Friends Are ANGRY I Accepted A Proposal Whilst On The Toilet r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we are checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that cheeky notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:22] Now today's first story comes from Funfix4956 and listen to this title. Am I the asshole for marrying a man who proposed to me while I was on the toilet?

[00:00:33] They start off by saying it's not as bad as it sounds. My friends are just obsessed with that part, I think. Fake names.

[00:00:40] My 32 female fiancee, Peter, 30 male, had arranged a candlelight dinner in a hotel room. There were flowers, rose petals and music.

[00:00:49] There was my favorite dinner and my favorite dessert. Peter was in a tuxedo. I was wearing a dress. That evening was so amazing.

[00:00:59] While I was eating, my IBS started acting up. I ran to the bathroom. It was mortifying but at least I was comfortable enough with Peter to allow him to come in.

[00:01:09] I was apologizing for ruining our evening while I was on the toilet and he said it's okay. I felt like he wanted to ask me to marry him the whole evening.

[00:01:17] I told him I love him and he said I love you too. I told him I'm sure you'll take care of me in sickness and in health.

[00:01:25] That comment made Peter smile and he got down on one knee. I didn't care that this was the situation. I was so happy to say yes.

[00:01:33] I felt like he wouldn't have asked that evening if I didn't say the in sickness and in health comment.

[00:01:38] I told my best friend Kate, 33 female and another friend Bailey, 33 female. I told them the truth. Kate said it's weird, creepy and an arsehole move on his part.

[00:01:50] I explained that he would have likely put it off if I didn't mean the health comment. Kate said I was desperate and I should have some respect for myself.

[00:01:58] Bailey said if I thought Peter would ask another time then I should have just let him ask another time.

[00:02:02] Before talking to them, I thought I had the sweetest proposal story. Now I feel like an arsehole who caused my amazing fiance to have a terrible story. Am I the arsehole?

[00:02:13] Now I wasn't expecting a proposal while sat on the shitter to be wholesome but here we are I guess.

[00:02:23] And I think it's just in general a nice story for you both. You know this is your life, you're living it.

[00:02:28] He felt comfortable to do so in that moment and you were basically hinting at it.

[00:02:33] So you know crack on basically. You had a good night up until that moment.

[00:02:37] Let it carry on you know. On the shitter or not, who cares?

[00:02:40] This is your story. Enjoy it.

[00:02:43] Opie then continued to give some further context within the same post and said the proposal happened on Saturday.

[00:02:49] And I've been holding off telling my parents and Peter's parents.

[00:02:52] Both sets of parents live in a different state.

[00:02:55] Tonight we told my parents first via video chat.

[00:02:58] My parents are Bob, 58 male and Susan, 58 female.

[00:03:02] My mum is a massive fan of romance and I knew she would ask about the proposal.

[00:03:06] Peter and I told my parents the whole proposal story.

[00:03:09] My mum was over the moon.

[00:03:11] She said proposing like that is better than any idea she had.

[00:03:15] My dad said it just proves the love Peter has for me.

[00:03:18] My mum asked if she can tell others and I said sure.

[00:03:21] Dad asked my mum to be my maid of honour.

[00:03:24] After getting engaged, my pick for maid of honour was either going to be Kate or my mum.

[00:03:28] I didn't pick my mum to spite Kate.

[00:03:31] I'm not punishing Kate.

[00:03:32] Kate's initial reaction to my proposal story would just make her being the maid of honour awkward.

[00:03:36] Plus my mum is happy with our union and she would love to plan a wedding.

[00:03:41] Then we told Peter's parents via video chat.

[00:03:44] His parents are Chuck, 55 male and Linda, 59 female.

[00:03:48] His parents really appreciated the comedy.

[00:03:51] Chuck thanked us for giving them the gift of telling that amazing story.

[00:03:55] If we're comfortable with that.

[00:03:56] I told him we're confused.

[00:03:58] Linda said she's so happy for us.

[00:04:01] Peter told his father that he wants him to be the best man.

[00:04:04] Lastly, we told Peter's sister Juliana, 27 female via video chat as she lives in another state.

[00:04:11] She had her father's sense of humour.

[00:04:13] Hope Kate and Bailey will be bridesmaids.

[00:04:15] Yes, Kate and Bailey are single.

[00:04:17] I've been best friends with Kate since the 9th grade.

[00:04:20] So this little disagreement wouldn't ruin our friendship.

[00:04:23] Further update.

[00:04:24] Kate and Bailey both agree to be bridesmaids when I asked via message.

[00:04:27] Kate apologised via message and she also sent me a video of her apologising.

