My Sister DESTROYED My Dad's Engagement To An AMAZING Women And I'm So Angry | r/TrueOffMyChest

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark B and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from LogRollingInOn and I'm just coming back in after just reading this story. Just to give you a warning, this is one long story.

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_00] I wouldn't say it's quite resolved as yet, but there's a lot of talk in this one about a family being genuinely messy and human, working through all sorts of feelings. Some of you might find it refreshing, some of you might find it frustratingly unresolved. But I just thought it'd be fair to give you that warning before we do get into that story so you can make your choice to listen or not. Totally up to you. Now we're getting back into it.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00] This story is from, from the true off my chest subreddit and says, I think my sister just ruined our dad's engagement to an amazing woman. And I hate her so much. This story does have a trigger warning of death of loved ones within the story. So if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. It starts.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00] I'm less angry when I'm done.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00] Amy is good people. She's crazy smart and nerdy. She has like three degrees, one in psychology, which explains a lot. And we all play D&D together. She's successful, artistic, athletic, deadpan hilarious. She has an energy like when we're around family and they're all loud and crazy. She talks and people just shut up and listen. Don't know how best to describe that. Like she is wise and kind and patient, but also an absolute sigma bab.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00] She's cool to hang out with. She's cool to hang out with. And she loves our dad. She also sets him straight a lot. We kind of default to her as our neutral third party when there's a disagreement. She's very good at navigating that. She's just really cool. She's also genuinely interested in our lives and hobbies.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00] She has at least one thing with each of us. Seb and her do artsy stuff and they both play tennis. She plays video games with me. She and Lisa read a lot and go book shopping like every few months. The house is filled with books. She's teaching Lisa how to drive. They're both K-pop fans, etc. I honestly think they click more quickly and naturally and vibe the best whenever Lisa allows it.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00] Amy also never stops talking about our mom. She respectfully encourages it. There's a few pictures of our mom around the house still and she's totally okay with that. Like she is not threatened by mom's presence at all. She wants to help Seb make a painting of a photo of the five of us. Dad, mom, Lisa, me and Seb. From our maternal granddad's birthday. Even my mom's family like her.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00] My aunt, mom's sister and have become good friends. She asked them and dad about mom when we mentioned something we all used to do. And we found out a few months ago that she also lost her dad when she was 12. I think that settled a lot of things for Lisa, who I know sometimes uses our mom to try to spite Amy. Though again, Amy would either kill her with kindness or just move on. Dad loves Amy and she makes him happy. Like she is his balance in a way.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00] They go well together. Our dad is awesome, patient, smart, strict but kind. Goofy sometimes. He has his own hangups but he is also slow to anger and always open to discuss anything with us. He doesn't yell at us much but he is supportive and overall has been a great dad. She and dad made it very clear she has absolutely no intention of replacing mom. That she's a person of authority in the household without being a parent. That she's open to whatever relationship we want to have with her.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_00] And it's a two-way street. She's never demanded or pushed for anything other than basic human-to-human respect and kindness. Why Lisa Sucks While we were really doing well and getting along great, Lisa sometimes gets whiplash and randomly regresses to Riley time. Especially after Amy and her spend time together having fun. It's like she's trying to rile Amy up to justify why she thinks dad dating is a bad idea.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00] She snaps at random stuff just to bump heads. Only it's not working very well because Amy is just not bumping. She doesn't engage Lisa when she's like this. She will maybe set a boundary like I will not engage with you when you act like this. And after that is completely uninterested in Lisa's outbursts and lets our dad handle it. It doesn't feel like it's out of spite though. Best I can describe it is, is Amy is living her life.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_00] Legit happy and willingly making offers and openings to all of us. Lisa included. Without making a big deal out of it. When Lisa doesn't participate and slash or says something snarky or downright rude, Amy just shrugs and goes on with her life. If we ask her if she's upset or angry at Lisa for lashing out, she says she understands how Lisa must be feeling. That everyone is allowed a tantrum every once in a while and that she knows Lisa is a good girl and she will come around on her own.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00] And true enough, when Lisa then calms down and apologizes with or without dad's mediation. Again, Amy doesn't make a big deal out of it and they pick up where they left off. For example, we were having dinner and Lisa was arguing with her and dad. And said she didn't want what Amy cooked because it smelled disgusting. And started insulting Amy's country where the dish was from. Even though she usually loves it. Amy just said, suit yourself.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00] Like she could not care less. Served the rest of us and sat down and started eating and talking to Seb and I. Dad took Lisa to talk after they came back. He asked Amy if it would be okay for Lisa to sit and eat with us. Amy said sure and continued chatting. Lisa apologized for her comments without dad prompting her. And Amy just smiled and said thank you. And kept talking to Seb like nothing happened. When the conversation naturally drifted to something related to Lisa. Amy just spoke to her normally.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00] The issue is, the very few times Amy does respond in kind. When she's tired or has had enough. Nothing we say gets to her. Like she stops caring. Like she gets suddenly quiet and throws something back at you. And you just never expect it. Because overwhelmingly, she is the calm and mature one when there's an issue. Seb calls her this. Saba. S-A-B-A. Sneak attack by Amy. Amy. If I could pick one flaw of Amy, that would be it.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00] She's just brutal sometimes when she's had enough. Or something bad happens at work. And it just comes out of left field. She destroys you and doesn't even blink. It is immensely enjoyable to witness when she goes Saba on our behalf. But not so much when we trigger it. To clarify, Amy is like ridiculously patient 99% of the time. And incredibly effective in managing conflict. She also can recognize when she's close to that line. So she either steps away or warns us.

