship for something like that feels surreal, it is

[00:08:00] upsetting. I think it's best if I keep my ideas to myself in the future, not sure I can do that though given that I am very straight forward, bad and good experiences in the past

[00:08:10] make up current us. This breakup will be one of the bad experiences that make the future me. However, I tried to explain myself and mend the relationship. I believe it's best to move on and learn from it. Life goes on. Thank you for all the advice.

[00:08:24] And a top comment on that one said they tried to shame you into being upset about being hypothetically cheated on and then continued saying I think they probably said something like if you don't care if I have sex with your girlfriend right now do you really like

[00:08:38] her yourself? Opie says I mean if they do they're not my girlfriend anymore. After that point they're free to do what they want. Just wish them to have fun and move on.

[00:08:49] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:09:00] Now this one is from a throw away account that's titled my girlfriend 24 female of 3 months never cuddles with me 27 male since she has always been a non cuddler and when we recently met on vacation she slept on the spare bed in the hotel room to avoid sleeping

[00:09:17] with me. Alright so here it goes sorry for the shit title by the way. My girlfriend let's call her Francesca and I have been dating for an amazing 3 months so far and she is absolutely amazing and caring and loving to me. She has

[00:09:33] only ever had one boyfriend before me and she is my first post high school girlfriend. It's only been a few months and my girlfriend sadly always finds a reason not to cuddle

[00:09:42] or even lay together for a long period of time when I try to. This really sucks because I've always been a huge cuddler and I guess I've tried to overlook it when dating her

[00:09:52] but it's hard. When I ask her if we can cuddle it's always I really don't like cuddles they make me uncomfortable. When I ask why she feels this way she always avoids the question.

[00:10:02] For my birthday I asked her if she could try to cuddle with me just once as a birthday gift and she got really emotional and said it would make her really uncomfortable so

[00:10:11] I felt bad and haven't asked her again. Honestly if I ask her again it's going to make her sad and it makes me upset seeing her like that. I talked to my friends about this she

[00:10:21] said that she might be scared that I'd try to make a move on her. Sex and I mentioned that early on in the relationship since me and Francesca are both virgins we decided

[00:10:30] that we want to wait for the right moment before having sex which we both agreed should be at least 6 months in. I'm not sure what to do and hopefully I'm not overreacting too

[00:10:41] much but it bugs me not to be able to cuddle with my favorite girl. Sometimes she rejects holding hands too which also sucks. She will hold my hand for a minute or so and then let

[00:10:51] go. I've talked about this with her too and she said it makes her feel bad when I make her feel like she's not good enough because she doesn't cuddle and hold my hand. Since I've typed too much already I'll keep the remainder of this short. Recently she's been

[00:11:05] wanting to visit Hawaii for a long time so I surprised her with a weekend vacation there. When we got to the hotel she insisted on sleeping in the spare bed. She wasn't upset with me

[00:11:15] or anything and just decided she wanted to sleep alone. It hurt but I shouldn't have expected much anyway considering the lack of cuddles. We've never slept with each other anyway since we live in different houses so this was the first time I've ever attempted

[00:11:29] to sleep with her. Again she's an awesome person who is loving in every way possible except cuddles. I have questioned my BO but I don't believe it's that considering she likes spending time with me otherwise. I never knew someone would hate cuddles but she's

[00:11:44] the one and I'm not sure what to do. Thanks in advance y'all. Now I'm guessing there could be many issues behind this you know there could be trauma there could be sensory stuff going on, body image all sorts of different paths that could

[00:11:58] be taken here. So I guess the only way for me because I mean looking at the future of your relationship are you going to be able to continue doing this at some point? I feel

[00:12:07] like for yourself something needs to change you're going to miss those cuddles at some point which is going to lead to resentment so I can only say from my perspective as always

[00:12:16] I'm not sure if it's the right one the wrong one it's just talking to her in a really non-judgmental way dropping those barriers and just saying that I can see you're uncomfortable with cuddling

[00:12:25] is there a reason why would you be open to discussing it with me? You know if it's something really traumatic she might not want to go down that path which I think you need to be

[00:12:34] a bit patient with but but there wasn't many comments on that original post. So we go straight into Opie's update which says so I read a lot of the advice and decided that I was going

