A Guest Severely Hurt My Husband At A Wedding r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] Now today's first story comes from Nightmare Wedding. It was posted across two accounts, so it also was posted from A Dark Stormy Night. And it says, suing for medical expenses after disaster wedding. And there is some trigger warnings on the story of severe injury, broken bones and possible assault as well. So if you don't want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:00:44] It says, relevant background information. My husband has a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta, which makes his bones very fragile and susceptible to fractures. He uses a wheelchair because his bones are too weak to support his body weight. This past weekend, we attended a friend's wedding. There was a, again, relevant info, a fairly heavy young woman at our table who was drinking heavily and was flirting very aggressively with my husband throughout the evening.

[00:01:13] I found out later that she's a cousin of the bride. He was very polite, but eventually started rebuffing her with decreasingly gentle hints and told her that he was gay and that his husband was sitting right next to him. A bit later, some tables were cleared and dancing began, which led us to believe that we were off the hook.

[00:01:32] A woman who had been bothering us was dancing with another guy. So we sat at the edge of the improvised dance floor and watched. After a while, however, she had disentangled from her dance partner and was dancing near us with a couple of female friends. Right as her song was ending, she leaned backwards in an attempt to flourish of sorts and tripped and ended up right in my husband's lap.

[00:01:56] As I mentioned earlier, his bones are not up to supporting a up to 200 pound weight suddenly dropping on him and she ended up breaking both of his femurs and one of his ribs. It was a disaster. We had to call an ambulance. He needed surgery on his right leg. He had to stay in the hospital for four nights and he's going to be stuck in bed for a good long while. We do have decent health insurance, but it's looking like we can expect to pay up to 3,000 out of pocket for the health care he received.

[00:02:26] Honestly, we don't have that kind of money lying around. Our friend who got married has been in touch and was extremely apologetic about the situation. He and his new wife were absolutely not at fault and I'd like to drag them through the mud as little as possible. I am, however, wondering if it is possible to sue the cousin at fault for the medical bills we now owe.

[00:02:47] After an evening of aggressive flirting, I frankly don't believe that she came over to us and then happened to fall exactly in my husband's lap purely by accident. But I don't have any proof that it was intentional. I'm certain that she didn't have any malicious intent and that she had no idea that she was going to hurt him so badly by plopping herself on him the way she did. Even if it was purely a drunken stumble, does she bear any liability for the injuries she caused, even if they were unintentional?

[00:03:16] Neither of us have contacted her at all since the wedding. We'd never met beforehand and I don't quite know how to casually ask a stranger for thousands of dollars. Based on her behavior at the wedding, the actions above, plus the fact that she peaced out as soon as it became apparent that she'd really hurt my husband, and she didn't get in touch again. I suspect that she's not going to be super willing to pitch in for medical expenses. Do we have any kind of case against her? Is it worth hiring a lawyer?

[00:03:44] Or is it just going to add to a pit of debt that the wedding has put us into? Now, I'm not going to touch on the legal stuff because I know absolutely nothing about it, but for me, obviously she needs to be held accountable. And being drunk doesn't excuse her actions. She chose to get drunk and she chose to target your husband. And I think that, you know, the severity of his injuries and her immediate flight from the scene actually strengthens your case in this.

[00:04:12] As in, she knew she had done something wrong. So again, I feel like you should pursue it. But again, I don't know much about legal stuff, so I'm sure the comments will clear that up. But Freckled Kit Kat says, Most wedding venues will require the purchase of wedding insurance, which could cover the cost of injuries to guests. I would ask the bride and groom to see if they have a policy and if it would cover injuries. If there is coverage, then the insurance company may either cover the medical expenses or the attorney fees to sue the cousin.

[00:04:39] Hopi says that's a great point and not something I'd thought of. I'll ask the groom about it, but probably won't get a definitive answer until they get back from the honeymoon after the new year. Kazcoco says, You can also ask the venue if they require the insurance, then you get the quick answer. With the venue my wedding was held at, we couldn't finalize everything until I had the insurance purchased and sent them a copy. This way you at least know if the bride and groom should have it.

[00:05:06] And the editor of this post actually added the eggshell rule because it's going to come up in a second. They said, The eggshell rule, also thin skin rule, paper mache plantive rule, or talum qualum rule, pronunciation there, is well established legal doctrine in common law, used in some taught law systems. Two, with a similar doctrine applicable to criminal law.

[00:05:29] The rule states that, in a tall case, the unexpected frailty of the injured person is not a valid defense to the seriousness of any injury caused to them. I.e. basically the fact she didn't know he had brittle bones isn't a defense for the woman who broke them. She still broke them. Hopi says, Thanks, this is useful to know. I do think it'd be really hard to prove that she did it intentionally. Since the whole thing was set up to look like an accident from the start.

