Fiance Is Angry I Put My Sisters Health Over His Family r/Relationships

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[00:01:34] Getting Engaged His brother lives 250 miles away and couldn't

[00:01:39] get here for that meal so we decided to have a meal just for his family in late June when his

[00:01:44] brother would be back for the weekend. This weekend was arranged long before we got engaged so he

[00:01:50] wasn't back just for the meal. Earlier this year my sister Kim, 32F, got a serious eye infection

[00:01:57] that very quickly turned into an ulcer which scarred her cornea and left it at high risk of

[00:02:03] perforation. She needed a corneal graft but her surgeon was away for 4 weeks so she was going to

[00:02:10] have to wait until he got back to have it. However, her eye didn't hold and it perforated the day I

[00:02:15] was supposed to be going to the family meal with our brother. Kim's wife was at work and had her

[00:02:20] phone turned off and our mom was away with our stepdad. So when Kim called me to let me know what

[00:02:26] was happening I knew she would be at the hospital on her own. I immediately talked to my boss and

[00:02:31] he let me go early so Kim wasn't on her own. I text Rob to let him know what was going on and

[00:02:36] he texts me back to send Kim his love and to remind me about the meal that night. I ignored

[00:02:41] the comment about the meal as it was the last thing on my mind. Once I got to the hospital I

[00:02:47] was taken back into a room where Kim was to be greeted by 3 doctors and 2 nurses rushing around

[00:02:53] trying to help Kim. I was then informed that she needed to have an emergency operation to have her

[00:02:58] eye glued or else she would lose it. The problem was that they didn't have a surgeon at the hospital

[00:03:04] that could do it and she needed to go to another hospital an hour and a half away. They asked if

[00:03:10] she would need transportation or if I could take her. I said I would take her. Once we got to the

[00:03:16] other hospital we were told that she'd be having the operation at 5.30pm. I knew then that I wouldn't

[00:03:23] make the dinner and text Rob to let him know. He flipped out and basically told me to leave Kim at

[00:03:29] the hospital and have her wife pick her up after the op was done. At this point I still hadn't been

[00:03:35] able to get a hold of Kim's wife. I told him that wasn't going to happen and that he was out of order

[00:03:41] to even ask me to do that. I then text his mom and told her what was going on. She was really supportive

[00:03:47] and told me to stay with Kim and let her know how the op goes. A dinner can be rescheduled,

[00:03:53] Kim's health can't. I also spoke with his brother who was equally as understanding. I stayed with

[00:03:59] Kim. Her operation was a success and I got her back home at about 9pm. Her wife had ordered

[00:04:05] some Chinese and offered me some which I happily accepted as I hadn't eaten since lunch. With that

[00:04:12] I didn't get home till about 11pm and Rob was already asleep. Rob was very short with me for

[00:04:18] days after and we ended up having a huge fight where he told me that I should have put his brother

[00:04:23] and family before Kim. He said he was embarrassed going to the meal without me. I responded that

[00:04:29] I was embarrassed he thought I would put a meal before my sister's health. This led to another

[00:04:35] week of awkwardness between us before we finally sat down and sorted it out. Or so I thought.

[00:04:41] 8 weeks ago Kim got a graft and so far everything is going really well with it. On Saturday his

[00:04:48] brother was here so we went out for dinner with his family. His family were all asking about

[00:04:52] how Kim was doing and I showed them a picture of the stitches in her eye. I thought that everything

[00:04:58] had gone really well until we got home and he got really angry saying that I shouldn't have brought

[00:05:02] up Kim's health issues and I shouldn't have shown them the picture. I argued that they asked about

[00:05:07] her and asked to see the picture. It ended with him telling me that I needed to put him and his

[00:05:12] family before Kim or else we weren't going to work. His family will come before mine once we

[00:05:18] are married so I should get used to it. I went upstairs and packed a bag. I'm now at my mom's

[00:05:24] house and he's been bombarding me with texts and calls since I left. I do love him but I will never

[00:05:30] put his family above my own family's health. I feel like he's expecting me to spend every holiday

[00:05:36] with his family and put their wants above my family's needs. Which won't happen. I'm very

[00:05:42] close to my sister and my mom and that's not going to change so I don't really know how to move forward

[00:05:47] or if I even want to. Has anyone experienced anything like this before? If so, how did you

[00:05:54] deal with it? OPN added an edit to their post and said thank you so much for everyone that commented.

