My Girlfriend Is SECRETLY Visiting My Abusive Parents With Our Child! | r/BestOf

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00] Now, today's first story has multiple updates from 2025 and also a new update as well. So if you've heard the story in other places, always feel free to use the timestamps in the description and along the timeline below to skip certain parts of it. Totally up to you. The long post is from Hells Health from the Relationship Advice subreddit. It says,

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00] I don't recognize the shoes, though mainly was concerned about them even having a kid over. My girlfriend and I both work. She's only part time, but we always have someone to watch our child. Either my sister or my girlfriend's family, so it's not like she had to bring them there to have someone to watch him. This was a deliberate decision that she should have made with me. I talked to my son about it, and turns out he's been there several times unsupervised, alone with my father. Apparently nothing happened, but I was unnoticed.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00] I was understandably angry and confronted my girlfriend as soon as she was back home, which of course led to a huge fight. She left crying and went to her parents' house, and later her mother came to pick up my son, which I refused, which led to a fight with her mum too. My girlfriend texted me, asking to talk later today, and I know I can't keep my son from her. I also don't want to, but I don't want to go into our conversation unprepared, so any advice is welcome.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00] I also feel betrayed and still very angry, and I'm honestly ready to break up over this. But my son is very upset and anxious because he heard our fight, and I'm just at a complete loss, and I don't know how to handle this. The first commenter says,

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says, Opie says,

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00] Not a lawyer. If you guys break up, you'll most likely have 50-50 custody, and it's extremely unlikely that a judge will ban her from taking the child to see its own grandparents. It doesn't sound like there's been any documentation of abuse from your parents, doctor's visits, cop investigations, any reports, etc. So while you can say it happened, they can deny it. Your sister being a witness may help or not. All of this you need to discuss with a lawyer.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00] It might be supervised visits with a grandparent or something, but I think at this point you need to accept that there's a good chance there'd be in your son's life. Yes, she should have considered your feelings more. You also should have been more open and honest about what happened. Consider if you passed away without telling her this information. Do you think she still would have kept him from your parents? No. She'd want him to have that connection to your family. So, if this is to protect your son, you should have told her. If it was to protect you, then you did the right thing.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says, yeah, my sister and I have no proof of what happened, and she wanted to get financial aid because her PTSD makes it harder for her to work, but her lawyer said it'd be hard to get anyone to believe her or us. She gave up on that eventually. A couple of people have suggested lawyers and custody agreements, but I'm worried that my son will get to live with my girlfriend and her family if we did break up because I have nobody in my corner except for my sister, while she's his mom and has a whole family to support her.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] Admitting to or confronting what happened with my parents in the past is really hard for me, which is why I never actually told her in detail, and I think that was my mistake. I never considered that she'd wish for him to get to meet them. Up until my sister texting me the photo, I kind of just ignored they existed. Opie Locksmith says, oh, she taught your son not to trust you. That would be a reason to drag her ass to court for a custody agreement, but she also has the sign that she will never go to your parents behind your back with him.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00] Imagine a toddler who gets told by his mom not to tell daddy. That little kid was in an abuser's home unsupervised many, many times. Imagine grandpa would have done something to him and that kid had learned to keep secrets. That's horrible and manipulative. Imagine an accident happened to that child. He would have been none the wiser. That betrayal is unforgivable. She drove a wedge between you and your kid. Nah, I would be done.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says I panicked when he said it was something he wasn't supposed to say. She apparently told him it was a surprise, and that's why he had to say he was at her parents. I wouldn't have been this upset had she cheated on me, but she involved him, made him a secret and put him at risk. And the more I've been thinking about this, the more I feel like I can't trust her anymore. Especially if something did happen and he just doesn't realize I haven't asked the right questions or he doesn't have the vocabulary. So Opie came in with an update after four days and says,

