I Told My Wife That I Don't Consider Her A Parent To Our Child

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00] Now today's first story comes from Vinny or Vinny from the Relationship Advice subreddit titled I Told My Wife 26 Female That Our Baby Is Mine And That I, 25 Female, Did Not Consider Her The Other Parent. But I don't know if that was a good idea. Hi, this is my first post here. I'm here to talk about an issue I do not know how to navigate. I want to start off by saying that my wife and I are WLW.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00] Which means women loving women and have been married for four years, together for six. Our relationship was perfect or as perfect as relationships can be. We are fine financially which in this economy feels like a blessing. Having a decent house and have work schedules that align with each other. And yes, we were incredibly affectionate towards each other. So around six months ago, we went through with IVF and I'm currently carrying our daughter.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00] But around the same time, my wife got a promotion at the company we both worked for. And it consumed her life. I'm not being dramatic. I understand the stress of a new position. I did my best at home to make sure she could come home to a nice house, home cooked dinners and lunches to take to work. But nothing has seemed good enough. I noticed around a month into her new position, she was coming home later and later, often staying well past dinner time.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00] So I would work my schedule around her in that regard so that she would always have a meal to come home to. But it felt like she stopped seeing me. Her entire life has been consumed by her work and I'm worried. I know this behavior isn't healthy. It's been six months since she received her new position and things have gotten so bad that I feel like a shadow in my own home. To make matters worse, I've been struggling with the pregnancy, yet she doesn't seem to care. I try to talk to her, ask her about her day and I'm met with dry answers.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00] Or some nights, she's home well into the evening while I'm already asleep. We don't talk at all. I feel discarded. It's weird to miss someone with whom you still share a bed with. Now to the issue at hand. Yesterday when she came home from work at 11pm. Yes, 11pm. She caught me upstairs crying because 1. I'm pregnant and 2. It feels like my wife hates me. She just stared at me blankly and asked why I was crying and I lost it. I spilled everything.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00] I told her how her negligence was making me feel. I didn't yell, just cried while she stood awkwardly in the doorway. She responded by saying I was being ungrateful because she was providing for our family and our daughter. And in the heat of the moment, I told her that the baby was my daughter, not hers. As she had not been involved in the entire pregnancy. She never went to any appointments past the IVF ones, skipped our small gender reveal, and hasn't even tried to be there for me while I'm slowly getting sicker by the day. So this reaction felt justified.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00] I was not trying to be ungrateful. I just feel so unloved, unattractive, and like I'm not doing enough to win her attention. I'm grateful that she works so hard. I just miss her so much. I don't think we've even kissed in weeks. She left the room without another word. I can't help but feel like I've messed everything up. All I wanted was my wife to come home. Not this hollow workaholic she has turned into.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00] She left for work early this morning, hasn't called or text, and to be honest, I'm scared that anything I say will make things worse. I don't want to divorce her, but I can't imagine raising a child with this woman anymore. I know posting here probably isn't a good call. I'm just so tired, and my therapist has no openings for another week. I'm not angry. I'm worried that she is falling down a path I cannot help her with. Please give any advice you can. I want to be seen again. For a bit more context, I don't think she is cheating.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_00] I did make the horrible mistake of looking through her phone, and nothing is incriminating. Yes, I've tried talking to her many times. I text paragraphs after paragraphs, and she said she is sorry, and does try a bit more for a few days, and then falls back into her schedule. Quickly adding something, as I realized I forgot to add a tiny bit of context. The child has no genetic ties to me. I'm carrying her egg. We decided this was the most viable option for us, as then we are both included in the process.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00] By me saying you are not this child's parent, I did not mean it because of genetic ties. I meant it because she has not shown up for us. And yes, I regret saying it. So, some of the commenters were asking OP questions, and OP was replying. The first one said, Is it possible that a decision to take a promotion and throw herself into her work is her reaction to the stress and fear of becoming a parent? I know you say you're comfortable financially, but a child brings a whole new level of financial and general stress.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00] She may be feeling a bit panicked, and this is how she's responding. I'm not saying that she is acting good or bad, just saying she may also be struggling and coping in a way that makes sense to her. Regardless, it sounds like you guys need to find a way to communicate with each other and come to a shared understanding and a path forward. OP says, Commodore says,

