Fiance Wants To Break Our Engagement Due To Chickens?! r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now, today's first story comes from severallobst3237 and it says, My fiancé is considering breaking off our engagement. Am I the arsehole here?

[00:00:29] I, 28 female, and my fiancé, 29 male, have been engaged for three months and dating for two and a half years. Everything was going great and we were very happy. But recently we started having some issues.

[00:00:42] We're not having a wedding ceremony, mainly because we want to start having children soon and I don't want to spend that kind of money. Both of our families live abroad so it would be very expensive to fly everyone out and reserve it for our down payment on our house. We decided to buy a house together and after that get legally married and start our family once we get settled. This is where the issues came. The fruit and vegetables kind, not the animal type, from both sides of my family.

[00:01:10] But my parents are not farmers. My dream has always been to have a farm for personal use. Not as a job, but my fiancé doesn't want that and I accepted that. However, one thing that is non-negotiable for me are my chickens. I have 10 chickens and he knows that. So when house hunting, I was looking for a house with a decent backyard to raise them freely as I do in the house I'm renting for now.

[00:01:34] He started getting distant and avoiding me after I told him I planned to bring my chickens to our new house but I didn't put two and two together until I asked him a week later. After a week of being avoided, I decided to go to his house to talk things out this past Saturday. I asked him what was wrong with him and he said that he thought I would get rid of my chickens before moving together and that's why he was putting up with it.

[00:01:57] But that he didn't want chickens in our house and that it was making him reconsider our relationship because, his words, he didn't want someone who came with package and then asked me to get rid of my chickens. This made me extremely angry and I admit that I lost it. I started hysterically crying and told him that my chickens were more important to me than our relationship. I said this without thinking in a state of panic. So if he was not willing to accept that my chickens are coming with me, then we are done.

[00:02:26] I got in my car and went home. I spent the whole day crying. He tried calling me and I did not pick up because I didn't want to say more things I didn't mean, which I told him in a message. On Sunday, I was feeling better and decided to call him and we agreed to meet for coffee that same afternoon to talk about it. I started by apologizing about what I told him and I told him it was not how I felt at all, to which he told me that he knew I didn't mean it and that he didn't hold it against me.

[00:02:55] I decided to be honest with him and told him about the farm thing, how it was my life's dream and that it affected me not being able to have this when we could well afford it. We are both engineers and have decent salaries and he wouldn't need to do anything on it. I was honest about how I was not aware of the impact this had on me until he asked me to get rid of my chickens, which, as weird as it may sound, I love like my own children. Ultimately asking me to get rid of the last piece of my childhood dream and how that just set me off.

[00:03:24] He said I was being selfish and that he needed some time to think because he was not sure if this is how he wanted his life to be from now on, which I accepted, though being honest I don't understand. I talked to my best friend about this and she told me to just give up the farm thing, insinuating that I was in the wrong, but I assume not wanting to directly tell me. Me and my fiancé have not talked after that and I'm giving him space to think about our situation. Am I really in the wrong here?

[00:03:52] I genuinely do not understand why this is such a big deal. And I feel like he really must not love me as much as I thought he did if he doesn't want my dreams to come true and is eating me alive. Any advice is appreciated, but please don't be too harsh. So on the back of that, someone asked OP, was they planning to have the chickens inside the house? OP says no, I do not. I have them in my backyard.

[00:04:16] I was thinking about building a fence to keep them in a separate space since I understand it might be uncomfortable for him if they can be around the whole backyard. And says we talked about this on Sunday. They wouldn't come in the house and I told him he wouldn't have to do anything for them and they are my responsibility. But he doesn't agree. And says I don't know if you've had chickens before, but they really do not require much. You can go on weekend trips easily and hire someone to feed them for longer trips.

[00:04:42] I didn't kill my chickens and I did tell him that they are my responsibility and mine alone so he would not have to do anything. They are not fed with his money. Honestly, I make slightly more than him and he has expensive hobbies too. But even if money is not an issue, we agreed on a house outside the city because we want to have a large family. I really don't get why you would think I'm going to have him do everything when I've been taking care of them alone for years. A commenter says, honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't discuss this earlier in your relationship.