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00] And we usually understand and back off. And then she follows up on her own. And she always says thank you for waiting to talk. If she goes too low when Saba-ing, she always apologizes and makes amends. We're quite good at communicating as a family for the most part. Thanks to her mostly. But once in a while, when we push and Amy goes there. It's not good. It's just snark. Like once I told her. Fuck you mid-fight. Amy just shrugged and said, your father does that enough.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_00] I'll let him know he has your blessing. Seb was yelling about a missed practice. His fault. She yawned mid-sentence and got up. And he was like, where the fuck are you going? And she was like, I'm not interested in a baby throwing a tantrum. It was worse with Lisa. Because Lisa goes personally when she's angry. But when the Saba line is crossed, Amy just doesn't care. Lisa once asked, how does it feel to know you wouldn't be here if our mom was still alive?

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00] Amy thought about it and said, I'll probably be living my best life in the Bahamas with a rich European prince and no brats to bust my balls. So much better. Another time, Amy was having a pregnancy scare and Lisa said something like, you will never have children of your own. And Amy just said, I hope not. I like my bits tight. And so does your dad. It always shocks us when she goes Saba. Because she is usually kind, considerate and patient.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_00] The core four have discussed all of this in therapy. And Lisa acknowledges she's just scared and angry at the idea of Amy replacing mom. Though we all point out just how uninterested Amy is in that role. I personally don't feel like she would ever replace mom. We joke sometimes about calling each other mother slash son. When Lisa acts out that, when Lisa acts out, there are always consequences from dad. Things are discussed in therapy. And for a while, while everything is calm again,

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_00] the therapist suggested we add Amy to our sessions once in a while. But Lisa is not open to that yet. Dad is also bringing up more often whether Lisa should get individual therapy. But she doesn't want to. Legit, Lisa and Amy get along so well when Lisa isn't behaving like this. So, what happened yesterday? Yesterday, the three of us, Seb, I and Lisa, spent time with our grandparents and cousins. Helped them with the snow, then grabbed dinner and came home late.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_00] Dad and Amy were talking about wedding stuff in the kitchen. And we overheard dad discussing adoption very loosely. Like if Amy would ever be up for it. If we wanted to at some point as adults. Lisa immediately lost it. Burst in and started screaming at him about mom. That she hates him. That he is only thinking with his bits. And then turned to Amy, started insulting her, wishing her dead. And said, I will never want a C word like you to be my mom. Amy just calmly said,

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_00] What makes you think I would ever choose you to be my daughter? That one hurt Lisa. Like we could see the physical recoil. Dad took her up to her room and they talked for a long time. There were raised voices. Then Lisa was crying, but couldn't tell what was being said. Amy stayed down talking to us. Clarifying the adoption conversation was entirely hypothetical. We asked her more questions. She was responding slowly and quietly.

