Girlfriend Ignored & Blocked Me Whilst I Had A Medical Emergency, She Was Clubbing r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. If you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:17] story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from the Am I The Arsehole Here subreddit from nearby volume 7067 and says, Would I be the arsehole for dumping my girlfriend after she ignored my calls and messages and went clubbing while I was undergoing emergency surgery?

[00:00:38] I 22M and my girlfriend 22F have been together for 5 years. We've been together since high school and until recently I've always considered her to be my future wife. I've even bought a ring and was planning on proposing over the coming months. Well, last weekend it was

[00:00:55] my girlfriend's best friend's birthday. She and her friends booked a private lounge at a club. Obviously I didn't go since 1. I wasn't invited and 2. I hate clubbing or anything associated with that. I was actually looking forward to spending an evening alone

[00:01:11] and just binging Netflix or something. Well, my girlfriend left around 9pm and I just crashed on the couch and watched YouTube. Well, around 11pm I started to feel this distinct stomach pain, the same pain you experience when someone hits you in the nuts. It wasn't bad at first

[00:01:29] and I just thought my whole body was playing some tricks on me. But in the span of about 5 minutes, the pain just kept getting worse until I was basically stuck in the fetal position

[00:01:38] on the couch. Again, initially I just thought the pain would go, but then I pulled down my pants and it felt like my right testicle was starting to swell. The moment I tried to get

[00:01:50] up and grab my phone to inspect whatever the fuck was happening to me, I just collapsed to the floor. That was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Imagine being

[00:01:59] pelted in the nuts over and over again. I did manage to crawl to the table next to the couch to get my phone. I immediately tried calling my girlfriend but she declined my call. I then texted her that something was wrong and she should come home immediately.

[00:02:14] The club she went to was like a 5 minute walk from our apartment. I just put the phone down and started throwing up because of the pain. After throwing up for like a minute, it felt

[00:02:24] like the pain started to cool down a bit and I grabbed my phone again. That's when I saw her response. She just replied with a what is it? Is it a side eye emoji? I googled

[00:02:34] it as one that expresses disappointment or disbelief or something along those lines and says I tried calling her again, but as expected she just declined again. I then text her that

[00:02:44] I need to go to the hospital now. She then asked for what? And I just replied with my balls hurt. I then just dialed for emergency services. I explained my situation to the emergency responder and she asked if there was somebody that could drive me to the hospital

[00:02:58] and I stupidly said yes. I thought my girlfriend would be home soon and she would drive me to the hospital. I felt embarrassed to call an ambulance because my balls hurt. After I told the emergency responder this, she then told me that she would call me again

[00:03:12] in 10 minutes to make sure I was being driven to the hospital. I then put down the phone and went back to vomiting on our carpet. Again, after the pain went away for a bit,

[00:03:22] I checked my phone and saw that my girlfriend just responded with laughing emojis. I again tried to call her but as expected she just declined again. She texted me that this wasn't

[00:03:33] the time to play games. And then she told me that if I text or called her again, she would block my number. I again tried calling her but she declined again. When I tried calling

[00:03:43] her a second time, I realized she's actually blocking me. I went back to curling up on the floor and now I started shivering. At this point, I didn't care about being embarrassed and I just called emergency services again and asked for an ambulance. It felt like an

[00:03:59] eternity but the ambulance eventually came and rushed me to the hospital. I don't remember much of the surgery since I was sedated but I remember waking up eventually and my right testicle was being stitched together. The doctor informed me that I had a testicular

[00:04:13] torsion and I was extremely lucky to reach the hospital in time. I could have easily been forced to surgically remove my testicle. I checked my phone and saw the missed calls and messages my girlfriend left me. In summary, she came home from clubbing and smelled the

[00:04:28] vomit in our apartment. When she saw the vomit on our carpet, she got mad and tried searching the apartment to find me. When she realized I wasn't there, only then did it hit her

[00:04:38] that I was actually being serious. I just texted her which hospital I was staying in and my room number then went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and saw my girlfriend sleeping

[00:04:47] on the couch next to my bed. After she woke up, she started bombarding me with apologies. She thought I was joking and I was trying to ruin their night etc. I didn't have the

