Fiancee Has MASSIVE Credit Card Debt But She Refuses To Sign A Pre-Nup | Reddit Stories

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] Hey hey waffle gang, I do hope you are well and happy Christmas Eve you cheeky so and so. Today we got a little compilation video, give that warning out up front because I know some of you don't enjoy them. I generally do them at this time of year, like Christmas Eve, Christmas, Boxing Day etc. You know to help you get through those preparations if you're listening and you're doing all that kind of good stuff. So as always wishing you a lovely day ahead and if you're not listening tomorrow, happy Christmas to you and let's crack on with today's video.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00] Today's selection of stories. Much love and happy Christmas.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00] I believe we are on the same page about life values and most importantly, honesty. For background, I've worked hard to build a stable financial foundation. I'm not wealthy but I own my home outright, have no personal debt and I've been saving and investing since my early 20s. It's been a priority for me especially since my parents went through a nasty divorce that ruined both of them financially. About a month ago, while we were discussing wedding costs, I brought up a prenup.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00] Not in a cold or controlling way, I just wanted to protect the life I've worked hard to build. I was upfront that I'd still be fair and the agreement wouldn't leave her with nothing. I expected an adult conversation. Instead, she immediately got defensive. She said things like,

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00] So you're already planning for a divorce. And I thought we trusted each other. I tried to explain it wasn't about trust. It was about transparency and mutual protection. But she shut it down completely. That's when red flags started popping up. She became evasive every time money came up and I started noticing weird things. Credit card offers in the mail, a few missed payments on shared expenses she said she'd cover and lots of I'll handle it later energy.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00] So I asked directly if she had debt. She admitted it. $92,000 in credit card debt. Not student loans, not a mortgage, credit cards. She said it accumulated over the years from unexpected expenses and a few dumb splurges but she never told me about any of it until I forced the issue.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00] I was stunned. We're about to merge lives. This woman was about to legally become my spouse and she didn't think I deserved to know that she was six figures in the red. I told her this made the prenup non-negotiable for me. I need to protect myself not just emotionally but financially. I told her I was willing to still move forward but not without something in writing that protects my premarital assets. She lost it. Called me selfish. Said I was turning love into a business

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_00] deal. Said my house and money should be hers too if we're truly a team. Since then she refused to talk about the prenup again and we're barely speaking. Even her mother called me and accused me of humiliating her daughter and being materialistic. All I want is to not be liable for a debt I didn't create and to make sure the life I built before this relationship is protected.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_00] So now I'm seriously reconsidering the whole wedding. Not because she has debt but because she hid it then refused to take responsibility and now is treating me like the bad guy for trying to protect myself. I'm almost certain that she could pay her debt since she is a part partner in a friend's business but she just refuses to. Am I the arsehole here for thinking about walking away?

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_00] Sweet interview says to this one. Not the arsehole. I'm glad you found out before you got married and I'm more glad you didn't push on purely as you love her. She showed you clearly she cannot be trusted and finds no fault lying to you. That all she was actually wanting was for you to be liable for her debts and for her to get her hands on your savings so she can keep spending. Without respect, trust and love there can be no marriage.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00] As hard as it is, she couldn't have loved you if she was happy to lie and trap you with her debt. I'm just glad you brought up the prenup for you might never have discovered the truth. Opie responded saying, yeah for me trust is the most fundamental thing in marriage. That's why I chose to let go. Honest Weird says not the arsehole. You definitely did the right thing. It is a huge red flag and credit card debt meant it could even go up if she spends money all the time she doesn't have.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says, and the thing is she has the ability to pay all these since she's earning passively from her friend's venture. I don't know where her income went. JRM says, if she was hiding this from you, she likely was hiding more things and that includes where the money went. Alexan says, she clearly prioritized her comfort over financial transparency. That's a huge breach of trust. And that last comment was exactly it.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00] It's just such a huge, massive breach of trust. This isn't just about 92k debt, which is absolutely shocking in itself. 92k. And that's not through education or anything like that. It's just flitted away by the sounds that Opie said. But it's about like hiding it, the concealment of it. Important financial information like that when you're getting married and then her reaction to it afterwards.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00] When you're tying finances in a marriage like this, it's just so important that this kind of information comes out up front. And quite simply, you're not being materialistic in this. You're protecting yourself from a debt that you didn't create. 92k. Hey, again, that's so huge. And I thought you was being quite reasonable in this situation because I was like, I would be seriously reconsidering everything. Like we said at the very beginning, a huge breach of trust in this. You offered her a prenup.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00] If she's not willing to accept that, then, you know, that's out. Definitely out. But at some point later, Opie does come back in to update their post and says, So I wasn't planning to come back, but a lot of people messaged me and honestly, it's been a hell of a few days. Figured I'd give an update. So yeah, the wedding is officially off. After I posted, I tried one more time to talk to my fiance. Well, ex now. I told her I wasn't trying to be cold or controlling.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00] I just needed to protect myself. I also said that if the roles were reversed, I'd completely understand if she wanted to do the same. I told her I could still move forward with the wedding if we signed a fair prenup. One that clearly said her debt is hers and my home and savings are mine if things go bad. They also said I'd go to therapy or counseling with her if this felt like a deeper trust issue. She didn't take it well. She said again that the prenup was an insult and I was basically planning for divorce.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00] Then she started crying and said I was humiliating her and that I was destroying everything we had built over money. But that's the thing. It's not just about the money. It's about the fact that she kept a massive amount of debt hidden until she had no choice but to tell me. And even then, she only told me because I pushed for it. That's not partnership. That's avoidance. So I told her I couldn't go through with it. I called off the wedding. It sucked. It still sucks.

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00] We told the venue, cancelled what we could and let people know. Her family is furious. Mine has been supportive but try not to say I told you so. I've lost a lot of money. Deposits. It suits some family flying in from out of state but honestly, that's nothing compared to what could have happened if I ignored my gut. She moved out two days ago. We've barely spoken. I keep second guessing myself even now.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't want this but I also don't want to wake up one day in financial ruin. Wondering why I ignored every red flag just to avoid hurting someone. Anyway, thanks to everyone who gave advice or just listened. I'm heartbroken, yeah, but I feel like I did the right thing. Doesn't make it easy. Just necessary. And the top comment on this one came from Mightier Thor who quotes OP saying,

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00] but I also don't want to wake up one day in financial ruin wondering why I ignored every red flag just to avoid hurting someone. And then says, The other day there was an r slash ask reddit thread that asked what would you tell yourself from 10 years ago on a one minute phone call. I suspect your future self 10 years on from now would tell you to call off the wedding. Gee, where's the level of manipulation from her at the very end there trying anything by the sounds of it.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Maybe you got a different take on the matter. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from Maple and Pancakes and it says, Am I the arsehole here for telling my mother-in-law to stop calling herself mum to my baby? I just want to give you an update about my situation. I was so happy when I gave birth to my daughter four months ago.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00] She is my first child and honestly, it's been a rollercoaster ride for me. My husband has been great but the problem started with his mum. From day one, my mother-in-law has been very involved. She visited the hospital the day after I gave birth and was constantly hovering offering advice I didn't ask for. I chalked it up to excitement. But then things started getting weird. She began referring to herself as mummy when holding my daughter. At first, I thought I misheard.

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_00] But she kept doing it. When I gently corrected her, she laughed it off like I was being silly. I told my husband it made me uncomfortable and he agreed it was odd but didn't want to confront her because according to him, that's just how she is. So I did. The next time she said it, I calmly said to her that, Please don't call yourself mum around my daughter. It's confusing and frankly, it's not your role. She looked shocked then told me I was overreacting and that babies don't understand titles at this age.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00] I stood firm and said, Maybe not now but she will soon. And I'm her mum. You're a grandma. That should be a special title too. She got upset and left early. Later that day, I got a long text about how I embarrassed her. How she was just expressing love and how I'm being territorial and insecure. Now some of my in-laws are saying I hurt her feelings and should apologize because it's not like she's trying to replace me. I don't think I'm being insecure. I just want to be clear.

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_00] My baby will only have one mum. So am I the arsehole here for telling my mother-in-law to stop calling herself mum to my baby? Absolutely not the arsehole in this situation. And it's one of those things that might seem like a small thing at the time. But your points are completely valid. That your baby will eventually understand titles and being consistent around that does matter. And her sending that text after just shows how dismissive she is.

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_00] And she's going to continue down this path. That's just how she is which we've seen time and time again in these stories. That excuse from your husband isn't helpful either. Boundaries need to be in place here. They need to be stuck to. It's as simple as that. She went to make it about her feelings rather than talking about the way that you're feeling in this. Kit Kat says, Get a play frying pan and fake bopper on the head every time she says it. And go, Not the mama. Hope some remembers the dinosaur show.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_00] Lol. Great reference. Another commenter says, Make yourself uncomfortable to protect the comfort of someone else. Had family members imposed this message on me repeatedly. You're in charge of your comfort. Others are responsible for their own. You didn't embarrass her. She embarrassed herself. As did other family members. I'd keep my distance from all of them forever. You're responsible for avoiding toxic people. They will suck up all your energy all the time. So,

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_00] OP updated the post. And so, Thanks to everyone who commented. Reading your responses really helped me feel more grounded. I wanted to give an update because things definitely escalated. But in some unexpected ways. So, After the confrontation and a dramatic exit. My mother-in-law went full hurt grandma mode. She told extended family I banned her from seeing the baby. Which I didn't. And that I accused her of trying to kidnap her granddaughter.

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_00] The group text got wild. A few flying monkeys started chiming in about how I need help. And how babies don't care what you call yourself anyway. I didn't respond to any of it. My husband finally stepped up and called her directly. He told her she needed to respect boundaries or there would be consequences. She cried. Again. She said she was just trying to love the baby the way that she knew how. And that I was turning him against her.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_00] She posted a photo of her holding our daughter on Facebook with a caption. Mummy's girl. Publicly. Tagging family. That was my breaking point. I immediately texted her and said. Until you can respect the fact that I'm her mother. Not you. We're going to take a break from visits. My husband backed me up 100%. We've since limited contact to just polite texts. And occasional check-ins. And no in-person visits.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_00] And no in-person visits for now. She hasn't apologized. So far life has been a lot more peaceful. I've gotten some icy texts from a couple of family members. But more surprisingly. A few others reached out privately to say. They had similar issues with her. And respected how I handled it. Thank you for the support. The top commenter on this one said. But if she posted a picture with a baby calling herself mum. Isn't that all the proof the family needs? Unless they are as crazy as her. In that instance.

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_00] Then none of them need to be around. I've never had anything that crazy challenge. My parenting thankfully. But that would be a hard fuck off from me. Any expression says. Those other people are part of the problem as well. When stuff like this starts. It needs to be called out. A couple of people let it slide. And she never learned her lesson. So now you have to be the one who gets the bad rap. Personally I would tell her. That you aren't the only one. Who has had problems with her. Wouldn't go as far as to out them.

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_00] But she needs to know she's fully in the wrong. And it's not just you that thinks it. I think Raku says. Oh my god. That's next level crazy. I'm so glad your husband is backing you up. And you got some validation from other family members. That's actually a little scary. Like in. Hand that rocks the cradle scary. I was certainly getting those vibes. Whenever we see stories like that. That's the first story that comes into my mind. It's a story that I remember watching when I was younger.

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00] Absolutely terrifying. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Standard Passage 7787. And it says am I the arsehole for refusing to get my best friend a wedding gift. I 23 female have known my best friend 24 female. Let's call her Maria since we were babies. We have been inseparable our whole lives.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_00] And she is like a sister to me. We both grew up in a poor area. And our families struggle a lot with money. We are both in our final year of college now. And I don't have a lot of money to spare. I have lots of student debt. And I work two jobs to have enough money for food and rent etc. We both go to a very prestigious college. So we have worked very hard to get where we are. Around 6 months ago Maria met a guy at the shop she works at called Mike. 33 male.

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_00] They started dating pretty quickly. And Mike is very rich. Here's the definition of living off daddy's money. At first I was a little bit skeptical. As obviously Mike is quite a bit older than her. But she seemed happy. After a month of them dating. Maria had changed a lot. She was missing lectures and tests to go on last minute holidays to Dubai, Paris, New York etc. And always coming back with designer accessories. After 3 months she moved in with Mike. Which upset me.

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_00] As I had to sell our shared apartment. Because I could not afford rent by myself. I thought they were moving very quickly. But I didn't want to seem jealous or petty by bringing it up. Around a month ago Mike proposed to Maria. And she accepted. I was happy for her. But after she told me her plans. I was shocked. Maria's dream since we were kids was to work for NASA. And she has worked so hard for this. She has taken internships there. And was planning to apply there for next year.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_00] But her new plan is to get married. Graduate college and move to LA with Mike. And become a housewife. The wedding is planned for this December. And it is the most lavish expensive wedding that you could think of. Her bridal shower is next week. And she has asked me to be her maid of honor. While I don't approve of her plans. Of course I said yes. She has invited me and some of her new rich friends she has met through Mike. To the shower. And she has made a group chat with all of us in. She sent us a list of the presents she wanted.

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_00] Which took me by surprise. Because this list included designer items. And luxury furniture that I could not afford. The cheapest was $550. I had planned to get her something sentimental and personal. Not designer brands. While all the bridesmaids were discussing in the chat what they would buy for her. I messaged her privately and apologized that I wouldn't be able to buy anything. She completely went off on me. Saying that my financial issues shouldn't get in the way of her wedding. I got pretty upset.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_00] As this isn't the Maria I've known my whole life. And she is well aware of my issues with money. I told her that if this is the way she's acting. I wouldn't buy her anything at all. She removed me from the wedding party chat. And I've had several angry messages from Mike and the bridesmaids. Telling me what a horrible friend I am. I'm very conflicted about whether I'm in the wrong. Am I? The arsehole. I think overall in this that the sudden switch around.

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00] You know she abandoned her NASA dreams for this relationship. The personality changed so quickly. Isolating from old friends. That completely different lifestyle. All of that is really concerning. But ultimately I think it's one of those ones where people grow apart. People change. She's clearly changed in this situation. Because if you think about it. I would never look at one of my friends like that. I would never expect them to expend any amount. On whatever event it is. If someone said to me.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_00] You know I can't afford that. It'd be absolutely fine. I wouldn't expect that kind of money anyway by the way. But just to say. If someone said that they couldn't afford anything. You know it doesn't matter. You value the actual friendship. And that's what it's all about. So for me in this. I kind of just look at it as like parting ways. I know it's a horrible way to do so. But it comes across as she's a changed person now. A prudent border says. Not the answer. But your friendship is over basically.

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_00] Her values have changed. She isn't the same person anymore. And honestly there are some massive red flags in her relationship. You cannot help her in this regard. It's time to let her live her life the way she wants. Your lives aren't compatible anymore. She's placing a gift over your shared history. And what your friendship means. To be honest. Being a bridesmaid is very expensive. And with her taste it will be even more so. It sounds like she's putting having an expensive lifestyle over her own dreams. I think you need to do what's best for you.

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_00] Do not go into debt for this wedding. Her decline being a last of the wedding party due to financial reasons. If she is a true friend. She would understand. Falcon says. Yep. Would not be surprised if Maria wants a weekend luxury bachelorette in Turks and Caicos. Or something just as extravagant. Prudent Border says. Yep. Honestly there is no way. OP could financially handle her expectations. You have to love the guilt card though. Her old friend is only happy to spend other people's money.

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_00] But if it means so much to her. She would cover the costs. Captain says. Not the arsehole. She dumped you with a shared apartment that you can't afford. And then is mad that you can't afford things. And your financial situation shouldn't ruin their wedding. Like what? Does she think you're out here being poor just to spite her? Does she think that you just fall behind on your bills and skip a few meals so she can have a fancy handbag? This girl doesn't care about you. And she's made it very obvious.

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_00] OP comes in with an update around half a month later and says. Thank you everyone for your comments. It's been three weeks since I dropped out of the wedding party and I'm still getting calls from Mike and the bridesmaid. I spoke to a couple of friends and asked advice and like a lot of comments said. They just advised to be there for Maria and try to reach out if possible. I messaged her last week asking to meet for a coffee. After being left on read for a few days. She agreed.

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_00] I spoke to her explaining my concerns about the marriage and why I decided to drop out of the wedding party. She stayed silent through all of it. And when I finished she broke down in tears. So badly she couldn't speak. I took her back to my place and once she calmed down she explained what was really happening. Like I said. Mike lives off his parents fortune. Turns out his parents had a deal. He could only continue using their money as long as he got married by 35. As he was quickly reaching this deadline.

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_00] He found a young pretty girlfriend and rushed into marriage so he could continue his luxury lifestyle. Maria found this out at family dinner back in July. Maria tried to confront him but he threatened her with taking all the money and leaving her jobless. And without a place to live. Mike's parents also have a prenuptial in the works and Maria confessed she has been stalling it as long as she can. She also explained to me that the bridesmaid slash new friends had been picked by Mike as daughters of his father's friends.

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_00] And they all made fun of Maria for being previously poor. Because of this she felt like she had to change hence the dramatic personality change and expensive registry. It all went down after I dropped out of the party. Maria caught Mike cheating with an even younger girl. She found messages of them sexting and evidence of her coming to their house. She confronted him and he denied everything. Deleted all evidence and tried to gaslight her into thinking she made it up.

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_00] She was sleeping in the spare room until we met up. And right now she's staying on the couch in my apartment. Last night she officially called off the engagement. And both me and her have been receiving hateful messages all night. We're making a plan at the moment to help her cut ties with Mike. Get back on track with college and find a job again. I'm still mad at her for what she did to me. And it will take a very long time for our relationship to get back on track. But I'm trying my best to support her.

[00:23:31] [SPEAKER_00] Again thank you everyone for your comments and feedback. I really appreciate it. While she still has a long way to go. I'm happy to see that the person that I knew and loved is slowly coming back. Cheshire says you're a true friend to Maria. Good to see she knows that now. Historical says I suggest you don't trust her. She can say whatever she wants about her ex. But she chose to give everything up for money. This already really showed the person who she is.

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_00] But now I'm going to turn this one straight to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Our next story comes from Nova Tampons from the Am I the Arsehole here subreddit. And it says, Am I the Arsehole here? My husband refused to buy me tampons. Now just a warning before we do get into this story. There's going to be talk of blood within this story. So if you do want to skip it please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description. And along the timeline below.

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you. It starts. I'm sorry in advance for grammar and errors. On an iPhone typing this. For starters. I 24 female. I stay at home mom. And my husband 30 male. Is the breadwinner. I like to think I do my best to take care of him. We also have a one year old that I am the primary caregiver for. Now to the main point. Yesterday I woke up to find my period had come. I am currently weaning from breastfeeding. This affects my cycle.

[00:24:58] [SPEAKER_00] It was very heavy and I bled through the sheets and on the bed. My husband was not happy because he had to help me clean up. I was soaked in blood. After I cleaned myself. I cleaned my mess and washed and scrubbed the bed. My husband was still not happy. Later that day I noticed I was low on tampons. So I called husband and asked him to please pick me up some. To my surprise. He said no. I asked if he'd do pads then. He replied no.

[00:25:27] [SPEAKER_00] I was kind of shocked and asked what am I to do. He said well are you paying for them. I am obviously confused at this point. When he then states if you can't pay for them. Sucks to suck. And hangs up. So being on my period my emotions are everywhere. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I have been crying non stop and I am down to four tampons. I feel humiliated. And I don't live close to family. He has my car and I have no money or savings. Gave him everything when I became a stay at home mom.

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_00] And I don't even know what I am supposed to do. I asked him again last night and he said. You got the money yet? He made me sleep on the couch as to not bleed through again. I have never felt so humiliated and ashamed in my life. Later he suggested if I can't come up with the money. I could use a child's diaper further making me feel terrible. I finally felt some surge of confidence. And asked him if he thought of me as a wife or something less than human.

[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_00] That he's putting me in mental distress and humiliating me by suggesting such a disgusting thing. He said well if you don't figure it out that's what you'll have to do. Am I the asshole for asking for tampons? Notes we live in the US and tampons are between 7 to 10 dollars. We are middle class and not struggling for money. A mini update in the same post that said. I called my sister. She's my big sister. She's so sweet.

[00:26:53] [SPEAKER_00] She sent me a box of tampons and candy and some meds and sodas. I thank you all for responding. I feel I overreacted. Also for all suggestions of divorce. How? I have nothing. Nowhere to go. I could not even afford tampons. Is there another way I can try and fix what is done? I'm going to try and get an online job so I can work and still keep my household. And take care of my baby. I'm thankful for all. Thank you.

[00:27:20] [SPEAKER_00] Now from that mini update I can already feel how the comments are going to go. And it's exactly the same way that I'm feeling. There were so many red flags within one post. Getting angry at you for having natural bodily functions. Refusing to buy tampons. Necessary hygiene products. Making you sleep on the couch to avoid bleeding through. I mean what kind of fucking scumbag is this? And it gets worse when he's suggesting that you use your baby's diaper. And of course there's controlling all the finances.

[00:27:50] [SPEAKER_00] Isolating you. You said that you don't live in their family. You don't have access to transportation. You know it's all red flags. It just comes across like all the behavior that we're seeing in this is abusive behavior. So you know we're going to go to some comments. And hopefully the comments did get through to OP. But the first one says this is financial abuse. Talk to your family. Get a lawyer. File for divorce. Take the child. Get all you can from him. Different pin says. And damn not just that.

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_00] She's his wife. Mother of his child. And he's pissed about her having an accident. Made her sleep on the couch. He's dehumanizing her. And putting her between a rock and a hard place. I'm disgusted. I once had to trudge two miles in ankle deep snow for tampons. Because my ex-boyfriend wouldn't drive me. He drove a stick. And I had no car. Oh. He told me to pick up cigarettes while I was at it. I thought that was bad. But this takes the cake.

