Maid Of Honor Is Claiming I RUINED The Bachelorette After I saw Something Shocking r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang I do hope you are well, my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories and if you do love a Reddit Story why not consider hitting that like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:19] Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from TA Bridesmaid 32423 and says am I the arsehole here for spoiling my friends bachelorette party. I 30F spoiled my friends bachelorette party and am now being kicked out of the wedding party.

[00:00:35] She is one of my close friends and I have been feeling devastated and guilty by the turn of events since last weekend. I am using fake names since I want to keep it anonymous. My friend Joanna 29F is getting married and I was incredibly happy for her.

[00:00:53] Joanna is my co-worker and we have been working together for the last 7 years. She is one of my closest friends and I was so honored when she asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding.

[00:01:02] I also know her fiance as he also works with us and is a friend of mine. Most of the other bridesmaids including maid of honor are Joanna's college friends and they have all been nice to me. They planned a nice weekend bachelorette party for our last weekend.

[00:01:17] We rented an airbnb and the plan was to hang out, drink and play games all night. There were around 10 girls and all of them were the same age as me. We reached there in the morning and spent the day by the pool.

[00:01:29] In the evening the plan was to dress classy in cocktail dresses and hang out. Things were going well and we were playing the normal bachelorette party games and having fun. Around 10pm there was a knock on the door and the maid of honor made us all be quiet

[00:01:43] for a surprise. She had hired 2 male strippers for the bachelorette party. I am married and I was shocked as no one mentioned this was the plan. I was uncomfortable but decided not to cause a scene as others were screaming and happy.

[00:01:57] However, as soon as they started dancing the strippers started calling out some girls and the girls were getting very handsy with them. At this point I excused myself that I needed water and went to the pool area. I was uncomfortable at this point and called my husband.

[00:02:12] I told him what was going on and he told me that he trusts me and not to do something I am uncomfortable with just because of peer pressure. I told him to stay on the phone and talk to me.

[00:02:21] After around 15 minutes 3 more girls also came out where I was sitting and sat next to me. They were also uncomfortable with a turn of events. I told them I was talking to my husband and they also took the opportunity to call their partners or text them.

[00:02:35] They told me that they were also not told about the strippers and the maid of honor took the liberty to arrange that as a surprise for everyone. After a while the noise from inside started going down and we thought the strippers had left.

[00:02:49] We went inside to check and there was a bunch of NSFW stuff going on. I was shocked to see that Joanna was with one of the guys. I screamed in disbelief and that startled her.

[00:02:59] I just got out of the room and then me and the other 3 girls went for a drive. We returned after an hour around midnight. The guys had left and all the girls were sitting around as if they had seen a ghost.

[00:03:11] After we left it seemed like Joanna suddenly had an anxiety attack. She started crying and they kicked out all the strippers. She wanted to talk to her fiance but the girls calmed her down and kept her from calling him and telling him what happened.

[00:03:24] Her friends then took Joanna to the bedroom and the maid of honor told us that it was rude for us to leave in the middle of the party. She looked at me and said, you had to be the center of everything, this was Joanna's night

[00:03:35] and you ruined it. I was too shocked to say anything and just decided to call it a night and went to sleep. The drive back was awkward to say the least. The 3 girls who followed me outside decided to carpool with me and I didn't have to talk

[00:03:49] to the maid of honor or Joanna the next day. On Monday, Joanna skipped work and called me in the evening. She said that the other bridesmaids do not feel comfortable with me being in the wedding party and if it's okay with me.

[00:04:02] She also told me that she hopes I follow the girl code and do not talk about what happened over the weekend. She said that she was drunk, had no idea what was planned and just went with the flow.

[00:04:12] That evening, the maid of honor sent me a threatening message that I ruined the perfect weekend for Joanna and should not talk about what happened to anyone. I have already told my husband and he said that I should just step away from the drama.

[00:04:24] He also offered to go on a vacation during the wedding weekend and skip the wedding as Joanna may not want me to be there. I feel so bad for what happened over the weekend. Joanna has been actively avoiding me since Monday.

[00:04:37] I was so happy for her but I just cannot unsee what I saw over the weekend. I also know how much Joanna adores her fiance and it must be just a lapse of judgment for her in that moment.

