Fiance Left Me At The Altar After His Ex Gave Him Some News r/Relationship

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[00:00:52] guys. Now, today's first story comes from Red Oat 12 from The Advice subreddit and says

[00:00:58] my fiancé left me at the altar. Yesterday was supposed to be one of the most happiest days of

[00:01:04] my life and it turned out to be the worst. My fiancé never showed up to the ceremony, leaving me

[00:01:11] at the altar. His friends and family tried to get a hold of him but all calls went straight

[00:01:16] to voicemail. After waiting an hour for him, I told my guest that there wasn't going to be a

[00:01:22] wedding. I opened the reception hall and told them to enjoy the food in open bar, even if

[00:01:27] there was no ceremony. I still wanted them to have a good time and enjoy the food and drinks.

[00:01:33] I tried to call him a couple of times but after three more failed calls,

[00:01:37] I just stopped and told everyone else who was trying to get a hold of him to stop.

[00:01:42] He made it clear he didn't want anyone to get a hold of him and I wasn't going to have them

[00:01:46] waste their time. I didn't cry. I wasn't going to cry. At least not in front of everyone.

[00:01:54] His mother came to me and apologized through tears. She told me how disappointed she was in him and

[00:02:00] that she was so sorry. I just shook my head and stuck with her the entire time. I didn't want

[00:02:06] her to cry and feel bad for something that wasn't her fault. The real MVPs were all my friends.

[00:02:13] They did their absolute best to keep things from being awkward and entertained everyone.

[00:02:19] They played music, danced and one of them went as far as going back home to bring a projector

[00:02:25] and a game system for all the kids and teens to play against each other with.

[00:02:29] I was glad that the day was somewhat saved but I still felt horrible.

[00:02:34] I would be brother-in-law Ethan kept me from getting shit-faced when I really wanted to.

[00:02:39] Told me it would be awkward if I did so I did my best to keep everyone happy.

[00:02:44] After 11, I told everyone who bought gifts to take them back and get their money back.

[00:02:50] A few of them refused and had me keep the gifts they got.

[00:02:54] So now I'm back at the hotel we got and I'm alone.

[00:02:57] This morning I got a couple of missed calls from my fiancé and several messages that I

[00:03:01] haven't opened yet. I'm so angry at him. He humiliated me yesterday by not showing up

[00:03:08] when he could have told me he was getting cold feet. I had my friend message him

[00:03:12] that I want to be left alone and if he showed up to the hotel room I was going to call my brothers to

[00:03:17] have him removed. So far he hasn't shown up but I'm getting phone calls from his friends,

[00:03:22] probably all wanting to speak to him. I don't know if it's me being shallow or not but

[00:03:27] I'm rethinking our entire relationship and whether or not I see a future with him.

[00:03:33] So another issue is that I have an extra plane ticket. It was supposed to be for our

[00:03:37] honeymoon but since the fiancé isn't here I decided to enjoy my little getaway vacation for myself.

[00:03:44] A couple of friends are coming with me but not for another week since they got to get childcare,

[00:03:49] put vacation time etc so they can't come since it is last second. To be honest I want to invite

[00:03:55] Ethan because I've never travelled anywhere in my life. I know he's been to where I'm going

[00:04:00] and I want him to come so he can be there to show us the places to be at. Ethan told

[00:04:06] me he'd go for me but should I invite him? I asked Ethan's mum and she was all for it

[00:04:12] but I still don't know if it caused drama. Any advice?

[00:04:16] So there was some chat in the comments below. Some people were showing concern maybe something

[00:04:22] happened to the fiancé that's why he didn't turn up and hope he says my made of honour checked

[00:04:28] if there were any accidents in the area when he didn't show up. So far nothing but I'm sure

[00:04:33] his parents would have gone and hold me if he was in an accident and so far no. If it was an emergency

[00:04:39] I'm sure his family would have gone and hold me. He sent me messages but I haven't read them yet.

[00:04:44] I'm going to wait until I'm out of state to read them. And then a comment which was down

[00:04:50] voted but they said seems like Ethan genuinely cares about you which is the brother. Stop

[00:04:55] you from drinking your hurt etc. And to be honest who cares if it causes drama?

[00:05:01] He left you at the altar. His brother looked after you. Take the brother and if something

[00:05:05] happens then maybe it was meant to be. Don't force anything though because then it will be forever

[00:05:10] awkward. OP responded saying yeah Ethan is a good guy and I doubt anything would happen between us.

