Co-Worker Went FULL BRIDEZILLA When I Refused To Be Her "Man-Of-Honor" r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from the bridezillas subreddit from Just A RN and says,

[00:00:25] Co-Worker asked me to be her man of honor. I said no and she went nuts. What did I miss? Now you may have heard other parts of this story before but there's new updates to this as well so as always timestamps are down in the description. This happened yesterday and I'm still confused. Yesterday was my first day back to work after being off for two weeks. This is kinda important.

[00:00:50] One of my co-workers had gotten engaged a week before I left. When she announced at work we all did the congratulations and happy for her type of things. I thought it was over. So when I left for vacation, the last I knew, no plans had yet been made. Then yesterday when I went back to work my boss Kim and best friend Laura said that co-worker Claire was looking for me. I asked what was up and they

[00:01:14] weren't sure but she was carrying a little gift bag. A few minutes later Claire found me and asked how my vacation was. I was telling them about it and she cut me off and said she had a very important question to ask. She handed a little gift bag and asked if I'd be her best man of honor for a wedding. I thanked her and told her that typically this would traditionally go to a close female relationship. She responded that there was nothing traditional about her wedding so it was good. I looked over

[00:01:43] at Laura and Kim who were both trying to keep from laughing. I again thanked her, congratulated her, and told her that I wasn't interested in being part of her wedding party and that I'd be happier being a guest in the audience. I swear when I said this it was when we watched her entire demeanor changed and a switch flipped. She went off saying that I have to be in a wedding and that she doesn't understand why I would say no. I told her that we only knew each other for a short time and that

[00:02:10] I had no interest in trying to plan parties, dinners, and shopping trips. She told me I needed to think about it and she would get back to me later. I told her to go for it but my answer will still be the same. She walked away and I looked at Kim and Laura and asked what the ever-loving fresh creepy hell was that. Kim started to laugh and said she didn't know. But saying no like I did might have saved me a lot of headaches in the future. Laura made the comment that she went straight to Bridezilla

[00:02:39] and this was a look into what she was going to be like. Claire came back today, however she went with a different approach and handed me a list of what she wants me to do and her vision of how she sees things. I asked her why she gave me this and she said that as a man of honor these were my responsibilities. I told her again that I was not going to do any of this. She started again that she needs me to do this and how much fun it was going to be. Then she asked, haven't you ever wanted to

[00:03:08] be part of something special? I told her I was. I was a nurse. Enter Kim who could sense that I needed help and told Claire one of her patients needed her help. I told Kim that if this keeps up I might need her help. She said she was already watching it and would intervene if I needed it. What did I miss? We aren't that close. She just transferred down to my unit from a different unit six months ago.

[00:03:33] I had no idea who she was until that point. Laura is saying that she is close in age to me and she might feel that to be enough of a connection. Did I miss something? When we are asked are we supposed to automatically gush and jump up and down in excitement? Why is saying no a bad thing? And look I've been trying to think of a reason rather than what Laura said that being close in age. Which you know possibly I guess? But it's a really strange one and I think you just need to be

[00:04:01] super firm with her and say that's just not happening. There's no way at all. Not even leaving the door a little bit open so she can try and edge her way in there. Just absolutely no not happening. A commenter said to OP, it seems Kim is useless here. You really need to go over Kim's head and nip this in the bud right now because Claire isn't taking no for an answer. OP says Kim will help. I know she will. She's just waiting to see what her next step is. I've had to have her help with a work

[00:04:31] issue before. If I have problems with her the next time we work together then I'll let Kim loose. Someone says could this be some weird way to flirt? OP says it won't work with me. I like dick lol and I have a boyfriend. A commenter says I'm not an expert but isn't this an HR issue now? I mean isn't that like harassment? OP says it becomes an issue if I report it. My boss is seeing

