I'm Refusing To Delete A Video Of His Proposal To His New Fiancee - He Doesn't Want My Mom To See It

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider? Then like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Aftersoil3386 from the Am I The Arsehole Here subreddit. And it says,

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00] Am I The Arsehole Here For Refusing To Delete The Video Of My Dad Proposing To His Girlfriend, Even Though My Dad Doesn't Want My Mom To See Slash Hear What He Said. My 15 Female Dad, 44 Male, Wanted My Help To Video His Proposal To His Girlfriend, 27 Female, Now Fiancee. It Was Saturday At A Park. My Dad Was In A Suit But That's Typical Of Him, Unless He's Going To The Beach Or Gym. If He's Going Out, He Wears A Suit.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00] He Was Doing His Part Well, Sitting On A Bench And Looking At His Phone, Making Things Seem Like A Typical Day. My Sister, 12 Female, Was There But She Didn't Know What My Dad Was Planning. After My Dad's Girlfriend Had Finished Jogging, I Did What My Dad Asked Me To Do. I Asked Her To Pose For A Picture Because This Would Make A Great Shot For Her Instagram. That Gave Me The Excuse To Start Videoing Her. When My Dad Walked Up To Her And Held Both Of Her Hands, She Started Crying. She Realized At That Moment What Was Going On.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_00] It's Typical For Her To Cry But My Dad Started Crying. I've Literally Never Seen My Dad Cry Before. Here Is Some Of What He Said That He Has Now Bothered That He Said. He Told Her That He Never Knew That He Could Love A Woman The Way He Loves Her. He Said That She's His Soulmate And His Life Partner. He Said She's The Most Beautiful Woman He's Ever Seen. He Said With Her, Me And My Sister, He Now Has Everything He's Always Wanted. When My Dad Tried To Get Down On One Knee, She Tried To Stop Him As She Was Saying Yes Several Times.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00] But He Still Went Down On One Knee To Propose With A Ring. She Said Yes. Later, My Dad Brought Everyone Home. His Fiance Was Napping. I Was Showing My Dad The Video And Was Cringing At Himself. He Said He Can't Let My Mom, 45 Female, See The Video. He Said Some Of The Things He Said Were Cruel To My Mom. That It Undermined Their Marriage. He Explained To Me Which Parts Of The Video He Thought Were Cruel. He Asked Me To Delete The Video.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00] My Dad's Fiance Is Very Sensitive, Very Sentimental, And Prone To Crying. If She Were To Hear That The Video Got Deleted, She Would Be Devastated. She Would Especially Be Devastated To Hear The Video Got Deleted Because My Dad Was Thinking Of My Mom's Feelings Over Her Feelings. I Told My Dad That When He And His Fiance Are In The Same Room, I Will Unlock My Phone And Hand It To Him And They Can Delete It Together. He Said We Have To Delete It Now And I Said No. I Told Him Clearly That I Wanted No Part In The Video Getting Deleted.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00] My Dad Looked Like He Wanted To Yell But He Stopped Himself. My Dad Looked Very Stressed. He Told Me To Go Take A Shower And Do My Homework. I Left Him As He Was Sitting Down, Hands Over His Face, Looking As If Someone Died. The Moment For Me To Hand My Phone To Them Hasn't Happened Yet. They Had Spent Yesterday Doing Post-Proposal Stuff. I Think My Dad Is Stalling. I Do Appreciate That My Dad Is So Concerned About My Mom's Feelings. I Understand That This Is A Tough Situation For Him.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00] I Don't Want Any Part Of His Fiancee's Unhappiness If The Video Gets Deleted. His Fiancee Is Already Intimidated By My Mom. If The Video Gets Deleted, He Could Forever Change The Relationship Between My Dad And His Fiancee. Am I The Arsehole? I Think Opie's Solution To This Is The Most Reasonable One. Because Opie's Been Put In The Middle Of This Which Isn't Fair At All. You're Not Deleting It Behind Anyone's Back And You're Not Going To Hide It Either. You're Letting Them Decide Together.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00] Because Ultimately, It Shouldn't Be On You To Protect Your Mom's Feelings Or Manage Your Dad's Guilt. That's His Responsibility. For Him To Put That On A 15 Year Old Shoulders Is Just Awful. The Commodore Says In Quotes That It Undermined Their Marriage And Says The Marriage That Ended In Divorce. How Would Your Mom Even See The Video Anyway? Not The Arsehole. Your Dad Probably Shouldn't Be Getting Married Again If He Is Still Worried What His Ex-Wife Is Going To Think About His Relationship With His New And Much Younger Fiancee.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00] Opie Says His Fiancee May Want To Post It To Social Media. But She Wouldn't If My Dad Asked Her Not To. She Has Always Been Respectful When My Dad Asked Her To Keep Things Private. The Commodore Says Not The Arsehole. Email Them The Video And Delete It Off Your Phone. It's Not Your Business What Happens To It Anymore. Opie Says I Should Have Done That In The First Place. Commodore Says You Still Can. Just Send It To Him Then Delete It From Your Phone And Tell Him You Did So. From There It's On Him To Decide What To Do And No Longer Your Responsibility.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00] Opie Says I Sent Both Of Them The Video. Made Sure To Message The Fiancee And Ask Her If She Downloaded The Video. I Asked Her To Make Sure The Video Didn't Get Corrupted. She Has The Video And The Video Is Fine. I Wanted No Room For Any Accident. I Deleted The Video Off My Phone. Opie Clarifies On The Relationship Between Her Parents And Says My Mom Is My Dad's Ex-Wife. My Mom And Dad Have Been Divorced For Six Years. Opie On Her Parents' Decision On Dating Other People After Their Divorce.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_00] Opie Says My Mom And Dad Had Made An Agreement To Ask The Other For Permission Before Bringing A New Partner Around Me And My Sister. My Dad Had Got On My Mom's Permission For The Now Fiancee, Then Girlfriend, To Be Around Me And My Sister. As You Can See By This Post, My Dad Takes My Mom's Opinions And Feelings Very Seriously. So My Mom Must Have Had A Good Vibe From The Then Girlfriend. The Commander Says, Did Your Parents Get Divorced Because Of Him Cheating And His Now Fiancee? Opie Says No. The Commander Says, No One Is An Asshole Here.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00] What The Fuck Is Wrong With The People In The Comments? From What It Seems In The Replies, The Family Loves The Fiancee And Dad Is Just Trying To Protect His Ex-Wife's Feelings. Of Course They Aren't Together Anymore But Considering They Were Married And Has Kids, Of Course It Would Hurt Her To Hear That Her Ex-Husband Is Saying These Things To His Current Wife In Spite If They Are Divorced Or Not. Especially Considering He Wasn't Sentimental In That Marriage. Opie, Your Dad Seems Like An Alright Guy. Just Wondering Why The Possibility Of Mom Seeing The Video Is Such A Concern. Does She Regularly Go Through Your Phone?

