WIBTA For Committing To A University Faraway Even Though My Mother Is Sick | r/BestOf

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from DrawingThink9439 and it says,

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_00] Would I be the arsehole here for committing to a far away university, even though my sick mother needs me to help care for her and the rest of the family? I, 18 female, took a gap year after high school and applied to college this year. Basically my mum, who is very sick, almost bedridden half the time, but she still does her best for us, has been begging me to go to the local university about 5-10 minutes and commute.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't have a problem with that necessarily, but it doesn't have my intended major. I actually got accepted into a school that does have my major and a well-renowned program at that. Basically it was my dream school throughout high school before my mum's sickness got that bad. But it's on the other side of the country, so I wouldn't be able to spend time home except for breaks. My mum's illness means that I spend a lot of time caring for her and helping her with tasks around the house. This is definitely the reason why she makes me stay.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00] But she says it's for financial reasons and because she's afraid for my safety. I have two younger brothers. One is 16 and the other is 9, who I drive to school because my mum physically can't. My brother doesn't have his license or permit and my dad refuses to. I'm also the primary caretaker for my youngest brother and my mother.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_00] The oldest one is often not home for school activities. I do a lot of chores at home like cooking, cleaning, laundry, buying groceries since everyone is either too busy or unable to do housework. I don't mind really, but I'd love to go back to school and get a degree soon. And I know that my high school granted me a lot of scholarships since I have a fairly high GPA. I just know that leaving would be a burden for my family. But to be honest, I really want to pack my bags and tell them to suck it up.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00] I only applied to three schools. The out-of-state one I want to commit to, the local one I got accepted, and the third one that ended up rejecting me. I think my mum knows I'm thinking of leaving. She keeps saying stuff like, what am I going to do when you move out one day? Would I be the arsehole here if I left? My brothers definitely don't want me to leave. I'm not sure if my dad cares. A lot of my close friends are saying I'm being selfish.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00] Edit, just to clarify, I don't think this has anything to do with me being female. My parents have always supported my education and want me to be successful and have fulfilling jobs. My mother is just very against me leaving our hometown. She asks me repeatedly to live with her until marriage or when she dies. When she asks my brother as well. She wants me to go to college, but she needs me to stick around and help her at home too. As for my dad, he is rarely home. There are days when I don't even see him, even though we live in the same place.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00] He leaves so early and comes back so late. I really don't have a good grasp of what he thinks. This is an incredibly sad situation. This girl is 18, life just getting going, took a gap year to help her family, got accepted into a dream school with scholarships, and her friends are calling her selfish. That's just wild to me. You know, she's not the parent. She's not the spouse. She's the eldest child who has somehow been promoted to manage this whole house.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00] A full-time carer driving people around, cooking, cleaning, basically the emotional support system at the same time. And nobody thought at some point in the future that she's going to have her own future, that she'll eventually leave. And don't get me wrong, caregiving is absolutely brutal, and the mom's illness is absolutely heartbreaking. And I do have sympathy there, because, you know, that's got to be absolutely scary. But saying, stay home until I die, or you get married?

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00] And where's the dad in this? He just seems like non-existent. He won't even drive his own kids to school. He's home. He just refuses. And as hard as it's going to be for OP, I think she should absolutely go. But also, OP saying it's not because she's female, I have a different feeling on that. It felt like when she said that, it was like, no, I don't quite believe that, to be quite honest. What she described, you know, doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, groceries, childcare, school runs.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00] Well, her 16-year-old brother isn't doing any of that, and the dad's doing fuck all by the sounds of it. But a commenter says to OP, you're only 18. This is a sad situation for you to be in. She cannot rely on her children to care for her. Is there not anyone else at all? Is that illness going to cause her to pass soon? Maybe then, I'd like maybe stay? Why does the dad not help more? OP says they have issues with their marriage. Her family is mostly dead or living in another country. And we can't afford to fly them over.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] My dad's side of the family doesn't keep contact with my parents, although they're friendly with me and my brothers. So I don't think they'd help us. Another commenter says, just because you're female does not mean you have to dedicate your life to serving your family. The male member of your family can cook, clean, learn to drive, walk, do laundry, and take care of themselves and your mother. Go to college. Enjoy your life. Not anyone that tries to tell you to abandon your future to be a servant to your family. Go low contact or even no contact with people who want you to stay home,