[00:04:57] energy to argue so I just kept quiet. I was beyond hurt by what she did and I wanted to break up with her then and there. Why the fuck would someone ignore messages when their

[00:05:08] partner is begging them to come home? Not only that, she stayed in the club until 3am and didn't even consider going home to check on me. She did stay with me in the hospital

[00:05:17] for the remaining 2 days I was admitted there and did take good care of me. But I was still beyond pissed at her. Ever since coming home yesterday, I've been wanting to dump her

[00:05:27] but at the same time I feel like she genuinely thought I was joking and made a mistake. I feel conflicted and don't know how to proceed in this situation. Would I be the asshole if I dumped her? Am I overreacting? How would you guys navigate this mess?

[00:05:45] Just to clarify, no, I never had an issue with her going out in the first place or have ever pulled pranks for her to come home from a night out. By the way, thank you guys so much for the support. I'm beyond blown away.

[00:05:58] Couple of comments on this one, so Pancho says This is a weird one. If someone texts me telling me they need to go to the hospital because their balls hurt, I'd think they were out of their mind. If they text me telling me

[00:06:08] they're in excruciating pain, vomiting on the floor and feeling like their balls are being repeatedly ripped from their body, I'd be there in minutes. Local record says not the asshole. Not walking a total 10 minutes to check on your SO after

[00:06:23] your text is nuts unless you've cried wolf before. Edit, I'm not insinuating it was a reoccurring event. I don't condone drunk driving. Walking to check on OP was what I said and meant. Sadwind says

[00:06:38] Even if she thought you were joking, you deserved a phone call. Your partner should be worried about you vs. why are you ruining my night? Have you ever done this before? She could have called to confirm something was or was not wrong when you said hospital.

[00:06:53] I'd really consider if you want to continue this relationship. She prioritized partying over a phone call, heard hospital and still blocked you. I was planning on yelling about the vomiting. I wish you well in your healing. Low Beam says

[00:07:07] Former paramedic here. Dude when you're in that level of pain don't call your fucking girlfriend. Call emergency services. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Oh and not the asshole but your girlfriend is. On the back of this comment someone suggests that they have a strong disconnect in communication

[00:07:24] styles if they get married before figuring it out they're going to blame each other. To which someone replies saying what is her communication style in this scenario? To which another commenter says I don't think there's enough info on how they communicate. My wife

[00:07:37] absolutely would laugh at me if I said my balls hurt. I would also drop everything if I told her I was serious. If OP has never had an emergency in this relationship especially being so young it's not unreasonable

[00:07:49] to assume their girlfriend thought it was a joke. This can be an excellent moment for discussions OP. She did stay by you and clearly feels awful about her initial reaction. You never need a reason to end the relationship but if you have a desire to stay, use this

[00:08:03] as a chance to set up clearer communication. Jokes are well and good but blocking is too far going forward. That also means when you are joking you need clarity on what's too far. So blocking isn't required. Not the arsehole. Sorry someone cast testicular torsion on you.

[00:08:20] I don't know if it's me or this one but I went back and looked over it and everyone seems to be focused on this the reply with my balls hurt. But according to the post that

[00:08:30] wasn't OP's first text. They said at first he tried phoning the girlfriend she declined the call and then he texted saying that something was wrong and she should come home immediately. Instead of being concerned and calling OP she just replies with what is it with this

[00:08:46] like side eye emoji and then continued to decline his calls after that. So OP followed up with the text that he needs to go to the hospital now and then she asked for what and

[00:08:57] OP said balls hurt. I think like the comment says and obviously I'm not bashing on OP because he's probably panicking and all sorts going on in his mind at that moment but probably should have been on the phone to the emergency services first. But after that very first

[00:09:11] text from OP where it says I then texted that something was wrong and she should come home immediately. If any of my family members text me something like that I would be instantly concerned and trying to sort out what I can phoning them immediately. So anything after

[00:09:27] that anyway is just crap to me. Maybe I'm focusing a bit too much on this but the blocking as well just seemed like this huge leap. That seems like a big thing to me being blocked