[00:04:48] I do not know how I should have acted, other male strippers just crossed my line. Am I the asshole to ruin Joanna's bachelorette party? Was there any other way I would have acted in this situation?

[00:05:00] The guilt is just killing me and I don't know what I should do now. So as always there were some relevant comments with Opie replying. Groundbreaking says you need to make her tell her fiance or do it yourself if she won't.

[00:05:12] All of you are getting manipulated by the maid of honor right now. Please demonstrate some decency and character. Do the right thing. Opie said as I said before I am so torn on what to do.

[00:05:23] Some of the girls who stayed back in the room are married and have kids. My confession could destroy a lot of lives. I know what's the right thing to do on paper but I do not want to do something I regret later.

[00:05:34] My husband has been constantly talking to me and trying to help me with my anxiety. Ella Rose says did you decide what to do? I would feel uncomfortable working with Joanna and her fiance after what transpired. I hope you are doing ok.

[00:05:49] Opie says I have not told the fiance yet. However, I talked to him today and he was asking me why I stepped down from being a bridesmaid. I told him he should ask Joanna about it as I don't want to talk about it.

[00:06:00] I feel so bad too and I see him every day at work. It's such a fucked up situation and my husband is trying to calm me down and think through the consequences before I take any step. Jeff says you see this dude every day.

[00:06:13] What the fuck why wouldn't you tell him? Edit, why doesn't anyone care about the fiance? Now I don't want graphic detail but I wonder what Opie did see in that moment. Opie said it was NSFW stuff going on.

[00:06:26] But absolutely I think the fiance deserves to know what's going on here. Bloody hell he's gonna be getting married to this person soon. But Zanev says in quotes I also know how much Joanna adores her fiance and it must be just

[00:06:38] a lapse of judgement for her in that moment. And then says I'm getting married in October. If a single stripper shows up at my bachelor party, I'm walking out the door and every single person who is complicit in hiring them will be removed from my wedding party.

[00:06:51] I don't care if that means I'm up there alone. Considering that I have told my best matron this and one of my groomsmen stalks my reddit profile, this will not be news to anyone. Cheating with strippers is never a lapse in judgement.

[00:07:05] One more comment from Jeepers Creepers who says not the arsehole you did not ruin the party. You stepped out because you did not consent to participate in sexually charged and just plain sexual activity. Refusing to participate in something sexual is always allowed and is never ruining anything.

[00:07:21] The only reason you are being kicked out of the wedding party is because Joanna realized that out of all the bridesmaids, you were the only one who may have some loyalty to her fiance because he is your co-worker whereas everyone else is Joanna's old college friend.

[00:07:35] If this is the way they act as adults, I'm sure they all have years worth of dirt on each other. Take your husband up on his offer to skip the wedding altogether. This is actually the power move on your part.

[00:07:46] Leave Joanna hanging on whether you will honor her girl's code request and take as long as you need to figure out how you will respond to it. But OP came in with her update and says I read a post last week regarding my friend

[00:08:14] Joanna's bachelorette party going south after a maid of honor decided to surprise everyone by inviting male strippers and the bride decided to have fun. I'd left the room immediately with a few other girls and was uncomfortable with this.

[00:08:26] I'd asked for advice on how to proceed since the guilt of witnessing the events and not telling the fiance was killing me. I wanted to give the update since a lot of people are messaging me to tell the fiance. The bachelorette party happened two weekends ago.

[00:08:40] Last week was super awkward. Joanna asked me on Monday if it's okay if I step down from being a bridesmaid. I agreed and my husband also suggested we skip the wedding altogether and was supportive of me.

[00:08:52] I did not tell the groom, Jason, but he came to me on Thursday and asked me why I stepped down from being a bridesmaid. I told him I do not want to discuss the issue and Joanna knew the reason.

[00:09:02] I did not want to lie to him but also did not have the courage to tell him the truth. On Sunday morning Joanna called me and asked me if she and Jason could come to our house as Jason wanted to talk to me.

[00:09:14] She sounded like she was crying on the other side. I said okay and told her to come in sometime since my husband and I were at the gym. Jason and Joanna both came together and we invited them to come in.

[00:09:25] Jason was stone faced and it took a few minutes before anyone said a word. Jason looked at me and told me that he considered me his friend and wanted to know exactly what happened that night.