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_00] If That's The Case, Just Send Dad Slash Fiancee The Video And Delete It Off Your Phone. Also Don't Do The Whole Replace The Audio With Music. The Fiancee Cried Listening To What Your Dad Said And I Bet She Would Want To Keep The Video As Is. Yes, Your Dad Is Embarrassed But Anything Sappy Is Always Kind Of Cringe And That's A Part Of It. Unless There Is A Chance She Would Post A Video And Dad Doesn't Want To Tell Her Why She Shouldn't Post It With Audio. You Mentioned He Doesn't Want Fiancee To Think He's Prioritizing Ex-Wife. Don't Delete The Audio.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00] If Anything, Maybe You Could Ask Her Not To Post With Original Audio To Not Hurt Your Mom's Feelings. Opie Says, My Dad May Be A Little Too Cautious When It Comes To Devices That Are Connected To The Internet. He Doesn't See A Private Video On Her Phone As Being Truly Private. He Has Told Me Before In Other Situations To Not Have Any Video, Picture, Or Text On My Phone Unless I'm Comfortable With The World Seeing It. So, Opie Did Come In With An Update And Said Thank You Reddit For Your Advice. That Advice Helped Me To Quickly Solve My Problem, Then Shared The Original Link.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00] Let Me Clear Two Things Up Before The Update. People Think I, 15 Female, Was Prioritizing My Dad's Fiancee, 27 Female Over My Mom, 45 Female. I Looked At The Situation This Way, Who Is Going To Get Hurt More? Given The Personality And Situation Of Both Women, I Could Be Wrong, But I Think My Dad's Fiancee Would Be Far, Far, Far More Hurt If The Video Got Deleted Than If My Mom Saw The Video. I Don't Think It's Even Close.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00] My Dad's Fiancee Would Be Devastated If The Video Got Deleted And The Reason For Its Deletion Is My Dad, 44 Male, Was Prioritizing My Mom Over His Fiancee. Plus, I Think Of Which Choice Would Hurt My Dad More? His Life Would Be Worse If The Video Got Deleted Than If My Mom Saw The Video. The Second Thing, The Age Thing. I Didn't Like My Dad's Fiancee, Then Girlfriend At First. Not Only Is She Young, She Seemed Like An Irresponsible, Unstable Airhead. There Were Other People Judging, But People Have Changed Their Minds.