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_00] She didn't answer us when we asked about wedding prep or how she was feeling. She was shaking and trying to keep it together. I've never seen her like this. We were quiet for a bit. Then Seb told her what she said was a very low blow. And she smiled sadly and just said, Maybe so. When dad came down, Amy got up in slow motion. Put on a coat, gathered some stuff and was out the door in like two minutes. Dad was almost crying. Trying to get her to stay and talk. It was late, snowing.

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_00] She was whispering, Not tonight. I have to leave, but be there for your sons. I'm sorry. Over and over. And she started crying and she got in her car and left. We sat down with dad. He was a mess. He let us know Lisa will be getting individual therapy on top of family therapy and it was non-negotiable. He asked us if we felt we needed individual therapy as well. Seb said no. I said I'm not sure right now. And we tried to talk a bit about what happened. He asked how we are feeling.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_00] But he was a wreck. And then he started tearing up. So we just hugged him and he cried so hard. He cried so much. I have not seen my dad cry so hard since mum died. He kept telling us it's okay and he didn't want us to worry. But he was just crying and had no words. I just kept saying I'm sorry and Seb was telling him it will be okay and Amy will be back. And we will all work it out. And he kept saying no she won't. Not this time she won't.

[00:13:58] [SPEAKER_00] He then started saying he was sorry and asked if we knew he loved us. And then he asked if he had neglected us. If we felt he didn't love us enough after Amy moved in. If he was a good dad. I wanted to punch Lisa so hard in that moment for making him doubt that for even a second. As if moving on from mum after almost a decade and landing someone he is genuinely happy with and who is a good person is a sin. Amy wasn't in the house today.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_00] Dad has red eyes and he looks like he has aged 10 years. He said good morning. I asked if Amy came home last night. He said no but not to worry and she is safe. He spoke very quietly. Made us breakfast. And when Lisa came down he just gave her a look and turned around. Didn't speak to her. She started crying saying she's sorry. And went to hug him. He stepped back and told her. I don't want to hug you right now. And his voice was just shattered. She lost it and kept crying and apologizing. Kept saying she really likes Amy.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_00] And she wants him to get married and for him to be happy. She said she loves him. And kept asking if he still loves her. And dad said I will always love you as my daughter. But I don't love you as Lisa right now. I think that's the harshest thing he has ever said to any of us. I didn't think he had it in him. And I'm glad he said it. I'm happy Lisa kept crying. She deserves it. We are back with our grandparents. Dad said he's trying to get Amy to come to the house and talk in person. We haven't told our grandparents all the details.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00] Nor do they know the vile shit that Lisa says to Amy. Because I know they will be so disappointed in her. I hate her right now. She's pretending to read in the corner. But she flips a page every like 10 minutes. God I want to yell at her so bad. Like tear her a new one and let her have it. I'm practically vibrating. If she ruins this for dad. For all of us. Like fuck. I hate her so much right now. That's it. I don't feel better. Fuck her.

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_00] And there is an update to this situation as well. But you can clearly get the frustration from OP. In this situation. Clearly loves their dad. Clearly loves Amy deeply. And his family as a whole. And is frustrated with what's going on here. Lisa's clearly going through some stuff that needed therapy. A long time ago. Maybe all the kids did. As always. No excusing the behavior. But I just kind of feel like. Maybe you know. Every time that Lisa hangs around with Amy. And then join her company.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_00] It just feels like a betrayal to their mom's memory etc. And that's why she lashes out after. And ends up self-sabotaging the relationship. And it sounds like she's been doing this for. For the last couple of years. On and off. And now it's got to the point where it's gone above and beyond. In the kitchen was it? When Amy turned around and says. What makes you think I would ever choose you to be my daughter? Ouch. That was absolutely brutal.

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_00] It sounded like Amy had the patience of a saint. Right up until she doesn't. And Lisa stepped over that line. It will be interesting to see if actually does come back to this. I mean. You'd think there have to be talk about big changes. Like Lisa. Insisting Lisa does get. Get therapy of some kind. Before that actually happens. But a commenter said to OP. Oh man OP. That's awful. I'm so sorry. I hope it can be fixed. Have you and Sebastian reached out to Amy?

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_00] Please update if there is one. I'm rooting for you. OP says we're left on delivered. It snowed a lot on Friday. And I honestly don't think she has anywhere to go. Dad says she's safe and they're in contact. But I'm worried. No. I'm so beyond worried. I'm scared. She won't want anything to do with him or us anymore. Another person said here like me and Seb are holding this together. Not true. Amy has been holding this fucked up family together for so long. And now she's gone.

