AITA For Standing My Ground With A Neighbor Who Demands We Stop Parking Outside Her House

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00] Now today's first story comes from Spirited Warthog who says, Am I the arsehole here for standing my ground with a neighbor who keeps demanding we stop parking legally on the street? Neighbor drama. My partner and I, male 36, female 35, recently moved in from the city to a little village because we wanted better schooling for our two year old. As with most moves, we got a long to do list to get the house fixed up.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00] And we've been working through it. One problem has been our electric gates, which have been failing and locking shut. When this happens, both of our cars have been trapped on the driveway. In the past, we've had to get taxis to take our child to nursery because the gates literally wouldn't let us out. We've had two different companies come to look at them and both confirm that not only are the gates faulty, but the manual override is broken too. We're told it's an expensive job to replace them. The gates work as

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00] designed sometimes, but not all the time. So we figured the safest solution is to park our family car on the street so that we always have access to it. About a week ago, my partner got in the car and found a wet note on the windscreen. It had been raining, so the note was unreadable. Curious, I messaged our neighbors to one side and across the road as I had their numbers. I simply said we'd had a note left on the car. It wasn't legible. And if it was from them, we're happy to talk.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00] I mentioned that my guess was that it was most likely about the parking. Everyone replied saying it wasn't them and that they had no issue at all with where we were parking. My partner bumped into another neighbor, John, and he also confirmed that he had no issue with the car being parked there. A couple of days later, another note appeared.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00] To the owner of this car, can you please stop parking outside our wall? It was signed with the name of a house. John's house. The same neighbor who had literally told my partner days earlier that it wasn't him and he had no problem with it. Weird, but okay.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00] For some context, we would park directly outside our house, but it seems a bit dangerous. We live on the corner of a narrow street coming off a busy road. If we park outside our house, drivers turning in are basically greeted by a dark, barely visible car. The street lighting there is poor, so the parking spot we chose is maybe 30 feet away from the front of our house, directly under a street lamp where visibility is far better.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00] The next day, we get another note. I have told you already to stop parking in front of our wall. To try and stop this becoming a thing, we decided to write a note back, introducing ourselves confirming the car is ours and outlining our reasoning for parking there. When my partner went to drop off the note, John's wife appeared at the door before she could even knock. According to my partner, she took a slightly aggressive stance, stating, You will not park there again. I will not allow it.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00] I don't want to see your car there after tonight. In my opinion, no valid reason was given other than she didn't like it and felt it makes the street look messy. When my partner tried to leave and explained that she wanted to speak with me about it all, the lady followed her down the driveway, continuing to ask where she intends to park the car in the future. Importantly, during that conversation, when our reasoning of safety came up, the lady mentioned that she knows all about safety because she works at a local nursery.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00] My partner, who was caught off guard, reacted by confirming that our child goes to that very nursery. So now this clearly frustrated neighbor knows our child could be under her supervision. She didn't yet know their name or what they looked like, but she does know our address. And I'm sure that our details could easily be pulled up on the nursery systems. Should it be searched for? The very next morning, another note. As agreed, stop parking in front of our wall. We didn't agree on anything.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00] At this point, because of the nursery connection, I wanted to de-escalate the situation. I bought chocolates and wrote what I thought was a fairly respectful note explaining our position. The note reads as follows. Minus road slash names for privacy. Such and such house. We wanted to follow up regarding your concerns about where we have been parking. Please know that it has never been our intention to cause any upset or inconvenience.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00] We've been made aware by other road users that the combination of the narrow road and the junction with such and such road and the limited lighting can make parking directly outside of our house unsafe. For this reason, the spot beneath the streetlight has proven to be the safest option in terms of visibility and hazard avoidance for all road users.