Ex Girlfriend Maxed My Credit Card As She Says "I Owe Her" r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now, today's first story comes from XSpendingProblem and says,

[00:00:21] My ex-girlfriend stole my emergency credit card and ran up a $3,000 bill. She says I owe it to her to get back on her feet after we broke up. She also said she's not paying it back. My ex and I broke up late last year. She wanted to go out constantly and I did not. Our lifestyles just weren't compatible. She lived at my house and I didn't make her pay anything as I make significantly more than her.

[00:00:47] What really sucked was that if she really wanted to, she could have essentially squatted in my house for months while I'd have had to file eviction papers. In the end, I paid for an apartment deposit and first month's rent on a place for her. I hadn't spoken with her at all into a week ago when I got a collection notice in the mail. The credit card I literally don't use and only had for emergencies was maxed out and charged off.

[00:01:13] When I looked into it, I found it had been maxed out by March of this year. When I downloaded the statements, it's all fast food, Victoria's Secret and grocery stores. I also found the card was missing. I texted her asking about it and she called me and she said it was because I left her with basically nothing and she needed back on her feet. She then said I was lucky she didn't sue me for emotional distress.

[00:01:39] I hung up because she literally sued co-workers twice and got settlements both times. I'm thinking of just going to the police and letting them deal with her. My credit score has dropped about 200 points in a year. Any other advice I might be missing? Edit. I filed the police report and I'm sending the information to the credit bureaus tonight. There was a lot of questions about her previous lawsuits. One was for harassment and the other for sexual harassment.

[00:02:08] They were both iffy cases but both businesses settled. I probably should have been watching my credit better. This was the first time in probably a year and a half that I even checked my credit. And we're not going to cover the comments on this one because it's pretty much going to be the same advice all the way through and that you need to get the police involved because what she committed is fraud. It's as simple as that really, isn't it? She sounds like a right little toerag though, don't she? Threatening to sue you for emotional distress.

[00:02:37] But OP came in with her update. It was only a small one. It said, I heard back from the investigator on my case on Friday. He did a remarkable job from what it sounds like. She confessed to him that she only used my credit card for essentials and then said she also used it at Victoria's Secret. She was charged with felony credit card fraud and had to get a public defender. Since she's never been in legal trouble before, she's been offered 12 months probation.

[00:03:03] I also got an order of protection against her, which she didn't contest. The final ruling is supposed to go through at the start of January, but the investigator said it's basically a done deal. I'm alright with how it turned out. Probation is probably a pretty big deal for her. I knew something like that would absolutely get me fired from my job and drastically alter my life. The charge off was removed from my credit reports and my score is back above 760.

[00:03:30] I actually watch my credit now and I'll be keeping an eye on the public record for a court case just to be safe. I appreciate everyone's advice and encouragement. And it sounds like all's well that ends well after this one. It does make me think about the mindset of the person. They just broke up and she thinks, oh, I'm just going to max out this guy's credit card. And she thinks there's going to be no repercussions from this at all. I just find it absolutely bizarre. You know, it's a mindset. You're thinking this process. Someone was sat there thinking this through.

[00:04:00] There was many points she could have stopped herself. Like when she took the card, she must have held onto the card for a while. Putting the details into various websites, etc. Just so incredibly stupid. But what do you guys make of this situation? Have you ever found yourself in a similar one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from WhatDo232. And it says,

[00:04:36] And before we do get into this story, there's a couple of trigger warnings on it of stalking and obsessive behavior as well. So if you don't want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. It starts off, throw away because one of the people involved knows my personal account. I'm at a loss for how to go about handling this situation in an appropriate manner. Any kind of advice would be greatly appreciated at this point.

[00:05:03] To make this easier, let's call my friend Kate and her fiance John. I met Kate during my sophomore year of high school through mutual acquaintances. We became very close so naturally, I was devastated when she moved several states away after graduating. Despite the distance, we kept contact and remained as good of friends as ever. About two years ago, my family happened to take a vacation in very close proximity to a new home. So we excitedly planned to meet.

