I GHOST My Entire Family After The Ultimate Betrayal - Now They Want Back In | r/BestOf

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well, you bloody cheeky so and so. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider in the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_00] Now today's first story comes from KillMeLikeASoop who says, My mother, 66 female and father, 67 male, want back into my life, 28 female, after a three year gap following my mother's affair with my ex-boyfriend, 30 male. Oh dearie me. This one's got trigger warnings of stalking, harassment, infidelity and accusations of abuse as well. So if you do want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_00] And along the timeline below. Thank you. It says, God, where do I actually begin with this mess? I was with Dickhead, ex-boyfriend and now only called DH for nearly five years. We met in college and it hit off. Never had a fight or anything of that nature. I'm fairly level headed and always seek communication first, which worked out really well in our favor.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00] When we finished up our courses, I got a job close to my family and moved back with Dickhead in tow. He eventually got a good job too and everything seemed perfect. Then, three years ago and just afterward become engaged. His idea alone, I'd had no idea he even wanted to get married. I came home early one day to find him having sex with my mom. Trust me, when I saw that, if I could have burned my eyes out of my head at that point, I would have.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00] I literally had nightmares for months after him taking a doggy style over the kitchen table. Long story short, I threw the engagement ring at him, pushed my crying mother away from me and took off. I obviously told my father straight away who wasn't surprised to my horror. Apparently, they'd been talking about opening their relationship for a while and had just done so.

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00] She had never told him who she intended on partnering with. He actually said that maybe I needed to really think whether monogamy was really the right way and what harm was there really in my mom having a little fun with DH. You have to understand at this point that my dad gets into phases where he gets completely absorbed into lifestyles he reads about and thinks they suit him better. Such as when we were young, he went through a phase where he felt that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle is the right way and got us all learning to hunt.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00] As hard as that was to stomach my father saying that to me, I knew that what happens to them is their own business. My dad had basically approved my mother's betrayal of me. This is where I really lucked out. Thank you, personal finance advisor I went to during college. I'd been the only one of us saving for a house and had a nice tidy sum of money locked up in my account. So I left, took off. No note, no message.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00] Handed in my notice at my job, rang my landlord and paid whatever it took to free me from the lease. I left all the furnishings and stuff I owned because I just didn't care. I packed a bag of clothes and essentials, got into my car and went. I had a blast. I crossed the states in the best road trip I've ever had all by myself. I eventually found another job on the west coast and have worked it ever since.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00] Met my husband and had a really small wedding as neither of us are big on those sort of things and now have a beautiful three-month-old son after a pretty hard pregnancy. In all that time, I only kept in touch with my sisters. They attended my wedding secretly as I didn't want my parents knowing anything about my life as they'd only try to come to and ruin it all. They were the first to hear of my pregnancy, etc. My husband knows everything, by the way, just in case you're wondering. The problem I'm faced with is that my younger sister confessed to my parents everything.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00] About where I am, about the fact that I'm married and that I've had a baby. I've not been able to get in touch with my sis since I started getting letters and phone calls from them. It's all one big giant guilt trip. They whine about how much they miss me, how much they've missed such important events in my life and how they want to know their first grandchild. Not an hour ago, I got a voice message from Dickhead who was blubbering a sob story over how he thought I was dead or something. About how devastated he was and still is that I left him and now to find out that I've moved on.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00] My husband is a star. He's basically just said that whatever I decide, he'll stand behind me 100%. My real issue is that my resolve is starting to crack. I look at my son and think that maybe he should know them. I mean, he has wonderful grandparents and my in-laws, but surely he should know my own family too. I just need advice here. Should I stay strong or are they in the right that I shouldn't have done what I did? This is all kind of messed up, isn't it? Poor OP.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00] I can't imagine how they felt walking into that house and seeing that. But then the fucking dad's response at the same time basically turned around and said, Have you maybe considered being more open-minded about it? It's like, oh, piss off, mate. And I was really gutted for OP that she basically had to leave everything that she owned behind. But at the same time, I don't blame her. She went on a road trip, got a new job, new city, new husband, new baby, a full life speedrun. And I was like, bloody good on you, mate.