[00:05:11] I myself being an urban person, I can understand why your boyfriend may be reluctant about raising a chicken for starters. I won't want that responsibility further. I'm sort of nauseated with the whole idea of seeing my dinner roaming in my backyard, pooping, eating and more. Opie says, well, I think it's worth mentioning that we are both vegetarian. We did talk about pets and we agreed on dogs and cats. I assume they were fine because, honestly, I talk about them more often than I should and he never said anything about it.

[00:05:40] Someone says, why did it take Opie so long to talk about living on a farm and such? Opie says, he knew that my dream was to have a farm before this. I agreed to not do the farm thing, but I didn't think my chickens were included here, since they are my pets and I live with them. The getting rid of my chickens thing was the last straw, since it's the closest thing to what I actually wanted. Getting rid of that was just too much for me to handle.

[00:06:05] Why is my spider senses tingling and telling me that it's not going to be about those cheeky chickens? And, you know, avoiding your partner after you've had a disagreement for a week and not talking about anything, that's just not the way to deal with things, is it? So, I know it sounds like a big leap, but I would certainly be questioning if you two should be potentially getting married when you can't have a level-headed discussion about this to begin with. But Opie did update their post and said, hello.

[00:06:32] I wanted to give an update to my post since a lot has happened in a week and, honestly, I need to get it off my chest. I also wanted to thank everyone for giving their thoughts on the situation and take the time to respond. This is my original post, and then shares the link, and then says now onto the update. I guess this does not come as a surprise to anyone, me included, but we broke up. There's a lot more to the story than what I knew, and honestly, I'm still trying to process everything that has happened.

[00:06:59] After almost a week of no contact, he called me on Friday and told me he wanted to talk to me as soon as possible. So, I told him to wait for me in the house, and I would go there once I was done with work. I got home at 9pm, and I found him drunk on my couch crying while hugging his dog. Why was his dog in my house? I had no clue either. By the time I got home, he was way too drunk to have a conversation with me, so I put him to sleep and decided we would talk the next day.

[00:07:26] I woke up first, so I started cleaning the kitchen, which he made a mess trying to find any alcohol. But at some point, he came in, looked me straight in the eyes, and told me, I'm moving to New York. We are over. Before even saying good morning. After that, he tried to leave, but I grabbed him and asked him to explain himself. We talked, and he finally explained himself. He told me how before everything happened, he thought about living on a farm, and how the more he thought about it, the more he liked it.

[00:07:55] And that he was thinking about suggesting it to me again, after he said that there was no way he could live that way and just to forget about it. After that, he told me everything that has been happening recently. Apparently, a day before he started ignoring me, his boss told him that there was a vacancy on a role he could take in the main office in New York. He was working on a branch in our city, and he asked for a day to think about it. But he really wanted to take it. He talked to his mom about it, and she told him that it was good,

[00:08:24] and that we could both move to New York together, and start there as a new family. After that, he decided to call my best friend. I don't know why. And she told him that I would never approve of moving to New York, and he shouldn't even suggest it, because I would get mad. That he should either move alone, or reject the job, but not tell me. This makes me sound horrible, but I swear I can in fact communicate. I do not know why she says that. After that, he again called his mom again,

[00:08:53] and told her that he was moving to New York alone, and breaking off our engagement. And his mom told him that this was a horrible idea, and that he should just reject the offer, because he was getting old, and needed to start a family soon. Mind you, this man is pushing 30, and still doing everything his mom tells him. So of course, he decided to just do that. The next day, he rejected the offer, and that's when he started ignoring me. During the week, he was ignoring me, he thought about everything, and decided the best idea was to make me sacrifice things too.

[00:09:22] Until he didn't feel bad about rejecting the job offer anymore. Miserable, but together basically. So everything started with asking me to get rid of the chickens. He called me selfish, because he gave up a lot for me, but I wasn't willing to give up my pets for him. Mind you, I did not know he had rejected the job offer, and he asked for time to think about our engagement, because he didn't feel better about anything after telling me to give up something. And he had to think about how far he should go, to feel better about rejecting the job offer.

[00:09:51] Or if he'd feel better after all, I gave up almost everything for him. The audacity of this man. So basically, the chickens were never an issue. He was just trying to make me feel miserable, because he was. On Friday, he came to the conclusion, that he did not hold enough power over me, to make me give up everything for him. Finally. So he decided to just move to New York alone, and break up with me. He contacted his boss, to ask if the job offer was still valid. But after two weeks, it obviously wasn't.

