My Sister Threw Me A Surprise Birthday Party And Invite MY EX!

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And today we're going to be looking at the Am I The Arsehole subreddit. Stories that potentially don't have updates. There may be a cheeky little one here and there. But stories that we generally miss because we usually cover the stories with updates.

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_00] So I thought we'd just do an Am I The Arsehole episode for this one. Let me know your thoughts and let's crack on with it. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Unknown Lee who says, Am I the arsehole for skipping my own surprise birthday party once I found out it wasn't really for me? I've never been big on birthdays. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate them. I just prefer something low key. Dinner with my closest friends. Maybe watch a film. Something small basically.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00] Everyone close to me knows this. Especially my sister. Let's call her Maya. Who loves big gestures and believes every birthday or achievement needs balloons and a theme and much, much more. Two weeks before my birthday, Maya started acting strange. She kept asking me if I'd be free that Saturday and acted weirdly when I asked why.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00] I suspected that she was up to something. So I told her again that I didn't want a party. She just laughed and said that as per usual, I was being no fun. A couple of nights ago, the night before my birthday, one of our mutual friends let us slip about it being a party. She mentioned what she was wearing. Anyway, turns out the whole family was invited and it was at our parents' house. Some co-workers were also invited but here's the kicker. My fucking ex!

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00] For a little context, me and ex broke up about two months ago. It ended pretty badly. No abuse or cheating but it wasn't a pleasant ending. I've made it pretty clear to everyone in my life that I want no contact. Maya knows this. However, she's told me multiple times that I should just get over the whole situation because he's a nice guy and that he's been a part of all of our lives for years.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00] The first thing that I did was call Maya, demanding answers, and she didn't deny it. She just said that we could finally talk it all out. She admitted that she hadn't just thrown this party for my birthday, but also so everyone could see my ex again and we could fix things between us.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00] She literally said to me that I'd thank her later. I went mad. I said that she had no right, that I would have been ambushed into a situation on my birthday, and this was after all I had specifically said that I didn't want a party. She just said that I was dramatic and bloody ungrateful, and that she had this whole thing planned because I wouldn't find better and it was a good gift.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00] She said everyone had gifts and traveled, but everyone was excited. So yesterday, my birthday, I completely powered off my phone and didn't let anyone know other than my best friend, so we went out for lunch and went on a walk together. Ended up having a great day. When I finally got home, I turned my phone on and it was mental. Maya was fuming. People were disappointed. People even said I embarrassed Maya.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00] Maya is now basically saying that I ruined the whole party and made it all about me. It was literally my birthday. She says that she did it out of a good place in her heart and that I should at least apologize for not showing up and letting people know. So am I the asshole? Absolutely. Of course. You're not going to be the asshole at all. You said you don't want to party and you don't want any contact with your ex.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00] Your sister chose to ignore this. She's saying it came from like a good place, but people who genuinely act from a good place don't act like this. They don't ignore people when they say they don't want to party. They don't ignore people when they say they want no contact with their ex. Your sister ignored it and tried to ambush you on your birthday for herself. And I kind of wonder what her feelings are about your ex.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00] But whenever there's like stories like this, I just, I can't help but like just pat myself on the head and think, what are these people thinking? Why do they think this is a good idea to begin with? Inviting someone's ex to their surprise birthday party. I mean, fucking hell. But Blue Popple says, not the asshole. Don't be surprised when Maya and your ex end up dating. See, Little says, not the asshole, but Maya is right. You did make it about you.

