My Wife Wants Another Child But It HAS To Be A Girl | r/BestOf

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider? Hit that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from StructureDizzy2076 from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit. And it says, AmITheArseholeHere because I refuse to try for a daughter.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00] Now a couple of trigger warnings before we do get into this story. There is talk of child abuse and there is also talk of reproductive coercion within the story. So if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. My wife and I have been having a hard time. She is a teacher and her job is stressful. Every day she talks about how much she dislikes her students and their parents. In many ways, this has bled into our home life.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00] She often will get frustrated with our son and say, you're acting like so-and-so or so-and-so in my class does the same thing. This is confusing for him because he doesn't know who those people are. Our son is starting kindergarten in the fall. My wife wants to have a second baby. She is sick of being a boy mom and wants a daughter. I do not think we're ready to have a second baby.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00] For one thing, we've had several conflicts with our parents about childcare. Both have said they will help us, but her parents are flaky and my parents are judgmental. For a second thing, we're not doing well financially at the moment. Expenses have gone up and that is stressful. For a third thing, my wife wants to have a girl and I'm scared of how she will react if that doesn't happen. My wife said I'm being selfish because I got a boy and now think we're done. She said if we had a girl, I would want to try again.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00] That's not true. I don't care. I just think now is a bad time for a second child, period. Work is stressful and home is stressful too. Am I an arsehole? I don't see how having another baby in this situation would be a good idea at all. Opie basically listed it out. You know, got flaky in-laws, judgmental parents, financial strain going on and a wife who seems to be burning out at work and taking it out already on their existing kid.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00] And her solution is to have a baby and specifically a girl baby because somehow being a boy mom is the problem here. It just, it's all worrying, right? That's the fact that, you know, there's a whole load of red flags, but it's the fact that she's asking specifically for a girl. And if it turns up to be a boy, which, you know, is pretty much a coin flip, what's going to happen? Is she going to reject this boy, take it out on this boy too? And if it's a girl, is she going to start rejecting her son?

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00] Really concerning. But Zach says, what would happen if you had another boy? Would you just keep trying for that girl? Not the arsehole. God, I don't think I've ever seen a comment blow up like this. I did not think this type of story was so common. Opie says, I've tried to say this. She's confident our second baby would be a girl. Reddy says, my boss has six kids. Only one of them is a girl. The last three have all been attempts to get a second girl. Bass says, not the arsehole.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00] She's clearly not stable enough to have another baby right now. She needs to focus on the child she already has and get a therapist. And maybe even finding another job. Because life is really hard for teachers these days. Opie says, she really doesn't enjoy it. She says the kids are impossible. When that movie Weapons came out, she said the scene at the end with the weaponized kids are just what our students are like all the time. Sufficient says, not the arsehole. Um, she's not handling parenting well with one. Having a girl will not change that.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00] She has expectations of ideal child behavior, which no kid rises to. You'd be stuck with two confused children and even more frustrated wife. Regardless of gender, you have every right to stop at one, even if you originally planned for more. And with this fact pattern, you should. Yikes. Opie says, right. This is what I have tried to tell her. A girl won't come out of the womb in spotless white pinafore and fold her hands in her lap before asking for a cup of tea. A girl will cry as much as a boy, poop as much as a boy,

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00] and spit up as much as a boy. Babies are babies. Profane Bakes says, you're scared of what will happen if she didn't get a girl. Really think about that. You're not an arsehole. She is. Opie says she is confident we will have a girl, but that isn't guaranteed. She keeps saying she wants a daughter because boys are messy and too much energy. But what will she do if we have a son? And it's twice the mess and energy. Also girls are messy too. All babies are messy. Commodore says,

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00] it sounds like your wife would instantly have a new favorite if she has a girl. I feel bad for your son. OKFX says, sounds like the girl will suffer if she comes out energetic and not the girly pink Barbie his wife wants. Opie says, I also worry about this. My cousin is very close in age to me. Growing up, all she wanted to do was practice karate and crawl around in the creek, getting all muddy. What if our theoretical daughter, that might not even materialize, is like that? Speed Demon says, not the arsehole. I'd say beyond that,

