The Guy I'm Dating Has A SHRINE To My Ex-Husband Inside His House?! | Reddit Stories

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] Oh, oh, oh! I had to do that. Happy Christmas all and just a huge thank you for being here today. Today's video is a cheeky little compilation video to get you through those Christmas preparations. Sorting out that Christmas food, all that kind of stuff. Last minute preparation, it's all go isn't it? As always with the compilation videos, if it's not for you, it's not for you. Switch it off, crack on with something else. But if you are hanging about, sit back, relax, listen to a couple of cheeky videos, grab a beverage of your choice.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00] Happy Christmas to you. Much love. Today's first story comes from Frasier Crane 69 and it says, The guy I'm dating, 36 male, has a shrine to my 37 female ex-husband in his house. I was married for seven years to a celebrity. I put it in quotes because while most of you have never heard of him, he is an A-list in the world of metal music. If you're a metal head, you 100% know who he is.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00] We split amicably because he was always going on tour. I used to love going with him, but the thrill of it wore off and I found myself sick traveling so much. Because of this, we grew apart, but still keeping contact occasionally because despite the fact that our marriage didn't work, he is a really cool, nice person. Two weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend that I immediately hit it off with.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00] We've been on three dates so far. The first two dates were drinks after work. He showed up in nice car keys and a button down both times. On our latest date, we went to his house to watch a movie. Literally watch a movie. We are taking the physical stuff slow. Lol. He had a nice house, so I asked for a tour. After he showed me the upstairs, he said he had to show me his game room.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_00] We went down into a fully furnished basement with a pool table, a mini bar and darts, but there was something very weird down there also. Apparently, my new man is really into metal music. Would never have guessed based on how he dresses. And his favorite artist of all time is, you guessed it, my ex-husband. He had frame posters of all of my ex's bands, autographed signature guitars.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00] Every record he has ever released were framed on the walls. He even had magazine articles about him and some of his bands framed. Every wall in his game room was covered with my ex's face and his signature guitars. So I may have messed up here, but I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. He knows I'm divorced, but he definitely doesn't know it's from his idol. We were seeing each other tonight for the fourth date and I know I need to tell him. But how?

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00] I really like this guy, but I'm afraid if I tell him, he will freak out and run. What should I say? Where should I tell him? I just don't want to damage our relationship because I can really see it becoming long term. I know I should have told him at his house, but honestly, I was in shock. Anybody know how to approach this? So there's a lot of skepticism in the comments. Pagan Princess says, I find it really hard to believe that he has a shrine of your ex-husband to the level you're describing, but doesn't know who you are.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe I'm jaded, but it seems too coincidental and potentially unsafe for you. Opie says a lot of people are saying this and now I'm a little freaked out. I mean, he can Google him and find out we were married. Now I'm scared he did. Now I'm going to ask my friend that introduced us if she told him. Another commenter says, Opie says,

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says, Opie says, I think that's the safest. The chances of it is not a coincidence, but it's not a coincidence at all. Spawn Broker says, Yes, this is a potentially dangerous situation for you. Crazed fans can and do harass family members of their idols.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00] I know it sucks and you really like this guy. But if this guy is a stalker, he could be targeting you to get your ex-husband's attention. Opie says, Thank you for your concern. After reading these comments, I'm going to break it off. I can't believe it didn't occur to me that he already knew. Elaine says, I think that's the safest. The chances of him not knowing who you were married to are pretty slim. I could understand if it was a band he'd never heard of, but his favorite band and artist? No way.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00] Hardy says, Whoa, aren't you going to check with his side of the story too? You might have no idea. Opie says, Yeah, I'm going to go through with our dinner date tonight and talk to him about it. Cotton Candy says, He met you through friends and is obsessed with your ex-husband. Yeah, he definitely knows who you are. It'd be hard to spend a lot of time tracking down signed memorabilia, etc. without ever getting a glimpse of a name or a pic of his favorite celebrity's wife.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] Like, someone that spent that much time and effort following and googling your ex-husband absolutely would know about wives and divorces, etc. I would talk to the friend that introduced you and ask them if they know who your ex-husband is and ask if the guy specifically asked to get an opportunity to meet you. Opie says, I called my friend. She says she didn't tell him. But after reading those responses, I realized he could google him and find pictures of us together. Now, I'm weirded out. Banana with three legs says,

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00] Did she know he was a fan? It's weird to me that he specifically wanted to show you that room. It makes me feel like he already knew. When he showed you, did it look like he was watching you for a reaction? Opie, can you update us how this all turns out? Opie says, He didn't seem to be looking for a reaction. He just looked really excited to show off his game room. And those comments felt absolutely spot on that this guy has got signed memorabilia.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00] Every wall of his little gaming place was covered with memorabilia of this person. I just feel like those comments said that there's no way he couldn't know about you in some way. And bringing you down there felt like he was trying to get some kind of reaction out of you. But either way, that's weirding me out at the same time. But Opie comes in with her update and says, Well, after getting a huge range of answers. Some of which were kind of frightening.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00] I decided to give the new guy the benefit of the doubt and go ahead with our dinner date that night. Our fourth date. So, I met him at the restaurant and we had some wine first. We were just talking and chatting and I realized that I had to bring up the ex-husband thing. So, while we were both two glasses of wine in, I decided to just ask him flat out if he knew that I was previously married to his favorite musician. He laughed nervously and said, Yes, I knew, but my friend didn't tell me.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00] I figured it out. He told me essentially that he found out through the grapevine and he decided to start mingling with my friend so he could meet me. Hmm. He told me that yes, at first it was just because I was married to his idol. But that now he is really developing feelings for me. I thought it was a little odd, but I felt fine with it. Until I remembered his man cave basement. I asked him if he knew I was married to his favorite musician. Then why the fuck would he bring me down there to show me all of the memorabilia?

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00] His response was too weird for me. He said, I was trying to see if you would confess. I was like, Confess to what? And he said, To me being married to my ex. I told him that I thought it was pretty concerning that he tried to trick me into some weird confession and I didn't think we would work out. He accepted it and didn't seem upset or anything. Dinner had already been served, so we started eating when he proceeded to bombard me with questions about my ex. When is he releasing new material?

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00] What is his favorite band? What does he do during the day of the show? Is he vegan? What's his mother's maiden name? Okay, so I made up the last one long. Blah blah blah. Finally, he could sense my discomfort and we ended the dinner and parted ways. He said he would text me the next day just as friends, which I said was okay. Well, his text the next day was trying to get him and his friends VIP passes when his ex comes nearest to play. I did not respond. I blocked his number because he kept texting again and again,

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00] begging me for the hookup. It was desperate and weird. Anyway, I called my ex to warn him about this dude, even though he seems harmless. He doesn't know where I live and I didn't get any psycho vibes. I think he just wanted me as a trophy as some user put in my last post. Ew. Thanks Reddit. And that is absolutely terrifying. You know, the amount of information that this guy knows and he got himself in your friend group to get to you

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00] with what it sounds like ultimately to get to your ex-husband. Absolutely terrifying behavior. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's have another story. Now, our next story comes from the today I fucked up subreddit from Almondcheft420 who says, Today, I fucked up by making my one night stand breakfast. I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00] I only recently felt good enough to get out of the house again. This was my first ever boyfriend. He turned out to be a piece of crap. So I was obviously a bit hesitant. But some old friends from high school were visiting my town and asked if I wanted to go on a bar crawl with them. And I figured, Fuck it. It's not like anything will happen other than getting drunk with some pills. So why not? At the first bar, we run into a group of guys from my university. I'd seen some of them around, but never spoke to them before.

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00] One of my friends decides she's going to force me to get out of my shell and drags our group over to talk with them. I'm extremely quiet, like weirdly quiet to most people. So I end up sitting in the corner of our booth and not saying anything. Just drinking and feeling awkward. Well, one of the guys in the other group, let's call him Adam, is also being weirdly quiet. So my friends and his friends who are already tipsy decide to make things as awkward as possible by making us play truth or dare.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_00] Except we have to drink when we don't want to answer something. There was a lot of personal slash sexual questions neither of us wanted to answer. So we ended up drinking quite a bit. By the time we're done at the first bar, Adam and I are on a whole different plane of existence from everyone else. And it turned out we had a lot in common. And he was pretty cute. And we were goofing around and laughing the whole time. I started to get butterflies in my stomach. And not just from the alcohol.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_00] Adam has my exact sense of humor and is really sweet and kind. We wander off and start having deep drunk conversations about feeling left out of things and how annoying it is when people say shit like, can they speak? I tell him I'm walking home and he offers to walk with me. I know where this is going but I'm drunk enough that I don't feel nervous. Plus I feel like I have a genuine connection with this guy. Our friends are wolf whistling as we leave and instead of being embarrassed, I feel weirdly proud.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00] So we get to my place, talk and smoke for a bit and do the deed. I wake up earlier than him and decide I'm going to make a nice breakfast. I want to impress him and show him that I like him. And everyone likes a good breakfast when they have a hangover, right? So I sneak out of bed and make scrambled eggs, french toast and sausage. I prefer almond milk so I use that for the eggs and french toast. He wakes up and tells me I look just as cute sober. At this point I'm convinced he's the love of my life.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_00] He sees the breakfast and gets excited and I'm like, yes, my plan worked. I'm going to get his heart through his stomach. We eat and everything's going great for a few bites. Then he makes a weird face and clears his throat. His eyes start to widen and ask me, what if there were nuts in the bread or something? I say no, but I used almond milk. He jumps out of his chair and says, call an ambulance now. I'm freaking the fuck out. He's wheezing and stuff and looking absolutely panicked.

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00] I asked if he has an EpiPen and he shakes his head no. So I call an ambulance and tell them he's having an allergic reaction and paramedics come and haul him off. This happened last weekend. I've not heard back from him since. I found his buddy and confirmed he is not dead. I guess accidentally triggering a severe allergic reaction does not lead to romance. Oof. And unfortunately, OP hasn't updated after that. And I wish they did give an update

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00] because it sounds like it could have been the beginning of something pretty special. Lots of commenters suggesting that probably he was embarrassed about the situation as well. And I imagine it was absolutely terrifying for both of you. You know, you wasn't intentionally trying to kill him. And I'm sure he knows that you were trying to do something special for him, which just went wrong. And you know, I'm glad that he's doing well. But I would say I would fire him a message and saying, Hey, are you okay? And see what response you get from there.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know. What do you guys make of that one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story does have an update with it. It's from oddlocksmith9500. And it says, Am I the asshole for not removing a photo my girlfriend told me before she moved in with me? I, 26 male, think this is completely ridiculous, but maybe I'm actually wrong. So here goes. I've been with my girlfriend, 26 female, for five years,

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_00] but we've known each other since we were 15. I'm fortunate to have my own place. And we've discussed for a while her moving in with me as she's been staying in the house more often. This wasn't a problem until she was about to move in. I have a few photos in the house of me with members of my family. The problem is with a specific photo of me with my brother and father. She told me to remove the photo before she moved in to accommodate her. I asked her why. She answered that it's weird.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_00] But to me, there's nothing weird about the photo. She's the one making it weird. Maybe the only thing weird about the photos is that all of them are when I was a child, but none of them are inappropriate or have something you can take the wrong way. She had no other argument and in the end, I refused. And she said she wouldn't move in and I was okay with that. This has been a topic of discussion for the past few days. Some of our friends and even my father said that I should remove the photo to make her feel welcome.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00] But I just find that again, ridiculous. Edits. I won't post the photo because I don't feel comfortable, but I'll describe it as much as possible. The photo was taken when my brother was six and I seven. In the middle is my father with a grin from ear to ear. His eyes closed and his arms extended to the sides. To his left, my brother buzz cut standing straight with his arms at the side like a soldier in a serious face. To my father's right is me.

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00] Long hair standing like a boxer from 1910 with my chin up and a mean mug. All wearing a suit because it was taken at my uncle's wedding. The photo was taken outside the place where the event took place. There is nothing exceptional related to the place. The only things aside from us is the sun, the blue sky and a bunch of trees. She has met my family. She has always been respectful and friendly with them and vice versa. There hasn't been any incidents or problems with any of them. I asked her and she's denied it.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00] Her problem is with the photo I described above. I have other photos with my father and brother individually. I do the same pose in various photos. I have one doing the same pose with my paternal grandfather where we both wear boxing gloves. He taught me the pose. She has stayed in the house multiple days, even weeks. She has things here. She never brought up the issue. I'm all for compromising but I need a proper explanation other than it's weird. I still have long hair. Even longer than before.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00] She is very fond of it and not a problem. None of the photos stand out. They put on a small part of the wall in the living room with the others. Including the ones I'm with her. They're not big or I'd basically be upholstering the entire wall. She had issues with her family but they solved it. But I don't rule out that something happened that she hasn't told me. I just get the feeling this is nothing about you and your father and that photo in particular.

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_00] It's something to do from her side and it's brought back memories for her in some kind of way. Personally, I'd want to know why as well. Not just remove the photo because I say so. I wouldn't feel happy about that. I love having photos of all my family and extended family on my wards. It makes me happy. And for someone to ask them to remove them with little reason, you know, I wouldn't be up for that. But a small update on this from OP says,

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_00] I'm reading your replies but my apologies for not answering every comment. There are just too many. We've talked this morning and this has nothing to do with me or my family but hers. The photos brought some feelings and she was feeling bad for someone else and not for herself. It has to do with one of her nephews. She's going through the same situation as her when she was 15. No sexual abuse for those concerned and she has been blocked about what to do.

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_00] She has apologized for her behavior in the past days and for taking it out on me instead of coming for help. I'm going to see her once I get out of work so she can tell me about it and we can find a way to stop her from going nuclear on her family. And we can help her nephew. The OP comes in with a full update and says, Before the update I will clarify some points and also please excuse my English. It is my third language. I looked at the photo for a solid 30 minutes and again there is nothing remotely wrong.

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_00] It wasn't taken at the wedding but at the reception and still it wasn't a religious wedding and you can't tell there is a party going on. Also I said the size of the photo but I was just spitting nonsense. It's smaller. Religion was noted. We are not religious and we have no incidents related to it. My father's pose was also pointed out. I know it's hard to imagine. His arms are not extended like a T. They are extended in an angle with his palms opening pointing at us. Like look at them.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_00] I used grin but smile is better. Synonyms in the end but whatever. He says that in previous photos with him we just stand there and smile and he expected the same. But we just came up with that. I was the first to pose and when my brother saw me he didn't know what to do and ended up standing still and serious. He also says that our poses described perfectly how we were in our childhood. My brother the goody two shoes and me the troublemaker.

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00] He was trying not to laugh his ass off and that's why he had his eyes closed and smile from ear to ear. He also pointed out that a member of my family molested or slept with my girlfriend. We might be a little wild but we're not complete animals. Everyone in my family is friendly and most importantly very respectful to my girlfriend. The same way we are with my brother's wife, father's wife and uncle's wife. Women who joined our family who also treat us the same way. Besides grandma would cut our balls if we act inappropriately with any of them or other women.

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_00] We in any sense would break someone's trust or go lengths to split our already small family. We'd rather lose an arm. And there are not incidents of this in my girlfriend's family either. Many of you jumped to extremes. I can't fault you given the amount of information I provided. I hope this update clears things up. The update. My girlfriend had problems with her family when she was 15. All of them including her extended family were involved in the medical field and they expect everyone to do the same.

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00] They were very supportive of her until she decided to follow a different path. They let her study what she wanted but there was friction. They spent her high school years in therapy fixing their relationship and they did according to her. Now, her nephew, her brother's son, also wants to pursue a different career. He's been facing the same problems my girlfriend faced. He called her because he knows that she does something completely different and because the relationship with his father and even with his girlfriend's parents changed drastically.

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00] The call happened days before she was about to move in with me and what caused her behavior. My girlfriend wanted to deal with the situation before she moved in with me and by herself. Unfortunately, she did it horribly. On the day of our fight, she hasn't thought in any other than going ballistic. She was going to tell me about it and ask for help but she decided to pick a stupid fight to buy time and deal with the situation. Not only the mentioned photo but all of them brought bad feelings. She just selected the goofiest one.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00] She not only felt bad for herself but especially for her nephew. She doesn't have a problem with the photos. She likes them or with my family. It's the contrast. I hope this makes sense. My family has always supported us no matter what and the photos show that. While with her family, it seems their support is still conditional. She thought her family knew better at this point after what happened with her. In our first chat after I made the post, she apologized for her behavior and told me what I wrote above.

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_00] She explained that she felt overwhelmed and she broke down when she thought I might be breaking up with her popped in her head. I never implied, which prompted her to book an emergency session with a therapist. She had the session before our talk. She accepts and knows that everything could have been avoided if she just told me what was happening. Despite what the situation implies, she has never made these types of demands and knows that I don't tolerate them. She completely regrets it. Our communication has always been good.

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_00] We've always been open with our needs, problems and what we want in the future. Not for nothing. We're moving together. We already had a long trial thanks to the quarantine. I understand her a little because things have been going really well between us and with her family. The situation with her nephew came out of nowhere and shook her up a lot. She knows that I'm still a bit upset that it took her this long to come to her senses and she keeps apologizing. But she keeps taking the right steps to move forward. So we're cool.

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_00] We also talked, still do more in depth about us and we're on the same page. I'm not going anywhere and she's been more than explicit that she isn't either. She suggested couples therapy and although I'm not against it, if we communicate like before and now, I think we'll be fine. But I don't rule it out. We're going to keep things as they are for now until the situation with her family is resolved, whatever the outcome. Which made her rush to message her parents to set a meeting with them next week. We're taking it easy and dealing with one problem at a time.

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_00] The photos are staying and she will bring hers once she moves in to put them with them like we agreed before. I think I covered as much as I could. Thanks for taking the time and I'll be checking the post if you have other questions. And there was a lot of comments below this one. Quite a few of them saying, you know, they're not ready to be moving in together. Some people responding to that saying, you know, she had an out of character freak out and it was an inappropriate response to an emotional trigger. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_00] Would you move in together? Would you not? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Our next story comes from MIRSW from the relationship advice subreddit and it says, my boyfriend 24 male threatened to break up with me over Miss Dior and now won't talk to me 22 female because I laughed. Hi guys, my boyfriend 24 male and me 22 female have been together for almost two years now.

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_00] Aside from some small bumps in the road, we've been in a very good place throughout the whole relationship. However, last night's things escalated over, in my opinion, something super dumb. But he thinks differently of that and now stopped talking to me. It started when we were on bed, when we were on the bed and he was gaming and I was on my laptop looking to order a new perfume. Since I stopped my job to focus on studying, I didn't have much of an income. So I decided not to get an expensive perfume.

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_00] I usually go for Miss Dior. I thought it'd be better to find a body spray with a resembling scent. As he was looking over my shoulder, he asked what I was doing. So I explained. He then reacted saying I wore Miss Dior in our first period of dating and it is my smell. And it was one of the things that attracted him to me. I must admit this made me a bit annoyed because I'd rather get that perfume too. But it's just not responsible to do so right now.

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_00] He started rambling on about how I care more about saving money than I care about him. I said that's not true. But then he kept saying his hypersensitivity issues can't deal with adjusting to a new scent. I said I'd find a scent similar to my old one. But he wasn't content. At this point, he said he'd have to break up with me if I would go for another scent. I found this hilarious and thought he surely must be joking. So I laughed, which made him go silent.

[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_00] I let him be because I was really annoyed and he went to sleep. Now he left early morning, doesn't respond to my texts or calls and I have no idea what to do. And I'm starting to doubt how I handled the situation. Did I fail him by not taking his hypersensitivity into account? For me, this came across as particularly manipulative behavior. I mean, he watched his girlfriend trying to be financially responsible while she was studying.

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_00] And instead of offering to help buy the perfume, if it meant that much to him, he threatened to end a two year relationship if she didn't spend the money that she doesn't have on an expensive perfume. And let's face it, it's an expensive perfume. I mean, I just did a quick Google and it says £88 and that's for the smaller bottle. And now he's giving you the silent treatment after you laughed at, frankly, his absurd ultimatum.

[00:25:45] [SPEAKER_00] And I'm not saying that, you know, there's no sensory issues there. There could be, but he has the choice to have an adult conversation with OP to come up with a solution. OP would love that perfume. They just can't afford it right now. The easiest option is, is that he can contribute or buy it. Not tell her that, you know, we're going to break up unless you buy that one. MC Susie says, I'm concerned that you're even asking this question.

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER_00] This boyfriend of yours tried to assert that you must stick with a Dior perfume and never once offered to buy it. What is wrong with him? In any case, his reaction to your perfume choice is very strange. What are you asking us if you did something wrong? Shelby the turd says, lol, threatening to end the relationship because you don't stick to the brand of perfume he likes. Say that aloud. He's holding the relationship hostage because you didn't smell a certain way.

[00:26:38] [SPEAKER_00] Auntie Venom says, he started rambling on how I care more about saving money than I care about him and then says that he offered to buy it for you. This is some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Sorry. If you're in saving money mode, you're going to pull back on admittedly frivolous purchases. And any regular partner with their head on straight would be glad they had a frugal partner when circumstances demand. He wants you to overspend in order to satisfy his pants feelings.

[00:27:03] [SPEAKER_00] So, Opie comes in with an update and says, wow, first of all, thanks everyone who gave me advice and some tough love. I did not expect so many of you to help me and definitely teared up as some of your replies. After I posted this, I was a bit of a mess. But after hours of ignoring me, he texted me in the late evening and asked me to meet up. Because he does not want us to be in a bad place. I really wanted to talk to him. At least to clear things up. So, I went to his place.