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_00] Before, it was all about her. Her throwing this big party. Her mending your relationship with your ex. You robbed her of the opportunity to pat herself on the back. She did it out of a good place in her heart. For her. Ooh, had me in the first half. K23 says, not the asshole. You set a reasonable boundary. Well done. She says that she did it out of her place in her heart and that she'd at least apologize for showing up and letting people know.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00] And then says, you have nothing to apologize for. You were not hosting and you never agreed to come. This is all Maya's fault. She needs to apologize to her guests. Individual says, not the asshole. I find it interesting that some people are commenting that OP should have reached out to guests and her ex to tell them she wasn't coming. None of this was her responsibility. She made her wishes and feelings clear to her family. They ignored it.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_00] I think it's safe to say that she made her feelings and wishes clear to her friends surrounding birthdays and her ex before this incident. If they were unsure, they absolutely could have reached out with something like, hey, any big birthday plans? And slash or I heard from slash someone mention ex the other day. Are you all still no contact? It seems that everyone ignored OP in favor of what was more comfortable slash fun for them. The fallout is not on OP.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00] OP did add in the comments somewhere that, you know, she's got a little hint that sister may be interested in the ex at the same time, which would explain a whole lot, right? Some people suggesting that OP should leave a group message somewhere saying what the exact situation was. So there's no bad light on OP kind of thing, which I don't think is particularly a bad idea.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00] Just saying, you know, my sister decided to throw this secret birthday party and invite my ex along at the same time when when I told her I didn't want this in the first place. You know, just so it says this is all on the sister. But what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from Jekko 503 and says,

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00] This still weighs on me. Some background. My mom was abusive growing up. I got bad enough that at 12, I left home through the courts and moved in with my dad. That decision fractured our family. On the court paperwork under name of child, she wrote something like, I have no son. I've carried that with me ever since. I had little contact with her after that. Briefly at 17, again in my early 20s and not consistently until much later.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00] I'm now almost 40. I spent over 20 years drinking heavily and finally got sober in 2018, which is when I made an effort to reconnect with my family, including my mom. She's closer to 70 now and has zero contact with two of her three kids. Reconnecting wasn't easy. When I asked if she ever reflected on the abuse, she told me I was an adult and needed to let it go already. That was a turning point.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00] I realized any forgiveness would be one-sided. If I wanted peace, it was on me. Since then, our relationship has been rocky but present. We've had family reunions and even traveled overseas together for three weeks. We argue often, usually over small things, but we stayed in contact until this. Last summer, I invited her to my city to see a band she's loved since I was young. The plan was simple.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00] She'd arrive on Wednesday, we'd go to the concert on Thursday, she'd fly out to visit my sisters on Friday, and I'd leave early Saturday for my own trip. She agreed. When she arrived, she mentioned she only bought a one-way ticket and would book the Friday flight later. That made me uneasy, and I reminded her several times to make sure it was booked. I thought I was clear in my wording and tone that I didn't want anyone staying in my house while I was gone. Friday came. The concert was fine.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00] Then she told me she still hadn't bought a plane ticket. And now, with prices having gone up, she planned to stay a few extra days while I was away. I told her plainly, I'm leaving at 5am tomorrow. You need to get on that plane. I even offered to cover the extra cost. She refused and invited herself to stay at my place. That's when I said clearly that I wasn't comfortable with anyone staying in my home while I wasn't there. She accused me of not trusting her and said she was my mother.

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00] I said it wasn't about trust. I just didn't want anyone in my house. The argument escalated. Finally, she said, Fine, take me to the airport. I think she expected me to cave. I didn't. I packed the car, grabbed my daughter, and drove her to the airport in silence. When we arrived, it felt like a standoff. Like she was waiting for me to say, Never mind, don't go. I didn't. I took her bag out, set it on the curb, and told her, If you can't find a ticket, let me know.

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00] I can help you pay for a hotel. Then, I left. Months later, I'm still thinking about it. I don't think I stranded my mom with no options. I offered to cover the cost of the flight and hotel. But I did leave her at the airport, knowing she hadn't booked a ticket. From I, the Arso. I found this one really just honestly sad, because you can still see Opius chasing some kind of connection or something from his mom,