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00] You've been holding this in for way too long, so let's face it, a blow-up was bound to happen. You have more than a right to be feeling the way you are, and needing more especially being pregnant. But, that was a cross line to say it's your baby, not hers. Like you will owe her a big arse apology for that in my opinion. I can't imagine how devastated I'd be in that situation. You need to start sitting her down and telling her how you feel instead of blowing up on her. Regularly asking for compromise, and if you can't imagine being with her anymore, then that's okay too.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00] But I'd wait until getting back in with your therapist being pregnant and alone is hard. I was in a long-distance relationship with the first half of mine, so I get it. But the hormones do add a lot to it and escalate everything. Just don't end things until you're sure it's what you want. Opie says, I appreciate this comment. I know I crossed a line. I didn't mean it maliciously. I said it because she is shown not to care about our child. As I mentioned, she's never been to a single appointment.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00] I know it's silly, but I wanted her to bond with our child while she is in my womb. I'm going to apologize when she gets home. Thank you. A commenter says, that's about the most malicious thing you could have said. I'm sure you regret it, but can you honestly say you didn't mean it maliciously? You knew it would wound her deeply. Opie says, I truly didn't. I was upset. So much so, and she called me ungrateful for wanting attention. She is the other parent to this child. In reality, I would never take that from her.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_00] I just wish she put her wife and daughter over her work at least once. The clinic is not even 10 minutes from her work, and she has missed every milestone appointment. A commenter says, maybe she's jealous or resentful that you're the one carrying the baby. Opie says, I don't think that's it. She made it really clear she does not want to be pregnant, and that it's a fear of hers. Someone asked Opie about the wife having second thoughts of being a parent, and if finances are an issue to be concerned about. Opie says, it was actually her idea. Not a spur of the moment thing either.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00] We discussed this for over 18 months, and she's always seemed so excited. I really hate to think that she'd be having second thoughts the second we actually conceived. She always wanted a family. We shared that dream together, and as for financials, we're more than well off, which is something I'm incredibly grateful for. Her working situation is coming solely because of her drive. I do not believe it is finance related. She's on her way home though, so I guess we'll find out. Someone asked what Opie's wife's job is, and Opie says I can't exactly say, but it's

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00] a high corporate position and a rather large company. I work in marketing at the same company. A commenter said to Opie, did you do reciprocal IVF with your baby genetically being your wife's egg, or donor sperm with your egg? Could affect custody issues. Also, if you plan to divorce before or after the baby is born. If you use your own egg and divorce before the baby is born, that would be the strongest case for full custody. Opie says, thank you for asking. I just added this to my post. Yes, we did reciprocal IVF.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00] I do not plan for a divorce unless she asks for that. Then I will respect her wishes. I know I'm in the wrong here. And one more commenter says, how much were you both communicating throughout your entire pregnancy? It seems like you've been hurting a lot and your wife missed a lot of milestones that felt important to you. Did your wife feel the same way? Could you ask her to come and she was dismissive? How are your finances? If they're not great, could it be that she's trying to work as much as possible before the baby comes and you both launched into full-time parenthood?