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00] My Dad And His Fiancee Fit Together. They Make Each Other Better. They Increase Each Other's Pros And Decrease Each Other's Cons. Plus, I Don't Know Anyone Expects Me To Do About Their Relationship. The Update. The Genius Idea Of Just Sending Both My Dad And His Fiancee The Proposal Video And Deleting Off My Phone Worked. My Dad Was Basically Backed Into A Corner. He Had To Talk To His Fiancee Right Away As She Could Have Posted The Video To Social Media. Today, My Dad's Fiancee Quickly Gave Me A Hug. She Was Thanking Me For What I Did.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_00] She Told Me She Knows That My Dad Wanted Me To Delete The Video Because He Didn't Want My Mom To Get Her Feelings Heard About What He Said. My Dad's Fiancee Said The Video Is Just For Her, My Dad And Me. My Dad's Fiancee Promised To Never Post It To Social Media. My Dad's Fiancee Even Said She'S Not Gonna Show It To Her Own Family Members Or Even Acknowledge That The Video Exists. When I Saw My Dad, He Seemed Happy Or At Least His Calm, Nonchalant Version Of Happy. I Talked To My Mom On A Video Call, Even Though It Wasn't The Main Topic.

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_00] She Had Mentioned That She Knows That My Dad And My Dad's Fiancee Are Now Engaged. She Asked Me How I Felt About It And I Said I'M Good. I Asked Her How She Feels About It And She Said She Feels Weird About It. She Said Some Stuff About It Including A Joke That She Hopes My Dad's Fiancee Doesn'T Ask Her To Be Made Of Honor. Next Weekend Will Be The Beginning Of My Week With My Mom So I Get A Better Sense Of How She'S Doing Then. I Have Some Emotions At The Moment But Things Are Mostly Positive. A Commenter Says This Is Far Too Reasonable Of An Update For Reddit.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00] You Did Good. Your Dad's Sympathies Are Understandable. But Your Mom Can Manage Your Own Feelings. Next Update Better Include Your Mom's New Boyfriend Being The Ex Of Your Dad's Fiancee. That'S Far More Reddit Appropriate. Slash Sarcasm. I Hope He Says If My Dad Insisted That He And His Fiancee Deleted The Video, This Would Have Been A Very Different Update. I don't Know If I Would Have Even Updated If That Happened Because It Would Have Been Too Sad And Chaotic. The Commenter Says Nah,

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00] Your Dad Just Had A Moment Worried About Someone Whom He Shared A Part Of His Life With And Is Still A Parent With. It Was An Understandable But Misguided Concern. I Hope He Says It Does Feel Good Knowing My Divorced Parents Care About Each Other That Much. I Can Picture My Mom Considering Something Like That If The Shoe Were On The Other Foot. The Commenter Says You Sound Like A Great Kid. Good Job. Your Dad's Fiancee Also Sounds Level Headed. So Hopefully Everything Works Out Well All Around.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_00] Hope He Said My Dad's Fiancee Had Gotten Level Headed Over Time Since Being With My Dad. But Even So She Actually Surprised Me How Well She Responded To Hearing That My Dad Wanted The Proposal Video Deleted To Protect My Mom's Feelings. Even With Her Progress, I Wouldn'T Have Even Been Shocked If My Dad's Fiancee Got Incredibly Jealous Of My Mom And Wondered If My Dad Had Romantic Feelings For My Mom. But My Dad's Fiancee Seemed To Understand The Situation Perfectly. That My Dad Can Still Care About My Mom Without Romantic Feelings. The Commenter Says This Update Makes Me So Happy To Read.

