AITA For REFUSING To Eat My Girlfriend's Parents "Ethnic Food" r/Relationships

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey Waffle Gang I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you do love a Reddit story why not consider and I'll like subscribe maybe that notification bell too

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Unless crack on with today's first story much love guys now today's first story comes from a throwaway account

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: From the MI the arsehole subreddit and the relationship advice subreddit as well

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It says my the arsehole for refusing to eat my girlfriend's parents ethnic food

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_00]: fake names used olivia female 22 and i male 18 have been dating for about seven months

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: We met at uni as we're both doing a BA in primary education

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: She's in her second year, but we met through the course

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Olivia is Japanese her family has been in england for about eight years

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_00]: The whole family but especially Olivia are obsessed with english culture

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I joke that she is a britter boo

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Britter boo

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to excuse my ignorance here. This is the first time I've heard of a britter boo

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_00]: But apparently according to urban dictionary is an individual who does not come from great britain and obsesses with british culture

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Whilst being both ignorant and moronic usually a Sherlock fan and thinks tea is a godsend

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: OP continues which is honestly quite accurate. She cried when the queen died lol

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: On the wednesday just passed. I was invited to a meal with Olivia's family

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: This was a big deal

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: The first time I would meet them

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I've seen pictures and whatever but never met them

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She told me they're more relaxed now since moving to england, but they're still very traditional and honestly

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still not too sure what that means in japanese terms

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I know what it would mean if someone here said their parents were very traditional, but not for a japanese family

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00]: But anyway, I wanted to make a good impression

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So I told her to instruct me how to behave in the house and when meeting them

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Olivia said she was really excited for me to try her family's ethnic food

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_00]: That is how she described it and I was looking forward to it also

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward to the night. It was all going great

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: We sat down to eat and this is where things went wrong

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00]: When Olivia's mum brought out the food

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00]: It was udon noodles with chicken and a fried egg on top as well as what looked to be chicken kebabs

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: They called them something different, but I can't remember the name

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I instantly felt embarrassed. I looked over to Olivia who was smiling and signaling for me to eat it

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00]: This is where I think I fucked up because I just blurted out. I can't eat this

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I think overly bluntly and looked at the mum

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I thought there had been some mistake

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I was raised and still am vegan Olivia knows this

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I thought she would have communicated it to her parents Olivia looked embarrassed. I felt embarrassed

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00]: She was like just try it. Just try

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_00]: But I told her no, I can't eat it if it's meat

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Her parents seemed confused

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I explained that I was vegan and they were just like why didn't you say before we cooked?

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I just said I thought Olivia would have told you

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I just looked at her. I felt so embarrassed and she was still telling me to try because you've never had this type before

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I refused to eat it Olivia's mum went and brought me something else out

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00]: But she said had no meat the whole evening after that was incredibly awkward

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: After I left Olivia messaged me and we had a huge fight

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: She said how I embarrassed her by not even trying the food

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her I couldn't even try it if I wanted to I've never eaten meat or any animal products in my life

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00]: If I had eaten it then I would have gotten sick

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked why she didn't tell her parents I was vegan. She said she thought I would just break it for the one night

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: She said her mum was disappointed she had to waste all the food she had cooked for me because it was so expensive

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Now you've never met the parents before in your life

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_00]: This was your first time meeting them

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like this is on Olivia to tell him that you are vegan

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: She knew you was vegan why on earth wouldn't she tell her parents that?

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: And then expecting you to just take a break for one night from being a vegan

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00]: What the fuck but shiny baby cheetah says not the arsehole the title is a bit misleading

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't refuse to eat ethnic food. You refused to eat meat because you're a lifelong vegan

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Olivia is in the wrong here. She should have told her parents so they could make you a meal you could eat

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: It seems like Olivia wanted you to break your own convictions to make a good impression and that was wrong of her

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie responds saying I think I failed to express it well in the post

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: But Olivia made it seem like I refused to eat it because it was ethnic food

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Which wasn't the reason for me

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: It was because it was animal products

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Which makes no sense because I ate the food they gave me afterwards, which I hope had no animal products in

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Then net my side says

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I read the title thinking there's no way that opi is not the arsehole

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: But after reading you and not the arsehole if you ate eggs after not eating them ever not meat

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: You'd have a terrible night

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Way more embarrassing. You could have finessed your reaction. Maybe you did with sorry

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: This looks delicious, but I'm vegan and haven't eaten meat before

