I Overheard My Fiancee Say Her Family COMES FIRST And Everyone Else Is Background

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider the Like, Subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a throwaway account who says overheard fiancé say her family comes first and everyone else is background.

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_00] Back story. I met my fiancé Rosa a few years ago in college. We hit it off immediately and started dating in our senior year of college and have been together for a little over five years now. I proposed to her a few months ago. She accepted and we're getting married this summer. She's wonderful. The smartest, funniest and prettiest woman in the room wherever she goes. By far the most important person in my life.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00] Rosa is Middle Eastern and told me from the beginning that she's very family orientated. The best friend Sophia is of the same ethnic origin. And the pair have been best friends since they were kids. One night Rosa was at my house when Sophia called saying she was upset about something in her family. So I told my fiancé that she should invite her friend over and they can talk. I was pretty tired anyways. Sophia came over, I greeted her, then went upstairs to go to bed.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00] About half an hour later I came downstairs to get water when I heard my fiancé saying something to Sophia along the lines of, Yeah, I mean honestly the only people I really care about are my parents and brothers. I couldn't live without them. Everyone else is background. It hurt. A lot. Especially the way she said it. Not even in a malicious way, just in a this is how it is way. As though there's no debate because truly no one else matters.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00] Her best friend, who would also be categorized as background by that logic, agreed and said she also viewed her immediate family as a top priority. But her best friend isn't in a long term relationship where she's engaged to be married. I went back upstairs and couldn't sleep. When Rosa came back I told her I overheard it and it hurt me. She responded with, I'm not gonna lie to you. My parents and brothers come first.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00] I promise you once we're married and build a life together then you and our kids will come first. But those feelings aren't something we can force. I didn't say anything to her after she said that but took my pillow to go sleep in another room. She didn't follow me or make any effort to show that she cared. Even though I do that for her whenever she's upset. When I brought it up the next day she repeated what she said before. I know I can't force her to feel anything. And I wouldn't want to have to force her to love me more than anyone else.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00] But if you ask me who my number one person is, I would say her in a heartbeat. Am I unreasonable when I say I want my future wife to love me as much as I love her? The first commenter said on this one, Oh man, my soon-to-be ex-wife's family came first always. We dated, we got married, parents still in picture being number one. Then the children came. I just moved down the ladder. But her family always came first or close second to kids.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00] In my experience, red flag with brothers, sisters, parents already so high up. It doesn't change. Even if she tells you this. Wait till after kids. You will feel like the fifth wheel. The commenter says it's dangerous to go into a marriage hoping for a change that will make you happy. That's all I have to say. Another commenter says, I'm not seeing this in other commenters so I'll say it. This is a recipe for horrible in-laws. If there's an argument, and there will be, her family will win.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00] She will say but mum and dad make sense or something like that. Also when she says you and the future kids will move up the ladder, she means kids. They will be her new priority. She might have labelled you in her mind as not as important since you two were just dating. So it could change now. But if you don't see it before marriage, I'd suggest you bail or be okay with being secondary. Another commenter says, Middle Eastern male, 23, reporting in. Family comes first.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00] But that's not the same thing as her saying she doesn't care about you. The culture is heavily founded around the family setting. It's weird to explain. These people have been with her since birth. They are a support system and are heavily involved in her life, her successes, and her failures. No matter what, family is there when we need them. No matter how often or how inconvenient. No questions asked. They have your back always. That's not a relationship that forms in a couple of years, even at the beginning of marriage.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00] However, that doesn't mean you do not matter to her or are as a background as you feel. She is choosing to marry you and let you become family. Seeing as where she holds family, you're probably a bigger deal to her than she let on. But her choice of words was poor. The way she said it, I can understand why you felt hurt. But it probably doesn't mean what you think it does to her. Saying that family comes first and everyone is background probably doesn't put you nearly as far back as you feel it did.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00] And also is probably an inaccurate description of her feelings towards you. Be clear with what you mean to each other. Then make your decisions at the relationship from there. We are blunt folk and don't always think about the way things we say will be interpreted. Mainly because we do not understand how it works outside of Middle Eastern culture. I know my people are difficult. I apologize and good luck. Sorry about formatting. I'm a mobile. Commodore says,

