Friend Is Angry AT ME As I Won't Warn My Husbands Mistress "He's Not Rich" r/Relationships

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[00:00:52] Now, today's first story comes from wrongSA49 from the true-off-my-chest subreddit and says,

[00:00:59] I think my husband's mistress thinks he's richer than he actually is. My best friend thinks I'm

[00:01:04] a douche because I am keeping silent. Husband then quotes because we're not married legally.

[00:01:11] Wait, please let me vent here. He 39, me 39, mistress 29, best friend 39.

[00:01:21] We've been together for 14 years, living together for 11. He came and told me that he was in love

[00:01:27] about three weeks ago. I was surprised at his lack of funks I had to give that receiving such

[00:01:33] information. I did love him but maybe my love has always been conditional and its survival

[00:01:38] depends on it being reciprocated because it literally vanished the second he confessed to me

[00:01:43] that he was in love with another woman. He didn't want a separation but to maybe open

[00:01:49] the relationship or let his feelings for her subside. I said it was over. It was like I never

[00:01:56] had feelings for him ever. He was taken aback by my indifference which I thought, the audacity

[00:02:02] that he want me to be hurt and suffer. I told him that he should be relieved that he didn't cause

[00:02:08] pain. Instead, he has been sulking since. Last Friday I got home and mistress was there,

[00:02:15] sitting in my kitchen sipping my tea. I felt nauseous because seriously, I told him that this

[00:02:22] wasn't civil at all and to never be in my home again or I would call the cops. I went to

[00:02:27] my room and I heard a yelling at him for not standing up for her. Then I heard her say something

[00:02:32] very curious. Why haven't you kicked her out yet? She was trying to tell her to lower her voice

[00:02:38] whispering. Later, we can discuss this later. She left and he came to me apologizing. He said

[00:02:45] we didn't have sex here if this is what you are scared of. He just dropped by because I was

[00:02:50] working from home today. I told him that he had until the end of March to move out and

[00:02:54] to find somewhere to be during the weekends. This morning I changed all the locks. From now

[00:03:00] on he isn't allowed in my place during my working hours so if he starts later or finishes earlier

[00:03:06] he needs to wait for me to come home and let him in. But as Mistress's words stuck with me,

[00:03:11] so during the weekend I've been stalking her social media, I think she thinks that he is rich

[00:03:17] or at least that he owns my apartment. I think she also thinks that my parents' summer house

[00:03:22] and boat are his. Unfortunately, the loser has taken her there. Probably bragging about his

[00:03:28] wealth because her hashtags were all about the good life. I was telling my best friend all of this

[00:03:34] but she was more agitated than indignant on my behalf. She told me that he was scum not telling

[00:03:41] Mistress the truth. I agreed, I know right. But then she said I was no better, not explaining to

[00:03:47] her his situation either. I was dumbfounded but she was serious. I told her that it wasn't

[00:03:54] my job to bring back Mistress to Earth. My best friend got very angry and demanded that I gave

[00:03:59] her Mistress's username so that she could warn her. No, I said. She called me a bigger douche than he

[00:04:06] is then. I don't know what's going on with these people. Have they gone mad or have I?

[00:04:13] When did our moral compasses go askew like this? Can someone tell me that I am not insane?

[00:04:19] Absolutely, you're not insane in this situation and what is that friend thinking that you should

[00:04:25] be warning this person who's randomly turning up in your kitchen expecting you to be kicked out

[00:04:30] any day now? And somehow you gotta fix his lies. He just keeps digging his hole deeper and deeper.

[00:04:37] It would have been one thing if she didn't know about you but she clearly does know

[00:04:41] about you to be turning up in your house like this. It's absolute madness but I excised says,

[00:04:47] lol you're not responsible for his lies. Kick him out and leave it.

[00:04:51] Opie says he has until the end of March. Not the lizard genital says,

[00:04:56] random name. You also need better friends. What the fuck is wrong with you not giving the

[00:05:00] Mistress a heads up? To me this is a clear case of fuck around and find out.