[00:10:20] There was a lower position available. Worse than his current job. And since he already made up his mind, he just took it. That's when he called me, and told me he needed to talk to me ASAP. He went home, picked up his dog. Too big to bring to an apartment. So he's just getting rid of it, by giving it to me. Said by him. And came to my house to drink everything I had in my home. After telling me all this, he decided it was an amazing idea to ask for the ring back. But after everything, he said there's no way I was not selling it.

[00:10:49] But after everything, he said there's no way I was not selling it and taking the money. That's the situation we are in now. He left after that, and obviously left the dog in my house. This weekend was hard. It's weird to go from engaged to single, but it's better to break it off now than when I've given up everything for him. And we have children stuck in the middle of everything. I'm also trying to figure out whether my best friend is really my best friend or not. I did not go into detail, but the bitch dragged me through the mud to my ex. But that's another story.

[00:11:19] I also contacted my boss today and asked if there was any possibility of working from home full time. I'm currently work from home four days a week and go to the office on Friday. And it might be possible in a few months. So I'm very excited to move further away from the city and getting my dream farm. Hopefully I find a farm man to build my dream farm and a big family with. But for now, I'm focusing on myself and my chickens. And I'm going to buy a coop like those in the movies with seats for each one of them that look like a little house.

[00:11:49] Because after all this, I feel like I deserve it. Anyway, I'm doing better than I expected. And I'm loving having a St. Bernard in my house. It makes it feel a lot fuller. I bet it does. And I love it. I don't know how if anyone wanted an update, but that's it. Hope you enjoy. If anyone has any tips on how to get over all this, let me know. Now let's start off with that best friend. That is definitely not a best friend. Especially if she's talking shit behind your back. And telling the boyfriend not to talk to you about any of this.

[00:12:18] Very weird behavior. Yeah, I dropped that person instantly. And I think you dodged a bullet with this guy. Just look in this post, in this update, what he's done. That he's left a mess in your house for one which you had to tidy up. Drank all your alcohol. Decided to just tell you that he's leaving the way he did. Just like that. Flip-flopping all over the place. And then just abandons his dog. Who abandons their dog? And I'm assuming didn't offer any money to care for the dog at all. And don't get me wrong.

[00:12:46] I'm super happy that you got the dog. Because you're a wonderful person. And I imagine that dog's a wonderful dog. So you sound like a fit. And I'm sure doggo's gonna love that farm life as well. Then Opie answered a couple more comments. Opie said, thank you. To be honest, we've always had issues with communication on his end. And it was the cause to most, if not all, of our fights. So that's definitely a must for my next relationship. Another commenter says, why wouldn't he even suggest moving to New York together? That's extremely weird.

[00:13:16] Opie says, because my best friend told him not to. He really is that simple minded somehow. Another commenter says, please update us after your talk with your best friend. Because that came off as a bit suspicious to me. Maybe she will end up and move to New York. Because she thinks he will like seeing a familiar face. And fall madly in love. Or maybe she was just jealous of you and your relationship. Opie says, I highly doubt she's into him. I think the second is more likely. Anyway, I'm honestly not in the right space for more confrontations. So that's something I'm putting off for now.

[00:13:46] But I will confront her eventually. Then Opie mentions one more comment about the dog. And says, he's doing great so far. It's not the first time he's staying in my house. Since I kept him when he went out for more than a day. Which is often. I'm worried about when he realizes that this is not temporary. But nothing wrong so far. He's always liked me a lot. But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story.

[00:14:15] Now, our next story comes from The True Off My Chest. So I read it from Traditional Tale 3068. And says, I'm leaving my boyfriend after he drunkenly confessed something to me last night. My boyfriend and I, both 29, have been together for two years now. Before that, we were both married and got cheated on by our spouses. We were introduced to each other through mutual friends. And thought we'd get along since we went through the same thing.

[00:14:42] I've told everyone us meeting that night was the greatest blessing. Because he came into my life at a very dark point in my life. In the past two years, we have moved to a new town. Started new jobs and bought a house. I travel for work and he works 90 hours a week. So we both have no desire to have kids. I have a brother, 31 male, who's been with a woman since 2020. They were supposed to get married, but called it off in 2022.