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know her though. So I think more talks about it. Especially since this conversation weighs on you or in order. What bothers me? And maybe this bothers you too. But those five years you've spent together, they aren't part of building a life? Now clearly there's cultural stuff going on in this situation. The Middle Eastern commenter saying about family comes first is in, is almost like it's hardwired in some places.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00] But if I heard what OP heard and then the way she described it afterwards, you know, I'd be absolutely concerned. The once we're married, you'll matter. It's just, it's a bit concerning, right? I mean, five years together, engaged, planning a wedding and he's still what, background? And then when you're married, suddenly this is all going to change? And the commenter for was also, was also on the ball as well. Like, what does coming first actually mean in day-to-day life?

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00] Like when our parents disagree with their parenting choices, perhaps? Whose call is it? When a brother needs money or something along those lines, what happens then? You know, we've seen far too many horror stories where we see parents overriding choices, etc. I'm not saying it's going to happen, but you can't walk into a marriage blindly not knowing all this kind of information. But it was 19 days later that OP came in with an update and said Rosa and I talked the next day over dinner. The very brief summary of the conversation is something like this.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_00] I said, you are without a doubt my number one, but I'm not for you. That's not something I can get over. Rosa said, I promise once we marry, get a home together, have children, all of that, truly build a life together. You and our children will be my number one. OP said, what about your family? Rosa said, they're number one too. You would be equal. Here's the thing. Rosa isn't wrong. At all.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00] Love isn't a competition and family is very important. That being said, we simply have two different viewpoints on life. I want to have my own family, love them above everything else, and know that my wife and I are loving partners who don't have anyone else who comes even remotely close to that love. That's what I want. Maybe it's the stereotypical too independent American viewpoint. And if it is, then I'm okay with that. It's just as valid than her conservative slash traditional Middle Eastern perspective.

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00] I just realized in that conversation that I don't want to have to spend my entire life fighting for my wife's love. There's only one of me, but on the other side there is a mom, her dad, two brothers, a cousin she considers to be a sister, and a bevy of extended family. What happens when the one person she loves disagrees with 10 plus people she loves just as much? I lose. Every time. I don't have much family in the area.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00] Our future children will be accepted and enveloped within Rosa's family. Again, there's one person versus 10 plus people. At the end of the day, Rosa, her family, and our future children will be ethnic Jordanians, while I'm still just the white guy who married Rosa. She's already told me that her aunts and uncles aren't big fans of me because I'm not Arab. And I don't think that will magically change once we get married. I plan on breaking it off with Rosa tomorrow over lunch.

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00] I'm nervous just thinking about it, and remembered this post, so I thought I'd give you all an update. A commenter says to OP, OP, please don't break up over lunch. The last thing either of you is going to want is plates of food in front of you. And if you're planning this for a restaurant, ending a committed relationship in public? No, no. Please give it a courtesy of some privacy and an uninterrupted by food or other time for this difficult conversation. A commenter replies saying, yeah.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_00] After a five-year relationship, does he expect us to just smile, finish a falafel, and leave without incident? The restaurant is a bad idea. A commenter replies saying, she'll be turned off falafels forever. A commenter replies, that's impossible. Falafel is love. A commenter says, coming from a Middle Eastern descent family, but grew up here in the US Americanized, I know exactly what you were talking about. When you marry from the Middle East, you don't just marry them, you marry the whole family.

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00] It's certainly different than what some people are accustomized to, but it's a cultural thing. You marry the woman and get invited into the family becoming one of them. Whereas a lot of Western individuals view marriage as leaving your family and starting one with your wife. I agree with you, but I think it'll cause problems in the future. There is a huge cultural thing about taking care of your parents. It's not unusual in Middle Eastern families to be all living under one roof. Husband, wife, in-laws, and maybe an uncle to boot.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00] The commenter says, I have to wonder if Opie is misunderstanding and taking too literally what fiance said. Because if they married, he wouldn't be secondary to the family. He'd be part of the family. I imagine a fiance sees this very differently. And it might even be unfair to make her prioritize husband over family. Because it doesn't make sense. It's a false dichotomy when husband is family too. It's possible that insecurities about not being accepted into the family is what's mainly at play.