[00:05:56] And who knows, maybe she really did trip and just happened to land directly on him. A principle of law called eggshell plaintiff. Sorry. Lol, I might have a new nickname for him. Boopadoop says, If she did it on purpose, that's battery. If she did it on accident, that's negligence. Both are equally valid things to sue for. In fact, you could possibly sue on both theories at the same time. It might change your strategy. But something based on an accident doesn't mean it's not her fault.

[00:06:25] But mandatory disclaimer, I am a lawyer. But I'm not a personal injury lawyer. A MN lawyer. Or your lawyer. And this is just me spitballing. Not giving you advice. So, Opie came in with her first update and said, I just wanted to post to provide an update to my previous post here. And then shares a link. First off, thank you to everyone providing really helpful input. My husband and I had pretty much just planned to pay the bills ourselves until we read through everyone's comments.

[00:06:55] My husband got in touch with a personal injury lawyer shortly after I made the original post. And he said that she echoed a lot of the advice we saw on here. Shout out to LawGeek for introducing me to the term eggshell plaintiff. Which was apparently the phrase of the hour when they talked. She said that he would almost certainly win a case against the drunk cousin. Possibly for quite a substantial payout once lost wages and pain and suffering were taken into account.

[00:07:22] She added however that recovery could be a real issue. And the suit might not be worth pursuing if we didn't think the cousin would actually pay up. She said that he could also have a case under Minnesota's dram shop law against the bride and groom. Or more likely, the bartending service they hired. They did likely get a much smaller settlement because of comparative fault laws. I got the name of the bartending service and they definitely have liquor liability coverage.

[00:07:50] I learned from the groom that the cousin is a bit of a train wreck in terms of fiscal responsibility. And that she's quite unlikely to be willing or able to pay any kind of settlement. So for now, my husband's lawyer is helping him figure out how to bring a case against the bartenders. As I mentioned, it's unlikely we'll get the full settlement. Especially if he settles out of court. Which I think he'd likely do if possible. But that's completely fine because the numbers she was citing were crazy high once pain and suffering etc were brought into play.

[00:08:20] Even quite a small fraction, if we're able to recover it, would help a lot. As an aside, the drunk cousin apparently found out that we're considering suing her. Because she found my husband on Facebook and sent him a rather incoherent message about the whole situation wasn't her fault. Because she couldn't have known he had osteogenesis imperfecta. And in fact was his fault for not telling her. I guess she thinks he should just wear a sign at all times that says, I have brittle bones, please do not sit on me.

[00:08:48] I thought he should reply, eggshell plaintiff bitch. But maturity won out at the end of the day and he didn't respond at all. Otherwise his fractures are healing well. Which is a huge relief. And he's a lot more comfortable than he was the last time I posted. It's a little bit of a bummer that the cousin isn't going to be held accountable for our actions. But at least it's looking likely that we won't be on the hook for the bills we have to pay. Thanks again for the help LA. So some people were asking the OP questions.

[00:09:17] Someone said, is the lawyer aware of the Facebook messages? OP says, yes, my husband brought it up the last time they spoke. This is second hand. I didn't speak to her myself. So I might be mixing up some details. But my impression is that it doesn't matter all that much. Whether or not it was intentional. He had a valid tort against her. If it was unintentional, it would be negligence. If it's intentional, it would be something else. If he decided to sue her, it would probably be a relevant piece of evidence.

[00:09:46] But it still doesn't solve the problem that she's very unlikely to pay whatever the court decides she owes him. Someone says, is the cousin telling the truth about not being able to pay the judgment? OP says, I don't have any proof beyond what the groom said. But he's a very close friend and I really don't think he'd lie about it. Also, he and the bride did offer to cover half of my husband's medical expenses themselves. Which was very kind, but we didn't feel comfortable accepting. Especially after they just spent most of their savings on their wedding and honeymoon.

[00:10:16] The cousin herself doesn't have any assets beyond her car. Which I can't imagine is worth much. I believe her parents are middle class slash lower middle class. So there's a good chance they'd just end up paying whatever they could from their retirement savings or something. But that also seems pretty shitty and unfair. Someone says, can one of the insured parties sue the cousin? Someone says, due to comparative fault laws in Minnesota. I think the answer is no. If we sued the bartenders and the court found them liable.

[00:10:45] They'd only have to pay the percent of the total damages they're liable for. So if they were 20% responsible and the cousin was 80% responsible. They'd only have to pay the 20% of total damages. So then OP comes in with their final update and says, Long story short, we didn't end up suing anyone.

[00:11:11] The woman who was responsible was unlikely to be willing or able to pay for any real damages. And Minnesota apparently has fairly strict wage garnishment laws. Which would prevent us from recouping even legal costs for the foreseeable future. We did also look into suing the company that provided bartending services for that wedding. But ultimately dropped that as well for two reasons. Firstly, there's a good chance that we'd lose the case. And would be out legal costs as well as medical expenses.