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00] first of all, thank you for all the comments and input. I didn't feel like I could even think when I made my initial post, so it was good getting different perspectives. This will be a long post, but I'll put a TLDR at the bottom. I did write that my girlfriend and I would talk that same day I posted, but we didn't because I needed to sort myself out and think she did too. She's been avoiding me ever since and requested we talk at her parents' place. But I didn't want that, so we didn't get to talk until yesterday while my son was at my sister's.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00] Apparently in September last year, my mother reached out to my girlfriend on Facebook, asking how me and my son were doing. My mother is a very intelligent woman, but highly manipulative. She convinced my girlfriend to visit them because my father is ill. My girlfriend said she didn't tell me because she knew I'd say no, and she wanted to see what kind of people my parents were. She brought our son, but didn't leave him alone at first. But their visits got fairly regular, and she became comfortable with leaving him with my parents.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00] He seemed fine, he even seemed to like it there. So she didn't feel like he was in danger. The first time she left my son fully alone was when she went Christmas shopping. I think from what I had told her about my childhood home, she expected a house of horrors, but according to her, the place was clean and fixed up. The dog was healthy and my parents were nice. The thing is that she knew something happened to my sister. I never told her what happened to me, which I now see I probably should have done.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00] She doesn't see predators everywhere like I do, and when my son didn't report anything negative, she saw no issue taking him and leaving him there. It's pretty clear she doesn't know anything about abuse and what it can look like. I don't understand how she could think she'd be able to spot the signs with this little knowledge. My father has been in contact with children most of my life, and while I don't know if he's done anything to them, my sister always said he knew how to make children feel at ease. Both of my parents are very methodical and calculating,

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00] so I don't blame her for believing them, but I blame her for not discussing this with me. She went to visit them after talking to my mother for a few days. Meanwhile, I've lived there for 17 years, and somehow she thought she knew better than me. Even when I told her some details about my childhood, she still tried to push supervised visits, saying my father was ill and my son had a right to meet his grandparents, which I don't agree with at all. The thought of children being around these people makes me sick,

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00] but she seems reluctant to agree to officially limit their visitation rights. I'd need her agreement, however, unless I want a court case. I also try to explain why this felt like a betrayal, because this is not just about putting my son in danger. It's also about her going behind my back for months. What else would she be capable of? Then she told my son to keep the visits a secret, which is exactly what abusers say too. She did apologize. She made an honest mistake, and feels like I'm blowing this out of proportion,

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00] and that her parents think so too. Besides, our son is fine, and I shouldn't have raised my voice at her mother, and she'd be more grateful for what her parents have done for me, and us over the years. Which I am. I owe them, sure, but that doesn't mean they can just overrule my parenting decisions, or get so involved. I feel like neither her nor her parents trust me, or take me seriously, and it's so frustrating when the mother of your son is pretty much actively working against you. I don't think she can even grasp how terrified I was

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_00] when I talked to my son about their visits. Again, I know it's my fault for not telling her everything, but I never thought she would do something like that. My past never really affected me much anyway. I never felt like there was a reason for her to know all the details. Honestly, I don't know if anything is resolved. I know why she made the choices she made, but I don't feel like she understands why I was, and still am upset. She left after bringing up her mother, because I got angry. And I know I shouldn't have, but I revealed something so big, you just still don't get taken seriously.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_00] I want us to work, and she agreed that it'd take a lot of work to get back to before all of this, which I'm not sure is even possible. I apparently deeply upset her, and scared our son. True, I never wanted us to fight in front of him like that either, and I angered her family. I think for me emotionally, all feelings for her vanished the moment I found out, so that's kind of where I'm at now. I wish we could make it work for his sake, but I don't want him to grow up with dysfunctional parents, or with his parents fighting every day. So if this doesn't work out,

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00] I'll need to get a lawyer. I'm willing to put in the work needed for us to stay together, but I've been doing a lot of thinking. We were so young when we started dating, and had our son, and I'm not sure I ever thought about us staying together forever. I only stayed because I was living with them, and then I stayed because I didn't want to be a shitty teen dad, abandoning my son and the girl I loved, because I really did love her, I think. Also, I'm partially responsible for her being pregnant in the first place, before he was even born. As for my son, I've talked to him a lot these past few days.