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_00] ETA for some reason people are bent out of shape by me calling this an accident. Have you ever farted an accident and shit yourself? Well some of us get our period and don't realize it. Or some of us have a heavy flow and overfill. It's a biological thing that you can't always prepare for. Accidents happen. Biological. Or not. Opie says. I cannot divorce. I can't even buy my own tampons. How am I to afford divorce? Commenter replies saying.

[00:29:14] [SPEAKER_00] You can divorce as the system does allow you to take on debt to do so. You can talk to your family about having them cover the costs and you pay them back. You can talk to a lawyer to see if they can do it in a way that will charge him after completion. Or to be paid after completion out of any proceeds. So yes you can divorce as these are just three ways to do it. The other option you have is to be your husband's slave. Opie says. I'm not going to put myself in debt for a divorce. My family is against divorce especially since children are involved.

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_00] I've tried talking to a lawyer and they've all insisted on meeting in person. I have nothing where there's transportation. Not only that. I'd lose more than I gain. Commenter replies saying. Then you and your family have resolved that it's okay for your husband to abuse you. Lawyers insist on in person and in private for your protection and theirs. I wish you well. So it was seven months after that post that Opie came in to update and said. I just came back to update. First things first.

[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_00] To answer some of the comments on the previous post. No this isn't rage bait unfortunately. That was just my life. No the post isn't fake. My husband was just a complete arsehole. We'll elaborate in the update. Looking back now I can very clearly see I was being abused mentally and financially. But not just me. My child too. Now for the update. As I said my sister door dashed me supplies for my situation. Period. She knows what it's like.

[00:30:44] [SPEAKER_00] She came from a domestic violence situation. But what I didn't know is. She had messaged my entire family about the situation. Including my husband's parents. So he got the surprise of his life coming home to them. Not me. Apparently they ripped into him until he was brought to tears. And that was just the beginning. Then my parents showed up. They live very far away from us. And they basically tag teamed his ass. Apparently the guys at work got into his head. That since I had a baby.

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_00] I should have bounced back better. And he better be careful of me getting fat. What the fuck does that have to do with a period? I don't know. But they apparently just keep laying it on him. He also explained to me that he has gender disappointment. Yep. Our baby isn't a boy. And I asked him. So you treat her like that? To which this man sobbed uncontrollably at my feet. We started marriage counseling and parenting classes. And I now have full assistance to our banks.

[00:31:42] [SPEAKER_00] They even set me up a just in case account for if he ever does this shit again. And he deposits in it every time he's paid. And only I have access to withdraw the funds. I don't think this one was necessary. But I have forgiven him for holding onto things like this. It weighs down on my heart. But I will not forget. But I will say it's only been 205 days since that post. And I feel like I have my dream man back. And I have my sister to thank for that.

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_00] Sorry if this is an update you didn't ask for or wanted. Sorry, didn't get a divorce. But thanks for all the responses to my old post. Commenters say to this one. It takes a woman an average of seven times to leave in an abusive relationship. Trauma bonding is very real and very hard to break. At least you have funds to leave the next time he shows his abusive nature. I promise you, he won't change. It took me three times before it stuck with me. Wishing your daughter the best.

[00:32:38] [SPEAKER_00] Ancient Meal says I can understand why you stayed. But you need to understand that his current behavior is only because his family shamed him. He refused to buy you feminine hygiene products. Financially abused you. And when you asked for tampons, he wrote, It sucks to suck. He was getting some sort of sick enjoyment watching you suffer. He will revisit his past behavior again. But at least you have access to funds so you can leave him. He is blaming his work colleagues for his behavior. You must realize this is just an excuse.

[00:33:09] [SPEAKER_00] The gender disappointment is also an excuse. Becca UK says, But maybe him seeing how his family reacted might be a changing point. I'm assuming he has a good relationship with his family. And for them to have Opie's back might have been a wake up call. Hopefully it was and the counseling helps as well. If not, then at least Opie has funds if it happens again. Although I'd maybe open a new account that he doesn't know about just in case.

[00:33:35] [SPEAKER_00] If it all goes well for the next few decades, it could be a nice retirement fund. I gotta be honest on the back of that one. It just made me feel extremely anxious. Like some of the comments saying the excuses that he was using. And it took entire family to intervene. To make this change. When the parents and the in-laws ripped into him as it said. It hit differently than when his own wife. The person that should be number one in his life.

[00:34:04] [SPEAKER_00] Expressed her needs. It just said all I need to know about whose opinions he actually values. And for me, I just struggle to see that change lasting. I mean, maybe that's pessimistic. But you know, I've seen too much of this shit. And maybe that's just me reading too many of these stories. All I can say on the back of this is that I really wish Opie and the child all the best going forward. But what do you guys make of this situation? Do you agree with the comments after this one? Do you think change can actually happen?

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from Clouds Raining from the Am I the Arsehole. And it was also cross-posted to the ProRevenge subreddit. And it said, Am I the Arsehole for saying I'm bilingual when I know ASL. And it has a two and a half year update as well. For context, some of my family members are deaf slash hard of hearing.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_00] Because of that, everyone in my family knows ASL. It was actually my first language because my dad is deaf. Most people don't know I know ASL because there usually isn't a reason for me to sign. I, 16 female, was with my friends and a new girl that my other friends know, 18 female. She was saying how she was sorry if sometimes she has trouble speaking because English isn't her first language. I told her it was fine and it wasn't mine either.

[00:35:32] [SPEAKER_00] And we moved on. Later that day, we were at a skate park and our ethnicities came up. She was bragging about knowing Spanish because her mom was from Mexico. And she turned to me and asked what other languages I spoke. I told her ASL. She didn't like that. She went on a whole rant about how it wasn't a real language because it didn't have culture. She kept saying it was glorified Morse code because all you need to do is know the alphabet.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_00] I tried telling her that wasn't true and it has grammar very different than normal English. Eventually, I just said we should drop it, but she wouldn't. She's currently spamming the group chat with articles about how easy it is to learn. Or social media posts about how ASL isn't a language. And even scientific papers about that gorilla, that new sign language. Spoiler alert. It didn't.

[00:36:26] [SPEAKER_00] Our friend group is divided because on one hand, ASL might be easier to learn than most languages, but some think it's not even a real language. Am I the arsehole? The top commenter on that one said, Not the arsehole. That's some weird ableist nonsense. It's totally another language. Hell, it's right there in the acronym. Cassidy says, Popping on top, Deaf culture is absolutely a thing. I know some ASL, But I'm a member of the disabled community.

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_00] We have our own separate culture. Deaf culture is a whole thing. They have their own social norms that are vastly different from other cultures. They have their own jokes, their own manners, their own nuanced etiquette. Saying that ASL doesn't have a culture is one, ableist, two, wildly wrong. Seriously, tell the person to go watch a YouTube video on it. They are very, very mistaken. Not the arsehole. And photogenic says, 1000% not the arsehole. I'm fluent in American sign language as well.

[00:37:26] [SPEAKER_00] And it is definitely a foreign language. All 50 states to some extent, some more than others, recognize it as a foreign language. Your acquaintance is mistaken, and ignorant of ASL and Deaf culture, and needs to step off. All I felt from that is that this friend, whole identity seems to be like, I'm the multilingual person here, and OP is basically threatening that. So the friend doesn't like it, and is trying to bring OP down.

[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_00] But it was around two and a half years later, OP came in with a post, which was presumably on the pro revenge subreddit that said, I became fluent in Spanish, to spite an ableist, and got her expelled from college. Background, some members of my family are deaf slash hard of hearing. Runs in the family. So we all know ASL in my family. ASL was my first language. Had to go to speech therapy because I almost never spoke out loud at home.

[00:38:22] [SPEAKER_00] Even now when I get overwhelmed, I sometimes end up signing by accident. Also in my city, pretty much everyone goes to the two huge state schools in the area. Me and the ableist ended up going to the same college. So about two years ago-ish, I, 16 female then, 18 female now, had an altercation with a girl. 18 female then, 20 female now. Now my friends were hanging out with. She claimed ASL was not a real language.

[00:38:51] [SPEAKER_00] And then she knew Spanish. That it was filled with rich culture. Which it is. But that doesn't mean you get to say that ASL isn't a real language with real culture. She said it was a superpower I didn't possess. It ended up dividing our friend group over whether or not I could say I was bilingual. I was a shy and meek person then. So I didn't really stand up for myself. I went to the r slash am I the arsehole subreddit to see if I was going crazy.

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_00] Many people responded to my post telling me that I wasn't overreacting or in the wrong. I knew deaf culture is so rich and diverse. But all these strangers encouraging and validating me helped me to fully process what was happening. Deaf slams and it says that the via which I hadn't heard of before but it says on Google the via if I'm pronouncing that correctly stands for deaf view slash image art. And it's a genre of visual art that intentionally represents the deaf experience and culture.

[00:39:51] [SPEAKER_00] Opie continues the nursery rhymes I grew up on etc. That all seemed foreign and maybe strange to hearing people. Are all things I feel at home with. When I tried explaining things to the girl she didn't want to hear it. Even some of the people I called friends were saying I was in the wrong. ASL is a joke of a class to them. This made me so mad. The amount of times I had seen my family experience ableism growing up. Having to fight for my family at such a young age just for my friends to turn on me like that.

[00:40:20] [SPEAKER_00] I told this girl if ASL is so easy why didn't you learn it? She said it wasn't worth her time. She told me I should learn a real language. I was fuming but I realized she had just kind of admitted that ASL was difficult to learn. She was nervous. I was 90% sure she couldn't just breeze by learning ASL. I decided then and there I would learn Spanish to prove that my first language was real and important. I went to the library

[00:40:49] [SPEAKER_00] checked out books on Spanish. I signed up for the paid language learning program my library offered for free. I took dual enrollment classes at a local college. When I later got into college I tested into Spanish level 3 and continued studying. I got a job unrelated to my revenge quest where it turned out a lot of my co-workers spoke it. So this gave me an opportunity to learn the nuances slang etc. This helped me not sound like an excerpt from the textbook. I put my phone in Spanish.

[00:41:18] [SPEAKER_00] I text with people who could only speak Spanish online. After about a year of constant immersion my co-workers told me I was sounding pretty good. I'd already had to learn English when I first went to school. I think that made it a lot easier. I found it to be a really beautiful language. I decided I needed to step up my game even more than I already was. I watched movies and read books almost exclusively in Spanish. I went to the Hispanic area of my city constantly. I made friends there.

[00:41:48] [SPEAKER_00] I told them up front my plan. I was a little worried that they would react the same way to ASL that the other girls did. But they didn't at all. They were supportive and affirmed that sign languages are real languages. Having these new friends allowed me to shift away from this old friend group. I still skated with the old group from time to time. But it was nothing like how I was with a group before. My new friends understood what it was like to deal with prejudice from the world when their family didn't understand slash hear English.

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_00] They knew what it was like to feel like a foreigner in two cultures. They understood how it was to be a translator by the time you were in elementary school. I could relate so well to them. By the time I had been learning the language for almost two years. I had just about forgotten why I had set out to learn Spanish. Then I got a text from the group chat the ableist girl was in. They wanted to film some skate clips for another guy's Instagram. It was going to be him, another kid, the ableist girl and me. I knew this was the perfect time to get my revenge.

[00:42:48] [SPEAKER_00] When I arrived at the hangout everyone but the girl was there. Me and other people were talking when she came up to us. After some filming we sat down for a water break. We started talking about school just random stuff. Then she brought up how teachers didn't understand her since her brain worked differently because she was bilingual. Another person said she was just bilingual not on the spectrum or anything. I don't agree with that as it felt kind of weird to mention autistic people randomly. It was the perfect in for me.

[00:43:18] [SPEAKER_00] She went on a very opinionated rant saying how none of us could possibly understand what it was like for her. Mind you her native language is English so it wasn't like she was having problems with that in school. I told her I spoke multiple languages. She said what? Talking with your BS doesn't count. Is this a sign? She jumbled her hands the equivalent of speaking gibberish and asking if that was a word in English. She was hysterically laughing like this wasn't something I had heard since I started going to school.

[00:43:47] [SPEAKER_00] I replied in Spanish using the very colorful curse words I learned from working fast food with a bunch of disgruntled people. She said I just learned those words that I didn't actually know Spanish. We then proceeded to have a heated discussion all in Spanish. She was yelling at me by the end. The two other people were now very confused. I explained to them that I learned Spanish out of spite to prove ASL was a real language. I said that Spanish was an easy language. I was lying.

[00:44:17] [SPEAKER_00] It is pretty difficult and asked her why she hadn't learned the glorified Morse code. I spoke. She then replied by the most satisfying thing I have ever heard. But you already knew another language so of course it was easier for you. She tried to backtrack after I caught that but it was too late. She was already throwing a temper tantrum. I told her that ASL and deaf culture were as real as Spanish. After that massive blow up we all just went home. The next few days I was spammed with more reasons

[00:44:47] [SPEAKER_00] why ASL wasn't real. But also it was easy for me to learn Spanish because I was bilingual. I ignored them all and blocked her. She started DMing me where I blocked her too. She then started emailing via the school messaging system where you can't block people. I was not really affected by her insults to me but then she started talking about my family. She called them defective the R word and incapacitated. She mentioned my little brother who is hard of hearing and 11 years old.

[00:45:16] [SPEAKER_00] That was the last straw. I went to the dean and had receipts for everything. Her full legal name was attached to it all and they were able to look at the messages in the system. They said immediate action would be taken that this was unacceptable. She lost her scholarship and was put on academic probation. She started ranting about this on her public Instagram saying more over this crap which the school obviously saw and they fully expelled her. Offered me a time to talk to a counselor. A scholarship

[00:45:46] [SPEAKER_00] for CODA child of deaf adult. I didn't accept the counseling or the scholarship but I really did appreciate the sentiments. When the first semester ended I applied for a paid internship where I got put I knew ASL and Spanish. I get paid about 10% more than my colleagues in the same position who speak one language. My friends I made on this revenge journey are the best. I have so much love for them. We have only grown closer following all this drama.

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_00] The top comment on this one said excellent pro revenge. Learned the language got better pay at work and gave a bully a beat down. Why would you turn down a scholarship? OP says I didn't need it. I haven't gone into debt at all. I'm so grateful and lucky for this. I got a full ride and plus some extra from merit scholarships. I didn't want to take away enough opportunity from someone who needs it a lot more than me. There are a lot of CODAs out there who could really benefit from it and they were a limited number of scholarships awarded. Amar says

[00:46:46] [SPEAKER_00] Good job OP. You even managed to skill up yourself despite it not being your primary objective. I think what's amusing to me is when she's flexing she is bilingual and not many people understand the struggles with being bilingual. I was like huh? People in my country are at minimum bilingual but mostly trilingual and can still behave normally without any struggles. What is she on about? I was dying in embarrassment when I read that she's flexing her bilingual skill and berated that no one can understand her struggle in being bilingual. OP says

[00:47:16] [SPEAKER_00] yeah I live in an area that has large Hispanic population so that was funny to me too. The Spanish speaking young people can form kind of groups which makes total sense. So I was surprised at first when she didn't really hang out with any other people who spoke Spanish. You know considering her bilingual struggles that no one could understand or whatever. But I'm 99% sure she did that to seem unique to people who didn't know Spanish. Someone says on how she learned and how good her Spanish is.

[00:47:46] [SPEAKER_00] OP says I'm like 99% sure 2-3 years is pretty normal for the level of immersion I did. Especially over the summer I was speaking way more Spanish than spoken English. Obviously I'm not on a native level particularly with reading and writing but my Spanish gets the job done well and at this point the majority of the learning I do is through context clues and new vocab. In my opinion ASL has a lot more context clues open to interpretation stuff and a lot more conveyed through

[00:48:16] [SPEAKER_00] NMMs non-manual markers like facial expressions and spoken English like how ASL omits articles and uses classifiers and there really isn't a test to determine how fluent you are. I was told by native speakers my speaking was so that was the word I chose and at least where I'm from people usually studying abroad for one to two semesters which wouldn't be enough time for me personally to learn a new language. It brings me back to a story that we must have covered I think it was about a year or so ago where the guy

[00:48:45] [SPEAKER_00] turned up at his girlfriend's house for the first time and no one seemed to realize that he spoke their language as well and they started talking about him for some random reason rudely at the dinner table in their own language and cussing him out and saying what is this guy etc and he responded as well then basically got up and walked out and I'm always like oh I just want to be a fly on the wall in that situation but what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down

[00:49:14] [SPEAKER_00] in the comments below. Our next story comes from FeelingCamp8847 and it says am I the arsehole for stopping my boyfriend's proposal at our best friend's wedding? I female 26 and my boyfriend male 25 attended a mutual friend's wedding. They're very close friends to us and brought my boyfriend and I together. My boyfriend and I are coming up to our three year anniversary and things were getting pretty serious enough so that I very much

[00:49:44] [SPEAKER_00] wanted to marry him. He's sweet chatty typically considerate and empathetic. He's the person who I thought would be the first to show me what a truly healthy and compassionate relationship was like. He's very serious about us too. We've had long talks about marriage and it seemed we're in agreement with no formal declaration but even gotten as far as looking at rings so the chance of a proposal was more of a when not if. A few weeks before the wedding

[00:50:13] [SPEAKER_00] us and the engaged couple at the time were hanging out. The topic of weddings was very prevalent and my boyfriend had cracked a joke about proposing at our friend's wedding. B to be groomed joked back and said that'd be funny as hell. This was followed by me and the bride to be both shutting it down thinking he was serious. He was. During the reception everyone had made their speeches and people were getting their food. While our table was waiting my boyfriend

[00:50:43] [SPEAKER_00] went up to the DJ and after they played my boyfriend and I's favorite song to scream sing in the car together. Story of my life by One Direction. I look at him smiling and he's looking around. All of a sudden he grabs a fork stands up and begins clanging on a glass. Immediately the whole dining room looks over. I stand up and whisper the words not right now. His face drops and he yells a mix of I'm sorry I was just joking.

[00:51:13] [SPEAKER_00] After he sat back down I verbatim said let them have their moment let's make this our own. He wouldn't even look at me. When it was time to get our food he immediately goes towards the exit. I followed and tried to catch up to him but couldn't find him. I text him twice and called him a couple of times but got no answer. So I went back to the reception. After not hearing from him for about an hour and a half or so he returns sits down and doesn't even look at me. The rest of the night

[00:51:43] [SPEAKER_00] was terrible. It looked like his dog just died and I'm trying to make the best out of the night but I felt like I was just his shadow. I was prepping for a breakdown or maybe a fight in the car but the only was to get the ring how he felt rejected by his closest person and that I embarrassed him. I tried to explain that it's not that I didn't want to marry him. It was our best friend's wedding

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_00] and they deserve their moment. That we should create our own and not piggyback off theirs. He got offended and said that if I wanted to marry him I wouldn't have stopped his proposal in front of everybody. This situation perplexes me. I've never seen the appeal of proposing at someone else's wedding and tried to handle the situation in a way that I felt was calm and chill. But he's

[00:52:49] [SPEAKER_00] in general is a bit off anyway. I mean if you know someone wants that if you know they're 100% going to say yes then I think that's one thing but to just bring this on someone it puts them in a tough spot straight away. Doing this at someone else's wedding as well double whammy. You were right. This day was about them and doing this is stealing that attention away from them. People who has likely spent thousands on their day and it also puts you in an impossible position so you were right to do what

[00:53:19] [SPEAKER_00] you did in that situation in my opinion and the saying to you if you wanted to marry me guilt trip is just manipulative you can absolutely want to marry someone and also want the proposal that isn't taking over someone else's day at the same time but Levi says not the our soul it was bad taste for him to propose at the wedding it would have been unfair to the bride and groom not to mention tacky he needs to get over it and move on out of all the possible scenarios to propose he chose the worst

[00:53:49] [SPEAKER_00] options he did the right thing by stopping him no one knew he was going to propose so he shouldn't feel embarrassed Lope says I did try to tell him that our friends the literal hosts weren't even that mad after I explained the situation they just said thank you for stopping him and no one else really said anything about it NYC says not the asshole you and the bride shot him down when he floated this idea you didn't reject him you rejected the timing of the proposal and the location this was

[00:54:18] [SPEAKER_00] their wedding day not a day for him to shine a spotlight on you what he was doing was tacky and you tried to stop him discreetly if he looks like an asshole it actually is that he is the asshole own it dude maybe he's not as awesome and as good at healthy relationships as you thought he was Excel pager says you need to pull the uno reverse card one of the qualities important for me in a life partner is consideration consideration for themselves their loved ones friends family

[00:54:48] [SPEAKER_00] and general social decorum not only is proposing at someone else's wedding tacky as hell it showed a lack of consideration for your best friend his wife their families yourself and me when I tried to speak to you about it you've been refusing to sit down and talk this out I need you to give me space while I figure out if I can still see a future in you and this relationship not the arsehole lurker the pip says 1 the bride said not to do that 2 you said not to do

[00:55:18] [SPEAKER_00] that 3 he didn't ask them permission 4 he is selfish take a good look at his behavior is he the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral what he attempted was incredibly wrong you did the right thing show him this post not the arsehole so OP did come in with her update and said I responded to a few comments but before proceeding with our convo I read almost every comment hoping to gain new

[00:55:51] [SPEAKER_00] and I texted back and forth after he went to bed I made my reddit post because I absolutely felt like an arsehole I was second guessing everything and thought the night would have gone better if I just let him do his thing after seeing the responses to my post I'm more solidified in that

