I Told My Sister She Will CHOKE ON HER JEALOUSY After What She Did At A Celebration r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from MysteriousStock948 from the Am I the Asshole subreddit. And says, Am I the Asshole for snapping at my sister that she'll choke on her jealousy one day?

[00:00:32] Hi. I'll try to keep it as short as I can. I promise I'll clarify things if there are confusions and sorry about them in advance. I'm 21 female and I have two siblings. My sister is 24 and engaged. My brother is 28 and married to my sister-in-law who is 25. My parents hosted a family luncheon to celebrate my sister's engagement at their house. I went early to help them set up. My brother and sister-in-law were a little bit later than everyone else.

[00:01:00] My sister and her fiance arrived last. Everything was going well and everyone was happy until my sister got a text and pulled me aside. She asked me if I could go outside and meet a friend of hers who's going to drop off something for her. I did.

[00:01:15] The something was a big ball of pure happiness. A Saint Bernard dog with a cute little formal tie around his neck. As adorable as he was, I couldn't bring him in because my sister-in-law is allergic. Her allergy is not severe but still. Everyone in the family knows it.

[00:01:33] I told the friend to please wait while I talked to my sister. She did not. I texted my sister that I can't bring him inside. She texted it was fine to bring him in because it's a surprise and he's the sweetest new addition to the family. I insisted that I can't. Then I texted my brother about it because it had been 10 minutes. I'm standing in the driveway with a big doggy that would not stop licking my legs, not knowing what to do.

[00:01:58] From what I was told, inside, my brother pulled my sister aside and asked her not to bring the dog in. That she knows his wife is allergic. She refused, saying that it's an open space. That sister-in-law will be fine. He then told her the news that sister-in-law is pregnant. I already knew and they were waiting until she passed her first trimester. My sister then went outside, dragged the dog and then me in when I resisted. My brother, seeing this, excused himself and left with the sister-in-law.

[00:02:28] We tried resuming the lunch after that, but it was awkward at best. When my sister and her fiancé cut the cake, she grabbed a glass of champagne to make a toast. The toast was her rambling about how selfish my brother and his wife were. That they couldn't let her have one day to herself and had to ruin and overshadow it. That they were not the first or last couple to get pregnant. Both of my parents tried to shush her, but she was on a roll and went on to call sister-in-law an attention seeker that just had to give the family the first grandchild.

[00:02:58] I finally had enough and told her that green isn't a good look on her and that she was going to choke on her jealousy one day. Then I got up and left. She called me a bitch on my way out. My mom called me after and told me it was a bit harsh, even if she was harsher. She also suggested that the three of us, siblings, talk it out after things settle a bit. My dad is staying neutral. I haven't heard from relatives that were at the luncheon. Am I the arsehole?

[00:03:29] So as always, there was some additional information where Opie was responding to the comments. Someone said, question. Did your sister also know about the pregnancy? Like you did. And pulled the dog stunt to make sure they left instead of making a public announcement. Like she would have had the roles been reversed. Opie says my sister had no idea about the pregnancy. None of my family did. The only reason I know is because she got sick from the smell of chili cheese fries when we're having a girl's night in.

[00:03:57] We kind of just looked at each other and a light bulb went off in our heads. It wasn't like my sister was purposely excluded or anything. I can confidently say that my brother and sister-in-law would have never hijacked her day to announce their pregnancy. They were planning their own dinner next month to announce it. I assume that's done with, but maybe we can salvage it with a general reveal if they are up for it. I don't know. Someone talks about Opie's mom and then Opie's sister dragging her out of the house and then saying,

[00:04:24] My mom has always wanted us to talk our issues out because at the end of the day, you're siblings. Say it with me guys. Family. But yeah, that being said, I just went to clarify that even though she dragged me, it doesn't take much since I have the smallest stature of my siblings. So she didn't use a lot of force. I did call my brother and sister-in-law right after I got home and they were good for the most part.

[00:04:51] They were obviously pissed, but since the news is already out, there's not much that can be done about it. The commenter says she didn't even treat the poor puppy well. The last thing a new puppy needs to deal with is the chaos and overstimulation of a family party. And what did they do with the poor wee bugger while they were cutting the cake and making their pissy speeches? Just leave it outside, inside to piddle in a corner. Because the first few weeks with my pups, they piddle with gay abandon every few minutes.