[00:27:31] [SPEAKER_00] When I got there, he acted a bit disappointed still. But he did say he didn't want us to fight. I felt the same but also took your advice to heart. The idea of letting him buy a bottle. However, for some context, I do think he might be on the spectrum. No diagnosis but his dad is too. And it makes sense. So, I did want to show him that I care about his hypersensitivity seriously. Therefore, I decided to suggest we pay half-half for a new Miss Dior.

[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_00] And then, until that one would be finished, I'd make sure to do research to find a really good dupe. He was not convinced. Told me it wasn't my birthday anytime soon. I explained I understood but we'd have to both compromise. Well, to quote his literal words. If you're such a feminist, you should be so financially too. This got me fuming. I had no words. So, this time I left. As per your advice in the replies, I did some thinking about the rest of our relationship.

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_00] I realized other things in our relationship that at the time didn't sit quite right with me. Were situations of him being controlling and self-concerned. Situations I always concerned as little things he'd mean differently or would learn from. I was wrong. You were right. I asked him to meet up today and I dumped his ass. I feel terrible right now but I know I'm better off. So, anyone. Advise for a cheap, nice body spray. And Opie replied to some comments on that one.

[00:28:56] [SPEAKER_00] Someone said that was a difficult decision but the right one. I don't know where you live but in the UK and Ireland, Aldi does a great mist your dupe on occasion. It's called Perfect Pink. Opie says we do have an Aldi here so I'm going to check it out. Thank you. Another commenter says good for you. He sounded unreasonable. I would have said that he should pay the difference between the perfume. You would have bought in the perfume he wanted you to buy. But his comments are so out of line it's not even worth thinking about anymore.

[00:29:25] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says I didn't even think about this. It would have been a good reaction but since he thinks I have to pay for everything because I'm a feminist, I don't think he would have been okay with that either. Another commenter says I'm so tired of people weaponizing feminism. Good riddance. Opie says this. I always found it very hard to be mad at him for long. But when he said this, I felt like he showed his true colors and I was so, so done. Another commenter says what did he say when you broke up with him?

[00:29:54] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says he mumbled something along the lines of good. I deserve better. But after that he did text me to say sorry and if we can talk again. So he's not very consistent. Another commenter says good on you for throwing him out Opie. I'm glad you also got recommendations for a juke perfume. Although maybe a change of fragrance may not be a bad idea. So you don't associate it with him. Opie says thank you a lot. I was thinking the same thing. I feel like it's a good time to reinvent myself.

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_00] Starting off with a new signature scent. He he. I love a he he. And good on Opie to get themselves out of that situation. Yeah, red flags were waving, right? But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the wedding drama subreddit from tiny birds nest who says,

[00:30:50] [SPEAKER_00] Friend having wedding day before mine and kept relationship hidden for a whole year. What do I do? Apologies for the long post. So I'm getting married in a few weeks. About a month ago, one of my best friends who I've known since college and I've kept in regular contact with dropped the bomb that she was getting married. I didn't even know she was seeing anyone.

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_00] She then drops the bomb that she's marrying a guy in our friend group and that her wedding is going to have to be the day before mine because her father-in-law can't get time off work at any other time that month. And essentially gave a few of the half-arsed reasons about why other weekends weren't possible. One weekend will be a few days before her period starts so she'll be bloated. The other, she's on her period. The other is Valentine's weekend and that's cringy. The other is too close to Ramadan so she can't go on a honeymoon straight away.

[00:31:42] [SPEAKER_00] Some backstory about the person she's marrying. She is someone that we always thought she had a thing but she'd always deny it and say she saw him like a brother. We used to argue a bit over her prioritizing him over me back in college, especially because this guy and I didn't really get on much and her and I were so close. Example, me and her had brunch plans once and she spent the whole time texting him. After graduating though, I feel like we all matured and put differences behind us.

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_00] To the point where her husband-to-be was actually invited to my wedding as my friend. My knee-jerk reaction to telling her that she was engaged was crying tears of joy for her. I was truly happy for her. But when I went home to think about it, I felt really icky. All year I've been wedding planning. She's been asking me really specific questions about my planning process.

[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_00] She complained to me that as my best friend, she didn't feel involved enough in my planning process and she wanted to come dress shopping with me. Which I invited her to because of her expressing this. But then for her to turn around and tell me that she's been dating this guy on and off for a year while also keeping it a secret makes her feeling left out of my stuff come across as so hypocritical. And then there's the question of why the rush since she's known him a decade?

[00:33:00] [SPEAKER_00] And why specifically my wedding weekend when I sent out my save the dates back in March so she's had much time to plan and leave some time in between? It's not about me not having all the attention on me. It's just how can she expect me to be fully present at her wedding? And how selfish she must be to expect me to have to fit her into an already stressful weekend for me. When I told her this, she doubled down on that weekend being the only one available.

[00:33:25] [SPEAKER_00] And that she specifically chose that one because she knew I'd be available since I'd booked a few days off from work before the wedding. And that she needed me at her wedding. She said I would embarrass her around her future in-law since she made such a point of needing to pick a date that I could attend. Even though I had no clue she was seeing him nor did she check if the day was a good fit for me. I then also expressed how upset I was that she kept the relationship hidden from me. To which she said she thought I'd cut her off because of my history of not getting on with this guy.

[00:33:55] [SPEAKER_00] Again, we all moved past that stuff years ago and are a far cry from the kids we were when we all met back in freshman year. When I told her I didn't think I could make a wedding. She was so upset she cried and said she never thought I'd do that to her and skip her wedding. She'd been telling other friends in the friend group that I'm coming to the wedding when they've asked if that date is doable for me. We haven't spoken since my conversation about how upset with her I was a month ago. I'm not trying to be a bridezilla and I know people are entitled to be private.

[00:34:25] [SPEAKER_00] My issue is that she should have extended that privacy with me and not asked so many questions about my life knowing she was being so type-lipped with hers. This is where I now need advice. I feel so bitter like the whole friendship was a lie. I can't make it to a wedding and honestly having her at mine feels disingenuous. She's been telling friends she is still coming to mine. Is it rude for me not to go to her wedding? Should I go to her wedding since this is a decade long friendship?

[00:34:53] [SPEAKER_00] Part of me wants to disinvite her and her husband from my wedding because of the lies. Is that rude? Is there a polite way to disinvite someone from your wedding without coming across like an absolute villain? Thank you for reading up to here if you have. Edits. I'm Middle Eastern so traditionally we don't have bridesmaids or a rehearsal dinner. Also fix some of the wording plus added some more detail. Now it might not be this but to me it just felt like she saw your wedding, she wants to get married before you and that's simply it.

[00:35:23] [SPEAKER_00] And wanting to be more involved in all the planning etc. She wanted your ideas. I was kind of thinking there's a chance here that your two weddings are going to be absolutely identical. You're going to be at the same venues, the same decorations, the same table layouts, the same everything because she's taken all your ideas and then used them the day before. You know, that might be the extreme but it kind of felt like it was going that way for me. But some comments with OP replying. The commenter said,

[00:35:50] [SPEAKER_00] When did this friend send out wedding invitations that you just found out and she's expecting you to attend? It sounds very last minute on her part. OP says, So from what I've heard from the grapevine. She's only just found a venue and no invitations have gone out yet. She's been insisting that officially the engagement and knowing they were getting married in November, which is why nothing has been booked. It all just seems so wishy-washy to me. Commenter says, I just have to add a totally instant gut reaction to the situation.

[00:36:18] [SPEAKER_00] Your friend was siphoning off all of your wedding planning to make hers easier. But I'm not the only one thinking that. She deliberately planned a day before yours to cover that fact up. Hers is the earlier wedding. Therefore, you copied her in her mind anyway. I'm very sorry you're going through this, but this is not a friend. Grieve the loss of what you thought you had and move on with your life. No way should you bother to attend her wedding. She knows it isn't possible for you to go the day before your own wedding.

[00:36:46] [SPEAKER_00] She planned that, but I would formally revoke her invitation to your wedding. Best of luck. Hugs from an internet nana. OP responds saying, That's what I was thinking too. Before all of this, she kept on saying how easy wedding plans seem to be going for me. It's not been easy at all. I'm just good at hiding it and very organized. And how I thought of things she would never have known was a thing. In terms of disinviting and the cultural impact, it's very split down the middle with opinions. So I'm really torn.

[00:37:16] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you for the hugs. I really appreciate it. This has really helped me feel like I'm not being unreasonable or a bridezilla. Commenter says to OP, Quite simply, she's a terrible friend. Here's the gist of what you wrote. One, you guys are allegedly close, yet she didn't tell you about her year long relationship. Two, she's chosen to inconvenience you in your own wedding weekend, assumed you'd be available the day before your own wedding, after she hid a relationship from you.

[00:37:46] [SPEAKER_00] Three, she's lying to everyone about you attending her wedding. Four, she hasn't shared any details about her own wedding despite making you feel guilty about not including her in your own wedding planning. Five, you never even really liked her husband. If she thought you'd cut her off for dating this man, Why would she think you'd be okay not cutting her off for marrying him? She seems the kind of friend who wants to know all of your business without sharing anything from her own life. Honestly, not the kind of company you'd want to keep.

[00:38:15] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah, and also just going back on the friends where she's lying to everyone about you attending her wedding. I found it pretty telling where she'd been telling people that you're going to the wedding, and they was asking, is that date doable for me? You know, the friends know that that's a huge ask. And I can only imagine them being shocked like, really? The day before her wedding? OP responded to that last comment saying heavy on the last point.

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_00] Another commenter says, How would she know you got over your dislike of a fiance? OP says, She should have known I moved past it because we all hang out as a group a few times a year. And her husband-to-be received an invite to my wedding. My issue is her getting upset with me for not being involved in my wedding planning, which comes across as hypocritical. But you're right. I've learned I should be more tight-lipped about certain things now, I guess. Commodore says in reply saying,

[00:39:33] [SPEAKER_00] So, she told your friends about the wedding weeks ago. She'd been telling other friends in the friend group that I'm coming to the wedding, and they've asked if that date is doable for me. And says, How long did she invite them? No one mentioned it to you. It is unreasonable for anyone to expect you to attend a wedding the day before yours, especially with only a few weeks notice. OP says she told me first, and then the rest of the friends in the days after.

[00:40:03] [SPEAKER_00] What kind of wedding is she planning? Is this like a courthouse wedding in the late morning, followed by a nice lunch or a full-on catered event? The request is certainly presumptuous of her. So, I'm just trying to understand all the details. OP says she's planning on having a religious ceremony and reception on the same day. So, have the same time frame as a western and be typically an all-day thing, especially if you consider pictures between the ceremony and reception. Someone says, Is this really happening? Did anyone confirm? OP says,

[00:40:33] [SPEAKER_00] Friends have confirmed with the groom. The wedding is definitely happening. Someone said, Is she pregnant? OP says, Definitely don't think she's pregnant. I know she's quite religious, but of course, that doesn't really mean it's not a possibility. OP added one more thought and said, Trust me, there are so many holes that I'm curious about too in her story, and a lot else that I didn't put in myself. In terms of how busy I'll be, the day before OP's wedding, I'll be putting together my wedding favors with the girls in the family in the days leading up to the wedding.

[00:41:01] [SPEAKER_00] We'll be doing airport runs up to the day before, as a lot of family will be traveling in, some from 20 plus hours away. And we live close to three major airports, so it's all hands on deck. And honestly, I was hoping I'd get a nice early night to relax for once, because I've had such a busy year. I'd be combining my henna event with a reception on the day of the wedding, because I've already had two events. I have a Western style bridal shower the weekend before, so I wanted to cut down on events.

[00:41:30] [SPEAKER_00] So, a month and a half after that post, OP updates, and says a few people in the original post were asking about rehearsal dinners and all of that stuff. I'm Middle Eastern, and we don't really do that in our culture. Some people also said I needed to get over myself, and that I don't own the whole weekend, which is true. I don't. My issue was the lying, and also the expectation of me to drive a total of five hours, two and a half hours there and back, the day before my wedding, and to attend another, when I had so many things to finalize.

[00:42:00] [SPEAKER_00] I also just needed to vent. Being lied to and having something that felt so calculated to happen, and what I thought was one of my closest friendships, is strange. Oh, and I don't think it was a shotgun wedding, which a lot of people were suggesting. Anyway, I had my wedding. It was perfect, and I wouldn't change a thing. I didn't go to her wedding. I genuinely didn't have the time. I did see some posted videos of her wedding. She didn't copy mine, which a lot of people were worried about, considering she had been asking me about all of my prep.

[00:42:29] [SPEAKER_00] I'll give her her flowers though. Her wedding was gorgeous, but definitely not a two-month planned wedding like she was making it out it was to me. In the end, she ended up coming to my wedding about three hours late. I was too busy being in my own newly married bubble to notice her or anything. But I did get feedback from people who were sat at her table. Like people said she would in my original post, she spent the whole time talking about her wedding. In our culture, the bride receives a heavy piece of gold jewelry at her wedding.

[00:42:58] [SPEAKER_00] She's made a show of having her new husband take her piece of jewelry out of her bag and putting it on her at the table just after my husband and I. It was so nice saying that. Did our outfit change? She was also showing off other pieces of jewelry she received, making a point to emphasize that she received real sapphires and real diamonds. Her and her husband also spent the whole time texting each other, which means they were probably saying not very nice things that they didn't want our mutual friends overhearing. And she would frequently turn to him and say,

[00:43:29] [SPEAKER_00] Don't worry, we're leaving soon. They were also packing on the PDA with neck kisses. She also then cried to my mom and brother about how she doesn't understand why I've not been talking to her and how I've been so cold to her. This wasn't true. I'd only told her how much her actions and lies had hurt me. And to be honest, she was the one who didn't respond to my last message. My mom being the classic mom she is brought her to me and tried to make us hug it out.

[00:43:56] [SPEAKER_00] We have this very awkward exchange caught on camera. My mom did tell my friend that she shouldn't have lied to me for a whole year though. So it's nice to know she had my back even if she pulled a typical mom move trying to make everyone happy. Our mutual friends are all on my side. No one really thinks she's in the right. Most of them didn't go to her wedding. With the invites being so last minute and her wedding being on a weekday. A lot of people couldn't get the time off for childcare. No one else knew about the wedding which is crazy.

[00:44:25] [SPEAKER_00] I do believe that her truth is that she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. And she really does think that she considered me and my situation in her wedding planning. Unfortunately, I think it's one of those friendships where we no longer really align. And I've taken a step back and distanced myself from her. I do appreciate that she came to my wedding. However, I think she did it to make a point. More than out of the goodness of her heart. And respect for our friendship considering what she pulled. Absolutely, I'd be pulling myself out of that friendship. That is not a friendship.

[00:44:55] [SPEAKER_00] Friends don't treat you like that. And it just felt like she was trying to one up you in this whole situation. The whole wedding. Maybe she didn't copy you but maybe she was trying to find ways to again one up you during your wedding with the decorations. The setup of it all or whatever. And then for me, what really sealed the deal on that is at your wedding when she turned up. And then you said about the heavy piece of gold jewelry that you put on that your husband puts on. And she did it just after you.

[00:45:24] [SPEAKER_00] She knew exactly what she was doing. There's no way you can sit there and think oh, I'm just gonna put on my piece of gold jewelry now right after the bride. And not think that you're that you're doing something there. Absolutely wild and weird behavior. And to be quite frank, I wouldn't want to be a part of it either. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Our next story comes from deleted user but it says I planted bamboo that overrun my neighbor's property over a security light.

[00:45:55] [SPEAKER_00] About four years ago, I used to live in a nice HOA in a small town in Texas. And I enjoyed having only one neighbor over my backyard fence. The plot was about two acres and the other side of the backyard butted up to a hayfield. The stars were beautiful at night because of virtually no light pollution. Until their neighbor decided to install an incredibly bright security light over their back porch. Aimed right at my back patio and bedroom windows.

[00:46:22] [SPEAKER_00] I tried to ignore it at first and put shades in the bedroom. But on the patio, it was like having a bright LED light in your face all night. I consulted the HOA about adding a privacy addition to my fence to increase its height. And they said no because it's already the eight foot max allowed height. They said there was nothing in the bylaws or whatever about bright lights so nothing they could do. Diplomacy.

[00:46:46] [SPEAKER_00] So I hated for this to be a thing where we finally had a formal greeting after three years of back porch waves. But I walked over and rang the doorbell with $20. I politely explained how the light was causing a aforementioned nuisance. And asked if there was any way I could convince him to point the light down or in a different direction. And even offered to buy him a case of beer. The $20. Out of goodwill. And even a new motion sensing light. He seemed nice and agreed to point it down.

[00:47:15] [SPEAKER_00] But after waiting a month, nothing changed. I went back to have another polite conversation. And he said he had changed his mind and was going to leave it on every night and leave it pointed as is. A petty revenge. Needless to say, I was a bit upset. Diplomacy failed and started figuring out how to win. If the military taught me anything, there's always a way to adapt and overcome. So, I started researching fast growing plants to create big privacy walls.

[00:47:42] [SPEAKER_00] And reading through the HOA bylaws and city state ordinances about what I could or couldn't plant. And if there was any repercussions for enroachment across the property line. I quickly discovered running bamboo, despite being very invasive, would grow super fast to make the neighbor's house and light disappear from view. And there was nothing on the HOA, state or city books to prevent me from planting it. Or cause legal recourse if it spread and grew on his side of the fence.

[00:48:09] [SPEAKER_00] Only thing he could do is cut anything that grew on his side of the line. So I pulled the trigger and planted a bunch of golden bamboo. Which grows at speeds crazy fast in Texas and up to 20 feet tall. I didn't care if it took over the fence line because his house is 15 feet from the fence while mine was 50 yards away. So I planted a bunch right against the fence and only put root barrier on my side to prevent it spreading into my yard.

[00:48:49] [SPEAKER_00] Within six months his house and light were gone from view. Replaced by a pretty bamboo jungle row at the edge of my yard. Within one year he complained it was growing into his yard by mailed letters. He went right into the trash with no response. He rang my doorbell once and I looked at him through the window but just didn't answer the door. I unexpectedly sold the house and moved two years after planning for a career opportunity.

[00:49:13] [SPEAKER_00] It's been two years since I sold and I just checked the property on Google Earth and his entire backyard is bamboo.

[00:49:21] Pffft.

[00:49:22] [SPEAKER_00] Edit. Wow, this post took off overnight. Kinda like bamboo. Thanks for the hilarious responses. The top commenter said on this one and I was thinking exactly along these lines. They said, as someone who has dealt with bamboo, this is almost nuclear revenge. I heard a similar story in the UK and I think it was on some sort of news outlet or something like that. Or it might be like nightmare neighbors. I've looked at so much neighbor stuff that it's just crazy.

[00:49:48] [SPEAKER_00] It was a few years back when Japanese knotweed was talked about like all the time in the UK. There was a big moment about it. It was like all the news outlets and stuff like that about how invasive it is. And I mean, I've never seen it in real life myself, but somewhere in the UK, it must have been going crazy. I heard about a story pretty similar to this. It was the neighbor was trying to get revenge on the other neighbor for some reason. And he had some Japanese knotweed. I'm not sure if he planted it or where he got it from.

[00:50:16] [SPEAKER_00] Planted it and basically it ruined three people's gardens. It literally took over everything. And in the end, some sort of professional company because they was trying to spread it and get rid of it. And it just wasn't happening so that they get a professional company. I don't know how they did it. I don't know if you have to dig it up or what. But anyway, have you ever had any dealings with knotweed or bamboo or just a nightmare neighbor in general? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next one is in the pro revenge subreddit.

[00:50:46] [SPEAKER_00] So we've gone from petty to pro, although I think the other one was pretty pro revenge or maybe even nuclear like that comment said. But this one's from Further Dimensions who says, Threaten my friend with revenge porn. I'll ruin your whole damn life. My very good friend made some slightly dumb mistakes and sent some pictures to someone that she reasonably thought she could trust. But not knowing much more than his first name, his screen name and roughly where he lived and the type of work he did.

[00:51:13] [SPEAKER_00] He's not in our country, but has indicated that he would be traveling for work to near us shortly. And they had made some plans to meet. And when she got some red flags and backed out, the dude threatened to publish these pictures online. I am incidentally an attorney. So some searching later and gathering up any pictures he sent her of him that could possibly identify him. His online handle let me go to a TikTok page, which led me to an Instagram page with his name on it.

[00:51:41] [SPEAKER_00] That led me to a LinkedIn page with his place of work that matched the picture he sent with a branded polo he was wearing. Some more searching got me the email of the CEO, VP of HR, operations manager and public relations manager. I just fired off an email on behalf of my client of the screenshots of him threatening revenge porn. Snippets of the conversation showing that username while he sent that exact picture of him wearing his company's branded apparel.

[00:52:08] [SPEAKER_00] Links to how I know it's him, along with pictures he sent her of his motorcycle with a license plate showing. That's further proof it's him. I also included screenshots of him discussing a workplace incident that were timestamped, along with pieces of dialogue. Discussing how he had sex with an ex at his place of work and discussing plans to have sex with her in his office as well.

[00:52:28] [SPEAKER_00] I also included a picture he sent of her showing his work laptop with his entire Outlook calendar, along with proprietary information, which he sent to prove he was busy. Along with other pictures he took of his workplace with non-consenting employees. I further informed his employees that I will be forwarding all this information to local, to them, law enforcement, and since he had indicated they'd be travelling to the United States soon.

[00:52:53] [SPEAKER_00] We'll also forward this to the local office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as since my client is a US citizen on US soil, these threats constituted a federal crime. So that should they continue with his employment, and continue with their plans to send him to the United States for work, I will ensure, on behalf of my client, that federal law enforcement is waiting for him on arrival. Which I will do. As one of the assistant US attorneys for this region is a law school buddy of mine.