[00:56:21] [SPEAKER_00] advice and tried to reflect on this behavior was a grand showing of any smaller reaction the stonewalling isn't super new in fights at the start of our relationship he would get quiet and make a small showing of secluding himself I'd counter this by giving my boyfriend his space and telling him that moving forward to just say he didn't have the words to talk about it and we can reconvene

[00:56:51] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't think that he was overtly trying to make me feel worse by the silent treatment back then however ignoring me for the

[00:57:21] [SPEAKER_00] to take any blame my boyfriend hasn't done any of that I'm not saying I recognize all patterns of abuse but I'd say I'm versed in a few there's also no real history of me catering to him constantly as others were asking if either person had strong feelings one way or another in different scenarios we'd often be fine with that person getting their way otherwise if we both didn't care all that much he loves to use a wheel spinning website to make decisions and I think it's cute we met earlier today he came

[00:57:51] [SPEAKER_00] over and we sat in my living room he broke down he vehemently apologized and said he felt like an arsehole he said he had been reflecting all of yesterday and talking to his dad about the situation his dad got mad at him and talked him off his ego crash his words not mine he'd already sent a message to our friends now flying to their honeymoon in West Europe apologizing for making their most important day about him and for not properly celebrating them I asked why he neglected our conversation from months before

[00:58:21] [SPEAKER_00] he said that the groom and their group of friends had egged them on in private since not to propose at the wedding but to do it soon he didn't originally plan on doing it at the wedding he's had the ring with him for about a month never had any real plan and wanted it to be just spontaneous he told me got caught up in the atmosphere of the wedding saw his best friend with his girl and couldn't stop picturing us in the same scenario his urge overran his common sense in his terms and he made a choice he ultimately wishes he could take back

[00:58:52] [SPEAKER_00] it very much spiraled from there I noted that while his heart was in the right place that doesn't excuse the shitstorm he put me through after I expressed to him that ignoring me really hurt me that him saying my rejection to his proposal was the reason for his embarrassment and shutdown was unfair especially since we already had established for him not to do that he accepted this and continued to apologize admitting it was very unfair of him and that he should have handled his emotions and embarrassment better especially towards me we had a

[00:59:22] [SPEAKER_00] lull in our conversation after he I felt the prettiest in a long time expect this to have enormous fun and watch our best friends have their moment to shine turned into a day where I was crying in my room reading reddit comments about how

[01:00:00] [SPEAKER_00] my mom works for a mental health clinic and has offered resources before I said that I needed time to rebuild my trust in him he understood and is going to seek mental health resources through my mom's clinic until then we'll be on a week or so break with an open channel communication he's going to find appropriate channels to better himself and I'm going to take myself on a mini

[01:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] trigger was even pulled on it I said that I didn't care for anything fancy I just prefer it not to be public he said that he wanted to make a grand showing of love to me and didn't care where or how he asked if it was okay to have friends and family present or if that broke my rule I said that was fine and was happy with the communicative compromise

[01:01:00] [SPEAKER_00] something I thought that was really sweet that I wanted to mention was that before he left he said I do think I owe you some dancing and so we slow danced in my living room for about half an hour until we left a small and romantic action probably to earn brownie points but the conversation did reassure me that he's willing to try and be better he recognized he was in the wrong and that a joyful day was robbed by pride and not rejection this was about as ideal of an outcome as I'd hoped thank you all for taking the time out of your

[01:01:30] [SPEAKER_00] days to reply and bring me back to earth thank you to those who messaged me in private to make sure I sure or to give input while the future is still obscure it's a little clearer than it was a couple of days ago I have a clearer understanding now of

[01:02:08] [SPEAKER_00] reservations on the matter a lot of people in the comments on this one were saying you know communication does win the day and glad that they was able to talk it out and not just break up immediately etc etc etc but what do you guys make of it let us know your thoughts down in the comments below let's move on to another story now our next story comes from a throw away account and says would I be the asshole if I tell my friend to stop with her coping mechanism I'm on a throw away account because my friend group absolutely knows my main

[01:02:37] [SPEAKER_00] reddit and I don't want them finding this and making the situation worse so I'm trans but I come from a culture where being trans is dangerous for my safety I am cis female I have a small group of friends that I made three years ago one of these friends has a rather interesting hobby she enjoys going on social media apps and

[01:03:07] [SPEAKER_00] basically learning everything she can about a person I'm not really sure why she does this as it seems very weird to me but she basically told me that she does it because of all the trauma she has from her high school friends who basically manipulate or bully her into thinking she forgot important info about them ever since then she goes on social media or even listens to gossips about almost everyone that she knows just so she never misses a thing I don't really understand it but someone with trauma myself understand that we handle things

[01:03:44] [SPEAKER_00] people with that kind of information it's not that I don't think they will be supportive I just don't think that they need to know this that and I'm a little afraid of our dynamic changing as I love them a lot and can't stand to lose any more loved ones I know that if it comes to a point where it's needed I will tell them but right now it's not important

[01:04:14] [SPEAKER_00] anyone about not directly but she says things like example I heard about this place called restaurant that I went to when I was younger the food seems interesting there I thought I was just going crazy at first as the internet is free and she is allowed to see things from my hometown without it being linked to me that is until yesterday she was talking to our friends about baby names as

[01:04:44] [SPEAKER_00] but all agreed it doesn't really fit her ethnicity she moved on and never brought it up again I don't feel anything towards the name nor do I feel like she isn't allowed to name her baby after it if she so desires to but it feels like a twisted form of power play I'm not sure how she found it but I don't think she use it against me nor out me as she is not that type of person I feel like maybe she is trying to hint that she knows right now

[01:05:25] [SPEAKER_00] I would not be doing the same thing your identity is no one's business but yours to disclose if you choose to do so in

[01:06:05] [SPEAKER_00] she found out you had a dead sibling would she drop weird random hints about that too take away this being about your transition and apply her behavior to any other sensitive topics someone wouldn't want casually hinted at in a public setting and it should be easy to

[01:06:35] [SPEAKER_00] if you're going on a date with them it's another to fully deep dive into past lives of everyone you develop a friendship with she needs therapy she thinks as a healthy or acceptable coping mechanism pandrine queasy says i think if it's bothering you and you feel concerned gently ask her in private if there's anything on her mind that she would like to say it's possible that you feel sensitive and are connecting things that aren't there or she is being a bit cruel teasing you with triggering information to get a reaction out of you if she enjoys being nosy about people's lives in a

[01:07:05] [SPEAKER_00] private capacity that's her deal but using that information that is meant to stay private is not okay yes i don't think you need to tell anyone some messages that were really sent to me i'll be honest the last three to four months have been difficult for me and the kind words i received really helped on to the updates

[01:07:35] [SPEAKER_00] amelia gave birth to a healthy baby boy and no she did not name him after my dead name i don't think i would have cared anyway because one like i said i don't feel any attachment or trauma with that name and two it's her loss if she names her son that because she is white as snow and i am arab

[01:07:52] [SPEAKER_00] regardless i still felt happy for her and celebrated her son because she was still my friend second there's a trend on tiktok or instagram where person a will record person b and film their reaction to hearing the sentence i'm so hungry i could eat name name for those who might not know the name they will say tends to be of a person that person b has a strong past with like an ex or a dead friend or something me and my friend group went over to my best friend's house for a girl's night to spend some time with a person that person

[01:08:21] [SPEAKER_00] since she's been busy with her son they did the tiktok trend and since i don't really frequent social media nor post myself i mostly watched and chit chatted with other friends who also weren't super into trends we were having fun to amelia pointed the phone at me and said hey my name i'm so hungry i could eat father's name i was beyond shocked my dead name has no meaning to me but my father's like a knife twisted into me

[01:08:49] [SPEAKER_00] hearing his name made me panic i guess my other friends noticed and told the media to stop and delete the video i basically disassociated during the argument but from what my friends told me after was that a media claimed it was just a joke and a trend that people will do she then went on to claim that i was in the wrong and outed me to my friends who luckily didn't care like they were accepting as i hoped she basically got kicked out of the house after a long screaming match and my friends told me

[01:09:16] [SPEAKER_00] she wasn't welcomed in the friend group anymore after what she had done to me i felt awful about this as she was friends with him longer than i was and felt like i was ruining things they assured me that i didn't and they accepted me i apologized for not telling them sooner but they understood that it was my secret to tell amelia did end up posting the video and vague posted about me and the rest of the group got taken down after my best friend confronted her and forced her to delete the videos but the damage

[01:09:44] [SPEAKER_00] was already done and a lot more people knew on the brighter side i never really got questioned by those mutual friends of amelia so that's good after that we never really heard or paid any attention to her again i finally started therapy and my therapist was the one who suggested to update you all as some form of closure she said so once again thank you to reddit for all the kind words and messages and hopefully nothing else this bad happens again the top comment on this one i have to read out it was

[01:10:12] [SPEAKER_00] exactly the same as i'm thinking but it said what is wrong with people that this became a trend like yeah let's trigger people for fun i read your original post glad you're doing better and that amelia will no longer be in your life and yeah that was not a trauma response on her part it was her just stalking and taking perverse pleasure in tormenting you when she knew you couldn't do or say anything about it i fear for a child frankly but not your problem go heal and live your best life

[01:10:40] [SPEAKER_00] and it definitely did feel like she was getting something out of it she wanted a reaction from op by bringing those up otherwise why would you do it quite simply absolutely awful person and i'm glad that op's friends were accepting but what do you guys make of this situation have you heard of this trend before never seen it myself but let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[01:11:03] [SPEAKER_00] our next story comes from fake pisser who says my mom female 48 is trying to force me male 17 to fly to another state and take a pre-job drug test for my brother 22 to be honest i have done this in the past i've taken pre-hired drug tests for him i hated doing it but i did it we look enough alike that on his driving license we pull it off and people at those clinics are more busy making sure

[01:11:31] [SPEAKER_00] you don't sneak something in your pants than with id pics my brother asked me first because he knew he was going to apply a couple of months ago i said no and told him to get clean and he got pissed at me then got my mom to take his side and here we are i hate doing this because i hate that i'm doing something illegal and i hate that my brother won't stop smoking weed long enough to get a good job i have nothing against weed i just don't smoke and i hate how lazy and irresponsible he is

[01:12:00] [SPEAKER_00] i'd have to fly out to miss some school but my mom is threatening to revoke my work permit i work at a burger place part-time i love my job but i can only keep it if my gpa stays high and my mom and my guidance counselor sign a permission slip don't want to do anything illegal anymore don't want to keep bailing out my brother i hate doing this period my mom also threatened to kick me out of the house but i think that one is a bluff i would have to fly out sunday and have a big

[01:12:29] [SPEAKER_00] chemistry test on monday i feel like i have no way out this sucks let me know if any good ideas come to mind to help me do the best thing mr jules suggested to op just tell them you smoked weed op says didn't think of this my mom would probably drug test me to check because we've been fighting over this i should have thought of this sooner damn thanks this would have been genius but the commenter says

[01:12:55] [SPEAKER_00] this looks like the best option since she doesn't seem to give a shit if the other brother does it op says nah she never cared he did anything but if i get a b instead of an a all hell breaks loose i get grounded lose my laptop and no tv and no friends doesn't seem balanced op on how he's fake tests for his brother in the past op says they never let me go alone he always walks in with me

[01:13:20] [SPEAKER_00] to make sure i don't chicken out then when they call his name he puts a magazine over his face or just bends down and looks at his phone great idea though so thank you op also says but i can't go to jail or suffer some legal consequences if i get caught trying i want to lose my scholarships or even my acceptance to my future college op on how his mom can revoke his work permit they said the high school i attended has to give you a work permit in order to get a part-time job

[01:13:48] [SPEAKER_00] or nobody will hire you without it but the rules are that you have to maintain a high gpa and your parents have to sign a consent form once you have all that your guidance counselor will give final approval those are the rules so my mom can go to the counselor at any time and say she's no longer content to me working she can say anything from behavior problems at home to i need more time for homework and family anything that would be it they revoke my work permit and i get fired

[01:14:18] [SPEAKER_00] i always find situations like this absolutely heartbreaking because i think you know that's a very small part of op's life that we've seen what else is not in the background i mean mom is pressuring op to do this drug test which could be considered fraud in some places maybe all places i don't know i just quick done a quick google and you know i briefly saw that there is possible legal consequences of this

[01:14:44] [SPEAKER_00] and mom is pressuring their child to do that but someone else says to op tell her if she revokes your permit you will tell your school counselor why she is and she will really be in trouble she will get super pissed but there is nothing she can really do she also cannot legally kick you out of the house until you're 18 stay strong kid if you get caught doing this your whole future is ruined and i don't want that to happen it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders

[01:15:09] [SPEAKER_00] you're right your brother could easily clean the bizag if for no other reason than to just pass the test it's not that hard to stop smoking weed for a few months i do not smoke but i have a few friends that do and they have all quit before for job drug screenings it's a slight inconvenience and saves them money fka says wow your mom should enter the enabling olympics she's contended for the gold medal even on a sub rampant with descriptions of enabling parents and so's

[01:15:38] [SPEAKER_00] tell her fuck that and if she threatens to withhold permission for you to continue to work tell her you'll tell school counselor why oh mr mrs school counselor the mom won't let me keep my job because i wouldn't fly out to fraudulently take a pre-employment drug test for my brother so it was about six weeks after that post that op came in again and said it didn't go too well for me my mom dropped me at the airport i didn't get on the plane i just sat there and they called for my plane to board

[01:16:06] [SPEAKER_00] the airline lady asked me if i wanted to board because she saw i was the only one left in the waiting area i felt scared i'm not gonna lie that was the hardest moment of my life by far the shit hit the fan when my brother found out i wasn't getting off the plane that night when he went to pick me up from the airport my mom called and called until finally she just texted me not to come home i spent the night at the airport and i took the bus to school on that monday i took my chemistry test and totally bombed it

[01:16:36] [SPEAKER_00] i gotta see i wish i have a do-over on that because i know all that stuff i don't know what happened there i got fired from my job because my mom revoked my permission slip to work i spoke to my boss but there was nothing he could do to keep me working for him he said he respects me and that he would hire me when i'm 18 but nothing he can do now i don't live at home anymore i got kicked out the whole thing was bad my self-esteem is in the dumps because i don't like staying at my friend's house

[01:17:03] [SPEAKER_00] where i stay now sometimes i think that all i had to do was take the stupid drug test and everything would be fine now thanksgiving is coming and it's weird not having a place for a family to have that holiday with i thought it would all blow over by now but it hasn't my mom is more angry about this than i thought she moved and rented another house so my old house is done to me it makes a difference honestly i would love to say hey i did the right thing and it's all good

[01:17:31] [SPEAKER_00] but it's not that easy i'm lost for now at least i don't know how to move on without a home to go home to i have to confess that i wish my mom would call me and tell me i was right it's just not that easy to leave your family behind so anyway i don't know what else to say i have my clothes and my books and my school stuff i'll finish off the year i'm wishing time will fly by and i can start college and just try to move on

[01:17:56] [SPEAKER_00] sometimes i feel like i made a mountain out of a molehill i fucked up everything but i can't wait to have kids so i can help them do the right things without punishing them that's the one thing i can know i will for sure do when i have kids for now things suck and they're hard being kind of homeless sucks staying at somebody else's house is not the same as having your own bed the top commenter on this one said op you're gonna look back on this event in a few years and be so fucking proud of yourself

[01:18:25] [SPEAKER_00] for not having gone through with this illegal as fuck request from your mom and brother not only that it is a blessing in a way that because you know how little these people care about you i literally couldn't give two fucking shits about you and you don't need to feel bad or give a shit either you say that you wish time flew by so you could go to college i'm assuming that you are admitted somewhere and will be going this will be a tough year for you but i'm hoping college will be a helpful

[01:18:52] [SPEAKER_00] experience and that you can find support and good friends there i promise it will all get better op says i've been admitted to the school i want to go to so the sooner that day comes the better for me and the easier things will be dinosaur train says to op i've also been on my own since i was a teenager all things suck ass i promise you're so much better off finding out the truth about your family now it doesn't seem like it while you're a minor and vulnerable but trust me it is true

[01:19:21] [SPEAKER_00] this temporary hardship is miles better than years of bullshit your mom would have hung around your neck in the meantime perhaps you could see an attorney and find out what your rights are about suing for child support for yourself and being illegally evicted if that's the case op says i don't know i can't afford an attorney i don't think i want one either as messed up as my mom is i have no desire to make things worse for her in the long run or handle whatever comes to me i don't think she can handle

[01:19:50] [SPEAKER_00] what comes to her if i make legal trouble that mom and that brother are absolute scumbags imagine kicking out your teen child because they refuse to commit fraud for their brother and it just brings me back to what i said in the first part of it i wonder how much care and love there was in the first place to go to turn around and do something like that it just you know it's just fucking heartbreaking

[01:20:14] [SPEAKER_00] honestly i hope op did reach out to any resources that they have around them you know the school counselor or any displaced teens resources it also shows how you know normalization of mom's kind of behaviors because op is still trying to defend her in some ways towards the end there he doesn't want to go for any kind of child support or or things like that i'm not sure the possibilities of it but still the mindset is that he wants to protect her in some kind of way because she's already going through

[01:20:43] [SPEAKER_00] enough yet despite her kicking him out despite her pressuring him to do something illegal but i hope op did look back on this and think and know that they did the right thing they made the right choice and i really really really do hope that they're out there somewhere absolutely thriving away from their mom away from that brother who's willing to put them in harm's way absolutely heartbreaking

[01:21:08] [SPEAKER_00] what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below let's move on to another story now before we do get into this next story i want to give you a couple of trigger warnings of mental health struggles and eating disorders as well so if you do want to skip it please feel free to do so time stamps are always down in the description along the timeline

[01:21:34] [SPEAKER_00] below this one's from crazy girl issues who says 30 male with 29 female for two years am i crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion so this feels crazy to me even asking this but i just need some kind of confirmation or perspective i'm not seeing i live with my girlfriend every friday is pizza night we either order some dominoes or i pick up

[01:22:01] [SPEAKER_00] papa murphy's she loves pizza night because during the week we are pretty strict with our diet and exercise so friday night it's our pop pizza movie and it's a treat i get off of work at five she gets off at six so if i'm picking up the pizza then i get it on the way home yesterday it was my duty to pick up the pizza i stayed after work for another 40 minutes talking to my brother about business ideas

[01:22:26] [SPEAKER_00] because we own our business and it's really helpful to brainstorm after we close i work 25 minutes from the house she works 20 minutes from the house i ordered the pizza from papa murphy's you have to bake it yourself at home for 15 minutes at 5 and plan to leave work at 5 40 with the intent on getting the pizza and being home in time to throw it in the oven and have it done within 5 to 10 minutes after

[01:22:51] [SPEAKER_00] she walked in the door well i get the pizza and there is a traffic accident on the freeway it delays me 15 minutes when i get home which is about two minutes after she did she is all i'm really disappointed that you didn't get the pizza here faster you know how important it is etc i explained to her that there was a traffic accident and that i had planned to be here in time to have it done she then goes on a rant saying that i should have left right at five so i would have for sure get the pizza here in time

[01:23:19] [SPEAKER_00] and have it ready for her when she got home keep in mind i brought this pizza back basically every week for the past month and i either have it totally ready or at least in the oven by the time she gets home somehow though the times when it was just in the oven were me being late then too and she brought that up as more evidence that i'm terrible anyway i go into the bedroom to be alone so that i don't have to hear her ranting she won't drop it though and comes in there after five minutes to continue

[01:23:48] [SPEAKER_00] bitching about her pizza and how i shouldn't be upset because she's the one that was disappointed i tell her fine i'm leaving for a while because i don't want to sit here and hear this after i just sat in traffic for 40 minutes getting this thing for her she then flips out and tells me i shouldn't come back if i'm leaving chases me out the door and screams for me to pack my things and take them with me before i go etc i ignore this and tell her she's acting like a child and that it's like watching a

[01:24:16] [SPEAKER_00] two-year-old have a tantrum i come back three hours later and she has a suitcase and a bag of clothes thrown out in the driveway no texts or calls just that i slept at my office and now i'm not really sure what to do here am i missing something here where i wasn't being sensitive so i just wait for an apology and then if it isn't forthcoming i should walk it seems like insanity to me but maybe

[01:24:41] [SPEAKER_00] i am missing something edit so i finally text her this afternoon and she said she was pissed because i ignored her slash was acting cold after she bitched at me when i went into the bedroom to defuse the situation i was there for under five minutes before she came in to continue fighting about it when i left she says i told you that if you ever left you could never come back you left now she says it's up to me if i still want to be together i told her that me being required to be in her

[01:25:10] [SPEAKER_00] presence while she rants at me is abuse i can leave if i want to in fact the week prior she specifically told me i should leave for a little while when she starts acting crazy because she ends up saying things she doesn't mean so i literally followed her advice this time and now she says i'm basically required to stay at her side while she rages at me ugh i feel like it's time to move on because i know she won't get help for this and i know it's just

[01:25:35] [SPEAKER_00] going to keep happening it's just so hard because i do still love her if she would just be willing to get help i would have hope so someone asks op if this is the girlfriend's typical reaction if things don't go the way she wanted opie says this is literally the entire story sometimes it's like talking to a different person one person is kind and loving then she can flip this switch where

[01:25:59] [SPEAKER_00] she's unable to be reasoned with and goes absolutely batshit crazy it happens when she's frustrated too an example also with pizza a few months ago i was dropping my car off to get a stereo installed i needed her to pick me up there after she was done with work on friday because i had to leave it there for a few hours well she couldn't find the place and got a little lost so she called me she couldn't