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00] yet they themselves are doing nothing to assist the rest of your family. You are not your family's only option. I hope you're replacing. I don't think it's being a girl thing. I just think it's an oldest child thing. Since I know my mom's oldest sibling, a brother, who is also very stay-at-homey slash self-sacrifice. He never went to college. He took care of a lot of his younger siblings, including my mom, instead and raised a lot of money to send several of them to a first world country since they live poorly in their hometown.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00] Commenter says not the arsehole. If you stay, you will hate your family. Also double check on the expenses for college tuition, incidentals, and board and lodging. Make sure you know the cost. If your dad is going to support you financially, I suggest you get a part-time job and apply to as many scholarships. If your mom gets worse, they might need to hire a caregiver for her. Good luck. Opie says thank you. I think I brought it up a couple of times to my dad, but nothing really came of it. I'll try to bug him more until I get a more definitive answer.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says not the arsehole. It's 100% not fair. They're asking you to do what you are doing now. It's certainly not fair for them to ask you to give up your education to continue to do that now that you're an adult. And let's be clear. If you stay in the area as an adult, they will expect you to spend as much time as possible caring for the family and will not respect your need to devote time to your education. That said, if you do leave, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that they will not welcome you back.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00] It's likely that they will look at you leaving as rejecting the family, and they will take what they think is the same action towards you. They will be wrong on both counts, but that won't matter. I hope that doesn't happen, but you need to be prepared. I hope you make the right choice, and I wish you all the best with whatever you decide. I hope he says I've been talking to my brothers, the 16-year-old one in particular, about this. He told me that he's kind of scared of being left alone, but he'd support me if I tried to move out.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00] He says that mum being frantic about me going and will probably cut me off. Nine-year-old was very distraught at the thought of it. Dad didn't really say much, but he doesn't think he'd cut me off. And even if he did, nothing would really change in my life. He rarely talks to his own kids that live with him, lol. I want to make sure that the two brothers will be fine if I were to move out, so I'm still kind of deciding on what to do. The commander says, not the arsehole. It is not your responsibility to be your mother's caretaker for the rest of her life. That is what she wants.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00] If you do stay and get married, do you honestly see her letting you go live with your husband? No, she'd expect him to move in. You to stay and still take care of her. Go, live your life. Your father will have to step up. Brother will have to get his permit, but he hasn't because he sees he'll become the new taxi driver for mum. Or they'll have to hire someone to help. Opie says, my brother doesn't have his permit, but it's more so because he's not allowed to. My dad waited until I was around 17 to get my permit

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00] so he wouldn't have to pay for a driver's ed. Then I took the test when I was 18, since I never took the course. He plans on doing the same with my brother. But I was thinking of just paying for my brother's driver's ed myself so he can get it earlier. He does want to drive. I've talked to him about that. Someone says, why isn't Opie's 16-year-old brother asked to help with contributing the duties with caretaking? Opie says, I never thought much about it since even before a sickness got that bad, he was always more involved at school, whereas I tended to stay at home more.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00] So I assume that was why they made me do all that. I think the last time I spent excessive hours after school was elementary on a band in fifth grade. So it was two months later that Opie did come in with her update and said, okay, okay. A lot of people asked in my original post, so update time. I'm no longer living with my family right now. I'm staying with a friend whose family has been super kind. They keep saying I don't have to pay them back, but I did get a job so I could at least contribute to their groceries and pay for my own bills too.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00] I committed to the school across the country too. But basically the rundown if you guys are wondering why I left, aside from the obvious parentification. A few weeks ago after the original post, I talked to my brother, 16 male, but he turned 17 recently. He's learning how to drive a car and he started riding his bike to school instead of having me drive him. He's trying to step up now at home. He does marching band, but it's not marching season anymore, so he's home more often. So he started helping me out there.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00] He helped watch our youngest brother while I was still living at home so I could focus more on preparing for college, applying for jobs to save up, and my other chores like groceries and helping mum. Anyway, so I'm off track. Like a month after that, I ended up committing to the school. I talked to my parents and let's just say it did not go well at all. We had a pretty messy argument. I won't go into detail, but my mum started talking about how no one would help her out anymore if I left because her extended family doesn't really like her