[00:05:21] Opie says I ended up keeping him company before the cake cutting went down, but yeah, he's not a puppy. If I were to guess, I would say he's maybe two years old. I volunteer at a shelter, but I'm definitely not a pro. A commenter says not the arsehole, but I'm confused about who the dog was actually for. If the sister is engaged, that means she's going to be leaving home, so is it her dog? If she got a dog for her parents, that's fucking weird to get a big dog for somebody as a surprise gift.

[00:05:48] Or did she just do it to divert the attention onto herself because she already knew the sister-in-law was pregnant? I'm so confused. Opie says the dog is hers and her fiancé. They both have their own place where the dog will be living. But she brought him to our parents' house to apparently introduce him to the family. Mum's words when I asked her about it. Someone replied to an introduce a full-grown St. Bernard to a family with an allergic member. You can't get much more flying dog fur than that.

[00:06:18] Surely the introductions could have been made at a better time. Did your mother know she was going to do this? If so, not cool, mum. Opie says, I don't think she knew since she and my dad seemed pretty surprised. And then she spent the end of the party looking inside and outside the house for dropping, so I don't know. A commenter says, What worries me is this person will see her plan, pissed everyone off, and she'll blame the dog and take it to the pound. Or worse, set it free in a remote area.

[00:06:46] People like this woman are so wrapped up in their own world, they have zero self-awareness. Opie says, I didn't think of that to be honest. Even though I don't think my sister would ever harm a defenseless animal. I'll keep tabs and make sure he's treated well. Commoner says,

[00:07:12] Allergies have very wide ranges, and they don't affect the pregnancy at all. Unless it's life-threatening of course. The baby won't notice a thing. Opie says, I don't think it's within seconds, but she does start sneezing. Gets a shortness of breath, and if, and this is an example, I pet a dog and touch her face for whatever reason, her eyes get a bit swollen and puffy. A commenter says, I have not read all the comments yet, but what's the fiancé's reaction?

[00:07:39] Surely he is having second thoughts about marrying your mess of a sister. Opie says he was just kind of standing there, looking awkward as hell, but he didn't seem shocked by her behavior, and was standing by her. He even raised his glass. Opie adds one more clarification, and says, I just want to clarify that they didn't announce their pregnancy at my sister's engagement party. My brother told her, and only her privately, since she was saying no to him, asking her not to bring the dog in. As far as I know, we have a cordial relationship,

[00:08:08] sister and sister-in-law. Not overly friendly, but also not standoffish. It could be that constantly sister-in-law's whims dictate every event. I'm at almost every family event. Some I couldn't attend due to personal reasons, but the ones I have been going to, nothing of the sort happened. I do get why it's seen as my brother and I against her. I just feel like in this situation, he's justified. I'll also be mentioning the deep clean to my parents. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

[00:08:39] To me, and this is just my opinion, it kind of felt like that sister is like the golden child, and she didn't like that things were, that occasionally the attention wasn't on her anymore. And it was the toast, the rambling that put that into my head that, you know, she was saying that she couldn't have one day to herself, and that to ruin and overshadow it, rambling on about the pregnancy. And I'm all up for, you know, meeting up together and talking things out. I always think that's a good thing,

[00:09:08] but I think it needs to start with your sister giving the apology, not the other way around. But OP came in with her update and said, this is getting so weird, guys. I made a post on another sub about something that happened with my family at my sister's engagement party. Gist of it is, my sister found out my sister and Laura is pregnant and flipped about them and me ruining her day. Since then, her and I sort of have made up. I sent her a text apologizing for what I said,

[00:09:37] and she accepted it, but we didn't have a proper conversation about any of it. Anyway, since my apologies, she asked who I'm seeing at the moment. More importantly, if it's a man or a woman, if it's men, then how many, and if I'm being careful with my birth control. I was confused and mildly offended at her acting like I'm the whore of Babylon when she knows the only guy I've had sex with is my long-term ex-boyfriend, but whatever. I told her that I just started seeing a woman

[00:10:05] and that she's not getting a niece or nephew from me anytime soon. Obviously, but it's a joke about my dad used to warn both of us and our older brother when we were younger after every family meeting that he won't have teen mothers or fathers under his roof. I thought it was her own weird way of checking up on my life, even if she has never done it before. But she literally sends me a message about my birth control every couple of days, even though I told her I'm seeing a woman. Not that the woman and I are having sex, but you get biology.

