Ex-Husband Is Angry I Moved On So Quickly After He Left Me r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from LogicalBluvery5 who says, Am I the arsehole for moving on so quickly after my husband left me?

[00:00:28] My 47 female husband, 47 male, asked for a separation on our 14th anniversary while we were away in a foreign country to celebrate. While we weren't as close as we used to be, we almost never fought and generally enjoyed each other's company and families. We do not have any children. The night before our anniversary, he brought up he wasn't very happy in the relationship, but didn't know why.

[00:00:55] The next morning, I asked to see his phone and he said no. He said I would find flirty messages with one or more other women on it. He'd made some female friends through school and work and he said he felt like there might be someone out there who was a better fit for him. I said I did not want to do a trial separation, as I don't believe you can work on something if you aren't living together.

[00:01:19] If he wanted to separate, it would be final. He understood but said it was something he had to do. After being away for only two days, we rebooked our flights home. Flew home and he packed some belongings and left. Seven days later, he asked to come home and we started marriage counseling. He had a lot of trouble admitting he had at least one emotional affair.

[00:01:42] The counseling was not helpful. He was defensive and not open to it. I suspect something physical happened with other women, but I do not have any proof. He deleted all his flirty texts, Snapchat, etc. so I could not see them. After four weeks of living together again and attending counseling sessions, he decided he no longer wanted to try to save the marriage and he was leaving.

[00:02:05] He packed up and left a few hours later. He stayed with a friend, found a new apartment and signed a one year lease. I was devastated and even had to take time off work to process what had happened and attend individual counseling. After four weeks, I started to feel a bit better. I went out for drinks with a group of four co-workers that live in my area and found I really enjoyed one of them. 42 male, a lot. I'd only met him over Zoom before this.

[00:02:33] We started seeing each other a couple of times a week. Quite quickly, it grew into a truly amazing and loving relationship. I've stayed in counseling throughout as it wasn't easy to process the sudden ending of my long term marriage at the same time as beginning something new. It's been about seven months now. Mike's husband eventually decided he wanted to try to save the marriage again, but I declined. He says I'm the asshole for starting a new relationship so quickly within six weeks of him leaving.

[00:03:02] Our relationship was over as I can no longer trust him and it has hurt me immensely. I do not want a relationship with someone I cannot trust. Am I the asshole for moving on? Absolutely not the asshole in this situation. You go and live your best life the way that you want to. I'm not sure what he was expecting after the way that he was treated. He left you twice. On your anniversary of all days the first time.

[00:03:28] He clearly had been emotionally cheating on you before and you know, you suspect something physical at the same time. Apologies if you heard Poppy's feet taps there. Was he literally just expecting you to be sitting around crying for him, moping around? No, not gonna happen. Of course I would always say, you know, be careful in new relationships after you just left the previous one. But if you're enjoying life, you go on and enjoy it, you know. But random Reddit says not the asshole.

[00:03:58] He left you twice. I guess you were supposed to just sit around wallowing in tears while he went off doing whatever and whoever until he was ready to come back to you. Bombshell Jamboree says gosh, if only he hadn't cheated. Broke up with you on your anniversary. Quit therapy. Broke up with you again. Moved out. Got a divorce. Yeah, this is all your fault. Not the asshole. Go live your best life. Remarkable Fold says not the asshole.

[00:04:27] He literally said he felt there'd be a better woman for him somewhere. He's cheated on you probably multiple times, so he doesn't have the right to be mad at you for moving on when he couldn't even stay faithful to you. He can't try to get rid of you and want you again. Corwood D'Amba replies that saying not the asshole. He wanted out and you let him out. He has no claim on you. He may have realized that he fucked up, but that is not something that you need to help him recover from. He gets asleep in a bed that he chose to make for himself.

[00:04:55] I wouldn't respond to him unless you want to respond with laughing emojis. Cloyce has said, My spouse once told me during divorce talks. Well, maybe we'll separate now, but in the future, who knows? Wow. I'm not going to be sitting around on the sidelines for you to make up your mind deciding I'm worth having in your life after all. This marriage was not a flippant thing to me. It was important.