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00] but she's still trying to control him. And it just seems like the abuse hasn't gone. It's just kind of changed form, if that makes sense. Ignoring his boundaries. The last minute changes him. Just waiting for him to cave it. Like the same old cycle. But in this case, he enforced his boundary. He didn't abandon her. He just kept his boundary. And that was a good thing to do. Especially, because when it said, you know, my daughter, I was like, oh no. Because he has to now.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_00] It's a necessary thing to do to be firm with her. And keep your boundaries up. Because you're protecting your daughter. You're breaking a cycle that she created a long time ago. And I really do hope that she's just not worth connecting with. What does she actually bring you in the end? It doesn't sound like much, if anything. Which, as always, I know is super easy for me to say. I'm not going through it. Abuse does such damage to people. But Comeback says,

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_00] Do you realize, OP, that you just explained how our abuse and manipulation is continuing? This was the abuse cycle you just typed out. And you're still carrying it since it's hurting you so much. She's never once accepted accountability. You can forgive, but you don't have to accept. If she makes you feel bad about your boundaries, that's someone that doesn't need to be let in. She can wave at you from the outside or stomp on by in a tantrum. But stop letting her in. ETA, thanks for all the awards, everyone.

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_00] I had no idea this comment would resonate so much. Sometimes it's hard for people to see the cycle when they're in it. Commodore says, Abusers are masters at making their victim think they are responsible for what the abuser chooses to do. Your mother is still an abuser. Gray replies saying, This is what I want to say. She is still an abuser. OP also said that forgiveness would be one-sided. What is there to forgive? He got out of an abusive situation. He doesn't need to apologize for that or seek forgiveness.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_00] Especially since he was a literal child. As the parent, she is responsible for taking care of you OP. She was supposed to love and protect you as a kid. You got out. The courts obviously agreed that she was not the victim in that situation. The same as she is not the victim in this one. Not the arsehole, but please go no contact. She is a detriment to your mental health. You may think that reconnecting helped, but she is making you feel this way over her abuse still. He has done nothing but hinder.

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_00] And sweet tea says not the arsehole. Your mom absolutely knew what she was doing. She was planning to stay at the house unsupervised from the beginning. She fucked around and found out. And now she's paying the consequences. You did the right thing. I think the only mistake you made was reconnecting with her. Some relationships are left not rebuilt. It's time that you go very low contact with your mom permanently. And once again, I know it's super easy for me to say,

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_00] but I really hope OP does take that advice and just cut contact with this person. She offers nothing but pain to him and potentially his daughter at the same time. The very first paragraph on this was absolutely heart-wrenching. On the court paperwork, under name of child, she wrote something like, I have no son. He was 12 years old. Gee, bloody wish. She's a fucking arsehole. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from Shox. Bloody, get this title. Am I the arsehole for banning a relative from our house right after they donated our furniture while we were away from home? I'm still shaking while typing this. My wife, Paula, and I just got back from a trip. It was our first time away since our twin daughters was born.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_00] We gave my mother-in-law a Kiko, a spare key, just to check on things if necessary. Paula is sentimental. When her grandmother passed away, she left her two hand-carved mahogany pieces, a desk, and a vanity. They were Paula's absolute favorite things. Walked in yesterday, and the room was empty. A Kiko was there, all smiled, saying she made a surprise for us by getting rid of that old dusty junk to give us a modern look. Lol.

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_00] She replaced them with some cheap flat-pack furniture. She literally gave away slash donated Paula's inheritance without asking. I told her to leave and give me the keys. I changed the locks today. Paula has been in tears. Now the rest of the family are calling me an abusive guy and controlling by isolating Paula from her mother, her Kiko, over some old piece of junk wood. They say her Kiko's heart was in the right place, and I'm being an arsehole for banning a grandmother from seeing her grandkid over furniture.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00] My wife is on my side. She agrees with the ban, but the constant guilt from her family is making me feel like a monster. I'm I, D-R-S-O. And it's one of those stories that I just sit there after thinking, why? What went through her Kiko's head at that moment to just literally get rid of everything and replace it and thinking that's a good idea at the same time? And the people that's on her side about this, you just think,

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_00] what is going through their brains? And this is just absolutely report worthy, which the first commenter, the top commenter, Lighthouse on Mars says, you call the police and report the theft. You'll be able to get the furniture back that way. She will have to admit to the police who she donated slash sold the furniture to, and your furniture will be recovered as stolen property. Sensitive says, not the arsehole, find out where she donated it right now. You might be able to get it back.

