Fiance Lied About Fluently Speaking Korean For 3 Years r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from understand004 and says,

[00:00:22] My fiancee, 25 male, lied about speaking Korean fluently to me, 24 female, for 3 years. I don't know what to think. I've been with Jimmy for 3 years now. We first met in college and we pretty much instantly hit it off. I'm full Korean while he's half Korean, even though he doesn't look like it at all. I was slightly disappointed when I found out that he didn't speak Korean.

[00:00:49] Pretty much everyone in my family speaks it more than anything, so I thought it would be an issue, but it wasn't. He told me that he didn't know it, but he was studying it, which I thought was a nice gesture. He met my parents for the first time and they speak English, but prefer not to speak it much. My parents complained to me pretty much the entire night and even badmouthed him quite a bit because of his actions and not understanding.

[00:01:15] I didn't know at the time, but I really defended and although most dinners at my parents' house were them being fake nice to him, I tried my best to stick up for him. The first time my parents met his dad and his sister, they spoke very poorly of them. It was downright insulting. His dad had some pretty rude and weird behavior that was frowned upon. I would always talk with my parents on the phone while we lived on campus, often on speakerphone, and Jimmy would just kind of play dumb.

[00:01:43] Even with my friends, many of them were very rude to him after I told them he didn't understand it. He proposed to me at our favorite park three months ago in Korean and I was blown away by it. I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world. I cried for joy and happily accepted. I was so proud of him. Fast forward to last week. One of Jimmy's old-time friends had returned from his assignment overseas and met us for dinner. Really nice and respectable guy.

[00:02:12] And he's talking and just full-blown starts speaking Korean to Jimmy and I'm taken aback. Oh, he doesn't know how much he's still learning. The guy scratches his head and goes, Jimmy is the guy who helped teach me Korean. What are you talking about? And at first, I didn't know what to think. I was relieved and excited that Jimmy actually knew it. But the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. When I confronted him about why he didn't tell me sooner, he said that when his mother passed on his 18th birthday,

[00:02:42] he stopped speaking altogether and just started telling people he didn't understand it. He said that it reminds him of her. Which is understandable, but I don't know if I can accept something like that. When I told my parents my dad was overjoyed, well, my mother had a panicked look on herself as she recalled all the nasty things they said about him and his family in front of them. My dad seemed to brush it off and fully understood Jimmy's reasoning for not speaking it anymore. I don't know if I can be so forgiving.

[00:03:10] I feel like he's been secretly spying on me for the past three years. He lied to me about it. Even my friends. He treated everyone so kindly, even though they all at some point talked bad about him. I don't know if he's noble and romantic or if he's just using it to his advantage. Our relationship is otherwise perfect and it seems like such a silly minor detail to get upset over, but I don't know. Any outside perspective or input? Am I wrong for not letting this go so lightly?

[00:03:38] I think he should have told me way sooner. Yeah, the parents are just bloody rude to him and they should be apologizing. That's an absolute given, but I can't help but feel the same about OP. OP said that they tried to stick up for him, but still brought him around people who were being fake nice to him, were talking crap about him behind his back. That's not exactly filling me with joy, you know? And the fact that Jimmy hasn't held this against you in any way, he's heard everything.

[00:04:07] And obviously not blaming him in any way, but questions that were going through my head is like, why was he sitting there through that as well? Why would he just sit there and listen to them talk about him like that and not saying anything afterwards? There's just little parts of it that feel kind of off to me, if you get what I mean. But Karakat says, your parents and friends were acting rudely. They should apologize to him and hope he's happy to forgive. As for you, you're in a relationship for three years,

[00:04:35] yet never took an interest in how his Korean studies were going, or tried to have a conversation with him to practice what he's learned. OP says, not really. I would say little phrases here and there, he would respond according to the most part. I never actually sat down with him because I mean, everyone says they'll learn a language someday. I don't think he would actually stick with it. He always studied on his own time. Another kitty says, I can understand being upset about being lied to.

[00:05:03] But I think what you're feeling is probably a lot of embarrassment about how your parents and friends acted. Sometimes people who are biracial are used to not being accepted by one or both sides of their cultures. No matter what he does, to some people, Jimmy will never be Korean enough, even though that's part of who he is. You need to understand this, because if you have kids and they look a little like him, they might be treated like Jimmy one day too. Don't you wonder how your boyfriend was able to sit through all that abuse and not say anything?