[00:09:38] by your partner. That seems wild to me and there's a few comments saying if there was a history of doing this etc etc but. OP came in with an update 5 days later and says first of all I just want to thank you

[00:10:25] all for the amazing support. It's been quite overwhelming to be honest. I have so many unread messages so please guys give me some time. I promise I'll respond to all of them. First of all I would like to clear up some misconceptions brewing in the comment section

[00:10:41] of my last post. No I've never pulled any malicious pranks on my girlfriend to get her to come home early from a night out or anything. Neither do I have an issue with her going

[00:10:50] out as long as she doesn't come home at like 6am and no I've never blown up her phone like that while she was out with friends. We usually go out together since we share the same friend

[00:11:01] groups. Here are mine and her messages from whatsapp in order since people thought I just text her my balls hurt or something. OP said and declined her first two calls. Her name please come home something is wrong. She replied ? can't talk right now what is it with the

[00:11:19] side eye emoji. OP tries calling again and says I need to go to the hospital. She puts ? what? OP comes in again tries calling her twice and says my balls hurt please come now

[00:11:31] something is wrong. She sent a bunch of laughing emojis. OP tries calling her again twice after calling the emergency services. She replies saying I swear don't bother me again or I'm blocking you let me fucking enjoy my night out. OP tries calling her again twice and

[00:11:48] got blocked. At this point the pain was too bad and try anything with her anymore and he just calls an ambulance. The next message after unblocking him at 2am was ? his name why the fuck is there vomit

[00:12:01] in the living room and where the fuck are you. Why is the front door unlocked if you left somewhere. OP then continues she then went into full mental breakdown as she realized I was being serious about going to the hospital. Over 70 messages. Yes it was stupid of me

[00:12:16] to expect her to drive me to the hospital since she was drinking but again in that type of pain you don't think clearly. I think I needed her more for moral support and I

[00:12:25] did it out of pure instinct. Not immediately calling an ambulance was also stupid of me. I was in a lot of pain but stupidly at the time thought that whatever I was going through would eventually calm down and driving to the hospital would be better than calling

[00:12:38] an ambulance. Also in hindsight me being embarrassed about calling an ambulance over my balls was definitely also really stupid. The amount of mental gymnastics some of you did in my comments to paint me as some sort of dweeb or emotionally needy person for bothering

[00:12:53] my girlfriend was truly mind blowing to me. I promise you if my girlfriend was in my position and I ignored her none of you would be defending me. Now for the update. Thanks for all those who wished me a speedy

[00:13:06] recovery I'm doing much better now. Not being able to go to work for the next 3 weeks is definitely a bummer. I work for my dads construction company and my job requires lifting a lot

[00:13:17] of heavy weights. I'm also prohibited from having any sex for the next 2-3 weeks as well. I might have also developed some trauma due to the pain. I randomly get the same sensation again and it's driving me nuts. As for me and my girlfriend it's complicated.

[00:13:38] As so many of you and my mom told me 5 years is definitely a long time to be just throwing away without having a proper conversation with her. So I did just that. I told her how hurt I felt by everything. I mention the following points.

[00:13:53] Her ignoring my messages and declining my calls. Yes clubs are loud but where I'm from there are smoking areas where you can definitely have a conversation over the phone. Blocking me after I tried calling her. Her not checking on me once even though the club

[00:14:07] she went to is only a 5 minute walk from our apartment. Her being angry about the vomit instead of being concerned. After hearing that she got defensive and told me that I could have conveyed my situation better and that she genuinely

[00:14:19] thought I was joking. She was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly. She also told me that it couldn't have been that painful and I was over exaggerating. I then told her yes I could have phrased my messages better and I apologized for that

[00:14:33] but then I described the pain I was in and told her that I barely had the strength to text her let alone send her a detailed description of what was happening to me and definitely couldn't think straight throughout everything. After hearing what I said she started crying

[00:14:46] and apologizing for what she did. She told me if she knew how serious it was we wouldn't have been having this conversation. She then also apologized for her being mad over the vomit. According to her she was drunk and tired and was just expressing frustration.

