Girlfriend Put An Air Tag On My Motorcycle So Her Mom Could Track Me r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider in that like, that subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a bunch of characters. I'm not sure how to pronounce it. It says, am I the arsehole here for being upset? My girlfriend put an air tag on my motorcycle to prove a point to her mom.

[00:00:31] I've never made a Reddit post on this sub before, but I read posts from here occasionally. I'm gonna make my submission as concise as possible, but I'm not a great storyteller, as this whole thing is a little more nuanced than my shitty ability to articulate it. I'm 27 male and my girlfriend is 33 female.

[00:00:51] Although our relationship started out very tense and unpredictable, we quickly developed strong feelings and have been together for three years. Despite being together that long, I just met my girlfriend's parents for the first time a few weeks ago.

[00:01:06] She is an only child and said she didn't want to introduce anyone she dated to her parents unless she knew this was the person she wanted to marry. Her parents also live abroad and due to COVID and her dad's health problems, they didn't visit her for a while. She usually went to visit them. It was a big step for her to tell me she wanted me to meet them.

[00:01:26] And I did my best to make a good impression. I was raised by my grandmother. When she passed, my older sister took over caring for me. My girlfriend had a stable upbringing. Her parents are wealthy and she's led a privileged life. We didn't have the same life experiences and it was never a problem until I met her parents. If anything, for some reason, the differences between us added to our relationship in ways.

[00:01:51] Unfortunately, I got the impression her parents were scrutinizing every aspect of my life over the dinner we had on our first meeting. And this included my family. I stayed true to myself and maintained my confidence, but left the interaction feeling like I bombed a test. My girlfriend reassured me they liked me, but her mood over the few days afterwards suggested otherwise.

[00:02:14] I called her out on it and pressed her for an explanation. I learned she's been upset because of a fight she had with her mother following the dinner. Her mother thinks I'm just having fun with her daughter. That I will get bored and leave her and she's too old to be wasting time with me. Apparently, her mother got this impression entirely from the way I look. And this judgment about me trumps anything else I shared about myself. My girlfriend and I decided to have me spend more time with her family over the coming holidays.

[00:02:43] So, I've been going over every day and involving myself in shopping trips etc. with my girlfriend and her mum. Hoping that she would get to know me and overcome whatever skepticism she has. I even spent hours getting a crash course in a strategy board game her dad plays and started playing with him to continue learning it as a form of bonding. Despite feeling like I won her dad over, I felt like her mum was constantly evaluating my loyalty in subtle, unrealistic ways.

[00:03:11] Examples include overanalyzing how I interact with others in public, reading too much into the way I smile, and the way I show affection towards my girlfriend. According to my girlfriend's mum, the fact that I have a motorcycle makes me extra slutty. And that's how this escalated. My sister and I have an 18 year old dog. It's been a tough few months for him. I think he's approaching the end. For that reason, usually one of us is always with him.

[00:03:40] He's on the smaller side, so he's easy to bring along anywhere. I've had to leave to give medicine to my dog at certain times of the day because he's on a schedule. And I guess my girlfriend's mum found even this to be suspicious. The other day, I left my girlfriend and her family to go give my dog his medicine. And on my way there, my phone alerted that an air tag was traveling with me. When I reached my place, I searched all my pockets and stuff and eventually found it on the motorcycle itself. It was connected to my girlfriend's mum's number.

[00:04:10] I told my girlfriend that my girlfriend said she put her mum's air tag on my bike to prove to her mum that I was not lying about where I was going. I get that she was trying to defend me, but I feel angry at her. It's hard to articulate, but ever since I met my girlfriend's family, microaggressions by her mum are really getting to me. And it's hard to separate them from my girlfriend. Hoping I'm just overstimulated by all this and things will get better after Christmas is over.

[00:04:36] I'm not sure if I'm an arsehole for being called towards my girlfriend about the air tag though. But it's a frustration that I'm having trouble letting go of. Nah, this is pissing me off that you're making so much effort to bond with them, etc. Which you don't have to do. And the mum's still treating you like absolute shit. And girlfriend coming up with this solution to secretly track him. That's not defending him. That's validating her mum's crazy suspicions.

