An Old Friend Romantically Rejected Me, 2 Years Later She's Mad I Don't Want Her r/Relationships

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[00:00:41] Reddit Stories. If you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like,

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[00:00:50] And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:54] So today's first story comes from a throwaway confused bro who says

[00:01:00] amirong subreddit Am I wrong for rejecting a woman who once rejected me?

[00:01:06] I, male, mid-20s, spent most of my childhood and early adulthood focused on education.

[00:01:13] I'm not naturally gifted so I had to focus and work hard, as my parents encouraged me to.

[00:01:19] Things finally slowed down later during college and I found myself being more social.

[00:01:24] There was a girl, Nat, in my social circle whom I liked so I asked her out. She laughed when I did

[00:01:31] but she said it was just so unexpected and that's why she laughed. Still, it kinda stung. She

[00:01:37] declined and said she wasn't dating at the moment. Spoiler alert, she was definitely dating, just not

[00:01:44] me. But whatever, she said no and I moved on. I got a good job out of my hometown, partly based

[00:01:50] on my good school performance and connections through internship. Two of the guys from work,

[00:01:55] let's call them Tony and Steve, mid to late 30s hung out with me a lot and got me to come out

[00:02:00] of my shell more. They told me to start coming to the gym with them because they were tired of

[00:02:06] looking at my beanpole ass. I had a lot of fun and improved my body drastically. Now Tony and

[00:02:12] Steve were a couple so whenever we'd go out they'd be really good wingmen and really got me out of my

[00:02:18] shell. I'm still a bit awkward but much more comfortable in social situations now that I've

[00:02:24] got some experience. This happened over the course of like 2 years. I wound up asking my job to work

[00:02:30] remotely to be closer to my family, health and money issues back home not going to get into it,

[00:02:36] and got approved as long as I travel back to the office quarterly for important meetings and stuff.

[00:02:41] So now I'm back home again. I ran into Nat at the grocery store a few weeks ago.

[00:02:46] Turns out she's raising a kid on her own and generally doing well for herself. We ran into

[00:02:52] each other again at a mutual friends party. This is when she asked what I was going to ask her out

[00:02:57] again. I said the thought hadn't really crossed my mind and she seemed offended like why not?

[00:03:03] I said I'm not interested and thought that was that. I did kind of remove myself from

[00:03:08] the conversation quickly after that. Well apparently that wasn't okay to do.

[00:03:13] Nat came and found me again and demanded to know why I'm not interested because

[00:03:17] you were interested 2 years ago. I told her that was 2 whole years ago and she lied when

[00:03:23] she rejected me so I haven't thought of her in that way ever since. She said a normal person

[00:03:28] would be over that and then said it's because she's a single mum isn't it? I mean honestly

[00:03:34] I've no interest in dating single mothers because I'm literally now just dating around.

[00:03:39] I don't want to have to deal with all the stuff that comes with a situation like that.

[00:03:44] But more to the point, I'm not attracted to Nat anymore. I just simply don't see her that way.

[00:03:50] Am I crazy here? Like why are friends blowing me up because I don't want to date her?

[00:03:55] Tony and Steve are telling me that I don't owe her anything but some of my friends at home are

[00:03:59] telling me to at least give her a shot. I haven't really talked to my parents about it but my younger

[00:04:05] brother is saying I should try and my older sister is telling me to trust my gut. I just

[00:04:10] don't understand why or how this got to be such a big deal. After reading and replying to some of

[00:04:23] the overwhelming amount of comments on here, I spoke with my sister last night about what to do.

[00:04:29] I don't like the chaos of this situation. It's a lot of anxiety and I feel the need to resolve it.

[00:04:35] That end, after much consideration and my sister's agreement,

[00:04:38] I reached out to Nat this morning and asked her if she'd meet me for coffee tonight.

[00:04:43] I made it clear that this is not a date. It's just two friends trying to come to terms with

[00:04:48] each other because I don't like all the messages and comments from her friends.

[00:04:52] Nat accepted pretty quickly and said she'd like to clear the air about some things.