[00:10:34] I don't know how to approach this. Like, I have zero clue. Advice, please. Someone says, I read in the other post, I think she's worried that you'll end up pregnant before a wedding too. I mean, it came out at her engagement luncheon that your sister-in-law is pregnant, so she already thinks your brother and sister-in-law are one-upping her. I think she's focused on who else is going to show her up at her wedding. I'm not saying she's right or even sane, but that's the feeling I get. Opie says,

[00:11:03] but the thing is that I'm nowhere near a place in my life where I'm even thinking of having a baby. No offense to people who have babies at 21 or 22, but I'm not trying to do that. Yeah, accidents can happen, but I'm not sleeping around with men, and even if I was, I would be taking double precautions. I think she's miffed that my brother is having the first grandbaby and wants to have the second. I don't know, but I'm worried about her behavior. To be honest, this isn't healthy or normal. Commenter says, hey sis,

[00:11:33] you keep asking me about this, like it's really important to you. What's going on? Opie says, I mean, I will definitely ask her, but I don't want her to get defensive because she perceives me on my brother's side in all this, which yes, I am a little bit guilty of that. Opie comes in with another update and says, hi guys, it's been around a month or so, and to be honest, I don't have that much of an update. A lot of people have been asking me about the doggy, and it's easier than telling people individually, so here it is.

[00:12:03] First things first, the update on my sibling situation. My brother and sister-in-law have gone low contact with my sister until they get a proper apology, which hasn't happened yet, but I think it will happen soon. My sister has been talking to my mom about wanting to be in our future nephew and niece's life, so there's that at least. Also, my sister-in-law is officially out of her first trimester, and she and the baby are healthy and thriving thankfully.

[00:12:29] She's been having a bit of a hard time when it comes to smells and pregnancy stuff, but I think that's to be expected. Don't come at me just from what I've read. We've also been planning a gender reveal party for the next month, so we're just focusing on the positive stuff for now. As for my sister and I, I did send her an apology for how harsh I was with her at the party, and she accepted it and apologized for calling me a bitch, but it's been so damn weird when it comes to our dynamic, especially since she's suddenly all up in my business about who I'm sleeping with,

[00:12:59] but that's another issue. Now for the awaited update. Barkley. Turns out the big fluffball has an adorable bark, one you wouldn't expect when seeing him, hence his name. As some of you predicted, my sister was not up for the massive job that is taking care of a St. Bernard, and a week and a half after the party, she called and asked me to find him another home. I volunteer at a shelter and know a lot of people who would love to adopt. Honestly wanted to keep him myself because I've grown attached,

[00:13:28] but I live in an apartment right now, and not only would it be impossible, it would also be cruel to keep him cooped up like that. Luckily a friend of a friend has a space for him to be happy and safe, and took him in with a promise of letting me see him whenever we're both free. And now I get random pics and videos of Barkley in his element, all happy and bark fighting with the guys next door, neighbors Yorkie. Don't worry, there's fences between them. So yeah, just wanted to say thank you guys for all the advice and opinions.

[00:13:57] I appreciate all of you. A commenter says, I mean, I'm more worried about the other neighbors who have to listen to that, but seems like things at least worked out for Barkley. Opie says, I get your concern, but from what I've seen of the guys neighborhood, went to check it out and meet him first. There's a lot of families and most of the kids have pets, cats, dogs, and a parrot guy's intel. So it seems like they're used to pet noises. I got to admit myself, when I did hear about the two dogs just barking at each other through the fence, I thought, oh yeah,

[00:14:27] neighbor's going to love that. But regardless, I'm glad that Barkley has found a loving home by the sounds of it. Barkley's such a good name for a dog. Sir Barkley the fourth, almost like my poppy that we call Papadopoulos the third. You kind of picture her with a little top hat and a monocle on. But that sister, what is going on? That, you know, I can see many updates coming in this post,

[00:14:55] especially as the wedding becomes closer. I think she's going to be a bride, that one that we've seen many times before. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from accidentally related and says, I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm 23% related to my husband. Hey everyone. I've known my whole life that I'm donor conceived.

[00:15:24] I grew up in New South Wales and my parents were always open about it. So it was never some big secret. I didn't think much about it beyond that though. Until a couple of years ago when my husband and I decided to take an ancestry DNA test. We thought it'd be fun. Maybe I'd find some half siblings and he'd learn a bit about his side of the family. Well, we got the results and I matched with him. My husband. As a half sibling.