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_00] And none of us know how to feel or act. And I know we're not a fucked up family. But it feels like we collectively just finally broke her. She is the best thing that could have happened to dad. To all of us. And Lisa just fucked it up. I've spent so many years without a mum figure around. Just us and dad. And I want Amy. I want her as a stepmom. Fuck. I want her as a mum. I'm okay with having two mums. I don't feel guilty saying this. Maybe it's because I'm more angry than sad. But I don't care.

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_00] OP then responds to a longer comment. Talking about their relationship with dad, Amy and each other. And says, like, this is what gets me. Because Lisa and Amy get along so much better than me and Seb do. Until these bursts. They are few and far between. They still happen. But the default is them. Just huddled up in a corner. Reading the same book. And talking a lot. Going out a lot. Just hanging out a lot. With aunt as well. And Lisa makes a lot of these plans. We talked about us moving together in therapy for months.

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_00] And Lisa was the first one in favor. Exactly because she said she wants another girl in the house. Seb and I delayed the green light. Because it was kind of a men's den before Amy. And like, Lisa loves Amy. She says it randomly on her own. She admits it in therapy. Is she lying? And replacing mum? Like, it's crazy if she feels this way. We talked about this as a family last year. And Amy was incredibly against replacing mum in any way.

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_00] Her dad died when she was a child. And she was like, If anyone randomly told me I would now have a new dad. I would have laughed at their face. She is so laid back on her approach to us. Like, it's up to us. She says she's next to dad. But not in mum's place. Like, Lisa's class did an unofficial dance last year. And she was sad she wouldn't go shopping with mum. And saying how mum wouldn't be there to see her all dressed up etc. And she said all that to Amy. And Amy comforted her.

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00] Told her she should wear one of mum's necklaces. And three days later, Amy showed her a picture of our mum at a party with our dad when they were young. Then she had found a link to a dress similar to what our mum was wearing. And asked Lisa if she wanted to wear that to the dance. So she could have a little bit of your mum's energy with her. And they went and got it. And Lisa was ecstatic. And like broke down and hugged Amy so hard. We had to leave them for a bit. But for real, Lisa was so incredibly happy and grateful.

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_00] She told us that all on her own. I don't know. I feel like defending us all of a sudden. But we have always been close. The three of us. And unless she's lying to everyone all the time. I have no idea where these fears come from. Obi then answers a question about their mum. And what she was like before her passing. And did Lisa have a great relationship with their mother? Obi says she and mum were okay I guess. I don't remember them having a bad relationship. She was pushing us a lot on extracurriculars. And she was angrier than dad for sure though.

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00] She was the disciplinarian. Dad was more laid back and just played with us. Though us more than Lisa if I'm honest. Amy is spending equal time with me and Seb. And a lot more time with Lisa though. And dad and Lisa also do their own thing every once in a while. So do I. And so does Seb. We do it separately. Lisa has a lot of female support. We live very close to both sets of grandparents. And she has her mum's sister. Dakota. Who Amy is also close to.

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00] And also dad's sister. Our families have grown very close to each other. We all live close by as well. The support network is strong. Thank you. We need some luck. The commenter says to OP. I'm sorry for everyone involved. I'm going to word vomit because I'm eating a sandwich. Sorry in advance. Part of me thinks if Lisa wrote a letter apologizing. Part of me thinks the only way Amy will come back is if Lisa moves out.

[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_00] I wish someone would have tackled and taken Lisa out of the room. Joking lol. I see the toll it takes on the step parent because my partner is a step parent to my son. He tries to put on a brave face as an adult talking to a kid but it's hard. For context I have a very amicable split with my son's dad and everyone can co-parent. It's hard when the world looks at you like you're lesser because you're taking care of some other man or woman's kid. Especially if you don't have bio kids of your own.

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_00] Not having bio kids with your partner hurts. Surprisingly. I have a medical condition. If she has no bio kids of her own. That line Lisa said is as low of a blow as her comment back. It's a big sacrifice and compromise either way. It's probably a conversation that's been had a lot. There is a fear. Is this the next level of disrespect from a kid I can't control that will end things? My son is extremely well behaved which is a miracle because his dad and I were not.