[00:04:56] The fact that she apologized for any craziness does give me some hope

[00:05:01] that our talk later will be productive. We'll update you all tomorrow if I can.

[00:05:05] I appreciate everyone's time and input.

[00:05:08] Edit Please no red pill theories in here.

[00:05:12] I don't like how adversarial that makes things and it's not how I view the world. My sister,

[00:05:17] my mother, my cousins, and many other people in my life are absolutely wonderful women.

[00:05:22] I don't like the disparagement so let's please keep things civil. This is not an indictment on

[00:05:27] an entire gender. So let's stop it please. I never understand how it gets to this point

[00:05:32] where you've got multiple people harassing you over this, getting in contact with you,

[00:05:36] saying why aren't you taking her up on that offer kind of thing.

[00:05:41] How does it actually happen? She asked him out and then he rejected her. So has she gone around

[00:05:46] to everyone and said I can't believe he's rejecting me after this? And what has she

[00:05:49] been saying in the background about it as well? Like if a mate, let's just put a hypothetical

[00:05:54] scenario out there, a mate at the pub come up to me and told me he just got rejected by a girl.

[00:05:58] The last thing I'm going to do is go up to her and go why not? Why aren't you,

[00:06:04] why won't you go out with my friend? It just seems bizarre.

[00:06:07] Even if it was a single parent, male, female, it doesn't matter. You know,

[00:06:12] if you don't want to get involved in that for that reason, I think that's okay too.

[00:06:15] It's a lot of responsibility. If things get serious down the road at some point,

[00:06:20] your lives are going to become intertwined and you're going to have a lot to do with

[00:06:23] that child at the same time. Again, which is a lot of responsibility, especially as you've

[00:06:28] changed over the last couple of years, you've grown in confidence and you're just finding

[00:06:33] yourself. So I just, for me, it's kind of just like live a little.

[00:06:38] But Darth says no way. There is literally no benefit to you dating a single mom as a

[00:06:42] guy with options, let alone one who was not interested when you were less successful.

[00:06:47] Opie says to be clear, the parenthood thing makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable, but

[00:06:51] in my mind that's less of a concern than the fact that I'm not attracted to her.

[00:06:56] I don't know if that's fair to say my successes are a factor. People always expected a lot out

[00:07:01] of me, and Nat is successful in her own right, I know that much. She's not a bad person.

[00:07:06] I'm just not interested. JSmith says you saying that you're not

[00:07:10] interested is enough. It's pretty pathetic that she is now harassing you and having other people

[00:07:16] harass you just because you don't want to date her. That would make me be more turned off towards

[00:07:20] her. Does she think arguing with you about why you won't date her and getting other people to

[00:07:25] message you over it would make you want her more or guilt you into dating her?

[00:07:30] Opie says I don't know what she's thinking really. I feel really awkward so I've been

[00:07:35] making myself scarce. I do feel kind of guilty. I'm not used to rejecting people.

[00:07:41] Magdalene says given that she laughed at you last time, why would you give her a chance now?

[00:07:47] Opie says she did say that she laughed because she didn't expect me to ask her out last time.

[00:07:52] I kind of believe that because I laugh when I'm nervous or surprised too.

[00:07:56] I just feel guilty. I don't like making people feel bad, and her friends are talking her up quite

[00:08:02] a bit. She does have a lot of really nice qualities about her but my gut is just telling me not to go

[00:08:07] for it. I'm uncomfortable any way I look. Sunyellow says you're not wrong. She lied

[00:08:13] to you when she rejected you. That's the only thing that matters. Opie says thank you. The

[00:08:18] lying does irk me. If she said she's not interested, that would have been fine. Then again, I do

[00:08:24] understand that sometimes women lie because they don't feel safe. I don't know that I necessarily

[00:08:29] blame her for it, but it also doesn't exactly make me feel good.