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_00] Commodore says, I feel you're being a bit rash because your feelings are hurt. I also feel like you're crazy if you think she's going to calmly let you throw away five years in some restaurant as if she's some chick you've been with for two months. Especially over a cultural issue. I personally think this is an issue that can be worked out and don't see how dumping her is going to make your life any better. Commodore says, I think you made a wise decision. Just speaking on behalf of my parents' crap of a marriage. Dad always put his four sisters in front of my mother and us kids.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_00] He's still an arsehole. And now I'm married, I see everything. I feel badly my mom had to endure being low on his priority list. And that was OP's last post on the matter. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from a throwaway account again. And it's titled,

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_00] Can't be sure my wife is being honest about a male co-worker. I'm an attorney, male 33. And my wife, female 27, is a group fitness instructor at a sort of posh gym. We've been together for seven years, married for three. And I've never once questioned her about men or trust. She followed me all through college and law school until we, until last night, have the relationship everyone seems to want. She and I have always been head over heels in love.

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00] Our honeymoon phase never really ended, but something happened last night that threw me for a loop. And I can't tell if I'm in my head or if something else is going on. There was a fellow trainer she works with. He's a decent looking guy. Perhaps you could say he is a knockoff Liam Hemsworth. I always had a somewhat weird feeling, but because I wish trusted her, it was always fleeting. Here's the facts. Last night, she left her phone on the couch to go get water. I was still seated.

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_00] I saw it light up with a Snapchat notification. I had no idea she downloaded it. It was from the co-worker. It was just an emoji of a monkey covering his eyes. It disappeared. I said, I didn't know you Snapchat co-worker. She responded that she snapped all of her co-workers. Lie number one. My gut tells me something, so I asked to see it. She reluctantly hands it over and I see in her snap history that she snaps him, her sister,

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_00] and then the next names were all snaps from like 75 weeks ago. My red flags go off and I start asking questions. Very calmly, I may add. She responds to everything with, I don't know. I ask, what is he responding to? She says, I don't know. I say, how often do you snap him? She says, I don't know. You said you Snapchat your other co-workers, yet they aren't here. What is going on? I don't know. She is purposely being evasive. Lies, lies, lies.

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_00] How do you not know these answers? After more prodding, she says he hit on her a month ago and that she shut it down and didn't tell me because she loves her job and didn't want to jeopardize it. None of these explanations satisfy me. I'm not a fool. I mean, even if we take everything she says as true, the way I see it is that she's continuing to snap a guy who once hit on her on a medium designed to disappear your communications.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_00] I left the house and she called me crying and said she was scared and that nothing happened and she should have told me and that she deleted Snapchat. She said she loved me with all her heart, that I'm her puzzle piece and that she would do absolutely anything and everything to make this better, that she is lost without our love, etc. I can't get over this. Please offer help and advice. I never thought I would experience this. The commenter says to OP, that text exchange between them was a lie, dude.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_00] You said that you looked and three only Snapchats were with him and her sister and the rest was 75 weeks ago. So then how was he responding to something she snapped to a whole class? And if they went through the trouble of making that shit up, it's because the truth is a whole lot worse. You got yourself a cheater, buddy. OP says context. The claim is that the emoji is a response to a story she posted that everyone can see. That story was her posting a video of making the class do 50 burpees.

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_00] She claims she's active on Snapchat stories regarding her workout classes. This is a question for anybody. I'm not really sure how Snapchat works, but if I responded to her story, then he would be at the top of her list, right? Like I said, the history showed him, her sister, a friend. Then it was snaps from weeks and weeks ago. This is not denial. This is me giving you, the audience, all information. I'm still not okay with what is happening with her.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_00] Red Spectrum says that still doesn't explain why she wouldn't answer anything but I don't know to every question you asked her. If it was from just a workout story, why did she feel the need to hide it? If it was that innocent, I think she would have told you what it was about right away. And to be honest, their convo sounds scripted as fuck to me. OP says I wish I could disagree with you, but I can't. Ginger Lorac says the most troubling thing here is your wife's response.