[00:05:05] And then violating OP's privacy at the same time just to prove a point. I feel if she really wanted to defend him, she should have shut that shit down straight away. But the first commenter says on this one, The most foundational part of a relationship is the trust between two people. The fact that she didn't tell you about it sounds like she also wanted to see what you were doing. Because if she trusted you, she should have defended you. Parents are and have been skeptical since the first cave person brought another back to their parents.

[00:05:34] It's up to her and you to convince them otherwise. You seem to have done a lot. So it may just come down to direct face-to-face conversations with the three or four of you to really hammer this home. Otherwise, who knows what else will be done next to test your loyalty. OP says, Self Psycho says,

[00:06:04] Personally, I think you need to sit her down and address the fact that this feels like she was testing you. And if she can let her mother, who is always going to think like that because it seems like the person she is, After 20 years, she could still be saying any day now. It's not going to work out. Because all it's going to take is one small comment from her mom and you're both back in square one of your relationship. She shouldn't have to prove anything to her mom. Which is why this feels like proving to herself. You can possibly work to fix things but only with discussion.

[00:06:34] And both being honest and not letting others' opinions get in the way. OP's next post was titled, My girlfriend's parents surprised me with a visit overseas. I'm considering breaking up with her. I'm 28 male. My girlfriend is 33 female. We've been together for a few years and have discussed getting married. Unfortunately, ever since I met her parents last year, their behavior, specifically her mom, has made it difficult for me to see a future anymore. Her mom mistrusts me

[00:07:03] and it's all based on superficial impressions and assumptions about who she thinks I am. I've tried to show her parents patience and I've been extremely respectful, giving them opportunities to get to know me and overcome their prejudices. Everything came to a head when I went to visit my home country. I have a place here and I came to see a friend get married. Her parents showed up unannounced and requested a ride from the airport. I immediately called my girlfriend despite the time difference because I was in shock.

[00:07:33] She claimed she had no idea about their plans. They claim it was all impromptu, a cheap flight, last minute, etc. I just don't buy it. Anyway, I picked them up and they're currently staying with me in my apartment. They got no itinerary but want me to arrange them to see X, Y, and Z and of course they need me as a translator. Everything is apparently too foreign to them. They're lost without me. They refuse to go anywhere without me as an escort.

[00:08:00] My girlfriend is apologetic but I just don't see her supporting me in dealing with her parents, especially her mum, who is the instigator. The dad has no backbone and is forced to follow her. I posted another issue a while back too. My girlfriend doesn't support me in setting boundaries so as a partner I fall into a rock and a hard place type situation. I can't tell if I'm being cold and uninviting or if these people are crazy and my girlfriend is so afraid of them

[00:08:29] she didn't even warn me about something like this. I feel like I can handle anything if she's on my side but it doesn't feel like she is. Maybe I can't be with someone like that. Hell no. Hell no. That's all I got to say about that. Turbulent Eb says your girlfriend put an air tag on your motorbike last month to prove a point to her mother. I think it's time to either accept your fate or move on and enjoy some freedom. Barbalous Mel says and tell the parents you're in the country because your friend is getting married

[00:08:58] and your priority is your friend and anything else you want to do. They bought their plane tickets with a plan and relying on you for everything without asking you if that was okay. It's not okay and they need to leave and make their own arrangements. You are there with a purpose and that does not include being their host and tour guide. Rando J Commando says not the arsehole and don't be surprised if your girlfriend not only knew about their plan but actively participated in it. You think it's bad now? Imagine what it will be like

[00:09:28] once you're married to her and her mum. I absolutely believe that the girlfriend knew about this as well. Holy shit. But Opie came in with another update and said I just want to clarify some things. I only met my girlfriend's parents for the first time late November 2024. The reason I picked them up from the airport instead of abandoning them or telling them to go find a hotel etc was out of respect for my girlfriend and the relationship I wanted to have with her and her parents. After the first meeting

[00:09:57] I had with her parents in late November that I shared in my first post I confronted my girlfriend. She apologized and eventually her mother did too. Basically I thought we were past whatever suspicions and mistrust her mother had about me. Then this happened. In the last few days since this began I've realized some things about my relationship. My girlfriend has been trying to play both sides. She'll tell me one thing and her parents another thing. She's been hiding some deep trust issues about me and insecurities

[00:10:27] about our relationship. Mostly her fears about me being unfaithful. I want to be clear that these fears are not because of anything that I've done. It's just how she feels. She used her parents to convince me it wasn't her craziness. And I'm pretty sure she told her mum how she felt and her mum was willing to be in on it. I broke up with my girlfriend and asked her parents to leave. The friend's wedding I went to hit different because of that. But it also made me realize how unhealthy and toxic my relationship was.