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00] and her parents died years ago. I argued back and said that I needed to get a degree or else I'd be stuck doing the chores forever. And basically, my mum and dad kind of admitted that the plan was to keep me at home doing the chores forever. So that was awkward. I stayed there for a month later and we either said nothing or argued really terribly and it did take a toll on my health. At some point, I was bedridden and sick and my mum just screamed at me for not helping her. I think the last straw was at some point

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_00] she tried to throw a curling iron at me. So that night, I just up and packed my stuff. Every day, my parents have been texting me, calling me disgraceful and stuff. I know they've gone on social media, painting themselves as victims because their daughter is ungrateful and won't contribute to the family even when she knows the mum is sick and the dad is busy with work. They bombarded my emails and my phone so I had to get new accounts and numbers so my job could contact me more easily without me having to filter the spam.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_00] I do feel horrible about not finding a caretaker for my mum before leaving but to be honest, I'm just fed up. I love my parents and my brothers, I really do. I still keep in contact with my brother. He says that my mum and dad have been fighting each other mostly but he usually avoids staying home too much from now on. He has his friends drive him and the youngest to like libraries and parks since apparently they get pretty violent. Like my mum will be laying on the sofa and if he's in a bad mood she tries to throw whatever's closest to her

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_00] at whoever's closest to her. I'm glad I left but I really do regret not being able to protect my brothers more. But I'm also super excited to go to college. I've been counting down the days until I move in. I've met some people online who are super nice and most of them are younger than me since I took a gap. I'm just waiting to move in now. Hopefully when I get to uni I can get a stablish job and be able to help financially support my brothers from there. Fingers crossed. A top commenter on this one said

[00:12:08] [SPEAKER_00] Honestly your dad is a lazy piece of shit. Why isn't he stepping up? Your brother is now 17 as capable of helping. There was no reason to put your life on hold for your family. You've done more than enough and your father has an utter disgrace and a deadbeat. Opie says I think my dad is seeing some other woman right now. He tries to hide it but it's obvious to the rest of us. The commenter says It's not up to you to take care of your parents. You're not the arsehole. You're choosing the right path for yourself by getting a degree and moving away.

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_00] The fact that they expect you to stay is absurd and a horrible expectation. It's not your fault your other family isn't helping and it's certainly not up to you to fill that role. They're being incredibly manipulative and guilt tripping you. Hope you stay far away from them for a while and take care of yourself. Opie says thank you for the support. It means a lot. A commenter says someone should tell a trusted adult at school or some type of authorities to help with your sibling's situation because they are minors and should not be around individuals

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_00] perpetuating violence. Reporting it now could help them in the long run. Eventually your brother will leave and the youngest sibling will be alone trying to figure it out. Opie says thank you. I'd definitely do so on Monday. And I'm just incredibly glad that Opie is taking steps to go and actually live her life. Absolutely the right thing to do. I can't help but feel for the siblings in this situation at the same time. Being left with those parents like that

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_00] and one day I imagine the nine-year-old will be left in that situation by themselves unless something happens in the meantime which is an incredibly sad thought. But Opie sounds like an absolutely wonderful individual and I really do wish them all the best going forward. But what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from IcyZooKeeperGame12 from the AmIWrong subreddit. It says,

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00] AmIWrong for telling my ex's new boyfriend about her with a one and a half year update after. My 36 male now ex 34 female and I had a 15 year long relationship. As with everything, the relationship wasn't perfect. After 15 years, we thought it was impossible to continue and broke up. We have a kid together and began to co-parent well. I moved on from the relationship and found someone that made me happy. While dating for a year,

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00] my ex continually would bring up the subject of getting back together. She would tell me that she couldn't see life without me, that she always loved me and wanted the 15 years to not have gone to waste, that our kid was the happiest when we were together. I would continue to hold my ground, advising we were not happy and that it would likely end as bad if not worse as it did. My relationship with a new girlfriend didn't last. It was amazing until it wasn't and at that point, it was a train wreck that you couldn't look away from.