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00] I taught him about touch, and what's okay, and what isn't, so I just hope it's true that nothing happened. He has also apparently not seen anything inappropriate. Our fight got to him though, and he knows I was sad, and knows his mum is too, and I hope him and I talked it out enough, and that my girlfriend gets to talk about this with him too. We might just sit him down or something. I need to talk to her about that. Edit. I feel the need to clarify a few things. Also, I see a bunch of people fighting in the comments,

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_00] and I didn't word things as clearly as I should have in the post. I went no contact with my parents when I moved out for good. When my girlfriend was pregnant, we talked about my parents, and I told her I did not want to tell them they were going to be grandparents, and I did not want them to ever see our child. She agreed, and that was that. Her and I have talked about my childhood prior to my first post. She knows enough about my living conditions to know it was unsafe for any child. She knows my father is a violent alcoholic, and she knows about a lot of crazy shit my mother pulled over the years.

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_00] She knows my sister has a PTSD diagnosis, and she knows my father touched her. That is everything she knew, and I honestly think that should have been enough. The parents also know about most of this. Yes, I raised my voice at her, and her mum when I found out she had been taking him there, and I should definitely not have done that. It's been really, really hard to stay calm when talking about my parents, especially with her refusing to listen to me. Our conversation on Thursday was very emotional as well,

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00] but I ultimately just shut down after I told her that my father has also abused me. Yet she still said, I don't see why we can't do supervised visits. I don't even have an argument because logically he can't do anything with someone watching, but it still feels like I'd be trafficking my son, even if he doesn't touch him at all. I can't even explain why I feel that way. People in the comments say it's just an emotional response, which is true, and maybe it's illogical, but I truly don't see how getting to know his grandparents would be beneficial to him in any way.

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_00] The reason I hadn't told her the details before is because I was fine being intimate. I managed at work. Not like I wanted to kill myself every day because my parents were shitty or something. It didn't need to be brought up, and then having to talk about it is just painful. There's a lot of shame and just things my parents, I guess brainwashed me to feel. It felt even more impossible after how dismissive she was. Things have calmed down between us now. Maybe it's sinking in for her now, even though she still argues that nothing happened, and ultimately everything was fine.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_00] But it still feels like that's just her inability to accept she's made a mistake. Repeatedly, she said she really thought they were okay because they seemed normal. Cleaned house and all. The dog is not a ball of matted hair like our old one. Everything being the opposite of how I described it. I don't think she'd bring him there behind my back again, but obviously I can't say for certain. We have not talked about this anymore. Maybe we need that right now so our son doesn't realize how bad it is between us currently,

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_00] though I'm worried he knows anyway. I think we'll separate though. I don't see us as the future partners anymore. Her teaching him to lie to me, and her parents apparently told her that it isn't a big deal, really scares me. I'm scared they will paint me as abusive or something because I really don't have much going for me when it comes to custody. She's the one with a functional support system, with people helping her look after our child, and her parents have the money for a good lawyer, and can risk a lengthy legal battle. All of this, however,

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_00] are things I need to talk to a lawyer about as soon as I find one. I'm not feeling anything for her anymore, not even anger. I know we can't stay together. I don't want us to end up like my parents. I don't want my son exposed to that, so I'm going to have to discuss separating with a lawyer, and then decide from there. I think the best I can hope for is that we'll separate without much fighting, and that we can co-parent effectively, which is also why I don't want to stir up any more arguments. I definitely take legal steps against my parents, seeing him though,