[00:53:22] [SPEAKER_00] Since I have his license plate number, I know where he lives, and will be contacting his local authorities tomorrow. You dumb motherfucker, thinking you were hiding around anonymity, thinking you could threaten my friend. It took me 45 minutes to destroy your life. The top commenter on that one said, I feel like you win 2024. Legit revenge, check. Person's life now super fucked, checked. Done in record time. Also check. Rafter replies to that saying,

[00:53:51] [SPEAKER_00] An OP is a lawyer and used tools from their profession. That's a pro revenge check too. Party Ring replies to that saying, Pro bono revenge. Some people are just so stupid. I was on X Twitter the other day, just scrolling through the trending stuff and you know, it's all politics in the moment. I won't get into politics, but this one guy was going absolutely mental in some comments. Going through calling people a cuck. The arse slur word. Talking about if that person was in front of him,

[00:54:21] [SPEAKER_00] it'd smash their face in. And he was doing this to like multiple people. And he's like, what the hell are you doing? And I just out of curiosity, I clicked on his profile and he's got like a link to his workplace. He's the co-owner of a company within his state. And you're like, you can click it and you can see pictures, information, and you just think, what are you doing? I mean, either he just doesn't care, but you think, sure that's going to bite you in the arse at some point. And this is like a customer facing job as well. Like, like if you went into this place,

[00:54:49] [SPEAKER_00] you'd be working with this specific person. I just find that wild. But we're going to sneak on back over to the petty revenge subreddit with Dickiebo, who says, Watching my housemate die inside. This happened in my second year of university in the UK, circa 1998. Six of us shared a house with an even split of boys and girls. John was my best mate and was very shy and had no confidence with girls.

[00:55:17] [SPEAKER_00] He got on really well with the girls we live with, Sarah in particular. When we moved in, Sarah had a boyfriend who thankfully, after a few months, she broke up as he was a dick. After this, Sarah and John grew closer. And she would quite often sit and cuddle with him while watching TV, dance with him when we were out and generally spend a lot of time with him. John was clueless about women and thought they were just besties. But it was clear to everyone that they were into each other.

[00:55:46] [SPEAKER_00] The important point to the story is, John was still a virgin. Our other male housemate Steve was the opposite of John. He was a player. He had a girlfriend from school who was a few hours away at another uni. So he'd regularly sleep with anyone that would have him. He also had a crush on Sarah and tried it on with her a few times and got rejected. Steve used to take the mickey out of John for being a virgin.

[00:56:09] [SPEAKER_00] At first, it was every so often and then John and Sarah were getting closer and he started to call him Virgin Boy in an attempt to belittle him. The rest of us told him to knock it off, but he persisted for a few weeks. Not long after we got back from Christmas break. A few of us were in the living room after uni and Steve walked in and asked me and Virgin Boy if we'd like to order pizza for dinner. Sarah walked in from the kitchen at that point and walked over to John and sat on his knee. Kissed him, looked at Steve and said,

[00:56:39] [SPEAKER_00] You can't call him that anymore. We had a great time this morning and he made me come several times. I doubt you've ever managed that with your tiny cock. Oh gee whiz. But the rest of us sat there trying to stifle laughter. Steve went bright red, mumbled something and went to his room. Turned out Sarah had made a move on John that morning. They both admitted to being into each other and had slept together. Sarah snapped when she heard Virgin Boy and decided she had had enough of Steve.

[00:57:08] [SPEAKER_00] John and Sarah are still together. Married with three kids. And I don't think there is too much to say on that one after that really. But we have got another story. This one was a suggested one. There's no update or such on it, but just a wild situation in itself. It comes from the relationships advice subreddit from CheekyHotChickenRoll who says,

[00:57:29] [SPEAKER_00] I, 18 female, left my laptop open and my sister, 15 female, replaced everything in my hobbies and passions section of my resume with just garlic bread as a joke. I knowingly sent it to about 20 to 30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it. Yes, Reddit. I know how hilarious this sounds and I promise you, this is not a joke and I am genuinely freaking out right now.

[00:57:55] [SPEAKER_00] I am soon finishing up secondary school, high school and I am looking for my very first job for the summer. So when I was filling out my resume, I didn't have a lot of experience to mention. So I decided to do a hobbies and passions section, taking advice from others. I stupidly left my laptop out on the kitchen table today while I went to the shop to get some tea and my gobshite, ooh this is a Brit, of a sister thought it would be the joke of the century to delete my hobbies and passions section

[00:58:21] [SPEAKER_00] and replace everything with a single bullet point saying, garlic bread. Now, I'd close the word document, saving it before leaving. She opened it, changed it without telling me and saved it and closed it before I came back. She knows bloody well, definitely a Brit, that I'm looking for jobs at the moment and she knew I'd spent the afternoon working on my resume. I came home with a tea anyway and since I was happy with the resume, I didn't bother to recheck it, I had no idea someone would change it to garlic bread while I was gone.

[00:58:50] [SPEAKER_00] I sent it to multiple job applications from an online hiring site which had places hiring in my town. I'd say I sent this garlic bread resume to about 20 to 30 institutions in total. It was only after I sent them that I decided to recheck my resume. When I noticed the horrific alteration, I'm absolutely mortified. I immediately confronted my sister about it, getting a strong sixth sense that she was the most likely culprit. And she thought it was fucking hilarious.

[00:59:18] [SPEAKER_00] She literally laughed until she cried while I was standing there nearly crying from stress and mortification. My sister has always been a joker and she gets away with bloody murder. But this was so serious. I'm sick of her pulling off this shite to everyone around her, thinking it's funny or cool or something. It was only when I explained to her the full seriousness of the situation and that I had sent it to 20 to 30 places that she copped on and apologized.

[00:59:44] [SPEAKER_00] Not sure if she was being genuine but the words, I'm sorry, definitely left her mouth. Then she had the audacity to blame me for it, asking me why I hadn't checked it before sending it off. I screamed at her that I checked it multiple times before leaving to get tea and didn't expect anyone to change it while I was gone. She then backpedaled and insisted that she meant it as a joke like, Just a prank brah mentality. But I'm having none of it. I don't know what the hell to do now and rectify the situation. I've never job hunted before.

[01:00:14] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know how serious this stupid mistake is. I live in a large enough Irish town but small enough for businesses to spread gossip. So I'm terrified they're all no not to hire the garlic bread girl. Should I email the places I applied to explaining the situation or will I sound like a complete knob? Technically, it is true garlic bread is a passion of mine simply because it's delicious. But obviously it's not resume worthy. The businesses probably think I'm taking the piss and it's extremely unprofessional.

[01:00:44] [SPEAKER_00] I'm so annoyed that this is my first impression in the working world. I'm not even hired and I've fucked up already. Should I resend them my application with my resume fixed? Should I move on and forget about the places I applied and apply to new businesses with a rectified resume? Should I just fucking move town at this point since I've clearly made a fool of myself already? Also, how do I talk to my parents or sister about her stupid spoiled bratty behavior?

[01:01:10] [SPEAKER_00] I've only ever been like a manager once and had to check out a couple of resumes or CVs in my time. Not a whole bunch of them. And I ain't got a wild bunch of experience, but I had to read. I can't remember how many it was when we was trying to hire someone. And I had to do it in the second job as well. Helping my manager to try and find someone that would be that sort of mesh with me and my skills to do what we needed to do. And they are so boring to read.

[01:01:37] [SPEAKER_00] Like I said, I was no expert at it at all. I just had to sort of read between the lines because you've got some people who totally embellish it. Some people who play themselves down. But there's always one CV that stands out to me because they had a list of their gaming achievements in there. But that instantly made me go, I want to talk to that person. Unfortunately, they didn't get hired. I wasn't selected in the end. So it was certainly an interesting CV. I can see why you're pissed off about this.

[01:02:05] [SPEAKER_00] Having, you know, someone going onto your laptop, changing something, which is really important to you. If I was reading through these resumes, as you're going through them and you do a double take on garlic bread, and you're like, holy shit. Yeah, I like garlic bread too. Kitty says hiring manager here. Considering you're 18 and applying for assuming retail fast food customer service type of jobs. No one is going to disqualify you for the garlic bread. If anything, it may have the opposite effect.

[01:02:33] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe they'll make someone laugh and intrigue them enough to schedule you for an interview, despite your lack of experience. Hiring managers look at dozens upon dozens of resumes a day. A professional resume is great, but chances are it's generic and something we've seen a thousand times. Uninteresting. Again, speaking given your age and lack of experience. Don't bother emailing an apology. It won't matter. Write it out. You'll most likely get a call back for adding humor onto your resume,

[01:03:00] [SPEAKER_00] while the other hundred of the resumes all read the same. Another commenter says, you know, don't bother changing it and, you know, talks about the sister. OP says, yeah, I feel so done with her. I've password protected everything before, but this is the one time that I left my laptop open. I've spoken to my parents and I sense that she'd get a right bollocking because of this. It'll make a funny story in the future, but it's not funny now at all. And that's seriously affected my mindset and dignity about job hunting right now.

[01:03:28] [SPEAKER_00] And because there's a comment below this who says, forgive me, I'm an American. A right bollocking sounds sexual. Am I misunderstanding the slang here? Just to let you know, a bollocking is like getting told off, getting lectured. I'm going to give you a right bollocking. If you're angry at someone, you're going to tell them off. You're going to give them a right bollocking. Someone mentioned below that, that it sounds like sexual and I just thought, oof. When you think of it like that, it sounds awful.

[01:03:57] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now this one's coming from the today I fucked up subreddit. Embers guy who says, today I fucked up by peeing my pants in front of my date. Embarrassing as heck guys. I feel disgusted. A real today I fucked up on all levels. I 23 male have liked this girl 23 for around three years now.

[01:04:27] [SPEAKER_00] We're in the same university classes and even during the pandemic when I barely saw her, I was still crushing on her. I asked her out last week and was over the moon when she agreed. Today we met up in a nearby restaurant and, that's where this all started. I have this condition called pyoresis, shy bladder syndrome, where I just am not physically able to pee if other people are around in public bathrooms. Even if I really have to go, I just can't.

[01:04:53] [SPEAKER_00] So, because of my nerves and because of how hot it is and the amount of water I stupidly drank, I ended up going to the bathroom several times but of course, couldn't pee. Then she told me that if I was not feeling okay, it would be totally fine to go home. I agreed and apologized to her. She ended up paying the bill. It's so sweet but damn, I really have to pay her back. And we got out. It was somewhere in the parking lot where it happened. I just could not hold it back.

[01:05:22] [SPEAKER_00] I just stood there, traumatized. I did not know this girl well enough but I was prepared to get ridiculed. She first went, oh my god, are you okay? Then started stroking my back and took off her jacket and put it around me. She told me it could happen to anyone and I should come to her place which was a two minute walk where I could shower. I did agree on it because I felt like a disgusting mess. We went to her place and well actually it turned out to be an amazing day.

[01:05:49] [SPEAKER_00] I showered, we watched some cartoons till my clothes were dry, talked about life and deep shit and she got us ice cream. I know she was trying to make me feel better and I love her for that but still, I was dying inside. I just left an hour ago because she needs to work in the evening and night. I was at the door when she hugged me and said it was a good day and to repeat it again soon. This was embarrassing as heck but for the first time in my life I was not mocked or ridiculed. Even my parents would laugh at me.

[01:06:17] [SPEAKER_00] I feel like I hit the jackpot now and it kind of feels surreal, she was so damn sweet and reacted this way. Like, wow. How could she be this amazing? How could she like me? I bet she doesn't and just didn't want to make it worse for me today. That's probably it. Anyhow, that's how today I fucked up. Guess now I really have to step up my game to make things right with her. The fella comes in with an update shortly after and says, Guys, a few minutes ago she texted me that she is at work and asked me how I'm doing.

[01:06:47] [SPEAKER_00] Then she says for the next day let's go somewhere in nature to a quiet place or whatever place is comfortable to you. And ask when I have time. And I'm seriously shaking. This is absolutely the best ever. Is this even really happening? There is some chance out there for her to be my girlfriend and it's surreal. And OP gives a final update and says, Our second date is set now and I know for sure I won't ruin it. This girl is more than amazing but so are you guys. Thanks a lot for all your kind, positive and heartwarming comments.

[01:07:17] [SPEAKER_00] I'll make sure I show it to her. Can't believe this is happening and we're going out again. Thanks to all of you and have a very, very great day. Totally forgot to say but some people are so I'll mention it here too. She knows I have the pyresis. I told her when I was at her place. She proceeded to look up more info about it and how it can be treated and was super supportive. She's totally the best. Never give up. Someone will accept and love you for who you are.

[01:07:44] [SPEAKER_00] What a lovely story with a lovely update attached to it. You know, you didn't fuck up in the first place. Although you see it as a fuck up, it's not really a fuck up. You know, that's a medical condition. But her reaction with empathy is just absolutely what the world needs. But what do you guys make of that situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[01:08:09] [SPEAKER_00] Our next story comes from Throwaway London Mum from the Relationship Advice subreddit and says I, female 44, hired an investigator and have discovered my husband's male 47 affair and sex addiction. What on earth do I do next? My husband, male 47, and I, female 44, have been married for just over a decade. And it's been, for the most part, a loving marriage centered around our two beautiful children.

[01:08:38] [SPEAKER_00] Of course, I've had grievances. He travels a lot for work, is constantly glued to his phone, and sometimes would abruptly pop out for errands. That he has always been incredibly vague about. Initially, these didn't concern me too much. He has a very demanding job that has allowed us to have a lifestyle I never thought possible. Meant that I could leave work to be with the children. Take us on wonderful holidays. Send children to a great school.

[01:09:04] [SPEAKER_00] I always felt that complaining to him about his work, phone, computer and random emergencies would be so selfish considering everything he does for us. However, two weeks ago, I started getting really suspicious after I'd found a condom inside the pocket of his blazer. There was no reason for him to have it there, as we only have sex at home and frankly, it isn't something we do as often as we used to. This prompted me to do something I never thought I would do.

[01:09:31] [SPEAKER_00] But I found an opportunity to get into his phone when he wasn't looking. I'm not sure what I was looking for. I first looked at his photos but couldn't find anything. Then I thought I would check his messaging apps. WhatsApp, Telegram, both were password locked, which I found very odd. Only iMessage could be accessed. But there was barely anything there. At this point, I had a sinking feeling something was up.

[01:09:56] [SPEAKER_00] Last year, a friend was in a similar situation and used a digital investigator to learn more about her absent and secretive fiancee. The investigator found out that this man had been living a complete double life with a long term girlfriend in Edinburgh and unbelievably, a whole business he had set up and was earning money from. She had no idea about the business or all the money he was earning from it and no doubt spending on his girlfriend.

[01:10:21] [SPEAKER_00] I asked for the investigator's details and requested that they pull together anything and everything they could find about my husband. The investigator spent about a week digging online and came back to me with a report that changed my life forever. I got a call from the investigator warning me that my husband's report would be a very difficult read and I should open it in private at a time and I would be able to process it fully.

[01:10:45] [SPEAKER_00] Since I received it, I have barely been able to eat, sleep, properly take care of the kids or speak to him. And yet he is so absent-minded he doesn't even realize something is wrong. It turns out that my husband of over 10 years has been 1. Having an affair with a woman 15 years his junior 2. Financing this woman's lifestyle and her failed business venture 3. Attending sex parties with her, worthy of sex with other partners

[01:11:14] [SPEAKER_00] 4. Posting in a revolting online sex forum, including pictures of his genitals and details his addiction to porn and escorts to his creepy online friends 5. Based on this post online, has clearly been spending thousands on escorts as far back as 7 years ago I have no idea where to go from here. I don't know what to do I have no idea how to confront him about this or if I should see a lawyer first

[01:11:40] [SPEAKER_00] I know the obvious decision is to simply divorce, but our children are 9 and 7 I have loved him since we first met 14 years ago And I know that I have a place in his heart too In spite of these actions, if he is truly an addict Then maybe there is a way to get through this if he agrees to treatment I am a complete mess and I can't talk about this to anyone in person just yet Any advice you have for me would be really appreciated

[01:12:07] [SPEAKER_00] The top commenter said on this one, therapy will not work because he clearly is revelling in his addiction and secret lifestyle And he shows little remorse for it Escorts, sex parties and financing a mistress is way too far That man does not love you You are a living caretaker for his children and home that he occasionally has sex with too Lawyer up, protect your own finances and lifestyle and your children's future Chuffed to the muff says This is true I have someone who was in this exact situation

[01:12:37] [SPEAKER_00] And later found out the man had exposed the kids to porn And also molested one of them The person OP thought she married does not exist And has a mask for the real man who is cheating, lying and stealing time and financial resources from the family To pursue his own selfish desires Couples therapy does not work for these kind of people It only helps them manipulate others and shift blame better using therapy speak And the hopeful and forgiving nature of their partners It's going to be hard

[01:13:05] [SPEAKER_00] But the sooner OP comes to the realisation that she no knows who he really is And this is not some aberration of behaviour The better for her and the kids Buddy Inevitable says 1. Talk to a lawyer before you do anything 2. No, this is not something that will be fixed or cured via therapy Therapy only works if the person does the work It isn't a magical cure that resolves giant issues just because you schedule an appointment and show up

[01:13:30] [SPEAKER_00] The reality is you have been married to someone who is capable and willing to lie to your face systematically Therapy doesn't just fix that In fact, if he has a personality disorder Which I suspect based on your post about his behaviour He likely will never change 3. Do more research into pathological love relationships Briefly, ask yourself these questions Does he have difficulties with empathy? Egotism? Exploitativeness? A grandised sense of self?

[01:13:59] [SPEAKER_00] Distorted perceptions of self and others? Self-serving? Boundary violations? Blame shifting? Low remorse? Low accountability? Motivated by power? Control? Personal gain? Just a brief place to start exploring who you are actually married to 4. Talk to a lawyer and a therapist before doing anything Someone who specialises in pathological love relationships ideally And for me it always comes down to that trust in the end

[01:14:25] [SPEAKER_00] How do you trust someone who's done that time and time again? And I can just never see a way past that I know it's not the point And I'm not trying to play down the situation or anything like that But who the bloody hell's got time for that sort of stuff? It just sounds exhausting But OP comes in with an update and says This is an update to my original post from around a month ago Firstly I'd like to just thank almost every single one of you Who have commented to leave me advice or message me privately

[01:14:53] [SPEAKER_00] I took a lot of advice on board Especially legal speaking And this has proven to be of great benefit I apologise for my long absence and lack of replies I hope the update below can explain it I chose to wait until after New Years As I did not want to rob the children of one last Christmas And New Years holiday as a family In the meantime I researched solicitors And sought recommendations from trusted friends Rather humiliatingly I did after much urging on this website

[01:15:21] [SPEAKER_00] Also schedule and go through with an STI test It was horrifically embarrassing But I'm relieved to say that it came negative I don't know how I could have coped If he had gotten me sick because of his revolting actions He made my job incredibly easy by flying out for a work trip Not that anything he says could ever be trusted On the second And I immediately got the ball rolling Met with a solicitor Packed up all of his belongings into six suitcases Had changed the locks And spoke to a child psychologist

[01:15:50] [SPEAKER_00] To work out the best way to explain things to the kids Who are far too young to understand the full picture of course Fast forward to a week later And upon his return I Having made sure the children were picked up by my mother After school Greeted him in the hallway Full of suitcases and divorce papers I'd printed out the report in full And started walking him through it Before he started breaking down in tears It was a compulsion He was unbelievably stressed And that if I left him

[01:16:18] [SPEAKER_00] He would have no choice but to marry the other woman What? Whereas he would end it immediately If I would have taken back The last part was truly the nail in the coffin I don't think he even realised just how manipulative a comment that was to make After hours of back and forth and of his grovelling He gave up He was left at the bottom of the stairs in the entrance to our home with his suitcases Waiting for a cab to take him God knows where There is still a lengthy legal process ahead

[01:16:46] [SPEAKER_00] And unfortunately it turns out that him being unfaithful etc Doesn't really impact how assets might be divided following the legal battle However I'm confident that my solicitor will get the outcome I need to keep the house And live independently In terms of the children I'd rather not discuss them so as to keep it private But it's been an incredibly difficult adjustment and sometimes I do feel guilty As for myself I'm still completely heartbroken And frankly I don't ever hope to find love again

[01:17:14] [SPEAKER_00] I just don't think I can quite trust like that again Finally I'd just like to add that while most comments have been lovely and supportive I did get a number of comments and private messages blaming me for my soon to be ex-husband's behaviour Claiming I did not give him sufficient sexual attention And that I shouldn't complain because he provided me with a certain lifestyle Firstly these comments are awful and portray a repulsive world view with regards to sex, intimacy and marriage

[01:17:42] [SPEAKER_00] Secondly our ailing sex life was not my doing And was at times and criticism I myself had of our relationship Not the other way around Thirdly just because someone provides you with a lifestyle Doesn't entitle them to treat you as if you were nothing With no respect and no honesty I would have hoped all would be aware of that Absolutely you did the correct thing in this situation And was left with little choice What was that comment he made though?