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00] As the road is a public space, we understand that no one is able to reserve or control its use and after speaking with our other neighbors, they have expressed that parking in that spot is considered completely reasonable. With this in mind, we do intend to continue parking there. That said, please do not hesitate to let us know if you have gardening work scheduled and we can move the car further down the road on those days. We do hope that you can understand our reasoning behind this decision and appreciate the consideration for residents and road users.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_00] Kind regards, OP. To context, there is space around three foot between the wall and the car. We just appreciate that if they're looking to cut hedges from the outside, it would be easier with more space. Anyway, my partner delivered the above note today while I was picking up our kid. By the time I got home, this neighbor was on our porch, raising a voice at my partner. I approached the front door, handed our child to mom and took over the conversation.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00] She now knows what our little one looks like. She'd already handed back the chocolates and note saying that she won't accept this. She insists we're disrespectful, that she's never had any trouble with neighbors before and that we need to sort out our gates rather than park on the street. I asked her directly what her issue with the parking was and all she would say is, I just don't like it there. There is no access problem or safety concerns.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00] She tells me to park in front of another neighbor's house and suggests that I need to have a word with my partner because she doesn't listen. I'd like to think that I remained polite and listened to what she had to say. I said I'd consider her opinion and eventually got her to leave. We haven't moved the car. I'm annoyed. It's legal, safe and in my mind, reasonable. She's calling us rude, disrespectful and insinuating that we are troublemakers.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00] So am I the arsehole here for standing firm and continuing to park the car in the most convenient spot for us, despite this woman's frustration? I think you've been super polite in this situation. The chocolates, the explaining, the going around to introduce yourself, etc, etc. You sound like a great neighbor to have, to be quite honest. You've got faulty gates for one, so you're choosing the safest spot you can with proper lighting for consideration for other people.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00] I've told you before, I used to have a neighbor, not quite like this, but used to patrol our neighborhood and anything wrong with anyone's houses or whatever the reason would be. That she would report it, she would cause trouble, just absolutely in everyone's business all the time. It's just like, oh please, piss off. She'd patrol the neighborhood the same time every day. You'd see her walk past your window, like literally scouring what's going on around her.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00] I think the biggest concern that I couldn't help but notice was the nursery connection. And I think I'd be having a quiet word with that nursery about the situation that's going on. And just saying that me and this worker of yours are in a bit of a dispute right now. Just to let them know. The commenter says to OP, not the arsehole, but you also need to make the nursery aware of the issue. And ask that she not have any unsupervised time near your child. OP responded to that saying, really appreciate this is the top comment.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00] We were undecided as to whether to raise it due to not wanting to cross any professional or personal boundaries. But you guys are absolutely right. The commenter replies saying, the nursery needs to know that one of their employees is screaming at and threatening people they know to be parents of a child in their care. In front of the child in at least one case. And yes, saying things like, I will not allow it and following people to make sure they follow their rules is threatening.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00] Tell them you're afraid because a person who works at your child's nursery knows what your child looks like. And if at all possible, get some kind of camera on your car. Even a cheap battery operated one intended to watch inside a house. You'll need proof if and when she does something to your vehicle. After all, she will not allow you to keep parking there. It sucks that this is a neighbor you'll be stuck with. It sucks that you'll probably have to move your car in the long run.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00] Hell, I'd move it now so I wouldn't have to walk my kid near that house. Not the arsehole. Also, is John aware of any of this? Ooh, good point. Any chance he actually didn't lie to your husband? And one more comment said, First time I've ever heard of dick tats before. But OP did update the post and says,