[00:15:10] Since then, they've been on and off together and really don't have a great relationship. That was until November when his girlfriend found out she was pregnant. And they decided to get serious. They bought a house and have been going to couples therapy. Their relationship seems to be working out now since they had their baby. They decided to host a 4th of July party at their house. I attended with my boyfriend. I spent most of the night helping with cooking and helping my brother's girlfriend set up and watching my niece. Like every 4th of July party.

[00:15:39] There's people getting way too drunk and starting to act up. Once mostly everyone had left, my boyfriend and me, brother and his girlfriend, and a couple of friends were sitting by the fire and having a few drinks. My boyfriend had a few too many drinks and was starting to act drunk. He started telling random stories and after a few random stories, he says, Brother's girlfriend's name. Remember when we used to hook up last year? My brother's girlfriend looks at him in shock and then starts apologizing to me.

[00:16:08] I just sat there in silence before leaving. Immediately after, I got texts from his girlfriend, my boyfriend, and brother all trying to fix things and saying he didn't mean to tell me. His girlfriend texts me the story and says that they hooked up for a couple of months while I was working in another state and she was broken up with my brother. I haven't replied to anyone's texts, just spent the morning packing all my stuff from the house and leaving with my car and the truck I bought for him.

[00:16:34] I already feel so much happier knowing what he did to me and now that he's gone. Cut International says it's so bizarre that they act like the accidental confession is the biggest issue rather than the hooking up and cheating part. It was Dewey says, I'm sorry, that's so fucked. Especially that even your brother didn't tell you. Have you talked to anyone since? Sirius says, I can't believe all three of them were able to keep this a secret. This is actually insane. I would never speak to these people again.

[00:17:03] They set you up for a lifetime of trust issues. Zaneth says, I'll definitely be mourning the loss of my sibling because I don't see any outcome here in which they wouldn't be dead to me. Zaneth, even if you're drunk, how does those words come out of your mouth when you're reminiscing about stories and that pops into your head and then it just slips out? It's just like absolute bizarre Riles behavior. And like the top comments said, that they're all acting like it's the confession that's the issue

[00:17:31] and not the actual cheating, which is just so bizarre. But OP came into their post four months later and says, wow, looking at my original post, I never expected to blow up like it did. Honestly forgot I made this post until my own story came up on my TikTok. Lol. So here's my update. It took me a bit, but I've gone 100% no contact with my entire family and haven't heard from my ex-boyfriend since July.

[00:17:57] I sold a house, left my job, sold his truck and bought a house in my favorite town closer to my best friends. It was a much needed step to heal and move on with life. I found a great job there and grew closer to all my friends, especially my college best friend, Trey. I found myself vending to him all the time and him always being there if I needed someone. He's been my rock since the move and I'm so extremely grateful for him. I finally made the move.

[00:18:24] I think we've both been scared to make and we're telling our friends tomorrow that we're officially dating. We're going on our first triple date as a friend group tomorrow too. My life is so beautiful now that all the toxic people are gone and I'm in a happy place. Consider this my post reminding you that it's okay to start over. I bet you'll bloom all over again and your life will be 10 times better. And Flynn said to Opie on the back of this one, Congrats. Any idea what the other people are up to? Opie says, Nope.

[00:18:54] I don't keep up with them anymore and have everyone blocked. Now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's have one more story from Monica who says, I, 22 female, have a bracelet that belonged to my ex-boyfriend's 23 male deceased mother. And it's been eight years since we broke up. My first proper relationship took place in high school.

[00:19:22] My boyfriend was 15 and I was 14. My boyfriend's mom had died a few years ago. Presumably in his early teens, but I'd never asked. On one particular memorable evening during the school festival, he gave me a bracelet that he said belonged to his mother. It's nothing fancy, just a bunch of wooden beads strung together, but it looked like it meant a lot to him. I took it in the heat of the moment and I wore it until he graduated and we broke up. The thing is, it wasn't a nice breakup.