[00:05:33] And why he would still be with you after all that? If anything, he has a right to be mad and judge you for having these kind of people in your life. But maybe, he's a calm enough person to know that when people say bad things about you, it shows you more about their character than yours. Or maybe, sadly, he has seen this kind of negative and judgmental behavior before from other relatives. I suspect this might be the case. He is used to people judging him because they've judged all his life, and he has learned to brush it off.

[00:06:02] Like I said, I do understand feeling upset that he wasn't completely honest with you. You want to be in a relationship with someone who is able to trust you, and three years is a long time. However, I can understand where he's coming from too. Talk it over. See if you can use this to come to a deeper understanding of each other. Maybe you can use this to become a stronger person who can stand up to your relatives and friends more. Or be a better example at least. And maybe you can have a better understanding of his heart and character.

[00:06:32] This may put distance between you, but you can also choose to let it draw you closer. Opie says, I'll admit, a lot of my feeling is embarrassment after that dinner when we got back to our apartment. I looked him in the eyes and cried like a little baby. I didn't know what to say or do, and the only thing in my mind was how shitty my friends and family were to him, and how we would face them over and over again willingly. You make good points, and I do think I'm being selfish trying to make this about me, but it should be about him or us.

[00:07:01] I want to see it in a positive way and use it to bring us closer. I guess I'm just like my parents when I say I have this small doubt in the back of my mind, preventing me from doing so wholeheartedly. So Opie did come in with her update and says, first, I want to say that I admit I was totally wrong for trying to make this about me, and I realized my parents and friends, as well as myself, were all horrible people which I agree with. I spoke with Jimmy same day I posted the thread.

[00:07:29] I actually invited him over to my parents' place for dinner, but before that, I stopped by his parents' house to apologize to him, his dad, and his younger sister for everything, because I felt so embarrassed and horrible. I apologized profusely to his dad, who did nothing but laugh. His dad was beyond understanding, and actually spoke Korean quite well himself. He actually laughed, saying that he understands why my parents were the way they are. He even told me about the story of when he first met Jimmy's mom's parents in Korea,

[00:07:58] and how much she warned him about their behavior. He said that she explained it to him, and he understood and was able to respect where their concerns were coming from, in terms of wanting to preserve their language or their heritage. He told me it started off rocky, but they shut up so fast when he surprised them and spoke it fluently. He said his relationship with her parents is now stronger than ever, especially since she passed away, and he calls them twice a week just to chat. He said that when he heard that I stuck up for Jimmy, he was proud of me,

[00:08:27] even though he never said anything. Jimmy's sister, she's only 12, but is super sweet and mature for her age. She said that when Jimmy started dating me was the day he started teaching and talking to her in Korean again. It was really precious the way she described it. His dad teaches and talks to her as well, but she really likes when Jimmy does it. As for Jimmy and I, we've been working together to resolve our communication issues, and we've spent a lot of time talking about us. I admitted all my concerns,

[00:08:57] and he addressed them one by one, and told me exactly what I needed to hear. He apologized for keeping it from me for so long, and told me that he didn't do it maliciously. He just didn't want to associate Korean with the negativity that my parents and friends bought, which I find extremely understandable. He said he regarded the language as something pure that him and his mother often shared together, that he didn't want to engage in with my parents and friends. He admitted that it probably sounded silly,

[00:09:26] but I understood him on an emotional level. He told me how close him and his mom were. We'd never talked this in depth about it before, and I cried like a little baby, because I could tell how much he loved and missed her. He told me that she always teased and warned him about the complications of marrying a full-blood Korean while he was a teenager, and he didn't truly understand until he met my parents and friends. I even found out that Jimmy was born and lived in Korea for 12 years.

[00:09:53] I feel like our relationship is stronger than ever. My doubts and worries are gone, and we're going to be a lot more open with one another. I'm ashamed I ever tried to doubt him. He's been speaking Korean to me a lot more exclusively since I've apologized to him. Most probably won't understand, but he took me to see his mother's grave, and it was probably one of the most touching moments I've ever had with him. I was kneeling beside him listening as he told her about me. Basically, how he knew he had found the person he would make new memories with,

[00:10:23] and how he'd have to go back on a promise. I don't think I've cried so much in my life. I couldn't even stop. We had dinner with my parents on Tuesday, and Jimmy spoke to them in Korean for the first time, and my parents apologized for their tongue. I think I didn't make it as clear as I should in my original post, but after I defended him, they cut back significantly. Jimmy apologized for their years of disappointment teasing them for their original concerns. He told them a little about his mom, and when he told them his mother's maiden name,

[00:10:53] my father's eyes lit up. He didn't really go into detail, but he thinks he might have known her family. It made him extremely chatty and open. I've never seen my father so excited to talk to someone before in my life. Jimmy also brought up that his family are planning a trip to Korea this summer, and he offered to pay for all of us to come with them. My parents haven't been back in years, and they happily accepted his offer. Jimmy is wonderful, really. I'm lucky to have him, and I'll never let him go.