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00] the stress as you mentioned, the whole gender issue needs to be addressed. I mean, if your wife is sick of being a boy mum, what is she going to do if the next kid is a boy? Just abort and try again? Opie says, we'd have two boys. And I imagine she'd be twice as unhappy. Short says, my question for you is, when will you start putting your son first? You should be telling her that therapy is required to even stay married at this point. Babies are off the table until someone gives her a clean bill of health mentally and physically. And when she stops treating your child like shit,

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00] that's bare minimum. She wouldn't even be living in the same house with my child while she's acting like this. Verbal abuse is still abuse. And you allowing it to continue is pretty damn close to you condoning it. Stand up for your son for fuck's sake. Tell your harpy of a wife that it stops immediately. Or the only damn thing she's getting is divorce papers. She's abusing your child. Opie comes in with an update and says, I'm going to keep it short and sweet. She was already pregnant. That's why she was so upset.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_00] I told her I don't want to have another baby right now, that we aren't in the right place for it. And she told me she was already pregnant. So that's that. I asked her if she knows how this happened. She said it doesn't matter. And I said I wouldn't be mad. But I just want us to be honest with each other. She said she stopped taking her birth control because it was making her feel crazy. And she didn't tell me because she didn't want to make a thing about it. It's definitely not a thing now. She'll be able to finish this semester and start the next one.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_00] But then she'll go on maternity leave. This is obviously going to be tough for us financially. And I'm worried about our son more than anything. I told her we need to make a plan to make sure he doesn't get sidelined by the baby. She rolled her eyes at me. She told me that he is fine because he's a big boy now. He has his friends at kindergarten and he needs to focus on those peer relationships. I told her that I'm serious about this and it turned into a fight. I said if she can't be a mother to our son, I will take him to my parents and stay there with him until she can.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_00] She said I was being dramatic and that everything will be fine and he will love his sister. We don't know the gender yet, but she knows. I guess that wasn't that short or that sweet. Oh well. Commodore says, quoting about the son being fine and being a big boy now and says, well crap, your boy would be ignored by his mother. I already feel sad for him. Your wife needs therapy. Efficient says, it is most definitely a thing that she stopped taking her birth control and didn't tell you. Read that back.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00] She stopped on purpose and didn't tell you on purpose. What part of that is okay? She chose to get pregnant without your input and now you're stuck with a woman who's going to hate this child if it's a boy. And he already hates your son because he's a boy. You made your own choices, so it's your son I feel bad for. Edit for context, OP chose to stay with this woman after being deceived into conceiving a child he said he wasn't ready for. Her behavior is deplorable and it is absolutely assault. What I meant though is that he chose to stay

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00] and this baby if it is a boy. Your wife is gender obsessed and your son will figure out really soon if he hasn't already that his mom doesn't love him. I'll wish you luck and suggest therapy for your son. He's going to need it. Commodore says, oh this is going to be messy. She's already treating your son horribly based on the last post and if this baby isn't a girl she will have a meltdown. You need to document everything she says and does to your son starting yesterday. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this OP. Soler says,

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_00] So, I'm not sure if anyone else has informed you of this. But if your partner stops taking birth control and doesn't inform you that she has stopped taking birth control and allows you to engage in sexual activity with her intentionally after stopping without telling you. She has just had sex with you under false pretenses. In some jurisdictions your wife raped you multiple times. No matter what jurisdiction you're in stopping birth control without informing your partner is considered domestic violence and sexual abuse. Your wife domestically and sexually abused you and have considered rape as well.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_00] That is how serious what she did is. Don't just roll over and take this. Your wife seriously fucked up and in some places she literally committed one of the worst crimes a human being can ever commit against your person. And she's treating your child poorly because she is obsessed with the idea of having a daughter. This woman does not respect you. Your child, what you want, the bodily autonomy of her husband or men in general. You need to treat her like a threat to your emotional security and the safety of your children. Because she is. And one more commenter

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_00] from Blueberry Waffles who says, I'm glad someone is pointing out the seriousness of the situation. Opie seems to have just brushed it to the side and maybe that's because they feel they have no choice but this is serious. I'd be contacting family lawyers and asking what your options are. I would not raise another child with this woman and would fight hard for full custody. Document everything you can remember in regards to a treatment of your son. Look up your state's recording laws. In my state, only one party has to consent and then get her to admit she intentionally stopped birth control