[00:19:50] There was a lot of anger and I eventually cut off all contact with him. Now that it's been a while, the fact that I still have this bracelet is starting to weigh on my mind. I know it meant a lot to him, because you can't lie about something like that and he was pretty serious when he gave it to me. I can't imagine he wouldn't like it back, given what it means to him. I don't know if I should track him down online and figure a way to get it back to him. Because on the very slight off chance that he's forgotten about it, I might come across as the deranged and desperate ex

[00:20:19] that's holding a candle to a long dead relationship. What do you guys think I should do? MB says, in my opinion, you should try and track him down and message or email him to ask if he wants it back. He will likely say yes. If you're worried about appearances, then don't compose the message with the emotional load of a deranged and desperate ex. It's simple enough. Hey, I'm 22 female. I don't know if you remember me, but I still have this bracelet and if you'd like it back, please let me know where to ship it. If he takes back and seems interested in talking,

[00:20:49] hey, how have you been, etc, etc. Keep it polite but non-emotional. I'm good, how are you? It's been a long time and he probably won his bracelet and may be curious to catch up and see how you're doing. Like a reunion of sorts. But you can assume the two of you will go your separate ways after this brief encounter or conversation. Opie says, I looked him up on LinkedIn. Is that a good place to contact him? He already knows because he checked my profile too. Kifat says, LinkedIn is the least horny out of the all.

[00:21:18] LinkedIn is the least horny out of all the social networks. So probably a good choice. Viper Legacy says, least horny is a great way to describe it. Unless you're Jimmy from LinkedIn. Violet says, here's a note you can use. Hi, ex-boyfriend's name. I hope you're doing well. I wanted to return this bracelet to you. As I recall, it meant a lot to you because it was your mother's. You were so sweet back then to share it with me. Thank you. Hope you have someone special to give it to now. Kind regards. Mokuna.

[00:21:47] Got the name wrong at the beginning. That's it. Short. Sweet. You don't have to include a return address if you don't want to. If he misinterprets your gesture as an in and tries to ignite a relationship, either ghost him or write back. I wish you the best. Let's leave our relationship in the past. It was lovely at the time and I will always remember it. But I'm moving in different directions now. Thanks again and best of luck to you. Good luck. Returning the bracelet is absolutely the right thing to do. Sometimes you have to be a bit brave to do the right thing. You can do it.

[00:22:16] Hope he says, you're right. I agree with all of you. I'm going to text him. Ben says, I just want to say you're incredibly sweet for not only holding onto it for so long but wanting to give it back to him. If this were an unrealistic romance novel, I'd say now kiss but it's real life. Mature adulthood and true compassion. I know he'll appreciate it. And I think I agree with the comments on this one that, you know, giving it back is the right thing to do if you can. Like the comment said, keeping it informal, just saying, hey, I've still got this bracelet.

[00:22:46] Would you like it back? Because I know it meant a lot to you, et cetera. Simple as that. But, Hope he comes in with an update and said, so I went ahead and did it. I bit the bullet. I text him. It took three agonizing days for him to reply but he did and it couldn't have turned out better. He told me to keep it because he wanted me to have it and that he'd looked me up online before. I didn't have much of a presence online but couldn't find me. And now we're talking and my heart feels much lighter. So thank you all for the advice.

[00:23:16] Thank you. Today's looking up. Peace. SlingsYoghurt says, wow, that's awesome. He told you to still keep it. Thanks for the update. Wishing you luck and a prosperous rest of the year. BrokenFirefly says, I thought it was a sweet thing for him to say and do as well. There's so many just mean people and way more than there should be of people who are either petty, rude or just obnoxious. Very, very awesome. He was so mature about it. Hope he says, I know, right? I definitely didn't expect this. Just don't even worry,

[00:23:45] says your new commission. Protect the bracelet. Hope he says, ha, can't be that hard since I've managed to for nearly a decade. Lee McCatt says, that's a very mature response. He's obviously grown a lot. I'm sure that gives you a little closure. But don't let this make you think he's changed completely if you're considering rekindling things. I'm not considering rekindling with him at all. We broke up for multiple reasons but I'm glad but we are not at all compatible. So glad. Hope he also replies to a similar comment and says,

[00:24:15] absolutely not. He and I are nothing like the people we used to be. And I realize that I'm glad we broke up when we did because we went on to become very different people after our breakup. So, a pretty nice post in the end of things there. I did think, was he going to take it that way of, especially when he was looking at her profile, was he trying to get back in with her, etc. But, it seems like a mature response all the way around. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. That's just a huge thank you

[00:24:44] from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So, thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. Take care.