Friends Invited Us To Dinner And Stuck Us With A Bill Over $1000 r/Relationships

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[00:00:39] My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories and if you do love

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[00:00:56] Today's first story comes from Johnny Salad from the Am I Wrong subreddit and says Am I

[00:01:02] wrong for being blindsided by a friend's birthday dinner costing me $1,100?

[00:01:10] Absolutely not.

[00:01:12] But slow down Mark.

[00:01:14] Let's read the story first.

[00:01:15] So OP says birthday dinner for a friend cost $540 per person.

[00:01:22] My wife and I were invited to a major city to celebrate a friend's 40th.

[00:01:27] There were two days in the schedule but we could only attend one because of my work schedule.

[00:01:31] We went to a fancy dinner and expected it to be over the top and expensive because

[00:01:36] it's their 40th birthday and they have high paying jobs and like to splurge.

[00:01:42] We met everyone at dinner at a fancy restaurant and found out it was a family style six

[00:01:47] course meal.

[00:01:48] When the check came our friend's wife put it all on her card and we assumed the bill

[00:01:53] would be split up afterwards.

[00:01:55] We knew it would be expensive but we were okay with it.

[00:01:58] Went out for drinks after, slept at our hotel and drove back the next day.

[00:02:03] Today our friend's wife messages us the total minus tax in gratuity.

[00:02:08] Split between the 13 of us was $540 per person.

[00:02:15] We figured on the high end because we'd spend maybe half that for both of us.

[00:02:19] We really thought more like $300 total for both of us based on the quality of the food.

[00:02:24] I'm pretty offended that it wasn't communicated ahead of time that this meal was going to

[00:02:29] be a fucking mortgage payment.

[00:02:32] What do I do here?

[00:02:34] Edit 1, expect to spend a lot of money going out with these friends.

[00:02:37] We've gone out several times but an evening cost us $250 to $300 per couple but never

[00:02:44] anything like $1100 just for dinner.

[00:02:48] Edit 2, thanks everyone for the comments.

[00:02:50] It's got a much bigger response and I thought it would.

[00:02:53] I want to respond to some common comments on here.

[00:02:56] We truly did not expect the host to pay for dinner.

[00:03:00] Based on previous events in dinners with this group we expected to pay for our own

[00:03:04] meal and drinks.

[00:03:05] When the bill came, the host, birthday boy's wife grabbed the bill and paid it

[00:03:10] with her card.

[00:03:11] We were surprised that it looked like she was paying but now a couple of days later

[00:03:15] she's sending out bills to couples for their portion of an even split of the dinner.

[00:03:19] It was not discussed that there would only be one check for the group.

[00:03:24] Some of our other friends who came with us and were in on all the same communications

[00:03:28] leading up to this dinner were also completely surprised by their total amount of the

[00:03:31] meal.

[00:03:32] If it matters they are very well off and still got sticker shock.

[00:03:36] This is validating for me because they've been with us in this group for many

[00:03:40] years with this couple and did not expect this outcome.

[00:03:43] They got a bill for both nights that totaled just shy of $2,000 for food and drinks on

[00:03:49] tabs that were paid at the time by the host couple.

[00:03:52] For those saying we should have asked ahead of time I guess this is where I get hung

[00:03:57] up.

[00:03:58] We were anticipating a range based on many meals with this group including

[00:04:02] birthday dinners.

[00:04:03] Like would we reach out to the host and ask?

[00:04:05] This isn't going to cost us more than $1,000 is it?

[00:04:08] Every past experience was substantially lower 60 to 70% less.

[00:04:13] We haven't asked for an itemized receipt yet but looked up the cost of the family style

[00:04:18] dinner per person.

[00:04:20] Based on what we ate and drank our total come to around $700.

[00:04:24] To be honest I would have been surprised by that amount but we were asked to pay

[00:04:29] $400 more than that and I think as many have pointed out we're getting charged

[00:04:34] for others wine choices.

[00:04:36] We will either just send an amount or ask for an itemized bill as many have recommended.

[00:04:41] I believe our next course is as many have recommended to pay for what we have had and

[00:04:46] distance ourselves from these people will just never accept another invitation.