[01:26:24] [SPEAKER_00] use her gps because she used up all her data on a prepaid plan i tried to help her with my google maps and figured out where she was really quickly like two minutes from the place i told her to go north and take the first right she could well she doesn't know compass directions where she was so this frustrated her and she started screaming into the phone how this was pizza night and how maybe i could just call her once the car was ready and she'd pick me up then i told her that would be

[01:26:52] [SPEAKER_00] several hours and that it didn't make any sense i needed food etc so she says fine i'll try to find you 30 seconds later she finds me she later apologized about her behavior but it was still shocking at the time now i guess i'm starting to realize this is normal for her whenever she is at all stressed opie responded to a comment regarding the girlfriend's background and opie says you're pretty insightful she has abandonment issues because her dad left and her mom was legitimately

[01:27:22] [SPEAKER_00] insane regularly beat her addicted to drugs went to prison for a few years and had to be raised by grandma and she ended up emancipating herself at 16 yes minor changes in routine very much upset her no reason to distrust me i've never cheated she has someone asked opie if they informed his girlfriend that they would be staying late at work opie says no because i regularly stay late at work but

[01:27:47] [SPEAKER_00] i always get home before her so it usually doesn't matter same thing here i was on time until i hit the traffic jam i tried to get around it but it didn't help i thought i would get home right around the same time as her and that it wouldn't be a big deal for her to wait 15 minutes but apparently it was and another commenter says bpd is not very resistant to treatment dbt works wonders once a patient can

[01:28:14] [SPEAKER_00] recognize their own emotions they can learn to cope with them properly the disorder becomes manageable from there the patient is gonna have to be in a place where they're ready to get help and challenge their own beliefs but that's the same of any mental illness ever opie's girlfriend doesn't sound like she's there but that doesn't mean she'll never be there nor should she be told she never will be you seem to understand the disorder to understand why telling someone with bpd that they're untreatable

[01:28:40] [SPEAKER_00] is detrimental right we should be telling them that they aren't broken and hopeless that said opie a childhood plus what you wrote in the comments also struck me as borderline she believes she is horrible that she doesn't deserve love that everyone abandons her she doesn't know how to feel good about herself because she was never taught how it's absolutely not your responsibility to teach her that or even to help her through any of this you are not married it's only been two years she will need to learn one

[01:29:10] [SPEAKER_00] way or another that she is hurting herself and everyone around her with her behavior she will need to decide she needs help just try to keep in mind that she's suffering too if slash when you leave her don't be too cruel opie quotes the part that says she believes she is horrible that she doesn't deserve love that everyone abandons her and opie says she's used exactly those words to describe how she feels about herself she feels an emptiness inside that she thought was because of our relationship and me not

[01:29:39] [SPEAKER_00] making her feel loved enough so she cheated but it didn't help her after the cheating i tried to get her to see a counselor but she refused in a passive slash aggressive way of promising to go but never making the appointment and becoming angry when i pressed her on it after a month of nothing i guess i just needed her to let go and hope that she gets treatment for herself at some point their opinion of counselors is that they are useless and never help the op came in with a first update and said after some

[01:30:07] [SPEAKER_00] more texting she admitted that she owed me an apology and asked me to come back and talk as soon as i walked in she had a sheepish look and apologized and said she knows something is wrong with her but she isn't sure what it is and really doesn't want to have to take medication that's when i brought up the fact that we both already know that her sister has a very severe case of borderline personality disorder her sister is very intelligent yet often homeless has been married five plus times at 35 years old

[01:30:36] [SPEAKER_00] thinks no one loves her and everyone persecutes her for her political views etc i never thought my girlfriend had this disorder though because her sister was so severe in comparison that i never really stopped and paid attention to a lot of the things that she does do i still hit a lot of the major criteria major fears of abandonment from childhood stormy relationships with men few friends viewing me as perfect when she's happy and terrible when she's upset extreme sensitivity to

[01:31:04] [SPEAKER_00] criticism past issues with bulimia crazy slash paranoid i.e unfounded no evidence thoughts of what i think of her when she is upset and a cycle of shame and guilt about the things she does to avoid emotional pain and dealing with the consequences of her actions anyway she was curious enough about it to go and look this up on the computer take a basic psych test to see if it's possible she scored in the likely score range even with some answers that i thought were denying reality

[01:31:34] [SPEAKER_00] i kept quiet while she took it though that would have scored her higher after that she looked into what treatment was available i know she absolutely does not like the idea of counseling so i suggested books and she agreed to at least start with that so i feel like this is a positive step forward where i was feeling hopeless before she realizes she has a problem and i'm just anxious about whether she will take the

[01:31:59] [SPEAKER_00] books seriously and really work on understanding why she acts this way sometimes 95 of the time i'm with her is wonderful and she is amazing but this 5 of when she cannot handle stress or minor issues they turn into huge blow-ups is very difficult one of her suggestions on what would make her feel better when she does this is if i pretended to be concerned even if it's a trivial issue she says it doesn't even

[01:32:25] [SPEAKER_00] matter if i have to grip my teeth and lie to her it'll make her feel better than when i walk away i don't think she realized it when she said it but we do the same thing to her sister when her sister is saying crazy stuff too overall i'm much more hopeful now but at the same time realistic that she has thus far not really done anything to help herself and reading books could help but not in the same way a counselor could i think i'm hoping that if she reads these books and realizes a lot of things

[01:32:51] [SPEAKER_00] ring true with her maybe she'll be more open to counseling quick edits i know a lot of you said it wasn't about the pizza in a way you're right in a way not she was much more upset by the fact that i wanted to go into my room rather than stay and listen to her ranting about that someone with bpd is apparently much more short-fused when you're not giving them attention when they need it so a minor issue about pizza turns into crazed you don't love me you don't care about me ramblings it really was as

[01:33:20] [SPEAKER_00] simple as the pizza being late and my avoidance reaction set off her insanity the top commenter said to op you two shouldn't pursue treatment from books based on a personality disorder that you've armchair diagnosed this book path won't actually help she needs to work with a pro and you need to make it an ultimatum you can't stay with her as is untreated if you do expect more of the same and remember if you do care about her happiness you must know that the book path won't get her there

[01:33:49] [SPEAKER_00] she needs the help of professionals and you'd be wrong to accept anything less now the commenter says she needs therapy a constant judgment-free relationship with the same therapist serving as a safe zone where she won't be abandoned no matter what you can't be that safe zone and the last commenter on that update says borderline partners are very hard to handle if she can recognize and help herself you can be okay please be firm with her make sure you establish your own boundaries don't let

[01:34:19] [SPEAKER_00] her walk all over you and abuse you be healthy so one and a half months later opie comes in with what is titled their final update and says well i just couldn't make it work with her anymore i didn't want to talk about it in the original post but she had cheated on me multiple times already and i caught her doing more stuff she told me she was just seeing her ex once in a while as a friend but i caught text she had sent him where he was mad that she wasn't getting sexual with him enough

[01:34:47] [SPEAKER_00] and that she only saw him once every couple of weeks so she must be seeing another guy and accusing her of lying about whether she is single or not she replied to him saying she is single and wasn't looking for other guys etc but that she found out he was on a dating site looking for other girls so she was mad about that that combined with other things that have just always been problems has led me to the realization that i will never be able to do enough for her to be happy

[01:35:12] [SPEAKER_00] that there is no version of reality where i can trust her enough to get married and have kids or where i can go on a weekend trip and not worry that she's out with another guy while i'm gone i told her last night that we needed some time apart and she predictably flew into a rage and told me to get the fuck out and said if i didn't take all my stuff she would throw it away i told her if she wanted to be a baby about it do that she could but i wasn't going to pack up the entire house full of

[01:35:38] [SPEAKER_00] my stuff or she's raging at me so i took my necessities and left she apologized today and said she wouldn't throw out my stuff but i'm currently in a motel and looking for an apartment tomorrow i think my mental state has been warped pretty badly by this relationship and i'm looking forward to resetting i haven't pursued my hobbies or tried to make friends in a long time because every spare moment was spent with her and i'm trying to make sure she didn't feel like i was giving her

[01:36:05] [SPEAKER_00] enough attention i'd get anxious if i was running late coming home from work because i was worried she would be really upset most of all i just felt like i was dealing with someone that doesn't think about things like i do and doesn't have the sense of morality that i do i never really know if it's bpd because she refused to go to counseling and nothing i could do or say would make her go i hope someday she is happy but i fear she is in for a lot of short-term relationships where guys are

[01:36:32] [SPEAKER_00] initially thrilled to be with her but then they aren't perfect in some way that's when the ship will hit the rocks again and there's no recovery from it because she takes no responsibility for repairing the damage she causes and only builds up resentment that she isn't treated like a princess regardless of how she treats you edits i'm reading all of your replies so even if i don't respond i really do appreciate the kind words and constructive opinions i'm actually having a bit of a laugh right now

[01:36:59] [SPEAKER_00] because the more i read and write about the crap that went on i realized what a huge drain on my mental energy this has been i own a business and part of what makes or breaks an entrepreneur is coming up with good ideas that help the business grow my mind has been in a fog for so long that i haven't put as much energy into that as i should have been but luckily for me and maybe this is a sign if there is a higher power my salary basically went from 50k to 250k in the past couple of weeks

[01:37:26] [SPEAKER_00] because of a good idea that worked well so i've got that to help cheer me up and the top comment on that final update said i'm sad you put up with her abuse for so long in the end it doesn't matter if she has bpd she treats you horribly and is intolerable she won't try to fix it if i were you i'd sneak your things out and leave her without fully informing her up front because she'll probably destroy your property she's out of control good luck in the future and i'm glad you escaped her

[01:37:54] [SPEAKER_00] obi says it sounds worse than it is when i only talk about the bad she was very loving and kind 95 of the time but the 5 was pretty bad and the thing she did behind my back makes me question what percentage of the time she was faking it some of the affection had to be faked or else there is a disconnect in her mind between her time with me and her time alone and slash or with other guys commoda says mental illness it's been emotionally abusive your freedom and happiness before you

[01:38:24] [SPEAKER_00] good luck commenter replies that saying i was a social worker and i could think of a few disorders that might fit she's best off getting an evaluation by professional but op it is so important that you remember that fixing her is not your job i frequently see people who feel guilty about leaving a partner who clearly has issues so they try to get them help but in addition to the fact that this doesn't often

[01:38:48] [SPEAKER_00] work it's bad for the stable partner and the stable partner does not actually owe it to the ill partner to help them when you break up you are your only priority period obi says there was definitely a strong factor of wanting to help her when i first met her i considered myself extremely mentally strong and stable and when she seemed like such a great person with just a few things that needing fixing i thought my personality and way of dealing things would rub off on her and she would see how much better

[01:39:18] [SPEAKER_00] you don't flip out lie slash sneak etc but i've learned now that 30 years old are not children and if they haven't learned right or wrong by this age they aren't going to change she often told me she wouldn't want to continue living if i died and subtly implied that she would kill herself etc but i don't really believe it anymore because she has plenty of other guys waiting to throw themselves at her if she wants that so i think she'll be just fine or at least as fine as she can be

[01:39:45] [SPEAKER_00] and the last commenter says have a pizza to celebrate opi says lol i wonder how long it'd be before i can stop associating a pizza on friday as something i better get right or my ass is hitting the curb and absolutely opi made the right decision to leave in the end when opi was talking about 95% good and 5% bad dynamic we've seen that time and time again maybe described in different ways but

[01:40:11] [SPEAKER_00] it seems quite common in emotionally abusive relationships that good times that you're enjoying and you know everything's happy and you're showing love towards one another keep you hanging on while the bad times slowly just deteriorate your own mental health which was clearly happening to opi in this situation you know they was worried about bringing a pizza home from work because if they're late they're going to get in trouble about it

[01:40:35] [SPEAKER_00] it was clear in the end by how opi was feeling that toxic relationships like this can drain your energy and you don't realize it when you're out i often call it like the fog that sort of lifts and then you can see everything around you again and you can't be responsible for her mental health especially when she's not willing to work on it herself and that's without going into all the cheating stuff as well but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down

[01:41:04] [SPEAKER_00] in the comments below our next story comes from realistic cloud 3033 and it says my partner cutting off a lifelong family friend because of her inappropriate messages so i am in a kind of fucked up situation i mean i know i'm right to have my boundaries but i also feel guilty that my husband is cutting off help to lifelong family friends because of me my husband is a doctor so

[01:41:31] [SPEAKER_00] it's normal that family and friends kind of come to us slash him for reassurance because someone you know either reaffirming what you were told or giving you a referral if possible makes people feel better zero issues there i love that he is empathetic and it honestly makes me wicked proud of him that people think that highly of him so he has a friend who he grew up with their families pretty much raised them together they were always friends since we met but never like super close plus we live in

[01:42:00] [SPEAKER_00] different parts of the us i've met her multiple times and she seemed very sweet she also was married when i originally met her and has two kids well her father is very sick and with a type of cancer that has a low rate of recovery we live in the northeast and they live down south so our medical care is definitely exponentially better my husband has been helping consult and just being a good friend to them to make sure he gets the best care possible this friend has been a bit needy and using him for

[01:42:30] [SPEAKER_00] emotional support i get it i'm not jealous because what we have is solid plus when he has his medical mindset that's it well over the weekend he woke up to some very questionable texts from his friend she pretty much declared her love for him claimed god brought them together through this and as she always knew they'd end up together like what the actual fuck he told me as soon as he saw them in the

[01:42:54] [SPEAKER_00] morning he messaged her back saying that what she said was highly inappropriate she needed to find a therapist and he can no longer help out she claimed she was just drinking and emotional she also begged him not to tell me we don't keep secrets he blocked her number and i don't know what she told his mom exactly but she's so angry and apparently it's all my fault we don't like each other either i'm not the

[01:43:19] [SPEAKER_00] christian housewife she envisioned we for her son i guess i didn't ask him to cut all ties he did it out of respect and says that she has doctors and family to lean on i feel slightly guilty because i hope that this doesn't impact quality of care maybe there was a way to cut her out and my husband helps her mom with medical stuff when needed this whole situation has been making me feel gross

[01:43:42] [SPEAKER_00] am i the arsehole here i don't think i am but i feel bad absolutely not the arsehole in this situation and you know she crossed a line that basically cannot be uncrossed the i was drinking excuse ain't gonna undo what she said and her begging him not to tell you shows she knew exactly how inappropriate her messages were as for the medical situation like your husband said there's other doctors in place he's got family to lean on she's not like left all alone or anything

[01:44:12] [SPEAKER_00] and i think your husband dealt with it in a decent way he told you right away he set a boundary with her and you know he's suggesting that she get professional help and the blocking contact to prevent further inappropriate behavior but the top commenter says not the arsehole tell your mother-in-law coveting your neighbor's husband slash wife is unchristian right but the commenter says not when mother-in-law sees the prospect of a better daughter-in-law sounds like she raised a gem of a man

[01:44:40] [SPEAKER_00] anyway though you think she'd have the sense to be proud of it twilight says not the arsehole but i bet your mother-in-law has been feeding this woman all kinds of bullshit about you and feeding her ego realistic cloud says i 100 believe that she is flaming this fire another commenter says your husband's a solid dude we must protect him at all costs and op says i 100 agree honesty and clear communication is a

[01:45:07] [SPEAKER_00] huge thing for us so shortly after that op comes in to update their situation and says i just wanted to post a quick update on our situation my husband called his mother to try and set clear boundaries i'm pretty sure she doesn't believe that boundaries apply to her and set things straight before they escalated more well apparently that crazy train had already left the station he called her on speaker

[01:45:33] [SPEAKER_00] phone which he told her while i was in the room she lost her mind and demanded they have a private conversation because this was a matter between family family he corrected her and let her know i am family she went on a rant about how i was displaying abusive and controlling behavior she claimed i was isolating him from family like i did before we went no contact with her once before because of her bad

[01:45:59] [SPEAKER_00] behavior and she blames me and i guess had been holding on to that like what the fuck i had to leave the room then because my anxiety was too much he is the most calm and level-headed person i know and he was starting to raise his voice about five minutes later he came into our bedroom where i was trying not to have an anxiety attack he told me he let her know how disgusted he was with her behavior and disappointed that she didn't learn a lesson about trying to interfere with our marriage he also

[01:46:28] [SPEAKER_00] informed her for an indefinite amount of time that it would be taking space from her he also told her not to try and contact me i have her silenced already oh one little fact came out is that his mom and ex have been seeing a lot of each other his mom has been helping with the kids while the ex friend and her mom are dealing with medical stuff for her dad just to address a couple of things yes i realize i have an amazing partner i love this man so much i regularly tell him and show him

[01:46:57] [SPEAKER_00] how much i love and appreciate him so don't worry the reason i thought i might be someone in the wrong is because i've battled cancer in my early 20s during that i had a boyfriend cheat on me with a good friend of mine because he was overwhelmed and they tried to gaslight me into thinking it was my fault because of all the stress i felt so abandoned and hurt i just didn't want to feel like i was making anyone else feel that bad i know the situation is very different i'm a bit of a people pleaser

[01:47:25] [SPEAKER_00] working on that with my therapist cancer is the worst and my heart hurts for anyone who is going through it that includes the family of a person who is sick i also want to say to the person who called me a narcissist because this isn't about me i think it says more about you than me if that's what you took from my post was just that i hope you have the day you deserve thanks to everyone else for the support and advice i genuinely appreciate it plum major says i read your old post to get familiar

[01:47:54] [SPEAKER_00] and i'm laughing at your mother-in-law's reaction she's upset you're not the ideal christian wife while that friend is going after a married man is totally the christian thing to do your husband is a good man i wish i read more posts where the husband had as much of a backbone as what yours does you didn't do anything wrong opi says she's literally the worst she's so judgmental and controlling one of her favorite things is to make comments and count how many drinks other people

[01:48:21] [SPEAKER_00] are having one day i swear i'd end up snapping and letting her know that a coffee cup she always has with her does not contain coffee pink pencil says you mean she hides her booze oh sneaky that's a huge red flag for alcoholism take it from a recovering alcoholic hope says yep and she's very protective over a cup like she won't leave on the table when she leaves the room for something i think her comments on other people drinking are projecting her issues onto them i will judge you says

[01:48:51] [SPEAKER_00] you say that his mom has been taking care of the ex's kids did he and his friend ever date or would you just refer to her as an ex as an ex friend but good luck to you too hope things get to calm down that both these horrible women are out of your life obi says ex friend oops they never dated or hooked up he actually had a high school sweetheart type deal into college and his mom hated her too scarlett may west says ah so mother-in-law had her heart set on your husband marrying a family friend

[01:49:20] [SPEAKER_00] and her hopes dashed my late mother-in-law was upset for eons that she was not allowed to pick my husband's wife he was the youngest of five and her only hope to achieve her goal not sure why she thought it would work since we dated for six years before we married opi says my mother-in-law definitely had his whole life planned out for him she wanted to pick his college then she expected him to move home after she wanted to pick his wife she feels entitled to grandkids she also consistently asked him about

[01:49:49] [SPEAKER_00] moving back to his home state because they're getting older and she expects him to uproot his whole life to take care of her he's told her that is absolutely not happening multiple times it had recently started ending their phone calls if she brought it up scarlett replied to that saying i feel for the both of you my late in-laws believed husband will return home after studying out of state mother-in-law tried to get him to change his major after his third year because someone told her that his

[01:50:14] [SPEAKER_00] hometown needed more of a different speciality i put another nail in my coffin when i defended him we'd been together less than a year as for grandkids she was not a fan of them not sure if it was because grandkids meant her adult children were having sex or because she did not get to pick the other parent mother-in-law finally figured out that we would not move back there however she did try to bring up us converting one of the front rooms of our present house into a much bigger guest room

[01:50:41] [SPEAKER_00] with a seating area so she could sit and read that room only has two and a half walls and southern sun so she thought it would be perfect probably about double the size of the room she used when she visited just drop in walls and a door and bam happy mother-in-law i knew that meant she wanted to visit more slash possibly move in and that was a hell no we had moved here in part to save our

[01:51:05] [SPEAKER_00] marriage she'd been visiting too often and wreaking havoc luckily husband ignored her mother-in-law ended up moving out of state to live with her favorite child who luckily is unmarried wishing you lots of luck you married her only child and she is not going to let go patty marvel says weird question is he an only child this pushy behavior of hers would make an iota of sense if she had no other

[01:51:31] [SPEAKER_00] children to glom onto loopy says yep only child she apparently had wanted multiple kids but couldn't have any more so he was a miracle baby my mother-in-law did not want to adopt she didn't want to end up with anyone's problem child to finding out we couldn't have i couldn't have bio kids i think that was the final nail in my coffin for her we are happily child free though i would have totally been open

[01:51:56] [SPEAKER_00] to adoption if we had wanted kids and good on them good on husband in this situation standing up to mother-in-law and putting her in her place do i think that's going to be the end of the mother-in-law absolutely not but it sounds like the couple in this situation have each other's backs and that's all they're going to need going forward but what do you guys make of this one let us know your thoughts down in the comments below let's move on to another story now our next story is a tree

[01:52:26] [SPEAKER_00] lore story tree lore tree lore from brandon nider it happens over six years with multiple small updates and it's titled neighbor hired company to cut tree in my backyard context neighbor said he was tired of the tree over his driveway since it had significant wingspan he hired a company and they decided to lock down over my fence to near stump police report filed have the company on security footage that

[01:52:55] [SPEAKER_00] matches the business cards reaching out to property lawyer tuesday to see if this is significant enough to follow through in court and that first one was on may 26 2019 they did share a picture of it of the tree and for the podcast users all i can explain is that the base of the the trunk it's almost like splits into two but one half of it has just like completely been locked down the other side still stands tall

