My Nieces Are DEVASTATED I Revealed Santa Isn't Real And Sis Is Furious r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from GFJQ23 and it says, Me, 32 female, posted on Facebook about Santa Claus not being real.

[00:00:27] My niece, 13 female, is a Facebook friend and is now devastated. Sister, 36 female, is furious with me. I can't believe I even need to post this but here we go. I posted the Ryan Reynolds Deadpool meme where he tells kids about sex and says how Santa isn't real. My niece who just turned 13 has a Facebook account that is about a week old. I honestly forgot I even had her as a friend.

[00:00:53] My sister called me furious. Apparently she had to come clean to both my nieces. The other one is 11 and now they are so upset that they couldn't go to school today. I told her I thought she had told them years ago about Santa not being real, but I still felt bad and apologized. She says that isn't good enough and I need to publicly say how Santa is real and provide proof to my nieces how I believe Santa is real. I refuse. I think they are far too old to be believing in Santa still.

[00:01:22] My mother and father sided with my sister saying I shouldn't ruin my niece's Christmas. For fuck's sake it is March and take away their childhood prematurely. I feel like I'm in crazy town. I just sent an email saying I'm sorry the incident happened and that my nieces are hurting, but that I'm not going to pretend Santa exists because I feel like it is an unreasonable request. My parents have said that they are disappointed with me. My sister said until I agree to lie about Santa, she's going to go no contact.

[00:01:51] Am I wrong that 13 and 11 is a fine age to stop believing in Santa? I get that they're all upset, but isn't this an inevitable part of growing up? Usually my family is reasonable, so I'm a bit shocked about this all honestly. My sister and her family aren't even Christian. Yes, I know Santa isn't a Christian thing, but Christmas is a Christian holiday. We never really made a big deal of Christmas beyond eating good food and opening a few gifts.

[00:02:19] I was kind of thinking through this, you know, this 13 year old is on social media, Facebook apparently. Have they not found out about this already? The internet's a wild place, you see some shit on there. Not that I'm saying it's right, but... And in school as well, you know, they mention that Santa's real to some other kid in school. Someone's going to give them an awakening, I think. But Lonnie Lee says your sister is having difficulty with her daughters growing up.

[00:02:42] If the kids really still believed in Santa, then she's been keeping them ignorant and innocent to a degree that borders on abusive. The girls know the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy aren't real either. Your parents are enabling your sister's weirdness. I guess you could post that, yes, Virginia, there is Santa Claus letter, but I surely wouldn't do anything more than that. Your sister should be more worried about 13 year old finding a baby in the cabbage patch than leaving milk and cookies for a man in a red suit.

[00:03:11] OP says the weird thing is my sister is very sex positive parent. My nieces know all about sex, birth control and stuff like that. So sex is okay when they're ready for it. But Santa Claus not being real is a horrible thing. OP then edit the post and said, So my niece sent me a text from school asking why her mum was mad at me. I said it was over the whole Santa thing and she said, That's stupid. Who still believes in Santa?

[00:03:38] So yeah, I called my sister out on this whole BS situation and for making up lies to try and make me feel bad. She called my parents crying. So my parents told me the standard line of me being the bigger person and patch things up. Not this time. I told them to quit sticking their noses into arguments that has nothing to do with them. But honestly, I'm so pissed they can all fuck off for a while. I'm not responding to anyone unless I get an apology. Edit 2. Crazy town.

[00:04:07] So this looks like a series of texts between the sister and OP or a conversation. The sister said, I can't believe you responded to niece after I told you not to talk to her. It's disrespectful to me. OP said, You mean you're just upset you got caught in a lie? She said it wasn't a lie. It was a justified exaggeration to prove a point. OP says, What fucking point? Sister says that your words and actions on Facebook have consequences. OP responds saying, Let me get this straight.