[00:04:51] Edit 3

[00:04:52] My wife contacted the restaurant and it turns out there is a minimum per person

[00:04:55] charge that works out to $530 after taxing gratuity for reservations the size of our

[00:05:01] group.

[00:05:02] This is $200 per person more than we consumed and the host never told us about it

[00:05:08] even when contacting us for payment.

[00:05:10] The host would have been aware prior to inviting us because she had to agree to it

[00:05:14] for the size of group.

[00:05:16] The restaurant doesn't do reservations for that size of party and has to make

[00:05:20] special arrangements.

[00:05:22] So there was a couple of comments with responses from AP.

[00:05:25] One commenter said I would need proof before I paid $1,100 for dinner.

[00:05:31] Another commenter says have a feeling the host ordered some expensive wine which jacked

[00:05:35] at the price of dinner.

[00:05:36] OP says I did see some bottles of wine come out.

[00:05:39] My wife and I had two cocktails each.

[00:05:43] Another commenter says not wrong, not the arsehole.

[00:05:45] I don't know if things are usually different in the upper echelons of society but to

[00:05:49] us peasants and peons.

[00:05:52] Planning for expensive things means communicating accurate and prompt expected cost beforehand.

[00:05:57] OP says the funny thing is that while these people are well off, I know people that have

[00:06:02] way more money.

[00:06:04] Wall Street vacations in Italy, second home in New England and would never assume that

[00:06:08] everyone in the party would be down for a $500 to $550 per person without disgusting

[00:06:13] it first.

[00:06:14] And another commenter says to be fair people who host to or actually rich would pay

[00:06:19] for the whole thing not split the bill.

[00:06:21] If I invite my friends to an event for my birthday I cover the whole bill.

[00:06:25] It's pretty tacky to invite people to celebrate your birthday and stick them with a 1K bill.

[00:06:31] With all the extra edits and stuff going on it kind of felt like you know and she paid

[00:06:36] the bill up front and then sends out just bills to everyone without it being itemized

[00:06:41] at all not so no one knows what they're actually paying for.

[00:06:44] It feels like there's probably like some of the comments saying a lot of expensive

[00:06:50] drinks on that bill.

[00:06:51] A lot of wine that OP and partner probably didn't drink any of because it says they only

[00:06:56] drank like a couple of cocktails each.

[00:06:59] And in a restaurant where the bill for 13 people is coming over $7,000 here I imagine

[00:07:05] there's going to be some expensive wine there too.

[00:07:08] Obviously I don't know the full ins and outs but that's what it feels to me.

[00:07:11] But OP did update their posts and says first off if you're interested in the

[00:07:15] full story please check the original post.

[00:07:18] We, my wife and I wish we had done more research of course.

[00:07:22] We didn't because we've gone to plenty of expensive to us meals with this couple from

[00:07:27] anywhere from $100 to $300.

[00:07:30] With $300 being the absolute most we've ever spent.

[00:07:33] And have an expectation that our friends will communicate if something was going to

[00:07:36] be substantially different than what we are used to.

[00:07:40] Our mistake.

[00:07:41] The majority of the comments mirrored our feelings that this minimum or even the

[00:07:46] average ticket price of the restaurant should have been communicated by the

[00:07:49] host ahead of time and that this lack of communication is bizarre and pretty tacky.

[00:07:53] There were lots of comments saying that we should have looked up the menu etc.

[00:07:58] And obviously in hindsight we wish we had.

[00:08:01] The reality is that even if we had looked at the menu, this was unbeknownst to us

[00:08:06] a special event and our host selected a prefix menu with a table minimum that

[00:08:11] they did not communicate to us or anyone else.

[00:08:14] The guests in our group were just as surprised by the final amount.

[00:08:18] Many of the comments said not to pay them at all, which I could not seriously consider.

[00:08:23] Even though I'm upset by the situation I totally intend to pay our own way.

[00:08:27] Just not be stuck paying for other people's expensive tastes.

[00:08:31] Which is why we ended up texting the host that we were very surprised by the

[00:08:34] total price and asked to see a copy of the receipt.

[00:08:37] To her credit she sent it right away.

[00:08:39] To confirm the minimum price for the table and that others in the group had

[00:08:43] ordered very expensive wine and drinks that brought the overall bill up and above the minimum.