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_00] as well as taking him to a doctor. That is absolutely fucking terrifying for OP, and I can understand why they would be getting so upset in these situations. But OP explaining that she knew some of the past abuse that the sister, you know, was abused, and he himself was abused as well, and then she turns around and goes like, but, you know, we can do supervised visitations. It's like, what the fuck are you thinking? And I don't know all the legalities and all that sort of stuff behind it, but like, you know, for you,

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_00] I'd be finding any way I could, so those parents have nothing to do with that child. Get contact in no way whatsoever. I don't know if it's possible, but Cultural says, honestly, I think you should go ahead and talk to a lawyer. At minimum, they can advise you on whether there are any protections you can put in place when it comes to your family, so your girlfriend can't just ignore your no without consequences. But given that she still doesn't seem to think she did anything seriously wrong, you're probably going to want to know what all your options are

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_00] if you have to enforce them. I'm torn on whether couples therapy would be a good idea to get through to her, that she can't just decide she knows better than you on this, including what is and isn't a big deal, or if you should just work with someone on your own on reinforcing boundaries and where and how to draw the line. Maybe start with the latter and go from there. Opie responded saying, I think couples therapy would be good, so we'd have someone there to mediate and make sure we don't end up fighting. I'm just not sure how to afford that and a lawyer.

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_00] Her parents are supporting us financially and we're on a financial aid because we don't make enough between the two of us. We might manage therapy, but I doubt she would pitch in for a lawyer, especially if it's about us separating and making custody agreements. Opie responded to a longer thread saying, answering this one so people see. Sorry, I truly don't know what else to do but to stay. I can't just go and walk out on them, her family included. I feel like I have to at least try and make it work with her. I just can't see her as someone

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00] willingly putting him at risk. I feel like she's just being ignorant and can't imagine abuse actually happening to people. And if I push for sole custody, who's saying I actually win? Plus, I don't want to hurt her or ruin our relationship and I don't want to take my son's mom away from him. I'm ready to take legal steps to get a restraining order or something against my parents and I probably should have done that from the beginning. But back when my son was born, she seemed totally fine not contacting my parents. I thought that was done

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_00] and suddenly I found out she's taking him there. And while I didn't always agree with her parents, they seemed fine too. They allowed me to stay at their house when I was 16 or 17 and my girlfriend and I just started dating and they took me in with no questions asked and they have been really supportive. It's like suddenly I wake up to every person in my life being not who I thought they were. I know this is really easy for me to say because I obviously haven't gone through the abuse that OP's gone through. So it's obviously incredibly difficult

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_00] to speak about for OP. I kind of feel like, you know, just going to their parents and laying it out plainly in front of them. They may have already heard this and you know, this might be absolutely pointless, but I'm telling them exactly what happened to their face just to see their reaction. I find it just absolutely mind-blowing that they've been told that these people are abusive and you're still like, oh yeah, yeah. Take my grandson around there for visits. I just find that crazy. No Reserve says,

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_00] were the parents ever taken to court for their abuse? Maybe have a lawyer look into getting you full custody based on the fact that your girlfriend is endangering your son. People always believe that the abuse is exaggerated no matter what the truth is. I've been there. OP says no. And there was never official reports. I don't know if you can get witnesses or anything, but my parents being violent is something my neighbors knew. I think the whole street did and one neighbor apparently asked my sister about it too. But other than that, there's no proof besides my sister's PTSD diagnosis.

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_00] Got that done a while ago and wanted to pursue getting government aid. Even had a lawyer, but she gave up. As for sexual abuse, there's no proof. No doctor's visits, nothing. I've been looking into custody though. My girlfriend's been acting dismissive and weird when coming over earlier today. Don't see her getting it, even if I spell out exactly what happened. I don't think she'd go behind my back again, but I can't trust her anymore. So I definitely need to take legal steps to make sure. OP responds to another long thread and says,