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm having a hard time not trying it, but I'm sure I get sick etc

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00]: This way the mum doesn't feel like you rejected their food

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: But sounds like she didn't and was understanding

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Also seems to me like your girlfriend an issue with you being vegan

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that this ploy would embarrass you enough to force you into changing your ways

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Very rude and manipulative in my opinion

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Wildflower says not the arsehole

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It's your girlfriend's fault and she needs to accept the blame for the lack of communication with her parents

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: She had no right to assume you would just break it for one night

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: That's not how true vegans do things and she's plenty old enough to know that

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: She also could have discussed it with you first and asked if you would try the food

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: That you could have said no before even going over there

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And before a mother spent time and money on the meal

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: You should be mad at her not the other way around

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_00]: And if her mum is disappointed over the waste of food, she should be disappointed in her daughter

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Archetyping 101 says not the arsehole, but Olivia is I'm asian and my partner is white

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I make it very clear to my parents what she won't eat before we even decide where to go

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I would Olivia not tell her parents

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I absolutely do not think it's okay to expect someone who's vegan vegetarian pescatarian etc

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: After change their diet for even one time because their partner wants them to

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't her call to make she should have given her parents a head up instead

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She made it out like you were the issue and that this was your fault

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Nope, this was Olivia's fault

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_00]: So this is when op move to the relationship advice subreddit with a post title to my male ATT

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: GFFfemale22 is still mad at me for something that happened six weeks ago

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Is the relationship over? I don't know where to go from here

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: About six weeks ago, I had my first dinner with Olivia's family

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Which turned into a disaster because of Olivia didn't tell her parents that I was vegan

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: When they served meat dishes, I refused to eat them

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Which made Olivia really upset and apparently made her parents angry at me

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Since then things have been rough between us

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: We talked things through initially but the tension has stuck around

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I had several arguments about respect and communication

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Olivia thinks I should have been more flexible for one night

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I feel my dietary choices are a core part of who I am and should be respected

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I try to smooth things over but every time I'm around her family

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm walking on eggshells

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Things have gotten worse between Olivia and me

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00]: She has been increasingly critical of my vegan lifestyle

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Making comments about how inconvenient it is and how it complicates things

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Previously she was incredibly supportive

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Would look up what vegan options were at restaurants before we went for example

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I've told her how important it is for me but she doesn't seem to care anymore

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Everything came to a head one last week

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: We were planning a weekend trip and I asked that we looked for somewhere with good vegan options

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And she went mad at me

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Why do we always have to cater to your diet?

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Why can't we go somewhere I enjoy?

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her to go where she wanted but if I couldn't eat anything I wouldn't join her

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: She could take her friends or whatever, I didn't care

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: She said that I'm being too rigid and that I should be more willing to adapt

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm starting to feel like Olivia wants me to change who I am to fit better into her world

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00]: She keeps suggesting that I try to be more normal and flexible

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think my choices are abnormal or unreasonable

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_00]: The strain is affecting our relationship and I'm beginning to question if we're truly compatible

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I really love Olivia

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And I want things to work out but I don't know how

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Are we just too different?

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_00]: How do I get her to understand what she knew before?

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Couple of comments from the top on that one

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_00]: One says Olivia is at fault

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_00]: She should have told her parents

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_00]: She needs to tell her parents not to be angry at you

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00]: She has a lot of apologizing to do

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I agree with you going somewhere she wants to go

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00]: You should still be able to find something on the menu

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I don't see this getting resolved

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Move on

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Old willingness says

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You want her to adapt to your ways

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Go to your restaurants but you won't go to hers

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_00]: You're selfish

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Now our next story comes from the MI the arseal here

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Subreddit from Cinfluence2559

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And says MI the arseal here

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_00]: For suggesting a threesome who brought a friend along

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And expected MI to pay

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been talking to Denise for a couple of weeks

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And our schedules finally aligned last weekend

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I said we should get food and see where it goes

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't want me to pick her up so we arranged to meet up

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I got there early and had a beer while I waited

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00]: When she showed up, she had a friend along

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I thought maybe that was a ride

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Or she wanted someone to meet me in case things got sketchy

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Nope, that girl sat with us at the restaurant

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_00]: She ordered drinks and a meal

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_00]: She was cool and I enjoyed talking to her almost as much as with Denise

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00]: When the bill came, the waitress asked how we were paying

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I asked for a couple of seconds

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00]: The waitress left and I asked Denise what was going on

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00]: She said that her friend was along to make sure I was a good guy

