I Want To Kick Out Wife's Friend Who's Living With Us When Husband Kicked Her Out r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:19] Now today's first story comes from differentecho2998 from the am I the arsehole here subreddit, has multiple updates on it. And it's titled, Am I the arsehole for telling my wife to kick out her friend who's been living with us for the past month after her husband kicked her out?

[00:00:37] My male 45 wife's friend, Zelle, female 32, has been living with us for the past month after a marriage imploded about a month ago.

[00:00:47] Zelle came to our country about three years ago on a work visa. She was working for a company and met my wife Molly, female 43, at a work event. Molly and Zelle became quick friends as Molly used to do social work. And she found Zelle's story to be very moving and interesting.

[00:01:04] Zelle started dating this guy, I'll call Ed, male 35, who had recently launched a company in her field. She left her original job and started working for Ed. And not long after that, they got married.

[00:01:17] Zelle's job became pretty cushy. So instead of working, she went back to college to pursue a career in social work. And since Molly had experience in this, she became a sort of mentor for Zelle.

[00:01:30] With Ed funding Zelle's education and living expenses, it seemed like everything was set for her. Fast forward to mid-August and Ed found out Zelle had been cheating on him for several weeks with one of her classmates.

[00:01:43] Ed immediately cut funding for Zelle's education and kicked her out of his house. The prenup Ed had her sign left her with absolutely nothing, effectively making her penniless and homeless.

[00:01:55] On top of that, Ed has spread the story across their community. And as such, Zelle's reputation is in tatters. And her family back in their home country wants nothing to do with her. Supposedly.

[00:02:07] The divorce hasn't been finalized at the time of this writing. With the resources he has, I imagine Ed could speed up the process. But for whatever reason, it's dragging on.

[00:02:17] With seemingly no one to turn to, Zelle came to us. And Molly welcomed her one day while I was at work.

[00:02:24] Since then, she's been living in our basement. Molly spends a lot of time now just talking to Zelle and trying to help her get her life back on track.

[00:02:32] So much so that it's starting to affect our personal lives. And I feel like childcare has been made exclusively my responsibility for most of the week.

[00:02:41] Not only that, but since our gym equipment is in the basement, I had to stop working out. Which has adversely affected my own mental health.

[00:02:49] I've been very annoyed about the entire situation, but I've largely bought it in silence until last night.

[00:02:55] Right before bed, Molly started going on about how the divorce could take months and that we need to find Zelle a lawyer.

[00:03:02] At this stage, I told her that Zelle has overstayed her welcome and needed to leave.

[00:03:06] It got pretty heated and my wife said I was being shockingly unempathetic.

[00:03:11] I told her she was ignoring her responsibilities to our children, which deeply offended her.

[00:03:17] In the end, I told her that as a compromise, we could buy Zelle a plane ticket back to her home country so she could be with her family.

[00:03:24] Molly was so upset at this for whatever reason and just responded with,

[00:03:28] Good night.

[00:03:29] And we haven't spoken since then.

[00:03:31] Partially because I decided to go work in my office today since I needed a break from Molly's nonsense.

[00:03:36] I honestly don't know what to do at this stage.

[00:03:39] I just want that woman out of my home.

[00:03:42] Am I the arsehole?

[00:03:46] OP gave their first little update within the same post so we cover that first which says,

[00:03:50] Update 15 hours later and I still haven't really spoken to my wife.

[00:03:55] Partially because I was at work all day, but also because I was hoping she'd reach out first.

[00:04:00] When I got home, Zelle was still hanging around like nothing happened.

[00:04:03] Though I guess expecting her to magically leave would be asking for too much.

[00:04:08] Before the day is done, I'll talk to my wife about our situation again because it needs to end.

[00:04:13] Also for those wondering, the classmate won't have her either.

[00:04:17] According to my wife, he told Zelle that his personal life would be destroyed if he tried pursuing anything with her.

[00:04:22] So he ended things abruptly.

[00:04:24] To my understanding, he has a wife who doesn't even know he cheated.

[00:04:29] I found this bizarre from the very beginning that the wife moved in this, you know, cheetah.

[00:04:35] Without discussing it with the husband at all.

[00:04:39] Like from the very beginning, just moved her in.

[00:04:41] No discussion, nothing from what I'm reading here.

[00:04:44] Taking over a place that's important to you, your gym.

[00:04:48] She's also neglecting your children in favor of Zelle.

[00:04:52] You know, a cheetah.

[00:04:54] And talking to the point where you're having to start using your money to bail her out of the situation by getting her a lawyer as well.

[00:05:01] And I think he was more than reasonable about offering to buy that plane ticket to get her back to her family.