[00:06:00] I replied to as many as I could but I read all of them.

[00:06:05] Warning, this is going to be longer than the original post. A lot has happened.

[00:06:09] For those that wanted a longer version, once I decided to end things with him,

[00:06:14] I knew that the main issue would be getting him out of my house. I own the house outright. My

[00:06:19] grandma died 5 years ago and left the house to my mom, who sold it and split the money between

[00:06:24] me and my sister. I then bought my house with that money about a year after she died.

[00:06:30] I got in touch with my stepdad's friend, who was a landlord the day after I wrote my original post,

[00:06:36] who then put me in touch with his solicitor. He didn't have time to see me in person that day but

[00:06:41] we did have a phone call where he gave me my options. In the UK we have something called a

[00:06:46] section 8 notice. This is a 14 day eviction notice and the solicitor said that would be

[00:06:51] the quickest way to get him out. However, he could try and contest it if he wanted to which

[00:06:56] would lead to court dates and could take months. I asked him to drop the notice and date it for

[00:07:00] Friday, the next day. I had already made the decision to end things with him after work on

[00:07:05] Friday so that he could at least have the weekend to sort through his emotions before work on Monday.

[00:07:11] On Friday morning I text Rob and ask him to meet with me at our local pub after work.

[00:07:15] He quickly agreed. Not only is the pub a public space but my stepdad and a few of his work friends

[00:07:21] go in there every Friday after work for a few pints so I knew he would be in there to step in

[00:07:25] if I needed him. Thank you for suggesting this Redditors. I also picked up the eviction notice

[00:07:30] on my lunch break so I was ready to give it to him. Cost £250 but was worth it.

[00:07:36] When I got to the pub Rob was already there and my stepdad was stood at the bar with his workmates.

[00:07:41] I sat down with Rob and got straight to the point. I told him that it was over. I couldn't be with

[00:07:47] someone who didn't give me any support when I was going through one of the scariest moments of my

[00:07:51] life and expected me to drop my family for his. It didn't matter what excuses he could come up

[00:07:56] with. I wasn't interested. I'd made up my mind and we were done. He stared at me in shock for what

[00:08:02] felt like an hour but was probably only a minute or so. He then started saying that I couldn't be

[00:08:08] serious. We'd been together for 7 years and I was throwing it all away. I could never find another

[00:08:15] like him. I responded to the last comment with, I don't want a guy like you. That's why I'm ending

[00:08:23] it. I need someone who will support me when times get tough. Not get annoyed that the world isn't

[00:08:28] bowing down to what he wants. I then handed him an envelope with the eviction notice in and my

[00:08:33] engagement ring. I told him I was giving him a few weeks to find a place and be out of my house.

[00:08:38] Then I stood up and walked over to my stepdad who'd bought me a much needed drink and stayed

[00:08:43] with him until my ex left looking in shock. I knew he wouldn't approach me whilst I was with

[00:08:48] my stepdad as he's always been a little scared of him. This is obviously a very condensed version

[00:08:53] of what happened. Once I got back to my mum's house, I had one single text from him saying he

[00:08:58] wasn't moving out and was going to contest the eviction until I'd come to my senses and got back

[00:09:03] with him. We are not over was how he ended the text. I just turned my phone off and decided to

[00:09:10] deal with the legal side of things on Monday. There was nothing else I could do. Saturday

[00:09:14] morning I woke up and turned my phone back on and had another text from him saying that he would

[00:09:19] move out if I paid him £10,000 as that's what he paid towards bills whilst he had lived at the

[00:09:25] house. He paid for half the electric, gas, wifi and sky package. No, the sky package is only as

[00:09:32] expensive as it is because he has to have every sports channel known to man so his half literally

[00:09:37] just paid for the sports channels. I already asked the solicitor about this though and he

[00:09:42] assured me that I didn't owe him any money as he hasn't contributed towards a mortgage or any

[00:09:47] renovation to the house, it was just general expenses. He also knew that I don't have £10,000

[00:09:53] just lying around. Let's say I was irritated by this and decided to ring his mum to see if she

[00:09:57] could talk some sense into him. I'd call his mum Sandra to make it easier. She was appalled by what

[00:10:03] I told her and she said she would speak to him. She called me back about an hour later and asked

[00:10:08] me to meet her at the house. Rob was on an away day to watch his football team play and wouldn't

[00:10:13] be back until about 10pm so I knew he wasn't there. I met her at the house with Kim and Sandra said

[00:10:19] that Rob's brother was on his way back home and that they would have Rob out by the following

[00:10:24] afternoon. She hadn't even spoken to Rob, just his brother but she promised he would be out.