[00:05:06] Disastrous ad says, nope not wrong. Get rid of him and wash your hands. Your bestie

[00:05:11] sounds delusional. Opie says few because I thought something was wrong with me and she got upset.

[00:05:19] I can't get her either. Maybe I will just let her initiate contact again because she was really pissed

[00:05:24] when I refused to text her Mistress's Instagram account. Environmental replies that say, Opie

[00:05:30] she just demanded that your ex kick you out of your home so that she can move in.

[00:05:34] She really thinks someone like that deserves the kindness of a heads up. Not to mention

[00:05:39] she's been drinking your ex's Kool-Aid for a while now and wouldn't believe anything you say

[00:05:43] anyway so why waste your time? As for your friend, they're either a current slash former Mistress,

[00:05:50] a gold digger living in the land of sunshine rainbows and unicorns but would never really

[00:05:56] offend you in the first place. Panda Without Pride says, you're soon to be ex husband sucks

[00:06:03] and honestly I don't think that's your friend. Imagine sticking up for the Mistress

[00:06:07] rather than trying to make you feel a bit better. Whether or not you are devastated you may end up

[00:06:12] feeling it later on or not at all but regardless your friend should be there for you. I'm sure

[00:06:18] you're getting your ducks in a row. I'd reconsider this friendship if I were you.

[00:06:22] The audacity of your husband to have his Mistress there and her delusion thinking he could argue

[00:06:26] with you about it. They can live in squalor together. Opie says yeah, was actually very

[00:06:33] hurt by her not being indignant on my behalf. It stinks. I've always been on her side during

[00:06:39] all of her breakups since we were teenagers. Damn her really.

[00:06:44] Lynn says why ruin the fun of her figuring out that she wasted her time on a loser

[00:06:49] before she gets to waste more time? She is a knowing homewrecker and deserves no kindness

[00:06:54] from you. Better keep sewing so she reaps an even bigger shop later. Once shit hits the fan for

[00:07:00] them please send her a pic of you at your beach house on the boat saying wish you were here or blowing

[00:07:06] a kiss at the camera. And a final comment from Love being an asshole who says oh my god the

[00:07:13] uh it's my house and my favorite. You know when he had her there because he's totally

[00:07:18] but her that you're completely ambivalent to his cheating. He was envisioning some catfight

[00:07:23] for his love but what he didn't count on the freedom to pursue her unencumbered by housing

[00:07:29] honestly I would pack his shit and send it to her house by FedEx with a note that says he's all yours.

[00:07:35] Not sure what he told you but the house is my family's. If I had the locks changed she

[00:07:40] don't ever show up here again or I'll have you both arrested. And um of course I think it goes

[00:07:46] without or with saying it should be a glitter bomb of some sort. Glitter bombs man. They just

[00:07:53] they just cause absolute chaos. I've seen a few videos of these things going off and

[00:07:57] absolutely insane. The only other worst thing I've ever heard it was on a radio station it was during

[00:08:03] a breakup someone admitted to like going into their apartment because they had keys whilst

[00:08:09] their ex partner was away for a work trip and they put crest seeds in the carpet and watered

[00:08:14] it and then turned the heating on and just left. They didn't get to see the chaos that happened

[00:08:19] after but they got some really strong messages afterwards you know you could get you could

[00:08:23] potentially get yourself in a lot of trouble with that but can you imagine turning up to a crest house.

[00:08:28] But OP did update their posts they said I did it. I had a showdown with my former best friend via

[00:08:34] text and I confronted her about her non-existent support but I went to her with my woes. I

[00:08:39] told her that she concentrated on the wrong issue. She should have been my shoulder to cry on.

[00:08:44] She should have shown up with wine ice cream and a shovel but instead calling more like

[00:08:49] she called me a bigger douche than my husband. She tried to gas like me and I realized that

[00:08:54] she's always been a good gaslighter. I interrupted her before she made me out to be the villain.