[00:11:23] Thanks for the advice. An edit. Jimmy's apology to my parents for years of disappointment was in a joking manner, not something sincere. It was meant as a joke, and everyone laughed about it. Sort of like breaking ice, or easing the tension in the room. One of the top commenters on the update said, this is all fine and good, but still your parents and friends who talk shit are pretty bad. Luckily, your fiance is actually Korean enough, and we don't need to belittle him to his face. Opie says,

[00:11:51] my parents and friends are very bad for talking shit in Korean, when they thought he couldn't understand. I realized the magnitude of their actions, and I've even told Jimmy that if he wanted us, or just himself, to go low contact with them, then I would totally support and understand. I think my first post exaggerated the number of times they did, and after I defended him the first time, they cut back significantly. If Jimmy is willing and able to forgive them, then I'm just going to leave it at that. No point in me forcing an issue that he doesn't seem concerned over.

[00:12:22] He's a much better person than myself for sure, because I would hold it against them. But Jimmy values family bonds quite highly, and he wants to have a relationship with my parents, and he wants me to keep a good relationship with them as well. As for my friends, I'll be cutting many of them out of my life. Donnie says, I'm sorry, but I have to ask, how is Jimmy so forgiving of your parents? It seems like they were being downright shitbags to him for absolutely no reason. Is that the custom or something? Don't speak our language, but just talk shit behind your back.

[00:12:52] Opie replied, but quoting a section from someone saying, I'm surprised Jimmy could forgive your parents, but he's a better man than I am. I'm just a little upset at my own culture's exclusivity, superiority complex. It's just so annoying at times. And continue saying, I feel the same way. And honestly, Jimmy is one of a kind. I feel in terms of forgiveness. But after talking to him about his mom and family, I realized that he regards family very highly and doesn't believe in cutting ties over insulting behavior. He told me that his grandparents are guilty

[00:13:21] of this superiority exclusivity complex that my parents seem to have had. All I can say is that we'll try our best to break this cycle, at least with our direct families. And I'll teach my future kids the importance of respect regardless of appearance or race or tongue. And one more comment about this post from Chippy Chopper who says, people thinking Jimmy lost out here. No. From an East Asian cultural perspective, it sounds like he had a flawless victory.

[00:13:49] The fact that the Korean parents apologized to him and ultimately lost faith for being caught out bitching. The fact that he is so gracious and offering to bring them to Korea with his family. That just rubs it in even more because they know that his father then also knew what they said. So there will be this unspoken shame still resting on them the whole time. It's actually perfect. And there was a few comments like that. The old kill him with kindness kind of thing and, you know, shaming them. And they're always going to feel this way

[00:14:19] for what they've done. Because obviously, as always, I'm on the outside. I'm reading a very small part of someone's story. I don't know the intricacies of that family. But to me, like, I was with some of those other comments. I was like, damn, Jimmy's more forgiving than most people there. You know, those parents should feel very lucky that he is forgiving. Because if I heard that someone was talking shit about my behind my back like that, I wouldn't be able to look at that person the same way again. And it's as simple as that, really.

[00:14:49] And I wouldn't particularly want to be around that person. How would you feel? Would you be like, Jimmy, let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. And our next story comes from the Petty Revenge subreddit. It's from Sightrans Dude who says, steal my table, enjoy paying my bill. So many years ago, I was at a popular bar in my home city during a Saturday afternoon.

[00:15:18] I was sitting at a bench table on my own, enjoying my beer and burger alone and enjoying myself. Now it gets fairly busy and sharing tables isn't uncommon. A guy and his two mates asked to sit with me while they wait for another table. As it's a sports bar, I was chilled. He and his mates sat down and I thought that was that. Next thing I know, the other table leaves and instead of the three of them moving to their table, 10 of his friends arrive. He asks me to leave. I said no as I was there

[00:15:47] to watch an international rugby game. So now I'm squashed at this table. Let's call this table 21 going forward. So I didn't move and the guys kept on getting more drunk and ordered food, etc. I walked to the bar to get myself a drink and the barman says, which table? I said table 21. Every time a waiter ordered for them, I'd grab the waiter and say, did you get the XYZ drink or the ABC steak? Which they added on, thinking it was for the table, but actually for me.