[00:04:32] Kate said she appreciates I'm still letting her be a key part of the wedding.

[00:04:36] She said that after several days of thinking about the proposal, she realised how loving it was.

[00:04:41] She said that if she had IBS, she would appreciate a guy who treats her like how Peter treats me.

[00:04:47] Bailey apologised via message.

[00:04:49] Her apology was brief and she admitted it in that Kate told her to apologise.

[00:04:53] A further update from the AP that says thank you to all the amazing people who gave me support on my original post.

[00:04:59] After Kate's apology message and apology video, I messaged back that I forgave her with a link to my original post.

[00:05:05] She said she really wanted to talk face to face.

[00:05:08] We went out to the gym even though I was feeling like I was going to get an IBS flare up.

[00:05:12] We talked while we worked out.

[00:05:14] Kate said that she was upset when she heard my proposal story and that she didn't understand why she was so upset at the time.

[00:05:20] She confessed that she had processed her feelings.

[00:05:23] She realised it was intense jealousy.

[00:05:26] Kate revealed to me for the first time that she was diagnosed with IBS a few months ago.

[00:05:31] She said hers is not as severe as mine.

[00:05:33] She said this has been a scary time for her, especially since she has watched me suffer so much from it all these years.

[00:05:40] Kate said she would want that proposal for herself.

[00:05:43] She said she wishes she could be that comfortable with a man.

[00:05:47] She said the comments on my original post made her feel hopeful.

[00:05:50] She said looking up on IBS more online has made her feel hopeful as well.

[00:05:54] Kate had explicitly asked me to make this update post.

[00:05:57] She apologised again.

[00:05:59] She said she's glad that my mum is the maid of honour instead of her.

[00:06:02] She said she's happy for me but also very jealous.

[00:06:05] Kate says that despite the fact that Bailey had sent an apology message too.

[00:06:10] Bailey still feels awkward talking to me.

[00:06:12] Kate said that Bailey will come around.

[00:06:14] That Bailey is just too embarrassed right now after how she acted.

[00:06:17] I asked Kate if she looked up how common IBS is and she said she looked it up after seeing the comments in my original post.

[00:06:24] She said she was shocked by how common it is.

[00:06:27] She said she was avoiding learning about it as she was scared of what she might find.

[00:06:31] I made sure to tell her that a guy has never dumped me over IBS.

[00:06:35] She knows that I messed around with an embarrassing amount of guys before meeting Peter.

[00:06:39] I told Kate the reason those hookups never progressed to anything real was because I was too ashamed to let a guy see the IBS part of my life.

[00:06:47] I told Kate that the person who told me I was ugly and nasty more than anyone was myself.

[00:06:53] Kate said she hasn't mentally adjusted to this yet but she thinks she can.

[00:06:57] I told her she's my best friend.

[00:06:59] I love her and I will help her through this.

[00:07:02] I made a joke about poopy girls having to stick together.

[00:07:05] That made her smile.

[00:07:07] After the gym I rushed home to the toilet to deal with the IBS flare up I felt coming.

[00:07:12] To no one's surprise Peter took care of me when he came home from work.

[00:07:15] He even helped me to take a bath as I was experiencing so much discomfort.

[00:07:21] I want everyone to know Kate has been an amazing friend to me.

[00:07:24] The disagreement that was at the center of my original post was extremely out of character for her.

[00:07:29] I made that post asking if I was wrong because Kate has always been very reasonable.

[00:07:34] Even with IBS I'm happy.

[00:07:36] I have amazing friends, an amazing family and obviously an amazing fiance.

[00:07:41] So if you don't hear much from me on Reddit don't worry.

[00:07:44] I'm probably just living an amazing life.

[00:07:46] Even if I'm stuck on the toilet.

[00:07:49] Update 2.

[00:07:50] Right now suffering from one of the worst IBS flare ups in my life.

[00:07:54] Plus I have one whopper of a cold.

[00:07:56] But I have good news.

[00:07:57] Both Kate and Bailey visited me.

[00:07:59] Bailey now knows about Kate's IBS from Kate.

[00:08:02] I was so sick I was lying in bed when my friends visited.

[00:08:05] Peter was there to help me of course.

[00:08:07] Bailey actually cried as she gave her first face to face apology for a reaction to my proposal story.

[00:08:13] She apologized to both Peter and I.

[00:08:15] She even hugged me despite the fact that I have a cold.

[00:08:18] Peter and I both accepted Bailey's apology.

[00:08:21] I told Bailey that she doesn't have to be embarrassed to talk to me.