[01:53:22] [SPEAKER_00] but someone asked a question to op on it they said i'm interested to know if he hired them to trim just what was overhanging his property which he has a right to do within certain constraints and they just went rogue or if he somehow convinced them to trespass to lop it off op says he claims no knowledge of the lopping off since this company is unlicensed it wouldn't surprise me if they just lopped it not caring but our relationship isn't great so wouldn't be surprised

[01:53:50] [SPEAKER_00] if he convinced them saying i didn't mind so there was an update five days later that says end of week so i figured i'd post an update the officer got the report done the same day and he was able to reach out to the company who cut down my tree he said he would reach out to me to settle this matter but hasn't contacted me yet and doubt he will actually do so the officer went above and beyond in getting a statement from the other parties and getting the contact information i've handed over the police report

[01:54:20] [SPEAKER_00] security video to my lawyer who is putting together paperwork i have not been able to get an arborist to the house yet to evaluate the monetary damages yet maybe an update next week but this should be a slam dunk since all parties recognize the damages in the police report in case this does go to court so it was four years later after this one before op came back into the post and says this has been sitting in court for a while but i keep getting pms asking for updates

[01:54:49] [SPEAKER_00] tree slash arborist company has default judgment pending as they have not answered anything in the near year since the case was filed neighbor's insurance believes the tree company should be held solely responsible and hasn't budged no sediments offered yet to our demands of valuation near or around six figures valuation someone says it to op unbelievable a four-year ordeal and still not

[01:55:15] [SPEAKER_00] resolved how's the tree doing op says two years were awash as the case wasn't filed case really picked up last year after a change of attorney we've trimmed the tree since and fertilized to promote stabilization slash health due to a missing trunk but it'll have to be removed entirely a bone reply saying and quote saying no sediments offered yet to demands of our valuation near or around six figure valuation and

[01:55:41] [SPEAKER_00] says it was one tree and you are valuing it at up to 100k can i ask how you would get to that number not being a wise ass honestly op says the arborist came in at a 30k valuation treble damages plus trespassing monetary a bone reply saying ah treble damages the most expensive kind thanks and congrats on keeping this 99 of threads like you started end up where we get no follow-up keep the info coming

[01:56:08] [SPEAKER_00] so a year and a half later the op keeps their word and comes back again and says their insurance had a motion to dismiss denied so settlement conference happened today they ignored my lawyer's request to talk prior to get numbers so the zero dollar offered from them in front of the judge wasn't a surprise our 125k request was 90k treble 30k valuation from arborist plus cost to restore the land and it'd be

[01:56:36] [SPEAKER_00] physically impossible to restore the tree with the development over the past 40 to 50 years yeah we were willing to negotiate it's a giant game conference happened and the judge graciously got us from zero to 20k and said it's a good deal i turned it down and i suggested that if this is the carrier's only offer then we would go to trial as we aren't considering the professional's report and just an image of the stump instead some back and forth and nothing really moved including the defense

[01:57:06] [SPEAKER_00] disagreeing with nys tree law is that new york state tree law that they were entitled to cut the property line regardless if it killed the tree judge scheduled another settlement conference for the attorneys but mandated i'm there which i thought was funny since i had no requirement to be there today but she was surprised i said no to what was obviously 20k they were going to offer when the adjuster picked up the phone regardless one thing i did throw at the carrier after we disagreed with the tree was

[01:57:34] [SPEAKER_00] touching his house was his client defendant requested google maps block his home and it's now impossible to verify except through satellite that it was touching his home it never was all of this is bogus talk from both parties since its settlement conference but to me and my attorney they're grasping at straws to get the judge on their side so of course that people were curious and asking questions

[01:57:58] [SPEAKER_00] someone said have you checked the county auditor office many now have street level snapshots of each house as well as possibly higher resolution aerial photos opie says there's other methods like the county aerial map that show you the tree never touched this property but i believe the homeowner was just putting his foot in his mouth as he claimed to all parties but i said he can do it with zero proof

[01:58:23] [SPEAKER_00] the city said he's allowed to throw up the property line regardless of any damage injury or death of the tree no proof and obviously the city's official opinion is different than on a phone call he stated the tree was touching his home which would suggest the tree had a 40 foot wingspan at that point which maybe i should get the arborist to adjust his numbers if that's the case because i didn't think we went that far and high harry interaction says it sounds like only the other homeowners insurance

[01:58:51] [SPEAKER_00] company is involved did nothing come from the landscaping company being unlicensed was there even more details on why they decided to lop it off at the base opie says we have a default judgment on them no response from them since filing assets and insurance are questionable so it might be blood from a stone i assume their insurance also attempted to see about this which is why they're hesitating to pay anything either so it was five months after that one opie came in with their final update

[01:59:20] [SPEAKER_00] and said even though my last thread had some doubters that the case could take so long the last update was the homeowners insurance agreed to 20k and i turned it down and requested to go to trial one redditor in the previous thread said there is no way this is worth any of it but well homeowners came up to 33k and i accepted that and rolled the dice on the tree company the judgment came out after we did an inquest hearing and the judge awarded the remaining balance of our damages

[01:59:50] [SPEAKER_00] 63k and op supplies the proof which is a court document showing the 63k so yeah some cases can take long and to the doubters who think trees aren't worth money here it is edits lawyer is one third of anything recovered lawyer got 11k so far me 22k insurance check we do the same split for anything we get

[02:00:14] [SPEAKER_00] from the tree company and the top comment on all this says wow six years must feel like a relief now six years of dealing with that i mean i know it must be in between things here and there but it's always sort of like in the back of your mind and i'd hate to have something like that it just it would make me anxious having something going on like that in the background all the time with any sort of court stuff going on

[02:00:39] [SPEAKER_00] i remember dealing with some of my dad's stuff and it was just over like over a year and that was enough to absolutely exhaust me by the end of it and i just felt such a relief when it was all over it was just felt like something else but yeah we love a tree lore story don't we if any of you find any more tree stories don't forget to put them on r slash mark narrations but anyway what do you guys make of this one let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to one more story

[02:01:10] [SPEAKER_00] now our next tree comes from the am i the arsehole subreddit from shadow 016 just a quick warning before you get into it there is no update on this story so if you do want to skip it totally up to you the last story of this video i know a couple of people have been saying that they don't like the stories without updates which you know i totally understand i totally get it some people say that they do enjoy you know a bit of a mix up with different stories there's a lot of channels that cover pretty

[02:01:36] [SPEAKER_00] much some of the same stories right and part of this for me as well i quite enjoy seeing your comments on the stories without the updates to see what your opinion is on these kind of things but anyway this story's called am i the arsehole for refusing to let someone check my phone after a co-worker accused me of taking pictures of her throwaway account so this happened at work i 18 male was on my stuff

[02:02:00] [SPEAKER_00] normally scrolling through my phone and watching youtube videos when a co-worker 17 female suddenly accused me of taking pictures of her that caught me off guard i told her i hadn't taken any photos and that i was just watching videos on youtube but she didn't believe me and started getting louder and kind of annoying drawing attention from nearby co-workers she said if i had nothing to hide i should just show her my photos luckily the manager was nearby and came over because of the commotion

[02:02:29] [SPEAKER_00] we both explained our sides the manager said that if i wasn't hiding anything i could just show the last two pictures on my phone to clear it up quickly but the thing is is that i had a lot to hide that i didn't want to show nothing illegal creepy or weird and definitely nothing involving her they're still private stuff i didn't want anyone else seeing so i refused i told the manager i was willing to prove my innocence in other ways but i didn't want to compromise my privacy as a good faith

[02:02:57] [SPEAKER_00] gesture i showed my phone's battery usage stats which clearly showed i hadn't used a camera app recently also suggested to check the security footage after reviewing the footage it showed my phone was pointed at the ground the entire time and the angle wouldn't have allowed me to take a picture of her so i was cleared even so a few of my co-workers told me i should have just shown the photos because she had the right to know if she was harassed i told them that the evidence proved my innocence

[02:03:26] [SPEAKER_00] and there was absolutely no need to show anything especially not to her someone who i've never trusted so am i the arsehole caramel says to this not the arsehole everyone thinks they're a main character these days when i worked in retail me and this lady crossed paths i was looking downwards and then shifted my glasses and kept walking then i heard her scream you just looked through my purse which i obviously didn't

[02:03:53] [SPEAKER_00] and i told her i adjusted my glasses and looked at her like she was crazy she was slash is the cameras were a perfect solution in this context as it wouldn't assume guilt on anyone's end commenter says not the arsehole in quotes if you have nothing to hide just show me your phone and says is the rally cry of people who don't understand privacy or boundaries you're not tsa susan my phone isn't public property just because you feel entitled accusations don't override rights she needs

[02:04:23] [SPEAKER_00] to chill candyland says not the arsehole if she wanted to make allegations then the onus is on her to prove it the manager was out of line suggesting that you had to defend yourself simply because she made a baseless claim if she had suggested that you touched her inappropriately would that set off an investigation are we at a point where people can't use their phones around others for fear that someone somewhere will accuse them of making recordings if she's that sensitive and she shouldn't appear in public spaces

[02:04:53] [SPEAKER_00] where she may be recorded does she pitch a fit over security footage too but what do you guys make of this situation do you think op should have even shown anything on their phone the battery usage etc let us know your thoughts down in the comments below our next story comes from emailed me which thank you to the people that have been emailing me the stories by the way i am getting around to them i promise and it's a neighbor based story so i thought let's make this nightmare

[02:05:22] [SPEAKER_00] neighbor shall we some of you have been calling for it recently the title of our op's post just says life in a sea view estate all right mate you asked the stories about nightmare neighbors and honestly i've got enough material from my estate to fill a bloody book i've lived in this coastal estate for almost my entire life let me paint you a picture of this place once upon a time this town was a proper

[02:05:46] [SPEAKER_00] holiday destination people from london would come down for a weekend at the seaside kids building sandcastles that sort of thing then the fishing industry collapsed in the 80s the big factories shut down in the 90s and now we're what the council calls an economically challenged coastal community what that really means is we've been left to rot while they build fancy new developments in the next

[02:06:10] [SPEAKER_00] town over most of the houses in our estate were originally holiday chalets never meant for year-round living but here we are the wind comes straight off the north sea and goes right through these walls like they're made of paper half the properties are owned by slumlords who haven't done repairs since thatcher was in office when you've got an area this poor it brings problems i'm not judging i've had my own issues with drink over the years but the combination of no jobs crap housing and zero

[02:06:40] [SPEAKER_00] opportunities means drugs and booze are everywhere the council keeps promising regeneration but all we get are more bedding shops and off licenses anyway that's the backdrop now for the actual neighbor stories first up is mickey from two doors down mickey lost his job at the processing plant about five years ago and sort of gave up his wife took the kids and mickey turned his front garden into what he calls a

[02:07:07] [SPEAKER_00] reclamation yard but was actually just a massive pile of junk the centerpiece is this fence he built last summer the council had given him a warning about the state of his garden so mickey decided he needed to tidy up by building a fence around his junk so no one could see it but instead of buying actual fencing he spent three weeks collecting discarded pallets from behind the industrial estate then in a single

[02:07:34] [SPEAKER_00] weekend of what must have been non-stop work fueled by what neighbors reckoned was a considerable amount of cheap lager he constructed the most horrific barrier you've ever seen it's not just that it's made of pallets it's that they were all different sizes some still have shipping labels on them and he's secured them together with a combination of rusty nails bits of wire and what appears to be old belts the whole

[02:08:02] [SPEAKER_00] thing leans at a precarious angle and whenever we get a proper storm which is about twice a month sections of it blow down and scatter across the street but mickey just goes out the next day collects the pieces and puts it back up exactly the same way the council's been out three times to tell him it's a hazard but they never actually do anything about it mickey now sits in the front room watching through the window and if he sees anyone from the council approaching he simply doesn't answer the door then

[02:08:31] [SPEAKER_00] there's the situation with the thompson's place next door to me thompson's moved to spain two years ago but they couldn't sell their house in this market so it sat empty for months then about a year ago i noticed the lights on inside turned out some lads had broken in and were using it as a place to crash now i'd normally have called the police straight away but here's the weird bit they were actually

[02:08:56] [SPEAKER_00] improving the place i watched for a week as they fixed the broken gutter repainted the front door and even mowed the lawn they were quiet never had parties and would politely nod if they saw me i decided to confront them one evening just to figure out what was going on the ringleader a guy called stevie explained they were between homes which i took to mean homeless and just needed somewhere to stay for a bit they promised they weren't doing anything dodgy in there and as a

[02:09:25] [SPEAKER_00] thank you for me not reporting them they'd keep an eye on my place too i reluctantly agreed partly because i didn't have the heart to make them leave and partly because the police response time around here is measured in days rather than minutes anyway the strangest part when they eventually moved on about three months later stevie said his uncle had offered them work up north they left the place

[02:09:49] [SPEAKER_00] spotless had fixed the leaky toilet patched holes in the walls and even left a thank you note for the thompson's apologizing for the unauthorized tenancy the most bizarre thing was that they'd washed all the dishes they used and neatly stacked them in the cupboards when the thompson's son came to check on the place he was confused because it was in better condition than when his parents left i never told him about stevie and his mates some things are better left unsaid

[02:10:16] [SPEAKER_00] fear me the real nightmare neighbors though are the kelly's in the house at the end of our row dave kelly fancies himself a businessman but everyone knows his import slash export business is just a cover for dealing his house is like a railway station people coming and going at all hours staying for exactly three minutes then leaving not exactly subtle their house had been raided four

[02:10:41] [SPEAKER_00] times that i know of but somehow dave always gets away with it the rumor is he's got an elaborate system of hiding spots that the police haven't figured out yet the worst part isn't even the dealing it's the drama that comes with it dave and his girlfriend shelley have these epic screaming matches in the street at 3am they'd be out there hurling abuse at each other while the rest of us are trying to sleep then without fail their makeup dramatically with lots of crying and declarations

[02:11:09] [SPEAKER_00] of undying love usually around 4am just as everyone has managed to fall back to sleep they've also got this massive dog some kind of rottweiler cross that they never walk the poor thing is kept in their tiny back garden and barks constantly i've called the rspca twice but nothing ever changes last christmas kelly's outdid themselves they even what i can assume was in some kind of guilt-induced festive spirit for hundreds of pounds worth of outdoor christmas decorations

[02:11:38] [SPEAKER_00] we're talking massive inflatable santas reindeer with actual flashy noses lights that play jingle bells on repeat the works our electricity on the state is dodgy at the best of times and sure enough at 7pm on christmas eve the whole circuit blew no one had power for 36 hours including christmas day kids couldn't play with their new toys christmas dinners couldn't be cooked and the only house with any light was the kelly's because of course they've had an illegal generator

[02:12:07] [SPEAKER_00] the council keeps saying they're working on improving the estate but the only recent change was when they installed a posh new sign at the entrance which was stolen within 48 hours and later turned up as part of mickey's pallet fence despite all this there's a weird sense of community here when old mrs parsons couldn't afford to heat her house last winter everyone on the street took turns bringing her hot meals and sitting with her for a few hours to make sure she was okay

[02:12:33] [SPEAKER_00] even dave kelly sent his kids over with a spare electric heater which i strongly suspect fell off the back of a lorry it's a strange place to live and probably sounds like hell to an outsider but it's home that said if you know anyone looking to buy a slightly damp two-bedroom house with a lovely view of mickey's pallet masterpiece do let me know and trust me i've barely scratched the surface of the weirdness that is my estate if you'd like to hear more about our little coastal area like yourself

[02:13:02] [SPEAKER_00] i got a ton of stories cheers just on the mickey side of things some people build absolutely amazing pallet fences i've seen people i've seen like videos of people doing it before i knew a guy who once tried that in a warehouse i would work that he would take like the old pallets that were of no use like the half broken ones and apparently i saw a picture of it once huh i mean this guy actually nailed it

[02:13:27] [SPEAKER_00] together he didn't use old belts or anything like that but the state of this thing you know there's certain slats are all crooked some of them are up some of them are down some of them were like this really dark blue color which i think i don't know i always heard that they belong to a certain company i don't know the ins and outs of that but some of that story was really bringing me back now the estate that i lived on i think it was it was care it sounds like it's cared

[02:13:53] [SPEAKER_00] for much more than the council looks after op's estate there as we were right next to the city but the amount of characters doing wild things such as like the dealing and the building random constructions arguments at 4am in the morning just absolutely screaming your lungs off yeah i've said all that as well i can recall being a young teen and you know i used to live in flats so we lived on the bottom

[02:14:20] [SPEAKER_00] floor and above us was was another flat and above us there was a there was a family that's known for trouble dealing and arrested multiple times one of those families that you know you just don't just don't push and there was screaming right outside my window like at 3am or something some stupid time in the morning i don't know what time it was but it was a ridiculous time in the morning there was screaming going on side she's effing and jeffing to to the balcony above us he's shouting back down

[02:14:49] [SPEAKER_00] at her talent to piss off and and all this kind of thing i just like just woke it up and my my eyes are like all blurry and i just poke my head at the window like i just remember her said what the fuck you looking at it's like oh fuck but yeah absolutely wild times and personally i don't know about everyone else here i love a neighbor story so if you have more of those uh coastal area stories

[02:15:15] [SPEAKER_00] as well i would love to hear them but what about you guys what's your thoughts on that one and let's move on to another little story which is from beasting who says i had one who would play loud music all day the same song over and over it was u g l y you ain't got no alibi you ugly for months

[02:15:38] [SPEAKER_00] he'd chuck water at my cat open my post yell at birds in his garden bang on his ceiling my floor when i watched tv would bang on my door when i had a shower and would loudly tell the neighbors that i had the audacity to put the washing machine on when i went out it was a fucking nightmare and really loud and annoying i tried to ask him to keep the noise down a few times he couldn't hear me knocking because of the music had to resort to reporting him to the council which took months because he

[02:16:07] [SPEAKER_00] was a council tenant and they don't do council versus council problems despite me being a private tenant anyway he reported me for being loud and i got in more trouble than he did he moved out on christmas eve it was so good toby jack says old man next door lived next to him for years then i don't know what happened he decided he needed his tv blaring full volume all day every day tried

[02:16:33] [SPEAKER_00] to talk to him about it but he either wouldn't answer the door or would scream abuse at me so i ended up having to phone the police at 2am one morning because i had enough all out war from him after that he kept me awake late at night then set an alarm to get up at 4am and whack his radiator with a spanner then run it along so it sounded like a train he knew i was up at 6am for work and must have slept during the day so he could torment me at night ended up with him getting an asbo but shortly

[02:17:02] [SPEAKER_00] after that he fell off a bar stall in a local pub ended up in hospital and never recovered properly he died after about three months not gonna lie that first night he was away i sobbed with relief to get a good night's sleep i'll never take good neighbors for granted again the next one comes from dust patient who says a neighbor on my street decided to let off fireworks yesterday instead of setting them off

[02:17:28] [SPEAKER_00] in the evening however he thought it'd be better idea to set them off at 4 20 a.m yesterday morning he decided to set off multiple very loud fireworks at 4 a.m on a wednesday morning these things were ungodly loud i'm over seven or eight doors down and they woke me up so i can't imagine how the neighbors either side even felt the guy was drunker than a bridesmaid on a hen party singing and laughing

[02:17:53] [SPEAKER_00] loudly to himself in between lighting over a dozen fireworks one after the other someone must have called the police on him because by the time i was leaving for work at seven there was a police car outside his house i later found out that when the police had arrived for the noise disturbance he got louder aggressive and refused to stop lighting more fireworks and was arrested it got me thinking i'm generally very lucky to have lovely neighbors flank in my house even with a colorful character a couple

[02:18:21] [SPEAKER_00] of doors down but i'm curious about the rest of the uk another one says walking home from work to my pregnant wife i saw blood running down the street got to my apartment block and there was blood running down the steps going up the steps i saw there was blood all over the walls got to my front door and it was splattered with blood it was even on the ceiling i tried to open the door but it was locked from the

[02:18:46] [SPEAKER_00] inside suddenly the letterbox popped open there was a pair of eyes looking up at me the door flew open i was grabbed and pulled inside and the door quickly shut and locked behind me my wife was standing in front of me looking terrified she tells me that the guy next door we had never met was running a security business from the apartment that day he fired one of his employees who went home and then came back to knife his ex-boss i don't know if he survived but we moved right after that and

[02:19:15] [SPEAKER_00] there was a little confusion in the comments below this one about whose eyes was looking through the letterbox which i'm not sure if you have them in the us you have mailboxes don't you i'm not sure if you have letterboxes but it's basically a flap in the door that you can post mail through opie confirmed it was his wife's eyes that were looking through the the letterbox not the guy the guy didn't get into the apartment and pull opie in it was the wife but what an absolutely terrifying

[02:19:40] [SPEAKER_00] situation to return to but irony lace says i lived in a townhouse style apartment before i got married it was me and my roommate upstairs and a guy and a roommate downstairs one of the guys had a girlfriend and a baby that was over all the time and eventually moved in along with one of those little terrier dogs which weren't allowed to have cute dog but it would poop all over the common entrance that we shared and didn't pick it up eventually the roommate moved out and it was just a couple

[02:20:07] [SPEAKER_00] the dog and the baby the walls were really thin and we could hear the couple screaming at each other and the baby wailing most nights she didn't work and was there all day so if a door accidentally slammed or you walked down the stairs too heavily she would come out and yell that you were going to wake up the baby the saturday we moved out we bumped the wall trying to carry the couch out to the truck and she came out and screamed at all of us we also had a signed parking and she liked to park in our