[01:18:09] [SPEAKER_00] Like you said it just felt like pure manipulation That if you left him he'd have no choice but to marry the other woman It's like well crack on then And of course it's going to be sad for the children for some time They're having to adjust They're not seeing the full scale of what's going on But whatever happens going forward OP I really do wish you all the best You said you don't ever hope to find love again I mean it sounds to me it's your future You need to do what you need to do however you feel etc

[01:18:38] [SPEAKER_00] But it just feels like everything's pretty raw at the moment And of course it would be Holy shit discovering all that Of course it's going to hurt And it's going to take some time But I really do wish you the best moving forward But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below And let's move on to another story And before we do get into the next story There is a trigger warning on it of body shaming So if you do want to skip it please feel free to do so Timestamps are always down in the description

[01:19:08] [SPEAKER_00] And on the timeline below This one's from Coco Oh No Throwaway Who says Can you ask someone to lose weight for your wedding? My friend 33 female is a personal trainer And just got engaged to another personal trainer All of their friends were met through the gym that they both work at I've known her since we were both 5 I'm not a personal trainer I'm a US size 10 So I'm not obese but I'm definitely on the fatter size

[01:19:36] [SPEAKER_00] I'm very comfortable with who I am And my doctor is too Well tonight she called me with the best news Her fiancé and her are putting together a great workout and meal plan together for me They figure if I drop 20 to 30 pounds the wedding pictures will be more symmetric She was so happy and excited like she was doing me a favour I wasn't even sure what to say So I just hung up and haven't responded I'm completely flabbergasted

[01:20:04] [SPEAKER_00] This isn't a situation where I constantly bitch about my weight And then get mad when someone offers to help I've never asked for help I've never mentioned wanting to lose weight They both just kind of took it upon themselves to help me Obviously I'm going to opt out of being a maid of honour But at this point I'm not even sure I want to go now How would anyone think this was okay? I honestly have no idea how to discuss this with her I feel like it's much more the fiancé than her

[01:20:32] [SPEAKER_00] How are these people real man? How do you ask a question like that? You sit there, you discuss it with someone And at no point you say to one another That's a fucked up thing to ask someone isn't it? You sit there and you talk about it And you think I wonder if this is going to offend that person How does that not cross your mind? Is this the right thing to be saying to someone? Should we be doing this? Hell no I am pissed off for you And you're absolutely right to step down as maid of honour

[01:20:59] [SPEAKER_00] And if I was you, I wouldn't just put this down to just a fiancé as well You know, she's got a part in this She's discussed this She's come up with this plan at the same time And that's your friend of nearly 30 years chose to make this call The only weight you need to lose is that bloody friendship Ooh, sassy Mark Clev and Kat says Call her back and tell her you thought about her symmetry issue And have decided you can just be in the centre of every picture to make it even No weight loss needed

[01:21:27] [SPEAKER_00] Which OP laughs to Upvote giver says She should be to your left and husband to the right Douche on both sides is symmetric Unscripted mischief says What the actual fuck? No, that's not okay A real friend would never ask that of you either OP responds saying That's why I'm so flabbergasted I've been best friends with her since I was five Almost 30 years And either the fiancé is a lot more controlling than I realised Or she's not the friend I thought she was

[01:21:57] [SPEAKER_00] Just my impression says So they care about symmetrics more than the friendship All about image No friend I've declined to participate That is so callous and inappropriate of them But you sure sound like a great friend OP OP says I text her last exactly what I thought And said not to waste money on sending me an invite Well, we'll be busy that weekend My husband wants to get a sitter and find a nude beach somewhere to show me off in Lol Koto says What did she say back to this?

[01:22:27] [SPEAKER_00] We need updates OP says Happy cake day Honestly, I have 47 unread texts now and a voicemail saying that she made the front page of Reddit And that's not what she meant So much for a throwaway account Lol Oh well But to answer your question I have no idea I chose to walk away for a few hours to make sure I handle everything with a completely calm head Gilbo Wagon says And quotes They figure if I drop 20 to 30 pounds the wedding pictures will be more symmetric And then says

[01:22:57] [SPEAKER_00] Oh fuck her You add me at a taco says Seriously fuck her so much This was such an asshole move I'm so shocked that this trainer friend thought this was remotely okay Piccadilly Porch says Trainers and elite athletes are the worst for this though They're just trying to help And they see it as the same as a friend with a truck helping you move They have something, you need something, so of course they help They have no idea how condescending and judgmental it sounds As if we're such idiots

[01:23:27] [SPEAKER_00] We did not think trying to eat healthy and exercising without them suggesting it I'm surrounded by elite runners in my life And I guess I'm a bit bitter about people endlessly trying to get me to run Because they're just trying to help Opie responds saying I texted her last night And she tried to say she really thought I was just too embarrassed to ask for help And this was the time to do it So I told her not to waste money on sending me an official invite And it was time to find a new maid of honour Tom Jones says

[01:23:56] [SPEAKER_00] That's like a drug counsellor thinking you were too embarrassed to ask for help With a meth problem you don't have Opie says Oh my god I need to tell her this So Opie did come in with their update And they said so Wow That post blew up I ended up deleting it because my friend lost her business over it She had told a few of her close clients her plan When it blew up and ended up on Facebook via different news outlets They were able to put two and two together

[01:24:24] [SPEAKER_00] They decided they didn't want her to be their personal trainer any longer That was never ever my intention What do I feel bad? Play stupid games and win stupid prizes Anyway Her and I talked in length She admitted her true motivation was having before my wedding photos and after pictures Her wedding of a normal mum transformed into a fit mum She was also planning on having crop top dresses

[01:24:51] [SPEAKER_00] After three pregnancies my abs are quite separated and she wanted to help She realized her motivations were selfish She knew I would decline so she'd hope presented this way I would do it for her But yeah Her concern was never my health She admitted that multiple times To address a few things $2,500 plane tickets were for a family of five I've also never hinted at wanting to lose weight

[01:25:19] [SPEAKER_00] She knows I'm very comfortable with who I am Also my doctor is very happy with where I stand I received many very strange messages and comments telling me my doctor is lying to me I can assure you My doctor would make a lot more money telling me I was fat and needing to run extra tests So he's not going to lie about my health That's about the exact opposite of what a doctor does My husband is not a sexist pig for saying he wanted to show me off at a nude beach He's my biggest supporter

[01:25:47] [SPEAKER_00] He just meant that I don't need to hide and I'm beautiful the way I am The fiance wasn't behind this but he's pissed that I wouldn't just do it for her He literally said Tell her anything over a size 4 is disgusting Oh deary me In the background when I spoke to her So good luck with your winner there After we spoke I've decided that I'm just going to go to the wedding and not be in the wedding My family will stay home She feels terrible but we've been friends for almost 30 years

[01:26:17] [SPEAKER_00] I'm also not going to fly out for her showers and bachelorette Which I would have done otherwise This really put our friendship in perspective for me She had stepped back a little since she got serious with her fiance and I didn't realize the extent of it She has some strong views on hating anyone over a size 4 and I realized she slowly picked these up as well I have no idea what the friendship holds after this but I still want to be there to cheer her on for the wedding But I don't have to be immersed in every aspect

[01:26:46] [SPEAKER_00] MM172 quotes OP saying I've decided that I'm going to go to the wedding and says Wow, all I can say is that you're a way nicer person than me Because if the original proposition wasn't enough to end the friendship Finding out I've been made the centerpiece of a promotional campaign without any input on my part would have sealed the deal OP says I'm trying to be the bigger Ha! Person here Honestly, this may be the beginning of the end of our friendship altogether Or we may be friends for another 30 years

[01:27:15] [SPEAKER_00] I want to go Just in case we do end up getting closer again If we don't, it's a weekend in my hometown with no kids and free booze FaggoNutsForSale says What about the $2,500 in plane tickets? OP says Only I'm going so it's only $500 for my ticket Plus if it's just me I have places I can stay without putting people out Don't have to rent a car to accommodate everyone Idler2 says In quotes he has some strong views on hating anyone over size 4

[01:27:45] [SPEAKER_00] And I realize that she's slowly picked these up as well Men says As someone who's very much into powerlifting and looking good Absolutely fuck this guy He's an utter and complete douchebag OP says I feel like a douchebag is the nicest term I would use for him I didn't think about it until all of this came up It says cake up and I immediately I can't stop thinking about cake now But the last few times I visited her at her house She was dressed to the nines and a full face of makeup every second

[01:28:15] [SPEAKER_00] When she visited me without him I don't think she wore anything but yoga pants and her hair up So there's a lot going on there The late lady says Thanks for the update And I hope you're able to be there When her marriage to this jerk disintegrates OP says This was the main reason I want to go to the wedding He may not have spearheaded this But his ideals are definitely a factor If she gains weight during a pregnancy or something I have a feeling he'd be less than supportive If this all crumbles I want her to know I'll still be there

[01:28:44] [SPEAKER_00] If you knew her before him This whole thing would have been shocking to you So there's still hope She'll find herself again Like the one commenter said I think you're a better person than me OP But I can certainly understand your concerns about this Especially the way that the fiance or husband Future husband has come into this With his views And especially him being a personal trainer as well With the mindset he has And he's going to be pushing this onto people And the potential damage he could cause With the way he talks

[01:29:14] [SPEAKER_00] Saying anything over this is disgusting etc If he talks to clients in that way Fucking hell I understand where OP is coming from We talk a lot about leaving the door open for friends Who's you know potentially in relationships That look a bit iffy when you're outside looking in Yes she's been absolutely fucking awful to OP And like I said I think OP is a better person than me Because I don't think I'll be talking to her right now But OP knows her friends She's been with her for 30 years She says this is shocking behaviour

[01:29:42] [SPEAKER_00] So I can understand where she's coming from Fair play to her for that But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Our next story comes from I Cut Waffles From the relationship advice subreddit And it says My brother 18 Has been poisoning my girlfriend 24 For the past 3 years It starts off She's always been allergic to lactose very severely To the point where

[01:30:10] [SPEAKER_00] If she had any traces in her food She would basically shit herself on the spot Ever since she was a kid My brother and I have always been on good terms And always hanged out together until 3 years ago When I met my girlfriend He started getting more distant and mean towards me Talking about how she's ruining our bro ship And taking me away from our family and him I told him he was crazy And didn't think too much of it until recently Going back to 3 years ago

[01:30:40] [SPEAKER_00] When I introduced Katie to my parents He was livid I moved out about 6 months later Because I was tired of his constant bitching About her coming over to sleep and hang out Ever since then We would have family dinners at my parents Every month on Sundays My family is Italian So we eat a lot of pasta And sauce Relevant My parents always made 2 separate meals Ever since they met her One with no milk And lactose free milk for Katie And one for the rest of us

[01:31:09] [SPEAKER_00] She never had issues Unless there was an accidental cross contamination Which happened every so often The problem was Every month at those dinners She was getting sick to the point of rushing to the bathroom And having excruciating diarrhea for an hour With severe cramps Every single time At one point I started refusing to go And my parents kept insisting So I gave it another try It was fine for a few months And then it started again This goes on and off for 2 and a half years

[01:31:38] [SPEAKER_00] I got really mad last week And got up in the middle of dinner And said to my parents Something is up And someone is messing with Katie's food My parents go quiet And ask me why I would say that My brother turns rather pale And stopped smiling I knew it was him I confronted him And he started crying Saying he felt like he had to get pay back at her For stealing away his big brother That it wasn't fair He said he was adding milk to the batch made for her And he had no regrets

[01:32:06] [SPEAKER_00] I was absolutely livid Katie as well She excused herself And asked me to drive her back to our place It's been 3 months And she cut contact with my parents Katie refuses to talk to them anymore Because they should have had my brother in check And given him a worse punishment He literally got a talk A smack behind the head And that was it And said she can't believe I didn't stop talking to them as well My parents on the other hand Are mad that we let this little incident

[01:32:35] [SPEAKER_00] Break our relationships My girlfriend says if I keep contacting them And insisting she forgives my brother She's going to leave me I love this girl to death We've got plans to buy a house eventually And have kids On the other hand I love my parents too But I can't have both anymore What should I do? Absolutely no She's totally right to be cut in contact with them And the family Who's just downplaying this kind of behaviour Causing her severe pain And distress

[01:33:04] [SPEAKER_00] And the reason Because he was jealous And them just playing it down Like almost like Oh that little tyke What's he doing now? Kind of thing That is incredibly dangerous behaviour And I would say Anyone who's minimising years Of intentional poisoning As a little incident Isn't safe to be around either But SofaKingGreat says Your brother is an evil, selfish, petty little fuck And you should distance yourself from him Until he grows the fuck up

[01:33:33] [SPEAKER_00] You didn't ruin your broship with him He did Bangbang says right I'd point out to the brother And how because of his actions Their relationship will never be the same Even if he does choose to forgive him And continue having a relationship The trust is obliterated And I would make sure to point out to him That it is a big if In regards to continuing the relationship Sunflower says in quotes My girlfriend says If I keep contacting them

[01:34:02] [SPEAKER_00] And insisting she forgives my brother She's going to leave me And says I don't blame her Why would she want to forgive Or speak to people Who would sweep your brother's Horrible behaviour under the rug Your parents had to know He was doing it That's why they asked you Why you thought that Instead of immediately denying it She has a choice Either she stays away from them entirely Or she bounces So OP came in With their update And said I've read over 200 comments from you guys

[01:34:32] [SPEAKER_00] And it just validated my mind That my family is fucked up I contacted my mum And confronted her about Why she would defend My idiotic brother And she basically said He was young And stupid I told her a few of your comments And that Katie could press charges And she broke down crying Saying he won't do it again Hell no he won't Because I told her I decided to cut them off for good Katie was actually relieved When I told her That I was on her side And cut them off Basically told me

[01:35:01] [SPEAKER_00] She was going to dump me For being an idiot Who couldn't support His girlfriend of 3 years When she was basically Being tortured for fun I'm just glad she didn't And that we're getting Through this together Thank you guys For every comment Even the ones calling me out For being an idiot Trying to make Katie Forgive my brother For the horrible things he did When you're faced With this kind of dilemma And you've been close To your family for over 20 years You get blindsided So me and Katie Cut them out starting today And we plan to move To the USA next year

[01:35:31] [SPEAKER_00] We always wanted to live there And finally be away from them The top commenter on this one said A happy ending was never in the works But you managed to find the best possible outcome Your brother is really fucked Your brother really fucked you Your girl And your family over Your parents position is ridiculous I could understand maybe being forgiven If he had done this once at 15 But he'd been doing it for fucking years He's seen the results of how sick she got

[01:35:59] [SPEAKER_00] He did it most recently at 18 That's an adult That's an adult Fuck him I'm glad you're able to come to this conclusion Before your relationship ended over it I think you made the right call Opie says The comments really hit me hard Sometimes seeing it from someone else's perspective Really opened your eyes But now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below And let's move on to another story This one's from Lemony

[01:36:29] [SPEAKER_00] And it comes with an update That's 7 years later It's titled I, 22 female Have been with my boyfriend 23 male For 2 and a half years And I'm unsure if my views on monogamy Will ever perfectly align with his This has been weighing on me For a very long time For about the entire duration Of my 2 and a half year long relationship And I've never talked to anyone about this I found out my boyfriend Had been cheating Maybe 6 months prior into our relationship

[01:36:58] [SPEAKER_00] What ensued for about the next year and a half Was an endless cycle of him cheating And then displaying a dramatic gesture of guilt And promising he'll change This made my last year of college Quite miserable It seemed like once a month My roommates would drunkenly sit me down On a Saturday night And tell me They saw him doing Insert any promiscuous activity With someone Needless to say It was humiliating I spent late nights Taking care of him While he was incomprehensibly drunk

[01:37:27] [SPEAKER_00] He would lash out at me And then apologize And repeat This sounds like a case closed right? All of this breaking and mending of trust Truly broke me I started picking fights And being an overall angry And irrational person towards him I resented him more than I have resented anyone in my life The problem is I also loved him deeply I know this is a played out and really dumb justification Of being in an unhealthy relationship But the good times were really good

[01:37:58] [SPEAKER_00] We have a lot of fun together And he always has assured me that he loves me So I kept going back Still Should be case closed right? The last day of college He was moving out He did that familiar thing That is dramatically displaying his love for me And telling me That things were going to be different At this point I feel so broken That it doesn't even matter If he keeps cheating It's normal now I get hurt I try to forgive And I resent It's familiar and comfortable And the thought of breaking up

[01:38:27] [SPEAKER_00] Still puts rotten feelings in my stomach Since that last day He's started to actually change He explained that he doesn't believe In monogamous relationships And often lashed out as a result Of feeling forced into one His destructive and inflammatory behaviour stopped He's living healthier And he seems overall happier So I took a crack at an open relationship Basically I went on two Tinder dates Hooked up on one of them But didn't really enjoy myself I feel so much more happy

[01:38:57] [SPEAKER_00] And at ease being romantically involved With someone with whom I have a deep connection Than just acting on physical connection Not only did I find it particularly exhausting But it didn't feel like I was doing it For the right reasons It only felt like I was trying to get back At my boyfriend After all the push and pull And manipulation I can't shake the resentment I have towards him I really do want to try To completely forgive And stay in his life However it seems the only way that can happen As if I am content With an open relationship

[01:39:25] [SPEAKER_00] And I still can't tell if I am or not Maybe it's just too soon And the wounds haven't healed you know I'm confused Because he openly tells me About any hooking up that he does He recently kissed a good friend of his Which is what prompted this post And I'm not sure if what I feel is jealousy In that present moment Or if it sends my emotions back To the really bad paranoia filled days When I was never told the truth It could be a little of both But either way It doesn't feel great But also not necessarily terrible

[01:39:55] [SPEAKER_00] I'll be honest It feels a lot better now That he doesn't hide any of it from me I know that the healthiest thing to do here Is just to break it off There's been too much broken trust And too much negativity For this to mend itself But I'm sure many of you know It's not that easy We care about each other deeply We enjoy each other's company And pretty much Never stop smiling and laughing When we're together And I feel like now Since we're both trying to focus on happiness And positivity Things could get better quickly

[01:40:24] [SPEAKER_00] If only I could make up my mind On how I feel about this And at this point It feels impossible to break up Unless I have some eternal sunshine Of this spotless mind like mechanism I care very much about this person And I feel like I'd do anything to make it work Also, I'm aware that I've been pretty foolish up to this point I can't seem to justify to myself Or anyone else my desire to stay in the relationship And I also can't bring myself to leave Perhaps I've put too much faith into one person

[01:40:53] [SPEAKER_00] I'm hoping that feedback on this will bring me more clarity Whether that's telling me I'm an idiot And should leave immediately Or that things are looking up And it will work out in time I welcome and appreciate it What would you make out of all of this? What would you do? Do I just lack all self-respect? Or is there anything potentially redeeming About my excessive hope and undeserved trust? The top commenter said to OP Nobody here can make you break up with him If he's been treating you like that for years

[01:41:22] [SPEAKER_00] And you keep taking it I don't think anything anyone says will make a difference I will say, I think what you're doing is what most people in your situation are doing And it's like an extreme form of procrastination You don't want to deal with what seems like a huge problem The break up, sadness, parting ways, starting over So instead you're putting it off and ignoring it Knowing on some level you're making an even bigger unfixable problem for yourself A serial cheating boyfriend Constant embarrassment from friends and family

[01:41:51] [SPEAKER_00] A lifetime of unhappiness So deal with the break up now Or deal with everything else I don't know The break is immediate great pain now But definitely better than the life you're setting yourself up for OP says I know you're right Actually doing it sounds like such a big hurdle And I'll probably fight with myself about it some more But I know with full clarity that you are right I totally agree with that comment They said like procrastination And in some ways for me I put it into normalization You settled into this

[01:42:21] [SPEAKER_00] You think this is your normal And it's hard to see past it Like picture things in my mind It's like a grey mist all the way around you You can't see past it You can't see what the future is And it's difficult to take that leap out through the mist Because you don't know what's on the other side And it's scary But you should tell yourself You deserve a whole lot better than what you've got right now I mean that is rock bottom isn't it? But a commenter says I mean he just doesn't sound like the guy for you

[01:42:48] [SPEAKER_00] Or many others who want stability in a relationship But anywho He sounds extremely selfish and self-serving This relationship does not sound fulfilling to you at all Try to picture what your best future relationship could look like with person X Somebody you don't yet know In this hypothetical relationship I don't think you'd be feeling the negative emotions you're feeling now That's not what you aspire to or what you need You're a loyal person But your loyalty is misplaced in your current relationship

[01:43:16] [SPEAKER_00] Find somebody who really values and appreciates it Not just to their own selfish ends And honours you You are also at the right age To learn that your feelings such as love and self-sacrifice Are not always enough to sustain a relationship Sometimes relationships don't work out But you can move on to a better one Stop treating him like some kind of addiction that you need But is actually bad for you And trust yourself to move on And that the future will be better

[01:43:43] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says this is the most constructive and helpful thing I've read so far So thank you I understand that I'm far from where I need to be I've handled breakups in the past fairly well Even one longer than this one I've just never felt paralysis and hopefulness on this scale before I know he's treated me like garbage And I know what I should do But this whole situation honestly has clouded my judgement So densely that I make a million and a half excuses to stay Which is clearly evident in my original post

[01:44:11] [SPEAKER_00] That's what I get for never letting these thoughts leave my own head until now God this is fucked up In any case This made me feel a half percent more confident And I appreciate it So Opie came into the post Seven years later And says trying this again since I broke a post rule the first time And here was the original post Not that I tried very hard to find it before now But curiosity got the best of me after recalling a bunch of well meaning strangers

[01:44:39] [SPEAKER_00] Basically responding what the fuck The feeling of shame was visceral I fully understood I was in an effed up relationship But couldn't find the courage or self respect to leave It was this immense dissonance that I can't describe to this day And I have a hard time talking about it in therapy still It was just surreal And painful Reading it There was a few very compassionate yet stern comments Which I'm grateful for in retrospect Anyway I 29 female

[01:45:08] [SPEAKER_00] Am now married to the most wonderful Caring loving respectful Sweet person on the planet 31 male I'm excited to have a future with Instead of being full of dread We've been together for 5 years And married for a few months And I'm really happy That post feels like it was written by a different person In a different lifetime Life feels so much lighter than it used to There's no other point to this post Except maybe to comment that manipulation Is one hell of a drug So of course someone says