[00:08:24] My friends and I talked for a little bit before I needed to go to the bathroom.

[00:08:28] They wished me well before leaving.

[00:08:30] Peter took care of me of course and I'm glad I'm on good terms with both of my closest friends.

[00:08:35] OP then posted on Ask Me Anything saying I'm an IBS girl and I'm getting married to a man who accepts me.

[00:08:40] Ask me anything.

[00:08:42] Then says I'm a 32 year old with horrible IBS.

[00:08:45] I'm getting married to a 30 year old man who loves me in sickness and in health.

[00:08:49] My fiance is the sweetest as he didn't let my sickness ruin his proposal.

[00:08:53] I had to rush to the bathroom during our dinner on our hotel room and he asked me to marry him while I was on the toilet.

[00:08:59] He probably would have done it another time but I made hints that I knew he wanted to propose.

[00:09:03] I'm incredibly happy.

[00:09:05] At this very moment I'm suffering from both an IBS flare up and a cold so I have time for a Q&A.

[00:09:11] Ask me anything.

[00:09:13] And I had a quick scoot through that thread as well.

[00:09:17] There was lots of people asking you know IBS related questions.

[00:09:21] Lots of good information in there as well.

[00:09:23] Especially with how OP deals with it and they say that they use humor to deal with quite a bit of it.

[00:09:28] And I always appreciate someone who will talk so openly about something like that.

[00:09:33] Which a lot of people won't want to talk about which is understandable as well at the same time.

[00:09:37] But I'm sure it will help absolutely many people that come across that as well.

[00:09:41] Because it brought me some comfort as well.

[00:09:44] I've been going through some stomach issues myself.

[00:09:46] Been getting all sorts of various bloods, cameras, you know all that sort of stuff.

[00:09:50] No resolution as yet.

[00:09:52] There may be the potential of it being IBS.

[00:09:55] Not sure as yet.

[00:09:56] But it's nice to see people talk about it so openly and comforting in some ways you know.

[00:10:01] And in regards to the story I'm glad that OP was able to talk to her friends.

[00:10:05] And her friends did see the error of their ways and talk so openly about her jealousy as well.

[00:10:09] Well she's not saying her jealousy is right but it's just the way she was feeling at that moment.

[00:10:14] And telling her friend this is how she felt.

[00:10:16] And they're working on it together which you know is just all you can hope for in the end.

[00:10:21] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:10:24] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:10:27] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:29] And let's crack on with another story.

[00:10:32] Now our next story comes from SweetNo6434 from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit.

[00:10:38] And says am I the arsehole for not supporting my wife when she started to cry at a Swedish tradition.

[00:10:44] I 52 male and my wife 47 female.

[00:10:47] Already have three kids.

[00:10:49] 13 male, 13 female and 20 female.

[00:10:52] But a few months back we felt like we could use a breath of fresh air.

[00:10:56] So we signed up to take a foreign exchange student for a year.

[00:11:00] We got a 16 year old Swedish girl that I will call Sarah.

[00:11:03] And that has worked very good.

[00:11:05] She's very open and honest and loves to share how things are in Sweden.

[00:11:09] How things are in Sweden and how different things are here in the US.

[00:11:13] It was her birthday just a few days ago.

[00:11:15] So we gathered around the laptop while she was FaceTiming her family.

[00:11:19] And they started singing in Swedish.

[00:11:21] But the song was particularly longer and more repetitive.

[00:11:24] So after the call I asked her about it.

[00:11:26] And she explained that some families in Sweden sing a song where they talk about shooting,

[00:11:31] hanging and drowning the birthday person after they turn 100.

[00:11:35] My wife overheard this and started to get annoyed because in her words it was inappropriate

[00:11:40] and extremely disrespectful to her household when she sang that without her knowing.

[00:11:45] My wife isn't naturally sensitive to bad language or words.

[00:11:48] But when she was born she had a 60 year old dad that died when he was 96.

[00:11:53] So she is more conscious about how elderly people can feel just before they are about to die.

[00:11:58] And she felt like the song was making fun of people when they are old and sick.

[00:12:02] Me and the twins were embarrassed while standing there.

[00:12:05] So I asked her to calm down.

[00:12:07] And that it's just a Swedish joke song that isn't even meant in that way.

[00:12:11] But she just started ranting about it was her house too.

[00:12:13] And she shouldn't be afflicted to such derogatory language behind her back.

[00:12:18] Sarah obviously felt bad and tried to apologize.

[00:12:21] And that she didn't mean it to be disrespectful in that way.

[00:12:24] And that it was just her family singing the song.