[00:05:08] I suspect there's more information around that as well.

[00:05:11] That Molly seems to know she was upset, you said, for whatever reason.

[00:05:15] It may be just because you're sending her home, but there might be more to it as well.

[00:05:18] Well, but absolutely not.

[00:05:20] I wouldn't be happy with this situation either.

[00:05:22] But Perky says, not the arsehole.

[00:05:24] Zelle overstayed her welcome.

[00:05:26] It's reasonable to prioritize your family's well-being and ask her to find other accommodations.

[00:05:32] King in my mind says it's not even that they're sacrificing their well-being for someone else.

[00:05:36] But they're doing it for someone who did this to herself.

[00:05:39] Don't cheat on the goose that lays the golden eggs.

[00:05:43] Zelle needs to accept the free ride is over and get a real job.

[00:05:46] I'm betting she hasn't considered how entitled she felt to cheat on her husband.

[00:05:51] Rex Master says, plus the way it reads, Molly didn't even talk to OP about letting Zelle move in.

[00:05:57] She was just there one day when he got home from work.

[00:06:00] If my SO did that, there would have been words that day.

[00:06:03] I didn't read anything where Zelle is paying rent to OP slash Molly.

[00:06:07] So this creates another situation.

[00:06:10] She was living off her husband.

[00:06:11] Now she's taking advantage of Molly's kindness.

[00:06:14] Does she really expect to stay there indefinitely?

[00:06:17] This is not reasonable in any situation.

[00:06:20] I Wanna Be says, not the arsehole.

[00:06:22] Wife is putting a martyr complex ahead of her own family.

[00:06:26] Zelle ruined her own life.

[00:06:27] Lending her stay any length of time is incredibly generous.

[00:06:31] Paying for her to fly home to her family is beyond what most people would even consider.

[00:06:35] Make it clear to your wife that you're disappointed that she's putting a cheater ahead of her own family.

[00:06:42] So sometime after that post, OP comes in with another update and says,

[00:06:46] I haven't had the chance to update my post because the last few days have been particularly hectic for the family.

[00:06:52] To sum things up, I did reach out to Molly on Sunday.

[00:06:55] And we managed to patch things up.

[00:06:57] Since we hadn't spoken for more than a day at that point,

[00:07:00] I decided not to push the Zelle issue any further right then.

[00:07:04] Fast forward to early Monday morning and we get a call from Molly's sister.

[00:07:08] Apparently their father had a serious fall in the bathroom during the night

[00:07:11] and the whole family is flying out to check in on him.

[00:07:14] Molly booked her flight soon after the news and left yesterday.

[00:07:18] Tuesday slash 24th.

[00:07:20] She hasn't booked a return yet, but I'm guessing she'll be gone 10 to 15 days,

[00:07:25] depending on the severity of her father's injuries.

[00:07:28] In the meantime, I've been totally swamped with work and taking care of the kids,

[00:07:31] but Zelle has offered to help out where she can.

[00:07:34] This morning, she made breakfast for all of us and even packed lunches for me and the kids.

[00:07:39] So I don't really have any complaints at the moment.

[00:07:42] Last night, she did some laundry and straightened up the living room and playroom as well.

[00:07:46] So far, I'm pleasantly impressed and figure I'll keep my mouth shut for now,

[00:07:50] depending on how things go from here.

[00:07:53] Edit.

[00:07:54] After reading a few comments, I'd like to assure everyone

[00:07:56] that it's extremely unlikely that Zelle will try anything suggestive.

[00:07:59] To be totally honest, I've always got the sense that she felt like I didn't like her much.

[00:08:04] In the time she's been here, we've probably only spoken 10 to 12 times,

[00:08:07] and about half of those were just in the past 24 hours, given the current circumstances.

[00:08:13] If she wants to make herself useful, I won't stop her.

[00:08:16] That being said, several of my women co-workers have expressed their disbelief and disappointment

[00:08:21] in how Molly departed so suddenly,

[00:08:23] and what even suggested that I do not eat food prepared by Zelle.

[00:08:27] Moreover, two of the older ladies have even offered to make food for myself and the children,

[00:08:31] but I declined.

[00:08:32] The way I see it, if Zelle is useful when I actually need help,

[00:08:36] I won't complain despite the protests of some of my co-workers.

[00:08:40] Molly and I have been paying for all of her living expenses.

[00:08:43] This is the least she can do.

[00:08:45] Oh dear, oh dearie me.

[00:08:48] Purpose no says,

[00:08:49] So your wife welcomed a cheater into your house,

[00:08:51] then left her with you for 10 to 15 days when she goes overseas.