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00] First Of All Your Parents Have Raised An Amazing Young Woman And I Hope They Are Proud Of You As They Should Be. I Understand Where Your Dad Was Coming From. And I Actually Do Think It Speaks Highly Of His Character Not Wanting To Hurt Your Mom. Your Father's Fiancee Just Based On Your Description Of Her Actions And Reactions Here Sounds Like A Lovely Woman Too. You Helped Her Save A Special Moment She's Going To Cherish For The Rest Of Her Life. Your Mom's Feelings Are Not Your Responsibility. I Completely Understand Why She Feels Weird About It All. It Can Be Hard Seeing Someone Who You Shared Your Life With Having A New Life With Someone Else.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00] My Mom And Dad Are Divorced. I Have Been Since I Was Little. They Are Best Friends And My Mom Loves My Dad's New They've Been Together 20 Years Married For Nine Wife. My Mom Was Even At Their Wedding. And While She Is So Happy For Them Both, She Said Even After All This Time It Still Felt Weird Seeing Him Marrying Someone Else. Your Mom Is Handling It. Her Feelings Are Hers To Deal With. Either With Adult Girlfriends Or A Therapist. You've Done All You Could To Protect Her. I Hope You Said I'll Try Not To Take Too Much Of My Head.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00] I Have To Remember That I'm Not An Adult Yet. I Can Guarantee My Mom Will Be Invited To Their Wedding. There Was Even A Chance My Dad's Fiance Would Ask My Mom To Be A Maid Of Honor Or A Bridesmaid. My Mom's Joke About That Is Funnier Because It's A Real Possibility. The Commenter Says I Don't Understand Dad Here. He Planned The Proposal, The Video And Presumably The Speech. I Planned To Record It All If He Wanted To Delete It Anyway. I Hope He Says He Didn't Say What He Had Planned To Say. The Commenter Says You Are Definitely Prioritizing Your Dad's Fiance.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_00] Over Your Mom Which Is Extremely Sad. For Your Mom Obviously. I'm Sure You Could Care Less. Makes Me Wonder If Your Dad Cheated On Your Mom But Why Would You Care? Opie Says My Dad Didn't Cheat On My Mom. It Was The Other Way Around But They Didn't Make A Big Deal Out Of It. I Thought Opie Sounded Really Level Headed For A 15 Year Old Throughout This Whole Story. Really Balanced And In That Last Comment Coming In Accusing Her Of Prioritizing The Fiance. And Say Implying She Doesn't Care About Her Mom. And Even Throwing In A Cheating Speculation.

[00:12:44] [SPEAKER_00] I Mean What The Fuck. She Wasn't Prioritizing Anyone. She Was Just Trying To Minimize The Harm In A Situation Her Dad Created. And That's Not The Same Thing. Bloody Hell. But What Do You Guys Make Of This Situation? Let Us Know Your Thoughts Down In The Comments Below. And Let's Move On To Another Story. Now Our Next Story Comes From Baptism Throw Away 2 And Says Family Wants To Have My Son Baptized. I'm An Atheist.

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_00] Basically The Title Says It All But I'll Give A Bit Of Backstory. My Husband 32 Male And I 30 Female Have Been Married For Two Years And Just Welcomed Our First Son Jay Into Our Lives Nine Months Ago. I Was Raised Christian And Have Since Renounced Organized Religion. My Husband Was Raised Catholic But Very Open Minded. We've Always Been Open And Respectful Of Each Other's Beliefs. And Had A Very Non-Traditional Wedding Outdoors. With A Mutual Friend To Officiate.

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_00] While I Was Pregnant We Discussed The Idea Of Baptism. And I Firmly Expressed That I Have No Desire To Have My Child Dedicated To Any Religion. It Opened A Good Discussion Between Us. And While He Was Supportive. He Knew That This Would Be A Sore Spot With His Mother's 50s. Who Is A Very Devout Catholic. Since We Had A Million Other Things To Worry About As New Parents. We Basically Left It At. But We Cross That Bridge When We Get To It. Well Now That Bridge Is Here. And Both Our Families Are Getting Frustrated.