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00] without telling you on a recording. Screenshot whatever you can, just document the crap out of the past couple of years and the next couple of months. If you can't get full custody, the therapist may be able to guide you in how to best support your son. Although it sounds like mum might not even fight if you try to get full custody based on her behavior towards him. If this baby is a boy, that baby could be at serious risk with the behavior she is displaying. Go on record with the doctors therapy ASAP.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00] Even if you don't think he needs it, he absolutely does. And he likely will long term, whether you leave or stay. If you stay, go on the record with the doctors about your concerns about her mental health. Discuss her treatment of your son and your fears in regard to this pregnancy. Therapy is non-negotiable for all parties involved. Her, you, your child. Either get a vasectomy or do not engage in sex with her again. She can absolutely never be trusted after this. And the commenters are already pointing out

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00] the seriousness of this situation and rightfully so. People are seeing the bigger picture, the deception, the pattern of behavior and the complete disregard for what he wants. And, you know, they're not pulling any punches with it. And the little boy in this situation as well is absolutely heartbreaking. Stories with kids, man. They are five years old. It's just absolutely heartbreaking. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_00] and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Post Intervention. And a quick trigger warning before we do get into this story, there is abusive behavior, predatory behavior as well within the story. So if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description along the timeline below. Thank you. It's titled My 21 Male Family Just Had An Intervention With Me Regarding My Girlfriend 27 Female Of 2 Years. I'm so broken.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00] I know what I need to do, but I lack the wherewithal to do it. Before I start, sorry for the monstrosity of a story. I'm sure this will turn out to be. I've got a lot on my chest. I've been dating Jessica, not a real name, for two years. It's been a rough two years. This is my first relationship and when it began, I was not in the most healthy of places. To keep things sufficiently vague, I come from a background of death and abuse. One of my guardians, the only one that really loved and cared for me,

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_00] died when I was a child. The other was abusive, really abusive. I ended up running away in my mid-teens and was taken in slash all but officially adopted by a former friend, now brother's family. I had all kind of crap that I had to work through and I was starting to make significant progress when I got into a relationship with Jessica. She was seemingly everything I always dreamed of. Intelligent, caring, empathetic, beautiful. You name it and she had it.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_00] We ended up dating when I was 19 and she was 24 and I was and am utterly devoted to her. Looking back now, red flags abound but at the time I couldn't see any of them. There were throwaway comments about how all of her ex's families hated her because they felt she was taking away their child. How she wanted to be loved in an all-consuming way. The jealousy of my family whenever I spent time with them and the guilt trips for not spending every second I had with her. I was not and am not

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_00] without my own problems. I mainly had problems communicating and problems with anxiety due to the fact that I didn't know if I was capable of having a healthy relationship. But this relationship was the final push for me to get better. Therapy, intense self-reflection and an overwhelming desire to finally be unbound from my past drove me to a better place. I left my darker self behind around three months into the relationship and shed that skin finally. The freedom and joy I felt upon burying those horrible habits and obsessions

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_00] over the pain of my childhood. A process that took almost four years. I can't even explain it. It was beautiful and I took this newfound energy and passion and drove it all into the relationship. It almost seemed that as I got better Jessica got worse. Her jealousy ramped up to the point that I was getting phone calls randomly throughout the day to verify where I was. She would go through all of my stuff. I was constantly accused of cheating of falling out of love or planning to leave her.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00] This culminated with her hands around my neck. They'd acclaimed to be for attention because she thought I was cheating on her. I was shattered. I didn't know what to do. So I called my adopted mother. She told me to wait until Jessica was at work, take a day off school and pack up my stuff. I went along with this but instead of that I ended up talking to Jessica. I confessed everything to her and she got upset with me for breaking her trust by talking to my mom. We agreed to separate living arrangements but we both mutually wanted to continue