[00:08:34] So Opie did update their post and says hi everyone. Thank you to everyone who commented on my first

[00:08:39] post. This will be my last. Some of you got very angry very quickly and I wanted to clear a couple

[00:08:45] of things up before telling you how it went last night. I try not to attribute behavior to malice

[00:08:50] if there's a possibility it can be attributed to incompetence. I think the world would be a

[00:08:55] better place if we tried to do that a bit more and be a bit less antagonistic. I know I would

[00:09:01] appreciate the benefit of the doubt if and when I do something wrong so I try to do the same with

[00:09:06] Nat and her friends. Honestly, I'm glad I did. Nat has been in the periphery of my life for a long

[00:09:13] time. We weren't ever really close but being from the same town you get the general idea of who a

[00:09:18] person is over time. I was shocked at her behavior because I thought it was unlike her. Her friends

[00:09:24] reaching out to me surprised me and had me feeling anxious because I'm honestly not used to that much

[00:09:30] social attention all at once. The tone and the content was the attention notwithstanding.

[00:09:36] These are not inherently bad people. I believe they are just generally good people who are

[00:09:41] behaving poorly. Anyway, what you all really want to know. I met Nat for coffee, well tea at a local

[00:09:49] coffee shop last night. She showed up late after I did and said it was because of some child care

[00:09:55] stuff she had to take care of. It turned out that her son's father is very much in their lives,

[00:10:01] just as a co-parent. The reason she is single is because co-parents is really all they can be

[00:10:06] together. They did not work well as a couple at all. But from Nat's own admission, her son's father

[00:10:12] is a very good dad, dedicated, caring and supportive. I said to Nat that these last

[00:10:17] couple of weeks were very stressful for me because of her friends contacting me about her

[00:10:22] and that I'm sorry she was offended or hurt by my saying no. I'm not sorry for saying no.

[00:10:28] Nat stopped me and apologized herself. She said she didn't intend for any of that to happen,

[00:10:33] she just has some very loyal and passionate friends. She also said sorry for how she

[00:10:37] behaved at the party and gave me some very helpful context. Nat had just recently started dating

[00:10:43] again and has not been having much luck. She expected as much but she didn't expect people

[00:10:49] to be so uncaring about it. The last guy she met was quite cruel about her being used goods

[00:10:55] and harshly rejected her specifically for being a single mom. So that was fresh in her mind.

[00:11:02] Nat said she saw me and was attracted to me, not just physically but that I was less socially

[00:11:07] awkward and could somewhat hold a decent conversation now. So she was attracted to

[00:11:12] my growth. She said that she remembered that I was smart and caring but was very socially

[00:11:17] awkward when I had first asked her out. Nat was adamant that she did not mean to laugh.

[00:11:22] She was genuinely just surprised because she never suspected that I even thought of her in

[00:11:26] that way to begin with. I do believe her on this front. It turned out that she was trying to flirt

[00:11:32] with me at the party and when I rejected her, the negative emotions she had from the last rejection

[00:11:37] just took over and she reacted poorly. She said she complained to her friends and they took it

[00:11:42] upon themselves to try to grease the wheels. To Nat's credit, the messages have stopped since

[00:11:48] yesterday after I reached out to her and explained why I wanted to meet. In retrospect,

[00:11:53] I think I may have overreacted too. I believe this because looking at some of the messages

[00:11:58] from her friends more objectively, it looks like they were just advocating for us to be together

[00:12:03] rather than attacking me for saying no, if that makes sense. But all the attention felt like

[00:12:09] demands to me and I may have panicked a bit. So that's basically it everyone. I apologized,

[00:12:15] she apologized and it's a lot more mundane than I think some people may have expected.

[00:12:20] No, we're still not dating and we're both okay with that. Though we did agree that if the

[00:12:25] opportunity presents itself down the line and the timing is right, one of us may try, gently,

[00:12:30] approaching the idea again. I don't know if I ever expect that to happen but it's not entirely

[00:12:35] a bad thought. Just not a thought I would entertain for at least a few years from now.

[00:12:40] I like my life the way it is for now.

[00:13:43] That's uh1.com.