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00] And I find myself saying this in a lot of stories, but how do you look at these people again? You know, they're guilt tripping you now. But after what they've done, your own family's betrayed you in the worst way possible. Now they have the cheek to come at you with guilt tripping. Cheeky bastards. And I always think about the history of these family dynamics. Obviously, we haven't got that info, but I bet it's bloody awful. A commenter says to OP, That is a harrowing story. And I'm sorry that you went through that.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00] I just look into a few things from your story. Quoting, He actually said that maybe I needed to really think whether monogamy was really the right way. Then says, What the fuck? That's what he has to say to his daughter at that point. And, Quoting, They whine about how much they miss me. How they miss such important events in my life and how they want to know their first grandchild. And then says, So the important things in this situation are all about them. I think you might want to mosey over onto r slash raised by narcissists. OP says, You know,

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00] I'm so used to my father saying stuff like that that I couldn't see it as being so dreadfully different from his normal. It was only when my husband mentioned to me a few minutes ago whether I could imagine saying something like that to our child. God, Maybe I should go to that subreddit. Mooster Man says, First of all, I can't imagine how much the betrayal must have hurt. And you're amazing for moving on and finding a happy life. As for your parents, If you can go back, You're a better person than me. The fact that they are guilt tripping you after everything,

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00] Plus the fact that Dickhead knows your situation and contact details shows they're still in contact with him. And that in all probability, Nothing has changed. It appears to me you are the only one who seems to have suffered any real hurt. And for that, Or let sleeping dogs lie with this one. Opie says, It did hurt a lot at the time because I lost everything. I couldn't stay and had to leave it all behind. Not so much anymore. My new life is great. I just sometimes feel a little weak when I think of all the stuff I thought me and my mother would have done together.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00] Like getting ready for the baby and buying my wedding dress. Luckily, My husband's mother is the sweetest woman I've ever met. She'd become my mom. Mooster Man comes back in and says, In those weak moments, Ask yourself what you get out of re-establishing contact with your parents, Or more specifically, Your mother. Are you looking for some sort of closure or is it just going to reopen old wounds? Your parents seem like very selfish people, So you need to adopt the same stance when dealing with them. Best of luck. Opie replies saying,

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00] I don't think closure is ever really possible. I guess I do miss my mother as I knew her, But I can't ever get her back. Even now I think of her and I just see that fucking kitchen all over again. I think the contact has to stop really. I just know what they're like. If their letters and stuff don't get through, Then I'd imagine they'd turn up at my door. I'm actually half terrified that they're on their way right now. So much so that I've even mentioned to my husband about selling up and moving. He's not impressed at that. And by not impressed, he means at my parents.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00] And they caused that sort of fear in me. That I'd give up on our family home to escape them. Someone asks, How did Dickhead get a number? Opie says I have no idea how he knows or even got my number. But I'd imagine he did get it from them. I don't want to even think of the possibilities of that. It's entirely their own business. But I can totally see your point as horrible as it is. As for my husband, I'm certain he's safe. But I can see what you mean. I don't want him feeling in any way insecure over an asshole from my past.

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00] My only fear is that they know where I live. I just have this horrible pit in my stomach that one day they'll just turn up at my door. I've been talking to my husband about maybe looking into moving. The most he's willing to do is go and stay with his parents for a few days. So Opie comes in with their first mini update within the same post. And says, Hey guys, Just want to say really quickly just how blown away I am by all the messages and support. Even those who say that this is fake, as you guys validate every time I've ever told somebody my parents are dead,

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00] rather than having to tell the truth. So thanks for that. Just a really short update in that my sister got in touch. We'll be talking properly in another hour when she's free. So I'm bracing myself for that talk. I tried to update you all eventually, but actually found this really therapeutic. Special thanks for those who suggested r slash raised by narcissists. I've read a few threads and it's really been eye-opening to see what I had thought as normal was completely removed from it. Thanks again, everyone.

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_00] So then it was six weeks later that Opie came in with their full update and said, Hey everyone. Original, then shares the link to that post and then says, It's been quite a while since I last posted and things have been a little crazy. So posting an update was firmly pushed to the back of the to-do list until today. Before I start, I just want to say thanks so much to all those who replied, even those who said this was fake. I have no idea how good it was to see people who honestly believe this was so far out that it couldn't be real.

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_00] It really helped solidify my decision that they weren't getting any more contact. My younger sister and I talked. To be honest, it was not a pleasant conversation. I was essentially berated for not being forgiving enough, that family is family, and that I was cheating our parents from being a part of my life and that of my sons. Thankfully, and in no small part due to all of you knocking some sense into me, I basically told her to fuck off and hung up the phone. I cried for a long time. I hadn't seen this coming at all and it really hurt.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00] Almost as bad as when this had all exploded the first time. What really has me confused is what happened to her that had created this huge swing in opinion that suddenly I'm the bad guy for wanting a normal life without my parents ruining it again. Even now, I have no idea what happened, only that she woke up one day and now thinks I'm the worst person in the world. So, after that was where my husband really stood up. He bundled me and the small one into a car and drove us all up to his parents' place for a few days.