[00:10:30] Sandra then asked me to walk her through the house showing her exactly what was his and what

[00:10:34] wasn't so he didn't take anything that didn't belong to him. The next morning I got a text

[00:10:39] from Rob calling me all the names under the sun for getting his mum and brother involved.

[00:10:44] I blocked him and a couple of hours later Sandra texted me to let me know he was out and staying

[00:10:48] with her. I thanked her and she told me that she would like to stay in contact and I happily agreed

[00:10:54] to this. I went back to my house after work on Monday, changed the alarm code and my stepdad

[00:11:00] locked all the locks for me. My stepdad is also arranging for a friend of his to install cameras

[00:11:05] around the outside of the house, this will be done over the weekend. Sandra rang me on Tuesday

[00:11:11] asking if we could meet up as she had some things she wanted me to know so we met for lunch that day.

[00:11:17] It was at this time that she told me her ex was a controlling asshole who was incredibly selfish

[00:11:23] and the selfishness was what she had seen in Rob for so long. That's why she commented on him being

[00:11:28] like his father, but she had hoped that was the extent of Rob's attitude and hadn't picked up

[00:11:33] his dad's controlling behavior. Which to be fair he hadn't up until this whole episode. She had

[00:11:39] left Rob's dad after he punched Rob's brother in the face when he was 14 and Rob was 10. He'd

[00:11:44] never laid a hand on her or their sons before, but one time was enough and she left with the boys.

[00:11:50] To her knowledge her ex had never reached out to speak to Rob or his brother and they hadn't

[00:11:55] spoken to their father in years. I didn't know any of this, all I had been told was their dad

[00:12:00] wasn't in the picture and hadn't been for a long time, but Sandra had thought I knew and that's

[00:12:05] why she hadn't told me before. However, she found out on Saturday night that Rob was back in contact

[00:12:11] with his father and had been for the past year. His dad had been putting lots of thoughts into

[00:12:16] Rob's head about how he is the man of the house and his family is all that matters. This had fed

[00:12:22] into Rob's selfish tendencies and had amplified them tenfold. Sandra said that she had told him

[00:12:28] to find somewhere else to stay ASAP and she couldn't even look him in the face. Then Rob

[00:12:33] and his brother had a huge argument that ended with his brother telling him that as long as Rob

[00:12:37] is in touch with their dad then he will have zero contact with him. Even going so far as to tell

[00:12:42] him to spend Christmas with their dad because Sandra is going to his house and Rob isn't welcome.

[00:12:48] When Sandra took Rob's brother's side in all this, Rob flew into a rage and said he would move

[00:12:52] in with his dad. He then left the house but came back a couple hours later looking like he had

[00:12:57] been crying. Turns out that his dad doesn't want him living with him and basically said he could

[00:13:02] be on the streets for all he cares, he's not putting a roof over a grown man's head. Sandra

[00:13:08] thinks that Rob is now starting to realize everything he has lost due to him listening to

[00:13:11] his dad and has seen his dad's true colors. Sandra is incredibly disappointed in him but he's

[00:13:18] her son so she's trying to be there for him as best as she can. However, she still wants him out

[00:13:24] as she doesn't trust him anymore, his brother still won't have anything to do with him. She has

[00:13:29] also told him to stay the hell away from me because I don't need to be brought into this

[00:13:33] and he has promised her that he will. Only time will tell if that's true but I do have him blocked

[00:13:38] on everything and if he turns up to the house I will just call the police to get rid of him.

[00:13:42] The more Sandra told me about what has been going on behind my back, the more resolute I've become

[00:13:47] about wanting nothing to do with him. I never want to see him again if I can help it. So all in all,

[00:13:54] Rob's life is a shit show but as long as he stays away from me then I don't care. I've been spending

[00:13:59] a lot of time with my sister and her wife as well and my mom and stepdad which has been great. I've

[00:14:05] never really been close to my stepdad but this has brought us a lot closer together which has

[00:14:10] been one huge positive out of all of this. I'm not exactly happy right now but I'll get there.