[00:13:48] Now before we go into the top comments on that bit, it just clicked in my head as I was reading

[00:13:53] it. Tony? Steve? Nat? It's the Avengers! But Lake Champion said you seem like a very nice guy.

[00:14:01] Actual nice, the good kind. I'm sure your anxiety about the situation played a role but

[00:14:06] under that seems a caring guy. With that said, stay away from Nat and her friends.

[00:14:10] She may not have intended the bum rush but the fact that her friends thought it appropriate

[00:14:15] is concerning. Listen to Tony and Steve, they have their heads screwed on right.

[00:14:20] Opie says thank you. Yeah I'm grateful to have my friends. I've been generally an anxious person

[00:14:24] most of my life so I can't sound too surprised at it having such an impact on me here and now.

[00:14:31] Next commenter says haven't read both bits of your story. I'm simply baffled

[00:14:34] why you're in any contact with her or her unbalanced friends. You want to be in high

[00:14:39] school forever. You did nothing wrong. She was unable to deal with her life so she's sick.

[00:14:44] Childish posse on you via the net. When an adult has a problem they deal with it themselves. No

[00:14:50] adult messages a third party who they should be dating. None of this was anyone's but your business

[00:14:56] and certainly not the group of harpies. This is childish and sad. Stand up for yourself. Tell her

[00:15:02] to never bother you again and move on with your life. The refrigerator replies to this and I don't

[00:15:08] know. It was someone he liked and respected for at some point in his life and he wanted to give

[00:15:13] her a chance to redeem herself as the person in his mind. Does she deserve it? I don't think that

[00:15:18] matters because he wanted to clear the air. Yeah, I don't think she or her friends are

[00:15:23] reasonable but sometimes being human is to be unreasonable. It doesn't sound like he's gonna

[00:15:28] date her or anything. Hoppy says thank you. I did want to settle the matter. If something feels

[00:15:34] unresolved it makes me very uncomfortable. I'm very glad that Nat was more agreeable this time

[00:15:39] and I appreciated learning the context of her life. I feel very badly for her that the last

[00:15:45] guy or two treated her so meanly. I can't fathom being that callous to another person.

[00:15:50] It doesn't make sense to me.

[00:16:10] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:16:16] And before we do get into this next story I do want to give you a couple of warnings. There is

[00:16:20] talk of alcoholism and addiction within the story so if you do want to skip the story please feel

[00:16:25] free to do so. Probably be the last one of the video just to warn you and let's crack on with it.

[00:16:30] This is from famsquadalid from the amithearsallhere subreddit and says

[00:16:35] My dad is upset I asked my brother to walk me down the aisle.

[00:16:39] So I 27f am arranging my wedding with my fiance. But first let me give you my life story. When I

[00:16:46] was little both of my parents were alcoholics. I lived in a very unsafe and unpleasant home

[00:16:52] until one night the police were called and CPS took me out of the house. But my wonderful

[00:16:57] older brother came to my rescue and took full custody of me. He was my protector and caregiver

[00:17:03] and worked his ass off to provide for me and afford therapy for me. I have very precious

[00:17:08] memories of snuggling him at night when my anxiety was acting up and he was reading

[00:17:12] parenting books in his free time. He was just overall a fantastic parent. I love him very much

[00:17:19] and he is a very special person. When I was 14 my parents were allowed to enter my life again

[00:17:25] and were very apologetic and made an effort to be a part of my life. In their defense they have

[00:17:30] been trying and have been genuine. My fiance and I were talking about who would walk me down the

[00:17:36] aisle and I told him I wanted my older brother to walk me down the aisle. I asked my older brother

[00:17:42] and he was honored and actually got a little emotional from how touched he was. Then recently

[00:17:47] my dad asked me if I wanted him to walk me down the aisle and I told him my brother was going to

[00:17:52] do it. He was taken aback and asked why. Then we got into a little bit of a scuffle and he seemed

[00:17:57] pretty upset and hurt I chose my brother. Was I wrong for choosing my brother?

[00:18:03] So some relevant comments with replies from the OP so the parents relationship with the brother.