[00:08:55] Your wife is a bit naive.

[00:08:57] Make sure you keep your boundaries with Zelle clear,

[00:08:59] and keep your communications with Molly.

[00:09:01] No mechanic says,

[00:09:03] Time for security cameras in the house.

[00:09:06] Jack of all straight says,

[00:09:07] Who did Zelle pay to push Molly's father?

[00:09:10] Eternally says,

[00:09:11] She flew over there and greased the floors overnight.

[00:09:14] OP's next update says,

[00:09:16] It's been a week since Molly departed.

[00:09:18] So I thought it'd be a good time to provide a brief update on our situation.

[00:09:22] Molly's father broke his foot when he fell in the bathroom.

[00:09:25] Fortunately, the injury isn't too severe,

[00:09:27] and the doctors expect him to recover within about eight weeks.

[00:09:30] The greater concern at the time was the cut on his lip,

[00:09:33] which caused pretty significant bleeding and understandably led to all the panic,

[00:09:37] especially for Molly's mother,

[00:09:39] who found him on the floor.

[00:09:41] I spoke with him a few times over the phone,

[00:09:43] and he seemed to be in good spirits.

[00:09:45] For a man turning 88 this November,

[00:09:47] he's spry for his age and pretty active,

[00:09:50] so I'm hopeful for his full recovery.

[00:09:52] Molly and I have also had several conversations.

[00:09:55] While she initially intended to stay longer to help her parents adjust,

[00:09:59] her mother has been adamant that she return home.

[00:10:01] In fact, her mother even expressed some frustration

[00:10:04] over how abruptly Molly left,

[00:10:06] and suggested that I should have been the one to go instead.

[00:10:08] It's something Molly wants to talk about in person.

[00:10:12] Molly's return flight is scheduled for October 10th.

[00:10:15] At home, things have been really shaken up by Molly's absence.

[00:10:19] To be honest, this entire ordeal has made me more appreciative of all she does.

[00:10:23] On the plus side, I've been getting to spend much of my time with my two little girls,

[00:10:27] and this past weekend, I've learned how to braid their hair.

[00:10:30] Though I admit, I'm still not very good.

[00:10:33] Zell has continued to be very helpful around the house.

[00:10:36] She's an extraordinary cook,

[00:10:38] and every day we are treated to something new for supper.

[00:10:41] The ingredients she needs are expensive,

[00:10:43] but given the quality of the food and how much the girls and I enjoy it,

[00:10:47] I'm not complaining.

[00:10:48] Zell asked to use the gym equipment we have in the basement,

[00:10:51] and I agreed.

[00:10:52] This led to a conversation about how I used to work out down there,

[00:10:55] and she offered to occupy one of the other rooms during my exercise time.

[00:10:59] However, I've been mainly coordinating my workouts with

[00:11:02] when she's doing something else as to not disturb her.

[00:11:05] Zell has also asked me to look over a few resumes

[00:11:08] she's been sending out to different job openings,

[00:11:10] and I've gone over them and given her suggestions on how to improve them.

[00:11:14] I don't anticipate the coming days will bring anything too exciting,

[00:11:17] but I'll be sure to share another update if anything else noteworthy arises.

[00:11:22] And we have another update in a moment,

[00:11:24] but Veloxiraptor says,

[00:11:26] Well, this seems more suspicious than a white van with free candy painted on it.

[00:11:30] So Mark replies saying,

[00:11:31] Driven by a clown.

[00:11:32] Velox replies saying,

[00:11:34] It's going to be another art room situation.

[00:11:36] Oh no, not the art room.

[00:11:39] But sometime later,

[00:11:40] Opie comes in with another update and says,

[00:11:43] I regret to disappoint those eagerly awaiting scandal.

[00:11:46] But Zell and I behaved entirely appropriately during Molly's absence.

[00:11:50] Yes, I managed to rise above the incredibly low bar of not betraying my marriage in the few days Molly was away.

[00:11:56] I feel like I deserve a medal for such extraordinary restraint.

[00:12:01] Now on to the boring update.

[00:12:03] The remaining days before Molly's return continued as per the new normal.

[00:12:08] Zell continued being helpful and attended two different job interviews,

[00:12:11] and got one acceptance.

[00:12:13] Molly returned in the early hours of October 10th,

[00:12:15] and things have been going well for the past few days.

[00:12:19] I didn't bring up the fact that Zell is still living with us for two reasons.

[00:12:22] Molly is still pretty concerned about her father,

[00:12:25] and Zell has been very helpful during her absence.