[00:14:15] There's still a lot of feelings that I need unpacked and it will take time to move on from

[00:14:19] this whole situation. I don't think I'll be dating for a while. I need to really get over all this and

[00:14:25] don't want to dump this on anyone else right now. For all of those asking how Kim is doing,

[00:14:30] she's doing great. Had a hospital appointment on Monday and her consultant said her eye is

[00:14:34] healing, in his words, marvelously. So that's a relief. Thank you to everyone who reached out to

[00:14:40] me. Hope there won't be any need to update this again. So this should be my final update which

[00:14:46] obviously is not.

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[00:15:53] And the next update says, so I, 28 female posted on relationship advice before about my now ex 29

[00:15:59] male. The post and update is in my profile but basically my ex fiance wanted me to put his

[00:16:04] family before mine even at the cost of my sister's health. I ended up breaking up with him

[00:16:08] over it and he was forced to move in with his mom, who then found out he'd been in touch with his

[00:16:12] abusive dad who was twisting his view on how relationships should work. Last I heard that

[00:16:18] his mom was kicking him out as she would not have anyone in the house that was in contact with her

[00:16:22] ex and that he had tried to go live with his dad but his dad had refused. I was completely no

[00:16:26] contact with him. So his mom was the one that had told me this. I called my ex Rob and his ex mom

[00:16:31] Sandra to make things easier. I hadn't heard from Rob in weeks but yesterday he showed up at my

[00:16:38] house. Had the chain on my door so opened it with that still attached. No way would I let him in.

[00:16:44] He basically told me that he had nowhere to live, his mom isn't speaking to him and his dad won't

[00:16:48] put a roof over a grown man's head. His words not mine. He asked if I'd take him back or at least

[00:16:54] let him live with me. No way in hell would I get back with him and getting him out the first time

[00:17:00] only went easy because his mom stepped in to help. He had threatened to take me to court knowing that

[00:17:05] if he did it could take months to get him out and then he would only move out if I gave him £10,000.

[00:17:11] I contacted his mom who was furious about that and she turned up with his brother and forced

[00:17:16] him out. I told him there was zero possibility of him ever living with me again and that we were 100%

[00:17:23] over. He started shouting at me calling me all sorts of names so I threatened to call the police

[00:17:28] if he didn't leave and shut the door. I have cameras all over my house so I caught everything

[00:17:33] he did and said on camera and have it saved to a USB just in case. He then went crying to all

[00:17:39] our mutual friends and he managed to get back to his mom. She called me and asked what happened.

[00:17:44] I told her and she then informed me that she had put her house up for sale and was moving 300 miles

[00:17:49] away to be nearer to her other son. Her and Rob had a huge argument about this and she finally

[00:17:54] kicked him out. Since then he's been couch surfing but with Christmas coming up his friends aren't

[00:17:59] really happy with having him on their couches when they have kids and are meant to be enjoying the

[00:18:04] festive season. He's been kicked out of 3 friends houses in 10 days. She told me I was right to

[00:18:10] refuse him but I've since had other friends saying that they feel sorry for him and that I can just

[00:18:15] let him stay in my spare room until he's back on his feet. I then asked them to put him up but they

[00:18:20] said they would but they don't have room and if they had a spare room like me then they would let

[00:18:24] him stay. My family and his are on my side but I'm starting to doubt myself with what a couple of my

[00:18:30] friends have said so reddit am I the asshole. Just a quick edit as I'm going to bed. I've spoken

[00:18:37] with the wife of one of Rob's friends and she asked me to meet me on my lunch break tomorrow.

[00:18:42] Apparently Rob stayed with them for 2 nights before she kicked him out and there's more going on than

[00:18:47] what I know of. She's going to tell me the full story tomorrow but told me that I shouldn't let him

[00:18:51] anywhere near me and that he's staying in a B&B so he does at least have a roof over his head right

[00:18:56] now. I'll try and update after I've spoken to her. And the top comment on that post said

[00:19:02] Not the asshole, you're lucky you got out when you did. File for a restraining order.

[00:19:06] Not sure if it's called the same in the UK. As soon as possible.