[00:05:31] It felt amazing to see her again. We both dashed out of our cars and hugged and squealed like stereotypical best friends. We hung out all evening and caught up with one another in person. Also, I had the chance to finally meet her fiance of one year. I'd only heard great things about this guy and he seemed very pleasant. Shortly after returning home, I received a text message from an unknown number. John. He thanked me for stopping by to see Kate,

[00:05:58] saying that it really lifted her spirits and he hadn't seen her so happy in a long time. Understanding the personal issues Kate had been struggling with lately, I told him I was glad to have helped. I assumed Kate had given him my number and didn't think much else about it. John would text me here and there about little insignificant things. He mentioned the movie him and Kate were about to see and asked my opinion, or suggest to me a fun new video game they'd bought. I'd answer his questions or respond to suggestions,

[00:06:28] but never carry on a conversation beyond the original topic. John would attempt to keep me talking, but I always dropped off due to in part to me not being very big on texting. More than a year after seeing Kate, I received a very late night text from John saying, I miss you. Assuming he had sent this to me by mistake, I ignored it. Fast forward to a month or so ago, I took a weekend trip to visit Kate. We'd been planning this get together for a while

[00:06:56] and I was super excited to spend some much needed girl time with her. I'd been anticipating a chill weekend with my best friend, but nothing could have prepared me for the Twilight Zone shit I was about to walk into. Kate and John picked me up from the airport and I was made to feel uncomfortable almost immediately. John had extended his arms for a hug upon my arrival, which I thought nothing of and accepted. He held me a bit too tightly and was a bit too long, and then commented on how hot I looked.

[00:07:25] Not nice or even pretty. Hot. I sort of just laughed awkwardly and looked towards Kate, who seemed to not be paying attention at the moment. I pushed this aside, chalking it up to a social fluke on his part and enjoyed the rest of my day with them. The daylight hours went smoothly, save for John suggesting several times that we all get drunk that evening. Not being a drinker, I declined only to have him get a little pushy with it. I politely reaffirmed my opinion and he eventually dropped it.

[00:07:56] After returning to their home, the three of us hung out in the family room and watched a bit of television. We all began talking and somehow came to the topic of a pregnancy scare Kate had and told me about a few months prior. John proceeded to tell me how stupid Kate was for the way in which she worried over a possible pregnancy. He said that he had told her several times that it was hardly possible and to stop being such a fucking spaz over it. He went on to tell me that it was her own fault for getting her birth control and it was bullshit for her

[00:08:24] to then expect him to use a condom. I was entirely thrown off by the way he'd raised his voice and talked so rudely about my friend. I defended her, saying that it was an entirely legitimate thing to worry over and that she prefers that he wear a condom in order to be safe and he should respect her wishes. He only laughed at me and Kate stayed totally silent during the entire interaction. John then asked if I wanted to sleep in bed with him and Kate rather than in the guest room, which I found totally strange.

[00:08:53] I declined the offer and went to bed. The following morning, Kate and I had made plans to go shopping. She mentioned John wouldn't be with us because he had to work, which I was very grateful for. Before leaving the house, however, John stopped me and said, You're a heavy sleeper. Confused, I gave a weird look and asked what he meant. He went on to say, You're a heavy sleeper. You don't even wake up when people touch you. Now normally, I would have interpreted this as someone

[00:09:21] possibly trying to rouse me earlier by tapping my shoulder or something along those lines. But the way in which John was smirking at me, the inflection and emphasis he had put on the word touch, caused me to think otherwise. I asked John what the fuck he was talking about and he only laughed, saying it was nothing. Now, I happened to take some relatively strong sleeping pills, which Kate is aware of. These knocked me out pretty hard, but I believe I would have woken up given the chance that someone entered the room or touched me inappropriately.

[00:09:51] So I highly doubt anything actually happened. But the possibility of him groping me in my sleep makes me sick. Actually, the fact that he would say that to me just to cause me anxiety makes me sick. I went on to try and enjoy my outing with Kate, which unfortunately didn't offer much solace. While I stopped at a red light, Kate and I sat quietly as a group of pedestrians crossed the street. Kate made a comment on how beautiful one particular girl in the crowd happened to be. I agreed that she was a very pretty woman,

[00:10:20] only for Kate to suddenly spout out, I'm not attracted to men. She had said this as if the words had been dying to leave her lips for years. I was pretty dumbfounded and caught off guard by the sudden confession as I had never entertained the idea of Kate being a lesbian. She'd mentioned once a short fling she'd shared with a girl in middle school, but claimed it would have been nothing more than a cry for attention. We joked about this here and there, but I never thought she could have been lying.