[00:04:35] You won't let me talk to nieces because I posted a meme about Santa not existing, even though they don't believe in Santa anymore. Sister says, What if they were younger? OP says, They aren't. What the fuck kind of logic is that? Sister says, I can't talk to you when you're being unreasonable and refuse to see the point. OP says, Okay, good luck with that. When you're ready to apologize, you can send me a message. Sister says, What the fuck do I have to apologize for? I don't even know why you're upset when I'm the only one with the right to be upset here.

[00:05:05] OP says, Figure it out. Then OP adds, Edit 3 and says, You know, This isn't normal behavior for my sister. I reached out to my brother-in-law and he says he's been concerned the past few days. It's been like a switch was flipped and she started acting nuts. He's going to make her an appointment with their doctor. It might just be stress. It never hurts to check it out. And I think a lot of people must have asked that question about, Is this normal behavior for sister? Because it's a good one.

[00:05:32] Because to suddenly switch up like that is concerning. So it's good for OP to reach out to brother-in-law and talk about this. But OP did come in with her update and says, To summarize the last post, I posted a Ryan Reynolds meme about Santa Claus not being real on Facebook, which my 13-year-old niece saw. My sister flipped out about it and wanted me to publicly rescind and say how Santa is real. But I thought my nieces were too old to believe in that stuff and refused. It led to a crazy fight between us.

[00:05:59] Anyway, I talked to my nieces and neither of them believe in Santa. So they were baffled about the fight. I talked to my brother-in-law and he said my sister had been flying off the handle lately. We agreed she should probably get a checkup and he convinced her to go to the doctor. Onto the update. They did an MRI and nothing showed up. They did some blood work, which looked fine, except some elevated cholesterol. She isn't pregnant.

[00:06:24] They pretty much wrote her off as a crazy person and sent her to a psychologist for stress. After a session, the psychologist told her to do some deep breathing and sent her away as fixed. She got worse. She stopped sleeping and barely ate, yet still gained weight. Any small annoyance would send her into a rage. Commercials were making her so upset she would ugly cry. I asked my brother-in-law if they tested hormone levels or anything like that and he said the doctors didn't feel it was necessary.

[00:06:54] She called me one day crying and apologizing, saying she was the worst sister ever and had every right to hate her. She was so devastated she ruined our relationship and such. It was weird and not my sister. So when I got a chance to speak, I told her she was going to see my doctor and I wasn't taking no for an answer. I set up an appointment. My doctor ordered a full blood panel including hormone and vitamins before my sister drove to town for her appointment.

[00:07:21] When my sister drove up, we spent the morning shopping and she was unpredictable. One minute she was happy and the next yelling about some perceived sight. That fucking pretentious makeup counter bitch just looked at me funny for my cheap drugstore makeup. It was uncomfortable. So I just walked on eggshells to keep her from exploding. Anyway, results of the blood work and a good doctor. Perry Menopause. Her hormones are completely abnormal. None of her doctors would even consider it because she was too young for menopause.

[00:07:50] So they didn't even bother running the tests. She'll be coming up with a care plan with my doctor for hormone replacement therapy and diet change to hopefully get back on track. She's still a nutcase right now. For example, she called me crying the other night because she would never have more kids. What? Her husband had a vasectomy years ago. I'm driving to her place next weekend and we're going to batch cook a bunch of meals for a new diet plan. I'll be doing it with her as I could stand to eat healthier. So it'll be a slow process.

[00:08:19] But we have a diagnosis and plan. I've just taken her outbursts as crazy hormones right now because it'll take a while to even out. I got her a dark chocolate cake for Easter that said, Happy reverse Easter. When the Easter bunny takes back your eggs. Because I'm a kind of jerk. She thought it was hilarious though. So we're good. Edits. Remove the comment about being bipolar. Though my sister has professionally diagnosed bipolarism and does have wildly swinging moods within minutes sometimes.

[00:08:47] Though usually a manic high or low last weeks. It wasn't my intention to slur a group of people. My sister was acting very much like my sister-in-law can act sometimes. So it was the best reference I could make. I apologize for offending anybody. Shakate says, I got her a dark chocolate and quoted that section and says, This is the best thing ever. So glad you figured it out. Good for you for realizing she was totally out of whack and helping her get back on track. Good luck. Opie says, Well like I said, It wasn't abnormal for teenage sister.