[00:05:17] I've seen his ex-girlfriends and I'm nowhere near his type. We definitely keep each other's

[00:05:21] backs. And then there was a lot of comments you know basically saying don't invite Ethan and

[00:05:26] OP responded saying okay so don't invite Ethan. Got it. Maybe I can ask Ethan's sister.

[00:05:32] I really don't know anything about traveling so I kind of want to ask someone who has a clue.

[00:05:38] Lucy shoes says to OP saying you need to talk to your fiance. You did a shitty horrendous thing

[00:05:43] but you still need to talk this through. Hiding from him is not going to help either of you.

[00:05:49] Have the tough conversation and make your decisions. Don't take his brother on your

[00:05:52] honeymoon for fuck's sake. This isn't time for revenge your stupid decisions. This is your life.

[00:05:59] Talk this through like adults. Take the trip or get a refund or whatever but you have to talk to him.

[00:06:05] You're going to spend the rest of your life with him. You owe it to yourself to at least speak

[00:06:09] to him and get closure. OP says I'm most likely not going to take Ethan. I'm not trying to

[00:06:15] take revenge or anything. I just don't know anything about traveling. I've never even been

[00:06:19] on a plane and I know Ethan has traveled before. I will eventually talk to him after the honeymoon

[00:06:25] but right now no. Not after he embarrassed me in front of all of our families and friends.

[00:06:30] A deleted user leaves a pretty lengthy comment. They said OP this is the moment where you figure

[00:06:36] out who you are outside your relationship. Your fiance left you at the altar. This isn't

[00:06:41] a relationship to consider. It was over the moment he stood you up. Ethan is your ex's

[00:06:47] brother. I don't know why he stopped you from drinking. You should have done what the fuck you

[00:06:51] want. Ethan isn't going to be in your life anymore. Him and his family aren't going to disown their

[00:06:56] brother and son for his ex. Now traveling alone is the best thing in the world. It's scary

[00:07:02] at first but once you get past that that's where the magic happens. Getting used to being

[00:07:07] alone. Getting comfortable with being alone. Falling in love with your own company. That

[00:07:13] moment when you wake up and think what do I want to do today? Maybe you don't have the answer.

[00:07:19] Maybe you realise it's the first time you've ever had the choice to do things purely for you.

[00:07:24] Not a friend or partners or family suggestion. Not you predicting what someone else would like

[00:07:30] to do. You figuring yourself out. You learn about your own company. You'd been preparing

[00:07:36] for a marriage, a life with someone else. Now you're single. Use this trip as the

[00:07:41] first step in your new life where you put yourself first. Use this trip to cry and grieve for as long

[00:07:46] as you want. Use this trip as a chance to realise how strong you are. You're on this trip alone so

[00:07:53] when you return you don't feel scared and suddenly live in life alone when you expect it to be

[00:07:57] married. If you know that you can holiday alone then you know you can do anything including

[00:08:03] surviving this breakup. When you return book an appointment with a therapist. It's worrying that

[00:08:08] after your ex left you at the altar you still thought there was a relationship to consider.

[00:08:13] And you've seen very dependent on what others think of you. Like allowing Ethan to police

[00:08:17] your drinking when you wanted to get shit faced and you were entitled to do that. Your ex-in-laws

[00:08:22] weren't thinking about you when they wanted you to stay dignified. It looks less bad for them

[00:08:28] if you never look publicly heartbroken. I hope you responded out saying this actually helped

[00:08:34] me. I used to tell everyone that I was independent but now you've made me realise that

[00:08:37] maybe I'm not as independent as I think I am. You're right, maybe this trip should be a trip

[00:08:43] to take alone. I didn't even think about that last part. I think maybe you are right.

[00:08:49] I probably would have embarrassed them if I did. I don't know now. If Gabby can't make it then

[00:08:54] I think I'll do what one person told me to do and switch my tickets for first class.

[00:08:59] If I can't then I'll just take that loss. Opie was getting lots of different tips about

[00:09:06] what to do on their travels and Opie said like honestly thank you. I needed to know that at least

[00:09:12] someone to tell me what to expect. I've never been to an airport before and I really mean it when

[00:09:17] I say I have no idea what to do. As lame as it sounds I'm going to screenshot this. This

[00:09:22] is the info I want. From the bottom of my heart thank you. I now feel so much better.