[02:20:35] [SPEAKER_00] spots it was a nice apartment but i was glad to get out mostly due to them i felt bad for the guy he'd always been pleasant and seemed really embarrassed by her behavior mullenberry says my parents next door neighbors are terrible the wife in particular when their kids were in school the mother would sit in the driveway at 6 30 a.m and honk the horn until they came outside to leave for school one day my mom asked if they could refrain from doing that oh hell no

[02:21:04] [SPEAKER_00] they can't honking continues then everyone in the house decides to honk several times every time they pull out the driveway just to be pricks they still continue to do this years later they accuse my mom of having a garden on their property my parents have lived there for 25 years garden has been there for 25 years they call a land surveyor who laid out the edges of their property sure enough garden is

[02:21:28] [SPEAKER_00] four inches over the line this lady goes nuts spray paints a huge neon orange line between the yards digs up the garden puts a tiny fence in it and starts storing their trash bins on the area in the back corner of the yard super inconvenient if you ask me keep in mind this is a neighborhood with a civic association you're not allowed to even put up a fence without voted on permission she accused my parents of putting dog shit in their yard my parents don't have a dog but this

[02:21:58] [SPEAKER_00] family has three wiener dogs that don't get walked she stomps over to my parents house and starts screaming my dad dealt with her he said she was screaming nonsense and seemed super paranoid that my mom was plotting against them and sabotaging their house the whole thing is weird don't be that guy says my neighbor at my parents had ocd for sure he would mow and leaf blow his yard every day every single day

[02:22:25] [SPEAKER_00] if it rained the second it stopped he would go out there and mow and leaf blow he would leaf blow his roof then he would leaf blow his cars then wash his cars every day either had ocd or hated his wife he never talked or waved to anyone either strange dude the neighborhood kids did super glue a leaf to his driveway i wish i was there to see his reaction edit just to add a bit to clarify it wasn't like this

[02:22:51] [SPEAKER_00] guy was obsessed with his lawn in fact it really wasn't all that nice he would actually mow it every day i've seen people always outside gardening and shit but he just mowed and leaf blew every day there had been the days where the blade of the lawnmower didn't even touch the grass he would leaf blow the yard despite nothing being on the lawn it would seriously have been faster for him to just walk over and grab the four or five leaves that'd be on his yard on a given day my family just always dealt

[02:23:18] [SPEAKER_00] with it it's his yard he has a right to do whatever he wanted on it but my god the sound of his leaf blower would just drone on forever my next-door neighbor blew a gasket on sunday morning and walked over and yelled at him one day he stopped and did his daily blow and mow in the afternoon and bruce says god damn it my eyes lit up when i saw this one but there were already a thousand one hundred comments anyway me and some roommates had a neighbor an old lady and her son who was in his 40s probably

[02:23:46] [SPEAKER_00] honestly we never did anything that we know of to initially get on their bad side we'd always be sitting on our front paws drinking beers and when the sun would come home from work he'd always do the same thing he wouldn't look at us he'd just say stuff in his creepy grumbling voice like i'm gonna cut your dicks off i'm gonna run you over with my car this was just as he was walking into his house and he'd always quickly shut the door he called the cops on our dog for being out in

[02:24:12] [SPEAKER_00] the yard dog at large at least six times his mom was once raking leaves in her yard she raked them into a giant pile next to the fence then picked them up and threw them over the fence into our yard seriously the same amount of effort would have put the leaves into a bag but here comes the coup de gras they were having a yard sale so we thought we'd fuck with them thinking they'd behave themselves with customers around we sat on our porch and just watched all day the sun was getting really

[02:24:41] [SPEAKER_00] aggravated he would periodically say stuff like what are you dipshits looking at to which we'd say stuff like what are you gonna tell your mom on us admittedly childish but we were sick of this dude sick of hearing his shit sick of dealing with the cops every other week a few hours go by he pulls out a gun and points it at us my buddy closes to the door ducks inside and calls the cops me and my other roommate are on the verge of shitting our pants totally frozen the two or

[02:25:10] [SPEAKER_00] three older ladies browsing their shitty wares are totally shocked speechless and petrified he's yelling a bunch of shit i don't remember he goes back inside in a huff we run into the house lock the doors and wait for the cops he got arrested never saw him again move the fuck out of that neighborhood asap oh my word that could have gone so much worse i mean i guess the the real warning was there when

[02:25:35] [SPEAKER_00] he's mumbling about cutting your dick off but local comes in with a story and says i remember little about direct confrontations with this lady but my parents had a few stories to tell there was a neighbor that everyone referred to as betty the bitch she would do all sorts of shit to anyone that lived near her she once called the cops on a guy for warming up his truck in the dead of the wisconsin winter he was disturbing the peace she'd fluff the handle if she ever heard anyone use profanity did

[02:26:03] [SPEAKER_00] you leave your dog out for an hour so it can enjoy the sun prepare for cops to come over for the dog that's been barking non-stop for six hours and being neglected her children were not allowed to interact with those people being anyone in the neighborhood and then the doozy i was maybe five or six at the time i was having fun riding my bike up and down the street as young children want to do turns out her

[02:26:28] [SPEAKER_00] kids were drawing with chalk all over the road massive spander with doodles i rode my bike over their artwork and she flipped her shit ran from her porch over to me and knocked me off my bike she was screaming insults at me for ruining her children's work one of my parents saw this shit happening and let her have it i think she was visited by the police but i can't be certain she was a see you next tuesday

[02:26:54] [SPEAKER_00] and i always think after a nightmare neighbor video about how many situations go on every single day across the world with neighbor drama like this and then it always brings me back to my youth and i think about all the people i met that i was younger all the different characters at work that were around the area that i lived and you know each individual there was an archive of stories themselves

[02:27:22] [SPEAKER_00] i can remember a couple of adults when we were younger who would randomly turn up with massive like thick black cabling and we didn't know what it was we never questioned it either you know they were adults we're playing football we didn't really care what they were doing we just thought you know they're doing their job whatever that was but you'd see them you know splitting this big cabling open and pulling out whatever's inside of it and then checking all the waste into a storage and and just

[02:27:47] [SPEAKER_00] taking off the the insides of the cabling which clearly now looking back they were stealing cabling from the local railways and and then selling on the copper i guess i'm assuming it was copper but eventually they were arrested and put away for some years because of what they were doing apparently they i don't know how much they stole but it was a hell of a lot but now i'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this collection of nightmare neighbor stories do you enjoy the

[02:28:15] [SPEAKER_00] nightmare neighbor stories i know everyone likes something different every once in a while and of course do you have your own nightmare neighbor stories you're more than welcome to share with me directly through email which you can find on the channel or or post them on r slash mark narrations it's really easy to create a throwaway account if you want to do that as well just search it up on reddit really simple to do but would love to see your stories for another

[02:28:43] [SPEAKER_00] collection of nightmare neighbors our next story comes from paint content 6734 from the relationships subreddit and it says help i26 female think my boyfriend 30 male is exaggerating or faking his illness saw someone's post yesterday about navigating life with a partner who has fibromyalgia and felt inspired to post here i'm hoping you all can give me some solid advice

[02:29:10] [SPEAKER_00] i26 female have been with my boyfriend 30 male for a little under two years in the time we've been together his chronic pain which isn't connected to any particular slash known condition as he refuses to go to the doctor has gotten worse has gotten worse and worse it's reached the point where he's almost incapable of doing chores or house projects he's usually too exhausted slash in pain to make or agree to plans and getting him to do anything outside of the house together is like pulling teeth

[02:29:40] [SPEAKER_00] his objections always revolve around his pain and fatigue i've never suffered from chronic pain and thank god so i'm not one to judge or accuse someone of making it up since the pain itself is invisible my boyfriend looks perfectly healthy but he's now been unemployed for about four months and i'm starting to question things i'm starting to feel doubtful for a number of reasons and the main ones are that a he never turns down his friends invitations to hang out even when the activity is something

[02:30:08] [SPEAKER_00] physically intense like kayaking or going hiking or going to a music festival and b he's never too tired slash in too much pain to have sex over time it's almost made it seem like he's conveniently in an unbearable amount of pain when he has to do something he isn't at all interested in i.e chores and i'm starting to feel hurt that he just doesn't seem to want to hang out with me outside of what we

[02:30:32] [SPEAKER_00] do lazing around the house i've never accused him of faking or exaggerating his pain but i have tried to talk to him about doing more fun stuff together and it always circles back to his pain or him accusing me of trying to keep him from spending time with his friends which i'm not trying to do by any means i've done a ton of research into autoimmune disorders and other conditions that could be causing his problems always bringing my findings and suggestions to him but he just doesn't believe

[02:31:01] [SPEAKER_00] the doctor or any traditional medicine will help him i'm also bothered because when we go to family outings or parties that we're both invited to it's rare but it does happen he will talk to anyone who will listen who listens ear off about how bad his chronic pain is and how frustrating it is not to be able to find a solution the thing is he's not actually looking for a solution he just smokes weed every day and calls that good enough while lamenting and complaining that his body is the way that it is

[02:31:30] [SPEAKER_00] he also refuses to return to work because of his pain for additional context he seems to have really extreme muscle spasms and tightness particularly in his back i'm happy to support him through hard times but the fact that he won't work is getting concerning and i feel severely stuck i'm not interested in supporting him financially on on a long-standing basis but at the moment i partially am by covering some of his expenses if this post makes me a total arsehole for questioning the degree of my boyfriend's

[02:31:58] [SPEAKER_00] chronic pain so be it i just need help and answers so here's my questions where do i go from here do you think it's possible that my boyfriend is using his pain as a crutch should i put some kind of ultimatum in place that will get him medical care slash attention your advice is appreciated so the top commenter on this one watermelon sugar 47 says even if he does have a chronic illness he isn't doing anything to get diagnosis or treatment and is willing to push on for things that benefit him

[02:32:28] [SPEAKER_00] and only him he also developed a drug addiction he has no plans of curbing i'm chronically ill i'm busting my ass trying to find answers and help because living like this sucks i do everything in my power to support my partner and care for our home or sometimes that's not a ton i always prioritize contributing to my household over kayaking which even if i could push through to do would put me down

[02:32:52] [SPEAKER_00] for a week this man is using and taking advantage of you disabled or not he has dumped this on you without you consenting to be his financial caretaker you are not married there is no in sickness and in health here leave him another commenter says this right here is one thing if he was busting his butt trying to find a solution but he's doing nothing he's unemployed and not searching for a solution to

[02:33:17] [SPEAKER_00] get him back to work is he on unemployment what are his plans for contributing to the household considering his inability to function do you see yourself continuing a life with him and what would that look like it's big questions do you want kids you want to travel is he an excellent homemaker going price for home says as someone with chronic pain even if he wasn't lying i'd leave him chronic

[02:33:41] [SPEAKER_00] pain fucking sucks i've been there it's been over 13 years of it but it kind of just sounds like he slowly made you into his bang mate either he's faking it so he doesn't have to work or do any chores or he has no interest in improving his situation which isn't sustainable if the person isn't going to pursue medical help or disability benefits magenta says bang made that covers his bills no less run op

[02:34:07] [SPEAKER_00] run twitch watermelon replies saying that's what we call a mummy bang made so at some point later op comes in to update their post and says thank you to everyone who responded to my post and was so compassionate and kind it was incredible to hear from so many people who actively battle chronic pain and illness and those with loved ones who do i hope to continue deepening my empathy towards

[02:34:31] [SPEAKER_00] anyone who is struggling with an invisible illness onto my update armed with some fresh perspectives and some fresh frustrations lol i talked to my boyfriend and told him that he needs to see a doctor or i will no longer be able to support him financially and stand by while he remains unemployed and unmotivated to get the help he needs i also addressed the idea of managing on balancing his energy levels differently so that we're able to share the household responsibilities

[02:34:58] [SPEAKER_00] more effectively spend quality time together and keep him doing the things he loves with his friends his response was really bad he told me that if i'm not willing to step up and clean around the house something i'm already doing and there's no use living together and that my efforts to clean at a bare minimum are not good enough for his standards anyway he was also really mad that i haven't taken the initiative to take care of yard projects and car repairs he sat there and spouted off a whole

[02:35:26] [SPEAKER_00] list of things i'm not noticing in cleaning and once again he was focused on the idea that i don't like his friends slash am jealous of them and want him spending less time with them which isn't true at all this really stung he basically brushed over everything i said and focused on my perceived faults this told me everything i needed to know everything i need to know and told him i was leaving he was

[02:35:51] [SPEAKER_00] just mad not sad or hurt at all i'm still crying excessively over his whole reaction i still don't know how real or unreal his chronic pain is but i guess it doesn't matter anymore thank you again everyone for your support and kindness i'm truly at a loss the commenter said to op on the back of this one op i remember your first post i know you're very sad right now and you have a right to be but don't

[02:36:17] [SPEAKER_00] let grief overstay its welcome you're so much better off and he just lost his bang made expect him to come crawling back when he realizes you're serious don't believe anything he says this internet stranger is proud of you you deserve someone who can be your partner regardless of whether they have an illness that doesn't mean they're critical or cruel fiery valkyrie says our man the idea of an unemployed constantly stoned layabout accusing someone else of not stepping up is just mind-boggling good for you

[02:36:47] [SPEAKER_00] for not letting him take advantage anymore kelly ocean says listen to me you will wait a week or two or four but he will try to come back to you you did everything for him no one else is going to do that while taking on all the financial burdens yeah he's toast he was absolutely faking it you don't need to think twice about it update us on when he comes crawling back or once his parents are done with him

[02:37:12] [SPEAKER_00] good for you i remember this from the other day and was so upset that you did all this for so long you're gonna be much better off in life and i'm excited for you now what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story now our next story comes from the wreck it from the am i overreacting subreddit and says am i

[02:37:38] [SPEAKER_00] overreacting by not wanting to go to my father's wedding because of comments his fiancee has made about my autistic younger sister everybody this is written on mobile so i apologize if this looks odd so i 22 female talked to my 49 male father the other day he told me that he and his fiancee 52 female have finalized a date for their wedding in this time my 21 female sister went no contact with both

[02:38:03] [SPEAKER_00] our dad and his fiancee let's call her lisa lisa has never had children so when my sister and i were introduced to her she became very motherly towards us even though we are both adults when we met her my sister is smart funny a witty person who does struggle with mental illness due to trauma as well as she is medium support needs autistic lisa knows about all of this and previously was very supportive of helping her work through these traumas and grow as a person but in the past year and a half things

[02:38:33] [SPEAKER_00] have gotten worse and lisa started belittling and mocking my sister during her meltdowns and even has gone as far as telling me that that kid needs to be drugged up after i reached out to lisa about how to support my sister during these episodes now because of all of this my sister and i are no contact with lisa as well as my sister is no contact with our father as he has also belittled and mocked her during meltdowns i should mention that my sister and i were in foster care from the ages of 11 and 12

[02:39:03] [SPEAKER_00] up until we both aged out of care my sister has a really good relationship with our foster parents while i don't which i'm okay with because i'm glad my sister has someone she can call her mom this is where i feel stuck my father is really the only parent i have left as my mom left when i was a kid in the end my sister will still have a mom and if i completely cut off my father i'll be alone i want to stand with my sister if she doesn't want to go then i won't but part of me wants to just

[02:39:31] [SPEAKER_00] still hold on to having a father regardless if my sister going i don't really want to support someone who is so ableist and often even racist at times but going to the wedding and pretending that everything is fine knowing that my presence is only tolerated when people were asking opie some questions in the comments someone said not overreacting where was your dad when you two were in foster care he doesn't seem to care about you at all opie says he was part of the reason why

[02:39:58] [SPEAKER_00] we're in foster care but it was more so reactive abuse rather than straight up abuse he's done therapy and anger management courses and claims he's better next commenter says you're not overreacting at all and your sister is lucky to have you in her life i'm sorry your father can't or won't stand up for her himself he's already no contact with his fiancee so it sounds like going would subject you having to

[02:40:22] [SPEAKER_00] be in her presence anyway opie says i feel more lucky to have her because she's hilarious going might just feel worse while also potentially ruining a happy day for my dad another commenter says all you have to do is see your father without the wife just go have lunch with him or to see a movie with him etc you do not have to be around the wife you didn't have to interact with the wife much at all if you

[02:40:45] [SPEAKER_00] set that boundary with them but no you're not overreacting talk to your sister and yes medications can help with meltdowns it took me years to find one that helped that didn't make me drowsy or have the not saying lisa didn't take it too far especially since she's a racist but she's not exactly wrong sometimes it does help but you've got to keep trying different meds until it does opie says i agree with medication being a lifesaver i myself have a panic disorder and treat it with medication

[02:41:15] [SPEAKER_00] my sister is now on meds for anxiety and it really helps her in fact she went to the corner store by herself with me on the phone for support for the first time in her life that was just one of many instances where lisa made an already difficult situation worse she has done other things and that was just one example i really appreciate your feedback though i'm so glad you found something

[02:41:38] [SPEAKER_00] that helps you that can often be a long stressful journey another commenter says not the arsehole for feeling conflicted about going to the wedding it's tough when family dynamics are strained especially when it involves someone who should be supportive but ends up being hurtful instead standing by your sister in the situation shows a lot of integrity and love if your gut is telling you that attending the wedding might not be the right move due to how they've treated your sister it's totally valid to

[02:42:06] [SPEAKER_00] listen to that it's important to protect your mental health and the values you hold dear even if it means making tough decisions about family relationships it's okay to prioritize your and your sister's well-being over attending a wedding but you won't feel comfortable or respected so it was six days after that post that op came in with her update and says just thought i'd come back here and give everyone an update i apologize for taking a bit to update unfortunately this isn't a very positive update

[02:42:34] [SPEAKER_00] on thursday i received the invitation to the wedding and had a conversation with my father and i found out that he hadn't even invited my sister whatsoever or even told her about it after finding that out is half-arsed in my opinion reasons why he didn't invite her i decided not to go to the wedding that ended in a huge fight and a lot of hurtful things were said and i've decided to completely cut contact with him and lisa after talking to him i called my sister and let her know

[02:43:02] [SPEAKER_00] what happened without getting into too much detail and stressing her out and she thanked me for always standing up for her while it has been difficult and there's been a lot of tears i think i made the right choice and my partner and roommates agree and they could see every time i talked to my father it would end in me having a meltdown i'm thankful for everyone who left a comment i made sure to read every single one and i appreciate everyone taking the time to read my previous post hope everyone has

[02:43:30] [SPEAKER_00] a wonderful spring commenter said to that one you made the right call family can be toxic and it's clear you were looking out for your sister cutting ties for your mental health was necessary another commenter says i just read your original post you stated if you didn't go to the wedding you'd lose your father and be alone op you made the right decision because sometimes not having any parent in your life is better than having an ableist asshole parents in your life and you're not alone

[02:43:57] [SPEAKER_00] you have your sister who you rightfully prioritized your father abandoned you even you in foster care to age out who was the one constant in your life your sister you did the right thing you backed the one person who has always been there for you and got rid of the extra baggage that is your low-life father you didn't find this update to be a good one because you wanted to believe your father is a good person he's not op so you are much better off even though you can't see it this is a great resolution

[02:44:27] [SPEAKER_00] because your father showed you his true colors and made sure you knew he was not someone you want or need in your life kudos for standing up for your sister rather than support the union of two grossly ableist people including the father that very literally abandoned you and your sister for years and like always when we see situations like this i can't i can only imagine how difficult it is to have those feelings and recognizing the type of person your father is and cutting them out but

[02:44:55] [SPEAKER_00] i always like to think about the long term for op and the sister cutting these people out of their lives i think it's i can only think of it as being like freeing removing toxic people like that but now i'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story now our next story comes

[02:45:20] [SPEAKER_00] from the am i the asshole subreddit from evil lawyer 2010 and it says am i the asshole for causing my neighbor to pay for damages his trampoline caused today around 5 p.m i got text messages from a great next door neighbor who said that a trampoline came flying in a storm and damaged our fence slash barn behind our house i accessed our security system via my cell phone and found out the trampoline

[02:45:44] [SPEAKER_00] came from the neighbors across the street nas or nas we're not friends with nas but up to this point have had no problems with them i inspected the damage and our fence was destroyed almost knocked flat the trampoline hit the barn so hard it dented the metal walls and broke two panels on the garage door there were all sorts of other minor scraping along the sides of the barn as i was surveilling the

[02:46:10] [SPEAKER_00] damage the husband nas came walking up the driveway he did not appear concerned and more annoyed than anything i held our broken gate open for him to enter the yard and look at the damage with me after reviewing the damage together he asked me what i wanted to do about the damages i was still a little shocked and said well your trampoline caused the damages you're responsible i'm guessing the damage is between five to ten thousand dollars the fence was decorative aluminium

[02:46:36] [SPEAKER_00] to appear like wrought iron and the damaged section was four to five panels and cost us approximately four grand three years ago the garage door was insulated and was around three grand two years ago i have no idea how to estimate the cost to repair the dented scrape and damaged metal walls of the barn which again is only two years old nas said well it's damage to your property you should put the damage through your insurance i was shocked and incredulous at the audacity of this person

[02:47:05] [SPEAKER_00] i told him i'm an attorney i actually am in my state your failure to secure your trampoline caused it to fly into my yard and destroy my fence and damage my barn i'm not putting a claim on my insurance i don't want my premiums to increase i have great insurance and an umbrella due to the ponds on the property i have a separate rider for the barn just to be safe due to my profession i made sure i have great insurance i told him i can either get quotes to fix the damages that you can pay or you

