My Brother Walked Out On Me And Now Years Later Wants To Reconcile

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider? And that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_00] Now today's first story comes from Lucas Bolts who says, am I the arsehole here for not wanting to reconnect with my brother? And there was a trigger warning on this one of abandonment and mentions of child abuse. So if you do want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. This is a bit of a long story, but I'm going to try and condense it down to only the important details.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00] Before my mum met my dad and had me, Mel 22, my mum had a son with a guy, Rob, fake name. Rob was a piece of shit who abused my mum and manipulated my brother, Ash, Mel 29. Ash had a lot of problems. He had really bad anger issues and have so many memories from my childhood of him physically attacking me, my mum and my dad. But when he wasn't flipping out, he was the best brother in the world.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00] He could play video games until the AM, play outside. I loved him, despite all his flaws. When I was around nine, one day he went to his dad's house and never came home. Apparently this was his choice, but had always kept my hope he would come home, and he did. When I was in eighth grade, 13, he moved back in right before going to college. I was so excited to have my big brother back. We spent that whole summer with no issues, just him and me hanging out just like old times.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not sure what his final argument with my parents was. All I heard was screaming and then him storming out of the house and never coming back. Him leaving again ruined my mum and it ruined me. That Christmas, he left a box on our front porch for me. It took about three months for me to open it. I was too hurt. I missed my brother. The last time I saw him was my high school graduation. I went to high school with his cousin and I saw Ash walking around.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00] He made eye contact, he definitely recognised me, and he walked away. That pissed me off and almost ruined my whole day. It was also the day I found out he had blocked me. Over the years, that pain has turned into resentment. Don't get me wrong, I wanted him to turn his life around, heal, get better, whatever, but he's caused me too much pain sitting around and hoping one day he'll come home. I made the decision that if he tried to come back into my life, I wouldn't allow him for my own sake.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_00] That brings me to now. My mum called Friday and asked me to come home for the weekend because it was something we needed to talk about. When I got home, she sat me down and Ash had sent her a text message. Apparently, he had gotten therapy, was married, had a kid and was finally ready to try again. He felt awful for how he treated us and wanted to meet up to talk everything over. My mum was so excited and said we would be meeting up with him next weekend. I told her I was happy with her, but I would not be coming.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00] She was confused and I told her what I told you. I don't want him back in my life. It just wouldn't be good for me, considering I still haven't fully healed from the last time he left. I cried, she cried, and I went to my room. Later that evening, both my parents confronted me about Ash. They both said it was rude of me to decline seeing him, that I should at least hear him out and then I can decide if I want to heal our relationship. But I've already made up my mind. I made up my mind years ago.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00] I explained my side, saying I was happy he was better, that he had a good life now, but I want no part of it. He hurt me and that trauma and pain has followed me my whole life. My parents called me bitter and said I'm holding a grudge that doesn't need to be held anymore. I don't care. This is the part I think I fucked up. I told my mom as far as I'm concerned, Ash is dead to me. He can try to fix our relationship, beg for forgiveness, but he's never getting it. I started yelling, my dad started yelling, my mom started crying again.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00] I pointed at her and said see, he isn't even in our lives again and we're right back to here. Went back to my room and sobbed into my pillow. Both my parents aren't talking to me, unless it's begging me to go with them to see Ash. I'm not sure if I should suck it up and go see him, or if I should stand my ground and keep my boundaries. I feel like an arsehole for making my mom cry. And what if he did change? How unfair is it for me to judge him based on shit he did when he was a teenager? He had a shitty childhood too. Maybe I should just forgive him and keep the peace.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00] Now, this is not the arsehole from me. People love to say, you know, he's changed or whatever, like somehow that erases what you went through and it doesn't. You're not obligated to reopen that pain for you just because he's ready now and your boundary is completely valid. You don't want to go through that again. Was what you said to your mom harsh? I don't know. Honestly, it came from a place in the heat of the moment after years of hurt. So I kind of find it understandable. You just simply stood your ground in this and I don't blame you for it.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00] Because in the end, if meeting up with him is going to do absolutely nothing for you, maybe even damage you further, you're making the right choice. But the commenter says, not the arsehole. He hurt you. So if you ever want to reconnect, it should be on your terms. Your parents trying to force you will only drive you further away. It may be true that he's changed and he's better. You may be able to have a relationship again in the future. But that has to be once you are ready. Otherwise, that resentment is probably just going to follow you. My guess is your parents feel guilty for having failed him or something like that.