[00:04:56] all of it so far and has said that she is watching the situation and will intervene if it keeps going. I'm off tomorrow so I won't see her for a couple of days. Another commenter says she wants to show off how different and edgy she is by having a man of honor. She may also admire your organizing skills and get it done demeanor and thinks you'll throw her great wedding related parties. OP says I'm a bad gay guy friend. I'm organized when it comes to a lot of things but planning a wedding is something I've

[00:05:24] never done and really don't want to learn to do. If I were to ever get married it's midnight under a full moon at the beach with friends and a cookout the next day. Another commenter says okay this is gonna sound weird but since she's advertising that it's a non-traditional wedding is it possible she's after you for a specific reason? Are you gay or part of a racial minority? It's possible she wants her wedding to look super diverse for Instagram reasons and maybe she's after you

[00:05:52] for a specific vibe in the pictures regardless of the reason not the arsehole. OP says I don't know her background. Yes I'm gay and the entire department knows it because I was dating a former nurse and we broke up. Now I'm dating someone from a different department and it's all known. Or she said it was a less than traditional wedding and it would be okay. Yesterday K and L asked if I was

[00:06:16] afraid of something about it. Maybe if I had to wear a dress. I said I would fucking rock the dress. I might need a push-up to fill out the front of the dress if it's strapless lol but I just don't want anything to do with it. I have no interest. My life is crazy enough right now. Planning a wedding would go from crazy to insane. So OP came in with a first update and said hey everyone. First I apologize. I never thought this was going to go as crazy as it did. I want all of you to know I read

[00:06:45] all your responses and responded to as many as I was able to. Thank you for all your amazing insights. Many that made me laugh which I needed. I've been sick and that really helped cheer me up. I had to meet with my lawyer today regarding family issues. Laura took me. I really felt awful and driving wasn't a good idea. We were talking about this on the way and we were both asking a lot of the same questions that you were all asking. The big one was that we were asking about the

[00:07:13] circumstances of her transfer. She went from med surge 4w to er. That is a huge change. I have to work tomorrow so we will see what happens but Laura and I are going to ask him about the transfer and raise a couple of other concerns. After I got home from the meeting with my lawyer I slept for the rest of the day. Many of you asked about if Claire and I hang out outside of work. The answer is no.

[00:07:38] I really don't know anything about her. I've helped her a few times with patients and different things but our relationship is 100% purely work related. That was why I was so surprised that she asked me to do this. That is why I was so surprised that she asked me about being the man of honor. I have a very small friend base and in all honesty I like to keep it that way. I really have no interest in being a part of this. I am not a wedding person. After reading so many bridezilla stories and hearing about over

[00:08:07] the top weddings they have become a huge turn off to me. Spending tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars with insane unrealistic demands that turn people against each other. Why? I would rather use that money and spend that time planning my next trip or vacation. Many people said that I was being used as a token or prop in a wedding or a gay best friend. I never really thought about it. I admit that I'm out and proud but I'm not going to just pretend to be

[00:08:35] someone's friend just so they can fulfill some kind of fetish they have for wanting to have a gay best friend or some kind of status she feels the need to fulfill. It takes me a lot to get offended but if this were actually the case then I really would be rather offended. I was not put on the face of the earth to be someone's play toy. A lot of people have said that maybe she doesn't have a boyfriend. She does. She has brought him in before. If she has any insecurity I don't understand it.

[00:09:02] She's attractive, smart and knows her stuff. So I'm at a loss as to why she's acting like this. A lot of people say go to HR. I'm starting that process with my boss Kim. She's completely aware of the situation being with us when all this happened. She's told me she is watching the situation and will jump in if I need her to. I trust her completely. While Kim and HR can control

[00:09:27] the situation from the hospital they can't control the situation from a personal level if she were to maybe follow me home or a situation like that. So I think that covers it all. I wish I could say this is over but most likely there is more to come. Set your update me. Someone makes a comment about OP's username which is just an RN just a registered nurse and says about the name. You're

[00:09:51] not just an RN because there's nothing just about RNs or other nurses. You folks regardless of gender do the medical heavy lifting and when we can't get a straight answer from the also busy MDs the nurse provide the no shit information. OP says my name is kind of an ongoing running inside joke. I'm told at least once a day or so from a patient that I'm just a nurse. One day I heard it three times. I don't