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00] thank you for the resources. I had told her my parents were abusive and then yesterday, while not given the full story, I think I did reveal enough about my father for anyone to understand how dangerous he is and yet she still didn't seem to listen to me. She's been over here again and has still been acting dismissive of my concerns because I wanted to bring all of this up again to see where she's at and to see if she's maybe done some thinking. I feel like she knows she messed up and her parents gotta know as well, but they think I can't accept how much they messed up.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_00] So that's why they've all been so dismissive. They can't put themselves in the category of abusers, bad parents or bad grandparents. I'm definitely gonna get some sort of protection order or something. I'm afraid my parents will pull something like that again and I just need it to ease my mind a bit and have some legal things to back me up. I don't know if I'm making much sense, but again, thank you for the resources. It's like a solid foundation at least because everything is so messy right now. 26 days after those posts, OP came in with an update and said, hello guys,

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00] I've had people reach out in DMs and I'm sorry I didn't get back to you or answer any comments. I was just really overwhelmed by the attention my post garnered. Some told me my post was shared to another sub, which I think led to an increase in people commenting and reaching out, so I kind of just gave up. I don't know how many people will see this post or if it will be shared. I think I prefer if this got a little less traction. Thanks for offering help and advice. I think I've read most of the comments and a lot of this was really good advice, so I guess it was good so many people saw it.

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_00] I finally have some time to make another update. My son is all right, thank God. I've been calling doctors and therapists until one of them, even though booked, offered to do an assessment. She even stayed longer in her office for us. She also thankfully gave me a bunch of resources and organizations I can reach out to. According to her, he doesn't display any warning signs of abuse. The physician who works with court cases said so too. I'm incredibly relieved. I guess we can't be sure

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_00] and the past weeks seem to have taken a toll on him, but at least the rest is all right. She's been recommending another therapist who lives a bit farther away in case he has issues adjusting to us splitting up. So yeah, my girlfriend is now my ex. I don't even want to go into detail about all the shit that's happened in the past weeks. Honestly, this whole thing was just the last straw. Maybe it's a change of perspective after a betrayal, but I put up with her for way too long. As for how I'm doing, I honestly don't know. I'm incredibly overwhelmed still

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_00] and it's starting to turn into physical symptoms of stress. This is of course not good for my son because he can sense I'm sad and tired. I have hardly any motivation anymore and I guess I'm really lucky that I have another person to care for. I don't know what I would be doing otherwise. He's pretty much the only thing keeping me together at this point. I'm worried he somehow feels responsible for me and the whole situation. He also frequently asks if everything is okay. But we've been reading books about parents splitting up and about mental health stuff

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_00] so it seems to help him be less anxious. I got a lawyer. We have a custody plan. Sort of. She's currently back to living with her parents so we each have some space. We've been to a mediator actually and have talked about my childhood and everything that transpired these past weeks. Having someone else there to back me up and use scientific terms has apparently given me some credibility. Part of our custody agreement is that he won't be around my parents at all. Which she actually agreed to right away.

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_00] She still doesn't admit that she really fucked up but it's whatever at this point. I've made it really clear that I will take this to court if she ever goes behind my back again and I'm going the official route as well to take away my parents' rights. Currently looking into that more. If they want to take this to court I'm going to go public about their abuse and I'm going to fight them. Even with no proof. There's also the option of facilities where staff can monitor visits. If my parents manage to get visitation I'll demand we do that. Thankfully it looks on my girlfriend and I

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_00] of somewhat a peaceful separation. Things have been really difficult with her in private after I broke up but it's calmed down now. We both want to remain on friendly terms or at least not hostile for our son and that won't work if we each fight for full custody. This also means I will not try getting full custody. I'm already overwhelmed enough and I'm scared it will just get worse the older my son gets and the closer he gets to the age I was when my father's abuse got bad. My lawyer thinks this is the best route too

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_00] but I will be collecting evidence against her just in case something happens. I might be paranoid but I think it's normal after what's happened. People have been very kind not just here on Reddit but also those around me. I made my last update feeling very hopeless worried about my son and having to take leave to deal with everything and then there's also been my financial situation. My lawyer is doing this pro bono and my bosses have offered their support when I informed them I needed to leave to deal with a family emergency. I'm going to figure out a work schedule