[00:19:09] Opie says restraining orders are ridiculously hard to get. There usually has to be violence involved

[00:19:15] for one to be issued. I'm going to make sure I log everything from now on though.

[00:19:19] Next update says

[00:20:45] Some basic rules and paid for his own food. The rules were things like no bringing women back

[00:20:50] there and if he went out drinking he had to be quiet when he got back so he didn't wake their

[00:20:54] daughter who's 6. He agreed to all this and paid for Chinese for them all that night.

[00:20:59] The next day after work Rob went to meet his dad in the pub for a few pints.

[00:21:03] When Zach and Nat went to bed, Rob still wasn't home. They were woken up about 2 in the morning

[00:21:10] by Rob arguing with a woman. Apparently, Rob had met this woman in a bar, took her back to Zach

[00:21:15] and Nat's house, got his pleasure and then told her to get dressed and fuck off once he was done.

[00:21:20] She had gotten angry which started an argument where Rob was saying some horrific shit to her.

[00:21:25] Nat took the woman downstairs and got her a taxi while Zach stayed upstairs arguing with Rob.

[00:21:30] Once Nat got rid of the woman she went back upstairs and tried to calm Zach and Rob down.

[00:21:35] At this point Rob decided to take out his frustrations on Nat,

[00:21:38] calling her a bitch and telling her to do something useful and make him a sandwich before

[00:21:42] bursting out laughing like he'd made the funniest joke ever. This made Zach lose it and pin Rob to

[00:21:48] the wall by his throat. Side note, Rob isn't a fighter at all where Zach was an amateur boxer

[00:21:54] in his youth and can handle himself well. Nat managed to get Zach to let him go and Rob was

[00:21:59] shoved in the guest room and told him to sleep off the alcohol. It's a miracle that Nat's daughter

[00:22:04] didn't wake up during this. The next morning Nat got their daughter ready and went to her

[00:22:09] mom's after telling Zach to get Rob out of their house. Zach agreed and after Nat left he woke Rob

[00:22:15] up and told him to pack his shit and leave. Rob tried to apologize and begged to stay but

[00:22:20] Zach was having none of it and kicked him out. Going off the timing I think he left there and

[00:22:24] came straight to my house. On Sunday Zach texted Rob to meet up so they could speak and they met

[00:22:30] up in a pub. Zach has been friends with Rob since they were 11 and has never seen him act like he

[00:22:35] has been doing so he wanted to find out what was really going on. He managed to finally get the

[00:22:40] truth out of Rob. Basically Rob has been in contact with his dad for a lot longer than he told us,

[00:22:46] by this point it's over 2 years. His dad is a raging misogynist that believes a woman's place

[00:22:52] is in the kitchen and bedroom, a man's place is to rule the house and be weighted on hand and foot,

[00:22:57] as well as deciding who can and can't be in their lives. He's been dripping this

[00:23:01] poison into Rob's ear and it's really taken a hold of him. Zach told Nat that he just doesn't

[00:23:08] recognize Rob anymore, Rob wants to start living his life the way his father has told him he should.

[00:23:14] When Zach pointed out that Rob's dad is 62, living in a shitty one bedroom flat,

[00:23:19] not had a real relationship since Rob's mom left him, has no friends, his family doesn't speak to

[00:23:25] him and he's the type of guy that when he walks into a pub people finish their pints so they can

[00:23:29] leave and get away from him. Rob was furious, he told Zach that his dad is just misunderstood.

[00:23:35] Zach responded that people understood his dad and that's why they stayed away from him,

[00:23:39] he's toxic. This pretty much ended their conversation and Rob left. Zach did find

[00:23:46] out that Rob does have a flat lined up for January so that was true and he's found a B&B he can stay

[00:23:51] in till the flat is ready at minimal cost. Zach and Nat have also decided to go no contact with

[00:23:56] Rob as they don't need that toxicity around them but especially not around their daughter.

[00:24:02] A few redditors have said it sounded like Rob was on drugs so I asked Nat what she thought and

[00:24:07] she doesn't think so but can't be sure. She and Zach think that Rob is just so far under his dad's

[00:24:13] thumb now that he's completely changed as a person, he believes that everything his dad said is gospel.