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00] Threatened to file a police report for theft. I suspect she didn't even donate them. She sold them to pocket cash. She has to have known their worth. OP was in the comments themselves and says after reading all those comments, we're going to the police department because yes, it's theft. All the comments are running in the same direction. Theft. It's my house, my property, my place of peace. Should not be in this situation. I'm so happy my wife also agrees with me. Absolutely good on OP

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_00] and I really do hope that they reported that to police and that they do get their stuff back. It's so wild, isn't it? These people are out there. But what do you guys make of that one? Let us know and let's move straight on to another story. Our next story is titled, Am I the Arsehole for refusing to work things out with my fiance because my life is better now that his daughter isn't around me. I know the title makes me look like an arsehole. I accepted that for full transparency.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_00] I wanted to be completely honest here. Basically, I'd been with my fiancee, Matt, for eight years. He has a daughter, 14 year old, Vivian. I tried so hard to involve Vivian in everything. I enrolled her in all these extracurricular programs and showed up to every single event. I spent thousands on things she wanted slash needed. I brought her out for one-on-one to do girly things like get our hair and nails so they're not even go shopping. One-on-one dinners wherever she wanted to eat.

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00] She literally complained about everything. Every time I brought her out to eat, she complained loudly about the food being trash. Every single time we went and did our hair and nails, she would complain that it turned out bad, complained on Christmas and asked if she had more stuff coming because she only had 16 items under the tree. Literally everything on her wish list and she was grateful but disappointed because she expected more from us. Pie this in with other things, like all my stuff going missing constantly.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_00] My makeup that she had been told not to touch several times became free game for her. My hairbrush that I also told her not to touch was always left on the counter with giant chunks of hair left in it. All her hair products and makeup sit right beside mine in the bathroom and despite her stuff being higher quality, she still uses mine. Literally spaced out whenever I tried talking to her about it. Her eyes would just gloss over and she would stare right through me, nod her head and say, mm-hmm.

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_00] Or tell me why it wasn't a big deal and she was tired of me creating drama with her. My clothing? Yeah, half of that shit is missing and I would catch her wearing them and she would blatantly lie and gaslight me by saying, you literally gave me this and now you're going to flip out. She just had zero respect for me and that was obvious. Her dad did absolutely step in every single time and reprimand her but it never got better. It all came to a head over a damn bowl of tuna. So, my fiance and I have a two-year-old

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_00] and she has been extremely ill. I'm so busy dealing with fussiness all day and seemingly all night long that I simply forget to feed myself. So, three days ago, I get the baby to sleep and go lounge in the living room and start making myself some tuna for crackers around 11 p.m. Vivian comes out and sees me making it. She gets herself a drink and goes back to her room. The baby wakes up so I put my tuna in the fridge. Get the baby back to sleep and when I come out, Vivian is on the couch eating it.

[00:19:21] [SPEAKER_00] It was the last of the tuna and I was starving and really craving it. I didn't eat dinner because I didn't like the meal I made for Vivian and Matt so I snapped a bit. I asked why she would be touching my food when she already ate dinner and she really just rolled her eyes, tossed my bowl on the counter and slammed off to her bedroom. I immediately woke up Matt and told him I was done. Him and his daughter needed to be out of my house by the following day and go stay elsewhere. Anywho, he went to his mom's with Vivian and holy F

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_00] has my house been peaceful since they left. Matt keeps asking if he can come home and talk but I told him I honestly just don't know if I want to work this out because my life has been nothing but peaceful without Vivian here. He keeps saying things like you don't mean that. You love her. You've been around for more than half her life but I really, truly have come to the conclusion that I do not like that girl and I love my life now that she's not a part of it. Am I the arsehole for throwing away eight years and a very loving relationship