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00] So they're trying to force you to play happy families again to get him back. Do what you think is best for you now. If Ash doesn't accept that, then he hasn't really changed. Turbulent says, not the arsehole. It really pisses me off when someone leaves and causes immense pain and then claims they are ready to come back. The enormous amount of entitlement for these people to just disregard the amount of pain they have done is just pathetic. Also, part of healing is confronting and recognizing your past mistakes because he never reached out to you.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00] He isn't even ready yet. Keep healing. Kinect says, not the arsehole. You are not a backup character in Ash's redemption arc. It's great that he got therapy in the family, but that doesn't magically erase years of physical abuse and abandonment. Your parents are so blinded by the hope of having their son back that they are completely ignoring the trauma you suffered. You don't owe him a hearing just because he's finally ready to talk. Healing happens on your timeline, not his. Andromeda says, what was the last fight about where he disappeared?

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00] Him storming out and staying away because of an argument with your parents might have been their fault. So until you know the full story, they're wrong for insisting you see him. They should disclose what actually happened. You speak a lot about healing and getting someone's life back together, but if you're still sobbing into your pillow all night five years later at the mere mention of his name, you are far from healed yourself. You have a lot of hurt around him that you seemingly have not processed at all for many years. Go to therapy, unpack it, get the real story from your parents and reassess.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_00] Not the arsehole. Hope you reply, saying, I'm not sure of the whole story. It was right after he moved into college. I can remember my dad throwing the word selfish around a lot. And one more comment from background who says, not the arsehole. Your mom has a desire, I'm sure, to make everything right in her family whole. Your dad, her husband, wants her to be happy. I suspect she's always felt that if Ash came back into the fold, then everything would fall back into place.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00] She did not consider the pain that you've experienced and that renewing a relationship with him might not be something you'd be willing to consider now or ever. She may even think that if you're not part of the reconciliation, that Ash will withdraw. But they cannot decide how you feel about this or when and if you're ready to have that conversation with him. And it's really pretty disgusting that they are yelling at you and trying to force you to do something that you clearly do not feel comfortable with or ready to do. So, OP did come in with a couple of updates. The first one said,

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00] What was the last fight about? This has been something that has been bugging me for a while. So, before giving my mom an answer of if I was going with her to see Ash, I asked. So, she told me. Apparently, my brother and my dad had gotten into a fight about housing. Ash was home for the weekend while he was in college and had apparently made a few demands. He demanded to be allowed to live at home rent-free for however long he wanted. My dad obviously said no. That pissed my brother off and he left. He then sent a bunch of texts to my mom harassing her and me.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00] She didn't get into exactly what was said to her but it was apparently very upsetting. What did he leave you? Maybe he was reaching out. OP says it was a pop figure of a singer I liked. It's the only pop I haven't taken out of its box. Go to therapy. I have and I'm currently in therapy. I've done a lot of healing since he left. I am diagnosed with CPTSD from maybe incidents that happened while he was living with us that I don't care to get into. That being said, I called my mom to talk.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00] I asked why after all he's done to us. She'd want to reconnect with him. She said what a lot of you guys said. The last time we saw Ash was when he was 19. His actions were that of a teenager who had a lot of shit happen to him. It seemed that she'd thought it over and asked how she could make me comfortable enough to see him. After all, one of the biggest struggles I've had in terms of Ash was closure. Him leaving for the final time was sudden. He didn't say goodbye, just grabbed his stuff and left.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00] She pointed out that even if I decide against restarting our relationship, it might help just to see him. So, I decided to go. I did make some conditions, however. I wanted to meet in public, at a restaurant or something, which she immediately agreed to. I would drive myself, so if at any point I didn't feel comfortable, safe, or just wanted to leave, I'd have the ability to. That one she called childish, but agreed. Our dinner is on Saturday.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_00] I saw this subreddit only allows one update, so I might edit this post with what happens after, if I feel I need to. Thank you all again. So, it was five weeks after this one that OP came in with their final update and said, Hi everyone. I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but things have been really rough lately and I've been struggling a lot. Before I get into the update, I wanted to address something. In my last update, I mentioned that I have CPTSD, and a lot of people were concerned about me meeting up with Ash because of this.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_00] Well, part of my PTSD is from Ash. It's not just because of him. Long story short, I didn't have a good childhood. I'll just leave it at that. Anyways, Ash. I arrived at the restaurant late. I almost backed out last minute, but I took a deep breath and went inside. Ash was already with my parents, and they seemed to be having a good conversation. I walked over and Ash did a double take before realizing who I was, and he asked what I was doing there. Apparently, after a lot of my mum explaining panicky, Ash had asked her not to invite me.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00] Here, my mum had been emailing back and forth for months, and she had been the one to talk to him into meeting up with him.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00] My dad just sat next to her silently. He had pissed me off more, and years of anger and trauma were unleashed. I told him he didn't have a right to not want to face me when I spent years of my life calling and texting a blocked number, thinking I did something wrong. I told him he had millions of chances to reconcile, but he didn't, and he had no right to regret that. He just stood there and took it, said he was sorry, and went back inside. The fact that he had nothing to say made me even more mad, and straight from the restaurant, I drove to my boyfriend's house, since he lived pretty close. My mum blew up my phone.