[00:10:48] I didn't answer due to lacking a decent response, so she followed up by blatantly telling me that she is a lesbian and that she doesn't love John. I asked Kate why on earth she would marry him then, and she only said because I think it's what I should do. I tried to talk to her more about this, but then she told me she preferred the subject to be dropped. At this point, I was counting down the hours to my flight home. The next morning, and after hearing John would be joining us for dinner, I was even more eager to get away. After meeting up with him,

[00:11:18] the three of us began walking into the restaurant, only for me to catch John's hand veering dangerously close to my butt. I shifted away, and he moved very quickly in an attempt to grab it. Luckily, I managed to jump to the side, leaving him with only his fingertips brushing my skirt. I told him to watch his fucking hands, and he just laughed again and made some comment on my appearance and the fact that he couldn't help it. Dinner couldn't have gone by slower. I sat there hardly saying a word and wondering if I should just try

[00:11:46] and get a hotel room for the evening. However, my stupid self decided that I could make it one more night and save the cash. I told Kate that I was very tired the moment we got back to her place, but she insisted that I watch our favorite movie together before I have to go home. Unable to say no, the two of us head up to her room. Her roommate's bedroom is on the bottom floor next to the family room, so the television would have woken them up. About an hour into the movie, John comes in and asks to watch with us. Kate tells him, of course,

[00:12:16] and hardly 10 minutes passed before he's attempting to convince Kate and I to kiss. I say no repeatedly and just keep looking at the screen. Kate isn't saying a damn word about it and John actually starts pleading with us to kiss really quick, so I tell him to shut up and that he's ruining the movie. A couple more minutes of silence pass by until John outright asks if I'd like to sleep with him. The way that he went about asking was if he had deluded himself into thinking he was fucking irresistible to me. I told him no

[00:12:46] and pointed out the fact that Kate was sitting right next to me. I looked at her, expecting some kind of response, but it was obvious that she'd totally spaced out at this point. John informed me that Kate was fine with sharing him. He continued to badger me and insisted that I show him some appreciation for allowing me to stay in his home. I looked at Kate and asked her, how the fuck are you okay with this? She looked as if she was unable to hear me, staring straight ahead with dull eyes. I got up to leave,

[00:13:15] only for John to attempt to block the door. Mind you, I'm five foot tall, a hundred pound girl being physically blocked by a very large man. I tell John firmly to move, only for him to once again say that I owe him. I took my chances and shouldered my way past him. Luckily, he didn't do much but attempt to grab me as I exited the room. I gathered my things quickly and got to the hotel room. Kate never even acknowledged what happened. I think she may be suffering from either John's abuse

[00:13:44] or some kind of mental disorder, which makes me feel bad for being angry with her. But I am. I'm very angry that she sat by and did nothing while her fiance was so aggressive with me. Kate is aware that I was sexually assaulted in the recent past and therefore, I'm sensitive to such pushy advances. I talk to Kate very sparsely and she doesn't seem to understand why. By coincidence, I happen to have accepted a role in an internship program close to the city she lives in. Within a month, I'll be living very close proximity

[00:14:14] to both her and John and I need to figure out what to do. I want to help my friend. I'm afraid that she's experiencing abuse, living a lie by pretending to be heterosexual and maybe possibly suffering from some kind of mental illness. I've never been in a situation like this and I'm at a complete loss. I don't want to see Kate after I move, because that in turn means I'll see John. Any advice to how I can help her and try to diffuse this situation would be massively helpful. Edit. Whoa, my gosh. I just woke up

[00:14:44] and I had no expectations of this post blowing up so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the advice and support. Seriously, you guys have no idea how much it means to me. I've decided to talk to Kate. I'm nervous as hell because I have no clue how she'll react, but I need to reach out to her. She's been there for me during trying times in my life. I want to be there for her. I know for a fact that John works tonight and Kate will accompany him sometimes and just sort of sit there and be idle all evening. I should have recognized this

[00:15:13] as weird earlier, but I don't know if she's going tonight. I asked if she'd like to Skype this evening and she responded with, why do you want to talk to me all of a sudden? I told her I'd just like to catch up and apologize for being so busy as of late. I haven't received an answer just yet, but I'll try my best to update tonight if we get a chance to talk. Once again, thank you to everyone. I respond to as many comments as possible. I'm not receiving any good advice from those close to me, so this is insanely beneficial. Edit 2, Skype him with Kate tonight.

[00:15:44] She agreed a lot more excitedly than I anticipated, judging by her preceding text. We chatted for a little bit afterwards and oddly, she brought up the fact that she had recently watched Rush and commented on how hot Chris Hemsworth is. I was a bit thrown off for obvious reasons, given that she had not only confessed to being lesbian, but verbatim told me she's not attracted to men. Maybe I'm reading too far into it, so I just agreed that yes, Chris Hemsworth is indeed gifted. I told her I couldn't wait to talk tonight.