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_00] I walked away from that relationship knowing I needed to heal from what was done. Nearly a month after the breakup, my ex brought up us being together again. She went through the same reasons as before and added in how she had been working on herself, rediscovering who she was and what she wanted in her life, but still wanted that life with me. She did highlight on our kid's happiness again. I spent a few days wrestling with a decision. I did love her and our kid would be excited to have both her parents back.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_00] In order to do this, I'd have to drop some barriers I put in place to prevent myself from being hurt. But I decided that even if I could be mostly happy, it was worth a shot. I went home. I showed up and gave her what she wanted. She had said that physical touch and emotion were lacking in our relationship. I went all in. I made sure to do almost everything she asked for. The one thing I wouldn't give in to was a proposal. We had a discussion years previous and I explained that I did not believe in marriage,

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00] but I will be everything a husband should be. But before we continue, why did I leave in the first place? Our relationship got worse and worse. It was driven by her inability to be financially stable. She would overspend every opportunity. This wasn't a glitch that happened once or twice. It was all the time for the entire relationship. She would have these dreams of more, bigger house, new cars, vacations, designer bags, etc. Told her repeatedly all that would be possible

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00] if she helped support and contribute to our family. I always kept the roof over our head, food on the table, utilities paid, and the kid clothed and taken care of. I paid to put her through school three different times, failing out the first, and pursuing a degree and then advanced degree in her dream job. With this job, she began making more than me and I was still the only one providing for our home. She still demanded more, but would never contribute to that. She spent thousands

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_00] on herself while never saving or asking what the bills even were. and she knew what they were. I'd made spreadsheets, billed due boards, the works. As she would overspend at a new income rate, she'd fall short on things like her phone, car insurance, and at the time, brand new car. I had to make up the difference and that was always a struggle. Over time, the more I struggled, the more I withdrew from the emotion and input into our relationship. We talked many times through the years as to why it was happening

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_00] and how it could be stopped. Still, it continued. So, she asked me again to come back. She said she had made changes. She was paying all of her bills. She was saving money and she was financially stable. I came home Monday after work. My kid was excited to see me on a day I wasn't supposed to pick her up. I walked over to my girlfriend, gave her a kiss and told her I love her. I went all in. All of the emotion, the touch, the intimacy. She was smiling and almost glowing. This lasted a whole 12 days.

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_00] On the 13th day, we were taking the boat out. As we left the marina, she mentioned we needed to have a talk. I told her we would once anchored. My kid left with some friends of ours and we decided to have the talk. She advised me that she'd been talking to people on Facebook dating while we were separated. Of course, I knew this. I even pushed her forward to do it, wanting her to move on. And there was a guy who she had met and dated for a little bit, but it didn't seem like it would go anywhere. I told her I knew, but didn't understand

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_00] why this was important. She then told me that he messaged her recently and mentioned pursuing a full relationship. She said that since he showed interest, she was more interested in trying that than to try us again. I was hurt, pissed, and slightly stunned. I asked her why the hell she asked for us to be a thing again if she was entertaining that all along. She told me that she knew what she said and asked for, but she found better. Better? Alright then. She then said she was more interested in starting with someone new

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_00] who didn't know about her past, that she didn't want to rebuild, she wanted new. I asked her again why she would ask me to come back. Then it popped into mind. I was of course the backup plan. Duh. I told her that I chose her, knowing all of her faults, all of her choices, all of the things she had done in our relationship. I chose her and our family. She responded that I was right. I did, but she doesn't trust me. I wasn't a safe bet. I was a risk she wouldn't take

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00] because she didn't want to fight to happen in the future where I bring up her past. Some of this really didn't make sense. Had always been there, supportive and dependable. I decided the rest of the talk could wait. Our daughter had come back. The next morning I asked her what she meant by not being safe and being a risk. She told me she deserves her happiness and wants it with someone who doesn't know her past, but she doesn't owe me answers. I need to accept it and move on. I told her I had moved on.