[00:10:17] really take offense to this and in a joking way I repeated what the patient said and my boss Kim jumps my case about it. That's not the case at all. I love my job. It's a huge part of me and who I am. It's part of my identity. Now the commenter says I'm curious about her list of demands or responsibilities. Like did she really think you would change your mind now that you had all this BS work to do and money to spend. OP says it pretty much had me planning the whole thing. She wanted me to plan

[00:10:46] the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, coordinate dress shopping and fittings and make sure everyone was having fun with the whole thing. Just to name a few. A commenter says and quotes OP saying what the ever loving fresh creepy hell is this and then laughs. OP says I had no idea what the ever loving fresh creepy hell was from something. It's just something I have always said. And OP tagged on a mini update and says I'll be posting an update in a day or two. Things came to a head today and it's pretty much

[00:11:13] just as everyone was saying. I need to take some time to understand everything that happened today. I also have a meeting scheduled Monday with a director of nursing at my hospital which should bring closure. I hope. Oh lordy lord. A few days later OP comes in again and says this intro is going to be long but I'm telling you about this for a reason and later in this update it will make sense. I'm hoping this will be done and that this will be the last of this whole situation.

[00:11:40] I was born into a family where I was referred to as an issue that needed to be dealt with. I lived in the shadows of my sister who was the child my parents wanted. They wanted one child which was a girl. That way dad had his daddy girl and mum had mummy's little princess. Then I came along. Keep in mind that I'm 23 so back then my parents had options but chose to not use any of those options. So instead

[00:12:07] my parents raised my sister and I was raised by a nanny who even to this day is one of the biggest influences in my life. I'm so grateful for her. She helped me with so much. I finally realized that all these years later that by being referred to as an issue that needed to be dealt with that they stripped me of my humanity and individuality and self-worth as a person. I think that's why I've worked so hard to establish myself in my career and in my life as a way to become a person again

[00:12:36] and not just be that issue that needed to be dealt with. This past Thursday things came to a head with the bridezilla known as Claire and the truth came out. My best friend Laura has been sticking close to me when we worked together if Claire was to start something. We weren't sure if she was going to leave it alone or start up again. I was really hoping that it was done but she had to try once again. I've been

[00:13:01] sick and I had a busy morning so I really just wanted a few minutes to go to the bathroom, grab a quick snack and maybe breathe? Claire came up and had a list and asked if I had a few minutes to talk about the wedding planning. I looked at her and told her again that no I was not interested in being part of her wedding and that I was not going to help in any way and she needed to drop the subject and leave me alone. Again she went into the whole thing of how I was going to do this and how much fun it was going to be.

[00:13:29] Here we go with that line of all of you loved the first time. Why in the ever loving fresh creepy hell is it so important for me to be your man of honor? I'm not interested and I'm not doing it. It is exactly as pretty much all of you told me it would be. She was just planning on using me as a token or a play toy. She took all the fucked up gay stereotypes that are out in society and put them in one sentence. What modern liberal

[00:13:55] woman isn't going to have a gay bestie on her arm for special events? I felt everything in my stomach move and a wave of nausea come over me and I felt like I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough. This pissed Laura off to no end. Laura is really kind of like the overprotective sister that I wish I would have had and took Claire off to visit our boss Kim and laid it all out. Everything that was said, while I wasn't in on that conversation, Laura and Kim filled me in on what was said.