[00:09:00] I asked her bluntly was her husband's name married when you started sleeping together.

[00:09:05] She told us that he was married before. We all knew that but we were all under the

[00:09:10] impression that he was married and divorced before you two met but was he still married?

[00:09:15] Is that why you related to the mistress and felt sympathy for her? Because you were her.

[00:09:21] She didn't answer me until the next day to call me a bitter and jealous bitch.

[00:09:26] Wow, this was the last one-on-one interaction with her I have decided.

[00:09:31] She's been my friend since preschool but now we need to go our separate ways.

[00:09:35] Not only to save us from future hurt but also to save our memories together from hurt.

[00:09:40] I talked to my husband too and asked him to not make the separation difficult and bitter

[00:09:45] and it ruins all the happiness we felt being together because we cannot think back on one

[00:09:50] third of our lives with resentment. I asked him to take my dad's offer. He offered to help

[00:09:55] him find a lease on an apartment and pay half a year's rent if he moved out without giving

[00:10:00] me problems. When I got home he and his clothes were gone. He left an apology letter saying

[00:10:06] that he would always love me and never meant to hurt me. So I've finally been able to cry my

[00:10:11] eyes out and it felt so good. I've been crying since I got home. I lost two of my closest people

[00:10:17] but this is what happens when we hit hardships. We see people's true faces. This is my update.

[00:10:24] I don't know if anything major will happen to make more updates. It is time for me to

[00:10:28] move on. So a couple of comments after that one someone says wow OP good for you.

[00:10:35] Your friend is definitely not worth your time and your soon to be ex should be thanking his

[00:10:39] lucky stars that you are so kind. Branda says tacking my comment under yours because you said it

[00:10:44] quite succinctly. OP is actually kind hearted to help the cheater out. Much better reaction than I

[00:10:50] would have had. I'm happy that she called out her ex-friend's BS. Project him much huh?

[00:10:56] Just like the comments under a previous post said. She was truly something else that one.

[00:11:02] OP responded to the comments and said it is not out of kind heartedness. I just can't kick the

[00:11:07] man out without a fight or a bribe. If I had started eviction proceedings I would need at

[00:11:12] least six months to do so and I didn't want him in my life for this long. So I'm bribing him.

[00:11:18] Housing is very scarce and primary lease is almost impossible. My dad has connections with

[00:11:23] landlords so he agreed to move out. He's living with his parents now until he gets his contract.

[00:11:29] I'm happy it didn't get more complicated. This was what my lawyer advised me to do because

[00:11:34] taking the eviction route would have made it drag for months.

[00:11:39] But now I wonder because he's moved out voluntarily like that you could just say nah

[00:11:43] I'm not helping you now or is that too petty? What do you guys make of this situation? How

[00:11:49] do you think OP dealt with it? What do they always say that moving on and living your best

[00:11:54] life is the best form of revenge? I hope OP does that. But what do you guys make of this one?

[00:11:59] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

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[00:13:04] When I saw this next story, I thought I had an interesting title from a throwaway account from

[00:13:08] the relationship advice subreddit and says I lost my wife three years ago started dating again

[00:13:14] and new girlfriend wants to visit my wife's grave. I am one of many who lost someone in that damn

[00:13:21] 2020. She was my world and we had our future all set up. She wanted children too by 2021

[00:13:29] and then she was gone. I felt I had lost all sense of purpose and after an agonizing year

[00:13:35] moved away not too far but not too close either. I didn't feel like I could breathe in that town.

[00:13:41] Still, every Saturday I get back and visit a resting place. I just functioned for about two years.