[00:15:50] At first I thought it had to be some kind of mistake or maybe I misunderstood something. But no. After looking into it, we realized his dad was also a donor. And no one ever told him. Now here we are. Married for years with two kids. And we're trying to figure out how to process the fact that we are siblings. I don't even know how to explain how I feel. It's just overwhelming. I love him of course, but this changes so much.

[00:16:18] We've already spoken to a genetic counselor and we're trying to move forward. But it's like everything we thought we knew about our family has been flipped upside down. I just feel kind of lost. Has anyone else ever gone through something like this? I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who's dealt with something similar or even just your thoughts. Edit. This blew up much bigger than I intended. I'm going to speak to my husband about family therapy again and sit on this information. We have no interest in going public at this point.

[00:16:49] Like OP said, that is just so incredibly overwhelming. What do you do with that information? And it just had me thinking. I wonder how many others this has potentially happened to. I got no clue whatsoever. Just thoughts going around in the old noggin. But someone said to OP, I think you need some family counseling. First between you and your husband and then later down the road when you inevitably tell your children. I'm not sure if you're able to take leave from work,

[00:17:19] but it'd be a good idea to look into that because this is absolutely something you need to process without work distraction. OP said I'm in therapy myself, but unfortunately my husband is not open to that right now. He's in a big denial phase and does not wish to talk about it. The commenter says I'm so sorry. This was bound to happen somewhere in the world at some point, given the current unregulated fertility industry that puts profit above the rights and interests of the donor conceived child.

[00:17:48] If you're up to it and think it would help, have a few pieces of media to recommend. The Man with a Thousand Kids, the documentary on Netflix. I think I did see that the other day. I haven't watched it yet, but I did see it. Laura High, a content creator and advocate for DCP on TikTok and Instagram. Multiple books have helped me, such as Inheritance by Danny Shapiro, Uprooted in the Lost Family. I've not come across this particular scenario where children were conceived

[00:18:16] by accidental incest between DCP, but a lot of people have other traumas related to the industry and have explored that. I also understand if you don't want to research a situation. I didn't when I first learned I was DCP by surprise. Talking to someone is important though. You will be okay. Your kids will be okay. It's super weird and icky that this happened, but it's not your fault. Opie says, I've actually sent most of the media and read a couple of books from Australian DCP.

[00:18:44] I'm lucky to have been told earlier that I was donor conceived. It was never a huge factor in my life until now. So Opie did update and said thank you so much for all the responses, support and advice. I've taken some time to process and I wanted to provide an update on where we're at. First, I've been in individual therapy and working through everything. It's been incredibly helpful to have a space to just unravel my thoughts. My husband has also told me that he's open to couples therapy,

[00:19:14] which is a big step for us. And I'm hopeful it will help us navigate this together. To confirm some things, yes, my father-in-law is the donor, which makes him not only my husband's father, but also mine. It was a lot to take in. We're both really angry that my husband's dad never told him the truth. And at the moment, neither of us are talking to him. It's just too much. We've also discovered about 40 other siblings so far, all of whom live nearby.

[00:19:43] That was another layer of this experience we weren't prepared for. We haven't met them all yet, but knowing they're out there brings its own set of challenges and questions. As for our marriage, no, we're not divorcing. We love each other and are committed to working through this, but we haven't told our children yet. We plan to get professional advice before we do. This isn't something we want to rush into without understanding the best way to approach it for their sake. I know many of you are part of the donor conceived community,

[00:20:12] and I just want to say that while I'm very aware and involved in spaces like We Are Donor Conceived, and I follow creators like Laura High, Dona Dillon, The Queer Mama, Rachel, strangers like MeDC, Sunny, Evie Lucas, etc. I'm not going in speaking to anyone publicly about our situation. I'm really proud of people like Victoria Hill for going public, but that's not what's best for my family right now. Thanks again for listening, for the advice, and for your understanding. We're taking this one day at a time.

[00:20:42] A commenter says to AP, So very impressed with you both. This must be such hard work, and my heart goes out to you as a donor. This is my greatest fear. I was not anonymous by choice. Back in the day, the fertility clinics capitalized our naivety. I can only wish you the best going forward, because like you said at the very beginning, it's an incredibly overwhelming situation that just needs to be dealt with in the best way for you and your family. But 40 other siblings,

[00:21:11] all that live nearby. I was just thinking about the children as they get older, you know, that's 40 siblings in the same town. As they get older, are they going to have to check DNA before they start dating people? Gee, bloody whiz. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. That is just, that's thrown my head, this one. Just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time,

[00:21:40] always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.