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_00] We've spoken to the nursery regarding our child's contact with this woman. They've requested that there be none. They've assured us that they take this kind of concern seriously and will update us on Monday. That seems to be coming routine. There was another note on this car this morning telling us to move it ASAP. We've added it to the pile and will keep all of them in case we ever need to refer back. We also contacted our local non-urgent police line for advice. They checked the address and confirmed we're within our rights to park where we are.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00] They said notes on the car and an aggressive tone don't meet the threshold for threats. Only direct threats of violence or property damage would. If the notes become threatening, they said we should call back. They mentioned that if she keeps coming to the door repeatedly, it could potentially become a stalking issue. But that feels extreme at this stage. A lot of comments suggested disconnecting the power to our gates when they are open, which is a viable option. It may invalidate our car or our house insurance though.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_00] So we're planning to speak to our insurer before doing anything until this afternoon. The intercom buzzed. It's me again. Your car is still there. You have to move it now. I said I was busy, but she insisted I come out and talk to her. I probably should have ignored it. It was pouring with rain, but I went out to speak to her. She just repeated the same things. So I explained everything we've looked into and the advice we've received. Her response was that she knows the police says it's fine, but it's not fine with her.

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_00] I was honestly thinking about backing down and just moving the car to stop this whole situation, as she's so unreasonable. Until she said that if I didn't move it right now, she'd move her own cars out of her garage and block ours in. One in front, one behind. Making our car essentially unusable. I tried not to laugh at her. Surely this would only make her problem worse, as it was such a petty thing to suggest. I said okay. Said I had to go inside now and shut the door on her.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_00] Dash cams arrive today and I'll be fitting them tomorrow. What I imagine there will be a fresh note on the car or a blockade to deal with. Making it impossible to move it onto the drive, even if we wanted to. And the commenter said on the back of this one, call the non-emergency line again and ask if her block in your car as described by her would be illegal. Point out that you are parked legally, and since she does not own the street, she has no legal grounds for demanding you move.

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_00] Talk to a lawyer about a restraining order to stay away from you and your property. Another commenter says talk to her spouse and let him know what she's doing and has threatened to do. Let him know if she does that and your car is damaged in the process, you'll be forced to involve the police. He may decide that enough is enough and reign her in. Telling her to quit terrorizing the new neighbors while he's at it. And another commenter says you're placating them, and as long as you continue to do so, she'll feel entitled to give you orders.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_00] Put a firm boundary in place. Example, no. I'm done talking about this. And also, trespasser from your property. Oh, bloody hell. I know OP's having a rough time at the moment with this neighbor, but I am invested. Because you just know, no matter what, this neighbor isn't going to leave it at just that, right? And on stories like this, I always think about the neighbor's life. Don't they have anything better to be doing? Like I was talking about that neighbor that used to patrol my neighborhood. Get a hobby of some sort. Learn to crochet.

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_00] Paint Warhammer. I remember this. I remember that exact neighbor once having a right go at us. Because we collected a bunch of like cans, like pop cans, like Coca-Cola, Sprite, whatever the cans were. And I don't know if you know the thing, but like if you stand on it, if your feet are the right size, the cans will like shape around your foot. And so then they will stick to the bottom of your foot and you can pretend to walk around like Robocop or something. And that's what a bunch of us were doing. And she had a right go at us about it. First, it was something about the noise.

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_00] Then it was about scratching the pavement. Bloody hell, neighbor drama man. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from RedditGirl125. And it says, My boyfriend, 27 male, has prohibited me from saying a certain word and gets angry at me, 27 female, when I accidentally say it.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_00] My boyfriend does not like it when I use WTF while we are texting or chatting online. WTF is something that I have been using since I was 13. And honestly, it's a hard habit to break. It is like asking someone to stop typing lol or LMAO. I know he doesn't like WTF because it has the swear word in it. And he has told me that it sounds very rude to him. I'm confused why I'm not allowed to use WTF because he says fuck a lot while we're together.

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_00] I told him that he uses the swear word too and his response was. So it's my fault. I can sort of see how WTF can sound rude to people and I honestly have been trying my best to stop using it. But today it just slipped because I was shocked by something. Can someone help me understand his perspective? Lin says to OP, is he controlling about other things too? How long have you been together? OP says no, not really. Been together for two months.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_00] Lin replies saying yeah, I thought it wasn't long. Listen, this is just the beginning. This is all kinds of emotional fuckery in your future if you don't call him out on this bullshit when it happens. And probably even if you do. I'm sorry, what? You want me not to say fuck? Why not? You do, but I can't. He'll give you some bullshit and say something like yeah, I'm not going to not do something that you do. And he can get mad, but you just say no and move on to some other topic or activity.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_00] If he gets mad and treats you poorly, calls you names, says other hurtful things, then you say something like I won't be treated this way. And if he doesn't stop, then you leave. But even if you can't put your finger on why it's bullshit, you can still just not agree and then make sure you don't do it more often. Because that would be childish and petty, even if it would be satisfying when you're irritated with him. But don't do it much less. Yes.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_00] An ex of mine said when we were about a month in that he hated the way I spat when I brushed my teeth. Newly out of an abusive relationship, I said, uh, sorry. In a sorry you feel that way kind of way. And carefully, because of the previous abuse, I had to be careful not to fall into the same pattern of accommodation. Did not change my behavior. We were together for a year and it never came up again. I broke up with him for unrelated reasons. It's entirely possible that this isn't actually going to happen.