[01:45:37] [SPEAKER_00] That's so nice to hear How did you get out? Opie says I would have loved to say That I wised up and did it myself Lol But obviously I was in very deep And it took him breaking it off Because it just reached ungodly levels of misery and resentment I guess I will never know If I would have come to the same conclusion myself But I'd really hope so I tried to have compassion for my past self And remind myself that my view of relationships Had been really warped at the time And all judgement was just so cloudy

[01:46:05] [SPEAKER_00] The commenter says to AP Now that you have more perspective You understand what it was that made you love him so deeply In spite of everything OP says I think I can attribute a lot to low self esteem I sort of put him on this pedestal of Smarter than me and better than me in all aspects from the start So when things started to fall apart In my mind it was obviously because of something I was doing Not him After so many times of him cheating and making excuses for him I started to feel a lot of shame

[01:46:33] [SPEAKER_00] Because I knew deep down I was being foolish Which made me defensive of the relationship Like when my friends would confront me about it In my head I would just be like They don't get it They're not in this relationship so they don't understand It was easier to hold the mirror up to others Than to myself so I would just dig my heels in It was always I just need to change something about myself for this to work But it will work Which I think is evident in my original post So low self esteem plus shame

[01:47:02] [SPEAKER_00] Just kind of feeding each other in that cycle It's my best guess Commenters and replies to that saying Makes sense, thank you so much for replying I understand it must not be easy Just one more question Would you say that your feeling of love for him during the good times Was stronger than the love you feel for your current more stable partner Asking this because this reply to my original question to you Made me question if this contrast between the good times and the bad times Makes it even harder to leave Opia replies saying

[01:47:32] [SPEAKER_00] I mean I would in some ways compare it to an unhealthy addiction But the highs weren't indicative of love The highs were high because I became dependent on the attention that this one individual gives me My sense of self worth was essentially tied to whether we're on again or off again They also aren't highs on their own It's only in contrast to very low lows And not thinking you deserve better So when you're stuck in it all You can look forward to Are the good times? Like if you're getting hit by waves

[01:48:00] [SPEAKER_00] The moment in between waves where you catch your breath is relief But you wouldn't trade that feeling for safety on land And one more reply to a removed comment says For real lol Reading the original post again for the first time gave me some whiplash Here I was enjoying my drama free life And now this 22 year old version of me assaults me with all this chaos It's been cathartic though Especially with all the supportive comments Thank you for your kind words

[01:48:26] [SPEAKER_00] And I'm just so happy for Opia in this situation That were eventually out of that relationship And did find themselves The thought process and Opia looking back on themselves all that time ago I found really interesting to see And I like hearing about people's thought processes When they're going through these particular things Because like for anyone else like myself You guys as well I imagine Could see that that relationship was absolutely awful And Opia was better off out of it

[01:48:56] [SPEAKER_00] But they kept convincing themselves with different ways Different excuses And it's just not always that easy is it? But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Our next story comes from The episode is For kicking out my mum's boyfriend When I was 17 My mum came into money She tried to keep it quiet But she paid off my dad's debts Bought him a small house

[01:49:26] [SPEAKER_00] Paid off her debts And paid for my sister's college And set up funds for mine She had a boyfriend at the time And shortly after Him and his son who was 7 Moved into our new house Over the next few years Mum bought my sister a house After she graduated college Her boyfriend lived with us And didn't pay anything But he did work When I was 21 Mum got diagnosed with cancer It wasn't good She sat me and my sister down

[01:49:54] [SPEAKER_00] And went over exactly how much money was there She intended to give her current house to me And both me and my sister were left with A large sum at the end of it She asked if I would allow her boyfriend To stay in the house with his son Until he got his own place I agreed Before she died she told her boyfriend He would need to look for his own place I had time to save more for that journey For the last 4 years He's continued to reside in the house with his son I haven't minded because we get along okay

[01:50:23] [SPEAKER_00] I pay all the bills But he does buy food for him and his kid He's dated off and on And mostly kept the women out of this house Which I respected him for Until his current partner She's been in my house 3 times And at first besides feeling a little uncomfortable I was okay with her The last time this past weekend Was the point where I lost my shit I was making myself some lunch When she came walking downstairs She grabbed a plate and went to grab food Out of my pan

[01:50:52] [SPEAKER_00] I asked her what she thought she was doing She started telling me how I should look for somewhere else to live And leaching off my dead mum's past relationship as an adult Was pathetic I hollered for my mum's old boyfriend He came down and I told him I don't know what he currently thought But I wasn't going to be disrespected in my house He wouldn't even look me in the eyes As he mumbled something about my mum promising him the house And he was just being kind Letting me stay First, that isn't remotely true My mum pulled him and I together

[01:51:22] [SPEAKER_00] After she asked if he could stay to set expectations My mum met him shortly before she won the money And told him and us girls that she had no intention of leaving him money She did set aside a fund for his son for college when he gets there But he cannot touch it Only his son can He has lived in this house for almost 8 years without paying a dime He should have plenty of money And if he doesn't, that's on him I told him he had 30 days to leave

[01:51:49] [SPEAKER_00] I wasn't going to house someone who would lie and disrespect me in my house He left that night with his son But his ex-wife called to tell me that I'm cruel and an arsehole But her son losing his house He's here every other week I really feel like my mum didn't expect him to still be here But my sister said She feels like I'm breaking my promise to my mum And that made me feel like Maybe I am the arsehole Nah, this guy is just showing his true colours

[01:52:18] [SPEAKER_00] After 8 years 8 years Of living rent-free He not only allowed his girlfriend to disrespect OP In her own home by the way But then tried to claim that the house was promised to him The mum was clear in what she wanted to happen You know, she had that discussion with both of them To ensure that there was no misunderstanding She was generous with it OP's been generous with it You know, if I was in his situation You'd just be incredibly grateful for OP

[01:52:46] [SPEAKER_00] For allowing him to stay the amount of time that he has Rent-free Myself, I'd be trying to make her life as easy as possible And don't let him guilt you about your mum Your mum would want what's best for you And you know, having him out of there right now Needs to happen Good advice Gay says, not the arsehole The critical part here is that your mum asked you to Let him stay until he got his own place And give him time to find one In that time, instead of looking to move somewhere else

[01:53:15] [SPEAKER_00] He continued to settle into life in the house To the point where he even started bringing a new girlfriend along He moved on but didn't move out Him lying to her and telling her this was his house Tells you everything you need to know about his actual intentions to leave You kicking him out wasn't abrupt The clock had run out on your mother's kindness And your obligation to her a long time ago And he was living there on generously borrowed time Curious Brad says, if it happened exactly how you said it You're not the arsehole

[01:53:44] [SPEAKER_00] If she did say he had time to save But would need to look for his own place That means she never imagined or wanted him staying for long So you're breaking no promises Did she leave him any money or assets? It's totally possible that your mother would be livid If she knew her boyfriend was still living with her son After 4 years Opie says no She created a fund for his son for his college But that was the only money set aside for him or his son It's a generous amount Enough for 4 years at a high dollar school

[01:54:13] [SPEAKER_00] Anything not used for school Will be given to him on his 25th birthday From what I believe she told me A lawyer and accountant are in charge of those funds Not me or my sister So I only know what she told us before she died She was never married to or even engaged to her boyfriend He lived with his sister and was saving for his own house when mum met him Him moving in with us was supposed to be temporary And allow him to buy and save for his dream home But he never left My mum was like that though

[01:54:41] [SPEAKER_00] She had a big heart and sometimes people took advantage of that Especially after the money She bought him a brand new truck when his car broke down But beyond that and smaller gifts Like TV, computer etc. for birthdays and holiday gifts She did not leave him money He had no joint accounts My mum paid everything And he was supposed to be saving for a house the whole time they were together Love Nana replies that saying Sweetheart you are not the arsehole First I am so sorry

[01:55:08] [SPEAKER_00] I am 63 years old and lost my mum 2 years ago And my dad 8 years ago I am not dealing with it well at all You are the only one who knows if you are telling the truth It seems very plausible to me But if he was already saving money for a house when he met your mum Then lived 4 years with her and another 4 years with you That man is just a loser Is there any way your dad could come stay with you the week he moves out? The first thing you need to do is change all the locks And get yourself some sort of security system

[01:55:38] [SPEAKER_00] Please don't feel bad for making him leave It seems to me that your mum was really smart And planned things out very carefully Being that he had already lived with her for 4 years I agree with commenters who said she was probably thinking a month or 2 Not years If your sister makes any more comments Then you can tell her that she is welcome to let him live with her Again, so sorry for your loss Please make sure you are safe and take care of yourself I hope he responded saying thank you so much My mum was the sweetest person

[01:56:07] [SPEAKER_00] And when I was a teenager I feel like I was a nightmare to her I'm thankful I was much better in my late teens And 20 and 21 So she got to see me mature a little before she passed I wasn't always the best daughter but she was always the best mum I think part of letting him stay so long Is having bonded with his son But also I liked having someone else around who loved my mum too There were nights I would wake up from a nightmare and end up in the kitchen He would hear me and they would just come and make a cup of coffee

[01:56:36] [SPEAKER_00] And sit and share a story about her His son loved mum too And some evenings we would get takeouts and watch movies And joke about what commentary my mum would have had If she had seen the movie with us My sister lives a straight away so we only really see each other once a month or so I like not being alone in this big house I do have a security system and the locks have been changed He's coming over tomorrow to get his stuff So OP came in with her update and said I know the other sub is very subjective on updates

[01:57:05] [SPEAKER_00] So I figured I would post it here I do want to take a moment to address some things I saw in the comments One, there were trusts set up and neither me or my sister had full access to the money left us This was done both because my sister and I were in our early 20s when mum died And she wanted to make sure we had some stability before we had access And to protect us from people who may try to take advantage Especially while we were grieving Two, I have a lawyer

[01:57:31] [SPEAKER_00] He has already informed me legally to my area what eviction laws are And my mum's former boyfriend will be served with formal eviction papers Just to cover myself even after today So, to the update My dad came over Decided not to have my boyfriend over since he doesn't know about the money side And I wasn't trying to have the boyfriend out of the situation this morning And brought along my cousin The easier telling I'm going to call mum's former boyfriend C

[01:57:58] [SPEAKER_00] C showed up at 10am my time and talked to my dad And then asked if he could have a couple of minutes alone with me Dad nodded and so my cousin and him went into the kitchen And C and I sat in the living room I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to go as it had But I'm glad it did C started with an apology I don't remember all the words said But the basics were, he missed my mum He's been lonely but not alone thanks to me and his son He was sorry for what happened That he got caught up in lust

[01:58:28] [SPEAKER_00] And let someone else fill his head with ideas And he owned up to his mistakes And should have never put up with someone who would disrespect me Or my mum's memory He tried to hand me a cashier's cheque for $15,000 He said it wasn't much But he wanted me to know he appreciated me And living with me and that he wanted me to pay back some of what he owed I refused the cheque both in part because I never wanted his money But I also don't want to give any possible legal leg for him to stand on If this is somehow him trying to stay

[01:58:58] [SPEAKER_00] I told him the first part and told him to put it towards a house He told me he is living with his sister but is going to look at houses with a realtor next week He did say his son is asking about our next hangout date And said both me and my sister are both welcome to arrange time with him After all of that my dad and cousin helped him get all of his stuff out of the house that he owned He had brought a U-Haul and he gave me back my house keys He apologized again and left

[01:59:26] [SPEAKER_00] Not what I expected but it went really well I feel a lot less like I let my mum down And there was a mixture of comments below this Some people calling the guy professional sponge Now that he's turned up at his sister's place and saying you know He's not going to move on from there now Other people saying it might be just a guy who's lost his way And felt that the $15,000 was genuine But that OP was smart not to take it in this moment Because of potential legalities and stuff I don't know what they could be

[01:59:54] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe that he's paid his way and therefore has some Leverage to stay in the house for X amount of time I don't know But I think OP dealt with this really maturely And I think your mum would be super proud of the way that you did deal with it But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below And let's move on to another story Now our next story comes from ThrowawayNewRing

[02:00:21] [SPEAKER_00] Who says am I the asshole for forcing my brother to buy me a new engagement ring? I'm 26 male proposing to my girlfriend 24 female on our 4th anniversary September 30th I've been planning this for about a month And I picked the ring a couple of weeks ago The one I got was on sale So I managed to get it at a surprisingly low price Last weekend I told my brother 33 male about my plans And showed him the ring

[02:00:47] [SPEAKER_00] He informed me that he was proposing to his girlfriend 29 female as well The next day my brother came to my apartment while my girlfriend was out He asked me if he could borrow my ring to propose to his girlfriend I thought he was joking at first but no His plan was to propose to his girlfriend Explain he was using my ring as a placeholder And then take her to pick her own ring later His reasoning was that he didn't want to spend too much money right away In case she didn't say yes

[02:01:16] [SPEAKER_00] I've never heard of placeholder ring So I said no and the conversation moved on On Tuesday he proposed to his girlfriend With my ring He'd taken it before leaving my apartment I got distracted at work and didn't notice it was gone Until his fiance sent a picture of herself wearing the ring to our family group chat I called him to ask about the ring And he immediately apologized and said he'd keep his promise And give it back to me But at this point my girlfriend had seen it

[02:01:45] [SPEAKER_00] And his fiance had posted about it on social media So it was pointless for me to propose using the same ring We thought about it And he confessed that while he told his fiance the ring was a placeholder He didn't tell her where he'd gotten it from I felt more angry and betrayed about him going behind my back And taking the ring after I said no Than the fact that he stole it I also know his fiance enough to know She wouldn't like to learn her engagement ring had been stolen from me So I told my brother I'll tell her the truth

[02:02:13] [SPEAKER_00] If he didn't buy me a new engagement ring He fought against it for a few hours But finally he gave up and agreed We went to a different jewelry store yesterday And I picked the new ring I managed to stay in the price range But the new one was still $100 more expensive My brother bought the ring But is still accusing me of being inconsiderate and childish He's insistent he would have given me the ring back Had I given the opportunity And I didn't need to threaten him to spend so much money on me

[02:02:42] [SPEAKER_00] He's now refusing to talk to me I don't know how to feel about this anymore I'd usually talk to my brother about these things And it's surreal that he's the one I'm fighting I can't tell my girlfriend And many of our friends overlap The only other person who knows about this is our mum Who's divided She thinks what my brother did was wrong And I'm right to be pissed at him But I didn't have to stoop as low as I did By threatening his relationship Am I the arsehole? Edit

[02:03:10] [SPEAKER_00] Accidentally called my girlfriend fiancé I'm proposing to her on Saturday I can't tell her about this because I want the proposal to be a surprise Poe says Not the arsehole What the fuck is wrong with him? He stole your ring Does he have some illness or impairment that could excuse this Or is he just the worst brother in the world? Opie says He's actually never done anything like this before He usually have a great relationship He was the first person I wanted to tell when I first started dating my girlfriend

[02:03:39] [SPEAKER_00] And that I'm proposing to her now Rev Ragnarok says Not the arsehole And you may want to consider low contact or no contact Sidebar Placeholder rings are definitely a thing I used a less than $20 ring from eBay because I wanted her input on the design And decision of what she'd be wearing for the rest of her life Edits I 1000% wasn't defending the arsehole brother here Just saying yes Tyler says Not the arsehole Your brother created this entire situation

[02:04:08] [SPEAKER_00] And it's 100% at fault If it were me I'd make all four parties sit down and explain everything You might as well rip the bandaid off now Because it's going to come out sooner or later And it will be much worse if it's later Another commenter says Not the arsehole He stole your ring That was a choice he made And it's also the choice that is threatening his relationship Not your reaction and words It's completely fair if you never trust him again Since he also decided that

[02:04:35] [SPEAKER_00] Having that ring was more important than a good relationship with you And one more comment which says What am I even reading? Your brother is an absolute arsehole And you would only do his fiance service to be honest If you told her about all of this I'd want to know my SO has this side Before getting married to them To make an informed decision Your mother is also low key an arsehole here You did not stoop anywhere If he wasn't a liar, thief and a cheapskate to boot Nothing would have been threatened It was all his own doing

[02:05:04] [SPEAKER_00] On the contrary, he almost ruined your proposal Because his girlfriend of course posted the ring in the group chat Also, I must wonder He probably came up with a whole proposal Just to be the first one in some weird rivalry with you He couldn't plan it since he wanted to borrow your ring And could not count on that option before you told him So he decided to go ahead with the proposal within days Only after you told him your plans That's honestly nuts And he has some major conflicts towards you apparently

[02:05:32] [SPEAKER_00] And that definitely felt that way to me as well That he wanted to be the first one to propose Whether it's because he's just jealous Older brother, whatever it may be It's just way too convenient that you say you're going to propose And suddenly, oh, I'm proposing too Can I borrow your ring? Like what the fuck? But OP comes in with an update and says My girlfriend and I are engaged I proposed to her on our anniversary Just as I'd planned She said yes and we both cried I love this woman and I can't wait to marry her

[02:06:02] [SPEAKER_00] Also, my brother's single A couple of days after my post My mum called me and apologized After thinking it through She realized that while I did threaten his relationship My brother had brought it upon himself She confronted him the next day And he ended up confessing that he wasn't going to propose Until I said I was My brother is older But I've hit many milestones earlier than him He never seemed bitter about it We've always been close and supported each other Which is why I was completely blindsided by what he did

[02:06:32] [SPEAKER_00] Finding out I was proposing made him panic He spontaneously said he was doing so too But freaked out about picking an engagement ring And devised a plan that, according to him Made sense at the time Use mine and take his girlfriend to buy a new one later That plan was ruined when I said no So, he stole my ring The new plan was to propose with it Take her to buy a new one Find an excuse to visit me the next day And discreetly return the ring to my apartment I wasn't even supposed to know it was gone

[02:07:01] [SPEAKER_00] That plan was also ruined Due to his girlfriend's immediate announcement He knew she was doing it But not that she'd show the ring Then he got mad I made him get a new ring Because he told his girlfriend he'd get a one too So his plan was to spare himself the effort of choosing an engagement ring Would end up making him buy two Basically, my mum got him to admit his whole engagement was a panic move She said he'd already seemed embarrassed when they started talking But was a wreck by the time they were done

[02:07:30] [SPEAKER_00] She told him to apologise to me And he called me an hour later to do so He seemed sincere Many of you said his girlfriend deserved to know the truth And I agree The only reason I hadn't done so was because I thought that should come from my brother So I took the opportunity to tell him that If he truly loved her, he'd tell her the truth He did I didn't know much of what was said But she dumped him He gave me back the first ring and refused my offer to pay him back What he'd spent on this new one

[02:07:57] [SPEAKER_00] As some of you recommended, I waited two days after proposing To tell my fiancé what happened She was furious But reassured me that she loved her ring more than any other Since the first one was on sale I can't return it to the store So we're thinking of selling it I haven't forgiven my brother But because he's never done anything like this before I'm willing to give him another chance I'm going low contact for now I have to earn my trust back I really hope he does

[02:08:25] [SPEAKER_00] I love him and I don't want our relationship to end over what he did Both my fiancé and my mum agree with me on this There's more I want to add But the word limit's not helping I'll try to reply to more comments this time Thank you all And there was a lot of comments after this one Basically just talking about how surprising the behaviour was From his brother Saying he's not usually competitive like this And he's been very supportive of OP throughout their whole life

[02:08:53] [SPEAKER_00] And OP said themselves that they're not trying to defend him And they're still pissed but the behaviour was super surprising But it legitimately felt like reading the story And not making excuses for what he did or whatever Because there is no excuses for it But it just felt like a real panic moment Like oh my younger brother's getting married And he's done everything before me so I need to do it quickly And like I said no excuses for it But that's what it felt like to me reading it And in some ways I hope that they are able to build their relationship back up

[02:09:22] [SPEAKER_00] To the point of trust at some point I mean I always find it difficult Especially when stealing's involved But it does sound like there is a lot of love between them Unless brother's been hiding a secret side of him for a while But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Our next story comes from Biscuit and Butters It was originally titled I27female made a stupid joke to my husband 30 male and he stormed off

[02:09:51] [SPEAKER_00] How do I fix this? And this was 2 years ago But it's got new updates to it now as well But alternatively It's been titled by people The Lotion Man Saga It starts off Hey Reddit, I'm an Instagram snooper So this is my first time here I honestly never expected to post here Because my husband 30 male and I27female Have a great relationship Of course I can't say we haven't had our occasional bumps But it's honestly a dream come true all the way through

[02:10:21] [SPEAKER_00] Our wedding was April 2021 And we both cried like babies that day And since then the sailing has been smoother than soap The afternoon me and him came home after a little lunch outing with our newly engaged friends Kai and Marie It went great but was like just another outing Nothing special Though we got some bomb pasta back home Which I'm currently shoveling into my gob Since it's too chilly for ice cream We live in a super tiny apartment

[02:10:50] [SPEAKER_00] And so he showered first while I got the leftovers into the fridge and stuff I went in after him Finished my shower and put some lotion on my palm I accidentally squeezed too much and dabbed some of it away After I rubbed it on my face I still had some of the leftover on my finger And I did exactly what any perfectly sane person would do On my thumb I whipped up a little smiley face And some spiky hair to create Lotion Man I came out of the bathroom giggling about it

[02:11:18] [SPEAKER_00] And said something along the lines of Hey look it's Lotion Man He didn't really react He just looked at my hand and blinked at me I honestly was just goofing around and started making a silly voice And saying some random shit sprinkled with some inside jokes I was blabbing for about a minute before he just Up and left I was of course completely oblivious as he grabbed some of his shit And I was just smiling and asking where he was going In a kind of playful way