[00:11:39] And secondly, it seemed that even if we did win. Someone who really wasn't to blame would likely be fired. There is good news though. As someone suggested on the original thread. The couple did have wedding insurance that covered up to $5,000 in expenses for injuries to guess. Which did not require establishing fault. So we're actually able to get pretty much everything paid for. Without going through the hassle of a lawsuit. It definitely wasn't the kind of payout that a personal injury suit can bring.

[00:12:08] But we hadn't really been looking to profit from the whole situation anyway. So it turned out fine. Other than the highly unpleasant individual who caused the whole situation. Everyone involved has been really wonderful. My husband is called the hospital's billing department. And they were very accommodating about deferring payment and reducing costs that they had control over. Intimate knowledge of the hospital's inner workings is one of the major perks of osteogenesis imperfecta.

[00:12:34] Along with the punch card that gets you your 10th surgery free. Also the lawyer didn't end up charging us for anything. Despite the fact that she spent 3 hours meeting with my husband. And presumably some extra billable time on top of that. The bride and groom have also been very helpful with the insurance and legal information. And gracious about their wedding reception going south in such a spectacular manner. I do really wish that there had been some kind of consequences for the cousin beyond public shaming.

[00:13:02] But I'll have to hope that every one of her Starbucks orders is slightly wrong for the rest of her life. I'm super glad OP was able to recoup that money in the end. For something that was no fault of their own. And after what that husband has been through as well. An awful individual to up and run. And sounds like they didn't get into contact with OP at all after what they had done. Absolutely disgraceful person. But that was a part of that last update that threw me. And I couldn't work out if OP was joking or not.

[00:13:32] But they said about you know having the major perks of it. Along with a punch card that gets you your 10th surgery free. And I was like is that OP just being sarcastic or not? You're going to have to let me know on that one. Because you know I've heard some absolute horror stories. But that just felt absolutely wild. But let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from Dream Girl Sweet.

[00:14:02] Who says Am I the Arsehole for telling my brother I'm not babysitting his kids anymore. After they ruined my New Year's plans. Whenever my brother 27 male needs help. I take care of his two kids. Four female and six male. Even though I love my niece and nephew. New Year's Eve was the last blow for me. My brother and his wife asked me to watch their kids. While they went to a fancy New Year's party. Friends begged me to go with them. Even though I already had plans with other people.

[00:14:32] They said they couldn't find anyone else. It was even an offer to pay me twice what I normally get. So I reluctantly agreed. They were supposed to come back at 1am. So I could still hang out with my friends late at night. However they did not show up at midnight. I text, called and even tried calling the party location. But no one answered. They finally got in around 4am. And it was clear they were drunk. They pretended it wasn't a big deal.

[00:15:01] My brother laughed when I told him how upset I was. And they had left me all night and said. You didn't have anything important going on anyway. That hurt a lot. I told them they could no longer have me watch. If they couldn't respect my plans or time. It's making my brother mad. And says I'm being too tough. Am I the arsehole? Because I wouldn't watch after this. Absolutely not the arsehole in this one. And you said it best yourself. They didn't respect your time. And it's as simple as that.

[00:15:32] And now they're being completely dismissive of it. It would have been one thing if they come back and apologised. You know, you'd still not be the arsehole. They're still shitty for doing it. But it's one thing if they apologised. But they chose to be dismissive after the fact as well. Yeah. Don't watch the kids again. It's not on you. But quite patient says. Not the arsehole at all. You made plans with friends before you had to change them to help your brother out. It sounds like they take advantage of you always being there for them. This is a wake up call people need.

[00:16:01] Your time is valuable. If they can't respect that, then they need to find other accommodations. Plainwoodpecker843 says not the arsehole. They lied to you about when they would get back. Knowing that you would miss your plans and wouldn't help if you knew. They clearly don't respect you or your plans. And one more from Sue who says not the arsehole. Not only are they disrespectfully your boundaries. They're dismissive of you. Take you for granted. And feel entitled to dump their kids on you.

[00:16:31] Stick to your guns and say no more. Speaking of New Year's. As I was driving back from a family break today. As I heard on the radio. They were talking about like disastrous New Year's plans. And ruining it for others. And this guy was telling his story about how he spilled his pint on top of the DJ decks. Just as it was coming up to midnight. And it completely cut out the music and everything and all the audio. So he ruined it for everyone. I was like gee bloody whiz. But what about you guys?

[00:17:00] Did you have any disastrous stories from New Year's? Let us know your thoughts. And let's move on to one more story. From NextGuava3480. And says would I be the arsehole. If I don't include my wife on a trip I planned for my friend. I-30 male had been friends with A. 29 female since we were 15 or 16 years old. When we were still teenagers. A picked up smoking from her friends. She didn't do it much. And she said she knew the risks and wanted to stop.