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know to every question is unacceptable and suggests guilt. You should talk to her and ask her why she kept responding with that instead of just answering you honestly. It sounds like she's engaged in a little snap flirting with someone she knows is into her, which may or may not be the end of the world. You have to decide if you consider that cheating or if it's a small indiscretion that you can talk through and move on from. OP says yeah, that's my crossroad. For me, it's the experience of the lack of trust.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_00] That's not concrete infidelity, but if I can't trust you, then it's pretty over for me. Period. OP first comes in with a brief update and says we've been talking and I've illustrated some new boundaries, even though I won't babysit her. She volunteered access to all of her accounts on social media, etc. I highly doubt I'll look. And I know if she really was engaging in something, she could have deleted stuff, but it's a start. Second, she reached out to him and I saw a text exchange with him.

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_00] Again, I realized this could have been orchestrated, but here's how it went down. Why'd you send the monkey? I was replying to your story, making the class do 50 burpees. Then says my husband saw it and started asking questions. He's upset. He says tell him I'm sorry. I won't snap you anymore. I've always liked him. Wife says I think you shouldn't talk to me on social media anymore. He said I agree. I apologized if I caused any problems. Who knows if I can trust this or not.

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_00] That sounds all a bit weird to me, but OP says I cannot tell you all how much I appreciate your responses. Thank you. It was an update that I put at the bottom of the original post and would love to get people's thoughts on it. I'm leaning towards a trust but verify approach right now. This girl really does love me. And if you see my responses to people's questions, you'll see that aside from this, we have a very affectionate and strong relationship. My trust is shaken and I'm not dumb. I'm going to proceed with sharp eyes and extra caution.

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00] Divorce is not easy for legal and emotional reasons. And I'm just not ready to go there over this, especially at this point. That free alternative says, This trust but verify idea is just another way of saying don't trust. Having full access to your partner's social media is a level of surveillance and control typically only found in abusive relationships. I think there's clearly some stuff going on between you two, which you need to talk about. But I would consider this move far worse than flirting with a co-worker.

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_00] You need to find a way to rebuild trust instead of making trust unnecessary. Otherwise, you won't have a relationship with your wife. Just a woman in a box. Mary Ray says she should be able to pull up the story he was responding to. That doesn't help a whole lot, but it helps a bit. But she already deleted the app. Not going to lie. The good thing about Snapchat is that, to my knowledge, it always keeps how long you've been messaging someone. What I mean is, hypothetically, not to get you scared, if it was me and I wanted to keep talking to this person,

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00] I could easily just iMessage or any data-orientated app. Not regular text since you can find that on a phone bill. And simply delete the messages and that's probably safer than Snapchat. Snapchat shows how often they talk based on numbers and emojis next to their name. So even if you don't see what they are writing, which you wouldn't see if she deletes them on a regular messaging app, you still see how long and how roughly how much they talk. At least in relation to other people on a snap. Opie says,

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_00] It was also recorded and posted like an hour before his emoji, but I'm still not 100% convinced. She deleted the app, so I'm not sure what can be done unless she re-downloads it. And it keeps that information. Where does it show how often people snap? If what you say is true and re-downloading it keeps that info, this could all be resolved quite easily. Opie adds another update and says,

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_00] Tonight, I'm going to have her put her money where her mouth is. Have complete access to your stuff. Okay, I'm going to ask her to re-download Snapchat. People keep telling me there are lots of emoji types that show up if you frequently snap someone. I'll open the app and see if any of these appear by his name. Hopefully that'll resolve some of this crap. If there are fire or heart emojis or whatever, then divorce is probably the answer or counseling, whatever. If there are no emojis, I can definitely move forward or at least start to. Another update says,

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_00] She came home last night and I asked her to re-download Snapchat and show me his name. She did and there were no emojis by his name, but there were emojis by her sister's name. This means she and her co-worker don't snap frequently. This issue is not fixed, but that is the update right now. But then Opie came in with another update four days later. I said, First off, thanks to those that gave thoughtful responses. And thanks to those who educated me about Snapchat and getting the data exported.

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_00] I exported the data and it checks out with her story. She and him had barely had contact. Also, I had a re-download 20 hours after his original snap, the app, and there was no emojis by his name. I also checked the phone records and she has never called him. We have talked extensively and I'm pretty convinced she felt like something looked bad and sort of shut down when I started asking questions. Getting nervous, hence the parade of I don't knows. Her cheating just doesn't add up.