[00:18:09] OP says my parents have a complicated relationship with my brother. For one they're thankful I had

[00:18:14] someone to take care of me but they also seem jealous that he got to be that person for me.

[00:18:18] More information on how the bio father has been in her life more recently.

[00:18:24] I'd say he's done a decent job of being a father for a grown up kid. He's given me financial advice

[00:18:30] and helped me out with college stuff and admittedly has been really helpful with that.

[00:18:35] However, he wasn't the one who taught me how to ride a bike or embarrassed me by cheering in the

[00:18:41] front row at my piano recitals or low key told me he was proud of me for punching a boy who tried to

[00:18:46] kiss me in first grade or as the above post says snuggled with me when I was having bad nights.

[00:18:52] Someone says define scuffle. OP says just an argument nothing physical.

[00:18:59] OP then replies to a commenter who says she should walk herself down the aisle because it's a

[00:19:07] misogynistic custom of someone owning you and OP just replies in oh shut up.

[00:19:14] Just seems like you're trying to start something commenting on something that the post isn't about.

[00:19:19] That's great you walked alone down the aisle but I have other plans.

[00:19:23] OP then responds to many comments calling OP's father a sperm donor and says can we

[00:19:29] stop with the comments calling him my sperm donor. I get the sentiment but like he's my father it's

[00:19:35] not a bad word. I don't really care to call him my dad but father is completely okay with me since

[00:19:40] it's true. More information on brother. He put his college career on hold and broke up with his

[00:19:46] at the time girlfriend to raise me. Information on what happened with the girlfriend. Yeah I know

[00:19:51] she stayed around in his life as a friend but they are both at peace about it. Also he's married

[00:19:57] and has a son right now my nephew so it all worked out. He's genuinely the nicest and most lovely

[00:20:03] person I've ever known and deserves nothing but the best. Someone says glad that the brother got

[00:20:08] his happy ending. OP says for years I felt so so horrible that I was allowed to have my 20s be on

[00:20:14] my own terms and filled with self-discovery whereas he spent his raising a child. It's not

[00:20:20] even like he got a girl pregnant he just had to clean up after our parents and take on that

[00:20:25] responsibility. The fact that he was able to continue his college career and get a job he

[00:20:29] loves and have a family softens the blow but damn I can't imagine not having these last few years

[00:20:35] of my life to myself. OP updates their post and says so two weeks ago I made a post about how my

[00:20:42] biological dad was very upset and hurt I asked my older brother to walk me down the aisle instead of

[00:20:47] him. There's a ton of context in my original post and I recommend you go back and read it.

[00:20:54] So last night he called me and asked if we could talk I reluctantly said yes but then he said he

[00:21:00] wanted me to know that he was sorry he reacted that way. He also said he thinks it's completely

[00:21:05] valid that my brother walked me down the aisle considering it's my wedding and he understands

[00:21:10] my relationship with my brother is different than my relationship with him and he was out of line

[00:21:14] for questioning that. Then he said if he hoped I could forgive him and if he was still invited to

[00:21:19] the wedding he would feel honored attending as a guest. I was kind of caught off guard and I wasn't

[00:21:24] expecting that but I told him I forgave him and he was still invited to the wedding he said that

[00:21:30] that made him happy. We then talked for a little bit about what's been going on in my life and it

[00:21:35] was kind of nice since he was clearly putting in an effort. So yeah not much to say aside that

[00:21:40] it's good he realized he was being an asshole and is at least trying to be decent but it's still

[00:21:46] good news. So one of the top comments said that dad was definitely out of line originally but this

[00:21:52] new context makes it even more like it was out of guilt of a failing as a parent than an end of

[00:21:58] entitlement. If he says yeah seems like he was projecting. Another commenter says you mentioned

[00:22:03] he was an alcoholic will there be an open bar at the wedding? Hope he says haven't gone that far yet.

[00:22:11] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation? Let me

[00:22:17] know your thoughts down in the comments below and just a huge thank you for being here today getting

[00:22:22] involved in the stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me

[00:22:27] so thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care

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