[00:09:35] I told him the whole story about how we had a nice weekend until the strippers came. I told him that I left the room after some girls started dancing with them as I did not feel comfortable.

[00:09:46] My husband was also backing up my story as I was on call with him that whole time after that. I told him how me and the other girls went in after 30 minutes and saw one of Joanna's friends married was giving one of the strippers a BJ.

[00:10:00] Joanna was also dancing with one of the strippers. He was completely naked at this point and I was very shocked and screamed Joanna's name. I lied slightly because from my point of view I could see the strippers back and Joanna

[00:10:13] was sitting in front of him and something might be going on. However, I was not sure and did not tell Jason about it. I told him I left after that and came back to Joanna crying and wanting to call Jason.

[00:10:26] Joanna started talking at this point and told Jason that she was also surprised to see the strippers and did not want to spoil the party. It was the maid of honor's idea and the other three friends all married had paid for them.

[00:10:39] That was the reason none of the others knew about it as it never showed up in the expenses we were tracking. Joanna thought they were just strippers and not sex workers and got carried away and did not stop them.

[00:10:49] When I screamed Joanna suddenly realized how wrong everything was. I left and Joanna realized how bad the situation looked. She wanted to call Jason immediately to let him know what happened but her friends stopped her from doing that because they were worried their husbands would find out.

[00:11:05] Joanna was begging Jason to trust her and she did not kiss or do anything inappropriate with the strippers. Jason was really upset but he asked me if Joanna was really crying and tried to call him. I confirmed it as the other girls had told that to me.

[00:11:20] Jason hugged Joanna and told her that he trusts her and loves her however she must cut the maid of honor and the other three friends as they invited sex workers for the bachelorette party. He was also adamant that Joanna told her friend's husbands regarding the incident but Joanna

[00:11:35] was very reluctant to do that. Joanna said she would stop hanging out with those girls and came and hugged me. She was very apologetic and I could see from her eyes how relieved she was. She apologized to me for putting me in that situation.

[00:11:49] Overall she dodged a huge bullet. I really hope I did the right thing and Joanna will never do something stupid like this in the future. From what I understand one of the other girls who came out with me told Jason about the

[00:12:02] incident after he got suspected and he confronted Joanna. I again wanted to thank everyone for their suggestions and they helped me think through the whole situation.

[00:13:06] A story from kindly by 753 Nightmare HOA President Stalks Me Due To Service Doc Hi Mark, I love your channel and I love your nightmare neighbor stories. They are a perfect backdrop to all my crafting. I have a story that I think you'll love lol.

[00:13:27] This happened about 5 years ago and is some of the worst HOA drama that I've heard of and it happened to me. I moved to a huge city in 2012 to attend graduate school.

[00:13:38] I had no idea what I was doing as I grew up in a semi-rural small city but was super ready to be an adult and like take charge of my life I guess.

[00:13:48] My accountant mom helped me realize that because I planned on being in the city for over 5 years graduate education is intense y'all. It would ultimately save me money to buy a small condo rather than to rent something.

[00:14:00] I managed to secure a home loan and jumped through all the paperwork and credit checks and house inspections and there was so much to do and very overwhelming but I did it. I got my own very nice little condo.

[00:14:13] It's worth noting that I have severe social anxiety and that I'm autistic. Change is so hard and I was changing everything about my life at the same time. So I tried to cut down on stresses as much as possible

[00:14:26] and one of those was that I opted to not attend monthly HOA meetings. Oh my goodness this was a mistake. Anyone who's moving somewhere with an HOA please please please attend the meetings. You need to be a known quantity when drama starts knocking at your door.

[00:14:42] Things are quiet and peaceful for 4 whole years. I'm chugging away at my degree, have health insurance so I can finally start getting treated for OCD and PTSD and start dating this amazing woman who completes me in all the right ways.

[00:14:56] About 3 months into dating her, her housing situation starts getting really gnarly. Abusive roommates yay and we decide that it's safest if she moves in with me. Fast yes. I've also never felt this way about anyone before and I'm already head over heels in

[00:15:12] love with her and just want her to be safe. Spoiler we are now married and have a giant fur family. My girlfriend moves in with a service dog which oh boy the drama that's about to unfold.