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_00] She was always affectionate and loving. Plus, and this might be too much information, she had hairy as fuck legs. People, when they are cheating or sleeping with someone new, tend to exhibit behavior like grooming or making themselves up more than they used to. I seriously doubt she'd be sleeping with someone new, yet not shave her legs for like a while. We are both so busy recently. We have just been go, go, go. She works two jobs and I started to work as an attorney just a couple of months ago.

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_00] It has been hard and we've been romantic, but sex has been less than normal. We are going on a romantic date this weekend to re-spice things up. Also, to those being dicks about me being an attorney, I'm a corporate lawyer. I don't make a living cross-examining people. Still, I think I handled things quite logically. The main advice I do wish I took from commenters is that I should have not acted immediately when I saw the snap.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00] It would have been more beneficial, especially if there was cheating, for me to watch and wait and not let her know I noticed something. Sometimes emotions get the better of judgment. Again, thank you to those that gave thoughtful and helpful comments about how to proceed. I'm grateful it was much ado about nothing. Obviously, she should have told me the guy hit on her in the past, but we're working past that. I think if she had shut down and been elusive with I don't knows, this would have been resolved pretty easily.

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_00] It's not like I became angry or super interrogative. I asked some questions and her elusiveness caused things to accelerate. It was a spark that kindled a fire of suspicion. Thanks everyone who is measured in their responses to posts in this community. So, of course, people had stuff to say about this within the comments as well. Aggressive Cleaning says that's good. Had to laugh at the leg hair comment. I'm a woman and you're spot on there. Collective Clothing says me too. Woman here.

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_00] If I'd be getting sexy times with a new guy, I'd death be shaving. Otherwise, I'd just let that shit grow out if I'm busy and cover up with pants at work. Hope he is spot on. This is a sure sign. Pizza is bae says very true. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I red-lighted him a few times because I was stubbly. Because we were seeing each other impromptu and had to hurry to get ready. He always laughed at all and assured me as long as I don't look like a wookie, he does not care.

[00:24:14] [SPEAKER_00] Original Fraggle says Jesus Christ, her story was entirely plausible. And you went right off the deep end because you're so insecure about yourself. If my partner immediately accused me of cheating or went off the deep end demanding answers, if one of my male co-workers messaged me outside of normal hours, I would have a massive argument about boundaries and control. Why did you even open the message? That's psycho-controlling territory. I would never open my partner's snaps.

[00:24:40] [SPEAKER_00] I might call out and tell him his phone buzzed or have a quick glance at the screen to see if it's his mum, but otherwise it's his correspondence. No wonder she didn't want to answer your questions. You say you're in the honeymoon period still, but that means you should still trust her, right? You still don't sound convinced that your wife is trustworthy, and that speaks more about you than about her. And to clarify, the most frustrating thing about your previous post was the endless supply of comments and none of them speaking up for your marriage or your wife.

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_00] Obi says, We've been together for seven years. We don't just hide shit. Being open-booked with one another is why my trust was so shaken in the moment. We just don't hide stuff. That's why the very fact she re-downloaded the app and was messaging him raised questions. Her failure in the inability to answer then made suspicions greater. That's how things escalated. The whole reason for this was that, in the seven years, I've never once suspected anything. Ever.

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_00] This was the first time, and considering I've never yelled or lost control, says magnitudes that I'm not a psycho-controlling jealous type. The fact that she was offering to do anything to alleviate the issue, I think speaks volumes for the relationship. Don't be so quick to judge. Commodore says, So, you conduct surveillance on your wife, admit you found no evidence she's done anything wrong, and are still suspicious and don't trust her. And still blaming her for it, even though you logically know she didn't do anything wrong.