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00] over his kid? Now, I suspect there's more going on with Vivian that's within this one post but at the same time, honestly, not the arsehole. I don't blame Opie one bit. It wasn't about the bowler tuner. It's about the years of disrespect, the boundary crossing and Opie's just exhausted with it all and it sounds like Opie tried to show up for Vivian and instead of improvement, it just sounds like her behavior has escalated and now you've been left carrying everything that's going on while caring for a sick toddler

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_00] at the same time and if the situation hasn't changed in eight years, it's, I think it's fair to believe that it's not going to change any other time soon, right? And I don't think choosing peace, especially in this situation, is selfish and more and more I get to the point in life now where, you know, I just won't tolerate bullshit from people. It doesn't matter who they are. I enjoy my peace. But a commenter does say to Opie, I rather suspect Vivian thinks that if you're out of the picture, her parents will get back together.

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00] It's a common trope for young children who don't understand why their parents divorce and unfortunately, as they get older, it becomes entrenched and the poor person who dared marry their parent is always going to be the villain. It splits up many a relationship and there's not a lot you can do about it. All you can do is enjoy your peace and quiet and co-parent your shared child. I might be wildly off base, but I imagine Vivian is practically doing handstands and backflips thinking she's won. She doesn't yet realize her quality of life

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_00] go down. She's been spoiled, which sometimes happened to children of divorce and has had no consequences. All the extra money she's got used to, all those extracurriculars and girly spa and nail days, gone now as dad will have to pay for accommodation and bills with no help from you. Plus child support. She'll be lucky to get a half a dozen gifts next Christmas. Not even that if you were the primary reason sorting them out. Dad will prioritize his daughter. So even if it's a loving relationship between the two of you,

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_00] it's still going to have Vivian in it. Better to let them go their own way and for Vivian to not be around you than live a life where an entitled brat destroys your peace and your home. Turbulent Bat says not the asshole, but the problem isn't Vivian. It's Matt. He's failing as a parent and a partner. Keep your peace and don't take him back. Hope you reply saying I definitely understand why it seems that way and maybe he is failing. I don't know. I really don't want to defend

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_00] when it's not deserved, but I will say that he absolutely stepped in every single time that she disrespected me in his presence and if she did so when he wasn't home, he always confronted her immediately after getting home. He's grounded her, taken things away from her, made her miss school dances and cheer recitals, put her in therapy through both the school and a pediatrician. Had calm talks and sometimes not so calm discussions. So from where I'm standing, it truly did appear that he was doing what he could, but she was just very unaccepting

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_00] of all consequences and responsibility for anything she ever did. He was definitely at his wits end as well and cried often about it. So if he was failing, I truly believe it was unintentional. He did try. He as a person was absolutely phenomenal to me. A Kestrel replies to that saying Um, OP, Vivian is 14, not 4. She knows about personal boundaries, not taking stuff without asking and respecting adult members of her household. She is very obviously

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_00] doing this on purpose to antagonize you. Whether her end goal was breaking you two up or just making you miserable because she's a vindictive teen, it doesn't matter. Her behavior is a deliberate campaign against you and you and your ex will never punish that spite out of her. You should never share a living space with her again and I'd hesitate to ever let her be anywhere near your other child, especially unsupervised. But now, I'm gonna turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_00] of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from BusinessBobcat9888 and it says, am I the arsehole here for cancelling a third date over a peanut allergy? A friend of mine set me up on a date with a co-worker of hers. She said we were perfect for each other. Our first date was at a coffee shop and then we arranged to meet up

[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_00] at a botanical garden the next week. While we were at the botanical garden, she told me about her peanut allergy, which she described as life-threatening. I told her that must be stressful and she said it was. We arranged for a lunch date this week at the end of the date. After that date, I started thinking, I love peanuts and eat them all the time. I put peanut butter in slash on a lot of stuff, including my dog's toys, which she drags all over my apartment,

[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_00] getting invisible peanut oil everywhere, I'm sure. I can't see a potential relationship with this woman ever progressing to a serious stage without me changing my diet and habits. At this point, we've only been on two dates and I think it'd be more respectful of her time to not go on a third. So I called her and told her that I was sorry, but we need to cancel. She asked if I wanted to reschedule and I apologized, but I said, I don't think we would work out long term. She asked why and I was honest. I said,