[00:15:24] At first the HOA pitches a fit that we have a large dog in the building, despite there being a £15 limit. Dog was up to £30, decidedly medium sized. We pointed out that she has proper prescription and paperwork filled with the HOA management

[00:15:40] company and they legally have to let her live there. In an oh how naive we are moment we thought that was the end of it. The HOA was blessedly silent for 3 months and then the letters started coming.

[00:15:53] At first they were accusing us of being too loud on the stairs late at night. Now we would take the dog out to relieve herself between 8pm and 9pm every night. I was often teaching early morning classes and would go to bed promptly at 9.30.

[00:16:07] We were not night owls by any stretch of the imagination. I think the latest we ever took her out was 10pm but ok fair some people go to bed earlier than that. I spent 2 weeks training the dog to tiptoe on the stairs so she wouldn't make any noise.

[00:16:22] Relevant I have former experienced training service dogs. We get another letter complaining about the noise on the stairs. Ok we manage to work out with the board that the stairs leading to the alley aren't insulated properly and about several people including the HOA's presidents bedrooms.

[00:16:39] So even walking quietly gets very echoey and loud. They insist that we have to use the elevator to relieve the dog. Haha no. The elevator is old, ratty and loud. My unit isn't anywhere near the elevator and it still wakes me up at night when people use it.

[00:16:58] The rattliness is also very disconcerting and it is unpleasant to be in the elevator. The dog doesn't like it, I don't like it and we're not using it every day. We tell them that they can't make us use the elevator just because we have a service dog.

[00:17:12] Because that's unequal treatment and illegal. They come back making a rule that no one is allowed to use the stairs after quiet hours except that rule never gets amended into the charter and we're the only people they try to enforce it on.

[00:17:26] I'm exasperated at this point, my girlfriend is trying to stay out of it for her own well being but we're not ready to really push back on them. It's not worth the drama. Oh no, not yet.

[00:17:37] My girlfriend realizes that the other set of stairs in the building doesn't have the HOA presidents unit. We start using those stairs instead. Suddenly all the noise complaints stop. Problem solved, narrator. But it was not solved, nay, it was merely the beginning.

[00:17:54] A week or two passes and we get ANOTHER letter, this time saying that they're going to fine us $500 every time there's a complaint of our dog barking and there have already been 3 complaints filed.

[00:18:06] Our next HOA bill will reflect the added $1500 and they will continue to add it as complaints are made. Some more context, my girlfriend is a combat veteran and her dog helps with situational awareness with PTSD.

[00:18:19] One of the dogs jobs that she's literally trained to do as part of her service is to alert when there is someone at the door. She'll bark for about 60 seconds or until we open the door. She's otherwise very quiet and again this only literally happens when someone rings

[00:18:33] our doorbell which is only ever in the middle of the day. I'm like 100% invested in it at this point. Fuck my school work, I don't need to write a thesis, I need these people to leave me and my girlfriend alone.

[00:18:45] I spend 2 days straight researching the relevant laws and legal cases and typing up a response to the HOA and if they fine us for a service dog performing her service tasks that we will be taking legal action.

[00:18:56] I cited case law, I gave specific examples, a date and timestamps of all the harassment. It was a very well put together letter and it worked. There were no extra charges on our statement. Finally I thought, I've got into them and they won't bother us anymore. Narrator? LOL.

[00:19:16] As an intermission, I would like to describe our downstairs neighbors who were very clearly the ones complaining about our dog barking. They would stay up until 3-5am having loud parties at least 3 or 4 times a week. When they weren't partying they were arguing.

[00:19:30] They would argue on the balcony, they would argue in the bedroom, they would shout at each other full volume for hours and hours a day, well at night and then sleep all day.

[00:19:39] If we made any noise during the day they would start banging on their ceiling, our floor to get us to stop. Things they banged on the ceiling for included, our dog eating out of her food bowl, me opening

[00:19:51] and closing drawers to get dressed in the morning, my girlfriend retching from food poisoning and me putting furniture together. Granted the last one was legitimately pretty noisy but it was also noon on a Wednesday and it was 30 minutes total.

[00:20:04] I'm not sure when they would have expected me to do that, maybe I don't deserve chairs, I don't know. But anyway, these nosy, noisy and yet noise intolerant neighbors were tattling on us and we were over it.