[00:05:19] And I'd rather take chances on total strangers than someone who has broken my heart over and over again. I am no one's backup plan. OP said my husband suggested the exact same thing. I'm glad you didn't wait for yours either. Another user says my ex-husband said the exact same thing. He left me for a woman he'd met three times.

[00:05:41] When I saw him a year later to finalize the split, he started talking about how maybe we should go to marriage counseling and hinted that he wanted me to take him back. Thankfully, I said no. Because guess what he did one week later? For a housewarming party for the new girl. On the anniversary of the day, he blindsided me by asking for a divorce. She was already living with him when he made overtures to me about getting back together. Honestly, F these idiots.

[00:06:10] They're children walking around in adult bodies. How do these people ask that question? And said, oh, maybe in a few months or years we could get back together. Like seriously say that after what's happened. But anyway, OP came in with her update and said, I'm not sure how to provide an update. So I hope this is right. The biggest update is that my ex-husband, 48 male and I, 47 female, are finally officially divorced.

[00:06:36] We split everything equally and I bought him out of the family home. Thankfully, the divorce process was quick and easy once we waited the mandatory separation period for our state. When signing the divorce papers, he asked if I was sure I wanted to proceed. Notably, while he was seeing someone else. He wanted to try again if I was willing. I wasn't and thankfully he didn't fight it or make the divorce process more difficult in any way. My ex has been seeing this woman for quite a while now.

[00:07:06] I know he never knew her before we split but I do not know if he cheated with her or not. It doesn't matter to me. I wish them the best. My relationship with my new partner, 42 male, has continued to be amazing. It's the best relationship I've ever been in and I can honestly say I've never been more happy. He's kind, loving and a great communicator. We moved in together a while back and a few months later we became engaged. We plan to elope somewhere in the next year.

[00:07:33] While it may seem crazy, I'm grateful for my ex's cheating and the following heartbreak. Without it, I may have not found the happiness I have today. As they always say in stories like this, living well or living good or whatever the saying is, is the best form of revenge and congratulations to you OP. It sounds like you're doing fantastic. But a part of me did feel sorry for like his current partner now.

[00:07:59] I'm not sure if beforehand that the current partner knew about OP. So I'm not sure if there was any cheating or infidelity that, you know, the current partner knew about. If that makes sense. My sympathy would be gone if she knew about OP and then was actively cheating. But the fact that the husband came up and was trying to rekindle their relationship after this while he's with someone else is just awful, isn't it?

[00:08:24] And that person is probably gonna be treated in the same way until he finds someone who's a better fit for him. He's just gonna keep flip flopping his way through life, damaging people on as he goes. And you know, it's awful. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from ReboundDork12345 and says,

[00:08:53] Am I the asshole here that my husband is planning to go on a dinner date with a long term ex? Throwaway account. I really need input from people who don't know us. So their opinions aren't biased. I'm very emotional and tired. So I apologize in advance for any typos. My husband Jack, male 36, used to date Emma, female 34, for years. They broke up because Jack didn't want to get married or have kids. Emma moved away.

[00:09:21] And about a month later, Jack met me, female 30. I didn't look like the typical girls Jack had been dating. For example, Emma is super tall, blonde with blue eyes and has a PhD. I'm petite, 110 pounds and short. I'm a nurse. I have dark curly hair and I'm an introvert. Apparently, she was a social butterfly. Jack has a group of friends that he's known since childhood. They're like brothers to him. But from the very beginning, they didn't like me.

[00:09:50] They still call me the rebound girl. At our wedding during his best man speech, he joked, We all thought rebound girls were temporary, but our brother Jack made an honest woman out of her. Everyone laughed. I didn't. They also joked that I'm just a nurse and that Jack downgraded, since he has a PhD, technically postdoctoral. From a doctor to just a nurse. For my own sanity, I ignore them and Jack still hangs out with them regularly.

[00:10:21] Last weekend, there was a fundraising gala and Emma was there. I saw her for the first time in person. Jack introduced me and Emma said, Yeah, I know who she is. The guys weren't kidding when they described her. Haha. Jack quickly changed the topic and asked how long she was in town. She said for a week and they ended up chatting all night, reminiscing about old times. I decided to talk to other people. Later, at bedtime, Jack mentioned that he should go out to dinner with Emma.