[00:10:56] I haven't disclosed a lot but I think I was in an abusive relationship. I'm struggling to accept that. And there is some shame creeping up that I don't understand. Why is it there? Anyway, thanks for all the messages. Sorry my writing skills aren't that great. I'm so drained from the situation I feel like I need to sleep for a month. I don't even feel like writing about any of this. But I felt I owed you the conclusion. There was definitely abusive behaviors in there.

[00:11:26] The surveillance slash stalking if you like. Manipulation like using her parents to monitor him. Gaslighting the girlfriend denying the involvement while sort of like orchestrating the situation. And there was so much other stuff that none of it is normal relationship behaviors. And as sad as it is we've seen it in several stories in the past we've covered with abuse survivors that with people that's been abused that they do feel shame. And it's easy for me to say as always

[00:11:55] but you did nothing wrong. You was betrayed by someone you trusted. That doesn't reflect on you. Take that time of rest that you mentioned focus on your healing and know that you made the right call protecting yourself. Craghack says to that one to be honest it might have been for the best that they showed up and made you realize how bad your relationship was for you. Now you will not waste any more time in a relationship that is not good. So the pain is big now but the future will become better.

[00:12:26] Hope Inc. says yeah exactly sometimes it takes something drastic to open your eyes to what's really going on. That's an interesting comment because one of the most one of the recent stories that we've covered involved someone that was being abused and you know they were struggling to see it but it took one moment where the guy stole some of her kitchen utensils and she was like what the fuck and it sort of opened her eyes. Rusty Shackleford said I'm sorry this happened. This is actually insane that a parent showed up

[00:12:55] and expected you to play tour guide with zero warning. You've done the right thing getting out of that. Desire My Fire says it sounds like that trip was her parents checking up on him for her because of her insecurities. Glad he bailed on that shit. OP says it was definitely to investigate me. I don't think I ever know what my ex-girlfriend and her mum were suspicious about. Did they think I'm secretly married or living some kind of second life? I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to look into my employment history etc. I feel so stupid

[00:13:25] for the kindness I extended to them. I tried to be understanding of every transgression and let my girlfriend gaslight me into thinking I was just misunderstanding things because I didn't have parents growing up. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Mission Atmosphere 16 and it says am I the arsehole for cutting my wife's stepmother off from my kids

[00:13:55] until she deletes her Instagram account. My wife and I have two children eight male and five female and we're expecting a third. Since our eldest was born we've been clear and consistent about not wanting pictures of them posted online. It was my wife's idea but still a mutual decision. Most of our friends and family have no problem with that but we've had problems with my wife's stepmother. She has on several occasions posted photos of her children on her Instagram account without our consent.

[00:14:26] Most are harmless pictures of her with them or family photos with more people in them but there have been a few times she took pictures of the kids behind their backs and posted them. Every time we see a photo of our children on her Instagram page we tell her to delete it. She always does but the next time she sees them it happens again. We've been having this discussion with her since our daughter was born. She never listens. Anyway, my family spent New Year's Eve at a rented beach house with some of my wife's paternal family.

[00:14:56] We returned home on January 1st. That same day my wife's stepmother posted several pictures from the trip. Buried between them were three photos of our kids on the beach. They're both wearing swimsuits and except for one of the pictures, don't seem aware they're being photographed. My wife and I talked and we both agreed we've given her stepmother enough chances. As long as she's active on social media, she'll continue posting pictures of our children without our consent. We called her yesterday and said that she won't be allowed to

[00:15:25] see our kids unless she deletes her Instagram account. That means she won't have any contact with them, receive pictures or be invited to their events. She cried during the call and tried to promise us she would delete the New Year's Eve post and never do anything like this again. But we told her we can't trust her. She can keep her account if she wants to, but she won't be allowed near our kids if she does. My father-in-law, who is also against posting pictures of children on social media, called my wife last night.