[00:09:17] She was a huge drama queen back then. It was abnormal for 36 year old sister. I guess she's just sensitive to hormone fluctuations. And I'm so glad that brother-in-law and sister did realize, Something was going on and took steps to correct it. Really pissed me off that it got minimized the first time around. Because that's absolutely frustrating. You sound like an amazing person Opie. Keep being amazing for your sister. But look after yourself at the same time of course.

[00:09:45] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. And our next story comes from One Time Advice Request and says, I, male 27, found a video of my girlfriend, female 26, and I'm struggling with it. How do I approach this? Just a warning before we do get into this story, if you do want to skip it for any reason, it contains verbal and emotional abuse and assault as well.

[00:10:14] It starts, English is not my primary language, so apologies if the spelling or grammar are off. This account is a throwaway for privacy and names are not real. I've been in a relationship with Kat, female 26, for a little over two years. Extremely satisfied with the relationship. She is just what I didn't know I needed. Small arguments here and there, but the kind that gets sorted with a talk or two hours after once we cool down a bit. She really liked the photo montage I did of our vacation,

[00:10:43] so I was thinking on doing one from since she was born, until the first photo we will take when she moves in with me in February, when her lease will end. From that, I needed old photos of her, so I asked her saying it was for a project. She gave me an external hard drive, said the folder marked, memories, would be filled with all her photos, but they would be out of order, and there would be photos with her ex-boyfriend from a summer trip they did overseas that she kept for the memories of the trip itself. Yesterday, I sat down to start checking the photos.

[00:11:12] There are a lot of them, and they're all out of a specific order, so I was just picking at random. As I was scrolling down, I saw a folder in the middle of the images. Weird name. It had a few brackets and random numbers with letters, but showed it had content in it. I opened it. Two images and one video. The images were a screenshot of some shoes on a shopping app, and a selfie with a thumb covering the half of the lens. Then I get the photo. Short. Short. 53 seconds.

[00:11:42] First 7 or 8 seconds is someone fumbling with what I expect to be a phone. Then the camera moves down, and it is Kat's back. Naked. With the movements and sounds, it is obvious that it is her having sex with someone. To be clear, this is not proof of cheating. She's had a back tattoo to which she's been adding through the years. On the video, it is less complete than when I met her, and her hair is very short.

[00:12:08] Checking my other photos, I would say she was either 18 or 19 years old at the time. Now, we both know that neither of us was a virgin when we met. Still, it's a bit unsettling to me to get that knowledge imprinted on my brain with visual aids. Of course, she's not doing anything wrong, but there are three things running wild on my mind. First, she was wearing what I can only describe as crotchless panties with a bunny tail to the side.

[00:12:34] At one point, I could see what it looked like a small whip, with similar to what the jockeys use. She never showed any inclination for this kind of thing with me. But what is really bothering me is that, at one point, I can see her right wrist has a handcuff, the kind with fluffy pink hair around, with the other handcuff open at the side. This is bothering me, because she absolutely hates to be held in any way by a wrist. First time I did it during sex, she literally tense and froze on the spot,

[00:13:03] to the point I stopped what I was doing to check on her. She told me to never do it again. I actually told her to give me a safe word that night, so that if I ever did anything that she wasn't comfortable, just say the word and I stop. Fortunately, never had to use it to this day. Now my mind is trying to make sense of it, and I'm getting concerned that she doesn't trust me for some reason. At least not to the point she seems to have trusted this guy. Second, the existence of the video itself.

[00:13:32] She loves taking photos, but nothing overly sexual. Just some sexy outfits, but even those aren't what I would call too much skin. She is actually pretty flirty and sometimes inappropriate when texting or speaking over the phone, but she told me once to forget any nudes or videos. She won't send them nor let me take them. Really don't mind. I'd rather see everything live. And now I see a video. Third, and what is bothering me the most. I'm almost 100% sure the guy is a friend of hers.