[00:16:17] The game and festivities went on for seven hours. I ordered seven drinks, three starters and had an extra main. For the sake of comparison, I only paid $20. The stuff I ordered was $50 on top of what I paid. Eventually, go get my bill, my table's bill, original table, and sold my first drink and burger on it. I pay it and go home. TLDR, steal my table, I'll make you pay for it. Table pirates, man.

[00:16:46] I've seen that kind of shenanigans before. Once I ordered a boxing match at home and I was watching it and it got cut off and luckily I lived just across the road from a pub, so I thought quick, I'll be double quick, run across the pub, watch the boxing, have a beer, come home. So I went across the pub and it was fairly busy Friday night but I managed to bag this little table with three seats around it. I sat at this table, a couple of guys came over, much like this situation, asked if they could sit down as well. I was like, yeah, I'm just sat here by myself as long as you don't mind me sitting here. It was absolutely cool with it.

[00:17:16] They sat right there, turned the chairs around and was watching the TV exactly the same as me. All very chill and then all their friends started gathering around so much so, you know, that I couldn't see because there was a crowd of people around them. I tapped a guy to my left and said, come on man, this ain't really on is it? They're sort of blocking my view and you've invited them all around here and he went, yeah, but what can I do? Well, anyway, they was in and out having cigarettes as the boxing was going on in between rounds and all this sort of stuff. So whilst they was all out on their cigarette,

[00:17:46] one of their cigarette breaks during a round, I saw a couple of the old locals from the pub which I do know and one of them used to live in the area that I lived in when I was younger but he was one of the older generation. I said, come and sit in these seats for a second, will you? And they was looking for a seat anyway so it was perfect. He invited his mate along, took over those seats, they all came back in about five minutes later and they all just stood at the bar. They didn't say a bloody bean. Obviously, I didn't make much eye contact with them after that but I was sort of silently chuckling to myself in an evil way.

[00:18:17] Yeah, a bit like that actually. And I like investigating other subreddits once in a while and seeing as we're in the Petty Revenge subreddit, I saw a fart-based story so I'm going to warn you now, I don't know the contents of the story as yet but if you're eating, you might want to just turn off the video podcast right now because, you know, we're talking farts here. But this is from Human Meat Product from the Petty Revenge subreddit titled My Alcoholic Roommate

[00:18:46] Never Cleans So I Fart in Her Room So, I'm currently living with an alcoholic roommate and she never cleans any common areas of the house. The only chore she does are dishes. I have to rewash all of them anyway because there's always still crusted food on everything and taking out the trash when it gets to the point of overflowing. She leaves empty toilet rolls and tampons on the floor of the bathroom. She is drunkenly tipped over glasses on the living room floor

[00:19:16] not noticed and just left them there overnight on multiple occasions. One night she was drunk slash sleepwalking mistook my room for the bathroom and I awoke from a dead sleep at 2am to her pissing on my carpet. After doing that she gave a half-arse sorry helped clean it for maybe two minutes before going back to bed. Yes, I had to scrub my carpet clean of this other girl's piss at 3am and on top of that had to go through the trouble of renting a carpet shampoo to get it the rest of the way

[00:19:46] clean. She has had her boyfriend over almost every night and I'm 99% sure it's because she's avoiding a confrontation with me about her lack of contribution around the house. I get one day off a week and since I'm the only one cleaning I usually have to use this day to catch up on chores. So I deep clean the house make everything smell real nice light a few candles open the windows Clorox in the drains that works. I then make myself protein cookie dough

[00:20:16] which is a great recovery after a long day of cleaning but the downside of this dish is that it gives me nostril burning gas. I legitimately turn into a biohazardous leaky balloon when I eat this stuff. After consuming the dubious concoction I deposit all my farts into her room. I shut the door immediately after each one to ensure it gets hot boxed with its rancidity. I take great satisfaction in knowing she opens the door to a lovely

[00:20:45] warm cloud of pumpkin spice candles and a spotless house only to go in her room and be assaulted by my farts. I know I'm a horrible person. Is that going to make me stop? Probably not. One of my bros used to hot box my bedroom but the problem was is that you could literally seal the door open and their ass come through the crack and then fart and then shut it. It was a it was a it was a time the old 2010 biohazard wars what a time anyway

[00:21:16] what do you guys make of this situation? The comments below that one holy moly what protein does to people man anyway what do you guys make of this situation? As always would love to know your comments down below and just a huge thank you for being here getting involved in the stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one

[00:21:45] take care and much love you