[00:08:48] We added up our total which hilariously comes to $666.

[00:08:54] So that's what we're sending them.

[00:08:56] Approximately $430 less than what they initially requested.

[00:09:00] Not sure where this leaves the friendship but we won't be accepting dinner invitations

[00:09:05] anytime soon.

[00:09:06] My wife and I had a blast reading your responses and appreciate all of your perspectives.

[00:09:12] We'll be cooking dinner at home for a while.

[00:09:14] Scotty comes straight in and says $666.

[00:09:19] The mark of the feast.

[00:09:22] And I kind of felt partly like some OP said at the start that they should have checked

[00:09:26] you know the menu etc.

[00:09:28] You know scoped it out.

[00:09:30] I kind of agree with that as well.

[00:09:31] I think there's something I would do beforehand for sure just to make sure it's something

[00:09:35] that I actually like the food there for one.

[00:09:37] There's many restaurants that like just serve a lot of fish dishes and

[00:09:41] I can't deal with the smell being in that when I'm trying to eat other food.

[00:09:45] And I have a friend that invites me and some other friends to go to London to a particular

[00:09:51] restaurant he likes on some expensive street you know and it's just the prices are way

[00:09:57] out of my range and I know just in general the atmosphere is not something that I would

[00:10:02] enjoy and there's many people that will get into it so you know I'm not criticizing

[00:10:06] it at all but I just know it wouldn't be for me at the same time.

[00:10:10] But I could also see where people coming from you know expecting the host to relay some information

[00:10:14] here to be split in that kind of bill like that when they haven't spent that amount of

[00:10:19] money I'd be embarrassed to send that bill to someone expecting someone to pay $400 more

[00:10:26] than what they ate and drank that night is just absolutely insane to me.

[00:10:32] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:10:34] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:10:37] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:39] Let's move on to another story.

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[00:11:51] This one comes from the Am I Wrong subreddit.

[00:11:58] It does have an update as well from heftyhumor5119 and says am I wrong for resenting my

[00:12:05] pregnant sister?

[00:12:07] I 31 female and getting married in September to my long time love.

[00:12:12] I have a twin sister Sarah 31 female and an older sister Claire 33 female who are both

[00:12:20] my matrons of honor.

[00:12:21] My older sister Claire got married in 2017 and my twin Sarah got married in 2019.

[00:12:29] The three of us are close and we get along generally pretty well but my twin and I tread

[00:12:34] lightly around Claire.

[00:12:36] For example Claire got married in April 2017 and was infuriated with Sarah for getting

[00:12:42] engaged in May after she got married herself.

[00:12:45] Said she was stealing her thunder.

[00:12:47] It was a huge deal at the time but Sarah was gratuitous about it and we swept it under

[00:12:53] the rug.

[00:12:54] Fast forward to 2023.

[00:12:56] My sister Claire has been trying to get pregnant for a while, two years and it's

[00:13:01] finally happened for her.

[00:13:03] I was overjoyed to hear the news.

[00:13:05] Claire called me the same day and she told me she was also pregnant and I was over the moon.

[00:13:11] Claire is devastated that Sarah is pregnant and is being extremely bitter about the ease

[00:13:16] of which it happened and the fact that she's having a baby at all.

[00:13:21] Claire is demanding that Sarah tell no one, that Claire should get first dibs on Bridesmaid

[00:13:25] stresses and is claiming that Sarah is stealing her thunder again.

[00:13:30] Claire lives hundreds of miles away and is demanding that she have two separate

[00:13:34] showers.

[00:13:35] One of which is in the town that Sarah and I live in and is excluding her from it.

[00:13:40] Claire also made a ginormous deal about her own wedding, bridal chair and bachelorette.

[00:13:44] I spent a ton of time and money and flew over for her trip.

[00:13:49] She was not even excited when I got engaged, acted like she didn't want to be on my

[00:13:53] bachelorette and is responsible for planning my bridal shower and has basically not lifted

[00:13:57] a finger and is delegating to everyone else.

[00:14:01] I find it hypocritical that she says everyone else is stealing her spotlight when she's

[00:14:05] actively not interested in me and my wedding and won't let Sarah be happy about anything

[00:14:10] ever.