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_00] My Mother-In-Law Is Continually Asking Us When Will We Be Taking Jay In. And Has Even Had A Priest Call Us To Set Up A Date. I Was So Shocked. I Just Told Him We Would Get Back To Him. She Is Blatantly Setting This Up Behind My Back. I Was So Upset That I Called My Mother For Help. I Explained To Her That This Is Not Something I Want For Jay. It Is Not For Me To Decide His Spiritual Journey. And I Am Not Going To Dedicate Him To A Religion That I Do Not Plan To Raise Him In. That Would Make Me A Liar. Not Just To The Family But To The Entire Church.

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_00] After A Bit Of An Argument She Told Me To Just Do It To Make Her Happy. It Is Only An Hour Of Your Life. Can'T You Just Suck It Up. I Was So Upset. I Hung Up On Her. I Couldn'T Believe That She Would Just Dismiss My Beliefs Like That. I Mainly Wanted To Write This Post For My Own Sanity. Am I Overreacting? I Feel Like My Family Isn't Listening To My Wishes. While I Want To Be Respectful Of Their Beliefs, This Is Something That I Feel Very Strongly About. As His Mother, Don'T I Have The Final Say In This?

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_00] Or Is My Crazy Post-Preggo Brain Just Turning This Into Something Bigger Than It Is? Please Read It. Help. Help. The Comment About Just Doing It To Make Her Happy And You Know Is Only An Hour Of Your Life Is Pretty Wild Because They Are Asking To Participate In A Religious Ritual That You Don'T Believe In For A Child You Explicitly Don'T Want Raised In That Religion. That'S Wild In Itself. But A Commenter Says To Upset. I Think You Should Talk To The Priest About This.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_00] I Can'T See Him Baptizing Your Son If You Say You Have No Desire To Raise Him Catholic. Then You, Your Husband And The Priest Can Tackle Your Mother-In-Law Together. Upset says, Thanks. I Never Considered Coming To The Priest For Help. I Just Figured He'd Try To Talk Me Into It Too. But You Have A Good Point. Little Orange Monkey Says It Depends On The Priest. My In-Laws Are Catholic And I Was Raised Lutheran. I Am Not Allowed To Take Communion In The Rare Instances I Attend Mass Because I'm Not Catholic.

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00] And Their Priest Is Adomant About Non-Catholics Not Participating In Rituals If You Are Not Part Of The Church. There Are Other Priests Who Are Not As Hardcore But Would Sympathize With You And Also Not Want You To Do Something If You Are Not Going To Take It Seriously. And So Would Help Convince Your Mother-In-Law That It's Not Okay To Badge You Into It. You Might Get A Priest Who Would Try To Talk You Into It. But In Most Cases If You Explain That You Are An Atheist And Have No Intention Of Following Any Religion, They May Not Want To Baptize Anyway. It's Something To Consider. Another Commenter Says,

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_00] Tell Her Your Son Will Decide His Own Spiritual Journey. He Can Choose To Be Baptized If He Wishes When He Is Older. Put Your Foot Down And Tell Her You Won't Be Discussing It Any Further. Do You Think She Will Go Behind Your Back And Try To Baptize Him Anyway? Opie Says As Upset As She Might Be, I Know She Wouldn't Go Ahead And Have Him Baptized Behind My Back. We Typically Have A Very Honest And Open Line Of Communication And That Would Be A Huge Breach Of Trust That Neither My Husband Nor I Would Ever Forgive. She's Well Aware Of That. Opie Adds A Mini Update And Says,