[00:10:49] I assumed he meant inviting her over. So I asked what kind of food she likes so I could make it. He said no, it would be just the two of them. I asked, like a date? And he replied, no, just two friends going to dinner. Why are you so insecure? I asked him, do you miss her? Do you miss being with her? He said, I'm not going to lie. It felt great talking to her tonight. There's just something about her. I got really upset and told him he can do whatever he wants.

[00:11:18] But if he goes on this dinner date, I'm done. He thinks I'm overreacting and being insecure. The absolute cheeky bastard calling you insecure. Telling you that you're overreacting and insecure after he just said the words. It felt great to talk to her tonight. There's something about her. OP, you deserve better than this relationship.

[00:11:43] Someone who's disrespecting you right now to your face and has allowed disrespect to come at you from all different angles. From his friends, from her. And mate, you just deserve so much more than that. Don't put up with that shit. Be done with him. I checked out pretty early in it when, you know, he's allowing all this disrespect towards you. But when they said there's just something about her, holy shit. I'm somewhat hoping that it's going to be like the last story that he's going to go off chasing now and it's going to be unsuccessful.

[00:12:12] And it's going to be another fuck around and find out situation. But dog the bot hunter says, is this for real? How could literally anyone think they're the asshole in a situation where their husband is going on a date with an ex? Or how could anyone find it ever appropriate to say to someone made an honest man slash woman out of anyone else? Ain't Marshmello says, your husband and his friends haven't shown a lot of respect for you or your marriage. How long have you been with him and dealing with this? How long is he going to let this go on?

[00:12:41] Opie says his family has been extremely kind and respectful to me. Not once they mentioned his ex's name or compared me. His friends on the other hand think it's funny to make these comments. Mary says, why won't you let me go on a date with my ex who all my friends compare you to and insult you over? God, you're so insecure. Then says, has your douchebag of a husband ever defended you? Has he ever gone to the mat for you? Has he ever expressed to those assholes how much he loves and values you? I don't blame you for being done.

[00:13:10] If he goes, you need to follow through because that means seeing her is more important to him than his marriage to you. Correct Fennel says, why can't you go to the dinner too? If he won't cancel, then you can go too. Make sure your husband and his ex remember who he is actually married to. Hella inappropriate for him to think that was okay. Opie says, because it's just two friends catching up. You don't even know her so it would be weird. Honestly, it makes you look like a controlling wife if you come.

[00:13:39] And a final comment from Ok Adhesiveness who says, he's spineless and worthless. The whole group. You need to be with someone who respects you and demands others to respect you too. Everyone cannot be a PhD. Having said that, not everyone can be a decent human. Your husband surely isn't and all his group are a bunch of overgrown middle aged bullies with weak knees and big fat brains. I hate such people who make others question their worth. And he has never been into you and emotionally cheated on you since the very beginning.

[00:14:10] The call is yours. So Opie comes in with her update and says, it's 4.45am and I didn't sleep last night. I thought I'd post an update. I decided to stay awake and talk to him when he came home. When he did, I told him I could have tracked your location, shown up at the restaurant and done so many things to get my answer. But I'd like to believe you have enough respect for me to tell me. Will you on a dinner date with your friends or Emma? He showed me pictures and said no. It was all of us.

[00:14:39] Me, my friends and Emma. I was stupid enough to feel relieved, even feeling bad for accusing him. Then he told me to sit down because we needed to talk. He said that after seeing Emma at the gala, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He decided to take Monday and Tuesday yesterday off and spent the whole day with her while I assumed he was at work. He went on about how strong their connection was, how they couldn't stop talking and how much he enjoyed being with her.

[00:15:08] He told me I'm a sweet woman, but he never felt that spark with me. He said that at dinner, Emma was laughing and having fun with everyone, and it felt like old times, compared to me being quiet and uncomfortable around his friends. He said it's best if we go our separate ways. I asked him if they had sex, and he didn't reply. I asked again and again, but he still wouldn't answer. I was so upset and asked, why did you marry me if you're not over her?