[00:26:05] [SPEAKER_00] Dude, you need therapy. And stop calling it her story, because that still shows total distrust. The words you're looking for are the truth. Perhaps the parade of I don't knows is because she was getting interrogated by her husband and knew nothing she said would appease him. Her Snapchatting isn't going to ruin your marriage. Your distrust is. It's poison, and it will eat your relationship alive. You can see she did nothing wrong, yet you still want access to all her accounts, and are very much babysitting her,

[00:26:33] [SPEAKER_00] despite your claims to the contrary. That's not a marriage. That's being under surveillance. And in quotes, I think I handled things quite logically, and says, I hope your logic is a comfort to you when your wife decides she doesn't want to be married to a man who doesn't trust her. In quotes again, saying my flags go off and I start asking questions. Very calmly, I may add, how do you not know these answers? Bing says, I don't buy the very calmly thing. She wouldn't have been so upset if you were very calm. Also, if you grabbed her phone

[00:27:02] [SPEAKER_00] before she saw what he was responding to. How the hell was she supposed to know? If my husband asked me how often I text and snap a friend, I'd go, I don't know, because I don't keep a running tracker of my texts to people. I'm a busy person. I don't have time for that kind of bullshit. Not to mention, she can't control who responds to her stories. You're way overreacting. I've co-workers message and reply to me on social media when I didn't solicit it. What is she supposed to do? Help everyone with a penis at her place of employment

[00:27:31] [SPEAKER_00] not to respond to anything she posts? That won't make her job awkward or weird at all. It's going to make all of her co-workers think she's an abused woman terrified of you though. I wonder how far off the mark that is. I've also had co-workers reply with emojis to things I've posted. I never thought anything of it because I'm not a cheater or a weirdo. Why not just ban her from social media? At least that won't embarrass her in front of her co-workers. Quoting one more time, she followed me all through college and law school

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_00] and we until last night have a relationship everyone seems to want and then says if your relationship is ruined by some random person commenting a monkey on a Snapchat, your relationship was and is trash. Opie responds again saying you weren't there. I was very calm. The convo started with me saying I didn't know you had Snapchat and I didn't know you Snapchat co-worker. She got nervous and kind of weird which prompted more questions. I've never been the jealous type. Ever. The fact that my internal red flags went off

[00:28:29] [SPEAKER_00] made me ask more questions. The whole thing would have been over with basic honesty. That is how relationships last for the long run. Opie adds one more update and says Jesus keep calling either my wife a liar or me a psychopath. I came to Reddit for clarity. Big mistake. Maybe 5% of the responses were actually responding to and read the actual post. Most probably read parts of it and injected their own stories. I became some weird controlling brute. We're not teens dating. When you're married and it's for life

[00:28:58] [SPEAKER_00] certain things change. For one, privacy is still respected but you don't get a complete free pass on every single thing. If you want your spouse to feel comfortable, if she wants to see my social media or has questions, she can ask and I'll answer them. You take vows and if you mean them you devote yourself to making the other spouse comfortable. Like I said in the original, this guy had always been giving me a weird feeling but it was fleeting. Now I realize it is probably because my gut knew he was hitting on my wife so it was right.

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_00] Second, if you actually read you'll see that I've never once in 7 years questioned my wife about men or asked to see her stuff. So I got a red flag feeling based on Snapchat and I asked some questions and boom, I'm a psycho with raging trust issues. Your wife needs to leave you. You're emotionally and verbally abusive. Jesus read it. Yes, I verified. But Jesus, not only did she offer to show me her stuff but the previous thread was all comments about how the monkey emoji means something more

[00:29:57] [SPEAKER_00] than that she's cheating blah blah. Of course, I'm going to check to be sure. Marriage is serious. You can't just break up. There are so many things that go into leaving a marriage. You have legal, emotional and social consequences and it's much harder and more serious than just breaking off a relationship. I verified and my wife and I are good now. We're glad we went through this conundrum because it reinforced how much we love one another because she thought she was going to lose and I her. Even if it was only for a period of hours.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_00] I'm glad I was wrong but I'm also glad I verified I was wrong. And there was many people just on the back of this pointing out the difference in the comments between the two posts like in the first one people saying OP's wife potential cheating and looking into it etc etc and in the second one like OP responding to people calling him abusive etc and not trusting his wife. So now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_00] make of this situation? How would you have dealt with that if it was you? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care and much love

[00:31:17] wake up wake up get up stretch my legs

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_01] eat some brush my teeth up wash my face don't mind I can smell the smoke from the bacon let's go