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_00] but doubt I'll still be able to work at my job full time in the future. Things will change once he goes to school but I had just been given more responsibility at work and was getting paid more. So I was planning on paying back my girlfriend's parents but I'll have to put that off for now. We'll also probably have to move which is another stressful thing currently. Things aren't looking great to be honest but I at least don't feel as lost anymore. We'll also be doing therapy. I know I should but kind of procrastinated

[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_00] on finding someone for years. I think this might look good on paper but above all I think I need it. Especially with all the things going on. I hope therapy is going to help with the feeling of doom. Lol. And there's a bunch of stuff I should be addressing especially because I'm kind of figuring out how damaging this relationship with my ex has been. So yeah. That's it. Best way to deal with this whole thing and the best outcome. And we do have another update in a moment. Apparently a final update.

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_00] But I think therapy is maybe such a great thing for OP. I know some people say it's not for them. I was one of those people probably a year or so ago. And I'm not saying you're wrong or anything if you do if you do think it's not for you but I was wrong myself. There's a lot of stuff that I question about my childhood and you know and looking back on it with an adult brain and feel sorry and my actions as a kid and the way that my therapist talks about it you know you didn't think about that way as a child because you didn't have

[00:25:45] [SPEAKER_00] that thought process back then etc. How it's created this hyper vigilance therapist calls it within me and my brain just doesn't switch off and makes links between things constantly. You know it's pretty exhausting. It's interesting at the same time don't get me wrong I don't completely hate it but it's nice to put a name to it but I think for OP it could be really beneficial for them it seems they have a ton to unpack right I think it'd be really difficult for them

[00:26:14] [SPEAKER_00] but they seem really mature I just think it'd be really beneficial. Glum says to OP did her parents know about the abuse and I'm glad you got things worked out. OP says they knew I would get beaten but they never knew how bad. They also knew my sister quit working due to her mental health but I didn't tell them about the sexual abuse. Legal throwaway says I'm sorry but also happy for you I hope you excel. If not for yourself then for your son we're all rooting for you. Also what was her parents

[00:26:44] [SPEAKER_00] reactions been? Only if you're comfortable sharing of course. OP says yeah it's just kind of unfortunate all this has happened. I'm still trying to get used to the whole situation but I hope it can only go up from here. Her dad seemed alright with us breaking up actually. He came by to help her pack some stuff and we had a casual conversation. His dad was a soldier and while we haven't talked about him much I think he knows what it's like growing up with a father similar to mine. Her mom has been kind of treating me like I don't exist. She comes by to pick up my son a few times and has been acting

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_00] very cold. She didn't even really greet me or talk at all even after I apologized for the last time. I haven't actually talked to them about the sexual abuse and I don't know if my girlfriend has but I'm not sure I ever will. Telling her and a bunch of doctors and lawyers was enough for now. I think I might I don't know yet I'll have to if they start meddling. So OP came back into the post 10 months later with their final update and says I want to thank every single one of you for reaching out and sharing your own stories.

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_00] I'm sorry for not being active and ignoring pretty much every DM I got. It means a lot to me it's just a lot to reply to everyone. I've been meaning to make a post on our current situation. I even had a couple of drafts but they never seem good enough. But considering that I got about 20 DMs I think it's time to make an update. My father was hospitalized in September and died beginning of October. It's been hard. I had a lot of conflicting feelings especially because I didn't go to the hospital or his funeral. My sister didn't attend either.