[00:14:11] Am I wrong for being very resentful of Claire and wishing I had never asked her to be co-matron

[00:14:17] of honour?

[00:14:18] Edit, both sisters are due early next year, three weeks apart from each other.

[00:14:23] And we're starting the comments with Kitchin who says no not at all, I can understand

[00:14:27] her being a little envious of the other sister getting pregnant so easily, especially if they've

[00:14:32] been trying for over two years.

[00:14:33] But what makes us adults and not children is our ability to rise above our feelings and

[00:14:38] use rational thinking to be happy for others.

[00:14:41] All this stealing my thunder bullshit is just that.

[00:14:44] BS.

[00:14:45] She wants a continuous stream of attention and life just doesn't work that way.

[00:14:49] Life is all about give and take and it sounds like she hasn't figured that out

[00:14:53] yet.

[00:14:54] Ray Ryan says sounds like Eldish Child Syndrome, complicated by being the older sister of twins.

[00:15:00] In short she feels she was never given enough attention because at the age of two there were

[00:15:04] two new babies in the house that grew up to be best friends with each other instead

[00:15:08] of her as well as getting more attention than her by virtue of being twins.

[00:15:12] Your older sister could probably benefit from some therapy because this seems like

[00:15:16] an unhealthy obsession to be the centre of attention.

[00:15:19] Sinead says my take and I'm not being mean but your twin has had to share every birthday.

[00:15:24] So give her her own shower and make it the best ever.

[00:15:28] Shout her pregnancy from the rooftops.

[00:15:30] She deserves to be celebrated.

[00:15:31] Your other sister can deal with it.

[00:15:33] Maybe tell her to make her announcement first.

[00:15:36] Then a couple of weeks later your twin can do hers.

[00:15:38] But under no circumstances should she not tell people.

[00:15:43] And one more comment from Portland Thunders who says not the asshole it riled me

[00:15:46] up and I don't even know her.

[00:15:48] I38 female have four sisters.

[00:15:51] I'm the oldest of females and if any of them acted like this I'll be ashamed of them

[00:15:55] and we'll put them in their place.

[00:15:57] I think it's ridiculous that Claire thinks the world revolves around her.

[00:16:01] Her wedding should always be the spotlight, her pregnancy, her her her.

[00:16:06] I understand wanting to be the spotlight on your wedding and wanting everyone to

[00:16:09] be excited and celebrate your pregnancy.

[00:16:11] I wish you get to have all the glory and joy.

[00:16:14] Not only are you too loud and your twin has to nod out her pregnancy.

[00:16:18] She cannot even show any enthusiasm for either of you.

[00:16:21] They can get her a pretty tall ladder for a baby shower.

[00:16:24] That way you can help her off that very high horse she seems to be on.

[00:16:29] Yeah, and for me initially coming into this one I was thinking wow yeah she just

[00:16:33] does sound exhausting right?

[00:16:36] The comments did certainly get me thinking about when they were talking

[00:16:39] about the twins and how she may have grown up and she may need therapy because

[00:16:44] of it maybe she didn't get that attention when she was younger because of the

[00:16:47] twins and they grew up as friends etc etc not excusing the behavior as always

[00:16:51] but it was just an interesting thought.

[00:16:54] But around seven months later OP comes in with an update and says

[00:16:58] I twin sister Sarah female 32 gave birth to a son over three months early

[00:17:03] in a second trimester due to a severe case of preeclampsia.

[00:17:07] I received a call on Friday evening saying her blood pressure spiked which was

[00:17:11] resulting in kidney and liver failure and borderline seizure.

[00:17:15] They put her on these crazy meds and held off delivering for two days.

[00:17:20] She ended up giving birth via emergency c-section to a tiny under two pound baby boy

[00:17:26] who's been one fucking hell of a journey with both of them nearly dying.

[00:17:30] But I could not be happier to report they are still recovering

[00:17:33] and baby will be home soon four months later but alive and on their way to being

[00:17:38] permanently much better. Update part is that my older sister Claire 33 female

[00:17:44] happened to be having a second baby shower that I would have left for the

[00:17:48] next day Saturday that same weekend.

[00:17:50] When I called her to tell me my plans had changed due to our sister Sarah

[00:17:54] being in hospital on the verge of death trying to hold off delivering her

[00:17:58] baby in a second trimester Claire's reaction was to break down in tears

[00:18:02] is not what you were thinking.