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00] Obviously, coming home at 11 shouldn't be the norm in any job, even with a promotion. Your wife may need to set boundaries for a better work-life balance and not be neglectful to a pregnant partner. However, you guys should be communicating about how things are going every day. If something is hurtful, you should bring it up as soon as possible and deal with it as a unit, together. You both versus the problem. Have open conversations about expectations and priorities in the coming months and after the baby comes. If your wife has to work long hours, are there other friends or family members who can provide

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00] support? At the end of the day, it was a horrible statement said only to hurt your partner. It doesn't solve anything. You should apologize but also express exactly how things have escalated to this point. Work it out together. Good luck to you both. Opie says, I have tried communicating yes, but it's always ended with the same outcome, which isn't good for our marriage, which we both acknowledge is strained. She knew these milestones were important to me. I thought she would think so too. I asked her to be there every time.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00] I even cried over the phone with her and she either says she's too busy or no shows. She is very driven, always has been, but it's worrying how much of herself she puts into work. It's not healthy. No one in their right mind should be doing 15 hour days daily. I know I'm in the wrong with that comment and I will not say otherwise. Quick edit, our finances are better than average. I'm working from home, so we have two incomes coming in. We are by no means struggling, but I don't want to seem bad for saying that.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_00] I felt kind of different on this one and I wasn't with the comments completely because I felt like I may be just being harsh myself, right? But I felt like people focusing way too much on that one sentence instead of everything leading up to it. Yeah, don't get me wrong. That probably stung. That comment would have sucked hearing it, right? But was it that unfair? Her wife hasn't shown up to a single appointment. Miss Milestones Bay talks to her and basically treated this whole pregnancy like it's not even happening. At some point, the words start reflecting reality.

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00] OP didn't say that and nowhere ought to be cruel for fun. She said it after months of being emotionally abandoned while literally carrying their child. OP did come in with an update and said hello, quickly writing an update while my wife is in the shower. I wasn't sure where to leave an update. I wanted to add a few more things, addressing a few of the comments I have received and first of all, more context on my comment. No, I was not saying she was not the biological parent. I was saying she was not stepping up as a parent.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_00] There's a difference in this matter. I'm not sure whether going to Reddit was actually a good call. The amount of homophobic remarks I got, which mind you, were completely unrelated to this topic was unfathomable. Though I got a giggle out of one of the comments saying, why did you choose to marry a woman? To which I replied, women are hot. Need I say more? I was also baffled. Almost every comment pointed to the fact that this was a WLW relationship.

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00] Yes, I understand that the variables change, but some comments just felt like they were mentioning it to mention it. Anyways, thank you for all the advice. I'd pre-written a script to say to my wife when I got home, so I didn't say anything wrong or leave anything out. My wife came home early, which was surprising, but I was caught off guard. She beat me to the we need to talk declaration and we sat down in our bedroom. I spoke first, using advice from the comments. I told her I was sorry and that the comments I said were immature.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_00] And I explained that I felt like I was alone in this ordeal and that all I wanted was to feel loved again. And I was worried things would remain like this after our daughter is born. I talked to her about her workload and I was worried that maybe this was becoming a much larger issue for her mentally. She was silent for a long moment after I spoke, for explaining that the reason she walked out after my comment wasn't because she was angry. Yes, she said the comments stung, but she explained how it was like a wake-up call in her head. Some of you were right, but some of you were oh so wrong.

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_00] In her head, the promotion she received mattered a lot to her socially. She was expected to take it when she actually was comfortable in her old position. Saying no could have impacted her greatly and possibly put a dent in her relationship with her bosses. And that was when she tried to say, I'll need to think about this. They'd already taken that as a yes as the position was greatly needed and the company was struggling without someone in this position. The workload was so much that she was getting migraines at night, which is why she was either snappy or just didn't want to talk.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00] By this point, she was crying. Said that she regretted everything. Now seeing this in a new light. She apologized over and over. And she even told me she's delegated 50% of her workload to other people so she can come home earlier. She's also told me she wants to look into getting a therapist to better manage her stress. Of course, I'm happy with this fact. She also admitted she was worried. Even opened up to me for the first time that she was scared of being like her own parents. That she didn't want her daughter to live as she did.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_00] And with that, she subconsciously pulled away. I told her that she needed to communicate these things and that I was still upset with her lack of understanding of the fact. I feel a bit more ease, but I'm not completely sold. As I'm already so used to being without her that the idea of being with her feels foreign. But for now, I'm just glad she finally understands how I feel. And I finally got that kiss. Thank you for listening. A commenter says to the OP, here's the funny thing.