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00] She called me selfish and didn't raise a child to walk away. I told her she was right. She raised two. She forced me to face the guy that had given me nightmares at the age of ten, and she had done it behind both me and Ash's backs. Apparently after the lunch, he told her that this was a mistake and would go back to no contact. I did get an email from Ash a few days later. The email explained how bad he had felt I had to go through that, and that he's genuinely sorry for how my mum went about this.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_00] He said I was valid for losing it on him, and he had no idea how badly he had affected me. It was a really long email, explaining a lot of what happened in our childhoods. He even sent old pictures of us that he had saved. He said again, he misses me, but neither of us are emotionally ready to talk or meet up. But if I have any questions or wanted to talk, to email him. I didn't respond. I didn't plan on it. I thought I was ready to face him, but I'm not. I don't think I ever will. I've moved into my boyfriend's place until I graduate college.

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_00] I'm in my last term, and I'm apartment hunting. He offered to let me live there, but I feel like I need to be on my own. I talked all this over with my therapist, who agreed. I blocked my parents. I'm not talking to them. Maybe I'll let them back in my life, but I don't think that'll be for a while. I can't believe my mum did this. Then got mad at me for not wanting to be around Ash, and my dad for going along with it. I won't be updating anymore. My life has fallen apart over a single lunch, and once again, somehow, Ash has once again ruined my life.

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_00] But thankfully, I do have a good support system outside of my parents. Most of my family is on my side, and support me cutting off my parents. My boyfriend's family loves me, and I have a lot of good and close friends. Thanks for listening. And the whole situation just proves exactly why you were hesitant in the first place. You didn't create any of this chaos. Your mum did by trying to force a reunion both of you weren't ready for and going behind everyone's backs. It's kind of adding pieces to the puzzle as it goes along with your mum and dad, I think.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_00] I'm kind of glad, although I'm not sure how OP feels about it, that he did. The brother did email in the end and explain the whole situation about how he felt, etc, etc. But there was a huge line in this that stood out to me about OP not having a great childhood overall, and I can't help but think a lot of this runs deeper than just your brother. It sounds like there was a lot going on in that house, and the kind of thing that can leave lasting damage on everyone that was involved in different ways. Obviously, this doesn't excuse his behaviour,

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00] but I think it certainly added some context on how things got bad. I think in the end it's just devastating for OP, but I really hope that OP does start to heal from everything he's going through. The therapist and getting his own place, just taking a step back from all these people that have failed him. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story.

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_00] Now our next story comes from the Relationship Advice subreddit from a throwaway account, and says, Not sure how I, 35 female, save my marriage with my 35 male husband. Please help. This is a throwaway account, as I don't want this getting back to my friends and family. For context, I've known my husband for over 20 years, but have been with him for over 13 years. We started dating in our early 20s and have three kids. I'm introverted slash extroverted individual. Let me explain.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00] I don't hate people, but I don't like getting close to them either. I've been hurt and let down by those close to me that I prefer to keep people at arm's length. For those that I am close with, I am very outgoing and engaged, but if you don't fall in that category, you get a silent individual. My husband is the opposite. He's extremely extroverted, and I'm 100% okay with that. I encourage him to hang out with his friends and get out of the house when he can. Since our second one was born, 8 years ago,