[00:24:19] She did let me know that Rob has a burner instagram account that he's been using to check on my

[00:24:23] instagram and I immediately made my account private. He had said something about seeing

[00:24:27] me waste money on a stupid amount of Christmas presents when I couldn't even help him out to Zach

[00:24:32] on Sunday. I'd been to a Christmas market on Saturday afternoon and posted pics on Instagram.

[00:24:37] All of this made my resolve stronger that he will not be getting anywhere near my house again.

[00:24:42] It also made me realize that I don't have any feelings for him anymore other than frustration

[00:24:47] at how he's acting and some sadness at how far he's fallen from the man I once knew.

[00:24:52] I thought that hearing he had another woman in his bed would annoy me but there was just nothing,

[00:24:57] I couldn't have cared less. I thanked Nat for the info and we agreed to keep in touch.

[00:25:02] We won't be as close as we were when I was with Rob but it feels good to have someone

[00:25:07] who knows the entire situation and has seen Rob's behavior with his own eyes.

[00:25:12] There were also some redditors that told me to ditch the friends that had told me to let him

[00:25:16] stay with me. Unfortunately I can't ditch them completely as they're part of the friend group and

[00:25:21] that would just cause unnecessary drama but I will be keeping my distance from them and only

[00:25:26] talking to them when part of the group. I'm currently at my sister's and we're going to

[00:25:30] watch a Christmas film to get us in the mood to decorate all our houses this weekend. So I'll be

[00:25:34] on and off for the next few hours if anyone has any questions. Thanks for the votes and giving

[00:25:39] me some perspective. Reddit isn't all bad. A puddle lilac again says the misogyny and

[00:25:46] abuse probably runs in Rob's family. I wonder if on some level the son adopts the way of the father

[00:25:51] so he'll be accepted and loved. Rob's father is probably not capable of love so if the son acts

[00:25:57] horribly and is given praise for it, he might misinterpret it as love and finally figures

[00:26:02] he's getting his father's approval. Just a theory, who knows what actually goes on in these sick

[00:26:08] families. Sad. Opie says I was talking about this to my sister before and she said that she thinks

[00:26:14] he's behaving like this to get some sort of validation from his dad. I knew that he missed

[00:26:18] having a dad growing up as we had talked about our shared experience of that. So you're probably

[00:26:24] right in this regard. I just know that one day he will wake up and realize everything he's lost

[00:26:29] because of his and his dad's actions. I also don't think it helps that he wasn't abused by his dad,

[00:26:35] his mom and elder brother protected him from it. So his memories of his dad from his younger years

[00:26:40] are largely positive. Opie's next update says I still have people reaching out to see if I'm okay.

[00:26:47] A few hated me for using the initials so are as Rob. I really hoped that I wouldn't have to update

[00:26:53] again but I've just had a call from one of Rob's friends and it looks like he's going to be spending

[00:26:57] Christmas in prison. Apparently he went out on Saturday night with his dad and they got into

[00:27:02] an argument which turned physical. Rob isn't a fighter however he's bigger and stronger than

[00:27:08] his dad and it ended with his dad falling backwards and hitting his head off a wall

[00:27:12] knocking him unconscious. The staff in the pub called the police and an ambulance but Rob left

[00:27:17] before they got there. Rob's dad had to go to the hospital where he still is. I'm unsure of his

[00:27:22] exact injuries but they're not life-threatening. He must also be awake as he is pressing charges

[00:27:28] against Rob however they won't keep him in unless absolutely essential at this time of year.

[00:27:34] Rob was arrested on Sunday morning at the B&B he's been staying at and had to appear in

[00:27:38] magistrates court on Monday. Due to him not having a fixed address right now and the fact that his

[00:27:43] dad is still in hospital he's been remanded onto section 18 with intent. Unless he can find

[00:27:49] permanent address to go to he won't be getting out until his trial at crown court. I know his

[00:27:54] mom has already had his brothers over 250 miles away so I don't think she'd be able to help right

[00:27:59] now. Finding this out has actually given me a sense of peace right now. I've been trying to

[00:28:04] ignore it but the chance of him turning up and spoiling Christmas has been at the back of my mind

[00:28:08] ever since he turned up at my house. I'm hoping he stays in over Christmas so I can just relax.

[00:28:14] Opiad section 18 is an assault charge. A section 18 with intent is the next level up and is classed

[00:28:20] as intending to and causing grievous bodily harm to someone. I've been told that if found guilty

[00:28:26] then it's usually a multiple year prison sentence. Opiad's another mini update and says

[00:28:31] I went around to N and Zed hereby known as Nat and Zach to drop off a present for their daughter.