[00:15:54] He agreed that her stepmother crossed the line, but said cutting her off from our children was an exaggeration. He said she's just started to make money with social media, but she also loves our kids very much and it's cruel to force her to choose. I don't think we're in the wrong here, but I'm still worried we're taking this too far. Am I the asshole here? More info on the mother-in-law's social media habits. She currently has 60k followers on Instagram. I genuinely have no

[00:16:24] idea how easy that would be to rebuild. She started doing this around the same time my daughter was born. She eased up during the pandemic, though it's probably because we barely sent her pictures of them then, but went back to it as soon as she started seeing the kids again. She's taken pictures of our children behind our backs before. We've told her to stop several times. It never worked. Someone says,

[00:17:01] Opi says, I don't think it's genuine. She's been apologizing and saying she'd stopped for five years. I've heard a hundred different excuses for posting pictures of my children. It was an accident. I forgot you guys didn't like this. It was so cute. I couldn't help myself. My wife is not close with her stepmother. She started dating father-in-law when my wife was 20. A downvoted comment says, If you're that worried about your kids' safety, then lock them up somewhere till they reach adulthood. A couple of pics will cause you to cut out your mother-in-law.

[00:17:31] She's better off. I hope you never need her for anything in your life. Plus, poor kids not letting them see their grandma. I hope they remember when they get older what you did. Opi says, I'm certain I'll never need anything from her. My kids don't think of her as a grandmother. They call her by her first name and only see her where my father-in-law is around. The commenter says, You're the arsehole. I understand wanting some privacy. Unless your children wear full face covers when they're outside, then I think you're overreacting. There's cameras

[00:18:01] everywhere, which means your children have been on camera more times than you can count. Are their friends allowed to post pictures of them online? Bet they do. Just tell mother-in-law that she doesn't get to see the kids. You don't get to give an ultimatum and have her delete her shit because you're weird about pictures. So stop being an arsehole and just tell her she can't see them. You don't get to tell her to delete her account to fulfill your silly wishes. Opi responds saying, Street cameras and social media are two different things.

[00:18:30] My children's friends are nine and under. Their parents are not allowed to post pictures of them either. I don't see how not wanting pictures of my kids posted online could be a silly wish. Commenter says, I think you need to be clear on what the sanctions will be if she initially pretends to go along with the request but changes her mind. For example, you could say that if any photos are subsequently posted or discovered to be posted, we will not only cut her off but also her husband. We will never see his grandchildren again and it will be entirely her fault.

[00:19:01] Opi says, if she told us she'd delete her account and then changed her mind afterwards, we'd cut her off for good. No arguing about it and no second chances. I'd have to talk to my wife before cutting her father off. But Opi came in with her update and said, hey folks, I thought I'd give you an update. I think I got into a lot of detail in the comments but I feel I should mention the following. My wife's stepmother is 45. I'm not bullying the elderly here. She has 60k followers on Instagram. Her Instagram is not focused solely on my children.

[00:19:31] She started out as a lifestyle blogger. A few years ago she started posting family stuff as well and now at least half of her content revolves around that. She tries to post pictures of my kids every time she takes them. Almost every time we see her she posts a new picture. She's also posted more photos of my daughter than of my son. Both me and my wife are on Instagram but not very actively. She has a private account and another one for her job. I only have my personal account in which I rarely post anything.

[00:20:01] Neither of us have posted our children's faces in any of these accounts. My wife doesn't see her stepmother as a parent. She started dating my father-in-law when my wife was 20 and they're not very close. My children don't see her as a grandmother either. This isn't about me looking for a reason to cut ties with my in-laws. I get along very well with my wife's father and besides her behavior concerning social media I have no problem with her stepmother. I really shouldn't have to explain why me and my wife don't want pictures of our children online.