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00] I'm Just Leaving Work And I'm Meeting With My Mother-In-Law's Priest In About An Hour. I'll Try To Post An Update Either Later Today Or Tomorrow. So It Was Two Days After This That Opie Did Return With Her Update And Says, Okay, So A Lot Has Happened Between Yesterday Afternoon And This Morning. My Husband, 32 Male And I, 30 Female, Met With My Mother-In-Law's Priest Yesterday Afternoon. And I Explained To Him My Concerns And Reservations About Having My Son Baptized Catholic. Surprisingly, He Was Very Understanding About It.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_00] He Agreed That Asking Me To Lie In Front Of Our Family And Friends Was Much Against His Moral Code As It Is Mine. The Only Reason He Called In The First Place Was Because He Was Under The Assumption That We Were Interested In Having Him Dedicated In That Church. Like My Husband's Cousin Who Also Had A Son A Few Months Before Me. My Mother-In-Law Just Mentioned It To Him. I Jumped The Gun On Thinking That She Was Planning Something Behind My Back. We Talked About Doing Some Other Blessing And Dedication Thing. And I Think That's The Route We're Going To Take. I Called My Mother-In-Law When We Got Home.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00] And We Had A Very Lengthy Discussion About Religion And What It Means To Both Of Us. We Were Both Calm, Composed, And Really Tried To See Things From Each Other's Perspectives. She Made The Argument That If Something Were To Happen To Jay, How Would We Know If He Would Go To Heaven? I Made The Point That I Feel That Any Type Of God Would Send Innocent Children To Hell Is Not Someone That Should Be Worshipped. She Told Me That Made A Good Point, But I Still Couldn't Change Her Beliefs. That's Fine, I'm Not Asking Her To. In The End We Settled On A Compromise.

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_00] Jay's First Birthday Is In A Couple Of Months So Before The Party We Will Have A Small Blessing Ceremony At The Church. Just Immediate Family And His Godparents. She Wouldn't Budge On The Need To Name Godparents For Him But They Will Be Mainly For Legal Purposes Should Anything Happens To My Husband To Me. There Will Be No Commitment On Any Of Us To Raise Him In The Church. The Priest Was More Than Happy To Do That For Us. And My Mother-In-Law Was Content With This Decision. We Did Tell Her That If Jay Decides To Be Baptized In The Future, She Is More Than Welcome To Throw A Party For Him. So In The End, It's All Going To Work Out.

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_00] Thank You Everyone For Your Stories And Advice. An Update For Clarity. When My Mother-In-Law Said That She Wouldn't Budge On The Need To Choose Godparents, She Was Mostly Worried That We Wouldn't Have Anyone Lined Up To Legally Take Care Of Our Son If Anything Happens To My Husband And I. When I Told Her We Did And It Was In Our Wills, She Was Much More Calm About The Whole Thing. The Fact That They Would Be Called His Godparents Is Just To Make Her Happy And Lessen Any Confusion. I Know In Most Cases A Child's Godparents Would Not Legally Become Their Guardians. In My Son's Case, They Would. Hope That Helps.

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_00] And On The Back Of This, A Lot Of People Were Saying That Was A Good Compromise And Glad That They Was Able To Work It Out. Other People Saying That It Wasn't A Good Compromise In The End And Mother-In-Law Seem To Be Crossing Some Kind Of Boundaries. But What Do You Guys Make Of This Situation? Let Us Know Your Thoughts Down In The Comments Below And Let's Move On To Another Story. Now Our Next Story Comes From CatRobber27 From The AmITheArsehole Subreddit And Says AmITheArsehole For Stealing My Cat Back

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_00] I'm Sorry If This Is Poorly Written. My Friend Suggests That I Post On Here And I'm On My Phone. For Context, I, 26 Female, Adopted My Cat Toby About 7 Years Ago And I Love Him To Pieces. I Moved In With My Sister, 31 Female, And Her Family, Brother-in-Law And Daughter, 6 Female, Between Finishing Law School, Taking The Bar And Moving To Another State For My Job. I Contributed To Utilities And Groceries, Cleaned Up After Myself And For Everyone Occasionally And Took Care Of My Cat.

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_00] The Plan Was Always To Stay From May 20th To August 5th. It's Been An Overall Great Time. I Spent A Lot Of Time With My Sister, Brother-in-Law And Little Niece Through The Last 7 Years As They Live In The Same City As My Undergrad Slash Law School. We Get Along Great And My Niece Is Wonderful. She Is My Sister's Rainbow Baby Which Has Led Her To Be A Little Coddled Through The Years. The Issue, My Niece Is Taking Quite A Liking To My Cat. He's A Very Friendly Cat And Loves Pets, Cuddles, Etc.