[00:13:48] I'm not depressed or anything like that but I just functioned until I met who I would call Ada

[00:13:54] last year. We started talking and hanging out together. She gave me a bit of a haughty with

[00:13:58] people she doesn't know well but I was surprised to find out how sweet and kind she is under

[00:14:03] the ice. She gave me something to look forward to again. She likes to do most of the talk in

[00:14:09] herself which is fine with me because I never know what to say. She knows everything about my wife and

[00:14:15] just didn't discourage her. She knows I am doing therapy and still mourning but she never left me alone.

[00:14:21] I asked her to tell me if anything I do or say makes her feel uncomfortable or like she's not a

[00:14:26] priority. She said that as of now I'm doing nothing of the sort. She knows what I do every

[00:14:32] Saturday morning and never objected to it but today she said she would like to meet her as in

[00:14:39] accompanying me visiting her grave. I feel conflicted about this. On one hand I respect and feel touched

[00:14:46] by her wish. On other it feels weird for a guy to take the new girlfriend where the first

[00:14:52] wife is buried. How should I approach this? Is it too soon? Should I ask her to wait for that?

[00:15:00] Now for me in this and the way I'm feeling after reading your story she sounds like she's a really

[00:15:04] sweet person and taking your feelings into consideration and just wants to support you as

[00:15:09] best as she can which I think is an absolutely wonderful thing but you have to be comfortable

[00:15:15] with it at the same time. And I think just talking to her about this saying you're not

[00:15:19] quite comfortable just yet I think is an absolutely okay thing and I think from what I'm reading

[00:15:25] about Ada already she will totally understand that as well and support your decision on it.

[00:15:30] But I think if you talk to Ada regarding this about how you're feeling she may put your mind at ease

[00:15:35] with what she says about it. A couple of comments on this one. Jidley says waiting is fine if

[00:15:40] you're not ready. It feels like she wants to support you in something that was and I'm sure

[00:15:45] still is pretty traumatic. Joining you to visit isn't about meeting your wife, it's about being

[00:15:50] with you whilst you are still grieving and recovering. Inner pianist says came here to say this last part

[00:15:57] she genuinely wants to be a part of your life and support you bro this is actually kind of beautiful.

[00:16:03] On the flip note it's totally understandable that you might not be ready though.

[00:16:07] Hope he says thank you. I admit that one of my biggest concerns is that I don't want to

[00:16:11] take advantage of her goodwill even unintentionally. Akina some patients are near infinite.

[00:16:18] I told her I don't want our relationship to be all about this. It would not be fair for her.

[00:16:24] She reassured me that she doesn't feel taken advantage of and that I do a lot to make her

[00:16:28] feel loved and appreciated for who she is but at the same time she recognizes this is a part of

[00:16:34] me she's willing to accept to be with me. To clarify I don't do anything dramatic like talking

[00:16:39] to her grave or crying my eyes out when I visit. I just keep it clean water the flowers

[00:16:44] and replace the dead ones. Check the wear and tear on the stone and clean the glass with a picture.

[00:16:51] Caw the thoughts and feelings and considerations for one another in this story is getting me started.

[00:16:56] I gotta tell you it's a rare thing to see in these posts and it is really beautiful but

[00:17:02] hope he does update their posts and says some additional info and an update.

[00:17:06] Some redditors and some people around us were worried that my relationship with Ada is just

[00:17:10] a rebound. I admit it is something that I too was worried about and Ada told me she didn't have

[00:17:16] long lasting expectations at first. We began dating in April 2023 but as things progressed and

[00:17:23] she saw my intentions are serious and uncommitted her doubts about me were gone. She says we were

[00:17:29] made of the same stuff. We are too loyal committed and hardworking people and she wants

[00:17:34] a future with me and so do I. We're looking for a new place to share and I'm looking for the

[00:17:40] ring to make my proposal. I admit that one of my biggest concerns is that I don't want to take

[00:17:45] advantage of her goodwill even unintentionally. Her kindness and patience are near infinite but

[00:17:51] I told her I don't want our relationship to be all about my past it would not be fair for her.