[00:20:18] We started complaining to the HOA about their parties and arguing, thinking well if we're gonna get fined $500 every time there's a complaint maybe this will get them to quiet down. We were given a formal response saying that our complaint was a dispute between neighbors

[00:20:32] and that we needed to resolve it ourselves. The HOA had no jurisdiction and wouldn't be intervening. Excuse me? I was equal parts enraged, terrified and helpless. The HOA were clearly targeting us because of the service dog as they were unwilling to enforce the rules on anyone else.

[00:20:51] Every time someone rang our doorbell and the dog barked, my girlfriend and I would panic, thinking that might be the time we get charged $500 and need to dive into a years long lawsuit. Anytime we heard someone in the hallway, we would clench up, thinking that another

[00:21:06] threatening letter was going to get taped to our door. Did I mention that all of these letters were delivered via scotch tape? Yeah, that detail never gets old. We were keeping a spreadsheet of every time she barked, for how long and why, just in

[00:21:20] case we needed to hire a lawyer to get their harassment to stop. Having two people with PTSD feeling unsafe in their own home is not a happy place to be. We both had hyper-vigilance kicked up to the max and were stressed out about ever being

[00:21:32] in the hallways of the building. My hair was falling out in patches, we still had no idea how bad it was about to get. The next hack by the HOA came totally out of left field.

[00:21:43] They accused us of not picking up our dog's poop and were planning to report us to the city. Sigh. Okay, more context. The alley next to our building was a relief area of choice for the entire neighborhood.

[00:21:56] I guess something like 20 dogs were relieving there per day and only about 3-4 of those, including ours, were getting picked up. My girlfriend and I were so frustrated by this because it's really gross and can spread disease.

[00:22:09] Anytime we were out there we would grab as much poop as we can with one bag and every few weekends we'd go spend an hour trying to clean it up. We were anti-poop in the alley. We contributed negative poop.

[00:22:20] To be accused of not picking up our dog's poop was a slap in the face and we were over it at that point. We basically wrote them a letter back saying, it's not us, prove it, get bent. If you're still with me so far, this was a mistake.

[00:22:33] There ain't no force in the world that can compete with a Karen who's just been told to prove it. Somehow this woman, the HOA president, knew my schedule and started following me in the hallways. Every time I left my unit she'd be leaving at the same time.

[00:22:47] When I went outside to relieve the dog she'd be checking her mail. If I went to get a package from downstairs she would need to adjust a seasonal wreath on her front door. Every time I left the house she was there.

[00:23:00] Once I took the dog outside to relieve her then this woman's blinds opened and I kid you not, she pulls out a disposable camera and takes a picture. Of the disposable camera, holy moly. I started noticing her pocketing something remarkably like a disposable camera every

[00:23:15] time I run into her in the hallways. The door to the outside cracks open whenever I'm relieving the dog and a little shutter click happens whenever the dog poops. If I turn around the door slams shut.

[00:23:33] I'm still unclear on how she planned to use this as evidence that we weren't picking up the dog's poop. All she seemed to be getting was evidence that our dog does, in fact, produce feces. LOL.

[00:23:45] This is all kind of hilarious in hindsight but at the time my girlfriend and I were wrecks. We were both terrified to leave the unit and were trying to take the dog out as little as possible, enough that she, the dog, was having accidents inside the house.

[00:23:58] I was supposed to graduate in a month and I couldn't write my thesis because I was so stressed out just trying to exist in my own home. We wound up renting a room in someone else's house for a week just so I could decompress

[00:24:10] and manage to get my entire 80-page manuscript written in that one week as well as a sternly worded letter to the HOA that if we caught anyone following us we'd be reporting them to the police. The stalking stopped, at least the following part.

[00:24:23] The shutters and disposable camera still opened and clicked whenever I took the dog out, but at least there wasn't someone actively pursuing me whenever I left the house. A month for that and you start jumping at every little thing.

[00:24:36] I'd love to end this story with a triumphant and then we won, but the harassment had the desired effect and my girlfriend and I moved out. There is one final denouement to this story though and that's on our literal very last day there.

[00:24:50] My girlfriend and I are packing up our moving van to move out to our new house. Someone else is also moving that day and has completely blocked the garage with their much bigger moving truck.