[00:18:04] I called Claire and tell her worried about Sarah and the baby and they both might

[00:18:08] die due to severe preeclampsia and she says okay through her tears.

[00:18:13] Not a care in the world about sister and baby and she hung up on me.

[00:18:17] My mom calls her next and tries to explain that she won't make it to said

[00:18:21] second baby shower and sister flips out saying she is disowning her

[00:18:25] and that she doesn't need us because she has her husband's family now.

[00:18:29] At this point we are all cousin friends and aren't included like what the fuck

[00:18:35] obviously my concern is on twin.

[00:18:39] The whole weekend Claire's husband is calling and asking if we are okay

[00:18:43] orderline apologizing for Claire's behavior making sure everyone is

[00:18:47] contacted by him is not that type of guy in our family but he did the

[00:18:52] right thing so kudos to him throughout the next several days

[00:18:56] Sarah and baby recovering in the hospital.

[00:18:59] Claire refused to speak to any family didn't reach out to Sarah or husband

[00:19:04] and did not even send flowers to the hospital after she asked me for the

[00:19:07] address after all of this Claire just had her baby a week later at over

[00:19:12] eight pounds and super healthy able to go home within two days never once

[00:19:17] separated from baby.

[00:19:19] Claire has not said a word about any of this to anyone no apologies or

[00:19:23] anything I've not confronted her yet since I've been so focused on Sarah

[00:19:28] and her recovery in her baby it's just widely out fucking rages behavior

[00:19:33] and most of my family is ready to cut Claire off for good but I'd be wrong

[00:19:37] to stay silent on this and let mom and Sarah confront her or should I take

[00:19:41] one for the team another update was indeed happily married to my love

[00:19:46] in September.

[00:19:49] The comment has said to AP after this that he said is so confusing how

[00:19:52] you three were so close until Sarah got engaged is that when this behavior

[00:19:56] started.

[00:19:57] Opie said Claire is always needed to be better than me and Sarah and soft

[00:20:02] spoken and passive and really live a small and simple life.

[00:20:06] Claire is wildly jealous of her and her accomplishments.

[00:20:10] We all three have been close so genuinely at different times in

[00:20:13] different stages Sarah and I are twins and live closer but we all

[00:20:17] three have a group text and we talk every day she's included in our

[00:20:21] birthdays and all other events could we have done better sure but genuinely

[00:20:26] tried very hard at least I have never make Claire feel left out.

[00:20:31] I've talked her in the past as they please come to me and we can all even

[00:20:34] schedule time separately and I think most of people saying you know

[00:20:38] Claire sounds absolutely exhausting and they wouldn't blame people for

[00:20:42] cutting her out of their lives etc and they people need to stop

[00:20:46] enabling her blah blah blah.

[00:20:49] Other people going down this route of the the twin route and she's

[00:20:52] resentful of them being twins because maybe there was some parental

[00:20:56] alienation you know just the usual stuff that goes on in the

[00:21:00] comments below and for me it definitely felt like there was

[00:21:03] something more going on there as always I feel like I always have to

[00:21:06] say this not excusing any of the behavior at all.

[00:21:11] And sometimes our souls are just our souls right.

[00:21:14] So I don't fully know but it just felt to me like there's

[00:21:17] something more there but what do you guys make of this one.

[00:21:21] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:25] I just a huge thank you from the bottom my heart for getting

[00:21:27] involved in today's stories you'll love your support your time

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[00:21:34] the channel every single day so thank you for doing you

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[00:21:43] in the podcast side of things as well as absolutely amazing.

[00:21:46] Thank you so so much and hopefully I will see you in the

[00:21:50] next one take care and much love.

[00:22:16] Hold up what was that boring no flavor that was as bad as those

[00:22:29] leftovers you ate all week kicky Palmer here and it's time to

[00:22:33] say hello to something fresh and guilt free hello fresh jazz

[00:22:37] up dinner with pecan crust chicken or garlic butter shrimps

[00:22:40] can be now that's music to my mouth hello for us.

[00:22:44] Let's get this dinner party started discover all the delicious

[00:22:47] possibilities and hello fresh dot com.