[00:14:02] Mark, male, 26. At the end of the video, when he goes to shut the recording, he pointed the camera to his wrist. There is a tattoo that is the same as Mark's. I highly doubt she met two guys with the same tattoo in the same place. And they've been friends since first year of college, so it matches the time frame.

[00:14:48] This is not someone that I'm going to say, but with someone that she sees with some regularity, I would expect a heads up of some sort. Specifically because it seems more than just a casual thing. Looking at all the setup. This is driving me mad. My actual brain knows she has done nothing wrong and that I'm probably overreacting, but my body stress response right now is through the roof. I know that I need to speak to her tomorrow. Before I let this pen up more. Already had a bad night's sleep.

[00:15:16] Tonight I didn't expect it to be better and I'm concerned that having this conversation without a clear mind actually causes issues that I really don't want to have. And honestly, I'm a bit scared to go deeper into this rabbit hole. Jesus, what a rant this has become. Sorry for the wall of text. Seems I had more to vent than I thought. How do I approach this conversation tomorrow? Edit. Now, maybe my English isn't as good as I hope because I honestly do not understand the amount of people with the idea that I want to do BDSM with my girlfriend

[00:15:44] and that I'm salty about she's doing it with someone else. Never did. There's not something I can see enjoying, so I would only do it to an extent if I was asked. My issue is, if she's interested in this, why doesn't she approach the subject in a two-year relationship? And it doesn't help the matter that this doesn't seem to be an ex but one of her friends. Which it either is, in fact, an ex and she hid that from me when we talked about past relationships in the beginning of her own or had a friends with benefits situation or whatever else happened there.

[00:16:13] It's the not having contacts in a video that is causing my mind spinning and that is why I need to speak with her before the damn bursts and that is why I reached out for advice to at least not making this shit worse than it already is. And no, I didn't go through her phone to get pictures. I asked for pictures. She gave an external hard drive and told me in which folder to get them. The hard drive had other folders. I didn't open them. The video was inside a strangely named folder inside the memories folder. I'm talking to her tonight.

[00:16:43] After she comes back from work, she already knows something is not right. I couldn't sleep yesterday and she came back to see why I wasn't in bed that late. This morning, she checked on me. You're not yourself the last two days. Is there something going on? I just told her that I'm feeling stressed without an apparent reason and not to worry. No point in a conversation before she leaves for work. Can't say that I update this today after we talk as I don't think I have the mind for that but I guess I'll eventually say something. For now, I'm going offline.

[00:17:11] And it definitely sounds like just a mature, albeit, you know, pretty awkward conversation is needed in this situation. For me in this, it doesn't feel like she's out to hurt you or do anything of the sort that she's handed over an external hard drive. It just sounds like she may have forgotten about that folder being in there. Especially if she's just, you know, they're all out of order. She's just dumping photos. Probably, you know, when she's finished with her phone, she probably just gets all the photos, chucks it in a folder. I mean, that's what I do.

[00:17:41] I got thousands of photos from past phones and I don't know what the hell is on them. I have to go through them one day. It could be a good laugh. And we covered a bit of a similar story but it was the opposite way around. It was the wife or girlfriend who found photos on her partner's phone and he done something similar about and just had loads of photos on his phone and just like, you know, totally forgot about it. And when she discovered them, she was pretty distraught as well. But the top comment on this one says that it's normal for it to feel bad finding evidence

[00:18:09] of your partner's sex life before you. Even if they didn't do anything wrong. Even if you knew it had happened. Nobody wants to actually see that or think about it any more than necessary. Don't beat yourself up about feeling bad about it. Only she can tell you why she did those things with him but not with you. But from the little explanation you gave, I'd say it's most likely A, either she tried it with him and hated it or had a terrible experience and never want to do it again. Or B, she never wanted to try it but convinced herself