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_00] But with the fact that he got mad when you said WTF, I'd bet $1,000 on emotional abuse within six months. And with this going on so early, when it does happen, it's going to be bad. Also, I'd bet more money on him calling you a whore or otherwise, getting jealous and demonstrating that he has different standards for men and women. Particularly when it comes to sex. Opie responded saying, I guess right now I feel my fault in this is that I said I would stop but I didn't. I mean, I tried really hard but I let it slip.

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_00] Do you think that he may be mad at the fact I couldn't keep my promise more than the fact I used WTF? Even if it is that, I still think he should be able to recognize that it was a complete mistake as habitual behavior for me. Which is a hard thing to go cold turkey on. Leet Dude says, The issue isn't you said WTF or not. Or it's your fault or he should be mad or not.

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00] The issue is you're dating a very controlling person who got you to agree to never say the word WTF and then gets mad at you when you use it. Even when you point out he uses the word too. That's a huge and major issue and has nothing to do with if you said WTF or not. You're only two months in. Do you really want to date a person who makes rules like these for you? Commodore says, Quoting Opie, I feel like it's my fault in this that I said I would stop but I didn't.

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_00] I mean, I tried really hard but I let it slip and then says your only fault is to agree to this stupid rule. First of many he will have that will apply to you and not to him. Abuse starts with small steps as the abusers try to get a feel of what they can do without you leaving them. Why exactly did you agree to this? Knowing that this rule is not intended to apply to him at all. Abuse says I agreed because I thought that even though I don't see WTF as rude, if my partner takes it that way then I will try my best not to offend him.

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_00] Also at the time, I thought that when he asked me not to say WTF, he was implying that we both should not swear. But I later realized that he continued to swear. The commenter replies saying, So now that you know this rule was intended only for you, do you still think it's reasonable at all? You intend to comply with the no WTF but only for redditgirl125 idiocy. Opie says I'm confused though because I remember I have used the word fuck once or twice but he didn't care at all.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00] But it's only when I say the acronym WTF he gets mad. Makes me think that there is some history or specific meaning to WTF that I'm unaware of. Everyone was going down the path of, you know, controlling behavior, potential, the start of an abusive relationship, etc. And Opie came in with a first update and says I talked to my boyfriend after the incident. And this is how it basically went down. A equals me, BF equals him. I said, are you still upset with me? He said, no, I don't care anymore.

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_00] You don't have to change yourself for me. But just to let you know, I'm not attracted to girls that say WTF often. I said, is it just the acronym WTF or is it the F word too? He said both. I said, okay, noted. Will you stop swearing as well? He said, okay. I really don't like your attitude. Every time I bring up an issue, you say, can you do this as well? Saying, okay, noted was good enough. Let's not talk for a while. Message me next week. And Opie replied, okay.

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00] Opie continues saying, I wanted to bring up issues such as why he feels he can swear, but I cannot. But as you can see, I didn't even get to talk much as he's refusing to talk to me until next week. Right now, I do not mind as I have a lot going on my plate right now. I don't want to deal with anything until my stuff gets sorted, but I'm appalled by his behavior. I do not believe I displayed a bad attitude. I simply asked if he's going to do the same because he swears as well. Am I missing something here? Did I really display bad attitude?

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_00] Sneaky's quotes the boyfriend saying, I really don't like your attitude and then says, this is so sketchy on his part. He's basically complaining that you're asking that he be held to the same standard as you are. In your mind, you're equals. It's clear that in his mind, you're not. Honestly, I think you need to take a good long look as to whether you should continue a relationship with this guy. He sounds manipulative and controlling. Cat Fancy says, You should have replied WTF.