[00:14:24] Kim came to check on me and I was still hiding in the bathroom. She knocked on the door and asked if she could come in. I asked her for a bottle of water first. While I was waiting, I realized two things. I realized why I chose not to hang out with her and why I didn't like her. I couldn't figure out why I didn't like her, just that there was something that gave me the heebie-jeebies. But I realized that I didn't like her because she is a different version of my sister. While

[00:14:50] Claire is educated and employed, she doesn't care about other people and their feelings. She is like my sister in the sense that if she wants something bad enough, she will figure out how to get it. The second thing I realized was that she did exactly what my parents did to me. She completely dehumanized me and reduced me to an entity. Just kind of turned me into a token or a thing for her. I think the word that describes it is, I'm a play toy. What really gets me is that

[00:15:18] just like my sister, Claire doesn't think she did anything wrong. I'm being too sensitive and a delicate snowflake. The next day, an emergency meeting was held at work and Claire is being suspended pending investigation and a new transfer is being looked into. Kim made the request for her to be terminated. The director of emergency nursing said this was a last resort, but she was going to be looking into options, which could be sending her to a new hospital or facility. This didn't go

[00:15:47] over well with me. I asked what would happen if she did the exact same thing to someone different. She didn't really give me an answer, but she said she still needs to look into a few things and at this point, she is suspended. Anyway, here it is. I'm still pretty sick and had to work this weekend. If I can, I'll respond. I want to thank everyone for all the amazing support. I'm going back to my lawyer to see if he can figure out how to send her a cease and desist letter to make sure she doesn't

[00:16:13] contact me. I'm heading to bed. Have a good night. Edit. I keep forgetting to thank my boyfriend. He's been with me on this, but more in the background. First, when we were laughing about it, but when everything Thursday happened, he was there as well. L was able to get him away from his unit for a little bit for the it will be okay boyfriend hug. He stayed the night with me a couple of nights, as well as helping with me being sick. So yeah, I'm very lucky to have such great support.

[00:16:42] One of the top commenters to that update says, what if she targets a vulnerable gay patient next? She has a danger and liability for your employers to be sued. OP replied saying, thank you for this response. I just text Kim and asked her about this. She said she was trying to get her fired and she is hoping this will help the purpose. So sometime later, OP comes in with another update and says, hi everyone. First, I apologize for not

[00:17:07] responding sooner. I've always tried to do what I can to stay engaged with all of you and to respond as often as possible. Truth of the matter is that I hit a brick wall between everything with my parents being sick and then the bridezilla. I just kind of lost all my motivation to keep the conversation going. But I will say this. I read all your comments, every one of them, and there are not enough words in any language to say thank you for all the amazing support, feedback and suggestions. I'm truly grateful for everything all of you brought to the table.

[00:17:37] I went back to my lawyer the other day and told him everything. I told him I only had her name, but I did not have her address. And since he has resources that I don't, I wanted him to find her and send her a cease and desist letter to not contact me. He was looking into this. The good news, Claire has been terminated. While I'm not able to talk about all of the details, I can say that this goes a lot deeper than what she did to me. And after Kim did some digging,

[00:18:03] it brought out some information that could put our hospital in a serious position. When this information was brought out in the open, it gave the director of emergency nursing, DEN, no choice but to terminate her. And it could put the den in a serious position as well. Honestly, it has Kim, Laura and myself looking at potentially looking for new jobs if this doesn't get properly corrected. None of us want to change hospitals because then we'd have to all start off

[00:18:31] with seniority and benefits. It's a last resort, but it's still something to consider. I guess I can say that this is closed. At least I hope it is. I need to move on with my life. I doubt that Claire will be dumb enough to contact me. She is in enough trouble and this will only make it worse. Again, I apologize for not being able to keep up with responding back to all your comments. But again, I can assure you that I read all of them and value all of them as well. Thank you again for the amazing

[00:18:59] support. Top comment up from that with OP's reply says, can you give any further info about what you learned about her? Had she been moved as a result of something similar? Obviously you have to be vague, but she sounds wackadoodoo. Wackadoodoo. OP says, I honestly don't know much of her personal self, but some of the problems that we were having come to find out was things she was doing when it came

[00:19:24] to her job and what she was doing wrong. Then there was a downvoted comment which OP responded to. They said Kim, Laura or myself had nothing to do with getting Claire fired. Claire got herself fired. I'm not sure what I should put on here. So I'll say this much. The question was brought up with Claire's transfer. She went from med surge to ER. This never happens. The ER is such an intense experience that