[00:09:28] And one more comment with reply. Someone says to OP I mean he left you at the altar.

[00:09:33] I don't think you're the only one rethinking the relationship but after that I'll be pretty

[00:09:37] certain it was done. Take the trip without your ex fiance's family and start your life over because

[00:09:44] I don't know how one comes back from that. Opie says oh man I didn't even think of it that way.

[00:09:50] So this means I gotta put on big girl underwear and figure it out myself.

[00:09:54] I asked my brother's wife to come with me. She said if she can get someone to watch my nephew for

[00:09:59] a week tomorrow she'll come. I'm probably gonna beg my mom to watch him. It's a three week trip.

[00:10:05] I just want company so that I won't be alone for a week. And there was a lot of people telling

[00:10:11] Opie you know travel alone, door this kind of stuff, discover yourself and I get where Opie's

[00:10:16] coming from about you know being a bit nervous. I'm not sure about all their life

[00:10:20] experience that they have but like Opie I didn't go to an airport until I was a bit older and it

[00:10:26] can be a scary place especially if you haven't got any clue about what's going on. The boards with

[00:10:33] the numbers and navigating an airport especially big airports. People everywhere security checks.

[00:10:42] You can only take X amount of liquid on board and all this kind of stuff going on.

[00:10:47] So I can understand Opie wanting some company. I get what people are saying about discovering

[00:10:52] yourself etc but I agree with Opie that you know some company might be good. Do I think

[00:10:58] taking Ethan is the right thing to do? I don't think that's a good idea. But taking a friend

[00:11:02] for a bit of company I totally get that. But if she does decide to do it for herself

[00:11:06] more power to her as well. But Opie comes in with their update and says okay so I feel

[00:11:11] like I should explain more about Ethan. First I'm not going to take him. Second I've known Ethan a

[00:11:18] little longer than my ex fiancee. Please believe me when I say he's a close friend of mine. Both

[00:11:24] of us bonded by teasing his brother and with that we just kind of clicked and became fast friends.

[00:11:30] I wanted to take him because I didn't know how to use my ticket in the airport.

[00:11:34] I've never been travelling and I didn't want to look dumb by trying to figure it out.

[00:11:39] Thankfully someone said what to do and I'm forever grateful so now I feel much more confident.

[00:11:44] I know it sounded iffy trying to take Ethan but honestly it was for something innocent.

[00:11:49] I see him more of a brother than anything. Now that I look at all the comments you guys left.

[00:11:55] And finally I read my ex fiancee's messages. Yes he's alive. He wasn't in any terrible

[00:12:00] accident and the reason he never showed up was because he found out he has a kid. His

[00:12:06] childhood sweetheart came by with a kid maybe a couple of weeks ago. His best man knew and never

[00:12:11] told me because my ex didn't want him to tell me he was 100% sure and I guess he found out today.

[00:12:19] He apologized so many times for not showing up but he couldn't because he felt so guilty

[00:12:25] of what? I don't know. He said a large part of him wants to make things right and take care

[00:12:30] of his son because he always wanted a family. So screw the last three years right? I don't know if

[00:12:36] that means he's going to go back to his ex because he wants to talk over the phone. Honestly

[00:12:42] I'm done. I think it's an excuse to get back with his ex. I don't believe he's ever gotten over

[00:12:47] her and her over him which is why she chose now to show herself. He sent a picture of the kid

[00:12:53] to me and I went over ex fiancee's mum's facebook to see any pictures she posted of

[00:12:58] ex fiancee when he was a kid. They're low quality but there is definitely a resemblance.

[00:13:04] It feels so surreal to me like this is one big joke. I feel like I'm missing more info like

[00:13:10] there's something else going on but I'll find out later. I haven't responded so instead

[00:13:16] I'm just going to open a bottle of wine and just get plastered. My best friend is currently

[00:13:21] on her way with takeout and ice cream so I thought I'd share this. Maybe after my

[00:13:26] much needed vacation I'll do another update but right now I'm just gonna do me. Until then

[00:13:33] fuck you Ben. Fuck you indeed. And part of me was thinking whilst reading that is why did the ex

[00:13:41] wait? Is it just because she wants to get back together with him? Is it the same for him?

[00:13:45] He wants to get back together with his ex. It certainly felt that way to me because

[00:13:50] leaving someone at the altar like that is just incredibly cruel. And that was OP's last

[00:13:57] update on the matter but I really hope that they did go and enjoy that trip and just live their

[00:14:03] best life because there is no alternative to this and I hope that they just have a good time.