[00:25:01] We are forced to park in the only other available space, the back alley, and it happens to be blocking Karen's parking spot. We knew it was a risk but we also left one of us with the van the entire time so that

[00:25:12] we could move it should she need a spot. And oh did she need a spot. She was very annoyed that we were blocking both entrances to the building. She swore up and down that we were the only moving van and had no other idea who the

[00:25:27] other person was. And she was practically giddy when she realized exactly who we are and that we were moving out. In probably the most fake display I've ever seen, she told us how she was so sorry to see us go.

[00:25:40] But it was probably for the best because now everyone could calm down about the dog. There was a literal hour of small talk and us trying to get her to go away so we could just pack and leave.

[00:25:51] But she kept in the most saccharine way possible rubbing it in our faces how happy she was to have us go. My girlfriend and I both have social anxiety. We didn't know how to end the conversation.

[00:26:02] She wanted us gone, we wanted us gone and yet she just kept talking and talking and talking. And in hindsight I'm really glad she did because this is the cherry on top. In the stream of conscious mouth dribble that was this one sided conversation, she managed

[00:26:19] to let it slip she worked for my university in the insurance department and recognized my name. It's pretty unique. On the claims that were going through, this woman knew all of my diagnoses, knew when I

[00:26:31] picked up my medication, knew all of my doctor's appointments, knew how much money I'd been shelling out for therapy over the last year she'd harassed me and my girlfriend. She basically had detailed access to my medical records and told me that to my face.

[00:26:47] I wish I could have captured this moment on video or on disposable camera. Her face when she realized that she said that quiet part out loud. Ended that conversation so fast and ran away. My girlfriend and I just stared at each other with our jaws hanging open.

[00:27:02] And then we speed packed the rest of the van and got out. Epilogue Our revenge is living our best lives. We currently live on a 5 acre farm with 2 horses, 5 goats, 2 cats and 2 dogs.

[00:27:20] We tried to move in the middle of nowhere so we wouldn't have to deal with the neighbors ever again. We were super wrong this time but in the best way possible. One of our neighbors makes his own horse drawn carriage and only ever wants to talk about

[00:27:32] ponies and fixing things. Whenever something breaks in the neighborhood he's at their house fixing it. One of our neighbors is a wildlife biologist who works with birds of prey. I've gotten to help her release hawks and even a great horned owl.

[00:27:46] They're very soft by the way, more than you can imagine. Another of our neighbors is a retired navy seal and he saw me and my girlfriend who is in special operations love yakking together all the time.

[00:27:58] His wife rescues horses, dogs and cats and we talk about animals and animal training all day. I've never been such good friends with neighbors before. And all it took was moving to the middle of nowhere. My wife and I got married a year and a half ago.

[00:28:12] Our reception was a fairy themed murder mystery. We're both thriving and more than love and ever. Aww. Congratulations on your marriage by the way. You still owe us that pet tax. And it sounds like where you live now you bloody got the A-Team living with you.

[00:28:29] Sounds like a great bunch of people but um I shouldn't be shocked about HOAs. And I know people always tell me that not all HOAs are like that. We're only hearing of the worst of HOAs in these stories because that's why they're here.

[00:28:43] People always tell us about how crap they are. It's only in the comments when people tell me actually I live in a good HOA. But in these stories it always comes across like some sort of like massive power trip.

[00:28:55] Whenever I think of an HOA now the image that pops into my head is like what in my mind a typical like US neighborhood like the road down the middle. Attach houses down each side of the road but like you got this gang of HOA walking

[00:29:09] down the middle of it with a like a notepad inspecting the length of the grass. Checking the paint color on the houses. Oh there's a trash bag outside your bin is there? Get HOA'd.

[00:29:21] But like you said in this story I could only imagine the stress you went through in that time dealing with that having to tiptoe around your house. It's not the way to live is it? But perhaps you have your own HOA story don't forget like kindly did.

[00:29:36] Posted in r slash mark narrations don't forget to share your nightmare neighbor stories over there. And just a huge thank you thank you kindly for sharing your story with us. Truly truly appreciated.

[00:29:47] And thank you all for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much you are absolutely

[00:29:56] amazing please do never forget that and I will see you in the next one take care and much love.