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_00] it's like he's been detached from life. He goes to work, comes back home, just to do it all over again. Then COVID hit, and it was really hard on him because his family basically treated him terrible to the point that he had cut most of them off. Since 2020, he doesn't hang out with any friends anymore. Not always, by choice. They will make plans with him and then ghost him. I want to say, not because he's my husband, that he is a really good man and friend. If you need him, he's there, but that is never reciprocated with him.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00] It's one of the reasons why I dislike a lot of his friends. They use him when they need him and then ghost him the rest of the time. Have a feeling he is depressed and not sure what to do. He just started getting help, but the therapist said he's not really engaging with them either, and not sure how to help him if he won't open up. What can I do to help him? He's not a bad guy, but his lack of effort is starting to ruin our marriage. Anybody gone through this? Please help. A commenter says depression is probably the answer.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00] He needs some therapy and a sit-down conversation where you tell him that you have his back, but he needs help and you're worried about him. He needs to take this seriously for the children so they can have their father back. Get him into a sport slash new hobby, even if you have to prod him into it the whole time. He needs to make some new friends and keep moving. I hope he says I'll add to this post, but for our kids, he's always there. He never misses events. He's always cheering them on. He's even the coach to our youngest, Little League. He hasn't stopped being a dad. He's scared to disappoint our kids.

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00] My therapist thinks he sees me as his safe space, which is why he feels comfortable enough to just stop trying. I've talked to him and he is seeing a therapist. We're also in marriage counseling, but his therapist has told me he's not engaging with them, and they aren't sure how to help him if he's not trying. The commuter says, Have you told him it's affecting your relationship? I hope he says I have. He starts to try and then it's like everything hits him all at once and then he gets detached all over again. A commuter says,

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_00] Tell him all the things you value about him and all the reasons you're glad he's your husband, his family, and apparently his friends don't seem to appreciate those things, but you do. Remind him. I hope he says I do all the time. He's an amazing person. He's funny, kind, caring, compassionate, and so much more. It's why I fell in love with him. It hurts me that people treat him this way. I think it's why we work so well because I never stood for people using him. I call them out all the time. A commuter says, Maybe go to some sessions with him.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_00] You may also need meds and just a better community around him. Sometimes people who are givers are surrounded by takers and they can drain a person so badly. You could also need a new therapist. Sometimes you don't mesh well with the first one you try and you just need another one or a different type of therapy, like art therapy, etc. Therapy can be tricky at first, but keep at it and keep being supportive. Good luck. I hope he says that's a good idea. Thank you.

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_00] Many of the comments just mentioning depression and trying to find a way to deal with that. And I know it's different for everyone, but I know how it can absolutely do a number on you. How it can make you feel drained all the time and just lose interest in everything else around you. Your hobbies and your things that you used to love just don't seem as appealing anymore. So I'm really hoping for something positive in these upcoming updates. But Opie did come back in and said, which was two months later by the way,

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00] A lot has happened in two months. I received a lot of helpful advice from some. My husband is doing 1000 times better. His therapist has been amazing through all this and helped us find a great marriage counselor. So many life events hit him all at once. And in his mind, all he could hear was his mom telling him that men suck it up, shut up about it and move on. So that's exactly what he did. And it was breaking him. I followed the advice of a fellow Redditor who went through something similar.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00] And along with his therapist kept pushing until he finally opened up. It was like watching a damn break that needed to be broken. In his words, he knew I knew he was struggling. He just never knew how to talk to me about it because he knows I always try to fix what I can. And he didn't know if I could do that this time. Once he started talking, it's like something switched in his head because now he doesn't shy away from talking to me about anything. He's thanked me for being an amazing wife and sticking with him and not giving up on him.

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_00] He was diagnosed with depression and has been on medication since and he's doing amazing. Some days the struggles are a lot and other days it's fine. But it's the fact that he's now fighting for his happiness and mental health that has me happy for him. My husband has always been a good man. It's part of the reason I fell in love with him. He is the father to our kids that he never had. I am beyond grateful to everyone who offered support and kind words. Depression is no joke.

[00:20:09] [SPEAKER_00] I know our journey to healing is just getting started but I'm hopeful that things will continue to improve. And we do have another update to this in a moment. But first commenter says, I'm very happy to read this. I wish you and your husband continued success on your journey. Hope he simply replied thank you. Another commenter says, What a great update. Happy your husband is doing better. Depression is no joke. It has almost taken me fully too. Hope he says, I'm so happy that you're still here and trying. If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to reach out.