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_00] I'll bet that delegation actually improves the management opinion of the job she does. If you're in a position to delegate, that is what you should do. OP says, let's say, I got the debrief from her. Colleagues were not impressed, but she's already come home with color on her face. So I see it as a win. Another commenter says, it's nice to arrive here after the update. I'm glad you two spoke. I'd definitely recommend couples therapy though. OP says, yep, we've booked a few appointments. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00] What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from the AmITheArsehole subreddit from ParticularAnxious208. It does have several updates and a final update to it as well. But before we do get into it, some trigger warnings for this story in case you do want to skip it. Totally up to you. It contains physical assault and violence and serious injury and medical trauma as well.

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_00] Domestic violence and harassment and stalking within the story. As mentioned, timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. And it says, am I the arsehole for skipping my friend's birthday without warning? Miles and I have known each other since we were two because our parents are best friends. Now, I would not say Miles is my best friend. He's a good friend and we do hang out on occasion. But we see each other on all major holidays because of our parents. We're in our early 20s.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_00] The problem started because of a dumb childhood memory. When we were eight, we had a wedding play on school after care. I played the bride and Miles the groom. It was a play with horrible songs and uncoordinated kids. Obviously, our parents made pictures and videos of that. And we each have one picture on our family picture walls. Miles is dating Lindy. They met three years ago and started dating last year. Lindy does not like me. Every time we go inside at a celebration,

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_00] she makes a comment about me being the typical girl best friend. She one time said that I secretly wanted to sleep with Miles. I have no clue where she got that impression from. Miles and I have different friend groups and schedules. Besides the monthly catch up over food, we didn't really meet that much. Things got worse when Lindy saw the wedding play picture. The comments just got more. She even started DMing me on Instagram saying she knew what game I was playing.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00] I talked to Miles once about this and he told me to give her time. So his birthday was on Saturday and I was invited. Lindy wrote me saying something along the lines that she was going to supervise me. This was their first birthday as a couple and I was not allowed to take up his time. I was honestly just fed up. I tried talking to Miles once more but he said the same thing. So I just skipped out. When the party started, I wrote a quick sorry I can't come and told him my mother was going to bring his present.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_00] Now he is upset with me for missing his birthday. Lindy is mad that I made it all about myself and my parents are upset I missed a family function. Am I the asshole? Edit. I didn't show anyone the messages because I didn't want to make more out of this than it is. I didn't want to poison anyone against Lindy. Especially not if she is a new fixture in Miles' life. That would make both of our lives more difficult. I hope that just talking about it might be the more adult thing.

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_00] My parents are not mad at me or blowing up my phone, a la Reddit fashion. They and Miles' parents just were bummed out that this was the first birthday that I ever missed. As to why she is jealous, I have no idea. Neither of our parents ever wanted us to get together. There were no jokes or anything about it. I think they also never would want that. The wedding play picture is in the living rooms because they loved the picture and it was our first play.

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00] So, it was 11 days later that OP came in with their first update and says, I will update in the first part and clarify some things later. After my first post, I talked to Miles. At first, he was kind of mad and thought I'd been blowing things out of proportion. Some more details are in my last post. We came to the conclusion of taking more distance. Well, he figures all that out. Mainly because I did not want the added stress of petty drama. Then I talked to my parents and explained to them what was going on.

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_00] They were really upset by how Lindy treated me. Like, obviously, they weren't going to get involved but it was nice to get that off my chest. Then nothing else happened until Tuesday evening. Wednesday was a holiday so some of my friends took the opportunity to go to an Irish pub to do karaoke. At some point, my best friend and I went to pee and touch up our makeup. Then Lindy and some of her friends walked in and kind of cornered us. It wasn't pretty.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00] They started loudly talking about man-stealing bitches and how some women were just born to be homewreckers. And imagine being pathetic enough to be a guy's friend to fuck him and how pick-me's are the worst. They kept kind of edging us physically into the part where the hand dryers were while pretending we were not there. Until my best friend had enough and just pushed through them while drawing me behind her. We were almost at our table when Lindy went right behind me and pulled my hair so I fell backwards onto like a metallic piece where you're supposed to put your feet on.