[00:17:30] As encouragement to get her to quit. I made a deal with her. We both share a love of cars and motorsports. So the deal was that if she never picked up a cigarette again. I'd fly us out to get grandstand tickets for a favorite F1 race. Obviously once we're older and not broke teenagers. Admittedly 16 year old me did not take all the costs into consideration. But I still wanted to uphold my end of the deal. A and I have always had a sibling like relationship. My wife knows that.

[00:18:00] Nothing has ever happened between us. And A even helped to set me up with my now wife. 30 female. And was a groomswoman at the wedding. This year the time finally came when I had the money. Time and circumstances for this trip. My wife has always known about this deal I have with A. Since we met 9 years ago. She never had a problem with it. And even found it wholesome. In her words. Her and A have a good relationship. And they aren't best friends or anything. But they get along quite well.

[00:18:30] Anyway. In September I booked the tickets to the race. As well as flights. And the trip is going to be around A's birthday next year. I'd always thought it was known that the trip was going to be just me and A. As per the deal we made ages ago. And when I was booking the tickets in September. I mentioned this. And my wife had zero problems with it. And a couple of days ago. My wife mentions how she's excited for the trip. And I gently let her know that I only have booked two tickets for the race and flights. She was upset about this.

[00:19:00] And I was really confused. Because I thought I'd made it clear that this trip was for A. And it would just be us two. She asked me if I could add another ticket to the race. But it's all sold out. So I can't really. And then she asked if I could add another plane ticket anyway. And I'm not inclined to do that as. And I know it sounds childish. But this was a me and A thing since we made the deal. My wife has seemed really upset about this. And is barely talking to me. And the one time we have seen A since then.

[00:19:30] She was very cold towards her. I don't know if she trusts me. Or if it's because of some insecurity. Would I be the asshole here. If I don't include my wife. Lady Poe says to the AOP. Have you ever taken your wife on an expensive trip like this before? Not including your honeymoon. If you even did a trip for it. I'm asking because the way the post sounds. It seems like this is the first time you've had enough money to go on vacation. And you used it to fund a trip with a friend.

[00:19:59] Doesn't even include your wife. You're the asshole anyways. But if that's the case. It's even worse. Here for the T92 says. My dude. You're the asshole. You don't even sound remorseful in your edits to be honest. We'll cover those in a second by the way. You sound like you've been guilted. And peer pressured by strangers on Reddit to invite your wife. And still don't even understand what's wrong with what you did. Which makes this worse. Just the fact that you said you'd always thought it was known. About the trip just being for you and your friend.

[00:20:29] Clearly tells me you did not communicate all the details of your trip to your wife. And only assumed she filled in the gaps herself. With your current attitude you'll just be resenting her the entire trip. She'd be feeling terrible from your resentment. And everyone would just have a bad time. Not to mention the amount of damage this would cause to your marriage. Advice from one married man to another. One. Do not invalidate her feelings. She's feeling this way for a reason. And only good communication will help you and your wife work through it. Two.

[00:20:59] If you ever go on a trip with other people without your wife. Make that distinctly clear. None of this BS like oh I communicated this clearly. By saying it's a deal made between me and A since we were 16. And it should have been implied from me sitting down. And breaking down the cost of the trip. Coming from my own money. Which is unfair as fuck of you to say. Since she's a stay at home mum. This is the way a teenager thinks. And you're a 30 year old dude. Communicate like the adult you should be. For me it doesn't matter if it's a guy's trip.

[00:21:28] Mixed trip. Or with another female my wife is cool with. I always let her know if I plan for it to be just me on the trip. And not us. And she does the same with me. This way it's always clear up front. And we can talk through it if we need to. And that was pretty much the main comment of that post. And one that was highly upvoted. But as mentioned in that post. There was a couple of edits. Which one of them said. Yes. I had a big fat sit down conversation with my wife about this.

[00:21:58] Before I booked anything. And I broke down my plans and all the costs. Covered by money. I'd saved on my own. And my wife was completely fine with everything. Until now. Edit 2. Talked to my wife. And currently booking her onto. I'll fly to my hotel room. I guess I can see where people are coming from with the. You're the arsehole judgment. But I still think. She should have said she wanted to come sooner. As I did make it clear. But like I said. And people seem to be overlooking. I clearly communicated everything with her.

[00:22:28] Told her all the details and everything. She was fine with it all. Until she wasn't. But. What do you guys make of this situation? How would you deal with that? If it was you. It does seem like. You know. Opie. Doesn't really get it. Some of the. Some of the comments that was being said towards him. But what do you think? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories. Your love. Your support. Your time.

[00:22:57] It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much. And hopefully. I'll see you. In the next one. Take care. And much love. Without a peace. You know. Yeah.