[02:11:45] [SPEAKER_00] He has a huge truck and we just returned from a trip So he has enough stuff to last in weeks So it didn't really dawn on me that he was leaving leaving Until he drove away I honestly feel like Boo Boo the fool for making such a stupid joke And then letting him leave just like that I text him a few times and he just said that he's Thinking about things And that he's at his brother Tyler's place I've been texting him non-stop but he hasn't been responding or reading any of it

[02:12:14] [SPEAKER_00] He also sleeps really early so I doubt I can get in contact with him anytime soon His brother isn't responsive so I'm just leaving my phone on the nightstand and holding my breath I don't think it's really dawned on me yet I stared blankly at the door for like 10 minutes before I got off my ass and actually tried contacting him I've been with this man for years and I'm always cracking cheesy jokes

[02:12:36] [SPEAKER_00] I feel stupid and like shit for making lotion man and continuing after no response instead of just shutting up and accepting that I'm unfunny At the same time I'm just confused He's never been at this point even in our rougher patches The worst we've done is just take breaks from sex or just talk to one another a little less Wasn't planning on getting into sex life but honestly I'm just rambling at this point I'm all for giving him space but I can't say I'm not hurt he's just leaving

[02:13:05] [SPEAKER_00] And the process of divorce is just so Ugh I don't even want to think about this anymore Was making lotion man as big of a mistake as I think it was Any advice on getting him back home? Thanks Reddit Also any cute subreddit suggestions would be appreciated Since this is my first time on Reddit and I want to distract myself I can't remember if we've read this before I mean two years ago I can't remember we've read too many stories but Lotion man does ring a bell

[02:13:33] [SPEAKER_00] But I think it's fair to say straight away this isn't about lotion man There's something else going on And that's pretty much what all of the comments said on this one It's like you know there's something missing in this story Because there's no way this is over soap Did something happen when you was out etc etc You know poor lotion man was just doing his thing There's no need to be rude about that But Opie comes in with her first update And it says hey Reddit again

[02:14:01] [SPEAKER_00] I posted here earlier about how my husband left after I told him a dumb joke You can find it here Then share the link I followed the advice I got and kept my distance You all had me really pondering about how much of my relationship was the butterflies and kittens I thought it was I still firmly believe that everything was absolutely perfect before it happened But oh well I have my opinions So you guys were right about some things and wrong about some things

[02:14:28] [SPEAKER_00] For those of you who said the lotion thing had nothing to do with it You were kinda wrong But for the people who said something happened during the lunch outing You were right on the money My husband came back the other day He apologized and said he was ready to talk to me I obliged I tried my best not to be all over him But quite frankly I miss this man so damn much He's my husband after all He told me the following I mentioned previously that we went out with our two newlywed friends

[02:14:58] [SPEAKER_00] Kai, 30 male and Marie, 29 female We did have some quality time with all four of us But often one or more people were missing from the table Considering it was a fusion buffet and the food was amazing Apparently at some point my husband and Marie grabbed some food together Or maybe before we left Since I know I was talking to just Kai for a while before they appeared And we got to the car Whatever it was, they were alone together

[02:15:24] [SPEAKER_00] Marie, the fiancé told my husband that when Kai proposed She realized she was in love with him My husband Though she's accepted Kai's proposal And tried to put her feelings to rest by organizing a lunch out Though apparently she was charmed or some bullshit Because she asked him to run away with her or something I don't know, but she wanted him to leave me and be with her Now, Marie is honestly gorgeous Which I hate to say because I'm so pissed off with her

[02:15:52] [SPEAKER_00] She's the typical blonde, blue-eyed, skinny pageant girl Who looks kinda like Emma Watson I'm not My husband gently turned her down and wished her all the best But he says he had her on her mind for a while We were all college friends, so we know one another very well And when I showed him Lotion Man It all essentially exploded inside him I had a hair towel and some shitty old clothes on And I was giggling over a stupid thing And apparently my immaturity ticked him off over

[02:16:21] [SPEAKER_00] However the hell Marie was He got sudden cold feet about our relationship And left for his brother's place He eventually came back and said he loved me all over again I was frozen in shock and asked some questions Before asking him to sleep on the couch for at least that night He did and it didn't really help me sleep I can't believe it honestly That he was considering shitting away all of our relationship for a crush The more I think about it, the less I can look him in the eye We went to Thanksgiving lunch together with some of his family

[02:16:50] [SPEAKER_00] Plus some close friends and we spent last night together So I think he thinks he's in the clear I can't lie and I'm not considering just forgiving and forgetting though He comes home from work about 6 hours from now And I don't know what to do next After day off, I'm a teacher And so I'm considering either A. Contacting Kai and telling him about what his fiance is up to My fiance begged me not to as Marie was apparently making a spontaneous mistake

[02:17:17] [SPEAKER_00] B. Contacting Marie and chewing her out for trying to fuck up my relationship Or having a civil conversation Less tempting but it's whatever C. Contacting Tyler, his brother And asking if he left the house at some point Tyler's house is very close to Marie's place and I'm worried about that though I doubt I'll get anything out of him D. All of the above Any advice or well wishes because I'm not in a great place right now Would be appreciated If I do end up updating it'll probably be on my profile

[02:17:47] [SPEAKER_00] Since I understand this subreddit has a one update policy Plus I don't want to update without a definite outlook on the future I think I've mentioned before that legal stuff scares the shit out of me So divorce will be tough but it seems likely I wish I could just forget it all Thanks Reddit Like yourself OP, I'd have super suspicions about him Going to Marie's house rather than his brother's house The wording he loved her all over again

[02:18:14] [SPEAKER_00] Which comes after him coming back from his brother's house Air quotes Is all a bit too sus for me And the fact that he tried to turn all of this on you by saying Your immaturity for his reaction Yeah, fuck that Lotion man sounds hilarious But Lopsided says I would do D All the above But first contact Kai to let him know And that way she can't lie beforehand or make another story Do you have a good friendship with your brother-in-law?

[02:18:43] [SPEAKER_00] If so I would ask but he might cover I would also ask your husband if you haven't already Then contact her and let her know the friendship is over And she crossed a major line So sorry you're going through this OP says thank you for your well wishes I'm going to contact Kai tomorrow when I can And I'll try to have another conversation with my husband Since it seems like the tension has settled So OP updates again and says Hey Reddit First of all I'd like to say thank you so much for the overwhelming support And sweet messages

[02:19:12] [SPEAKER_00] I honestly was not expecting this A lot of you guys also took the time to message me And had a lot of great conversations with fellow redditors I'm honestly so flattered by how freaking sweet so many of you guys are I wish I could have replied to every single one of your comments I have voted every one of them though I think my post got deleted Some of you asked for pictures of Lotion Man Yes, I can't quite find the feature to upload photos on here But I will as soon as I can A lot of you had some really interesting theories lol

[02:19:41] [SPEAKER_00] And surprisingly most of them were somewhat right Majority ruled that I should do all three Confront Kai, Marie, husband and Tyler Not necessarily in that order And so I had to get smart with it Since a lot of you guys told me that Any one of them could twist the story Had they known there was outside influence Before I begin yes The full story is wacky and honestly Doesn't make that much sense I'm honestly just piecing it together via context clues And I do have some questions left unanswered

[02:20:10] [SPEAKER_00] Plus nobody who is relaying this story Is in a good headspace And to you it might just seem like a ton of garbled nonsense I'm just hoping it gets across Since I know a lot of people wanted closure on this When my husband came home we had a conversation He essentially said the same story And he told me that he was open to my marriage counselling suggestion I gave him a big hug and did the laundry Usually we split the laundry Plus I had been giving him a light cold shoulder So I indirectly forgave him

[02:20:40] [SPEAKER_00] In his eyes at least We haven't really set boundaries with our phones Like we know each other's passwords and everything But he would definitely get suspicious if I was scrolling around on it So instead I agreed to meet up with Kai first A lot of you guys were concerned that He would tell Marie and everything would implode But Kai is a big gym nut And I've been wanting to go recently So I said it as casually as possible Using it as an excuse And he agreed The next morning I met with Kai I sat down with him and told him all I know

[02:21:09] [SPEAKER_00] Yes, I cried like a baby Originally Kai was rigid and tried to Kindly poke holes in what I was saying With a few gotcha questions Before he too broke down Marie didn't tell him a word There was a big red flag on its own I then went to Marie with Kai A few redditors told me to be discreet as possible And so as a suggestion said I just blurted to her that I know everything She played dumb at first and then eventually broke You all were right

[02:21:38] [SPEAKER_00] Marie tried to settle her crush Was a bullshit story My husband was the one who approached her She told me that he asked her If before she sealed it with Kai If she wanted to have a night with him And another woman Here's the kicker Marie said yes But wait I hate to say it But that's not all Apparently Marie has been cheating on Kai for a while With men and women And my husband has also been cheating frequently They covered for each other

[02:22:07] [SPEAKER_00] And occasionally met up At the last moment she declined Because she wanted to be loyal to Kai Now that they were engaged As if she wasn't cheating for the majority of the relationship And he, husband, got all pissed off for a while Before saying he's just Locked in his apartment now Cue me showing him Lotion Man He snaps and gets out of there Kai and Marie are both arguing In tears and red at the face I told them sorry that I butted into their relationship And that I'll handle my husband myself

[02:22:36] [SPEAKER_00] I found Tyler before the sunset He told me yes, his brother stopped by But only around 11pm He left around 8 So those 3 hours went fuck all Tyler told me that he was angry And didn't tell him anything I then tell him some contacts Just the Lotion Man And he says maybe he was driving around for a while It doesn't sound like my husband to drive as relief But I'm willing to look into it Since the future was already looking pretty fucking bleak I went home

[02:23:05] [SPEAKER_00] I googled something on my husband's phone Instead I was just checking if any of them had contacted him Nothing, thankfully I would have gone into more depth But that would have to wait Instead I tried to keep him busy for the duration of the day Remember how I said he sleeps really early? Well, that worked in my favour I took his phone that night while he was snoring his ass off Ran into a million dead ends I knew I was missing something but I just couldn't find it Finally I opened his hidden photos

[02:23:35] [SPEAKER_00] Kaboom His story explodes to pieces What did I find? Nudes, nudes, more nudes, even more nudes All of one girl Not me, shocker But not Marie either I didn't recognise her Let's call her Alison Considering Alison was my second grade best friend Who was actually a snake They're not the same person Just so I can call her something when I refer to her in the story Because I don't actually know her name She's absolutely gorgeous

[02:24:05] [SPEAKER_00] Red hair, hourglass figure, you name it I'm obviously broken I traced her back to her contact I feel sick There it is, an affair He's been contacting her since February Days before I surprised him with a Valentine's thing That I've been using up my paychecks for And thinking I was the luckiest woman alive It fucking sucks I can't even read more But I tough through it Then I hit it November 3rd, two days after the last nude She's pissed off

[02:24:35] [SPEAKER_00] She found out he was married all along She was in love with him I would feel bad for her But she didn't even bother trying to contact me out of Love Ergo hubby has a genius idea He told Alison that he'd bring his wife over in a hotel To show that his wife doesn't care about the affair Sound familiar? So, I assume when Marie cancelled There was nothing he could do He became whiny and begged for her to come He told Alison that there was an inconvenience And then meet up another day

[02:25:05] [SPEAKER_00] Then the lotion man He got pissed off at me and left I don't know what he did after that But whatever it was He wasn't with either of them Then he went to Tyler's place Slept it off and came back afterwards I'll spare you the details But I couldn't even pretend to like him anymore After I found that out I brought Kai and Marie over the next morning He started fucking blubbering And trying to deny it before eventually admitting He was into redheads Marie is actually strawberry blonde Alison is very ginger

[02:25:34] [SPEAKER_00] And it was the one desire of his I couldn't fulfill Even if I could see past his bullshit Saying that he loved only me And that being with Alison and Marie Only made him love me more I just said fuck it and pack my stuff He got more desperate But even I, the girl who was honestly infatuated with him Knew it was over He technically owns the apartment So I had to leave Now I'm staying with Kai He's as hurt as I am I feel for him too His wife was his world We were hugging and crying for a while

[02:26:04] [SPEAKER_00] Ranting about god knows what Just trying to get ourselves together He tried to lighten the mood by making lunch And it was really nice He's a wonderful cook I showed him the other two posts And he got a kick out of some of your comments As far as I know my soon to be ex-husband Is with Marie for now I don't care about either of them And honestly it's kind of therapeutic Just having some kind of closure And not walking on eggshells like I have been For the past few days Kai and I are going to the gym tomorrow To do some relaxing yoga

[02:26:33] [SPEAKER_00] And hopefully figure out what to do next We've both taken off from work I'm sorting out my finances And hopefully I should get the ball rolling To finally legally split from my husband And be able to call in my ex I'm still so frazzled I have at least half a dozen pictures of him and me On my desk And our wedding picture is my lock screen On pretty much all my devices I know my students will notice his sudden disappearance From my life And I'll have to tell him that the guy I've been raving about For the past forever is divorcing me

[02:27:02] [SPEAKER_00] I have to tell all my family and friends Kai is my rock in this whole thing And we'll eventually have to part ways Which hurts me because he's honestly My number one support system in all of this Living arrangements Actual divorce costs Law stuff Yuck Therapy I still have a lot to go through I can't believe I thought the relationship was perfect It's really therapeutic to just write all this down But Reddit Thank you so much

[02:27:30] [SPEAKER_00] I've already talked about how much support I received But honestly Some of your guys' honesty and compliments For lack of better emphasis Honestly saved my life I would have been with cheating scum And Kai would have been too This place is so awesome There's so much to be seen here So many nice people checking in on me And wanting to keep up with my story I'll be coming back for more advice someday I'll be coming back for more advice someday though Just know I've seen all Yes all Of your sweet words And I continued lurking around for a long time

[02:27:58] [SPEAKER_00] But this should be my final update for now Thank you Reddit from me And Kai So we do have the update that came Two years later in a second But the top comment on that one said Wow what an arse Sorry for everything you had to go through But at least now you're out of there If it makes you feel any better Telling more people about it Might actually help you move past this Dude was a serial cheater And deserves to be put on full blast

[02:28:27] [SPEAKER_00] I know it's also uncomfortable But you should probably get tested If you haven't already Best of luck Opie says thank you so much It's bittersweet But I'm warming up to it I guess I've told my family and friends That we're divorcing due to his infidelity And a lot of them have told me to stop contacting him They were very vocal about their opinions But me and Kai got tested for STDs yesterday After I first saw this comment actually And we're still waiting for our results As far as I know Marie had more partners than my soon to be ex

[02:28:57] [SPEAKER_00] So I'm really worried for Kai But he assures me he's physically feeling fine And whatever happens, happens And one more comment from Frank the Door Who says Opie keep rocking your lotion man When you're ready you deserve someone that will love you And your lotion man Opie says I have to hop off right now But there's the recreation of the guy who saved my life Thanks Reddit And Opie shared the picture Of lotion man And what a handsome chap he is

[02:29:26] [SPEAKER_00] I mean who wouldn't find that funny Someone just coming out of the shower with lotion man on their finger The randomness of it all is just amazing But as I said two years later Opie comes in with that update And says a complete and utter doozy Lotion man Years later Oh yikes That title is a train wreck Sorry I'll come up with something better Once I get my brain working again It's that time of year if you couldn't tell Check in on your teacher pals if you have any

[02:29:56] [SPEAKER_00] Lol Hello Reddit It's been a while and I finally hop back onto this account And wow I honestly don't even know where to start Seeing so much support even today Well wishes into the new year It's all really amazing stuff I love the internet so much Especially you Reddit You guys were there for me during the dang hardest times in my life I saw dozens of messages asking about updates If I'm doing alright Even people sharing their own stories Of nearly identical things happening to them

[02:30:24] [SPEAKER_00] One of their boyfriends blamed the new puppy Crazy stuff She even sent me a picture of the little guy Who looked so blameless I can't believe this heart wrenching experience is so mutual And yet I can't lose hope in humanity yet Just because of the waves of love I'm receiving all across the board from you guys Now it's been about 2 years Feels like 4 freaking ever ago And at the time it all feels like it happened yesterday Ok now actually getting into it

[02:30:53] [SPEAKER_00] There's a lot to get through here Buckle up I ought to get the bad news out of the way first Kai and I had a pretty nasty fallout I don't want to dive into the nitty gritty details This would be like 30 pages long if I do that But to sum it up, all in a gift wrap We were roommates, pretty involved in one another's business Yada yada Basically every time I went to the store He knew Every time he came home from work I knew All of our whereabouts were always mentally noted Just because of our proximity

[02:31:23] [SPEAKER_00] Paired with the way we divvied up our house chores and what not At some point Kai tells me that he's going on a date with a girl Yeah, good for him In my case this was just a few months after D-Day And I was still in the middle of the messy divorce proceedings Plus I wasn't really in the headspace for another relationship So I wasn't even considering dating just yet Since Kai and Marie didn't have a ring on it yet They were able to break it off a little more cleanly But not perfect obviously He went on the date and then he went on another date

[02:31:52] [SPEAKER_00] And then it stopped Eventually after a week of no dates I asked what happened out of curiosity They told me simply that she had ghosted him It wasn't until a week later on A totally random evening that he drops the sparkly rainbow glitter bomb on me He had tried to see Marie again I know, pretty crazy behaviour right? Well, he was telling me this crying and blubbering like a baby on his couch And I couldn't help but feel bad for him Since the road to recovery from a blown up relationship is rough

[02:32:20] [SPEAKER_00] He told me that those dates had helped him realise it was over Like over over He described it like, and I'm probably mincing my words here When he first met Marie She had this sweet girl next door customer service facade And he got to know her better He ended up revealing this fun loving wild spirited girl underneath He says he fell in love with But then when he met up with her again that month She was right back to her factory settings Which hurt him deep down Because it felt like he started at square one all over again

[02:32:49] [SPEAKER_00] He not only ghosted her after two dates But he blocked her everywhere It was a bit of a tough decision for me It's quite close to home, you know But I decided to brush it off and console him instead of really caring Things were clear for another few months after that In that time, Kai morphed me into a total gym girl Reading my last post, it's so funny how iffy I was about the gym Anyway, after those few halcyon months Kai breaks the news to me again that he's going on another date

[02:33:17] [SPEAKER_00] This time with a friend of a mutual friend we have Again, I was like, oh, go for it And this time again, I was all muddled up in divorce proceedings And still sulking over my crumpled marriage So dating still wasn't on the table for me Now, as I mentioned before We both kept tabs on each other just because of the way our arrangement was structured So when Kai started leaving at 2pm and coming home at 8pm And his other dates with this girl had these equally long timeframes if not longer I immediately noticed

[02:33:46] [SPEAKER_00] Of course, I didn't really bring it up Since I assumed he was just having a really great time with her Or something along those lines But his absence on date days were noticeable He'd even request for me to run some of his smaller errands He knew he'd miss on those days just because of how long he was gone Eventually, I was able to meet this girl Grace, 20-something female Who was super, super sweet And was also a teacher She taught elementary school kids But still, it was a great thing for us to bond over

[02:34:16] [SPEAKER_00] At this point, things seemed to be going great Kai and Grace were adorbs Summer was passing and everything was hunky-dory I also just about officially divorced my ex-husband But dang it Those dates were just so long Even if his short meetups were at least 3-4 hours of him just gone And so I finally suddenly bring it up Kai then tells me that Grace mostly plans their date spots And those spots are usually an hour or two away from here with traffic

[02:34:44] [SPEAKER_00] When I asked him where Grace lived Maybe they were trying to meet in the middle Kai responded with a plain, not sure At that point, maybe I'd read too many infidelity forums or something But alarms were going off in my head Grace probably didn't live too far off Considering she was friends with one of our friends And after months of dating Kai, didn't even know where she lived But she had eaten at our place multiple times And the date spots all purposefully super far away To me, it sounded a little off

[02:35:13] [SPEAKER_00] This is where I probably overstepped I go on Instagram searching her name and voila I found Kai's girlfriend Grace in a wedding dress with this guy Mike Back in 2019 She's married Yikes I wake up Kai immediately Yes, cringe at my idiocy, I'm sorry And spill it all with receipts It's 12am, he's bleary eyed with work at 7 tomorrow I've barged into his room wide eyed and gesturing at the phone screen like a crazy person It's all a mess

[02:35:43] [SPEAKER_00] Finally after I shut up, Kai gets mad Like fuming He interrogates me as to why I was getting all up in Grace's business And then when I told him about the red flags, he just got even more mad The entire argument spiraled out of control He told me I was way overstepping my boundaries Which I honestly was But again, our proximity had us constantly keeping tabs on each other I asked him why the hell he was mad at me for trying to look out for him It turned into a giant screaming match

[02:36:11] [SPEAKER_00] Eventually, he went to the next level and rambled on about how this was all probably because I was secretly into him And that he's always thought our relationship had gotten closer than it needed to be Which is why I was stalking him That's when I got really mad and said some awful things I wish I could take back I dug at him for his situation with Marie I'd never date him for a million bucks Then it devolved into him calling me some nasty names and I just had to walk out It was nasty, we were both exhausted and aggravated

[02:36:40] [SPEAKER_00] It all just blew into a thousand pieces in the span of one night He woke me up early the next morning before he left I thought the night had been time for our heads to cool and he'd come to apologize But instead, he decided to drop the news on me plainly Which he admitted he was bearing on his shoulders for a while Kai knew He knew Grace was married since close to day one But he shrugged it off Her husband was a nice man but Grace told Kai that she couldn't feel for him anymore