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_00] My son calls my partner dad. He tells him he loves him times infinity. But the fear of them leaving this baggage still lingers because you know it's already amazing of them to take on the responsibility they technically and biologically have no obligation to. I feel for your dad and I feel for Amy. Hope it all works out because what I see is a lot of love and hurt. A time can heal with effort and sincerity. Hope you reply saying so funny story.

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_00] We asked her once if she ever thought about having kids of her own. With dad or anyone else before. And she said she didn't want to give birth to kids. Like there's a fear about that. I don't remember the name. But would be open to adopting if the right man came along. And she said it was because she wasn't interested in passing on her genes. With her morals and ethics and ideas and behaviors and love. And she didn't need to have biological kids to do that. It kind of made me respect her a lot more. Commenter said to AP.

[00:23:33] [SPEAKER_00] Sometimes you just decide enough is enough. Lisa might just have pushed Amy too far. Your sister needed therapy long before this. All by herself. And don't blame this on Riley. She's long gone. This is all on Lisa. If you're serious about getting Amy back. Then you need to make it a group effort with all of you and your dad. And Lisa should be leading it with an apology. And a genuine effort to do better. Commenter says to you Amy is rolling with the punches. But in reality. While she is rolling with the punches.

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_00] She feels every single one of them. And what your sister said broke the camel's back so to speak. This will take time for Amy and your family. I hope you guys come through better than ever. But I also hope Lisa realizes that even though she is a child. That doesn't mean she gets to use Amy as a punching bag. So at some point later. OP does come in with an update. And says I didn't expect there's many responses with my previous post. Nor did I expect that I would be back here.

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_00] But it actually really helped. I didn't have too big of an update yet. But a few things are happening. Not all of them are positive. But I guess at least there was sort of a plan. This is a little rushed. I'm sorry if it isn't formatted well. It was brutal reading so many comments speaking so badly about Lisa. Like I know I said I hated her. And I did in the moment. Still do for a lot of this. But she's my sister. And I do love her as well. So I think seeing so many people angry at her. Made me very angry and defending her.

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_00] Seb as well. But I'm writing this alone. So a few people were telling us to give her some grace. And I really tried. But I was not in any place to even look at her. Seb did talk to her though. I was present. But I didn't want to engage. It was mostly there for him. It went like. We're very angry at you. But you're still our sister. And we love you. And dad too etc. But you have to stop thinking you can do or say whatever. And we're still like you just the same. And we'll always be around.

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_00] She was saying that family is forever. And sticks by everything together. No matter what happens. They don't just up and leave. And then he told her. That's not true. It's actually kind of crazy stupid. To think your family will put up with you. No matter what you do. She was like. You're supposed to stick together against the shit that comes our way. And he got angry at that. And told her. She is the one bringing the shit in the way. And no matter the family relationship. We won't stick together with an intentional shit stirrer. So unless there's something else going on. Right now.

[00:25:59] [SPEAKER_00] She is the one in the wrong. So either fess up. Or fix yourself. I brought up an aunt we have. Dad's first cousin. Who is not part of the family anymore. Because she was a major gossip. And she lied all the time. And nobody likes her. Nobody invites her around. Her siblings don't talk to her. Don't have her over. Because sure. They are family. But she is always bringing shit. And drama into our lives. So she was pushed aside. And we were like. Don't be the rude person. We have to push aside. But if there's something going on with Amy. That we don't know.

[00:26:29] [SPEAKER_00] You have to tell us. She was saying. There isn't anything. That would make sense right now. We kind of discussed Sabah. And the core four. And truly. We didn't see some of your point. On Amy being offensive. Or a creep. Because a lot of people called us out. Me and Seb. On also being horrible to her as well. Fueling the fire. And well. That was a slap. We kind of shut up about it. Because. It was like. Sure. Being told your dad fucks me. Is fucked up. But. But you were all like. We should have never said.

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_00] Fuck you to her in the first place. And then we. Me. Seb. And Lisa. Realized. We have each said it. At least twice. So she has heard it. Six times at least. And she kept talking to us. About it. And we kept using it. Until that reply of hers. And well. It worked. Because we haven't said it again. So yeah. Sad that we sort of have that knowledge. Slash image in our heads now. But. Also sad that it had to come to the internet. Strangers. For us to realize it worked. It was really humbling for me and Seb. To realize. Sure. This time. Lisa.