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And that I should be paying for her too

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I said that I had only asked her out and not the friend

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_00]: And that I would not be paying for her

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Denise said that I should be trying to impress her

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And I was failing

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I saw what was going on and decided to bounce

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I said that I would pay for supper if a threesome was on the table

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Denise and her friend got offended and said that I was a pig

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00]: When the waitress came back, I paid for my meals and drinks

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I almost made sure to give her a cash tip and explained that it was a tip

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And not to be applied to the rest of the bill

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Then I got up and left

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Denise texted and called me a dozen names

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_00]: To insult me and called me cheap

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I may have been vulgar but I don't think I was in the wrong

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_00]: But on the back of this one, Les then asked Soap here

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_00]: They said I can't help but be curious

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_00]: What if they did say yes to a threesome?

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says probably freaked out

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Next commenter says

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: But you would have paid right?

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says yes

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00]: No lavishness says I like the cut of your jib

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Nervous, confused, maybe a little nauseous

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_00]: But still willing to give it a go

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Now the commenter says not the arse on

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not one for hookups since I am old and ugly but if I was getting together seems to be when you hook up

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_00]: If she brought another girl along for you to pay for it, it wasn't unreasonable

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_00]: But you weren't doing it as a real suggestion

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00]: You were doing it the fuck with them

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says it wasn't a serious suggestion

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I would not know how to handle two women at once

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I am not that guy

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Independent treat says

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, even as a woman, I'm upset about her and her friend's behavior

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand the friend coming to check you out

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Even her sitting at the bar or a different table to check you out and for safety

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_00]: But to sit at the table with you two feels weird

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Then for them both to expect you to pick up the whole tab is ridiculous

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I honestly giggled at the way you handled it

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_00]: With the joke about the threesome because it shows how ridiculous their expectations were

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Could also allowed for a decent getaway

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Blocker can be done with it

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Not the arse on

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I always love it when people expect

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Expect you to pick up a tab like that and then like when you refuse and they text you calling

[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_00]: You cheap and you're like, you're bloody cheeky so and so

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, Opie updated the post and says

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I ran into Denise's friend while I was out with my dog about a week ago

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I prepared myself for a verbal assault after our last encounter

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, she apologized

[00:12:44] [SPEAKER_00]: She said that it had been Denise's idea for her to come along

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And she'd been surprised when Denise expected me to pay the full bill

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_00]: She said that she had thought I was a toxic arsehole for suggesting a threesome

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_00]: But that she had seen the story on TikTok and recognized that it was my point of view

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_00]: She tracked down the post on Reddit and the comments stung

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But they had been fair

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00]: She said she had enjoyed talking to me

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And offered to take me out for supper, her treat to make up for the last time

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I declined but I offered to let me buy a coffee at the dog friendly cafe by the park

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I had a really great time and she's the sort of person I was looking for when I had asked out Denise

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I got her information and we've been talking for a week now

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_00]: We're going out to see twisters on Friday, my treat

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: So something good came out of it

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks all and wish me luck

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00]: All I can say is you know when Denise finds out about this it's gonna fucking kick off, mate

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_00]: But no lavishness says I did not see that coming

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope the movie date goes well

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Good luck

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_00]: First acknowledge says the date will be great, good luck

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Cartman says as long as Denise doesn't show up

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Foreign says update us when Denise finds out

[00:13:58] [SPEAKER_00]: LankyTertle says can you imagine they become an item and when Denise confronts them

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie is just like you were right it was great to have a friend there

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't look good in front of either of us and walks away

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Then the comment says plot twist

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_00]: You're just playing the long long game

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And you totally need to bring one of your bros to your date with her

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says no

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Like I said last time my sex life is as vanilla as you could imagine

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_00]: My wordy wordy you just know if that ever wow it will come out at some point in this Denise and her are friends but

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_00]: When she does find out

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Deary me what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And let's move on to another story

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I saw this one on the mi the arsehole subreddit

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_00]: No update is yet

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_00]: But I thought it was an interesting title firm language five six four three says

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm I the arsehole for telling my friend that she isn't traumatized from somebody else's proposal

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I 20 female had three close friends in college

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Grace 21 female matt 21 male and laura 21 female

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Laura really likes using mental health terminology

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: She explores a lot of labels from those therapist influences online

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_00]: She was told that she has an anxiety disorder and depression, but that's the only diagnosis that she's been given so far

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Recently she's been exploring autism and ADHD

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Matt wanted to propose to grace