[00:20:31] If you're a parent who has no problem with others posting photos of your kids that's fine. I'm not here to change your mind nor would I attempt to if I were. Your decisions regarding your children are your own as are mine. None of us live in the United States. I read your comments and talked things through with my wife. As upset as we are about this we feel the need to deal with it fairly. So we take into consideration that one her stepmother's account is not focused solely on our children and two

[00:21:00] we have never threatened her with loss of contact before so our ultimatum might have been too sudden. That said we're still not comfortable with our children being posted on social media and we regret not effectively stopping this sooner. So however we move forward we need to make it clear that we're serious about this boundary. A few days ago my wife and I met her father and stepmother at their place. We left the kids with my wife's mother. We sat them down and told them that it would retract the ultimatum but we don't trust her stepmother not to sneak pictures

[00:21:30] of our children again. We decided to propose something many of you suggested a no phone policy which we would all abide by. Whenever my wife's stepmother saw our kids she would no longer receive any pictures of them from anyone and if she ever posted a photo of our children anywhere again then we would cut her off from them. My father and Laura agreed right away but his wife got offended. She said we couldn't control how she used her phone. She tried to promise us she'd stop posting the kids again but we said no.

[00:21:59] We can't trust her anymore and we have no intention of giving her more chances. The four of us had an argument about this. My father-in-law mostly took our side. It lasted a while. My wife's stepmother started by apologizing but eventually started trying to defend herself. She told us she always thought we were overreacting and that lots of people post pictures of their children online every day without any problems. We asked her why she was so insistent on posting pictures of our kids. She tried to dodge the question at first

[00:22:28] but she admitted that the post with the kids got more engagement. She used the New Year's post as an example. It was only up for a little over 24 hours before she took it down but she claimed it was one of her most successful posts ever. When I asked her why she thought that had happened she said it was because the kids look so cute in them. My wife looked at her stepmother and said no it's because they're barely dressed in them. You cannot convince us that a photo of a five-year-old daughter in a swimsuit is getting attention

[00:22:57] from thousands of strangers because she's cute. Either you're an idiot or you know what you're doing by posting these pictures. She started crying. She said her content was wholesome. Her followers were good people and we had no right to control her like that. My father-in-law was silent. That's when we gave up. We told her to keep her Instagram but accept she is losing access to our kids. She tried more excuses including some of my followers think they're my kids which my wife is especially furious about

[00:23:26] but stood our ground and went home. My father-in-law called me and my wife later that night. He told us he was disappointed in his wife and was taking our side. We're not sure how to deal with him. Neither of us want to cut him off but we're not certain we can trust him. My wife just told him we needed some space and he said that was fine. I'm exhausted and my wife is doing even worse but we've spoken about this so we're both also relieved. We've still got work to do but nothing we can't handle.

[00:23:56] For now we have two amazing children and a baby on the way and they will always be our number one priority. Thank you for all your support. I'm busy with the kids so I can't promise I'll reply to as many comments this time but I'll do my best. Commenter says Bruh her account is public she's pretending to be their mum. Yeah stepmother-in-law is cut off I'm deciding for you. Opie says she didn't really get into the some of my followers think they're my kids thing. That was literally all she said

[00:24:26] but I'm inclined to believe it was more of a mistake she didn't correct than an actual lie she told them. My wife and I saw every post she made of our children and she never claimed they were hers in the description. Commenter says I would stick with a no phone policy with your wife's father and not send him any photos of any of your kids. Any visit has to be supervised and under circumstances that you can fully control. I'm sorry to say this but your wife's father sounds like a hypocrite. He is against posting children's photos on social media

[00:24:55] but did not actively stop his wife from posting photos of his grandkids on social media. What is worse was one of his young grandkids in swimsuits? We'll take a very long time before I can trust him if at all. Opie says that's why we're not certain how to proceed here. We don't want to cut him off but we can't ignore the fact that it took him five years and an argument with his wife for him to start siding with us. Most likely we'll lower our contact with him for a while. Someone says did you make her delete all the existing pictures of them?

[00:25:24] Opie says we made her delete every picture she posted of them. My wife would check her account frequently to make sure. Moving forward Opie says I'll be fine. I'm mostly worried about my wife. She's six months pregnant and busy at work so I don't want her to feel stressed right now. If this happens again we're reporting it. Some people here have said Instagram tends to take these things seriously. To be honest I think she does understand and is doing this on purpose. This has been a problem for five years now.

[00:25:54] It got even worse a few months ago when she started getting a couple of minor brand deals. to explain why we have this boundary countless times and she never made any effort to respect it. That is absolutely wild and yeah I wouldn't have that stepmother anywhere near your kids. You gave her ample opportunity to change your ways to be around the children but she chose not to which is really concerning. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts

[00:26:23] down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.