[00:17:56] She reassured me that she doesn't feel taken advantage of and I do a lot to make her feel

[00:18:00] loved and appreciated for who she is but at the same time she recognizes this is part of

[00:18:04] me she's willing to accept to be with me. To my surprise everyone approves of us my parents,

[00:18:10] Ada's parents and my late wife's mother. We never got any backlash.

[00:18:15] On to the update. I talked about this with my therapist. She feels that based on what she

[00:18:21] knows about Ada and the way she's always behaved about this that bringing her to my

[00:18:25] wife's grave will probably be a positive thing. I told Ada that if she feels like it I'd be

[00:18:30] glad to take her with me this Saturday. She was happy to hear this she usually works on Saturday

[00:18:35] mornings but she said she'd take the morning off for me. However I had unexpected things come up

[00:18:40] for tomorrow. I have to cover for a sick co-worker which means I'll be taking all morning and

[00:18:45] great part of the afternoon. It happens and when it happens either go on Friday or Sunday.

[00:18:51] I decided to go this afternoon. We're in Europe this evening here and asked Ada if she

[00:18:56] wanted to come along and she readily agreed. We didn't talk much during the drive. When we arrived

[00:19:02] we made our way to my wife's tombstone and I just said well here she is. I fetched the water for

[00:19:09] the flowers and start my usual routine. Ada just crouched as if to examine it. Then she just

[00:19:15] helped me with the care-taking routine. Removed the dead leaves and flowers and cleaning the

[00:19:19] picture in the light. We then took a walk around the cemetery. I sound weird but it's

[00:19:24] not unusual here as many cemeteries double as parks here. Then sat outside for a smoke before the drive

[00:19:30] back. We talked a bit and Ada who is quite stoic got a little emotional. She was happy I let her in

[00:19:38] on such what for me is particularly intimate and a sacred place but also shaken because of

[00:19:43] after all the talking we had done of my late wife she subconsciously thought of her as someone

[00:19:48] she'd want to meet and be friends with. But seeing the grave reminded and cemented the fact

[00:19:53] that this amazing woman is gone. It was a bit of a shaking for me too seeing her tearing up

[00:19:58] since she's the most stoic woman I've ever met but also made me think how this woman is a rare gem.

[00:20:06] I don't doubt that in different circumstances my late wife and Ada would have been great friends.

[00:20:11] I'm a very lucky guy finding not one but two amazing women which gave and still give me life

[00:20:18] meaning every day. Gee whiz mate you got me blubbing over here I gotta let you tell me that.

[00:20:26] What a bunch of wonderful wonderful people. T-Bagger says, that to me that name didn't it?

[00:20:32] I've read so many posts here about people who have lost their partner and their new partner

[00:20:36] wants them to remove all memory of them as if they aren't important part of your life story.

[00:20:41] Ada is a good one or the best OP. OP says yeah I read some of those posts too.

[00:20:47] Stuff of nightmares. And another commenter says you're blessed to meet someone like Ada who is kind

[00:20:53] and understanding show your appreciation for her with your love and make her happy for the rest

[00:20:57] of your life all the best. OP says naturally my friend making her happy and smile every day

[00:21:04] is my top priority she gave me another chance at life. And like that commenter said we've

[00:21:11] sent a lot of stories on here where the opposite has happened and like again like the comment said

[00:21:18] they want you to remove your past from your life etc etc but Ada sounds like an absolutely

[00:21:24] wonderful person and all I can really do is just wish you both all the best going forward.

[00:21:31] I hope you find that ring that you want and and you continue to live beautiful lives together

[00:21:38] but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation

[00:21:45] the onion ninjas around you as well because they're certainly lurking around me somewhere but

[00:21:51] let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and just a huge thank you for being here

[00:21:56] today being a part of the channel getting involved showing your love not just towards

[00:22:00] me but towards the OP's and towards one another down in the comments at the same time it always

[00:22:05] means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one

[00:22:10] take care and much love

[00:22:35] you

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