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_00] to work through our issues. I started seeing a therapist to try and solve my cowardice and inability to confront her. Later, it became apparent she was still going through my stuff. I confronted her about it and she agreed to go to therapy. She quit shortly after without telling me until months later. Things have gotten better, baby steps but the constant paranoia and every other problem is still there besides physical violence in slightly smaller doses. Despite all this, I love this woman with all my heart.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_00] I'll do anything for her and I have. I've moved across state, changed degrees, done everything for her. I recently went down to see my family. I only get to see them a couple of times a year and Jessica refuses to go. She says that I ruined any chance of her having a relationship with them. My family has been a constant source of strength for me. They've never directly told me what to do, just given advice. This was the first time they directly confronted me. My sister was almost in tears about how I almost

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00] never see or talk to them anymore. How they think that if I continue this relationship, they will fall to the wayside. My mother said that she can't tell me what to do, but that I better never start a family with this woman for the sake of any children. My father said that she would drive me to an early grave, just like my horrible guardian did to my loving guardian. My brother said I've got to let her go for her own sake and I'm enabling her and stopping her from actually getting better through not manning up. I know they are right.

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00] I've known that they and all my friends have been right for ages. It's taken me over a year to get to a place where I'm confronting her about the crap she pulls only about 60% of the time. I just seem to have this emotional block. I can't finish it. I love her too much and can't hurt her. I know it's stupid. I know it's ridiculous. I know that in reality, it's ridiculously simple, but I just have to do it. But none of that is helping me actually do it. Like I said, I'm in therapy and trying to work through stuff, but I thought I would try to post a Reddit

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_00] to see if anyone has been through something similar. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated. This is just like so incredibly sad because it's clear that his abusive past has almost, I don't know if this is the right word, like trained him. Like this is OP's normal. This is what he associates as normal. Like the love with chaos, the walking on eggshells, earning affection, all that kind of stuff. And Jessica's doing the same things. So instead of them

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_00] looking like red flags, it just feels like familiar really. And whilst the family was right with OP, the brother's comment did get to me a little bit, you know, telling him to man up in a situation like this. Probably well-meaning, but it misses the point, right? This isn't weakness. It's, it's, it's someone reacting to trauma. But a commenter says to OP, look, when you've been abused as a child, you don't grow up with healthy boundaries, a strong self-esteem, lots of confidence and a good strong judgment. There are people out there that actually look

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_00] for people without those things, are attracted to it. She is one of them. She's pulling the entire cycle of abuse on you right out of the checklist. You can read more on that with thehotline.org. What I can tell you is that you are deeply codependent on her, which she fostered. So it's like an addiction. You need to break up with her when you're away from her. You need to be safe. She's going to try and talk you out of it, lie all she can, manipulate you like crazy and she's going to attack you verbally and physically if she can get to you.

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_00] It's all done to get you to fall back into line. People like her use words and actions for effect and the addiction that you feel once you break up, you're going to go into withdrawal. It's an addiction and it will be painful and she's going to try and hoover you and get you back. Expect stalking and further abuse. It's going to be bad. You know what's worse? Staying and being abused more and still eventually having to go through this. So break up over text, block her and call the phone company and change your number.

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_00] Set all electronics back to factory and make sure you change all your usernames, passwords and info afterwards. She probably has spyware on there. Make sure she's not on your bank account or anything. Go and close out the bank accounts if it is and get free then get some help. You've been abused again. It's bad. It's going to be different than you expect. Make sure you have a good psychiatrist and therapist to work with on this and stay safe. She's absolutely a predator. She's not going to sit down and discuss this with you. Therapy with her

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_00] will only allow her to abuse you more. She isn't going to admit it. You aren't going to get her to take responsibility for her actions and if she physically attacks you, stalks you, make reports with the police. Keep reporting it and ask for a restraining order with copies of the police reports. Stick to it. This is how you protect yourself and get her on record with her behavior. This isn't about hurting her. It's about protecting you. Don't let her go with it. If she stalks or harasses your family members or friends, they can also make their own reports

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00] and request restraining orders. If she shows up at your work, file a report and ask for a restraining order. Keep it up. Don't give her one chance. If she sees a crack, she will push harder. You will have to be steel here and you do not deserve this. No one does. You're going to have to rebuild your self-esteem, confidence, learn to trust in your judgment and work on building healthy boundaries and defending them. Stay out of relationships for a good while. Work on being happy. Happy with who you are. Happy with your strength and weaknesses.