[02:47:33] [SPEAKER_00] can make a claim against your homeowner's insurance he said well i'm not paying cash and not making a claim against my insurance this was an act of god i said to him okay i'm sorry you see it that way my firm sues around 200 cases per week not a brag a fact suing one more next week will not be difficult that is when nas finally agreed to put his homeowners on notice and exchange his phone number with me

[02:47:58] [SPEAKER_00] several colleagues and my mentor said he probably never put the trampoline on his insurance and an unreported trampoline can lead to cancellation of nas homeowners insurance am i the arsehole for insisting nas pay for the damage caused by the trampoline flying onto my property one way or the other humble ads is on the back of this one not the arsehole act of god doesn't mean not my problem

[02:48:23] [SPEAKER_00] wind didn't launch a properly secured trampoline like a missile it was negligence his failure to secure it made it a hazard and now he's trying to dodge accountability he doesn't get to offload the cost onto your insurance just because he doesn't want his premiums going up lucas of the north star says not the arsehole as it only makes sense that they should take responsibility when their property causes damages to your own however what gets me is you right you're an attorney op so why are you even

[02:48:49] [SPEAKER_00] posting here about this situation as i feel like you of all people should know regardless of if you look like the arsehole or not your property is your property and if someone else damages it then it's hell and high water or trampolines i say this in a joking manner in my opinion and hypothetically asking aren't all attorneys by law you're the arsehole joking please don't sue me though seriously you did remind me my trampoline isn't fully secure as i took the bricks off it during the winter for other

[02:49:17] [SPEAKER_00] projects and one more comment from exciting peanut1526 who says not the arsehole his poor planning an execution is not your problem honestly if he didn't want to involve insurance he should have opted to pay out of pocket because his insurance may drop him or raise his rates or refuse to pay then he's still left paying out of pocket but now what do you guys make of this one i've seen some videos around of those trampolines flying in all sorts of crazy weather but what do you guys make of

[02:49:46] [SPEAKER_00] it let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and next story comes from carplast who says am i the arsehole for trying to get my neighbors to not block my front door i 32 female live in new york city i recently moved into a small building three stories six apartments in total my apartment is a ground floor unit from move in a neighbor 40 female and 40 male has been storing a large stroller in front

[02:50:16] [SPEAKER_00] of my front door which poses problems every time i have to come and go from my apartment it is also against fire code and explicitly forbidden in the building leases the stroller is there every day unless their kid three male decides he doesn't want to walk one day when i heard them leaving it there i introduced myself and politely said then leaving their stroller there was causing me issues and it's against the city's fire code and asked them to no longer keep their stroller in front of my front door

[02:50:45] [SPEAKER_00] but the 40 male neighbor straight up raised his voice at me while i was holding my infant daughter the woman said as a compromise she'd fold the stroller while leaving it in front of my door as time went on the stroller was never folded up and continued to block my door as it's against fire code and explicitly forbidden in the lease i decided to reach out to the property management for help resolving this issue i just want to be able to safely come and go from my apartment the day the

[02:51:14] [SPEAKER_00] property management enforced this on these neighbors the 40 female neighbor rang my doorbell and proceeded to refuse to speak to me and called her mother her mother then berated me on speakerphone and said i should have spoken to them first ignoring me when i said i did she then kind of threatened me saying i complained about the wrong people i was stunned and couldn't believe this was happening all i could muster was

[02:51:39] [SPEAKER_00] insisting it is against fire code and no one gets to break fire code i'm baffled by this behavior i found it a bizarre confrontation and didn't know adults could act this way i've never had issues with neighbors before i had a child younger than theirs and empathize with their situation but their kid is massive and able to walk they could just have an umbrella stroller like i do

[02:52:02] [SPEAKER_00] i just wanted to access my front door am i the arsehole now this is not the arsehole to me it sounds like you tried to be reasonable all the way through this you spoke to them directly you explained the issue they said that they'd fold it down which you know you seemed like you were sort of on board with but they continued to not follow through with that and it's not just about the convenience as well it's like you pointed out again it's a safety issue if there was an emergency and that stroller's

[02:52:28] [SPEAKER_00] blocking your door it could be dangerous it was strange ass behavior though that she called her mom to then complain about you that that was weird in itself right but op edited their post and says i appreciate the outside perspective i didn't think i was the arsehole but i do have hardcore people pleasing tendencies and it was very clear my actions hurt people's feelings and it gave me self-doubt the reason i engaged with the mother on the phone at all is bizarre too it's all too weird and i'm

[02:52:56] [SPEAKER_00] reeling a little lol the 40 female neighbor has an unusual way of speaking i haven't been able to work it out if it's an accent or what once you put her mother on the speakerphone i had a sinking thought that maybe the 40 female neighbor is deaf and needs someone to talk for her and i felt bad that maybe i'd made a deaf person feel victimized when they can't speak up for themselves but she clearly wasn't deaf as her mother was on the speakerphone with no video and she had zero issues

[02:53:23] [SPEAKER_00] following the conversation apart from this incident and the other shitty neighbor stuff this woman and her man have pulled they seem like normal function in adults the man does not have an unusual way of speaking i don't think her unusual way of speaking is really a factor in whether i'm the arsehole and i've been so eager to be polite and respectful it became clear pretty quickly the phone call wasn't really about helping in communication but just messy people expressing their anger as much as possible

[02:53:52] [SPEAKER_00] but yeah that's why i let the phone call happen messy commenter says not the arsehole why didn't you just close the door on these arseholes just report them again for harassment to property management start videoing any interaction with them opie says 100 i was kicking myself for not recording it it wasn't a long interaction but it went on too long i kept hoping i could make it rational i'd recommend to anyone recording interactions if you think it might get pear-shaped

[02:54:21] [SPEAKER_00] another commenter says lol i'm sorry honey i'm not laughing at you or an obviously frustrating situation but the neighbor came to your door to have a mother confront you by phone sometimes people are just so unbelievably ridiculous it just makes you laugh not the arsehole opie says it's a funny situation i'm still in disbelief that it happened commenter says not the arsehole the getting mom on the phone tells you all you need to know about

[02:54:46] [SPEAKER_00] the maturity of a 40 year old person another commenter says you're much nicer than i would have been when they didn't comply with a polite request i would have chucked the stroller outside another commenter says not the arsehole but i would consider telling the property manager you've been threatened of course that could escalate and make things worse but you're being bullied i'll try to get out of the lease and move so around a month later opie comes in with the update and says

[02:55:14] [SPEAKER_00] so it's been almost a month and i'm pleased to say the stroller has not been in front of my door since the events in my original post luckily i've not run into them in the hallways or experienced real fallout i heard the man a couple of times tell his kid that's where the snitches live and i think the mother from the phone call was in the building once and i heard her call me a bitch outside my door the woman neighbor also stuck her middle finger up at my front door a few times that petty behavior

[02:55:41] [SPEAKER_00] stopped pretty quickly and they seem to have gotten over themselves i'm not bothered by their silly little insults the neighbors also started using an umbrella stroller pretty soon after my original post i'm glad they have finally taken the responsibility for their own belongings and used a little bit of troubleshooting to work their problems out i didn't end up putting a video doorbell as commenters suggested on the original post i don't think i had to as it turns out they just needed to

[02:56:07] [SPEAKER_00] get over themselves get a handle on their emotions i'm actively avoiding them though but that has been easy so far so yeah a bit of a boring update but that is the best outcome i'm just enjoying having space to come and go from my apartment someone asks op for some info they said i'm having trouble reconciling these two statements one the woman neighbor also stuck her middle finger up at my front door a few times and two i didn't end up putting a video doorbell without video how would you know

[02:56:36] [SPEAKER_00] someone is flipping off your door opi says yep i didn't have the camera so i watched through the peephole bit of a creeper move but i was feeling the paranoia opi gives an explanation of how a door is set up did she have to push the stroller out of the way to get to the door opi says yes i couldn't stand in front of where my lock is and unlock my door without moving it i have my own stroller and i couldn't get in or out of my door with a stroller without moving theirs my door opens into my apartment

[02:57:04] [SPEAKER_00] so the door could swing open and shut but i couldn't come and go without their stroller being in the way but the commenter says i'm just going to say from experience with jerk neighbors don't expect the piece to last people like that tend to fall back into their old patterns at least it's quite for now hopefully it lasts for you commenter says you are not a snitch not the arsehole you talk to them first and ask them to move it it's not snitching when it comes to safety you have a small child and

[02:57:32] [SPEAKER_00] so do they and it seems like you are the only adult in this situation they were not respecting the boundaries set by your apartment nor the one you redrew by asking them not to park there they didn't even respect the promise they made another commenter says i'll still put up a video doorbell as soon as possible your neighbors are definitely arseholes and you never know how long they'll hold a grudge now i'm super glad that things have calmed down for op at this moment in

[02:57:59] [SPEAKER_00] time personally i would still strongly suggest getting a video doorbell just simply because and this might be projection because of my past and people that i used to grow up with and neighbors around that particular area that i talk about every once in a while petty people like that rarely change the fact that she's walking past your front door and sticking her fingers up at the front door not knowing if you're on the other side or not just it just says it all to me really and this is someone

[02:58:29] [SPEAKER_00] who came to your door a 40 year old who came to your door held up the phone so her mom could have a go at you but like i said it might be projected it's just because i know neighbors that still got grudges with each other to this day over the pettiest shit but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story and i spotted this

[02:58:57] [SPEAKER_00] title looked a bit of a different one so i thought why not this one's from the true off my chest subreddit from we're just roommates he says i started washing and putting away my roommate's favorite mug whenever she uses it when she caught me i lied about why i 30 male share an apartment with my friend 30 female i call her gwen gwen has a lot of mugs more than will fit in the cup cupboard all at once so she

[02:59:25] [SPEAKER_00] rotates them seasonally she loves swapping them out i asked why and she says it's like getting new mugs every couple of months but there are two mugs in her collection that never leaves the kitchen they are rarely in the cupboard because the second they are washed she uses them again we have a dishwasher but it's broken part of our chore division is that we each take care of our own dishes the thing is i know she doesn't like doing her dishes it's a sensory thing but she insisted that

[02:59:54] [SPEAKER_00] we do our own dishes and i thought that was pretty fair i also know that gwen's most favorite is a spider-man mug she's never told me that i can just tell because the spider-man mug gets picked before any of the others when it's clean i know this because i see it in the sink every day for her to wash before bed with her other dishes from the day there were times that her dishes sat for a couple of days before she could force herself to work through the sensory issues and get them done

[03:00:20] [SPEAKER_00] never got to the point of smelling bad and she apologized every time for any dishes she left over night i truly did not mind when that happened i understand the sensory issues and i'm proud of her for keeping on top of it as much as she was now comes the part i need to get off my chest the background info was important i promise every time gwen realizes she can use a spider-man mug she dances an adorable happy

[03:00:46] [SPEAKER_00] dance while making a tea for the morning she doesn't seem to realize she's dancing or doesn't realize i noticed her dancing either way it's my favorite part of the day when i'm getting ready for work and she dances a happy dance while she's getting breakfast because she gets to use a spider-man mug every single morning it seriously cheers her up and she's been a lot more positive throughout the day since i started doing this gwen found me washing her dishes last week i've been doing them for a while

[03:01:14] [SPEAKER_00] but this was the first time she walked in and caught me bubble-handed washing her spider-man mug bubble-handed not gonna lie i panicked she thanked me for helping her and then asked why i started to do her dishes too she even asked if i was annoyed by her dishes when she left them this was absolutely not the case but i couldn't tell her i watched her happy dances that's creepy right but it's so cute

[03:01:40] [SPEAKER_00] and makes me so happy to see her so happy if she knew i watched her dance she would feel self-conscious and stop doing them she's pretty shy about stuff like that she won't sing in front of anyone but singing is one of her favorite things to do and i've caught her singing along to her music before she realizes i'm home more than she realizes i also pretend not to notice when that happens she has a really pretty voice so yeah i couldn't tell her why i'm really doing her dishes or i'd lose my favorite

[03:02:07] [SPEAKER_00] part of my day i told her i like to get mine done every night it's something my mom always told me to do i was already there so it wasn't a big deal to do hers too it saves water and she does a few of the household chores that i hate because she likes them so i don't mind doing this one tiny extra chore that she doesn't like i feel like i was pretty obviously not telling the truth but i think she believed me she didn't tell me to stop and she hasn't brought it up since she caught me so i still

[03:02:35] [SPEAKER_00] get to see her do her happy dances when she goes in the kitchen and sees a spider-man mug ready for her to start the day edit one all right i'm heading to bed thank you all for your comments to clarify we are just friends we're roommates now but we were friends first anyway it's been fun but it's 5 a.m and i have an appointment at 10 a.m this should be fun good night edit two it is now 9 a.m i just woke up to so many notifications jesus h christ what happened while i was napping

[03:03:03] [SPEAKER_00] thank you for everyone for your responses i did not expect my habits that i thought would be seen as weird or creepy to get so much attention i'm so glad so many of you got a smile from my post as you can tell i like to give people a reason to smile hope you all have an awesome day edit three guys she found the fucking post scatter no for real she commented on the post she made an account

[03:03:27] [SPEAKER_00] specifically to comment how how how did this happen and how did it happen so goddamn fast i didn't think she was on reddit she's always on youtube watching video games or listening to stories choose the picture of the mug as the profile pic i'm panicking update when i'm brave enough to go out to the kitchen i can hear her cooking edit four so i linked the picture with an update and the auto mod

[03:03:52] [SPEAKER_00] did not like it so i've removed the link but the update is still on my profile if anyone is interested that's lovely doing something at the kindness of your heart because you enjoy seeing someone else happy is just an absolute wonderful thing and i don't find it creepy that you notice her happy dances you notice stuff like that when you're when you're living with people and she's handling some chores you hate and you're doing something for her at the same time you know sounds like a healthy

[03:04:18] [SPEAKER_00] roommate relationship but a commenter said to op this is honestly the sweetest thing ever the way you go out of your way just to make her mornings a little brighter it's top tier wholesome commenter says you're both good roommates i'm so proud of you both it's not easy getting along with someone in your space opi says i've never been happy at home as i am with gwen she's so easy to live with and any problems we have had we have been able to talk over and resolve it's almost too good to be

[03:04:45] [SPEAKER_00] true but we do bicker a lot i make fun of her wearing crocs nearly 24 7 and she laughs every time she hears me swearing at my bed after i stub my toe on it i do that at least twice a week i'm an idiot lol i've never been able to bring myself to put on a pair of crocs but i've heard that they are incredibly comfy another commenter says well after all the awful crap that i come across on reddit every single day a post like this is so refreshing op this is adorable does gwen know you're in love with

[03:05:14] [SPEAKER_00] her because she should opi says i mean we say i love you to each other when we leave the apartment but we're just friends opi explains why then says i love you and says one of our friends passed away a few years ago it almost ended our whole group his house was the hangout spot he liked to do the planning for things he kept us together by being the person we all wanted to be around losing him was the hardest thing i've gone through we were like brothers so now we all make sure to tell each other

[03:05:42] [SPEAKER_00] how we feel we ask for help when we need it and we always always say love you instead of goodbye on how they met opi says we met through a mutual friend group and when we realized we were both looking for a place to live and we got on really well it just made sense so far it's paying off opi adds a little pic of the mugs and then says and wait for it update i can't actually post an

[03:06:08] [SPEAKER_00] update in the true of my chest so soon after my first post so here's a small update we talked a little bit over breakfast i'm officially a fan of tea now she thinks i'm an idiot and i agree but she's not mad about the post or about me creeping on her mug inspired happy dances all said and done i think that post was making the best 5am decision i've ever made when says hi everyone opi's thoughts on gwen opi says i was watching her work in the living room today and it just kind of made me realize

[03:06:38] [SPEAKER_00] why i feel different but also completely the same i still have the same feelings of friendship but it's like going from a familiar room to another room that's bigger but it has the same paintings as the first room there's just more wall space of paintings now i hope that makes sense i said it to gwen and she asked if i was high lol opi then added a picture of their chat exchange which just said gwen

[03:07:03] [SPEAKER_00] said you're a dork i made you tea after your zoom call this was on reddit by the way opi replied to what mug is it so i know how this is about to go down when added a snoo smile and said the pumpkin won commenter said wait for real are you together now because boy you've fallen hard opi says the pumpkin mug is a second favorite if that tells you anything and it should i can neither confirm nor

[03:07:28] [SPEAKER_00] deny what conversations were had over tea and toast this morning for real though we're going to do an update we want to have more time to discuss things and figure out where we land and we will post an update once we feel more comfortable the fallout from this post has been a lot to handle on top of trying to figure out how to share without oversharing we're usually pretty private people i never imagined my silly post about doing the dishes would end up changing so much but i wouldn't change a damn thing

[03:07:56] [SPEAKER_00] commenter says congrats king you're all meant for each other none of your mugs better outdo her favorite mug opi says i'm more of a water bottle guy the mugs in the house are all hers so no risk of mug competition although i might order her a custom one for a special occasion someday but never with the intention to make her change what her favorite is so a couple of days after that one opi has another update and says good morning y'all a couple of days ago i made a post at three in the morning to confess

[03:08:23] [SPEAKER_00] to doing my roommate's dishes because i secretly love to watch her do a happy dance when she sees her mug is clean for her to use again that post changed our lives and i'm only being a little dramatic by saying that i gotta say thanks to everyone who upvoted and commented on my original post i'm still shook at just how many people read about me and my mug happy best friend the amount of people saying my post made them smile or reminded them of their own friendships or significant others

[03:08:50] [SPEAKER_00] has kept me smiling for days i'm kind of into making people happy if that wasn't already obvious so the fact that so many people had even a moment of positivity because of me has been awesome when i made that original post it was because i just wanted to tell someone about the mug dancing but i knew gwen wouldn't like it if i told anyone we knew so i came to reddit to shout to the void and oh boy did the void shout back there were so many comments asking if i really thought we were just friends

[03:09:18] [SPEAKER_00] i'll be honest when i made that post we absolutely were just friends we'd never talked about being more than friends and i was happy being friends because we have an amazing friendship i hadn't really thought about there being a possibility for more because dating was always something i planned to do when i had my life together or when i had more money and never let myself consider what i was missing out on by waiting for the right time her finding my post opened the chance for gwen and i to talk about things

[03:09:47] [SPEAKER_00] that we hadn't before and over breakfast that morning we found out where we stood with each other and what we thought things could look like moving forward depending on what we both agreed was the best course we didn't make any solid plans or decisions and didn't want to rush into something that would ruin the good we already had going for us but i'll admit i was hoping for a specific outcome there was one comment on the first post that had really caught my attention to paraphrase they told me to think about

[03:10:13] [SPEAKER_00] how i'd feel if someone else got to see gwen do a happy mug dance instead of me and it hit me so hard i didn't mind the idea of someone else seeing her so happy i just don't know if anyone else she dates would notice what i did and decide to do what i did what if they didn't care or didn't think it was that important or any of the other things i do to make her laugh or smile i really didn't like the thought of not being there to make sure she has the extra reason to smile in the morning gwen

[03:10:40] [SPEAKER_00] wants me to admit that i'm a sappy moron because i teared up writing this i'm a sensitive man in touch with my emotions and you know you love it so shut it you to all the people saying it's possible for platonic relationships to be like ours you are absolutely correct our friend group is very open with physical and verbal affection and we help each other all the time with big and small things we all say i love yous to each other it's just normal communication for us as a group not just

[03:11:08] [SPEAKER_00] between gwen and i honestly if i hadn't made my original post i'm not sure when or if we'd gotten to the point we are now maybe we would have continued as we were and that would have been just as happy of an outcome just a different one like choose your own adventure with multiple options for a good resolution which brings me to the actual update gwen and i agreed we want to try dating we aren't putting a new label on our relationship yet but our first date is next week i'm making it all a

[03:11:37] [SPEAKER_00] surprise gwen helped me write this post and we'll be reading the comments so i can't give any details but it's going to be the best first date she's ever been on or i eat my candy corn pattern socks i think she might be the one for me and i'm going to take every chance i can to make sure she thinks the same about me do something kind for your loved ones for us and everyone can and should find something

[03:11:58] [SPEAKER_00] to happy dance about it makes life more fun love gwen and peter so a commenter says to op after this one yippee it finally happened i'm so happy for you two i'm kind of jealous too i have a friend that makes me really happy but the chances of us dating is close to zero so i hope everything goes well for you two and please promise me that and especially her that if it doesn't work you remain

[03:12:23] [SPEAKER_00] being friends because your relationship is really pure thank you for the update opie says yeah we're definitely being very cautious about taking this step there'll be lots of conversations and checking in to make sure we don't mess things up commenter says the only thing i can say to both you is this you have a charming innocence around you don't take it for granted be aware of it treasure it and nurture it this doesn't have to end and it can get better always assume the best of each other be kind and

[03:12:52] [SPEAKER_00] don't be passive aggressive or hold grudges opie says we both come from pretty dysfunctional families half of us don't even talk to each other and haven't seen my mother in years thank the lord for small mercies lol so when we agreed to be roommates respectful communication became our top priority commenter says this isn't quite on topic but op how did you find such an empathetic and close group of

[03:13:17] [SPEAKER_00] friends i've always wanted that and have a hard time connecting with people it sounds really wholesome op responded saying so the people who started our group were three buddies they were friends all through middle and high school and stuck together after everyone else had been added to the group after being vetted we invite people to hang out a few times with the group if we feel there'd be a good fit we keep inviting them it's like a big club but doing it this way makes sure only people who mesh well enough