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_00] I'd started rebuilding my life and moving forward in a new relationship. She was the one repeatedly asking me back. She told me that she knows that, but the new guy had showed kindness and interest and she wouldn't ever let me hurt her again. The hurt me was leaving and moving on when our relationship dissolved into nothing. I told her that I'd always been dependable, always been the provider, always did everything for our family. I made our lives possible even with her tanking our financial stability. She responded that I ruined her whole life

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_00] and don't deserve her, that I need to accept she doesn't want me and I need to move on. That little voice that told me to love her went away. That little bridge that existed through everything we experienced went up in flames. My mind broke. How could she tell me I ruined her life while making her entire life possible for 15 years? I wanted answers to that and she refused to give them. She told me I didn't deserve them. I stormed off, lost in the oblivion of mindfuck that had just happened. She had mentioned his first name

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_00] in a conversation and that he was military. I checked her Facebook and there he was. Now, I was hurt and I was pissed. Not a good combination. I decided he needed to know everything she'd ever done. I wanted him to know what she wanted hidden. This was the message. Hey, his name. You probably know who I am. If not, I'm girl's name now ex. She is not who she appears to be. I wish I could have been warned about her morals and character before I started dating her. She has cheated on

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_00] every relationship she's ever been in multiple times. She's cheated on her husband, admitted she used him to get out of a small town, claimed he beat her and raped her. She self-inflicted bruises and caused intentional escalation in front of others to discredit him. She lied, stating her high school boyfriend threatened to kill her and beat her. Lied again, stating he tracked her down in Tulsa after moving, broke in, beat her and left. Again, she self-inflicted torso bruising and a facial cut. She lied about having cancer.

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_00] She looked up research patients under a specific type of cancer, learned the drug names and symptoms and side effects, imitated them, claimed she had to go to Dallas to have a cancerous tumor removed from an area between lung and heart, told me not to contact her while gone as her husband would have her phone while in surgery. Stated to not talk to husband about the cancer or health issues as it was a heavy burden and emotional trigger for him. Returning home, she wore wound and ace bandages around her upper torso. Left one night, stating the staples

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_00] had pushed out of place and had to go to the emergency room. Refused to let me take her. Had to take her home and allow her husband to take her. Provided fake staple as proof and continued to wear wound and ace bandage wraps. Later stated surgery was laparoscopic and staples internal. Explaining such a small scar once bandages removed. The full truth came to light during the pregnancy of our child as she neglected to list cancer in family history when pressed about it as it was something so vital. Had to threaten to contact

[00:22:52] [SPEAKER_00] her mother for information. Finally told the truth that it was all alive for attention. She attempted to be a stripper to pay her bills while lying about where she worked. Lied about finances and spending resulting in her leaving my home when required to be financially responsible. Told my family I was abusive and cheating on her. Needed their help to get away from me. During time away and finding out she was pregnant could not maintain financial stability due to overspending resulting in all utilities and disconnect.

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_00] No food in the home and eventually eviction. While gone, began dating a druggie. Rekindled relationship with me and continues to cheat with him. Stating she had the right to do so. In case I was just pretending to love her and care for her. Return to our relationship. Still refusing to be financially stable. Our child is born and she thinks there would be no way I would kick her out. As her text messages read she was secure now. I broke up with her and told her to move out. I dated a co-worker for a couple of weeks and she called this

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_00] cheating. Ended my relationship and came back to support my 8 month old. Continued refusal to be financially stable resulting in relationship instability due to our problems. We tried to part ways. She was caught at work doing duties unskilled resulting in termination. Return to relationship. Continued refusal to be financially stable for family resulting in further breakdown of relationship. Begins telling the same lies as previous when caught cheating when inquiring about her whereabouts.

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_00] Block in and out times and unusual spending locations. Begins telling people we are not really together. We're just raising our child as roommates while demanding to work on our relationship. Proof found she was attempting to cheat again or as a higher potential did cheat with multiple co-workers. Her and her friend lied about cheating stated they were drugged and one was raped to cover it up. Later lied about someone she is bringing to my home wanting approval from my family for her to date him following her cheating on me.