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_00] Having support goes such a long way in recovery. Another commenter says, Thank you for this lovely update. I wish you and your husband happiness. And Opie says, Thank you. This sub can be filled with so many heartbreaking situations. And I just want to give a positive update. I watch my husband struggle some days, but I see him fighting to do better. And that's the part I wanted to share. I hope that someone who reads this who is struggling knows they aren't alone. So, Opie's sort of little update came in the form of a comment on another thread.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_00] It was in the breakup subreddit, in a post that was titled, Broke up with my girlfriend and instantly regret it. Opie was responding to another commenter. The other commenter said, I just want you to keep in mind that some of the people in this thread are seriously heartbroken, and honestly, you shouldn't be listening to all of them. I will say it's possible that you just miss her because the breakup is fresh, but it's also totally possible that you genuinely miss her. You even admitted that you never communicated to her, that it was starting to feel like a lot on you. So my question is,

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_00] if you do want her back, do you think you could actually talk to her this time and be real about how you were feeling? I'm asking because if we're being honest, this sounds like something that's fixable. These people in here are miserable, and misery loves company. Please, if you have something that's actually worth fixing, then fix it. I say that because yeah, you guys might not work out in the long run, but don't walk away and then spend the next five or ten years missing her or looking for her in other women. That's a painful cycle. What I will say is just try,

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_00] communicate how you're feeling, and you can start making decisions about whether or not you really want to be with her. But it's honestly not fair to you or to her to break up because you felt like you were carrying all her emotions, but never even told her that you felt that way. You owe it to both of you to at least talk it through. And this is where OP comes in and says, this really needs to be at the top. My husband was battling severe depression and still is. And I will say the best thing we have done for each other is couples therapy and individual therapy.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_00] The first step is having to actually talk to your partner about the actual issues because nothing can get fixed if you can't work things out together. It's very possible that these two could work things out if he actually communicated his resentment with her. I think saying let it go is really premature. If they actually haven't worked together to fix the actual issues. Some people really are worth fighting for. And it's really lovely that she stuck with him and helped him work through it. And it sounds like they're doing better than ever at the moment.

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_00] Obviously, the husband's still dealing with his depression, but the support he has from his wife in this is just absolutely wonderful. And I bet he appreciates that so, so much. And now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from the Am I the Asshole here subreddit from Phyllis Stottle, who says,

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00] Am I the Asshole here for wanting to quit my unpaid co-host role after being told I couldn't cancel when my pet was dying? And I think you can probably get it from that title, but there will be talk of loss of a pet within this story. So if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. I, 33 Male, am a co-host on a community radio show focused on men's mental health.

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_00] It's unpaid and something I do as a hobby, but it's a pretty big commitment. I drive about three hours each way every week to be there. On top of co-hosting, I also manage the show's social media and Spotify. Editing, uploading, posting, etc. Recently, one of my pets became seriously ill and had surgery. The morning of the show, I found out things weren't looking good and there was a real chance we might have to put him down that day. I messaged the main host to let him know I couldn't make it.

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_00] Background, he works in mental health space and has a bachelor in health science. This was the exchange. I said, hey man, can't make it to the show tonight. One of my pets is really sick at the vet and we might have to put him down tonight. I was really hoping for some good news this morning after his operation, but unfortunately not. He said, we have one rule, you cannot cancel on the day. And later he also said, I hope this is not an April Fool's joke. I hope you responded, I'm not joking.

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_00] I get you have your rules, but this is an emergency and a pretty distressing situation. I was a bit taken aback by the response given the circumstances and considering you work in mental health. A simple, I'm sorry, I hope he's okay, I'll handle the show, would have been fine. He replied, it doesn't stop me being honest. And also, I think we have a different view on death. I get over things pretty quick because life still carries on. When you've lost as many things as I have, it gives you a very different perspective. I do apologize for that.

[00:25:21] [SPEAKER_00] Hope he continues, this whole interaction really didn't sit right with me. I understand having rules, but this felt like a complete lack of empathy for a genuine emergency. Now I'm seriously considering quitting. It's unpaid. I travel three hours each way. And I also handle a lot behind the scenes work like social media and uploading or editing content. I actually don't even know what to say to him yet. Am I the arsehole for wanting to quit over this? Bloody hell, this one pissed me off.

[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_00] The irony of a men's mental health show being run by someone with zero empathy is fucking wild. He had a genuine emergency and a real emotional situation. And his response was so cold and just fucking disrespectful. And him turning around saying, I've lost a lot so I get over things quickly. Isn't some kind of wisdom. It's him just projecting his own coping style onto you. And then dismissing you in the process. It's, oh man. That's not how someone in a mental health space should be talking to people.