[00:19:50] you have to start an ER at the beginning of your career. It's an eight week training program while still doing orientation. But that being said, going from ER to med surge happens often. So naturally, when someone comes from med surge, it raises some questions and eyebrows. So basically what was found out was that Claire in her own way committed assault towards a patient and falsified the patient's charts. The med surge director knew of this as did the DEN and it was swept under the rug. We're

[00:20:18] learning that she may have done this to a patient in the ER as well. I was asked to be in the wedding and had no interest in attending. I told her three times no in a polite manner, but she refused to take no for an answer. I finally forcefully told her no. Then she did what my parents have done to me my entire life. She reduced me to a play toy and referred to me as her token gay bestie. This is hardly the case. We never hung out at any time and I never wanted to have no kind of attachment to this

[00:20:47] woman. So when I say no, I'm saying no for a reason. Had she just accepted my responses, then most likely none of this would have ever happened. Quick warning before we get into this next little update, this next little bit of information from OP. If you have trypanophobia or fear of needles at all, you may want to skip this part. Totally up to you. You've been warned. So OP adds this bit of information. It says a 14 gauge needle IV catheter is the biggest that you can use. If they're ever

[00:21:16] used, it's mostly on EMS sites and if it's being used, it's usually for rapid infusion or the patient is shutting down and you need to get fluids in a hurry and can't get a vein with a standard size. Realistically, you should never have a reason to use a 14 gauge. And if you do, in my opinion, then you better have three other people with you to help you do this. I hope in my lifetime, I never have to use one. Also the HIPAA notice. It's one of the first things you learn at the

[00:21:45] beginning of nursing school or med school. Basically, HIPAA is keeping a patient's privacy. What you can do is talk about the case as long as you don't reveal any information regarding the patient's identity. Also, opening a patient's file that you have no reason to open is also a violation of HIPAA as well. These are serious offenses and could result in loss of license. With that being said, take this information and do with it what you will and form your own opinion.

[00:22:14] Commenter says to the OP, hypothetically, what would be a dumb ass reason to try and use one in a hospital setting. OP says, perhaps the nurse was having a bad day and the patient was needy or the nurse just didn't like the patient. A commenter says, I can't find the 14 G and HIPAA aspects of the story. A commenter says to OP, I can't find the 14 gauge and HIPAA aspects of the story. OP replied saying, people asking what she did to get transferred from EDGE to ER. Well,

[00:22:44] I'm not sure what to put on here. I put these details here for you to piece together what could have happened. So I'm guessing the implication there is that she used a bigger needle to harm a patient intentionally. Gee whiz, that is absolutely wild. I mean, sounds like she's already got HIPAA violations as well, harming patients and harassing other staff members. Gee whiz, I really hope that this person doesn't contact you because she sounds wild. And if

[00:23:12] she is, obviously I don't know because it's just an implication harming other people. She should not be dealing with people at all or just completely out of the profession, right? I think I told you guys recently when talking about needles here again, by the way, I've been having some stomach issues from some for some time. I've told you in a previous story about this, but, and I've had to get like several blood works done basically. And this one nurse, one time she had to put, try and put needle four or five times to try and get blood out of me. It was just like the worst thing. And the fourth or

[00:23:42] fifth time she did it, she wiggled it around. And I remember some of the comments on that last time I said this, she was like, nah, she shouldn't be wiggling it around. And soon as she wiggled it, I was like, I could feel myself boiling up and I just passed out. She stopped after that and had to come back a couple of weeks later because she couldn't find the vein. This next nurse though, just straight in, I didn't even feel it. And I was so anxious going into that one as well. I thought, oh no, this could be horrible. It was just like such a relief afterwards. Anyway, OP, I really do wish

[00:24:11] you all the best. I hope that Claire does leave you alone and, you know, just look after yourself because the level of behavior you've explained from her so far is pretty concerning. And you know, it's not a surprise if she goes further, right? But anyway, what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time always means the absolute

[00:24:39] world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.