[00:27:27] [SPEAKER_00] Was the one that crossed the line. And usually it is her. That destroys the boundaries. But the two of us. Haven't been great at her either. Lisa. Admit. I cried a lot. Reading some of the comments. Like hard crime. Because you were very real. On how shitty I've been to Amy. Not just Lisa. Like I didn't realize it. I think it was just. How we sometimes fight with dad. And cousins. And it hadn't registered. That must have been for Amy. Who was always in a mediator. Slash peacekeeping position. We went to family therapy on Tuesday. And found out a few things.

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_00] About dad and Amy. Had actually known each other. A few months before they started dating. So they met close to four years ago. Via common friends. That situation with Riley. Was discussed at some point. And he liked Amy's perspective. And approach. So they started hanging out. And then six months after. They started dating. They'd been going to therapy together. Right before she was introduced to us. Every Thursday with her. Every Tuesday with us. It was Amy's suggestion. To help her navigate meeting us. We then talked about. What the next steps are.

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_00] But first. What happened was. Dad told Lisa again. That he does love her. And he wants to understand and help. But he won't always like her. And she has to understand this. And us too. That he will always love us. Because he is our dad. Not out of obligation. But because. That is where the source of his love stems from. But sometimes as a human to human. He doesn't always like us. For how we're behaving. He was sad he had said that to her. But if I'm honest. I think he deserved to say it. And she deserved to hear it. We told him we loved him too.

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_00] And Amy as well. And we're sorry. Me and Seb admitted. That we have been pretty bad towards Amy. We kind of worked on this. Lisa said she wasn't ready to talk about what happened. And she wanted to talk to her own therapist first. And her first is tomorrow. Which really pissed me off. We've been in therapy as a family for four years. But now. She will talk after she gets her own therapist. Like. What the fuck have we been doing here all this time? Anyway. We talked more about Amy and Dad's relationship. And me and Seb's relationship.

[00:29:27] [SPEAKER_00] And we concluded. That we're kicking back hard still. Because with Riley. She was so horrible. We didn't feel like it would make a difference. If we were arguing with her. Because she was just bad. And we would fight all the time. And there was no point. Because she would just scream back. And it led nowhere. With Amy. It was kind of working backwards. In a we feel safer being worse with her. Because she actually cares situation. Like she's acting more like a mother figure than her. She talks it out with us. And even when she pushes the issue to dad.

[00:29:56] [SPEAKER_00] We still have some kind of normal parent slash kid arguing. Before it gets to that point. Which is why Sabah's were just so unexpected. And just shut everything down. Because Riley would say stuff like that all the time. And we didn't realize just how triggering some of the stuff we were saying to Amy was. Because Riley was always saying that stuff. So I'm not exactly sure what that means yet. Still processing it. But we apologize to dad for also being problematic. Not just Lisa.

[00:30:25] [SPEAKER_00] Lisa is just more explosive. And she did apologize as well. We talked about next steps right now. Which is a bit complicated. Dad and Amy are both on the lease for the house. But not only is she paying more than him. Like 60-40. But our landlords are close to Amy. So if it came to it. Which dad assured us they had not broken up yet. We'd be the ones that had to move. I know my dad isn't poor. He's a senior SWE in big tech. A software engineer. But Amy works in finance.

[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_00] And is on some non-profits. And has like global income. So she apparently covers more of the expenses. Which includes all of our hobbies etc. She doesn't want to come home right now. She discussed with her work to go on a business trip for two weeks. Or if that doesn't pan out. She will go to a home country. Just to give everyone some space etc. Dad said that scared him. Too much distance for too long. And he offered to pay for an Airbnb close by. But he said. She said we all need space to recalibrate.

[00:31:24] [SPEAKER_00] And that he should focus on us. Without worrying about bumping into her at the grocery store. Dad and Amy are in low contact but are talking. Which he said is good. And a good thing to take some time and space. And I could tell this was a bit bullshit. Because he looked broken when saying that. I think he thinks it's over. And he is losing hope. And is scared. She will realize she doesn't have to live with how we've been treating her. Like you all said. He said she isn't someone that takes disrespect lightly.