[00:18:38] or had someone convince her she had to do it for him. But she didn't want to or had a bad experience. Either way, it's much more likely that she actually trusts you not to push her boundaries and less likely that she doesn't trust you enough to let you grab her wrists. The worst thing you can do now is overthink this. She gave you the drive. You stumbled across a video. Shit happens. You should be able to talk to her about this. You can ask who the guy is. You can ask about the king stuff. You can ask. She should be able to have a mature,

[00:19:08] if extremely awkward, yep, conversation about it depending on the situation with point two. She may not want to answer all the questions but you should be able to have enough of a conversation to quiet your concerns a bit. Honestly, I've had super uncomfortable conversations with my partners about things I've heard, seen or thought that made me insecure. They suck. They're awkward but they're important. Whether or not she can have a conversation with you about that is way more important than the actual circumstances of the video.

[00:19:37] Bonus point four. People change as they get older and that includes taste and sex. Not everyone who wears ripped skinny jeans at 18 will want to wear them at 26. It is normal for people to experiment with things or even enjoy things when they're younger that they want nothing to do with as they get older. The most likely reality is that it has nothing at all to do with you. Good luck. Keep your chin up. Remember, she doesn't have to be with you and if she's regularly banging you it's because she wants to. Don't get it in your head.

[00:20:06] The OP came in with her update and said, some people have asked for an update so I guess this will be it. I'd like to thank all the people that gave actual advice on what I asked on my post instead of judging me for whatever reason they found worthy of judgment. The advice of listening to her instead of turning the conversation into interrogation that was pointed to me by several people prevented me to actually complicate our talk for those that just want an outcome. After our talk I feel like I got what I needed to gain a solid foot in and we're still together. I'm not going to pretend that it's all roses and sunshine.

[00:20:35] There is some trust that needs to be rebuilt and I still need to process the image of the video. It's still fresh so my brain keeps pushing it forward but I feel that I just need some time to let my brain shake it off. The original post was long. This update might be as well. She read this before I posted so all I've written was with her consent. Got a call from an old friend of mine to check up on me because my girlfriend had called in worried about my behavior over the last two days. When I said it was something that I would need to talk to her he said, that's fine

[00:21:05] just remember that Kat is not Mary an ex of mine. Don't bring that baggage with you. If you have an issue talk it out but don't put on your girlfriend someone else's blame. It was like a light switch that flipped. I'd been so freaked out that I didn't even realize that a lot of what I was feeling was past trauma that was being brought up front and boosting my reactions. Basically afraid of going through something similar again. When she got home she was already wanting to speak with me. I told her that if she wanted to take a shower

[00:21:34] I would make some tea and we would talk. I told her that I loved her. I wasn't accusing her of anything or mad at her. I was going through something and she was the only one I could speak that could help me move past it. That I needed her to be honest and not try to hide things from me. When she agreed I just asked. When you gave me the external hard drive for me to get those photos were you aware that there is a video of you and someone that I think is Mark having sex? That's not possible. I deleted that years ago. That is what she said

[00:22:02] before breaking down in tears. She hugged me and I hugged back by instinct mostly. In between the sobbing and crying she begged me to not get mad and let her explain. I repeated that I wasn't mad. I would hear what she wanted to say. She just needed to be honest with me. Once she calmed down she told me that it happened around three weeks after her 19th birthday. She'd broken up with her high school boyfriend about two months prior. They were both pretty drunk hanging out at her apartment living room after a night out and then things just escalated into physical.

[00:22:33] She said the next morning they both felt extremely self-conscious about the whole thing. Mark was really freaked out that she might think he had taken advantage of her because she had a recent breakup. She was concerned that Mark had feelings for her because she only saw him as a friend. They ended up agreeing that it was just a drunken hookup that none of them wanted to follow up on. At one point Mark asked her if she remembered making a video. They checked both their phones and there was a video and photo on her phone that she deleted then. She never saw them again and believed them

[00:23:02] to be gone. According to her they avoided each other for the next couple of months because of the awkwardness and nothing else happened. I'd been watching her while she spoke. She kept eye contact while speaking. Seemed tense but nothing unexpected. All in all I saw no reason not to believe her. The handcuffs and all joke birthday gift from her girlfriends. I just happened to be there when they went to the room and they thought it would be fun to open the set. We only talked about this yesterday. At the time I had more pressing questions.