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_00] The Other Day We Were All Eating Dinner Together And My Niece Was Talking About How Much She Loves Toby. I Didn't Think Much Of It So While Helping My Sister With Dishes, Said, Cats Are Wonderful. Maybe You Should Consider Adopting One. She Made A Strange Face And Said, What Do You Mean? We Have Toby. I Explained To Her That I Meant After I Move Out In The Next Two Weeks. My Niece Came To The Kitchen Holding Toby During This Conflict. My Sister Said, She Loves Him Too Much. You Are Going To Take A Child's Cat.

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_00] I Was Extremely Upset By This Conversation But Kept Cool And Said, Well, Toby's My Cat. I Was Never Intending To Leave Him Here. My Niece Instantly Started Sobbing, Calling Me A Cat Robber, And Saying That No Cat Will Be Like Toby Because Toby Is Hers And He Loves Her. I Kind Of Just Grabbed Toby And Went To My Room. This Was A Week Ago. And I've Received Texts And Calls From My Sister, My Mom And Brother-In-Law Saying, I'm Being Childish Towards A Child. I Suggest That I Go With Them And Adopt A Cat.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_00] But Everyone Insists On Letting My Niece Keep Toby And Telling Me To Get A New Cat. I Put My Foot Down And Stated That There's No World In Which That Will Happen, To Which I'm Being Called An Arsehole. This Whole Situation Is Driving Me Nuts. My Friend Group And Boyfriend Are On My Side But My Best Friend Said, She Would Just Make Peace So I Don't Lose My Actual Family With A Cat. But Toby Is My Family. So In The Comments, Someone Said, Not The Arsehole, Suggest Taking The Niece With You So She Can Live With A Cat.

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_00] Your Sister Can Get Another Child. Toby Says, This Comment Made Me Laugh, But Sis, I Really Like This Kid. Can I Just Have Her? Win Win. Commenter Says, That's Some Serious Boundary Stomping. Manipulative Bullshit. Toby Said, This Morning My Niece Came Running To Me And Gave Me A Hug Because She Had A Dream. I Said Yes To Her Keeping Toby. I Flat Out Said, That's All It Was, A Dream. My Sister Said, I Was Being Unreasonable And Should Consider At Least Leaving Toby Until School Year Starts In September.

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_00] That's Also Not Going To Happen. The Commodore Says, Not The Arsehole, You Aren't Stealing Your Cat. It's Up To Her Parents To Manage This In A Healthy Manner. You've Been With The Cat For Years. No One In Your Family Is Considering That Your Cat Might Miss You. Your Niece Will Be Sad And That's To Be Expected. Kids Need To Learn That Not Everything Will Always Go Their Way. Besides, I Guarantee If They Adopt A Kitten, She'll Not Miss Your Cat. Opie Said, She Said She Doesn't Want To Deal With A Cat That Might Not Be As Tame As Him. Toby's Very Calm And Patient.

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_00] Who's Also De-Clawed When I Got Him. Not By Me. She Is Like, A New Cat Will Tear Up Furniture. And What If It Bites Sad And Scratches My Baby? The Commodore Says, Not The Arsehole, This Is Insane. Does Your Sister Ever Tell Her Daughter She Can't Have Things? Because This Is No Way To Start Developing A Healthy, Mature Person. Opie Says, Not Really. She'd Been Taught To Just Ask Nicely Because People Award Kindness. Opie Then Added Some Additional Details In The Comment Saying, My Mother Is Trying To Keep The Peace,

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_00] As We've Never Had A Huge Dispute Before. She Said, I'd Understand One Day When I Have Kids Of My Own. My Niece Was Pretty Sick When She Was Born. She's Fine Now. And Being The First Grandchild, Everyone Gives Her What She Wants. Opie Also Says, She Claims I Didn't Tell Them I Would Leave The Cat. Well, I Didn't. I Figured It Was A Given Since He's Mine. Opie Says, Thank You. I Do Want To Clarify Toby Is Declared In His Front Paws. However, I Did Not Do This To Him Or Condone It. I Adopted Him From A Shelter And He Was Already Declared.