[00:15:35] He said he thought I was the one, but these past two days made him realize there's no spark between us. He kept going on about how sweet I am and that I'll find someone soon. I told him to shut up. I said Emma knew about your cancer treatments. Where was she when you needed a friend? Why didn't she ever call you back then? He went quiet. I feel stupid for ignoring all the red flags over the years. I'm wasting six years of my life with him.

[00:16:02] My next step is hiring a lawyer and finding my own place. I feel so numb right now. I'm going to contact my brother to help me. Thank you everyone. There was a couple of additional posts that gave some extra information to what was going on. OP posted something asking can Sue to be ex bring guests over for a sleepover if his name is on the house title? And says I will see a lawyer soon. My ex and I got into a huge argument tonight. We share a house that we're currently living in. He sleeps in our bedroom.

[00:16:31] I sleep in the spare room. He told me tonight that he wants his girlfriend to stay with him. Yes, at our house while she is in town. Can I legally call the police to kick her out? Or since house is under his name too. He can bring anyone and cops can't do anything. I suggest that he moves out so he can invite whoever he wants. But he doesn't want to pay the mortgage for our current house and rent. For a place he would be staying. And that kind of just says to me he doesn't feel bad about what he's done at all.

[00:17:00] He doesn't feel bad for wasting six years of OP's life. Why would you do that to someone after what you've already done? It just feels like some kind of like power play or and from her like the new girlfriend's point of view as well. It's just bizarre ass behavior. And I'm not suggesting OP should do this at all. Because you know I think OP needs to look after their safety and do what's best for their own situation. Dealing with their own mental health. But my thoughts I'd be petty as fuck in that situation.

[00:17:31] Petty me doesn't come out too often. But holy moly. If he wants to play stupid games I'll be walking around in my skitties all day. If they're watching a movie in the living room I'll be sitting down on the sofa and saying well this is a crap movie isn't it? Just commenting and running commentary from me. Maybe buy a drum kit. Learn to play the drums. Why not eh? But in seriousness I wish you all the best moving on OP. And I hope that you find some quick resolution to get yourself out of that situation. And because not only have you been treated horribly in the past.

[00:18:01] You're being treated horribly now after what the fuck he's done. Turn to your brother if you can. And I can't advise on any legalities because I don't know enough about them. And I know there's all sorts of weird situations if you move out of a house and things like that that go on. But I really do wish you all the best. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story.

[00:18:30] This story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from Fantastic Swing 4853. And says Am I the Arsehole for threatening to sue both the school and the family of my daughter's bully. I, 30 male and my husband, 33 male, have an 11 year old daughter who's been going through severe bullying at school. It just keeps getting worse. It started with just name calling but has gotten worse over the past few weeks. Context. She's adopted.

[00:18:57] Which is something we've always been open about and celebrated as part of her story. Recently some kids found out about her adoption and started saying horrible things. Telling her stuff like her birth mother didn't want her. They tell her that she's unwanted. Tell her that she's a reject. Which is not the case. Her mother loved her very much to the point she literally gave her life so she could be here. If this wasn't bad enough. A few days ago she came home in tears with her hair butchered. They'd cut off two inches of her ponytail.

[00:19:27] In class all while taunting her names and laughing at her reaction. They will follow her through the halls to make fun of her on a regular basis now. Both my husband and I have been in touch with the school about the bullying more times than I can count. I emailed, called, even showed up in person to speak with teachers and the principal. But all I got were empty promises that they'd look into it. Nothing changed and my daughter's mental health has taken a hit.

[00:19:54] She's anxious, struggling to sleep and now begs us not to send her to school. I finally had a frustration and feeling like no one was taking this seriously. We reached out to a lawyer to explore legal action against both the school and the bully's family. Only when the school and her parents learned we were considering a legal action did they start to act. Suddenly the school calls me to say they're moving the bully out of my daughter's class and they claim they had a talk with her.