[02:37:09] [SPEAKER_00] And that explained why the gas bill for all those far off dates didn't faze him I guess I'll admit, I wasn't too happy to hear this I asked him how he would feel if Marie's hookups had known she was married and still went for her To which Kai got mad all over again and told me not to bring Marie into this We argued again Definitely not as explosive as the night before but still pretty flaming Where Kai told me that he'd avoid telling me all this time Because he knew I'd make a big deal out of it

[02:37:36] [SPEAKER_00] I told him that infidelity was obviously personal to me And I honestly expected it was for him too To which he just straight up said It wasn't And that being roommates with me was exhausting as a full time relationship And I had no control over who he dated So I was like yeah fine, date whoever you want I just thought you needed to know that you were helping her cheat I didn't mean for this to blow out of proportion He said that was fine by him And just left for work

[02:38:03] [SPEAKER_00] I wasn't Kai's mother or something where I needed to dictate his relationships I just thought Kai wanted to know, you know That he was being the other man here I know if I was in a relationship with a man who was married already I'd want someone to tell me And based off my standards, I'd break it off with said man But if Kai had different morals regardless of our shared experiences That was fine too I just didn't want to associate with someone who perpetuated cheating I didn't really have to move out of Kai's

[02:38:32] [SPEAKER_00] He was nice enough not to overtly kick me out and make me homeless But things were definitely tough and distant between us for the next while And I'd lost respect for him in all honesty Him continuing to see Grace and also the idea that he had that I was interested in him It wasn't great Finally I was able to get together all my stuff and move out To which I moved in with a family friend And I was ultimately better off Even though it was pretty dang far from where I worked I guess I ought to provide an update on the man himself My ex-husband

[02:39:01] [SPEAKER_00] Well pretty soon after we officially divorced He got engaged to another woman Around this time, right after I moved out I think I'd just about hit rock bottom The whole AI panic with student work started happening in my district I was beginning the process to move out properly in my own place All while I was in a new community where I didn't really know anybody overall I was pretty lonely and down all the time I went on a couple of dates but they went quite mediocre And I gave it up in the end which only cemented how lonely I was

[02:39:29] [SPEAKER_00] I wouldn't go back to those days for the world Ex-husband reaches out to me and he tells me about his engagement And all the good news He tells me he's on some life improvement path And that he wants to clean up his act Starting with giving me a good and well apology He offers to meet me in person, locally Swearing up and down this wasn't a date Nor was he expecting me to accept said apology I should have been much more assertive But I was totally beat down from life And I felt like a totally different person In a sucky, no good way

[02:39:59] [SPEAKER_00] So I agreed like an idiot I thought maybe an apology rather than a loose end Would help me feel better about things It went just as well as you'd expect it to It started out okay Where we shared pleasantries and actually did apologise about everything But then he started pressing me about how my life was going I tried not to tell him too many details Saying the kids are fine, I'm doing fine Whatever else was going on But I guess I must have said one too many things

[02:40:26] [SPEAKER_00] Because he quickly picked up on how miserable my life was He then had this Cheshire cat grin As he began to boast about his great new life His hot girlfriend, her shiny engagement ring And basically how everything was going great and amazing for him He casually drops that his life has been leagues better than it's ever been And that our separation was a blessing dressed as a curse Can't lie and say it didn't hurt to hear The years I put in with him felt like burdens to him At this point, he's most definitely rubbing it in

[02:40:55] [SPEAKER_00] And eventually I get fed up with hearing him talk And weasel my way out of there In the end, I never got invited to the wedding So did we really make amends? Either way, I totally regretted doing all that Total waste of my time And it only dug me deeper into that depression pit But alas, things eventually started looking up When you least expect it After a long, long while of dragging myself through each day by the hair I finally went on one more date I'd lost a lot of weight and looked pretty sunken and pale

[02:41:25] [SPEAKER_00] So I didn't think I'd make a great first impression But what do you know? Fate can make things happen like magic That's where I met my current partner Chase, 29 male Who is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me He's so patient Undeniably sweet So, so chatty and lively Seriously, I'm used to being the loud and silly one in relationships And I used to think I'd like a guy who'd offset my energy Smirk and roll his eyes at my jokes Whatever A lot of people seem to throw themselves into that cliché

[02:41:55] [SPEAKER_00] But let me give you some sage advice If you're a ray of sunshine Don't search for the aloof, tall, dark and handsome Mr. Right Please search for someone who matches your bright energy It's so refreshing I've been missing this all my life Thinking I wanted a straight laced sucker I've never felt so much more loved And so, so complete Than I have with this big goofball No more biscuits and butters being biscuits and butters No more one-sided conversation No more of those half-hearted scoff laughs Do's do to seem cool

[02:42:24] [SPEAKER_00] We make the silliest jokes The most legendary memories And it feels so indescribably alive Our conversations are so strangely deep And the most oddball of topics And never have I felt bored around him If I keep going on about him I think my fingers will break From how much I type Jeez Louise I do love a Jeez Louise But anyway, there's a little more I have to cover Told you it'd be a lot So I'm gonna get straight to it

[02:42:52] [SPEAKER_00] It's late 2024 and the year started back up again I'm head over heels for Chase Everything's going just fine I moved properly back into my own place a little while before that Back closer to my job and what not But I didn't start going back to my old gym until then That's when I saw Kai again He didn't notice me for a few days But when he did, he immediately came up to me He very cordially apologized Told me he'd been worried sick Since I'd basically got no contact with him He told me he said a lot of stupid things that he regretted

[02:43:20] [SPEAKER_00] And if I ever wanted to be friends again He was always open to it And that was it It's 2025 now And I have no clue if Kai is still with Grace Kai has no clue that I'm with Chase But I still see him around in the gym So I haven't yet probably connected with him since his apology Maybe I should But honestly This likely isn't the best way to describe it But to me, Kai feels like a recurring character from the first movie That's making an abrupt appearance in the second or third movie It's a weird feeling I'm probably making it up

[02:43:50] [SPEAKER_00] But I feel like I'm on a totally different chapter in my life now What with Chase and my life happenings So far beyond the events of my ex-husband and Marie And every other part of that time period Not Lotion Man though Lotion Man is simply timeless Speaking of the legend himself I did actually get around to showing Chase a rendition of Lotion Man I won't lie I was shaking a little bit But to top this all off with a nice little cherry For all you happy ending lovers Not only did he find Lotion Man absolutely hilarious

[02:44:19] [SPEAKER_00] With a full on belly laugh There's a bit of a running joke between us now We've got Soap Man, Ketchup Man, Shaving Cream Man, Floor Dust Man Basically anything we can create little smiley guys with We make them real And they all have silly accents too Lotion Man, the world is your oyster And with that, that's basically it So much more has happened in my life that I've excluded here But just because it's not really relevant to what I've typed here before

[02:44:48] [SPEAKER_00] Seriously, a lot happens in a few years But my god, vomiting all that info out in these verbose paragraphs Has felt like therapy Even if nobody reads it I still feel like the weight of the past is lifted off my shoulders Even if it's just a bit I guess one lesson I've learnt from coming out of all this And coming out of my twenties Is that being unapologetically You will always do wonders no matter what Things change, life moves, it always gets better If you shine too bright for the small box that is your life

[02:45:17] [SPEAKER_00] Then it's not your fault for being too radiant You just need to get out of that damn box I'll never apologise for being myself again So you guys can take all my wordy, nerdy, nonsensical paragraphs in their full Unedited glory LOL Love you Reddit Gee whiz And what a rollercoaster I don't really know where to start So I guess I'll start with I totally understand why OP would just want to move on from the people that was in their life Like Kai for example

[02:45:46] [SPEAKER_00] It just seems you're going back into that place If you invite him into this part of your life I think, like you say, clean slate, move on, etc. Would probably be the best course of action in this The ex-husband wanting to meet up with you It just felt like he was doing that to sort of rub it in your face The apology was just like an excuse to meet up with you To tell you how great his life is now And if someone has to do that, their life isn't really that great But also, Grace's husband in this

[02:46:14] [SPEAKER_00] Did he ever find out that he was being cheated on? I was like, oh, that's kind of... That's shit in itself, isn't it? But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Our next story comes from Drunken Otter From the true off my chest subreddit And it does have some trigger warnings within the story Suicide, suicidal ideation, bullying, depression and PTSD So if you do want to skip the story, please feel free to do so

[02:46:43] [SPEAKER_00] Timestamps are always down in the description And along the timeline below Thank you And the title is I, 21 Male Got a friend request from my dead ex-girlfriend 21 Female In 8th grade, I met this girl North She was in my band class And the two of us hit it off I asked her out on a movie date And from there we became boyfriend and girlfriend She was my first girlfriend and things were going alright That was until her dad got a new job across the country in California

[02:47:13] [SPEAKER_00] North moved away But we decided to try out long distance dating through our freshman year We were not built for long distance dating I couldn't protect her from bullies Hug her when she was crying Or tell her it was going to be alright when she told me about her depression We got into arguments about god knows what But decided to keep the relationship going Because her dad was trying to transfer back closer to our hometown That was until she stopped texting me around Christmas

[02:47:40] [SPEAKER_00] And her sister sent me a funeral program and asked me to go to California North's sister told me that she took her own life because the bullying was getting too much And that I wasn't there for her when she needed me It broke my heart that I couldn't go to California for the funeral And for the past 8 years, I've mourned her loss I spent the entirety of my high school career trying to rebuild myself from all the damages I went to meetings for people who have lost family members and loved ones

[02:48:09] [SPEAKER_00] I went to therapy for 4 years and to try and help process the loss I had to learn how to become dependable because I didn't want it to happen again And after working on myself for 4 years, I asked out one of my classmates, Lucy We started dating the tail end of our senior And are about to celebrate our 4 year anniversary in April Last night, I got a notification from Facebook Saying that I got a new friend request I opened the app and found out that it was from North

[02:48:39] [SPEAKER_00] She looks older but it's undeniable that there are pictures of her as an adult With her fiancé and a newborn daughter I spent 8 years of my life believing that she was dead But here she is with undeniable proof that she's been living a great life without me My stomach is in knots My heart is sinking to the ground And my mind is racing trying to figure out what happened and what I should do Do I accept the friend request? Do I ignore it and try to move on?

[02:49:08] [SPEAKER_00] I feel completely lost And I feel like my entire life has been a lie I spent the entire night looking at pictures of her and her family Flawed that she would do this to me I think it's always very difficult with these type of stories With the question, do I accept the friend request? Do I ignore it and try to move on? I think that's an always personal thing about how you're going to feel after it And only you know that For myself And look, I don't think I could ever be friends with this person

[02:49:36] [SPEAKER_00] Or trust this person or want anything else to do with this person But I'd be curious about what they have to say Just from my point of view I'm not saying OP should do that But I know myself I'd need that sort of closure if you like But what she did to you What she put you through Is incredibly cruel Whether she did it out of fear, immaturity Or something else To fake her death And then leave you in the dark about it

[02:50:04] [SPEAKER_00] Is just downright cruel I'm trying to think of the reasons why she did this I know there's no excuse for it Or anything like that But just from my own mind I'm trying to think of why Like, was it due to the bullying or depression Or anything like that? And if she was willing to lie about her own death What else was she capable of? Which might be harsh to say But it's popping in my head Or was this all just an excuse to break up with OP In some twisted kind of way?

[02:50:32] [SPEAKER_00] But in the end, I think you have to remember that You don't owe her anything Whether that be closure, forgiveness Or even a response I'd lean on Lucy And tell Lucy about the problem as well Because, you know, it could cause potential issues for you But you deserve peace And whatever you decide to do Make sure it's for you And not for her The first commenter says Whatever you do, please discuss this with your current girlfriend as well She will likely feel betrayed if you take up contact with an ex From which you never got closure without telling her

[02:51:02] [SPEAKER_00] That being said, I would accept the request And ask her about the fake funeral and everything You have a right to know OP says Jesus, I didn't even think about how to talk to Lucy about this I know I need to tell her But I don't even know how to bring this up Another commenter says This is your present Don't ruin it or hurt someone chasing a relationship with a scammer or AI OP says it's not AI The account is friends with all the members of her family Her dad, step-mom, sisters, etc.

[02:51:31] [SPEAKER_00] This is actually her A commenter says Might the sister have done it without North's knowledge OP says North was the one to stop texting me first I don't see a world where she ghost me and her sister Just so happens to send her regards A commenter says So, I don't know if it's the healthiest option But I would 100% want closure Accept the friend request and send her a message saying How happy you are to see that she's alive Since you were under the impression she committed suicide

[02:51:59] [SPEAKER_00] How thankful you are that it was a lie And that you're happy she's clearly in a better place Don't accuse her of anything If you feel inclined, let her know that her death Led you to dedicating a part of your life to being the person you felt she needed at the time Let her apologize if she does Don't feel inclined to accept it And feel free to let her know she caused a lot of hurt I wouldn't engage beyond finding closure And I would 100% would block her after getting it OP says I do want closure

[02:52:28] [SPEAKER_00] But I don't want to chase it with how stirred up I am right now I don't know if I'm happy that North's alive Don't get me wrong I don't wish death upon her But I feel upset that she would do that I dedicated a third of my life to her And now that dedication feels like it's been ripped from underneath me A part of me is happy that she's alive But I'm also angry, devastated and heartbroken That I wasn't the person she could simply talk to That I was such a little shit That it was easier to fake her death than it was to break up with me

[02:52:58] [SPEAKER_00] But also so much has changed for me coming from this I'm happy with how my life is turning out But so much of that came from wanting to do right by her memory And now it's just I don't know what it is But I know it sucks A commenter says that is wild I'm so sorry to hear it Have you ever googled her name in those 8 years And did nothing about her ever come up? Did you follow her on any social media at the time you were together? And did all those accounts simply stop updating?

[02:53:27] [SPEAKER_00] Did those accounts have an in-memoriam post or anything like that? OP says she's always been coming and going with social media She'd make an account, stop posting for 6 months and make a new one Whenever she wanted to restart I've tried googling her but she shares a name with a UCLA professor So UCLA is the only thing that comes up for miles of scrolling So OP comes in with their first update And this is where the first warning of thoughts of suicide comes into it

[02:53:57] [SPEAKER_00] So just to let you know Thank you to all who have responded I want to get to each and every one of you But for now I hope this update will do For now I've decided to wait until Lucy gets home from work Before I make any decision on whether or not to accept the friend request I want to know what she thinks And I can always depend on her to keep me level headed But until then I just kinda wanna sort out my feelings I remember the day that I found out about North's supposed death

[02:54:23] [SPEAKER_00] It was a few days before Christmas and the snow started to hit the ground I remember walking to the edge of the neighbourhood along the main street I sat in the sidewalk, watching the cars Thinking about how if I walked onto the road They wouldn't be able to stop Or sitting there on the sidewalk contemplating for what felt like hours It was there I decided I wanted to keep living It was the most important choice of my life But now that choice feels hollow It feels meaningless

[02:54:53] [SPEAKER_00] Every decision I've made since then Has come from that choice I made 8 years ago And now it feels empty and without promise I keep you guys updated on what Lucy and I decide Please don't think for a second I plan to do anything drastic I really don't And I want to keep making that choice to live But for now I just need to figure out my meaning OP sometime later comes in with another update and says I accepted the friend request After Lucy and I talked about it

[02:55:20] [SPEAKER_00] We agreed that the possibility of getting some of the closure would be worth it So I accepted the friend request and sent out a text saying hello About a half hour later I received a notification that North responded

[02:56:01] [SPEAKER_00] We started talking a bit And so her and her sister concocted the whole story I told her about the years of therapy The years of loneliness And how guilty I felt when I started dating again I told her about how I used to think she was the one for me Even through the nights of arguing And that she left me more hurt than if she just threw me away And I told her that in some weird way I'm thankful to her Her death changed me for the better And I would not be the man I am today if it wasn't for her

[02:56:30] [SPEAKER_00] I then text Having said that I will not accept your apology It's a shallow attempt to free your guilty conscience before you get married If you were really sorry You would have said something sooner You would have apologized sooner Or would have not done it at all You took the coward's way out And I do not forgive cowards She said she understood But hoped that one day I could move past the hurt she caused me And find it in my heart to forgive her I took screenshots of the whole conversation And sent it to her fiance

[02:57:00] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know if he knows the story between me and her But now he can have enough of an idea That they can start that conversation Hope they can figure out how to move past it After all they look very happy together And the mistakes of a teenager should not affect their current life However, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me Hoping it crashes and burns I know this is not the update some of you guys wanted Some of you really wanted me to bully my way through the conversation Or play mind games to fuck with her But that is not who I am

[02:57:31] [SPEAKER_00] Nor is it who I want to be On the bright side I can now truly move on from the relationship That cost me 8 years of my life And put the whole story of North behind me Thank you to everyone who helped me find the courage to face this head on Thank you to everyone who sent kind words And thank you to the guy who DMed me the number to suicide hotline I won't need it for the foreseeable future But I appreciate it nonetheless And there was some back and forth after this one

[02:57:59] [SPEAKER_00] And about sending the screenshots to the partner Some people saying that it was a great move to do that Other people saying it feels a bit vindictive to do that And others saying to that How can you blame him after what he's been through? He's been on the very edge But after that all I can say is I really wish OP all the best going forward And I hope you continue to heal after that And what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[02:58:28] [SPEAKER_00] And let's move on to another story Now our next story comes from Grandeur Who says I 43 male found a used condom in the bin That my wife 43 female and I have in our bedroom We have not used a condom in the last decade And I have no idea what I should do now So I was taking a nap yesterday in the bedroom When I heard my daughter quietly walking in And asking me if I can give her some money So she can go out with some friends of hers

[02:58:56] [SPEAKER_00] So I do that and on her way out I still don't know how she managed to do it But she kicked the small bin that my wife and I have in the bedroom We use it mostly to throw away small things That we are too lazy to get to the trash I was rather annoyed at getting my sleep disturbed So I told my daughter to leave it and that I will pick it up She walks out of the room and I carry on with my sleep I wake up a few hours later And I notice that the bin is kicked over And that some of its contents spilt out

[02:59:24] [SPEAKER_00] I start cleaning up when I notice something peculiar In the pile of papers and napkins I found a condom A used condom My wife and I don't use condoms I'm pretty sure I've never used one ever since I had a vasectomy After our daughter was born So the question is How did one end up here? There is the obvious answer but I don't know I keep thinking of different scenarios But the thought that my wife may have been unfaithful Is the first thing that pops into my head

[02:59:54] [SPEAKER_00] And it's killing me Maybe I'm just paranoid and there's another explanation But I don't know how to approach this with her What should I do about this? How do I start this conversation? I could use some serious help over here So the first commenter asks How old is your daughter? Is it possible it's hers? Opie says she is 16 but I don't know if she is sexually active My wife and I talked with her about sex And how to stay safe so I guess it's possible

[03:00:23] [SPEAKER_00] I just don't know when she could have done it you know She mostly stays at home and focuses more on her school then Social stuff She barely stays at home alone and most of the time shares friends over They are mostly other girls I don't know Maybe it's hers but I have no idea why she'd throw it away in our bin And not the one where we usually throw the trash Veyrin says If you're up for it, could you give us an update for the resolution? On topic, as mentioned by some others, there's two possibilities

[03:00:52] [SPEAKER_00] It's either from the activities of your wife or your daughter Acquiring the truth is paramount here First, how is your marriage? Do you and your wife argue a lot? Are you intimate often? Not necessarily sex Have you drifted apart at all? Second, are there periods of time where you and slash your wife are away from the house? Are there extended times when your daughter can be alone at your house? Has she expressed interest in boys slash men that you're aware of? Opie says

[03:01:22] [SPEAKER_00] Part of the reason why I said that nothing makes sense is that because my wife and I have good relationship Nothing out of the ordinary She's acting like a normal lovey-dovey type when she is around me We go on dates and do normal things like a normal married couple would do So it wouldn't make sense for her to cheat Mayeron replies saying Then your wife is the first person you talk to Who are partners after all And like others have suggested, don't accuse her of anything

[03:01:49] [SPEAKER_00] Pay attention to the way she speaks and her body language if you can If nothing seems off, then it comes down to approaching your daughter with your wife at your side The truth will come out eventually A commenter says You never mentioned how old your kids are They could have used it and tried to dispose of it there instead of their trash But I mean, probably your wife is screwing someone in your bed Opie says Two boys and my daughter that I mentioned

[03:02:16] [SPEAKER_00] My oldest is 25 but he is living abroad with his wife and barely comes home The other is 22 and is away for college And my daughter is 16 She lives at home and I can agree that maybe it is hers I have no idea why she'd throw it in our bin It just doesn't make sense Nothing makes sense since yesterday And I just don't know what to do So Opie did come in with her update and said I posted earlier this week about my issue and honestly have no idea it will blow up this much

[03:02:45] [SPEAKER_00] Something like 500 plus comments on it and 1,400 upvotes So thanks for that Also I expect that not a lot of people that read this post would remember my previous one I can't update it properly since it's on the sidebar And you can't update locked or removed posts So I have to post this as a separate submission If you want to read some of the comments on the previous one Go to my account history and you can find it The best way I can describe what happened for those that are unfamiliar with the story

[03:03:14] [SPEAKER_00] Is that I found a used condom in my bedroom trashcan My wife and I don't use one ever since I had a vasectomy done like 10 years ago So it didn't come from me I will admit that the first thing that popped into my head was that infidelity was involved But like many of the people that commented on my previous post said It could have also just as easily come from my 16 year old daughter That she is a teen and you know They're notorious for doing some dumb shit

[03:03:40] [SPEAKER_00] Like having sex in your parents bed and tossing the condom away in their trashcan It didn't sound plausible at first Mainly because I guess I'm not ready to see my little girl in this light You know being sexually active and all that Even though I expect her to be But after some time has passed and I had time to sit and think It really would have made more sense for her to do something like this than my wife I spent the entire next day with my wife I posted on Tuesday so this is happening on Wednesday