[00:14:08] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments

[00:14:14] below. Let's move on to another story.

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[00:15:17] And our next read does come with an update as well from alternative Corgi301 and says

[00:15:23] an IV arsehole for ruining a baby name. I'm Brazilian but I've been living in the US for

[00:15:29] three years. My first language is Brazilian Portuguese. I have a four year old son and

[00:15:35] pregnant with a girl due in May. My son is friends with a girl whose mother, I'll call her Becca,

[00:15:41] is also pregnant. She's due a couple of weeks before me and is also expecting a third girl.

[00:15:48] Since we take our kids on play dates almost weekly, we frequently talk about our pregnancies.

[00:15:53] Becca is into unique names not UNIQUE or TRAGIDASE but names that she and her husband

[00:16:01] create. It's not my style but she managed to come up with genuinely nice names for both

[00:16:06] her older daughters so there was never really a reason for me to say anything.

[00:16:10] This time Becca and her husband had a lot of trouble coming up with a new name. She first

[00:16:15] brought this up last December. For months they'd tried to create something that sounded good

[00:16:20] with no success. We took our kids on a play date at a park this weekend. When we sat down

[00:16:25] for a snack Becca excitedly told me they'd finally settled on a name. I was really happy for

[00:16:31] Aaron asked what they had chosen. Narina. For those who don't know that's Portuguese for Nostril.

[00:16:39] I managed to control myself and told her it sounded lovely but my son let out a giggle.

[00:16:45] My husband and I are raising him bilingual so he speaks Portuguese

[00:16:49] and Becca wanted to know why. I tried to brush it off but she kept insisting.

[00:16:54] Eventually I told her that while Narina could be a lovely name it was also the Portuguese word

[00:16:59] for Nostril. Becca seemed really sad to hear that. She said she'd think of something else but

[00:17:05] had fallen in love with Narina. After we went home Becca's husband called me. He was furious at

[00:17:12] me for ruining the only name they had agreed on. Apparently he had a fight with Becca because

[00:17:16] she told him she wanted to think of something else. He argued that never visit Brazil anyway so

[00:17:22] they shouldn't have to change the name but Becca refused to use Narina. My husband agrees that their

[00:17:28] fight is not my fault but thinks I didn't need to tell Becca anything since Americans are

[00:17:33] unlikely to know what Narina means. And I, the arsehole. Edit. This was not my son's fault.

[00:17:42] He's four years old and had an honest reaction to hearing a baby would essentially be named Nostril.

[00:17:47] I get that some people might think I was the arsehole but don't blame my child for this.

[00:17:54] Edit too. Okay a lot of people are misreading Narina as Narnia. No real comment on that but

[00:18:01] the Chronicles of Nostril has a nice ring to it and then they said they've added an update.

[00:18:07] Now for me in these situations with names I'm always like a not the arsehole and in this

[00:18:13] particular situation you was back into a corner basically where she kept insisting to know what your

[00:18:18] son was laughing at and you told her. For me if I ever was in that situation where I was naming a

[00:18:24] child and I picked a certain name without googling for some reason I'd like to know the information

[00:18:29] I'd like to be able to make a choice with the information around me so even if OP told them

[00:18:34] straight out once they found out about the name saying oh I just wanted to let you know

[00:18:38] that in Portuguese it means this just so you know not trying to upset you or anything like that

[00:18:43] you know I see no problem with that either and it means different things in different languages

[00:18:49] so Portuguese it says Nostril I googled and on a website called Mum Junction it says it means

[00:18:56] fresh or pomegranate flower and its origin is Persian there's an African bird called an

[00:19:03] arena trogan I pronounced that right and I typed an arena into google and clicked images and there's

[00:19:10] loads of people called it as well I don't think there's anything wrong with giving the people

[00:19:15] the information and then they can do what they want with it you know you're not purposely trying to

[00:19:19] hurt them and I just find it bizarre behavior from the husband to call you up furious because

[00:19:26] you ruined the name you didn't ruin the name you just gave them some information

[00:19:31] but test monkey alpha says not the arsehole I'm shocked they didn't bother googling their name

[00:19:36] ideas as they came up with them I see an arena as nostril on the first page of search results

[00:19:42] OP says I don't think they ever do apparently the eldest daughter's name also means something