[00:20:21] The girls' parents reached out too, saying they'd talk to their daughter and promised it would stop. But honestly, I don't believe them. It feels like they're all saying this to just get me to back off and avoid the legal consequences. I worry that once the dust settles, things will go right back to how they were. And my daughter will still be dealing with this. My family thinks I should give the school and parents a chance now that they're finally taking action. But I feel like it's all for show.

[00:20:49] So, am I the asshole for moving forward with legal action, even though the school and the bully's parents now claim they're handling it? That this poor 11 year old girl who's been bullied had her hair cut off. She was assaulted by them. And like you all know, if you've been here long enough, that I have been bullied myself in the past. And physically and mentally to the point of some really dark thoughts. And I'm not saying daughter has gone down that path at all.

[00:21:17] But I guarantee that she is hurting mentally as well as physically as well. So absolutely follow through with this. Like you said, they're only acting now because they may have heard of these legal consequences. That kid has got away with assaulting someone in the middle of a classroom. It's just it's just ridiculous, in my opinion. And it did bring me back to a couple of the classrooms that I was in and one of my bullies. And, you know, I wasn't the only person who was bullied by this this guy.

[00:21:44] But this guy was excused by I remember I had to go speak to the head teacher once because another mum reported my bullying. Because my friend told his mum and then it got to the school and I had to go and speak to the head teacher. And the head teacher gave me a sob story about him. I can remember leaving feeling guilty. And this guy, he used to go around class. I can remember one class where he was literally throwing paper airplanes on fire across the classroom. Walking up behind people and like quickly singe in the back of their hair. Just do it. Punish them.

[00:22:14] Aggressive C says, yeah, sorry. Bullying with name calling is one thing. Physical abuse to a child by cutting our hair during class is completely different. Why didn't the teacher do anything? Why did the teacher allow scissors in class? Why was the bully not sent to the principal immediately? Why weren't you notified immediately? Why did your baby have to come home with fucked up hair? Basically a signature of abuse. For you to find out about it.

[00:22:39] I'd be suing the school and that teacher directly for neglect as well as the kid's family for abuse. Not the asshole dad. Protect your kid. Maybe also consider formally pulling her from school and going to your district with a letter officially stating that the school's absolutely asinine job of handling an abuse. Not bullying anymore. They could have stopped it at bullying but let it grow to physical abuse. Case is the sole reason why. What happened to all that zero tolerance for bullying shit that we had when I was in school?

[00:23:09] Yeah, I remember hearing about zero tolerance for bullying. What a load of shit that was. Teacher with opinion says, teacher here, do not back down. I can promise you that this family is a bunch of bullies. At their jobs. With people in general. And they've been getting away with it forever. This is a lesson their child must learn now. I can also promise you that if your child defended herself in any way that caused the bully shame or harm. Your child would have been punished severely by the school and the bully's parents would not back down. Not the asshole.

[00:23:39] It's changing school's an option. Ratchet Girl says they assaulted your daughter. The school and the bully's parents had ample opportunity to deal with the issue. Before your daughter was assaulted. Their pitiful attempts to rectify their sheer lack of discipline is, quite frankly, too little, too late. Your poor daughter has suffered. Not only at the hands of a bully but her teachers. Who should not be allowing bullies of any form in their school.

[00:24:06] They did nothing until legal action was taken against them along with a bully. When your child is at school, supposedly under the care and protection of the teachers. You expect them to do their job. And not ignore escalating bullying. Because it's too much trouble. Hold them all accountable. Give your daughter a great big hug. Absolutely. And I truly hope that OP does follow through. OP said themselves that they've been in touch with the school countless times about this. And they're not dealing with it.

[00:24:37] The fact that that child is still in the school after cutting someone else's hair is just... It's mad to me. Can you imagine cutting someone else's hair? Even at 11 years old. That thought would have never crossed my mind. In the middle of a classroom. Bullying another child to that point. It's just... Oh, man. It just... My heart just goes out for that poor girl. I really wish you all the best and success going forward with the law stuff. I hope it does go through. And I hope something happens.

[00:25:05] But what do you guys make of this situation? I don't know about all the legal stuff. Maybe you do. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.