[00:16:12] I'm still very nervous. And there was a lot of people coming up with various suggestions about maybe, you know, she was trying to initiate a threesome, maybe there is abuse, etc. OP did respond saying, others have suggested to me that she may have been trying to initiate a threesome. She hadn't spaced out by the time John started asking us to kiss. She was just looking at me wordlessly. No matter what, I'm never going near him again unless it's to get Kate and take her somewhere away from him. So it was around eight months later

[00:16:41] that OP came in with her update and said, so I know my original post is super old, but I received an invitation to Kate and John's wedding today. It reminded me of this whole thing and more importantly, the fact that I never thanked everyone for all your supportive comments and advice. Thank you very, very much. Plenty of people have been asking for an update, but honestly, I became so busy with prepping to move that Reddit was not on my list of priorities. So onto the update. I went through with a Skype chat as planned. Luckily, I'd successfully caught Kate alone.

[00:17:11] We small talked for hardly a minute, but my nerves were buzzing and I wanted to get this over with. I jumped right into it and explained to her why I'd been distancing myself, that John's behavior was seriously concerning. I listed to her the exact events that had made me feel uncomfortable both for her safety and mine. She listened in dead silence as I'm certain this had not been her expectations for our chat. After I'd finished, I asked why she would want to spend her life with this man, especially since she confided in me her sexual orientation.

[00:17:41] Kate broke down pretty quickly and to sum it up, she's been in love with me since high school. I can't put it into proper words how I feel about this part. Yes, as some of you suggested, Kate and John had been trying to set up a threesome the entire weekend I was there. I asked her whose idea it had been and she said it was hers, but that John was incredibly excited at the suggestion. She admitted to having planned the entire thing out with John before even inviting me to visit. She said they planned to see if the intimacy would come naturally

[00:18:10] and then tried to initiate if that were not the case. I asked her why she was okay with John acting so coercive and she said he'd promised to make it happen no matter what. After I hadn't caught the hint the past two nights, she said she felt desperate to be with me intimately and would do anything for that to happen. I asked her if it even meant having to force me and she said maybe so, but I would enjoy it eventually. That I would probably have just given in and she could join in if John had followed through.

[00:18:41] Not gonna lie, this made me feel fucking sick, but I set those feelings aside and told her very gently that I don't reciprocate her romantic feelings, but I still care for her as a friend. I told her that I feared for her safety and happiness and only wanted to help, but that completely flipped the switch. Honestly, I've never seen Kate angry. She's a passive person to her fault, but holy shit, did she lose it on me? Kate made a total 180 and began making accusations that didn't make sense. That I was trying to steal John away from her

[00:19:11] and that I can't have him. That his sexual aggression towards me, as well as my past sexual assault, was directly my fault due to how I dress and present myself. That all her insecurities are my fault because she has to put up with John talking about how I look and asking why she can't act more like me. I enjoy doing my makeup and hair, wearing dresses and heels when I go out, while Kate wears only baggy clothing and does nothing to her hair or face. It's always been this way. We just have different styles. Anyhow,

[00:19:39] she ended a tirade by telling me to kill myself, so honestly I hung up after that. I feel as though Kate is dealing with issues that are far out of my league to assist with and I couldn't continue speaking to her. My internship is over now, so I'm home and away from both of them. During my internship, they both attempted to contact me multiple times, but I always deleted the messages. Kate simply ignored what had transpired between us and asked why I wouldn't speak to her. Then John made a few jokes about kidnapping me. I only saw the both of them once

[00:20:08] during my entire internship. I had the chance to attend a large pop culture convention and I was seriously stoked about it, despite having no friends to go with. Luckily, I found a couple of girls on Facebook through my internship group page who were also looking for people to go with. I knew for a fact Kate and John would be going as they attend every year. Plus, the costume I chose to wear was near unmissable, so I was certain they would notice me. Honestly, I was not about to let them spoil the event for me and went anyhow.

[00:20:37] I gave the girls a rundown of the situation and they assured me they had my backs. Lo and behold, I'm standing in an autographed line with my friend. Who hugs me from behind? But John. I basically went into spaz mode and flailed until he let go. Dickweed acted confused. Kate was right beside him being quiet. I'd like to say that I told him off like a champ, but I didn't. I was scared, honestly, so I just ran. I was wearing massive heels, so I had to do that weird crouch move where you're not really running,

[00:21:07] but more so fast walking like a werewolf. A couple of the girls followed me to make sure I was good. Never saw them again. I know the general consensus was to not cut Kate out on my life, but I honestly do not believe either of them are safe to be around. I feel that Kate is dealing with something beyond what I can assist with, and my personal safety needs to come first. Obviously, I'm not going to the wedding. Thank you all for the helpful advice and support I received on my previous post.

[00:21:37] Holy shit. What a scary, scary situation. Couple of predators right there. But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. Whew. Wee. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me, so thank you so, so much for being here, and hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care, and much love.