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_00] It hurt so bad that I started to see white and then a girl next to Lindy poured beer on me. I cannot really tell you what happened but there was a scuffle and someone dropped one of those heavy pint glasses on my head. The Lindys were taken away by the police and I was taken to the hospital. My parents were furious as were Miles' parents. They both came to the hospital. I was severely concussed. My nose was fractured and the worst thing is that I have a hairline fracture in my back. I stayed in the hospital till yesterday morning.

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_00] Miles did try calling me a bunch. According to my parents they told him to not visit me right now. I did get an official notice saying that apparently there was now a legal case open against Lindy and one other girl for not only assault but also public disturbance in the bar. So now I have to deal with all that legally. I finally talked to Miles and long story short, those of you saying Lindy was isolating him was a sign of an abusive relationship was right. He told me all the things she said to him to make him feel awful.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00] She would freak out about anything in her life and take that out on him. She would scratch him and bite him when she was mad. Our talk ended with both of us crying and apologizing. We will be closer again, at least so we can talk about these things more often. He broke up with her and is hiding at my parents' house, so that is it for now. So Opie comes back in again three months later and says I'll update immediately and go into details later. There has been an official court date set for my process against Lindy.

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_00] It took two months to get and there's another three months out but something is something. Our lawyer said that Lindy is probably not going to jail as she is a first time offender. If she goes to jail it would be no more than three months. Most likely she's going to have to pay a fee of 100 days of her income or something like that. I've let my father deal with this 100% because I have no head for it. There was a second lawsuit going on at the same time and now I am legally chronically ill.

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_00] The hairline fracture was not a passing thing but developed. I'm daily in pain. Not every day is bad but not a day passes where I'm not in at least a two on the pain scale. As a result I have not been able to work. Right now my insurance pays 75% of my former income and my workplace covers the rest. But I'm probably going to get fired so my insurance filed a claim against Lindy to pay my lost wages. I am right now not in contact with Miles.

[00:21:28] [SPEAKER_00] I tried to be supportive but being disabled by his jealous ex-girlfriend made me bitter against him. He was a victim but now I can't live my life and I blame him partly for that. I'm in therapy to work through all of that and have taken up some new hobbies. I've started to write more and am looking into courses or online classes. Miles' parents have been apologetic and have supported me a lot. His mother has been a saint. She volunteered to drive me everywhere and I actually have become friends with her.

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_00] We even went to see Deadpool and Wolverine. She has a stay at home wife so we have a lot of time. One of Lindy's friends reached out through my lawyer offering a testimony against her own friend. She also sent a letter apologizing. To make it short Lindy had told him I was bullying her and that Miles had once already cheated on her with me. So that's where we are right now. Take care and shield your back.

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_00] It was two months after that that OP came in again and says hey everyone so here we are again and yeah things have moved along. But honestly I'm just tired. The first court date. It came and went. It was my insurance company versus Lindy and surprise surprise she lost. She's on the hook for most of my lost wages which is nice I guess. I didn't have to be there the whole time which I was grateful for because I've had enough of this mess.

[00:22:46] [SPEAKER_00] As for the criminal case well we don't even know if we'll end up going to court for that one. My lawyer is handling it and I've handed the reins over to my dad because honestly I've had it. I'm no legal expert and after that insurance loss Lindy's in a bad spot. Her legal team is apparently scrambling to do some serious damage control but at this point that's not my problem. More of Lindy's friends have crawled out of their hidey holes to give testimony. Turns out this wasn't her first rodeo.