[00:28:37] A bottle of bells for Zach and a bottle of prosecco for Nat for Christmas and had a cup of tea with

[00:28:41] them whilst they filled me in on what's going on. Rob will be in over Christmas but will likely get

[00:28:47] out early January. His lawyer is trying to get the charges reduced from a section 18 with intent

[00:28:52] to a section 20. I only found out today that a section 18 with intent is one step down from

[00:28:58] attempted murder and you're looking at double digits in prison if you get found guilty. Section

[00:29:04] 20 is a lot less severe and is usually a two year suspended sentence for first time offenders.

[00:29:10] His lawyer has said that if he pleads guilty to the section 20 then CPS will lower the charges

[00:29:15] to get this one over and done with ASAP as the courts are ridiculously backed up in the UK right

[00:29:20] now and prisons are full. Zach went to the B&B he was staying at and got Rob's stuff which is now

[00:29:26] sat in his garage as one last favour to Rob, Zach's words. He can't stay in touch with me without my

[00:29:32] consent whilst he is locked away. The prisoner has to literally ring me and ask if it's okay

[00:29:37] if I get put on his approved call list and only then is he allowed to ring me which won't be

[00:29:42] happening. I've also talked to his mum who has basically washed her hands with him for the time

[00:29:47] being. She thinks that he needs to learn his lesson and maybe spending Christmas in a cell

[00:29:52] will teach him how much he's lost the plot. She has spoken to him and said that he's now saying

[00:29:57] the right things but only time will tell if he means them. He's talking about moving to be near

[00:30:02] his brother to get away from their dad so maybe he's seen the light. His brother has refused to

[00:30:07] go on his call list so Rob can't contact him but I don't know how that will work. As for his dad,

[00:30:13] he's still in hospital with a broken hip and has to have surgery to fix it. A broken bone and head

[00:30:19] injury is why the charges are so high right now. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my

[00:30:24] shoulders knowing he can't ruin my Christmas. I'm just about to pack everything into a car and go and

[00:30:29] stay at my mum's until January 2nd but thought I'd finish the year off letting everyone who's

[00:30:34] helped me and supported me through this know what's going on. Merry Christmas to everyone

[00:30:38] that celebrates it and hope everyone is doing well. OP gives a little update on their sister

[00:30:44] on how they're doing with their eye surgery and OP says she's doing great. Not got to go back to

[00:30:49] hospital till the end of January as they're happy with her. Still a long road to recovery as the

[00:30:54] stitches won't be out for at least another 6 months, probably longer. She and her wife will

[00:30:59] be at mum's all over Christmas as well. They're gonna be here tomorrow and staying till after

[00:31:04] new year as well. She is at the football today and hospitality is a treat from our stepdad so

[00:31:09] she was buzzing this morning. Hope you have a great time as well. A great new year.

[00:31:30] being a misogynist and he's absolutely got what's coming to him and so I'm not excusing any of the

[00:31:36] behaviour whatsoever but I did find the situation incredibly sad to see the downfall of this person.

[00:31:43] Again, not excusing any of the behaviour because you know he's called people awful names who knows

[00:31:48] how far he would have went if this continued but the comment in the middle where it said he was

[00:31:52] looking sort of like from love from his father in some kind of way and you know that his father

[00:31:57] just treats him like absolute shit, doesn't want anything to do with him said no no you know if

[00:32:02] you're homeless that's your problem I'm not I'm not supporting a grown man and that he's just

[00:32:08] fucked his own life up trying to chase this dream of his trying to chase whatever he's chasing here

[00:32:14] and there was mentions of maybe he's seen the light at the very end of this story after everything

[00:32:19] that's happened. I don't know. I thought he had done that earlier. I thought he would have recognised

[00:32:23] that when his dad didn't help him the first time around, everyone warning him so I'm not sure I

[00:32:29] completely believe it as yet. It's really sad but what do you guys make of this situation and

[00:32:38] all the updates? Do you think that Rob is finally going to change or do you think not? Let us know

[00:32:44] your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for

[00:32:48] getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world

[00:32:53] to me so thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care

[00:32:59] and much love.

[00:33:54] at hellofresh.com