[00:12:44] to talk to her about a possible breakup. I know this makes me sound like a shit person but honestly I'm just a very touchy guy and express my affection by touching and being touched. Not being able to cuddle or hold hands or sleep next to my girlfriend was

[00:12:57] not going to work out for me and just felt like a constant tease you'd get from a long distance relationship where you think about holding and cuddling your gal or guy and just

[00:13:06] don't end up doing it. Honestly it was not going to work out. I brought my girlfriend to my house after telling her we had to chat. I started by telling her that I'm really sorry

[00:13:15] and like her very much but I don't think things will work out with our different cuddling preferences. She started crying and said she didn't want me to be turned off by this but she actually loves cuddling but she has a sweating disorder. And when she cuddles she

[00:13:29] gets super sweaty like I'm talking hella sweaty. She said her ex boyfriend dumped her because of her sweating and she said that's why she didn't want to cuddle with me. She said the

[00:13:39] same thing happens when she holds hands and she gets super sweaty. She said she was afraid of cuddling with me who would make me leave her like a rex in the past. I felt bad that

[00:13:48] I've been giving her so much shit about it and it was like an insecurity she had and I told her that I don't really care if she sweats on me it's all good. She laughed and

[00:13:57] said no I actually sweat buckets and I told her can you sweat buckets on me? She thought about it and said okay but don't break up with me over it if I sweat too much in a joking

[00:14:09] voice. She laid beside me and we cuddled and it felt so fucking good to finally feel that with her. She actually managed to sweat so much that my shirt was pretty wet and the

[00:14:18] bed sheet was soaked and I told her that I found it pretty cool. She said that she is so happy that someone appreciates cuddles and doesn't mind the sweating and I was just so happy we were finally cuddling. I told her I didn't mind getting soaked cuddling

[00:14:31] and said at least now we can have kisses in the rain in bed and she couldn't stop laughing. She asked if we could hold hands in bed to show me how sweaty our hands get and again

[00:14:41] my hands were wet as hell which I didn't mind. She said if you ever need to wash your hands and there's no sink available just hold my hands which was really cute. It's been

[00:14:50] an amazing day and I'm really happy things worked out. I told her that she felt like things her ex said to her were hurting her and still making her feel insecure. She should really consider maybe seeing a therapist to help her feel more comfortable. She agreed

[00:15:04] and said that the fact that I like her sweating lifted a burden off her shoulders since she loves cuddles. Hopefully all goes well. Crystal Shipping says sweet story but I'm wondering if she's been to the doctor about this disorder. Opie says she has but it's been said it's

[00:15:22] not really something that can be cured. There's Drizol which is apparently this prescription deodorant for excessive sweating but since she can't really use it on her entire body she only puts it on her armpits. Bluetooth Magoo says seconding another user here. I

[00:15:36] got Botox in my tummy and underarms for my wedding so I wouldn't look like a care bear in my dress. It lasted for almost a year and was heaven. Also it was covered under medical.

[00:15:46] As soon as I'm no longer pregnant I'm going back for more. It was a life changer. Opie says I actually didn't know that. I should really tell her about it but I dunno man I

[00:15:55] love it when she sweats with me. I'm sure she'd love to know though. Thanks. Now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:16:13] Now our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit. Warning it doesn't have an update as yet but it's from Free Ride Am I the Arsehole saying am I the arsehole for

[00:16:22] not letting my wife hijack a free vacation. One of my 39 male hobbies is entering raffles, sweepstakes, radio contests etc. I've won tickets to concerts, sporting events, some household items, gift cards but never a grand prize like a car or vacation. Until last month

[00:16:40] when I won a free trip for 4 people to Florida for 5 nights. Obviously I was super excited and told my wife 38 female about it right away. After our initial excitement wore off and we both started talking about details it became apparent we'd conflicted ideas

[00:16:57] about this trip. Before I could even make suggestions about what I want this trip to be my wife brought up how excited her 11 year old daughter would be and how we would go

[00:17:06] to Disney, Sea World etc. She then said that we can bring our mom with to help watch her daughter so that we could have some time to ourselves. She was so excited about it and

[00:17:16] was getting wrapped up in planning things without even hearing what I wanted. I told her that all of that sounds like fun but I was thinking that we could invite another couple and have it be an adult only trip instead of bringing my step daughter and mother