[00:12:28] So for those reasons, I was waiting for Molly to bring it up,

[00:12:31] and I didn't have to wait too long.

[00:12:33] Last night, Molly brought it up while we were getting ready for bed.

[00:12:36] She mentioned how she worries about Zell since,

[00:12:39] without a job or a degree,

[00:12:40] her chances of being deported eventually are higher.

[00:12:43] She then went on about how Zell couldn't return to her home country

[00:12:46] since she was so accustomed to life here.

[00:12:49] This is the usual sob story Molly's been telling for the past two-ish months.

[00:12:53] I mentioned helping out Zell with her resumes,

[00:12:56] and Molly was happy with that.

[00:12:57] She then told me something I wasn't aware of.

[00:12:59] For the past two weeks, Zell and Ed had been texting each other.

[00:13:03] News to me, though in hindsight it explains a lot,

[00:13:07] especially given Ed's lack of progress in finalizing the divorce.

[00:13:10] On top of that, Ed has continued footing her phone bill all this time.

[00:13:15] The man's patience is on another level.

[00:13:18] Should he and Zell reconcile,

[00:13:19] I floated the idea of asking him to financially compensate us.

[00:13:23] Molly shot down the idea.

[00:13:25] By consent, she wasn't entirely closed off to it.

[00:13:28] Aside from that, not too much has been happening.

[00:13:31] Zell's job should start in about two weeks,

[00:13:33] once she starts getting paid.

[00:13:34] She'll move out.

[00:13:36] Molly tells me that Zell has already started looking into apartments.

[00:13:40] Seb's screen says on the back of that one,

[00:13:42] Why should Ed, who was cheated on by the person whose life he was funding,

[00:13:45] now pay for said cheater's lodgings?

[00:13:48] Ed Professional says,

[00:13:49] Because he right now being an arsehole because he wants money.

[00:13:52] I no longer feel bad for OP.

[00:13:54] The only person I feel bad for is Ed.

[00:13:56] That poor guy.

[00:13:58] Everyone is still an arsehole to me,

[00:13:59] and him stating that makes him an arsehole.

[00:14:02] Like for real.

[00:14:03] Seb's screen says OP has been under his wife's boot this entire time,

[00:14:07] and she has been under Zell's boot.

[00:14:10] Marv says,

[00:14:11] If you think your wife is going to be open to the idea to send an invoice for hosting her BFF,

[00:14:16] you are dumber than you sound.

[00:14:18] Also, if that logic works,

[00:14:19] she should invoice for the help during your wife's absence.

[00:14:23] OP says,

[00:14:24] It was just an idea.

[00:14:25] Though realistically,

[00:14:26] we probably wouldn't go through with it.

[00:14:29] I'm just trying to picture like Zell's partner's face when like some paperwork comes through.

[00:14:34] Oh, lodgings for Zell,

[00:14:36] who cheated on you by the way.

[00:14:38] $4,000 or something like that.

[00:14:40] Just think like,

[00:14:40] what the fuck?

[00:14:42] And I know this is very Reddit brain of me,

[00:14:44] but I thought this was going to go down a very different path at some points.

[00:14:47] In this story,

[00:14:49] it kind of felt like,

[00:14:50] Wife's away,

[00:14:52] Zell will play,

[00:14:53] you know,

[00:14:53] that kind of thing.

[00:14:54] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:14:58] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:15:01] And let's move on to another story.

[00:15:04] Now our next story comes from the Off My Chest subreddit,

[00:15:07] from NotWillMcKenzie and says,

[00:15:09] I'm currently misleading my girlfriend.

[00:15:12] She's an actress and will be in a show in a few months that she'd really like for me to see.

[00:15:17] I am,

[00:15:18] however,

[00:15:18] moving away soon for college and will be a long flight from home.

[00:15:22] Right now,

[00:15:23] whenever we talk about it,

[00:15:24] I say the same things.

[00:15:25] I wish I could.

[00:15:27] Maybe someone could take videos.

[00:15:29] Lights are just too expensive.

[00:15:31] What she doesn't know is,

[00:15:32] I absolutely will be there.

[00:15:34] I'm booking a flight so I can see it and surprise her on opening night.

[00:15:38] It feels like I'm keeping a huge secret from her now,

[00:15:41] but I can't wait to see the look on her face as she runs into my arms

[00:15:45] when she wasn't expecting me to see her show.

[00:15:47] I love her so much.

[00:15:49] So,

[00:15:50] Baker says on the back of that one,

[00:15:51] Good lord,

[00:15:52] I mean,

[00:15:52] this is awesome,

[00:15:53] but do not let us see you when she's on stage.

[00:15:57] LeFlex says,

[00:15:58] Totally.