[00:12:26] But my wife stormed out and yelled how she couldn't believe we had taken in a girl from such a cruel family.

[00:12:32] I tried to talk to her in our room right after.

[00:12:34] I assured Sarah that she didn't do anything wrong and to just pay no mind.

[00:12:38] My wife was apparently more upset at me for not supporting and agreeing with her.

[00:12:42] And started to cry about how she knew what she had gone through concerning her father.

[00:12:46] But didn't back her up.

[00:12:48] The house has been extremely tense.

[00:12:50] Especially when all of us are in the same room.

[00:12:51] And I really don't understand how a Swedish song could make her so upset.

[00:12:56] But I'm wondering if I should have taken my wife's side.

[00:12:59] And been more sympathetic.

[00:13:01] Am I, the asshole.

[00:13:03] A commenter says to OP, your wife is still upset that a 97 year old died.

[00:13:08] I mean, it was her father, but come on.

[00:13:10] The poor Swedish kid didn't do it behind your wife's back anyway.

[00:13:14] Was your wife jealous that the girl was getting attention on her birthday?

[00:13:17] Because this certainly got the attention back on wife.

[00:13:21] OP says yes.

[00:13:22] I don't believe Sarah did anything wrong as well.

[00:13:24] And I'm also a bit mad at my wife.

[00:13:26] But it was more of how her father was suffering.

[00:13:28] And that he himself said that he didn't want to keep living.

[00:13:31] I think then that when my wife heard the meaning of the song,

[00:13:35] she interpreted it differently.

[00:13:36] And it triggered an emotion for her.

[00:13:38] A commenter says, in quotes,

[00:13:40] Growing up, she had a 60 year old dad that died when he was 96.

[00:13:43] And it says, what the fuck am I reading?

[00:13:45] OP corrected her saying her dad was 60 when she was born.

[00:13:49] A commenter says, sorry, I totally got distracted when you said her dad was 60 years old when she was born.

[00:13:54] How old was her mom?

[00:13:56] OP says, I think her mom was around 28 or something.

[00:13:58] Yeah, big age gap.

[00:14:00] A commenter who was downvoted said,

[00:14:03] Is it possible that she could feel threatened of this girl in the house?

[00:14:06] Does she feel like you're attracted to her?

[00:14:09] OP says, she's 16 and living under my house.

[00:14:11] So no, I don't think my wife feels threatened.

[00:14:14] And OP also responds to another comment suggesting the same kind of thing saying,

[00:14:18] Just because she's a young Swedish girl doesn't mean I would fawn over her and endanger her.

[00:14:22] Don't make assumptions like that.

[00:14:24] And the top comment on the post saying,

[00:14:27] From OKNarwell9200 and says, not the arsehole.

[00:14:30] Here's the joke.

[00:14:32] The first verse says,

[00:14:33] May she live for a hundred years.

[00:14:35] Of course she'll live for a hundred years.

[00:14:37] The second verse,

[00:14:38] When she has lived for a hundred years, then she will be pushed.

[00:14:41] The Swedish word for push is the same as shoot.

[00:14:44] On a wheelbarrow.

[00:14:46] Third verse,

[00:14:47] When she has been pushed, shot on a wheelbarrow,

[00:14:50] then she'll be hung upon a horse.

[00:14:53] Fourth verse,

[00:14:54] When she's been hung upon a horse, she'll be drowned.

[00:14:57] Same as the word for drenched.

[00:14:58] In a lake of champagne.

[00:15:00] It is incredibly harmless and only becomes morbid once the person reaches their 80s.

[00:15:05] When the first verse becomes,

[00:15:07] In effect, if not in fact,

[00:15:09] may she live for another 20 years at least.

[00:15:11] I like that song.

[00:15:14] If I get to that age,

[00:15:15] I want to be drenched in champagne and pushed on a wheelbarrow.

[00:15:18] It sounds like the dream.

[00:15:20] But OP did come in with her update and says,

[00:15:22] I have read all of the comments.

[00:15:24] I was even up late at night to read them all

[00:15:26] and I'm very thankful that so many people gave their input on my situation.

[00:15:30] I first talked to my wife this morning and showed her some of the comments after last night.

[00:15:35] At first, she was pissed.

[00:16:05] I wrote our personal information.

[00:16:06] But I understand that no amount of sorry will make Sarah feel safe again.

[00:16:11] Tensions are still high,

[00:16:12] but I showed Sarah some of the comments and she finds it hilarious and comforting.

[00:16:16] And I again assured Sarah that she didn't do anything wrong.

[00:16:19] And dark children songs are in every culture and doesn't harm anyone.