[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_00] Called him by a different name. When asked who he was he gave his first and middle name. It was the same person who allegedly threatened her life broke in and beat her. After our relationship ended she vandalized my new girlfriend's car and egged her house. She stole her belongings to dress in them and take pictures. She stalked her for months. Between June and August 18th she attempted to return to our relationship multiple times. When she received what she wanted for two weeks she decided to as she put it pursue a relationship

[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_00] with someone who didn't know about her past. She deserves happiness and I've ruined her life. States that requiring her to be a financially stable adult and to contribute to household is extortion coercion and justification for cheating. I just learned she is currently four months in error on rent continued massive overdraft on accounts unable to afford home needs but can spend money on fast food coffee random Amazon purchases etc. I know she has been seeing us both at the same time

[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_00] so if you have been together since the middle of August she's been cheating on you too. Good luck. The note B says am I wrong for doing this and yes I know and fully understand I'm an idiot for keeping her through this many years and more so for allowing myself to go back again. Bloody hell that's all I could think about OP answered it at the end there that there was a fool for staying all these yet pasting and all this stuff went on and you went back to that and I was like holy moly that's some stuff right? Commoner says to OP wait

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_00] you were together for 15 years since she was 19 but she had a husband. OP says yes she married him at the end of high school moved across the state right after the wedding claimed he secluded her and became abusive though it's much later she admitted that it was just using him. Someone said how old was the man she married at the end of high school? OP says they were the same age in school together. Commoner says first do a DNA test because she's cheated so many times how do you know the kid is yours? Then go no contact with her

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_00] this woman ruins lives. OP says I did the first time she played the how do you even know it's yours card? She's mine. OP also adds alright ladies and gents I went out to meet the guy tonight I found out that while my ex and I had discussed not introducing our kid to new interests for at least 6 months she violated this and introduced my kid to him yesterday. We talked about the message I sent and he wanted some proof. When provided with what I had in hand he became noticeably irritated and said he'd be talking with her

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_00] about it to see what she had to say. Before he left we discussed the overlap on time of relationships. He showed me his text through the last 7 weeks of her stating I wasn't any part of her life except the kid's dad. He understood that she had of course been cheating on him during their short relationship. I received a message from her a couple of hours later it said thanks for fucking up my life again you fucking pick assuming it means prick hopefully he ran. OP comes into this nearly 18 months later

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_00] with an update and says it was a long read and it's been a long while but here is the update. Where is she now? Well he's not her boyfriend anymore now he's the husband. They married about 6 months in shortly after they got married she had to stop working due to a knee injury that has hurt so bad for years and she can't keep working on it. Now he's paying for everything and he got one hell of a dose of reality when I sent him her nearly $5,000 turnpike bill that came to my mailbox and many others.

[00:28:18] [SPEAKER_00] Unfortunately for her she's learned that her Mr. Military has some deep and nasty anger issues that came to surface right after the honeymoon phase was over. No I didn't step in no I didn't play the white knight I walked away write to a lawyer and fought for my kid for me I had some bumps at the start but I kept working on it I decided to walk away from the dating world for a while focusing on my daughter I didn't get full custody but she's with me 75% of the time plus any additional where she wants

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_00] to be with me Now we only talk when it's specific to my daughter For a brief time we talked a bit more freely at drop offs but that ended when she in front of her husband was saying goodbye She let off thank you for keeping her this weekend have a good week love you I looked at her husband trying to make a joke I asked if he was planning on staying over or if that was meant for me while it got a bit nasty for me for a few days I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at their place He was territorial I reminded him that I was happy she was out of my

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_00] life as possible and it simmered down Therapy is a part of my life now For those of you who think there is some old taboo about it Don't It's good It's helpful At least try it if you're struggling for something A handful of months ago a wonderful woman came into my life She's my best friend and more She's amazing with my daughter and she has amazing kids of her own Her family knows the past and pushed me to the future I'm doing good I hope you all are as well Bloody hell I'm just going to turn this one straight to you guys

[00:29:46] [SPEAKER_00] because that was a trip But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below Just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me So thank you so so much for being here and hopefully I'll see you in the next one Take care and much love