[00:23:12] [SPEAKER_00] Another girl came forward with evidence of Lindy pulling similar stunts back in high school. This poor girl was just sitting next to Lindy's then boyfriend being a normal human and Lindy went off the rails starting rumors and spreading literal breadcrumbs on her table to trigger a celiac disease. Yeah she's that kind of psycho. No one could prove it at the time but now with all these friends popping up it's all coming to light. And believe me these girls didn't have some moral epiphany.

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_00] They're just terrified of getting fired or having anything negative pop up in their records. Their receipts are coming out and it's getting uglier by the day. Now let's talk about Miles because that's a whole other dumpster fire. I'm still not speaking to him. Turns out he's known for a while that Lindy was threatening him with bad things if he didn't cut me off and make his parents stop talking to me. And this idiot laughed it off. Thought she meant breaking up with him or something but no. She was dead serious. Even started stalking me and one of his cousins.

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_00] She made some fake profile and was sending cryptic messages to his cousin. What did Miles do? Talked her down. Yeah that's it. She kept giving him ultimatums and he just rolled with it. So yeah I'm even angrier at him now. He knew she was unhinged and didn't do a damn thing about it. He let her spiral while I got dragged through the mud. His dad finally got involved and dragged him to the police. Where they filed reports and all the crap Lindy pulled. I have evidence now from the stuff with his cousin and even photos when Lindy got physical with him.

[00:24:39] [SPEAKER_00] So at least something's happening on that front. But it's too little too late if you ask me. As for Lindy. Well she's gone radio silent. Except for TikTok of course. My friends keep sending me her cringey videos and it's honestly kind of disturbing. She's acting like nothing's happening. Like her whole life isn't unraveling. She's got a new boyfriend now and they're making those awful lip sync videos together. I think she's living at his place but who knows. Maybe her parents cut her off. Wouldn't be surprised. Oh and the guy? Yeah.

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_00] One of my friends looked him up. Let's just say he fits right into her pattern. As my grandma would say. There's a lid for every pot. On the health front still nothing good to report. My pain hasn't improved and I'm now waiting for a surgery appointment. Which looks like it'll be early 2025. The pain is radiating to my left hip now. Which is just great. I feel like the sad little dog from the Black Cauldron. But hey silver lining. I've made friends with a few of the nurses who work with me. One of them braids my hair which is kind of sweet.

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_00] I'm also seeing a physiotherapist regularly. Mostly for massages at this point. It helps but some days I feel like I'm just patching myself together with duct tape. The therapist suggested I start doing pool exercises. So now I'm in aqua aerobics class for seniors. No. There isn't a disability specific class in my town. And frankly I didn't feel like looking too hard. The old ladies are a riot though. Well except for one who always looks miserable. But honestly I'm not one to talk. One piece of good news. I finally got approved for a wheelchair.

[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_00] So at least I can go out with my friends without feeling like my body is falling apart after an hour. I've also been taking a few university courses for fun. And playing way too much fallout. So there's that. And that's where we are. It's still a mess. But I'm just doing what I can to get through it. Thanks for sticking around I guess. Edit. Please don't offer legal advice. My lawyer and my father are dealing with it. Also I'm not in the US. And it was three months later that OP came in with what they titled their final update.

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_00] I said hi everyone. Things are finally settled enough for me to share an update. The court case is over. Lindy was sentenced to actual prison time. And none of it is suspended. She also has to pay restitution for my medical expenses. Lost wages and pain and suffering. The court didn't miss a thing. They went through all the evidence. The testimonies and even the messages. And it was clear who was at fault. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is. During the trial Lindy claimed I'd been bullying her.

[00:27:04] [SPEAKER_00] And I planned the pub incident to ambush her in the bathroom. Where there were no cameras. She said I struck first. Two of her friends backed her up. But the third one. Who was also a part of the attack. Ended up telling the truth to avoid harsher punishment. It was obvious their stories didn't line up. And when the outside CCTV footage and witnesses from the pub were brought in. A whole narrative fell apart. The court didn't buy it. Especially with all the messages Lindy had sent me before the incident. She could not explain why someone supposedly bullying her.