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_00] I would absolutely 100% be quitting. I mean, bloody hell, you're traveling three hours each way to deal with this. You're dealing with all their social media and uploading and editing their content at the same time. This guy taking the piss or what? Petty me, and I know this is petty me, would be screenshotting that shit and posting it. Because that is wild. Nojurion says, quit immediately. Driving three hours with today's gas prices is an obscene ask for an unpaid roll. Also, zero concern for your mental health. Did your pet make it?

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_00] I really hope they pulled through. Noobie says, unfortunately, no. He went to three different vets. He had two surgeries. It was brutal. He was only four months old too. Just a baby. He tried so hard and so did he. But the vet said he could not be cured. His ureter had ruptured and to put him down. It was honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I've experienced. Thanks for the love though. Appreciate it. Supercandle says, not the arsehole. I would have quit on the spot after the first message. I hope he doesn't have any clients relying on him for mental health assistance.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_00] His lack of empathy is out of this world. Traditional reply saying this, I'd have been sorely tempted to immediately say, I completely understand since I cannot abide these rules today. It's best to resign effective immediately and you find someone else. My real job has let me off work today. So I can rest assured as best I leave here. My unpaid volunteer job. Mr. Arsehole Boss. High Tech Zombie says, Not the arsehole. This is the most ironic situation if true.

[00:27:44] [SPEAKER_00] Men's mental health is so important that you get blasted for having emotions over a pet's death. Why don't you just try getting over a death man? There are more important things than grief, like discussing men's mental health. Wait a second. Movie says, Not the arsehole. This person shouldn't be doing a show in mental health. A true mental health professional would tell you to look at your codependency, that you've given up this much time for free every week, especially when you're getting treated disrespectfully. And another one says, Unpaid. Six hours commuting.

[00:28:14] [SPEAKER_00] Forget the jerk of the boss. Why are you working there? But OP does update the post and says, I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded. I didn't expect this kind of support, but reading through your comments genuinely helped me feel seen and validated during a pretty difficult time. It gave me a lot of clarity and confidence in how I was feeling. The Reddit community is amazing. I ended up deciding to step away from the show after thinking about it more. The lack of empathy in that situation, the overall lack of respect just didn't sit right with me,

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_00] especially given the focus on mental health. For those asking, this is what I sent. Hey, I'm stepping away from the show effective immediately. The response when I told you my pet was likely going to be put down was unacceptable. It was a real and distressing situation. Instead of any basic empathy, you chose to prioritize a rule and make dismissive comments. That's not something I'm willing to tolerate. Mental health is something I take seriously, which is why I was involved in the first place. The way you handled that situation showed a lack of understanding and respect

[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_00] that doesn't align with the values you claim to represent. I was contributing a significant amount, driving three hours each way, managing social media and Spotify, and doing it all unpaid. I did that because I believed in what the show stood for. This experience made it clear that belief isn't shared. For clarity, my pet did pass, which makes your response even more inappropriate. I value my time, my effort, and how I'm treated, and the situation fell well short of that. I won't be continuing. He replied almost instantly,

[00:29:40] [SPEAKER_00] and his response really solidified my decision. I'm actually in shock and not sure how to react. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I'm in shock that a 46 male can behave like this. He said, If that is how you feel, then that is your choice. But I go on patterns, and the last three times you chose not to come in was because of a sick pet, and all three times you cancelled on the day. If I'm to respect you, it would be nice to get the same respect back. And hey, if this is all it took, instead of showing the show the respect it deserved,

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_00] then you've been looking for a way out, which just takes honesty, courage, and conversation. Thank you for your time. You talk about respect, yet you could not follow the only rule the show had. Can you please forward the Spotify details, how we upload it? The top commenter on this one just says, Say this, Hey, I thought about it and no, I won't be sharing any of the details on any of the things I was doing. I will however be making these texts public to anyone who listens to the show, so they know what a garbage can of a person you are, and they stop supporting you.

[00:30:37] [SPEAKER_00] Never contact me again. And there was many people on the back of this just suggesting what OP should do, some examples of changing the Spotify cover to the screenshots of what he was saying. Most people saying, you know, just don't hand over those details. Some people suggesting give over the details, but don't give nothing else. I'm guessing around just in case there's some legalities around it. But I think the overall consensus was, fuck that guy, right? Absolutely. What an arsehole. Holy moly. But firstly,

[00:31:06] [SPEAKER_00] just a huge sorry for your pet as well. That's incredibly sad that you had to go through that whilst dealing with this arsehole at the same time. And I'm super glad you did step back and told him the reason why as well. Even if he didn't listen, I'm glad you did tell him. But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time.

[00:31:35] [SPEAKER_00] It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care and much love.