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_00] Our mother reached out but she hasn't since. Hasn't even made any Christmas posts. I don't know what she's doing or where she is. I think she's currently at her mother's who has dementia and can't be left unsupervised. After his death things got tough and issues dealing with everything. My ex and I had been trying to rekindle but I quickly figured out it wouldn't work. I'm trying to heal from everything that happened at home and during all of this I started to see what had been going on in our relationship. We were both young and her and her family were my

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_00] easiest way out. I ended up in a situation similar to the one I'd just gotten out of. It took me a while to accept that. The past few months she's been doing things I don't agree with and she's been going against pretty much every single one of the agreements we've made regarding custody. Her new boyfriend's going to be doing a cross country move and it looks like she's coming with. I'm glad to be honest. It seems like she just wants to move past what's happened between us including our son and I'm currently in the process of getting full custody. They'll move in two months.

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_00] She agreed to give up legal and physical custody and pay child support. What? Although this hurts and I know it's going to hurt my son, I think this is the best case scenario. She's bad at choosing partners and can't provide a safe environment for children and I'm tired of fighting. I wish I had a less infuriating update but this is just how things are. My son is doing well all things considered. My sister and I move to a bigger place. He's made friends with kids from the neighborhood and is doing well in therapy.

[00:29:42] [SPEAKER_00] He's angry a lot but we're working through that. He's also started to get extremely picky when it comes to food but that's apparently fairly normal. He also wants a dog which is the only Christmas present I couldn't get him but I hope he has everything he needs and I'm trying to establish an open and honest relationship where he feels safe. He hasn't discussed anything alarming, hasn't mentioned anything in therapy or to my sister either. I'm keeping an eye on him and I just hope that we manage to give him everything he needs and that once he's older he knows how to communicate if he

[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_00] ever needs anything else. The last time he saw his mom was on Christmas. But we are fostering a somewhat good relationship with her parents. I'm doing alright I guess. I'm trying to work through everything but because of everything else going on I don't really have enough space to allow myself to feel anything besides stress. I have a new job now with flexible hours and my sister and I are pulling through until we can eventually go to preschool. Her and I have always been pretty close and I'm grateful that we've gotten a lot closer. Her mental health has also improved and

[00:30:41] [SPEAKER_00] even though it's been a lot on both of us I think having a child around has really helped her improve. I'm so incredibly grateful. I have so many supportive people in my life including her and our neighbors, our new landlady and all the strangers I got to meet online and in real life. I've experienced a lot of kindness over the past few months and especially hearing that people are proud of me for standing up for my son and for how I'm managing has helped and stuck with me. I'd initially left out the part about me and my ex briefly getting back together but I decided to be honest

[00:31:11] [SPEAKER_00] on here. I think because of therapy, because I've been looking into how men deal with abuse and how little society pays attention to victims who aren't what they deem successful. I feel like somehow I have a chance to do something even if this will get lost among everything else happening online. I guess that's it. I wish everyone has reached out and shared their own struggles that they will continue to heal. Hope all of you have a pleasant 2026. Absolutely rooting for Opie on this. They were 22.

[00:31:41] [SPEAKER_00] They said like themselves that they had no support system, no proof up against the whole family and their lawyers and Opie still did everything they could protecting their son. Got into therapy himself. Sons in therapy at the same time. Dealt with the death of his father which clearly has brought up some conflicting feelings for him. And of course it would. So good on Opie and I really really do wish him and his family all the best going forward.

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER_00] But the girlfriend in this upping and just leaving their son like that signing over custody. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad she did. Just upping and abandoning your child like that. It's just it's just so fucking wild. Again I'm glad she did because her out of his life is probably the best thing right now. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:32:40] [SPEAKER_00] Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for being involved in today's story. Your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being here. Truly it's absolutely amazing and hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care and much love.

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. Man, I remember being so naive when life was good weather and palm trees back in the day. You were everything I need. But then alone came a time when you crushed my dreams. Oh yeah, you played me like a fool when you made me believe that the line between love wasn't thinking of to read. Oh yeah, you see we in the spare crime everywhere. You selling false hope cause you just don't care. Nah, you just don't care. Nah, nah, nah. You just don't, just don't care. You just.