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00] Happy with your life. Other people can't fix us just like we can't fix them. It's all possible to be happy but it will take work. I'm glad you have your family that care about you there for you. Take them up on the offer. Save yourself, OP. No one else can do that for you. And I'm so sorry you're in this situation. You don't deserve it. No one does. OP says, thank you for this. I just read your post multiple times over. I guess this is part of the problem. She always acts so naive

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_00] whenever I confront her about these things. It's hard to believe she's doing these things on purpose. Though my family insists she is. I guess I just see her as a victim too. And that makes it harder. Again, thank you for her post. It is really helpful. OP did come in with an update and said first off, big thanks to everyone who supported me. Thank you to everyone who messaged me. Thank you for everyone who commented. I read through your post multiple times including one final time before I sent my final text to Jessica.

[00:21:26] [SPEAKER_00] Yes, I broke up with her tonight. Not even an hour ago. After so long I finally did what had to be done. And it sucks. It sucks even more than I thought it would. And I knew it was going to be one of the hardest parts of my life so far. I feel a lot of things right now. Sad, happy, angry, exhausted, energetic. The whole range. I miss her already but the barrage of text she sent me afterwards solidified my position more than any advice and it followed no reasonable narrative either.

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_00] She would just switch from bitter attack to sweet talk. It's going to be a long, hard road. I know that but I'm glad I've made my decision. Again, thank you all so much who commented. You came to me when I was completely broken and helped give me the strength I needed to do what had to be done. It is funny. In the final moment all I could think of was the scene of Game of Thrones when Jon Snow says I'm tired of fighting. I have no idea why that stuck out and became so poignant in my mind but it did.

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_00] Again, thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't thank you all enough. Lord Durin says and now his watch has ended. Opie's laughs and says yes, my friend who I was with at the time I broke up with my girlfriend said that I should have sent right after my break of text. My watch has ended. Joy Girl says remember to block it everywhere and change your passwords just in case. Opie says first thing I did change was all the passwords. I thought she might know or could guess. The second thing I did was change the rest.

[00:22:55] [SPEAKER_00] I learned my lesson after she somehow got into my iCloud and I started to use completely random passwords. Someone says has Opie let his family know? Opie says that's great advice. I did reach out to my family to let them know I broke up with her. I thought it was important not only to let them know and reopen the lines of communication that had faltered because of the relationship but also so they could hold me accountable and keep me on track if I do falter. I don't see it happening but better to set myself up for success.

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_00] Good on Opie for getting out of that situation and hopefully things are better going forward and good on Opie's family as well but you know they didn't push him away or anything or tell him to leave they're just there for him in the background waiting for him when needed. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_00] KiwiSingle3963 from the true off my chest and family drama subreddit and says I secretly paid off my brother's debt and now he thinks he's a financial genius. Three years ago my younger brother 28 male was drowning in credit card debt like 47k deep. He'd always been terrible with money buying stuff he couldn't afford eating out constantly you know the type. Our parents kept bailing him out and it was causing huge fights at family dinners.

[00:24:26] [SPEAKER_00] I34 male had just gotten a decent bonus at work and honestly I was tired of watching him struggle and listening to my mum cry about it. So I did something stupid. I anonymously paid off his entire debt. It took me about six months to do it in chunks so it wouldn't look suspicious. I made it look like the credit card company had some debt forgiveness program he qualified for. Here's where it gets weird. He thinks he did it. He's convinced that his budgeting system and financial discipline

[00:24:56] [SPEAKER_00] got him out of debt. He's been giving financial advice to our cousins. He wrote a whole blog post about his journey. He literally tried to charge our sister $200 for a financial consultation. Last week he told our parents he's writing a book about personal finance. My mum is so proud she cried. My dad keeps telling everyone his son is a self-made success story. I want to tell him the truth because watching him act like some finance guru is driving me insane.