[00:23:31] As for not telling me in the first place when she started dating her ex Mark was out of the country so she never mentioned that happening to her ex. When Mark came back her ex was already showing signs of being jealous and controlling without much reason so she decided to not throw gasoline into the fire. Mark started dating a girl and mentioned that they had been together once a long time ago because she asked. His girlfriend told her ex-boyfriend in the middle of a group outing. Her ex exploded. She ended up breaking up with him. Things went a bit out of control

[00:24:01] to the verge of harassment slash stalking. Mark's relationship imploded sometime later because the girl saw Kat breaking up with her ex as proof that she has feelings for you and became a bit crazy. She never told me because in the beginning she wasn't sure how I'd react and was afraid I went her ex's path. And by the time she figured out I wouldn't go that path it had been so long that she just let it go. She apologized admitted that was a bad call on her part and should have told me and let me decide how comfortable

[00:24:30] I was with it. When she spoke about her ex being abusive I gently asked if he was the reason for her issue with being held by the wrist. He wasn't. He was verbally and psychologically abusive but was never physical. It was someone else after she broke up with her ex someone that belonged to her friend's group. Apparently had a secret crush on her was drunk at a party. They're alone in a small balcony and she friendzoned him when he proposed. He got close she placed her hands on his chest to try and stop him and he held her by the wrist and pinned her

[00:25:00] against the wall. One of her friends saw it through the window and helped. The guy was cut off by the friend's group and the last time she knew he left to work somewhere else. Still she was aware that if they were alone it might have been a lot worse and when I did it to her it was just a response to the memory. Also this actually explained some behaviors of hers when we started dating. She looked like she needed time to make sure she was comfortable to be alone with me. Now I know why. After this I was drained. Well I guess anyone that actually read this file

[00:25:29] will be as well. I went silent for a good while just replaying everything. She came to me held my hands and apologized again. She said she couldn't make what I saw disappear but it was really in the past and she just needed me to tell her what else she could do to make things easier for me. Honestly at that point my brain was shot. Then she did something that caught me completely off guard. She called Mark on the phone placed him on loudspeaker while motioning me to be quiet and asked him if he could speak or was close to his girlfriend. His reply was

[00:25:59] that's an odd thing to ask. I'm alone. Is something wrong? She told him that I'd seen the video. Basically the entirety of the conversation confirmed everything she told me. I didn't say anything so he didn't know I was listening. After freaking out with I saw you delete that shit. He referred to it as a one time meaningless thing and a drunk hook up that keeps coming back to haunt us. Was also worried I would tell his girlfriend like my crazy ex. So after all this she asked me if I needed space

[00:26:28] but I told her I wanted her near. If she didn't want to be with me in bed I could sleep in my study but she wanted to be close as well. We spent yesterday together. Didn't go to the party as it was planned. Talked and just kept each other close. She and Mark will take a break on their friendship. He told his girlfriend but she took it better than me but they decided some distance is better at this point. My girlfriend also offered to only go out with a group with me present regardless of Mark being there or not. Other than that I just asked her to give me some time

[00:26:58] and try not to initiate sex for now. I want to be completely clear minded and release this stress that built up before that. This is it. It's gonna take some time but I feel like I have the ground under my feet so I'm optimistic. I think that now after talking it out I just need a bit of time to let it settle. The top comment on this one says if it keeps coming back to haunt them they should break off their friendship for good instead of taking breaks. And there was a mix of comments below this one. Some people saying

[00:27:28] glad that they was able to work it out. Others saying you know it wasn't his business to be going through that folder in the first place. He was looking for photos. Why'd he open the video etc. Other people saying you know her sexual history is just none of his business. And other people saying about you know her history that she's not to blame for any of this. So why does he need all this time when you know she's done nothing wrong. This is just a history. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know

[00:27:57] your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.