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00] Seriously though, the fact that he complained about your attitude just for making a fair point says a lot about him. He sounds manipulative to me and you should not message him next week. So, OP did come in with what they titled their final update. And it said, Hey guys, wow, I did not expect to get so many replies from my update but thank you all. Here is basically what happened. Sorry if it ends up being a long post.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00] So, it didn't take me long to decide that I'm done with this guy but I did leave my clothes in his car so I wanted it back. Unfortunately, he's out of the country on a business trip for two weeks or so and he left his car at a friend's house who happens to live in my neighborhood. Since he explicitly told me not to contact him for a week, I was going to take the advice of people here and just never talk to him again. Get my stuff quietly and tell him it's over. I contacted his friend and asked him if I can come to his house and pick it up

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00] so that it would be of no inconvenience to him. His friend then offered to come to my place and drop it off. An hour or so later, I get a call from my now ex-boyfriend, thank God, who's flipping his shit saying that I'm bothering his friend and asking why I'm so desperate to get my stuff back. And at this point, I think he is absolutely crazy because his friend is the one that offered to come to my place after I insisted twice that I pick it up whenever it is convenient for him. He then rambles about how my clothes are probably only worth $20

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_00] and then he offers me $100 instead of giving my stuff back. WTF? What the fuck? And I tell him that I do not want his dirty money. I tell him he is controlling and manipulative and he tells me he is dropping me, not knowing I already did that a while ago. He then blocked me. So yeah, I'm not getting my stuff back. An hour later, he calls me again and says that he does not want to burn bridges. He then talks about how I will be successful in life,

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_00] talks about all the good traits that I have and then tells me that he hopes I will not talk bad about him to anyone he knows. He cares a lot about his image. He told me that he is shocked that I called him manipulative and controlling as he never heard those words from anyone before and he does not believe he is. He then said, if I'm manipulative and controlling, why do I have so many rich and successful friends? After that, he tells me that I am immature and he is much more experienced in relationships because he has dated more girls than I have dated guys. He's dated six,

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00] I've dated four. He keeps rambling on about how our city is small and he is well known, so he needs to keep his reputation up. They called me to make me feel better. He told me that if I were to tell the whole world about the situation, everyone would agree with him. I laughed because I literally did ask, the world, the world being Reddit, and practically no one sided with him. I wanted to send him the link, but he blocked me on everything. He did apologize for being manipulative, controlling and possessive,

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_00] which really surprised me, but he said it in an annoying tone that did not sound sincere, but hey, at least I got some sort of apology. He then tells me that he completely moved on from the whole WTF incident a long time ago, that he wanted to reinforce how bad it was that I never do it again. He said if he didn't act mad, then I might think it's okay and we'll do it again. This made me feel like he was treating me like a dog that needs to be trained and conditioned to do certain things. I can obviously see that this whole phone call

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_00] was another manipulation attempt to keep my mouth shut and to not spread rumors about him, which I wasn't going to do anyway. So I get mad and call him delusional and he calls me crazy and hangs up. Maybe I could have dealt with it more maturely and didn't let my anger get to me, but I can only take so much and I don't regret it. In good news, I feel happy and free. I look forward to finding someone that is the right man for me instead of being with someone that is malicious. Thank you to everyone that responded

[00:24:16] [SPEAKER_00] and took the time to read all updates. Holy shit, absolute bullet dodged in that situation. Commenter was quoting, he told me that he is shocked that I called him manipulative and controlling and that he has many rich and successful friends, et cetera. Then the commenter says, oh my God, this part. It's like he's trying to check all the boxes on the emotionally abusive narcissist checklist. Well done, OP. I'm glad you got out of there. Zorchold says, next step, talk to the friend

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_00] and get your stuff back anyway. OP says, his friend blocked me too. I think my ex told him to block me. And it's Lloyd just replies with, WTF? WTF indeed. What an absolute Burke. I'm just so, so glad that OP's didn't continue with this relationship, but a little part of me always feels sorry for the next person he bumps into. That behavior ain't going to change anytime soon, is it? But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. There's just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the story, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being here. And hopefully, I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.