[00:15:01] I then asked her why she thought I was joking and if she was cheating on me because this was seriously out of character for her hence why I immediately trusted her with this. She

[00:15:11] started crying harder and she looked like I just slapped her in the face. She told me that she just thought I was being insecure about her being in a club with a bunch of

[00:15:19] guys and no she wasn't cheating on me and would never do something like that. We then hugged for a solid 10 minutes after that. The next part was really hard for me but I

[00:15:28] told her I need some space to gather my thoughts and told her she needs to stay with her parents for the time being. She immediately started having a mental breakdown and asked if I was

[00:15:38] breaking up with her. I told her I wasn't sure and needed time to see if I still trusted her after all of this and what she did was beyond disrespectful. How could I trust someone

[00:15:48] with my life after they pulled something like this? I then told her that we are young and this mess was mostly caused by our immaturity. This entire situation was an important life lesson for both of us regardless if we stayed together. After begging a bit more she then

[00:16:03] put her head down and started packing a few essentials. Before leaving she told me she'd be willing to do anything to make up for this and that I could take as much time as I needed.

[00:16:12] She then gave me a big kiss and left. That was 2 days ago and this is where we currently stand. I still give her updates on my healing but besides that we don't contact each other.

[00:16:23] I'm really torn right now. I still don't have that trust in her but her owning up to her mistakes shows that she's shown she fucked up and is remorseful. This is definitely something out of the ordinary for her but there will have to be major boundaries and

[00:16:36] new rules set. I can think of the following. 1. If she blocks me again for anything equals blocking herself from ever seeing me again. 2. Ignoring my messages will not be tolerated anymore 3. If she goes out alone again she has to

[00:16:52] pick up if I call regardless of the situation 4. As many of you suggested having an emergency code like hospital or something would probably have to be implemented. I'm not going to abuse

[00:17:03] any of these boundaries but I just want peace of mind knowing that my partner has my best interests at heart. Even when she is physically not around me but I don't know. Again I just

[00:17:13] want to thank you guys for everything and this whole experience was definitely an eye opener for me. Should I get back together with her? If yes would my demands be reasonable and could I add something more? Would I be the asshole

[00:17:26] if I dumped her over this whole saga? So a couple of top comments from that update. One says I'm in doesn't mean you need to stay with someone. That just delays the ending of it

[00:17:35] if you think you can't get past not trusting her. You would not be an asshole if you chose to end it. You'd also not be one if you decided to give it a go. You need to go with your gut. I personally would have a hard time getting

[00:17:48] past someone blocking me when we are in a relationship. That level of petty would be too much for me. To me that does not imply a partnership and I need a partnership with my significant other. This October will be my 30th anniversary of being married and if

[00:18:02] you blocked me or did not pick up when I made multiple calls, that would be a trust broken and I'm not sure I'd be able to get past that. ThatBinch's Rose says

[00:18:11] When I woke my partner up in the middle of the night for him, it was 9am and he got off at work at 5am. In pain so bad all I could communicate was, something is wrong. He dropped

[00:18:22] everything to help me. He drove me to the hospital, called my parents for me, explained what had been going on to the doctors, advocated for me to get pain meds and stayed with me

[00:18:31] the entire time. That's what a caring partner should do. If a partner doesn't help, ok maybe they can't. If my partner even called me twice in a row, I drop everything to answer

[00:18:41] or call back. If for some reason I can't, I'll text him. Your partner is a million red flags disguised as a human I think. Wide comment says but also, I'd never be able

[00:18:52] to recover from this if this happened to me. We were having a medical emergency and she's still trying to blame you for not communicating clearly. And let's not forget playing down OP's pain as well saying oh it couldn't have been that bad.

[00:19:05] And many of the comments below this one talking about when the trust is gone, what is that. Other people saying they wouldn't blame you for any choice you make whether you get

[00:19:14] with her and give it another go or this is over for you but obviously don't get together if you can't trust her anymore. I'm likely thinking about this too much but I still can't look past the actual blocking part. Imagine blocking a partner on your phone. Has anyone

[00:19:27] else ever done that? I don't know it just came across as really weird to me. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.