[00:15:58] I did the same thing for a girlfriend and a beauty pageant.

[00:16:01] She walked out,

[00:16:02] saw me,

[00:16:03] got surprised,

[00:16:03] and totally biffed some move or things she was supposed to nail.

[00:16:07] It absolutely cost her a few points.

[00:16:10] Let No says,

[00:16:11] Imagine your girlfriend is a gymnast and she sees you halfway through the stunt

[00:16:14] and she lands on her neck and her head cracks open.

[00:16:17] Where did that comment come from?

[00:16:19] 12 says,

[00:16:20] You're misleading us too much with that title.

[00:16:23] This is wholesome.

[00:16:24] Props to you for doing that and best of luck with college.

[00:16:27] You know,

[00:16:28] Reddit does that to me.

[00:16:29] It's like when I'm reading a post,

[00:16:30] I think,

[00:16:30] Oh,

[00:16:30] what's going to happen in the second half of this post?

[00:16:33] Let's just hope it continues down that wholesome path.

[00:16:35] It'd be nice to end on a nice little wholesome story.

[00:16:38] So,

[00:16:38] two months later,

[00:16:40] Opie comes in and says,

[00:16:41] A couple of months back,

[00:16:42] I made a post about how I planned to surprise my actress girlfriend.

[00:16:46] Well,

[00:16:46] tonight was her opening night.

[00:16:48] I never mentioned in the original post,

[00:16:50] but she is playing Juliet in Romeo and Juliet and lots of people wanted an update.

[00:16:55] So,

[00:16:55] here goes.

[00:16:56] First of all,

[00:16:57] she did know I'd be flying home this weekend.

[00:16:59] A lot has happened since I made the original post and there was a point where she needed to know she had my support.

[00:17:05] So,

[00:17:05] I told her that I had been planning to surprise her,

[00:17:07] but that I really could make it to the show.

[00:17:10] We've been looking forward to seeing each other since then.

[00:17:13] I did keep some element of surprise though,

[00:17:15] especially since in that conversation,

[00:17:17] she said she would have thought the surprise was sweet.

[00:17:20] I told her that because of my class schedule,

[00:17:22] I wouldn't get to leave until Friday night and could see her on Saturday.

[00:17:25] But I booked the tickets for Wednesday night so I could see her on Thursday,

[00:17:29] her opening night.

[00:17:30] She absolutely had no idea and I had nervous and excited butterflies all of yesterday and today.

[00:17:36] I really didn't want her to see me into after the show and I didn't want word to spread to her that I was there.

[00:17:42] So,

[00:17:43] I disguised myself with a baseball cap,

[00:17:45] glasses and mask,

[00:17:47] got my tickets and quickly went to my seat.

[00:17:50] The show was amazing.

[00:17:51] She filled her role so well and put on the best performance I've ever seen from her.

[00:17:56] Lots of her co-stars were on point and overall it was just a lovely production.

[00:18:01] Once it was over,

[00:18:02] I took off the disguise and stood in the lobby with a huge bouquet of flowers waiting for her to notice me.

[00:18:07] It took a while,

[00:18:08] but when she finally did,

[00:18:10] it felt unreal.

[00:18:11] She was in such a happy and giggly mood.

[00:18:14] She couldn't stop moving around and making jokes like she was excited and flustered as hell in a very endearing way.

[00:18:20] I gave her the flowers and the tightest hug I could along with all my congratulations.

[00:18:25] It might have been the cutest I've ever seen her in my entire life.

[00:18:29] She did break the news to me later that someone had recognized me at intermission though

[00:18:33] and word had gone backstage that I was there.

[00:18:35] I know that made her nervous and I didn't get to see the look on her face that I was waiting months for,

[00:18:40] but her performance didn't miss a beat and she reenacted the look for me later.

[00:18:45] We spent a lot of time together after the show,

[00:18:47] time that she wasn't expecting to get until later this weekend,

[00:18:51] but was beyond happy to have tonight.

[00:18:53] We waited until everyone else left,

[00:18:55] then danced to some of our favorite love songs in the freezing cold parking lot.

[00:18:58] I love her with my entire heart and soul and I'm so happy I did it.

[00:19:03] It was very well received and made for what was by far the sweetest and most romantic night of my life so far.

[00:19:11] Shez Peak says,

[00:19:12] This is so endearing to read.

[00:19:14] Thanks for the update.

[00:19:15] We wish you the best with her and hope there will be little happy updates.

[00:19:19] Professional Bank says,

[00:20:22] Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:20:26] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:20:30] So thank you so, so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:20:34] Take care and much love.