[00:16:23] And to answer some other questions.

[00:16:25] No, my wife doesn't usually do this.

[00:16:28] And she was starting to panic when I talked to her about what she actually said

[00:16:31] and how Sarah probably feels trapped in our house in a foreign country.

[00:16:35] I also showed her the true meaning of the song by one of the comments

[00:16:39] which caused her to almost have a panic attack that I needed to guide her through.

[00:16:43] We will investigate this further since I know some of you had theories about

[00:16:46] how it could be menopause.

[00:16:48] So we'll look into that.

[00:16:50] Again, thank you for the advice on how to face this.

[00:16:52] But I want to mention that a lot of people assumed a lot of horrible things about my wife

[00:16:56] and I wanted to clear it up.

[00:16:58] P.S. I have already watched Midsommar with my buddies.

[00:17:01] And yes, I enjoyed it very much.

[00:17:04] A downvoted commenter said to this one,

[00:17:06] So you showed Sarah the comments.

[00:17:08] She found it hilarious.

[00:17:09] And now you and she have a little joke at your wife's expense.

[00:17:13] Sure, your wife had an inappropriate reaction to the song.

[00:17:16] But you've talked it out and she apologized.

[00:17:18] You're working on finding a better situation for Sarah.

[00:17:21] Why go behind your wife's back?

[00:17:23] Maybe you really are attracted to her.

[00:17:26] Reddit being Reddit.

[00:17:28] Opie says no.

[00:17:29] I showed her the comments talking about Swedish culture

[00:17:32] and the ones that were nice to her.

[00:17:34] I didn't talk badly to her behind my wife.

[00:17:36] I only explained to her that she didn't do anything wrong.

[00:17:39] Disgusting.

[00:17:40] Assumption.

[00:17:41] That last comment was so weird.

[00:17:42] What the fuck?

[00:17:44] SK says on the back of this,

[00:17:45] As a Dane and if it was my child,

[00:17:47] I would ask for a relocate ASAP.

[00:17:49] This is not a safe house for her to be in.

[00:17:52] And I can imagine how scared her parents are right now.

[00:17:54] What a shit show your wife has created.

[00:17:57] You are not the arsehole,

[00:17:58] but your wife definitely is.

[00:17:59] She should be ashamed of herself.

[00:18:02] Bug okay says not the arsehole,

[00:18:04] that poor child.

[00:18:05] She's in a foreign country,

[00:18:06] just trying to celebrate her birthday

[00:18:08] and that's how your wife treats her.

[00:18:10] Stomping and shouting,

[00:18:11] disrespecting her culture,

[00:18:12] jumping in to further judge

[00:18:14] and insult the girl's family without full understanding.

[00:18:17] None of this is okay.

[00:18:18] I don't think you should host any foreign students again,

[00:18:20] at least not while you're living with your wife.

[00:18:24] Nextwelder says,

[00:18:25] No offense OP,

[00:18:26] but it's hard for us not to think that your wife is horrible.

[00:18:29] She berated and terrified a young innocent girl

[00:18:31] because of a song from her country.

[00:18:33] She went after a child who's in a foreign country

[00:18:36] where she has no one to run to or call.

[00:18:39] Can you imagine how stressful that was for Sarah?

[00:18:42] Your wife showed an ugly side to her.

[00:18:44] Until your wife gets the help she needs,

[00:18:46] you all shouldn't be hosting any more kids.

[00:18:49] And a final comment from T Twist,

[00:18:51] who says not the arsehole,

[00:18:52] your wife berated a 16-year-old child

[00:18:55] who is in another country and feeling quite vulnerable.

[00:18:57] She should be ashamed of herself.

[00:18:59] She is the adult here

[00:19:00] and shouldn't be allowed to care for someone else's child

[00:19:02] if she can't control herself when something upsets her.

[00:19:05] That poor girl is stuck in your home without her family

[00:19:07] and probably quite worried about how your wife is going to treat her.

[00:19:10] I really hope your wife apologizes to her

[00:19:13] and gives her some reassurance.

[00:19:15] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:19:18] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:19:22] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:19:25] Now just a huge thank you for being here today,

[00:19:27] getting involved in the stories,

[00:19:29] your love, your support, your time.

[00:19:31] It always means the absolute world to me.

[00:19:32] So thank you so, so much for being involved.

[00:19:35] Truly, it's absolutely amazing.

[00:19:37] And I'm blown away every single day by it.

[00:19:41] So thank you so much.

[00:19:42] And I'll see you in the next one.

[00:19:44] Take care and much love.