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_00] I really like peanuts and would be nervous about potentially harming her. She said, there are a lot of safety precautions we could take to keep her safe and I admitted, I know that, but I don't want to do them. She said, wow, and told me I'm immature. I apologized again, but she hung up. She told my friend what happened and my friend is confused by my reasoning. She said, her co-worker said, I'm a massive douche. I don't feel like I am. We only went on two dates. Two dates doesn't imply any commitment.

[00:26:13] [SPEAKER_00] I asked her if she agrees I'm a douche. She said, she's not sure, but my logic is definitely weird. Do you guys agree? Defiant says on the back of this one, you like peanuts more than you like her. That's fine. It could have just as easily been reversed if she didn't like dogs and dropped you because you have a dog and that's fine too. Edit, my son has a life threatening allergy to cashews and pistachios. I pray that any future dates would gracefully bow out if they were not willing or able to remove

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_00] those items from their life. Kissing someone after eating those foods can cause a reaction. You did the right thing, OP. OP replied saying, I liked your example. If someone found out I had a dog and they said they didn't want another date because they didn't like dogs, I'd be grateful. We wouldn't ever be able to live together, so why waste my time? There's a random comment but a funny one below this one. Original Cable says, my dog is literally named Empress Peanut Butter. You're not an asshole. It reminds me of the posh name

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_00] I gave to Poppy. Poppy's posh name is Poppadopoulos III. For the days that she's feeling extra sassy. Sufficient says, two dates isn't a commitment. Certainly not a point where you plan to make major changes to your life to accommodate a serious allergy. Honestly, I think you're being extremely considerate. Hungry says, not the asshole. As someone with severe food allergies, I've had experience with people I dated who didn't want to follow my restrictions

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_00] before I found my husband. It always made me sad because it's not like I chose to be like this but I did prefer to have someone be honest with me about not wanting to adjust their lifestyle than potentially resent me slash endanger me. Spirited says, not the asshole. I think it is very respectful of you to go ahead and end it this early on and not letting it progress. I do think you potentially could be missing out on something great. There's always that potential. But if giving up nuts doesn't fit you and your pet's lifestyle,

[00:28:10] [SPEAKER_00] I'm a peanut butter lover too as is my doggos and I think you are making the right call. Allergies or any allergy for that matter can be so, so serious so it is actually really thoughtful that you don't even want to put her in that situation. Not the asshole. And one more comment who says not the asshole. You don't need a reason to decide not to date someone. But a peanut allergy is a perfectly good one if you eat a lot of peanuts and don't want to give them up and don't want to deal with all the precautions to protect her. I probably would have just told her

[00:28:40] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not feeling the connection. I want to feel in a relationship and feel it's best we both move on. Seems getting specific about why you don't want to date often brings a pretty negative response. So I prefer to keep things neutral. The truth is though that some people don't take rejection well and will get butt hurt no matter what you say. It was an interesting story this one and a sad one in some ways at the same time I found. Especially like one of the commenters who pointed out you know they didn't choose to be like this you know and it's sad for them

[00:29:09] [SPEAKER_00] but also I get what Opie was saying two dates in is exactly the right time when you figure out what the deal breakers are and if you are that compatible. I think Opie was honest he didn't string her along and in the end didn't want to put her in any danger which is actually respectful but I get why she would probably feel hurt at the same time. I totally get it. I think calling Opie immature is just ignoring that the real changes Opie would have to make

[00:29:39] [SPEAKER_00] to his life to accommodate it. Ones that he's not willing to make and ones you know that affects both him and his pet's lives. And again don't get me wrong I do feel for her because like that commenter said again that she didn't choose this so it must sting to hear that you know your peanut allergy is the reason that you potentially lost what might have been great but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_00] your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories you'll love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being here truly it's absolutely amazing and hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one take care and much love