[00:31:53] [SPEAKER_00] Which I told him she is the absolute queen of dealing with disrespect. Given how she's been so patient. And kind and careful with us. And he seemed to agree. But I think there's something else going on there. But he wouldn't say. Anyway. She will travel for a bit. She did tell him to tell us she loves us. And she is sorry she is leaving like this. She isn't checking messages at this time. And they will meet on the 26th to discuss. They had a romantic weekend planned for a long weekend. And we could stay at our grandparents.

[00:32:21] [SPEAKER_00] And Amy moved the reservation to dad. So we're taking Friday off. And the core four will go to her cabin. And just chill a bit away from the house. Lisa is sleeping today and tomorrow at her best friend's house. Her suggestion. And I'm also sleeping tomorrow at my cousin's. And we leave Friday morning and pack Monday night. That's all that's happened for now. I don't know what to expect at this time. But I'm just happy that Lisa will be doing individual therapy. And that we are at least talking to each other a bit.

[00:32:50] [SPEAKER_00] And a couple of the top comments on this one says. Seems to me that although your sister dealt with the worst of it. You and your brother haven't been angels towards Amy either. Reflection on your behaviors is a step in the right direction. And I think a sincere apology for your own actions is in order too. Just because you see Amy as a safe person to let loose your emotions on. Doesn't make it right for you to use her as your emotional punching bag. Another commenter says. Whether or not Amy decides to leave for good.

[00:33:16] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe this event will be the catalyst slash learning experience you need to look at yourselves and grow emotionally. Better to start learning about emotional intelligence now than later in life. And after more potential heartbreak. As lame as it sounds. Learning how to manage emotions so you don't yell. And where you can instead effectively communicate without being demeaning and condescending is part of maturity. It's an invaluable skill. Good luck to you and your siblings. I'm rooting for a positive update. And another commenter says.

[00:33:46] [SPEAKER_00] So you guys were being absolutely terrible to a woman who subsidized your life by paying more rent and for your extracurriculars. Honestly, I'm on her team at this point. Your dad didn't work on any of you and your behavior. There seems to have been no consequences prior to this for all your nastiness. I'm glad she's left. I always find like in longer stories like this the self-reflection really interesting.

[00:34:10] [SPEAKER_00] You know, the update talking about how, you know, OP and brother haven't been ideal in this situation either. I think there was a comment that was about six fuck you's minimum they said to her or something. Don't get me wrong. I know teenagers say and do shitty things. But the benefiting from her paying for a lot and their hobbies as well. Or she was getting this verbal abuse at the same time was pretty rough. And just continuing on with the self-reflection as well.

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_00] And again, OP 16. I'm not excusing any shitty behavior towards Amy. But the comment about we felt safe being worse with her because she actually cares. You know, I thought personally was pretty mature for a 16 year old to arrive at. I know myself as a 16 year old. I was a little knobhead. Yeah, I know. I'm not a great example to be fair.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_00] But I personally thought, you know, recognizing Amy that became sort of like a safe emotional dumping ground if you like. Because she wasn't going anywhere. Whereas the previous partner Riley who would scream back. So fighting with her felt pointless. And Amy was actually listening and trying to repair. So fighting with her almost felt like consequence free. Until suddenly it wasn't. There was some of the comments about the whole sobering thing. When she gets tipped over the edge and says stuff. You know, the sexual comments.

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_00] And I know there was some back and forth about that. But you know, they did feel off to me. And I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But I also get that she was completely at the end of her tether at the same time. Because it does sound like she tried really hard. Or was trying really hard. You know, a couple of Sarah people with their dad. Before she was even introduced to the kids. It sort of said everything about who she is. She came into the situation. Having done her homework. She wasn't just winging it. She was really trying.

[00:36:01] [SPEAKER_00] To bug her it kind of left us on a bit of a cliffhanger there. Amy didn't say it's over. She said she needed space. She sent love. And to me those aren't actions of someone who says they're done. She just wants to take some time to reflect for herself. Whether she's going to stay away and think, Bloody hell, do I want to go back into that drama? Is something else right? I think for that to happen there would have to be real, real big changes back home. But what do you guys make of this one? Bloody hell, just in the time on the recording.

[00:36:30] [SPEAKER_00] This one went on for a while, didn't it? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.

[00:36:50] Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.