[00:19:47] in a different language though a much cuter word and they had no idea until someone who spoke it

[00:19:52] told them didn't tell this says not the arsehole it's not ruined and not even portuguese and for

[00:19:59] fuck's sake they could always change the spelling if the panties are this twisted

[00:20:04] norena spout NER I N A norena spout NIR I N A or norena spout NAR I N A A and then says don't

[00:20:14] tell me what awful things those mean okay expression also googled it and says none

[00:20:20] here is a type of bird and it means fresh pomegranate flower as a persian name not the arsehole but

[00:20:26] they way overreacted many names and words mean something different in another language at least

[00:20:33] the word is innocuous a name bill sounds like bill in dutch sounds like bill b i l in dutch

[00:20:41] which means buttock do you think people do you think people are going to stop using bill

[00:20:47] as a name william has to be one of the most common names in existence

[00:20:52] tod tod is the german word for death she needs to chill and just use the name she likes

[00:20:59] and ricketer bug says and i looked and behold a pale horse and his name that sat upon him

[00:21:07] was tod not quite pronounced that way in german though it sounds more like could could

[00:21:15] something like that i'm trying i'm listening to google at the same time here but op comes in

[00:21:19] with her update says hey reddit thank you all for your feedback and advice on my original post

[00:21:24] first of all i want to clarify that i never told becker not to name her daughter norena

[00:21:29] i just told her what it meant in portuguese and only because my son laughed again this wasn't

[00:21:34] his fault it was my translation that made her change the name but that was still her decision

[00:21:40] i got a dm about how i shouldn't have involved my native language into becker's choice for her

[00:21:46] daughter's name which was also not the case i found no joy in telling becker what it meant

[00:21:53] there are plenty of normal names in english language i can ruin with portuguese i've actually

[00:21:58] been listening to some since my first post but i wouldn't translate them without being asked to

[00:22:03] many of you came forward saying that norena was also a flower a finished word for a creaking

[00:22:09] sound and an actual persian name i didn't know any of that but it was interesting to find out

[00:22:15] i listed most of the meanings you guys gave me with the intention of showing them to becker

[00:22:20] i also got plenty of comments suggesting similar names marina nara norena noreen etc and i wrote

[00:22:28] down some of them as well becker and i met for another play date with the kids and i showed

[00:22:32] her my list i also emphasized that she could still use the name norena if she wanted to

[00:22:38] at first she politely turned everything down including the last part while becker said she

[00:22:43] did like some of the names i told her about a method consists solely of creating new names

[00:22:48] with her husband apparently they got to norena by mixing and matching syllables until they had

[00:22:54] something that sounded nice and finding out the name they'd created for their daughter

[00:22:58] also meant nostril was enough for her to lose interest in it becker did love the name

[00:23:04] norena though n e r i n a she didn't admit it until we're about to go our separate ways but

[00:23:10] she said she'd mention it to her husband and speaker the devil her husband as far as i know

[00:23:16] is still pissed at me he didn't try to contact me again but becker said he rolled his eyes when

[00:23:21] she mentioned the upcoming play date apparently he's the one who came up with the order of

[00:23:26] the syllables that resulted in narina and was upset i had ruined it i told becker i didn't

[00:23:32] want to hear from her husband again she agreed his phone call was extremely inappropriate and promised

[00:23:38] to tell him not to contact me any further look i'm not gonna lie i'm really fucking glad they're not

[00:23:44] naming their kid nostril i'm also really proud of myself for holding in my laughter when i first

[00:23:49] heard that but i know becker is a great mother who is perfectly capable of naming her children

[00:23:55] so i know her daughter's name will be beautiful i think that's all becker's baby might be

[00:24:00] named narina spelt n e r i n a that will depend on nostril senior though also for justice's sake

[00:24:10] my daughter will be named luciana feel free to translate it but seriously thank you guys

[00:24:17] nostril senior hopey you cheeky so and so now what do you guys make of this situation

[00:24:27] do you have a different opinion on the matter would you be offended by that if someone told

[00:24:32] you that let us know your thoughts down in the comments below as always truly do appreciate them

[00:24:38] and just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:24:42] your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much

[00:24:48] for being involved your support is absolutely incredible i always appreciate it i always

[00:24:53] sit here every day and think all these people from different countries are listening in and i find

[00:24:58] i'm just it blows my mind honestly thank you so much and hopefully i will see you in the next one

[00:25:05] take care and much love

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