[00:17:30] in law with. She did not like my idea one bit and told me that she wouldn't feel right taking a free trip like that and leaving her daughter behind. She also said that her mom

[00:17:40] has never been to Florida and this would be a perfect opportunity for her to go there. We argued back and forth a little bit before deciding to take a break and come back to

[00:17:48] it before telling anyone about it. Well that lasted about 24 hours before my wife let it slip to her daughter that I had won a trip. So of course step daughter immediately got excited about it and started looking into all the things she wants to do. I asked my

[00:18:02] wife why she told her daughter and she said it was an accident, which come on. It started a fight between us and emotions got a little high. I told her she was wrong to bring her

[00:18:13] daughter into this after we agreed to wait and that I never agreed to take step daughter or mother in law on this trip. I told her that I was the one who won the trip and she

[00:18:22] was acting like this was something specifically for her. She told me I was being selfish and that we should include those closest to us in something like this, especially when neither step daughter or mother in law have ever been to Florida. She said that bringing another

[00:18:37] couple and leaving her daughter home would be cruel, especially now she's so excited about it. I told her that her daughter is only excited about it because she decided to blab to her about it instead of waiting like we had agreed. I told her if she wants

[00:18:51] to bring her daughter and mother in law then she can also pick someone else to go with because I would rather stay home by myself and go on a vacation that where I don't get

[00:18:59] to be involved in any decisions. I said that if she wants to go on that route she certainly can but I'm not paying for any of it, we have separate finances. Now she thinks I'm

[00:19:09] being a jerk and should be happy about having a free family trip. Edit the trip is to Fort Myers not Orlando. Then she again says info, you talk about your wife and her daughter, is that not your step

[00:19:22] daughter? Are you not married to your wife? This whole thing reads like you're not really part of your own family and it's weird. Opie says yes she is my step daughter and I did refer to her that way in the post. Not

[00:19:34] sure why so many people are hung up on phrasing and using it to try and infer any deep meanings into our lives other than word choice. My step daughter and I get along fine and I love her

[00:19:45] but that doesn't mean I want to spend this trip waiting in lines at Disney or Universal. The trip isn't even to Orlando it's to Fort Myers so getting to Disney will require a lot more work than my wife thinks it will.

[00:19:57] Owls and Cardinals says not the arsehole while I see both sides of the coin. What it comes down to is that you won the trip, you should get to decide how it's used. I would certainly

[00:20:06] be bummed if my spouse won a trip and then wanted to take it without me. But that's not what's happening here and I think your wife's insistence on controlling this and her judgement of you for not having the same vision for the trip are really unfair. You

[00:20:18] aren't a bad person or a bad step father for wanting to take an adult trip. Lots of couples do this, it's not cool of her to act like you're shitty just for having another

[00:20:27] idea. I agree with you that it was especially out of line to tell her daughter, accidentally or not, about the trip because she knew that would make it harder on you. Really not cool.

[00:20:39] One other thing that really stands out to me is about how you initially only refer to your step daughter as your wife's daughter, repeated references to her daughter. I wonder if there's a dynamic in play where your wife worries your step daughter doesn't feel like

[00:20:51] she's part of the family or if the girl worries about losing her mum etc. It's a stretch based on what I'm seeing admittedly. Just thought I'd plant the seed that if you think there is anything sticky in your blended family situation that this trip is surfacing, you

[00:21:06] should talk about that separately. Toxic Childhood says your wife is delusional if she thinks it's okay to bulldoze over your potential plans. If she wants to throw an adult tantrum over not getting her away,

[00:21:17] let her. Pick some friends to go with instead. If my husband won a trip that wasn't geared specifically towards families and children, my first question would be, who can watch our child when we are gone? LOL. This trip is a perfect opportunity for you and your wife

[00:21:32] to spend quality time together and make memories. Quality time is hard with kids in the mix. There'd be plenty of opportunities once step daughter gets older to take her with. This would definitely be a hill I was willing to die on. Kids and in-laws don't have to be

[00:21:45] involved in absolutely everything and your wife told your step daughter hoping you'd cave. F**k that noise. That's extremely manipulative. Not the arsehole. Now, what do you guys make of this situation? There was a lot of talk about not taking the

[00:22:02] step daughter as well. What do you guys make of this? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:22:15] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.