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_00]: They've been dating for a while

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_00]: He's been planning the proposal for a couple of weeks and while the proposal was very intimate between the two of them

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I was very involved in scheduling the after-proposal event at a restaurant

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_00]: The specifics of that are irrelevant to the story, but it was lovely and grace and matt seemed really happy

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Laura told us that she didn't want to be involved in planning the proposal because it reminded her of her parents divorce

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00]: She said that she might come to the post-engagement party

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But come the day of the engagement and both matt and I forget to check in on laura

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it's matt's fault at all because he was occupied with far more important things

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_00]: But I feel a bit guilty about not reminding her

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_00]: She ended up not coming to the party

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_00]: The next day she starts posting online some dramatic for the lack of a better word

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Things about how was traumatizing to see how little her friends cared about her

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And that she'd be updating her followers on a trauma therapy journey

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_00]: She posts that she's now in a really dark place and she thinks she has PTSD

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_00]: For context, I'm pretty sensitive to mentions of trauma and PTSD because I was diagnosed with PTSD by a

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00]: psychologist in my last year of high school after something that happened in my first

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I've had a lot of guilt and shame around this because I spent a lot of time feeling that the thing that happened wasn't bad enough to count

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I sometimes still get nightmares and flashbacks, but it's gotten better after therapy

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I know that I have my own issues wrapped up regarding the word and it bothers me a lot when people seem to throw the terms around without

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00]: understanding their weight, but they also acknowledge that I can't stop the internet from doing its thing

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't told any of my college friends about this. So Laura doesn't know

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_00]: At one point she called me and started explaining how traumatized she is

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And I finally snapped and said you were not traumatized stop being dramatic

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_00]: You just got exactly what you asked for now

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel guilty because I feel like it was a little harsh

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And she's posting online without my name at least that one friend that she thought she could rely on to support her

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Is abusive and doesn't understand how being traumatized works

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_00]: However, I feel like honestly Laura's being very dramatic about an event. That's not about her

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I called my mom to see what her opinion is and she told me that I could have reminded Laura about the party

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And while my point is not necessarily wrong, I could have been more sensitive

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Now i'm not sure how wrong I am

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_00]: In the comments didn't like the fault names as not the asshole

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I cannot stand people who throw around psychological terminology with actual meanings to describe just their normal feelings

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This person is absolutely creating their own drama and you want no part of it

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says thank you that's kind of how I feel about it like all of us will be tired overwhelmed whatever

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_00]: But Laura has anxiety burnouts and fancy a term to describe the same thing

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't like replies to that again, so I find it manipulative and also very self-grandizing

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't get nervous. She has an anxiety disorder or whatever she's saying

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_00]: People who do that without actually going to the doctor and getting diagnosed are just trying to justify their behavior

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And do tremendous disservice for actual mental health

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Adventures of violet says why would anyone need to check on the day of someone else's proposal?

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She said she might come to the after party. It's on her to decide if she'll come

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie, this is a friend who is going to require far too much attention when it comes to little things

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Making everyone miserable do not apologize keep your distance and re-examine what kind of friendship you want

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Hooker says not the asshole your friend follows therapist influences and then diagnoses herself

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00]: This is absolute nonsense and does not warrant a minute of your time of thought

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_00]: She can post whatever she likes online

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_00]: You'd be better off ignoring her since after a little while everyone will forget what she posted anyway

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_00]: There are so many individuals out there who are truly struggling every day with their mental health

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And are desperately trying to manage yet another day in the face of incredible difficulties

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: One final comment from equivalent to who says not the asshole. How would you otherwise check in on laura?

[00:19:33] [SPEAKER_00]: You checking on her every day. You let her know when the party slash restaurant bit would be she said she might not come

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, fine. Does she want you to convince her to come?

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_00]: The celebration is not about laura. She was invited. She can manage your own calendar

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You are not a mental health professional nor are you laura's mental health care provider

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: If she needed support and did not ask you aren't psychic to know

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Laura sounds a bit passive aggressive. Please stop feeling guilty. You did nothing wrong

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_00]: If laura is so convinced you're abusive because you didn't check on her and then called her on your bs

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Book her into the school's counseling center for a few appointments

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Your mother is wrong. She sounds like she is the don't rock the boat type of thinking

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_00]: You had zero indication that laura would forget the party

[00:20:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Nor did you know what laura expected of you because she waited until you didn't do what she wanted

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Make a big deal over her. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this?

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me

[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love