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_00] I Didn't Even Realize For A Solid Week Because It Never Crossed My Mind. Opie Also Says, I'm Sad That My Niece Is Upset. It's Obvious She Hasn't Been Taught, No. But My Cat Is My Best Friend. He Takes Priority And I Would Never Give Him Up Just Because Someone Asked. So At Some Point Later, Opie Does Return With An Update And Says, Thank You All For Your Overwhelming Support. I Truly Thought I Was Going Crazy. I Take The Bar Exam On Tuesday To Wednesday.

[00:24:36] [SPEAKER_00] Luckily All This Drama Came Pretty Late In The Game So It Didn't Interfere Much. But This Is Unnecessary Stress. I End Up Finding A Pet Friendly Hotel Near My Testing Center And Booking It. I Also Got A U-Haul And Had Friends Come Over And Put My Stuff In There. I Had Already Packed Most Of The Stuff So It Didn't Take Long. I'm Gonna Stay In The Hotel And Then Head To My New Apartment On Thursday. I Moved Up My Lease. Leaving Was A Shit Show With My Niece Sobbing Uncontrollably. My Niece Saying Something Along The Lines Of Me Being Unreasonable And Cruel.

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_00] My Niece Tried To Grab Toby's Carrier Out Of My Hands At One Point. To Which My Friend Told Her, I Wouldn't Do That If I Were You. And Back The Hell Up. And I Left. My Sister Called Me A Bit Ago And I Picked Up. Dumb Move. She First Said Our Mum Called Her After Hearing The Situation Forced Me Out Of A House Before My Exam. Mum Had Called Me For An Update, Apologized Profusely, And Called Me Childish For Snitching. She Then Said That She Took Her Daughter To The Animal Shelter But None Of Them Were Toby.

[00:25:33] [SPEAKER_00] But Also Mentioned She Refused Any Cat That Wasn't DeClawed. She Went On To Say That I'm Lucky She Doesn't Charge My Friend With Assault. My Friend Did Not Touch Her. I Wished Her Luck With That. She Ended By Calling Me Cruel And To Expect A Cleaning Bill Since She Needs The House Deep Cleamed After An Animal There. I Told Her To Grow The Hell Up And Blocked Her. Any Further Communication With Her Will Be Post Bar Problem. Toby And Me Are Happily In The Hotel With My Piles Of Flashcards. Thanks Again Everyone.

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_00] ETA For The Suggestions To Get A Cat For My Niece. I Suggested To Go Look For Cats With Them. I Just Don't Think They Can Even Handle A Cat Without Someone, Me, Doing All The Unfun Stuff Like Litter And Feeding. I Wouldn't Want To Subject Another Cat To An Unsafe Environment. We Will See. But Toby And I Are Happily Away Now. The Commodore Says The Audacity Of Trying Not On Someone Who Is Studying For The Bar. One Topic You'll Definitely Not Forget. I Hope He Says No Kidding. Not To Mention She Knows My Boyfriend Is A Criminal Law Attorney.

[00:26:31] [SPEAKER_00] Another Commodore Says Of Course Not The Arsehole. So Please Give Us An Update Later On. Toby Says I Posted An Update. Toby And I Are Safe And Happy. Little Guy Has No Idea What Happened But Couldn't Care Less. Standard Cat. Commodore Says You're A Good Cat Parent. You Should Totally Post Some Toby Pics. I'd Love To See Him. He Sounds So Cute. Toby Says I Haven't Posted Cat Tax Photos To Keep From Anonymity. But He's An Orange Tabby Who Rocks A Green Bowtie Collar With A Tag That Says I'm Toby I May Have Lost My Human.

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_00] And On The Back Of This One People Just Talking About The Niece And Later On In Life When She Hasn't Learned What No Means And She Will Continue With This Kind Of Like Entitled Kind Of Behavior With The Parents Enabling It Which Is Really Sad. But At The Same Time Glad That Opie Got Out Of There With Toby As Well. But What Do You Guys Make Of This Situation? Let Us Know Your Thoughts Down In The Comments Below. And Just A Huge Thank You For Being Here Today. Getting Involved In The Stories, Your Love, The Support, Your Time.

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_00] It Always Means The Absolute World To Me. So Thank You So So Much And Hopefully See You In The Next One. Take Care. Much Love.