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_00] But if I do it'll destroy him. He knows his entire comeback story is a lie. My wife says I should just let him have this. That maybe the confidence is actually helping him stay on track. But yesterday he posted on social media about how anyone can do it if they just have discipline. And people who are actually struggling with debt were commenting asking for advice. He's given them advice that literally doesn't apply because he didn't actually do what he thinks he did. I didn't know what to do. So I let him keep living this

[00:25:55] [SPEAKER_00] lie. So I tell him and risk destroying his confidence. I created this mess and now I'm stuck watching it spiral. A commenter says to AP, based on the personality of your brother you described, you need to first tell your parents ASAP with proof and receipts and then together as a family to your brother. If you just tell him we all including you know, he will say you are lying and trying to destroy his life when reality, you saved it. You need to go do this ASAP so he doesn't destroy lives of other people. He meant so

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_00] well and I'm sorry it didn't work out. Some people just don't want to be helped, otherwise they would help themselves. He rose says you need to tell him this isn't confidence, it's insanity. It needs to be destroyed lest he find himself in a worse place. He sounds like my cousin when he was manic. Andy says yeah, if you don't tell him there's no lesson learned and he will do it again. Also should be clear that this is the last time you will be bailing him out. I've just got a feeling on the

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_00] back of this, even if it does come out, OP does tell his brother that he helped him out of a really shitty situation, the brother isn't going to appreciate it and he's just going to throw it back in his face or something along those lines. But OP comes in with an update and says wow, I genuinely didn't expect this to blow up the way it did. First of all, thank you, seriously. I made this account just a vent and I never thought so many people would care about my stupid family drama, lol. For those who didn't see the original post, basically I'm the

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_00] idiot who secretly paid off his brother's 47k debt and now the guy thinks he's Dave Ramsey 2.0 trying to charge family members for financial advice. The comments were intense. A lot of you told me I'm an idiot for doing it anonymously, that I'm enabling delusion and that I need to tell him ASAP before he hurts more people. And honestly, reading through all that at 2am with my chest tight, you guys were right. I've been carrying this for three years. Three years of watching him talking

[00:27:53] [SPEAKER_00] about discipline and mindset at every family dinner while I sit there smiling like, the smiling emoji, do you know how hard it is not to choke on your food when your brother says, I just decided to be great and your mom is nodding like she's watching a TED talk. But the comments about him giving advice to actual struggling people. That's what got me. That's not funny anymore. Someone could actually make a bad decision because my brother told them to just believe in yourself and the real answer was your older brother is a

[00:28:23] [SPEAKER_00] sucker with a savings account. So yeah, I'm going to tell him probably this weekend. I'm terrified not going to lie. Again, thank you for the reality check. This internet stranger thing is pretty cool sometimes. I'll update you all after it happens. Pray for me. So OP did come in with that update and says, so I, 34 male, have been dealing with this for three years and honestly, I need outside perspective. Quick backstory, I secretly paid off my younger brother's 47k

[00:28:53] [SPEAKER_00] credit card debt three years ago. Made it look like a debt forgiveness program. He thinks he did it through his financial discipline. He started a blog. He tried to charge my sister $200 for consultation and wants to write a book. You can't make this up. I posted on another subreddit asking for advice. People told me I should tell him, so I did. Sat down with him this weekend, showed him everything, bank statements, payment confirmations. He went quiet. Then he said, honestly, I always felt like you

[00:29:22] [SPEAKER_00] looked down on me. This whole thing just proves it. You didn't help me out of love. You helped me because you wanted to feel superior. I didn't know what to say because honestly, he might be right. I sat there in his bedroom looking at his financial discipline books on the shelf, his blog printed out on the desk and I realized, maybe I never saw him as an equal. Maybe I always saw him as the screw up kid who needed saving. My dad just sat there the whole time, didn't say a word. Later, my mom texts me.

[00:29:52] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe he's not ready to hear it yet. Classic mom. But here's what destroyed me. After I left, he texted me. Thanks for telling me, but I don't think we should talk for a while. I need to figure out who I am without everyone in this family trying to fix me. The family group chat is dead silent. Nobody knows what to say. I kept replaying that moment, his face when I showed him the documents, the way his voice cracked when he said, you think you're better than me. Maybe he's right. Maybe I've been playing hero my whole life when

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_00] really I just wanted to feel like the good guy. I thought I was doing the right thing. I really did. Now, I didn't know anymore. But now, I'm going to turn this one straight to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories you'll love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.