[03:13:45] [SPEAKER_00] with everyone are added when was pretty much part of the group when i was invited to a movie night that was the first time we met i can't tell you how to meet people that you'll connect with i'm sorry the person who invited me was someone i work with we went for drinks after a couple times before she asked me if i wanted to go to a movie night her friends were planning and i didn't have anything better to do you just need to be willing to talk to strangers until they aren't strangers

[03:14:10] [SPEAKER_00] anymore and see if they are someone you think would be a positive influence in your life op also adds the best advice i can give you is to want change if you aren't happy for the love of all that's holy change sit down with your partner and say that you aren't happy and that things need to change figure out if you want change together and be a team against the issues or or things we better off with you go in your separate ways ending a relationship does not erase all the good times you've had with

[03:14:38] [SPEAKER_00] them but it opens the doors for the potential of new good times with someone else it will only get harder the longer you wait you deserve peace and happiness even if it means it's not with this person they also deserve peace and happiness i wonder if you approach it from that angle of saying that you're unhappy and you feel like they're unhappy too and you want to team up to figure this out the more you build it up in your head to the point where you feel it's not worth trying you are worth it

[03:15:04] [SPEAKER_00] they are worth it and the majority of the comments after this one and it's always with a wholesome post like this is like now's the time to turn off reddit or maybe youtube in this case but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below our next story comes from snoozeagulls4821 and it says entitled neighbor really did try to steal my parents plant

[03:15:31] [SPEAKER_00] i cannot believe it i must have met a lot of entitled people but never this entitled it all started this morning my parents love to plant flowers on their yard from hibiscus to water lily that most priced and pride is definitely the bougainvilleus this morning my mom went to water the plants and feed the koi fishes enter my elderly neighbor around 80 plus years old they were having a conversation and

[03:16:00] [SPEAKER_00] it goes like this the neighbor says can i have your bougainvilleus two of them mom was confused and said as in cutting some to put in a vase sure neighbor replied no i want to plant them in my yard mom said i'm not sure if the plant can grow after cutting i will ask a gardener opinion if can i can cut it for you neighbor replied no just dig out yours and put it in my yard i have two empty holes and thought of

[03:16:27] [SPEAKER_00] your plants mom said what neighbor said i like the red ones when can you dig them up and put them in my yard mom says i just bought those i cannot give you those yet because it is still in the process of growing neighbor says then let it grow in my yard no need to wait for it to grow mom was getting frustrated and said sorry but no if you want to please go and buy the plant at the shop the neighbor

[03:16:52] [SPEAKER_00] kept insisting my mom even dragging my dad to give it to him for free when they would not budge he kept cursing and left what update that neighbor decided to injure my other neighbor's dog we'll update when he came back from the veterinary clinic bamf said to this one keep an eye out there is a good chance that you're going to wake up to two holes in your flower bed no heat says and the neighbor have two

[03:17:17] [SPEAKER_00] lovely bougainvilleas in their yard reddit says such a coincidence lopsided disaster says dementia ethan replies that saying yes this sounds 100 like someone who is suffering from dementia we revert slowly and brutally to childhood think about a conversation with a three-year-old i want siblings toys you can't have it yet it's hers and she's playing with it ask her if you can play with it

[03:17:43] [SPEAKER_00] when she's done the reply but i need it now now think about what's going on here in essence the same a lot of posts here or in boomers being fooled have this vibe to me absolutely with some of those comments i can see the logic in those that it is bizarre behavior especially if you've seen nothing like this before for this neighbor to come over to you and just demanding your plants in that kind of way no talking about it no oh did you get them from the local garden center or anything like that

[03:18:12] [SPEAKER_00] just give me your plants put them in my yard and then to go on and injure a dog is escalating in itself right my first immediate thought that was someone who was speaking to me i would want to speak to their family and find out if there's anything else going on but absolutely there's a chance it's just going to be entitlement we have seen it time and time again so of course op needs to protect themselves and their property of course but around a week or so later op did come in with the update and

[03:18:38] [SPEAKER_00] says before the update i'd have to give some history of this elderly he's known around the neighborhood as grumpy selfish entitled and ocd always parked his car sweep the floor throw garbage etc to his beside neighbor they always confront him so many times but he insisted he did nothing wrong even worse his 80 blush year old wife also begs for forgiveness regarding everything he did regarding the dog had

[03:19:06] [SPEAKER_00] to be admitted in the veterinary clinic he broke the poor girl's tooth he shoved his walking stick in her mouth she was in her own yard resting the elder he walked into their yard fenced and that spooked the dog she is a french bulldog she barked at him and he shoved his walking stick in her mouth caught on cctv so they decided to have a conversation with my parent as witness the entitled neighbor's wife will

[03:19:31] [SPEAKER_00] be representing him because he did not want to come out of the house it goes like this the wife says i'm so sorry mr n the dog owner for causing so much problems mr n says how are you gonna fix this he already keeps throwing his garbage into my yard but i didn't say anything because of his age now what did my dog do wife reply saying he says your dog keeps barking whenever he walks by your house so he was

[03:19:56] [SPEAKER_00] annoyed and decided to punish it mr n says my dog is in my property what right does he have the wife says please forgive him he's old plus a dog's life is not equal to a human oh deary me yes that is what she said they keep arguing while my parents try to calm them down before authorities get involved in the end they decided to cool down first was hoping and that was the end but no it gets much worse my parents

[03:20:25] [SPEAKER_00] plants started to wilt one by one they were distraught and confused until son of the entitled neighbor came and apologized turns out he did try to steal not just the buganvalias but also moth orchids he cut their roots and now it's dying we'll update later because my parents will be having a meeting with a whole family in neighborhoods coming to set on this one this is trespassing destruction

[03:20:51] [SPEAKER_00] of property and animal abuse the dude is a menace and needs to be held accountable opie says the problem is the entitled neighbor's family keeps excusing it saying if we did sue we are elderly abusing him avon says but you aren't that's just blatantly false him being old doesn't excuse him facing consequences for animal abuse and property destruction storm tomcat says on the contrary

[03:21:17] [SPEAKER_00] if he's in full possession of his mental capacities he's a bully and the family deserves a break from him and if he's too old to know what he's doing the family are in fact the ones abusing him by letting him run rampant and depriving him of proper care ice the pressure says lol exactly this they want to play that game let's play that game same with the wife claiming that the dog's life isn't equal to a human's lady do you know how many people think the elderly aren't worth the air that they breathe

[03:21:45] [SPEAKER_00] at least a dog is considered man's best friend so then opie came in with another update and said hey guys sorry for the late update been so hectic with life and the neighbor that i completely forgot about my account don't know if any of you remember the previous post i'll link it here and shares the link also thank you so much for the replies and advice i read almost all of them and made consideration of my choices that i have before the updates i would like to answer some questions one why is he not in

[03:22:14] [SPEAKER_00] an old folks home because his whole family and i mean all seven sons one daughter three daughter-in-laws nine grandchildren and three great-grandchildren live in the same house the ones with family don't live there except during the weekends holidays whenever there is any disturbance all of them will be involved so you can see why people tolerate with this elderly man two the authorities have been

[03:22:39] [SPEAKER_00] involved before but because all of them can look after him is healthy and mentally okay it is out of their jurisdiction three my parents just moved to this area around one year ago and most folks that live in the area are old folks because my parents are still new they don't really have a say in the people that live there for generations as in we live here for more longer than you and no one

[03:23:03] [SPEAKER_00] was bothered why now since i've answered some questions onto the update my neighbor whose dog lost her teeth filed a police report and are planning to sue them the meeting tried to solve the problem peacefully but because one of the sons is a gang leader he brought his whole gang to the meeting as well i think you can all imagine the chaos that was brought into this mess the dog owner brought photos in a video of the incident including mine where it clearly shows that he dug up the plant

[03:23:32] [SPEAKER_00] but they keep trying to play it down and make it not a big deal but the dog owner is not someone to play with as well he literally says in front of them and this will be settled in court since you all don't want to take responsibility or making compensation for the mess your old man did mr c my dad i will pay for your lawyer fees too let's sue him for both of our problems that's how the meeting goes the son was

[03:23:58] [SPEAKER_00] not willing to take responsibility and my neighbor is not backing down the elderly man hasn't shown his face since the meeting i guess he knew he screwed up really badly oh and recently he fell when trying to clean his cabinet he hit his head pretty badly that needs to be hospitalized for a few days and stitches calmer i guess and op did add a video of this old dude sticking his cane through the neighbor's

[03:24:23] [SPEAKER_00] garden poking at the dogs and obviously a lot of people telling op to be careful after this especially when it was mentions of gangs being involved maybe get some cctv all that sort of stuff to protect yourself i guess they're already trying to be intimidating by the the whole gang turning up to this meeting but what do you guys make of this situation how would you deal with it if it was you

[03:24:47] [SPEAKER_00] let us know your thoughts down in the comments below let's move on to another story now our next story comes from queen of moths from the entitled people subreddit and it says um actually expecting me to clean up after my pet makes you entitled man i'm still trying to process an exchange i had this morning i was sitting on my balcony having breakfast and there was this woman i've never spoken to walk

[03:25:14] [SPEAKER_00] in her dog we don't know her but my roommate and i see her down there pretty much every day she's around our age i would guess so either in her 30s like us or maybe in her 40s we've never exchanged so much as a hello up to this point now i really like my apartment complex it's cute and pleasant to walk around and the only thing that really sucks is when people don't clean up after their dogs

[03:25:38] [SPEAKER_00] it's so freaking gross and i hate when people don't do it you're a grown-up who made a choice to have a pet that comes with responsibilities that you have to keep up with most people around here do clean up after their dogs that i've seen so we know it's just a few rotten eggs if i see people who don't look like they're doing it i call them out which i know comes with risks but come on people the response is sometimes defensive sometimes a bit of twisting the truth like oh i was just going

[03:26:07] [SPEAKER_00] to but they all know they should be doing it anyway this woman has her dog right by our balcony and my friend and i were just chatting until i noticed the woman walking away without cleaning it up so i said in a tone more polite than the situation probably merited excuse me are you going to clean up after your dog and she says in this snide snotty voice no i'm good thanks i immediately

[03:26:33] [SPEAKER_00] burst out laughing though not the good humored kind because i couldn't believe the audacity i said wow that's really pathetic which apparently is more than she expected me to do because she came marching back i have to imagine most people don't call this woman out for her to have that kind of immediate vitriol makes me think she's that kind of spoiled just in general and was angry i'd embarrassed her but she clearly knew i was right because she had to come back and double down

[03:27:02] [SPEAKER_00] so she comes running at us with this kindergarten logic and goes i'm not the only one who doesn't clean up after my dogs lots of people don't clean up after their dogs and i was like so how does that absolve you of adding to the problem she keeps going on about how other people do it too so i said cool then give me their names let's have a list because i don't see any of them right now and she's like open your eyes and figure it out for yourself i was like that's what i'm doing right now

[03:27:30] [SPEAKER_00] she keeps shouting that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to and she doesn't care what i think so i was like holy crap i've never met such an entitled person it's insane to me that you're getting this angry over someone expecting basic decency out of you and she says no you're entitled i burst out laughing again and said i'd clean up after my animals me telling you i don't

[03:27:55] [SPEAKER_00] appreciate you leaving messes on our shared property doesn't make me entitled you're a grown ass woman who knew what responsibilities she'd have when she got a pet there are tons of people who don't want to see your dog's crap you're not the main character at this point i feel like this woman has never been confronted beyond her first snarky response and i have a bubbly and friendly tone normally so she probably had expected to have scared me or shocked me into silence with that

[03:28:22] [SPEAKER_00] callous initial reaction because she is practically melting down trying to upset me while my friend and i laughed she gave me a snarky have a nice day and i wished her the same in an equal tone then she waddled off and no that's not me calling her fat she was actually really fit she just walked in a very exaggerated cartoonish way like jessica rabbit or some crap i thought she was going to be snarky but my friend says she just always walks like that we took a short video of her

[03:28:52] [SPEAKER_00] sadly not of the incident itself as we had to go grab our phones i plan to take it to the front office just to let them know it's only step one i doubt anything will be done with just this but this has been driving me crazy i'm ready to start holding rude people accountable fortunately i can use the corporate offices if the people here don't start to put pressure on people who are blatantly breaking their lease it's right in there that you have to clean up after your animals i'm not trying

[03:29:20] [SPEAKER_00] to get anyone evicted but i'm hoping she at least feels the pressure to act like a grown-up and take care of her pets like i wouldn't cry if she got a fine or something seriously though it's painful to me that people like this even exist she was so confident that she was somehow in the right that she didn't even try to lie about it like woman you aren't 12 the other people do it argument isn't

[03:29:42] [SPEAKER_00] going to hold up in court lol i got a glimpse of a comment mentioning that some people have to like submit dna of their pets so you know if there's a dog turd that's been left somewhere they can get like a dna sample and send it off to a lab and then that person gets charged for the lab test and a fine for the and a fine for the dog mess itself i mean it's a good plan i just never heard of them doing that before it's like wow stardust says wild i don't live at a complex but there's there's a trail

[03:30:12] [SPEAKER_00] near my house and i thank my lucky stars they keep trash bags i can grab for my dog now because before i'd have to grab leaves when i forgot to bring bags my brain remembered water and tupperware to hydrate my dog i've had to get diarrhea poop off trails with leaves which is the worst she has a sensitive stomach but i can't imagine leaving poop right in front of someone i'd be embarrassed opie says yeah there are bag dispensers in three spots around the main square so they don't even

[03:30:40] [SPEAKER_00] have to go back to get them it's just laziness and entitlement but yeah while things like that suck for sure there are always instances where they weren't facing that kind of problem i'm glad you're a good dog owner i feel like going out of my way to praise people for basic decency when i see it but opie came in with an update and said so yesterday i posted about having a nasty encounter with a neighbor of mine who is apparently too good to pick up after a dog she made sure to let

[03:31:07] [SPEAKER_00] me know that i was the entitled one for not wanting dog poop all over the property and she made sure to toss in some classist remarks expecting maintenance people to clean it up someone suggested in the comments that she might be the pathetic sort to come back and intentionally try to provoke us i thought for sure she wouldn't be that dumb turns out i was the fool for giving her that much credit but it's a good thing she did because i got a great video of her i'm not going to upload it for a number

[03:31:36] [SPEAKER_00] of reasons but i might if she tried to do it to me it played out in entitled loser 101 to a degree that it almost felt unreal i can't believe people like this truly exist she came by intentionally brought her dog right beneath our balcony this time and waited i was like cool let's record so we sit there she waits for her dog to poop then she starts to walk away of course proof thank you however as she

[03:32:03] [SPEAKER_00] walked away she saw i was recording and turned back she started shrieking oh my god are you trying to record me you know that's illegal right i said yes i am it's not illegal you're in a public place she starts yelling at me to mind my own business and that none of this concerns me i told her that it did concern me because i live here too and i don't want a poop covered apartment complex nor do any of the other residents i would imagine she told me i didn't own the complex like that makes

[03:32:32] [SPEAKER_00] it okay to you mom we had a back and forth and she started recording me back telling me threatening things like thanks for exposing yourself implying that she's gonna dox me and put it online hopefully nothing comes of that just because i want my privacy but i haven't done anything wrong so i'm not worried about it otherwise when that didn't upset me as she clearly intended she started trying to insult me

[03:32:56] [SPEAKER_00] and it was hilarious this is probably because of your weight my best friend and i burst out laughing she called me a fat b so i started recording again to catch anything else she might say she told me she was reporting me and i told her to please do it so they'd know who she was when i report her it was freaking bonkers this woman is a nightmare i'm actually worried this is going to escalate into something even worse but i guess we'll see so the second she left we took the video down to the

[03:33:26] [SPEAKER_00] front office i showed it to one of the landlords who was appalled i mentioned the day before and how that had gone down and i verified that she was indeed breaking her lease also the landlord thanked me for policing people who just leave dog poop behind she said they've been trying to get people to take responsibility and it's turning into a real issue after that she gave me her email and asked me to send her the videos i did so and now we'll see how it unfolds i also told her that the woman threatened

[03:33:54] [SPEAKER_00] to report me so she may actually call in herself and unintentionally turn herself in i also mentioned worrying about potential retaliations so that it's just out there if she calls the cops i fortunately have videos so she won't be able to make up anything about me harassing her or something i've been told not to engage with her if she comes back again but to just contact the office and tell them that she's here i really don't know what to expect i just wanted to enjoy a nice morning on my balcony i'm

[03:34:21] [SPEAKER_00] seriously blown away all this because someone asked you to pick up your dog's poop what is this world coming to ultra cyborg says glad the apartment complex has taken action against her opi says same i had no idea what to expect i was so relieved talking to her she was pissed especially when i mentioned the part about her saying the maintenance people can just do it i was worried they'd just brush it off but they're taking it seriously katana says honestly this infuriates me i'm a responsible pet

[03:34:51] [SPEAKER_00] owner i've never not picked up my dog's poop even if she goes on the vacant lot that is on our route opi says that's honestly one of the things that pisses me off the most she's making other dog owners look bad i know most dog owners are responsible and aren't entitled like this but people remember the rude jerks more it makes me so sad but opi came in with one more update which was titled potentially

[03:35:15] [SPEAKER_00] hopefully final update on dog poop girl hey guys sorry it's been a while i know a lot of people have been wanting an update unfortunately it's not as exciting as some of you were hoping for but i'm actually happy with how things went down so the very next day dog poop girl showed up again but this time she didn't come over near our balcony i don't know if someone in her life told her she was going to get in trouble or what but it seemed clear she still wanted us to know she was just fine with

[03:35:44] [SPEAKER_00] what had happened i emailed the landlords as they requested and said she was outside right now etc the office thanked me and then i never heard from them again the next day a different woman was walking her dog i thought that was kind of weird but i figured maybe she hired someone so she could leave that job to someone beneath her for around a month or two i think i can't remember the full timeline we didn't see her and we could only speculate maybe she lived with her boyfriend here

[03:36:12] [SPEAKER_00] one of my roommates said she saw her with a guy and he told her to stop staying over if she was gonna cause problems maybe she got the fine and threw a temper tantrum and left i figured she also could just be avoiding our side of the property it was hard to say but i was just glad to not have to deal with her finally a couple of weeks ago i was heading to the other side of the property and i saw her with her dog so she's still here clearly just avoiding our side of the complex and that is more than fine with me

[03:36:41] [SPEAKER_00] no idea what went down throughout that period and i'm not sure i ever will i did notice she seemed to have dog poop bags with her this time though lol i can only speculate that they caught her find her and told her that there'd be more fines after that i don't know what happened but they took some sort of action with the dog owners in our building because i now see every dog owner walking around with bags the dog poop problem has gotten much better maybe knowing their neighbors were watching and tired of

[03:37:09] [SPEAKER_00] their nice walking area being covered in excrement motivated them to be more responsible here's hoping it stays at this level i really don't like having confrontations but i'm also not really one to put up with other people's crap hey figuratively or literally i know that some of you were hoping for a big explosion or some juicy details can we not say big explosion or juicy details when we're

[03:37:35] [SPEAKER_00] talking about dog poo regarding this woman being put in her place i'm personally just glad to not have to see her anymore she never tried to retaliate thankfully and i'm guessing people in her life let her know she was digging her own grave actually wonder if part of why she avoids this completely is so that we don't see that she's being forced to pick up poop now which is a hilarious thought if anything else suddenly happens i promise to update again but as it is it looks like this is sort of quietly sold

[03:38:02] [SPEAKER_00] itself i do kind of wish i knew more details just out of my own nosiness but we can at least all be satisfied with the fact that she was absolutely convinced she was in the right and it blew up in her face she's probably still awful of course but at least someone is holding her accountable i waited this long to see if anything else happened but it looks like this might be the end of the story which i'd

[03:38:26] [SPEAKER_00] honestly prefer however if anything comes up again like i said i'll let you all know thanks for sharing inventing with me while i dealt with a very very frustrating situation i appreciated all your comments and support i used to have a manager when he saw people leaving dog poo on the the local field where i used to work this is the market research place there's a massive field next to where we used to work and we used to go out there and you know just talk away and look at the field on a nice sunny day

[03:38:55] [SPEAKER_00] and just chill out you know and there's loads of dog walkers on that field especially on a sunny day but my manager at the time irish dude took no shit lovely as you like when you get to know him but you know he comes across as very standoffish but if he ever saw anyone leaving dog shit on the field holy moly he was straight over there and rightfully so he'd give him a lecture about you know kids play on that field as well i remember someone tried walking away right right in front of us the dog

[03:39:23] [SPEAKER_00] had a crap and he clearly never had no bags or anything my manager said oh where are you going and the guy turned around was like sorry what was that and he said where are you going you've just left dog shit on the grass and the guy was muttering uh i got i got no bags so my manager dude went in and got like a plastic carrier bag like from a local supermarket or something he just went there you go and basically just stood over him while he picked up dog shit but alarmed quoted op saying

[03:39:49] [SPEAKER_00] she's probably still awful and alarm says oh definitely in my experience they're not picking up after pets is just a symptom of a much bigger issue with these people they don't feel any social obligation towards their environment or the people around them and that's not likely to change at least she's evidently feeling the pressure over the poop thing though congrats yeah and i'd probably agree with that comment just from stuff i've seen in the past there's probably a probably the tip of the

[03:40:15] [SPEAKER_00] iceberg with her probably a right nightmare neighbor to live next to as well obviously i don't know and i'm just assuming that but in the end i'm glad it all worked out for op shaming her and hopefully she did get a final two but let us know your thoughts down in the comments below have you ever dealt with a nightmare neighbor like that let us know your thoughts and just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world

[03:40:42] [SPEAKER_00] to me so thank you so so much and hopefully i'll see you in the next one take care and much love