[03:04:09] [SPEAKER_00] I had a completely crappy day and my mood was pretty sour And my wonderful wife picked up on that And she literally spent the entire day trying to cheer me up She took me out for lunch at my favourite place Even though she is not really a fan of this restaurant We played tennis together even though she doesn't like this sport She even helped me out with a hobby of mine that I love And while she doesn't partake in it She never voiced any disapproval of it In fact, she encourages it It's those small things that she does that makes me feel appreciated

[03:04:40] [SPEAKER_00] They're a reminder to me that my wife really loves and cares about me That day I realised how much of a fucking idiot I am For even thinking she's capable of hurting me I felt like an arsehole for even considering the idea So I told her, I told her everything I told her about the condom and how I felt The mixture of shock and surprise in her eyes When I told her that I found a used condom in the trash can Were genuine and that was enough for me to know she had nothing to do with it So I told her that I'm thinking that it came from Cara, our daughter

[03:05:10] [SPEAKER_00] We were going back and forth when we heard our son coming into the room and saying I'm sorry I should point out that the son in question is my middle child I have an older son that is 25 This one is 22 and my daughter is 16 My wife and I looked at Simon and asked him what he means My son then went on to explain his story About a month ago, my son, his brother and his brother's wife were at home While I was on a business trip And my wife and Cara were visiting her parents

[03:05:39] [SPEAKER_00] So one evening, Simon, his brother and his sister-in-law went out for dinner And after that decided to go to a club My oldest son and his wife took off earlier than Simon And came back home while Simon stayed for a little longer He eventually came home but he wasn't alone He picked up a girl at the club and brought her home with him My son explained that since the bed in his room is a single That guest bedroom was already occupied by his brother and sister-in-law He found the next best thing Our bedroom

[03:06:10] [SPEAKER_00] He did the deed there and tossed the condom away in the trash can In the morning, he changed the sheets But he forgot to empty the trash can And the condom remained there I was really surprised at this and so was my wife I honestly expected to have this conversation with my teenage daughter And not with my adult son My wife said something similar to him And we should expect something as stupid as this from his sister And not from him But in the end, we hashed things out And I'm glad we found the culprit

[03:06:38] [SPEAKER_00] So my first post finishes here I wanted to say thank you to everyone that commented And got involved in my previous post Your words really did help me and I'm very grateful for your help You talked me through an honestly baffling experience And pushed me in the right direction I started off with the wrong idea But in the end, you were right It was indeed one of my kids Not the one we expected but still Thanks for everything guys and have a great day and night Take care Black Rogue says to the OP

[03:07:07] [SPEAKER_00] OP But at least you know your son uses a condom Even when he's drunk I could forgive the inappropriate use of your room OP says Even though I slagged him off quite a lot in this post I am proud of him I am really happy he is keeping it safe The other commenter says You should probably tell him this He's probably quite embarrassed and it might help to hear that from you OP said We had another talk yesterday And I told him how I feel about this whole thing That even though what he did was rather idiotic

[03:07:36] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not mad at him And I'm happy he did the right thing in coming clean about this I've always had an easy going relationship with my children And they know they can come to me or my wife with anything Hence why I guess he felt comfortable enough in talking to us about his sexual adventure He's a great kid and I'm proud of how he handled this I would have said and felt the same if my daughter was the one that did it I mean I'm glad they worked out but the parents bed man The parents bed Anyway, what do you guys make of this situation?

[03:08:06] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Our next story comes from BubblesSX1 And says My 27 female best friend 26 female Turns out to be crazy And is ruining my wedding Some background info about this girl Let's call her Jess At this point in her life She's kind of a hot mess She's one of those people who airs everything on Facebook Who has a new love of my life every month

[03:08:33] [SPEAKER_00] And a new best friend every few months Her relationships and friendships usually end terribly With both sides hating each other How did I become being her best friend? Well, she hasn't always been this way She was relatively normal 5 years ago when I met her Save for the normal early 20s drama Within the last 2 years she's lost her mum to cancer And her grandpa to old age And she doesn't have any other family

[03:09:01] [SPEAKER_00] She dropped out of school and found out her boyfriend at the time was cheating on her After the breakup I was acting like a shoulder to cry on since She had pretty much hit rock bottom A few months later she was telling everyone how close we were And started tagging me as her best friend A few months ago I got engaged Unbeknownst to me she started telling everyone she was my maid of honour Even though I've always planned on making my sister my maid of honour

[03:09:29] [SPEAKER_00] But this was right after Jess's mum had died So I just improvised and said I would have 2 maid of honours It's not, it's still not what I would have liked But I literally couldn't bring myself to tell this poor girl I don't consider her my best friend That was my first mistake About a month after I got engaged she met a guy Two weeks later she was engaged A week later she was married A month later she was divorced

[03:09:57] [SPEAKER_00] Separated, I don't know if it's legal yet I don't know if anything was legal But she changed her last name and is still going by that So I'm guessing it was legal Ever since the divorce my own wedding planning has become unbearable She's constantly telling me how marriage doesn't work Love can't save things etc etc And criticises how much I'm spending on my wedding When she had hers for a few hundred Vegas wedding It's gotten to the point where she's rude to the vendors I'm meeting with

[03:10:26] [SPEAKER_00] But she gets really upset when I don't take her to meetings Since she's the maid of honour So I'm at the point where I just want to cut her out of the wedding Like I should have done in the first place However, when I confessed this to a mutual friend My friend let me know to be careful because Jess can be really vindictive When she found out her ex from a few years ago was getting married She tried to contact the bride and tell her he was cheating on her He wasn't

[03:10:54] [SPEAKER_00] One of her last besties was fired from her job Because Jess made multiple email accounts and regularly contacted customer service Complaining about her And since she knows so much info about my wedding already I'm really terrified that she has somehow tried to sabotage it So basically, I don't know what to do at this point I feel like this wedding is getting away from me But I also don't know if it would be less painful to keep her a part of it Because it would save me all the drama I don't know what she's capable of

[03:11:23] [SPEAKER_00] So I'm really worried that she'll somehow make everything harder for me If I don't just grin and bear it Help! So the first commenter said to OP It might be a good idea to have passwords with your vendors to confirm your identity OP said Thank you for the advice I was actually considering the passwords thing But I don't know if that's taking things too far I guess I'm kind of worried about vendors resenting me for being high maintenance

[03:11:50] [SPEAKER_00] But I hear about bridezillas, mumzillas, in-lawzillas all the time So hopefully this isn't the worst they've seen JiggledaddyDawkins says Jesus, just tell her Jess You knew him for three weeks before you married him What in the ever-loving fuck did you think was going to happen? If I've only seen a girl for three weeks I won't even poop with her In a half-mile radius OP replied saying Seriously, the week before the wedding Everyone was kindly saying Uh, you sure?

[03:12:18] [SPEAKER_00] You've known him an awfully short time And her responding Everyone's jealous because they can't be us Yeah Angelo Papaz says Sounds like you need to have a very uncomfortable talk with this girl Tell her what you told us here And let her know her negative attitude has no place in planning your wedding You're sorry things aren't working out for her But she is not allowed to pile this stuff on you Tell her that you cannot have her as a maid of honour And since she seems to think so negatively about marriage You wouldn't expect her to do this

[03:12:49] [SPEAKER_00] Up to you if you even let her attend the wedding as a guest OP says, oh my god I haven't even thought about explaining how her negative attitude towards marriage Could be the excuse for not having her in the wedding party That sounds ridiculously logical But I've been blinded by a flurry of crazy Thank you Yeah, and it's sad that my brain The first thing it went to was the same as the first comment that You know, passwords on vendors

[03:13:16] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't even know that was a thing before I started reading Reddit Don't get me wrong, it absolutely makes sense Because there is lots of indicative people out there And it seems like just a smart thing to do I would also, I think, like get ahead of the game with some of your friends Your partner and say, you know She might start kicking off once I have a whatever chat with her Because she's done it in the past She's caused drama wherever she goes by the sound of it But around three months later after that post OP comes in and says

[03:13:46] [SPEAKER_00] The guys This went full blown crazy Before I could have a conversation with Jess She confronted me about it Apparently the mutual I confided in let the whole story leak And a twisted, more dramatic version made its way back to Jess Shit, meet Fan It was an hour or two of me trying to explain to Jess In a somewhat calm manner That I had felt she had overstepped her boundaries And it was really taking a mental toll on me While she yelled about what a terrible friend I was

[03:14:15] [SPEAKER_00] And how she's tired of putting all her faith in the wrong people And how she was tired of trying her best to be a good maid of honour I made the mistake of pointing out that I never asked her to be my maid of honour in the first place And she responded with Well then I must be delusional The first step is admitting you have a problem So, progress? Needless to say, we aren't on speaking terms Shortly after that I took all your advice And called all of my wedding vendors And let them know that my fiancé and I

[03:14:44] [SPEAKER_00] Were going to be the only people making any decisions And set up a confirmation word with them Apparently this shit happens a lot Because nobody even asked why Accidentally forgot to contact the bakery making our cake But they luckily called me And asked if I was certain I wanted to cancel the wedding cake Apparently there was a voicemail left on the machine Wonder how that happened Here's where things get really nuts A few weeks after our blow up She apparently met some guy who is the love of her life A few weeks after that

[03:15:14] [SPEAKER_00] They're engaged I can't make this shit up And our mutual friends get invitations for her wedding Which is the same date as mine But since they had RSVP'd for my wedding A lot of them couldn't make it A few days before her wedding They have to cancel because He's already married And you know what? So is she I guess she never got officially divorced from that first quickie wedding So as far as I know No wedding actually happened I have no idea if they still planned to

[03:15:43] [SPEAKER_00] I'm just glad to be away from that circus But anyways, I got married a few weeks ago Everything was wonderful The weather was great And everyone present was a joy to be around Except maybe my uncle Who gets a little too dancey when he's drunk But you know Family Family Thank you to everyone who responded And to everyone letting me know I'm not helping matters by going with the flow I'll be actively practicing caution when making friends By running from crazy And not comforting it

[03:16:12] [SPEAKER_00] The commenter on this one said Anyone else think the mutual friend is kind of shitty? She was the one who told OP to be careful about Jess Yet she decided it'd be a good idea to blab about what OP told her Knowing full well it would get back to Jess Now instead of telling Jess on her own terms OP got ambushed instead OP says I actually asked her about it a few days ago after the blow up Her defense was she didn't actually tell Jess She told another mutual friend of ours

[03:16:42] [SPEAKER_00] Who told someone else Who told Jess So technically it wasn't her fault Which is how by the time it got to Jess The story was somewhere along the lines of Oh my god OP is telling everyone you're ruining her life And sabotaging the wedding All of us met at work We all worked at the same restaurant long ago And it was always a drama filled place A lot of the same people still work there And still thrive off of the drama

[03:17:08] [SPEAKER_00] I'm thinking it's time for me to move on from that specific crowd Cliques are fun in middle school In your 20s Not so much Zebra says and quotes I will be actively practicing caution when making friends By running from crazy and not comforting Edson says I'd like to nominate the first candidate for your new policy The mutual friend who somehow let the story leak And repeated to Jess a twisted more dramatic version of what you confided in her

[03:17:35] [SPEAKER_00] OP says I've decided to distance myself from that crowd We're in different points in our lives and I just don't find the gossiping all that fun My real besties from high school who were all bridesmaids Have all grown up and we would never pull this crap I'm just Jenna says I bet Jess was never actually getting married this time It was just a plot to ensure at least some of your friends didn't make your wedding OP says I suspect that as well But since she's done it before I wouldn't be surprised if she actually went through with it

[03:18:05] [SPEAKER_00] I'm assuming they were both trying to get divorced before the wedding and Realized they wouldn't be able to in time Because you know some stuff takes time and can't be erased in a jiffy So they couldn't do it I get the feeling this guy is either really stupid or just as crazy as she is So at least they found each other And there were some people below talking about the whole working in a restaurant And it is a very gossipy place Is it? I've never heard of that before

[03:18:32] [SPEAKER_00] In the UK I've heard places like call centers being gossipy places I used to work in a warehouse that was attached to one And that was a fairly gossipy place I don't want to generalize every workplace like that Because obviously not every call center is going to be like that Every restaurant isn't going to be like that But I can remember working there and walking into the kitchen at lunchtime And you just sort of like listen in the background And there was always some little gossip going on

[03:19:01] [SPEAKER_00] I don't think it really helped that they had some sort of like scoring system About most calls answered and all this kind of stuff I remember one particular piece of drama where An email went around to the whole company saying Something along the lines of don't meddle with other people's lunches in the fridge etc You're not allowed to touch them Put your names on them blah blah blah And it eventually came out that one of the women was upset with another woman So instead of talking about it or talking to a higher up whatever

[03:19:30] [SPEAKER_00] She decided to go and find the other woman's lunch everyday And just dispose of it or eat it I don't know we never found out She was let go shortly after that That was the same company where I had to have the induction And listen on some of their phone calls And it was about the guy getting his ass whipped over a sofa Wild times Anyway, now Why do I always go off? Anyway, now I'm going to turn this one to you guys What do you guys make of this situation?

[03:19:59] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Oh, that's a mental image I didn't want in my head Now, let's move on to another story Now our next story comes from Babyflower2003 And says my father left me with 73,000 worth of debt Without me knowing I-21 graduated from university with my undergrad in 2024 At the time of graduating

[03:20:27] [SPEAKER_00] I thought that I had around 10k of federal student loans Recently my mum left my emotionally abusive father Leaving just her, me and my sibling by ourselves I was happy at this decision until I found out that the 10k of debt I thought I was in Was actually far more than that I knew that throughout my first year of university He had taken out some private student loans for me I was told by my father That since I was only 18 at the time The bank we loaned from wouldn't allow me to pull out loans

[03:20:57] [SPEAKER_00] Since I didn't have good credit He told me that he'd be able to take out these student loans under my mother's name And that he'd pay them off as soon as I'm done with school I found out recently that the loans were in fact under my name With my mum just as a co-signer Also that the loans were far more than was needed to pay for my tuition She did not know this either by the way He'd taken out a total of 48k in private student loans under my name I remember signing for these He did not forge my signature

[03:21:27] [SPEAKER_00] When I asked exactly what I was signing for Or more details about everything He told me stop asking questions and just trust me Every time I tried to push for answers I got that response I trusted him I trusted that he would not screw me over I trusted him to help build my credit when I turned 18 I found out now that he's completely messed up my credit too My TransUnion score is 669 And my Equifax score is 577 He used my tuition money for rent and bills

[03:21:55] [SPEAKER_00] I did not know what he used the money he got from my credit cards for Throughout the past few years He had convinced us that he was making a lot of money from his job I now realise that he was likely lying about that and just secretly screwing me over And my mum too since he's also messed up her credit I have 3 closed credit cards that are in debt I think One is 6055 balance 2250 credit limit With 6055 due The second is 12,864 reported balance

[03:22:26] [SPEAKER_00] 1000 credit limit With 0 due Does this second one mean that I don't have to pay off the balance? The third one is 6228 balance 6000 credit limit With 714 due From what I've looked up It seems like I owe a little over 35k in credit card debt I also know that he's messed up my siblings credit too I'm not sure by how much I haven't had the chance to look into that yet Also I think it's important to note That he currently owes 3 different family members over 200k I found this out this week too

[03:22:55] [SPEAKER_00] Flash forward to now I found out about these loans a few days ago I now have a total of 58k in student loan debt In addition to my credit debt My first student loan payment is due in less than 3 weeks I need advice I don't want to take legal action against him I don't want him to end up in jail He's currently helping us by paying for our rent and car Even though my mum has left him My mum doesn't currently have a job Though she is looking And my job doesn't make nearly enough to provide for ourselves without us help

[03:23:25] [SPEAKER_00] In August I will start a higher paying job And possibly pick up a second job to pay off my debt So I could ask him then to just send me money every month Instead of paying for rent in the car I could use that money to help pay off the debt As of right now I'm not worried about my federal student loans The minimum payment is doable And I will receive around 14k of tuition reimbursement in March and April So that will help Should I consolidate the private loans? Should I refinance? I briefly considered filing for bankruptcy

[03:23:55] [SPEAKER_00] Since I have no assets But I know that's probably a bad idea Is there a way for me not to have to deal with this debt Without landing him in a lot of trouble? Someone was questioned and did OP know what they signed OP said it was an electronic signature for a loan Where you use the mouse to draw out your signature He called me over to sign it on his laptop At the time I still thought that the money would be under my mother's name I also did not know how much money it would be The first commenter says and quotes

[03:24:24] [SPEAKER_00] I don't want to take legal action against him Then says okay Then you're going to have to pay the loans or declare bankruptcy Another one quotes OP saying I don't want to take legal action against him I don't want him to end up in jail And then says you need to get past this Because he doesn't care what he does to you And he is only hurting you He is hurting and taking advantage of a lot of people And is actively ruining your futures to benefit himself Quoting OP again saying he is currently helping us By paying for our rent and car Even though my mom has left him

[03:24:52] [SPEAKER_00] Then said he isn't helping you He is providing just enough to hope you don't take action against him And the money is money he owes you Not that he is using to support you out of care for you and your family He is not helping He is using money he took from you and others to pay for that You are paying for that help in the form of increasing debt Not him And if he doesn't face serious repercussions for his actions He is going to keep doing it And you will never get out of the increasing debt he will continue to saddle you and everyone else with

[03:25:22] [SPEAKER_00] At the very least you need to make sure you and your siblings credit his lockdown now To prevent him from taking out new cards and loans under your names But you really really need to just report him to the police so you can remove the debt Why are you so worried about ruining his life When he isn't worried about ruining the lives of you, your siblings and everyone else he is taking advantage of If anyone ruins his life it will be him by his own actions OP came in with an update and said after reading all the responses and talking with some people

[03:25:52] [SPEAKER_00] Close friends of mine I see that the best thing to do is file against him I brought up the topic to my mother last night and she being very religious said No, don't do that God wouldn't want you to harm another person like this Let alone your own father She said that she'd rather take on the private student loan debt by refinancing and transferring it to her But honestly that wouldn't remove the credit card debt and it'll leave her with the debts instead I don't think that's a good choice

[03:26:21] [SPEAKER_00] I think that if I file against my dad my mother will kick me out So if I file I will already be prepared to move out That being said I currently only have 2k saved up from work and that will not be enough to move out on my own I'd need more money to get a car place and overall survive I just moved to the city I'm in less than a year ago so I don't have many people to rely on here My boyfriend offered to let me live at his family's house but I'd still need to be able to travel to and from work

[03:26:50] [SPEAKER_00] And I don't want to overstay my welcome I also don't have the option to move because I have to work in the state of Florida to qualify for my university's tuition reimbursement In March I have over 14k of tuition reimbursement coming in My best bet would be to wait until March and then leave It breaks my heart to do this because I could be disowned by every person in my family But I can't let myself live with this debt Prior to this I thought I only had 10k worth of debt And with that I could have easily lived a good life and paid it off quickly

[03:27:20] [SPEAKER_00] I'm still not 100% set on this decision but I do realise that it's a logical thing to do I want to speak with my siblings to see how much debt my father put them in And to see if they'd want to file too I also want to speak with a lawyer or someone more knowledgeable than me about this Does anyone have any advice based on this update? I hope he adds a little update as well in the comments My mum's religious comments are obviously ridiculous But I'm mostly looking for help on how to file or what to expect I have record showing 23k of refunds

[03:27:50] [SPEAKER_00] Went to a bank account he controlled I didn't see a dime of that money And I think he used it to pay for a vacation Not gonna lie Someone says is it possible for OP to find a new place or rent near their job? OP says I'm a substitute teacher I work at different schools around the county So it wouldn't be possible for me to get a job near work unfortunately Someone said how did OP's father get involved on OP signing their documents with their mother? OP says all I did was sign He filled out everything

[03:28:17] [SPEAKER_00] Now I understand looking back that I was stupid for signing without asking But after some further looking into things I see that the amount of money I was refunded by my school was an insane amount And not an amount I could have spent by myself in one semester AKA 12k extra refunded in a semester where my tuition was only 2k He must have used that money himself on non-education related things Also the credit cards I did not sign for I didn't even know that you signed for credit cards He did that all himself

[03:28:47] [SPEAKER_00] Couple more comments that says Sounds to me like both your mum and your dad are in this together And that if you don't file against them They will come out ahead And you will come out behind Another commenter says God didn't want your mum to leave your dad either But she did So she doesn't have a leg to stand on when it's preaching to you Report him to anyone you can Also if you were under 18 years old You can't be held responsible for any contracts What an absolute horrible man

[03:29:15] [SPEAKER_00] A mum talking about God wouldn't want you to harm another person like this Let alone your own father One of the 10 commandments is that thou shall not steal Absolutely file against him If he's done this to you, other people, your siblings as well He doesn't care I think it's always important to look at it from an outside perspective Especially for OP And if you read this yourself What would you say to that person? You would say absolutely file against him Because he's willingly chosen To damage your life like this

[03:29:45] [SPEAKER_00] He's chosen this I'm not sure about the legalities or anything like that Or if you'll ever get that money back Or if it had come off your credit But that guy deserves what's coming to him And you absolutely should file But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below And just a huge thank you for joining us today If you've made it this far into the compilation Thank you so much you bloody cheeky so and so And for whatever you're up to for the remainder of your day

[03:30:15] [SPEAKER_00] I wish you all the best As always thank you for making this year so so amazing As you always do Your love, your support, your time Not just towards me but towards one another Down in the comments below Towards the stories etc It's incredible And I'm incredibly blessed And I thank each and every one of you for it So thank you so much And I will see you in the next one Take care And much love