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_00] Would also be the one receiving threats from her. It also came out that Lindy and her new boyfriend had been intimidating witnesses. She even messaged me on Instagram. Trying to get me to say something incriminating or admit to something I didn't do. At first I didn't realize who it was. So I replied briefly. But once I figured it out. I stopped immediately. Thankfully I'd already handed over everything to my lawyer. So it was documented. Watching her lawyer try to frame her actions as acting out under duress.

[00:28:03] [SPEAKER_00] While knowing she was tampering with the case was surreal. There was a moment outside the courtroom where my parents and Lindy's parents talked. It wasn't an argument. But it was uncomfortable. Her parents pointed out how everything presented in court made it clear what Lindy had done. Lindy's parents didn't argue back. But they seemed completely out of their depth. They mentioned being shocked by how much she had escalated things. And admitted they hadn't understood how serious it was. They've taken on the financial burden of a restitution. Which means I know the money for everything will come through.

[00:28:33] [SPEAKER_00] It's hard to say if they're doing it out of guilt or to protect their image. But either way. It's one less thing for me to worry about. Adjusting to my new normal has been a mixed bag. The chronic pain is still there. And my surgery isn't happening for a few more months. I've also been dealing with the endless back and forth of German bureaucracy. My insurance keeps sending letters asking. Hey, you still disabled? Lol. As if the chronic pain and unhealed fracture could magically fix themselves.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_00] Every time I'm done explaining my situation they send me another form to fill out. It's exhausting. But my doctors have been really supportive and always help me get the paperwork sorted. Some days are harder than others. And there are moments when I feel sad about how much my life has changed. A few months ago I was stuck in that sadness. Angry all the time. And constantly thinking about how unfair this all is. I think I was grieving the life I thought I would have. Now though, I've accepted that this is my life. And even if I never fully heal, I know I'll manage.

[00:29:30] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not letting Lindy take up any more space in my head than she already has. I started focusing on things that make me happy again. My friends and I started a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. And they come over to my place to play. They're so patient when I need breaks or when the pain gets bad. Through that group, I met someone. At first I was nervous about getting close to him because I thought he might see my situation as too much to deal with. But he's been amazing. He drives me to appointments. Brings me groceries once a week. And has never made me feel like a burden.

[00:29:59] [SPEAKER_00] I'm falling in love with him. And for the first time in a while, I feel hopeful. I've also been keeping my mind busy with the courses. And finally rewatch all of How I Met Your Mother. Sometimes I catch myself comparing my old life to this one. And it makes me sad. But I don't stay in that feeling as long as I used to. I've started finding a balance between moving forward. And letting myself feel everything that comes with this new chapter. I've distanced myself from Miles' parents. They were wonderful to me. But I realized he needs their support now more than I do. And it should be undivided.

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_00] I still don't know if I can forgive him. To this day, I haven't. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through all of this. It's been a long road. But I finally feel like I'm on the other side of it. Take care of yourselves. And hold on to the people who make your life lighter. They make all the difference. I was just so glad that Lindy did in fact get jail time after this. I just find it so wild to be able to do that to another person like that. And the way that she was just acting normally afterwards on TikTok.

[00:30:58] [SPEAKER_00] Making normal videos. It just sounds absolutely like wild ass behavior. And honestly, for me, Miles doesn't get a free pass either. Because he knew that she was unstable. He knew she was making threats. And he still did nothing until it was too late. And OP paid the price for that. Everyone else ignoring the warning signs. And I know he was going through something himself. And I do hope he heals at the same time as well. And I kind of wanted to say I'm glad that OP got justice.

[00:31:25] [SPEAKER_00] But I find it hard to call it, you know, a win if you like. If OP's living with chronic pain for the rest of her life. I don't want to play down how she's dealing with things right now. And the new boyfriend. And joining the Dungeons and Dragons. And just living her life the best way that she can. Because she deserves it. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_00] Getting involved in the stories you'll love. To support your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.