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_00] He called them and explained everything that was happening and his mother insisted that we get away from the house for a bit to have a break away from it all. When we got there, his mom nearly smothered me with kindness. She's very much a mummy person and took every opportunity to babysit my son and leave me rest. My husband, while I was relaxing and unknowing of what he was up to, called my other sister and got her up to speed in what was going on. From what I can tell, since it's been all out war between them and my parents. My older sister, from now called B,

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_00] barged over that very night and apparently read the riot act to our younger sister, M. It got pretty heated from what I can tell and since then, B has cut M off completely, which is a huge problem for M as B helped fund her way through college. After that fight, B got into a car and drove all the way back to our parents' house and there it got even messier. She rang after to tell my husband that our parents had actually been packing suitcases when she arrived. They'd bought plane tickets to our state and planned on leaving midway during that week. B blew up.

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00] The fight was pretty brutal, I'm sure. B is razor sharp with things and then she left. She couldn't convince them to not travel over to me. She left with what details she could get of their flight times. My husband decided that he wouldn't tell me just yet. My freak out earlier at them potentially turning up had convinced him that I needed to be uninvolved in this as possible. Instead, he left me at his parents while he went back to our house to wait for them to arrive. When they did, he apparently answered the door and told them to get off his property.

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_00] My father and him had a blazing argument which ended when he tried to break down the door, which my husband used as prime motivation to call the police. When they arrived, my father tried to claim that my husband was keeping me caged up like a prisoner and not allowing me to see my family. I know this because I received a phone call and visit from the local PD in his parents' area to follow up on the claim. That also alerted me to the fact that they'd followed up on the threat and had actually crossed the country to reach me. So, they've gone back east as they couldn't get anywhere near me or my baby,

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_00] but since then, the trouble hasn't stopped. We've gotten at least eight notices from their lawyers in regards to getting access to our son. Our own told us that it was incredibly unlikely that they'd get anything. We've also had four visits from the CPS and PD because of anonymous calls about things from our parenting to me being a battered wife. Our lawyer thinks these are orchestrated so that if the case goes to court, they can point to a record and chalk this one down to me being paranoid. I just have this really bad gut feeling that they've hired a private investigator or something.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_00] B is telling me to hold the line. She's going through something similar herself. She had five police visits in the last month, one of which was apparently over an anonymous call that she was running a brothel. I guess we've really pushed our parents to the edge that they'd rather ruin our lives than leave us alone. As to everything else, we're planning on moving. Not sure when or where yet, but even her husband is growing tired of the drama. We're still in the planning stages and trying to find out every way possible of making sure that if we do move,

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_00] we can legally prevent them from finding out. It's just all so damn tiring. What's sad is that I know this isn't really about me. It's about my baby and my parents trying to exert some sort of control over his life and mine. Today has just been such a long day. Any similar stories or advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated, as today was the first day I find the future just seems a bleak hole of legal entanglements and crazy parents. One of the top commenters says to OP,

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_00] you're in the process of getting a restraining order, right? Nerdy replies saying, I hope she is because this is clearly harassment. She should talk to her lawyer because there are paper trails to CPS complaints and PD calls. If the parents have made several complaints to CPS, and those complaints have been deemed false by CPS, CPS may even go after the parents. OP replies saying, our lawyer is looking into it, but it takes time unfortunately. Right now he's doing really well keeping them at bay with increasingly aggressive counter letters and recording everything that occurs.

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_00] The problem is, they've been very careful not to actually let on us them doing it. Right now, as our lawyer says, it's a case of their word versus ours, and that would secure a far better and more long-term order if we get some proof to back up what we suspect. Unfortunately, the legal aspect isn't considered harassment, and the calls to PD and CPS haven't shown up as them. He's hopeful though, thinks they make a mistake, and we can link them to the calls if they keep doing it. Bloody hell, I hope OP and their family are really able to handle these parents

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_00] because they are absolutely unhinged. And I'm surprised they're not able to get a restraining order easier than this. I know it's really difficult, I've seen stories about it, but it just seems wild that they're willing to do all this and still get away with it, right? But I kind of wonder if uprooting OP's life again, moving away, doing whatever they're going to do, is the best course of action. I know it probably seems like a good choice at the moment, but they're unhinged and determined. If they're willing to fly across the country, hire lawyers,

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_00] flood CPS with fake complaints, and call the police, on a sister too for supposedly running a brothel, it just feels like moving somewhere else is just a temporary inconvenience. And while it's really shit, again, I don't know if this is the right move legally or not, it's just kind of feeling, right? Allowing them to keep digging their holes so you can actually get that restraining order might be a best move. I'm sure people got some better ideas than that, but in my head at the moment, it just feels like that's the only way. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from AwkwardMum13 from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit. And it says, AmITheArseholeHere for being honest with another mum about why my daughter isn't allowed to go to her friend's house. I really need an outside opinion because my family tell me I'm right, but they also don't have to deal with the awkwardness here. I have a daughter, Elena, who is 13.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00] Elena has a friend called Kennedy, who is new at school this year. Kennedy's mum works in the school office, becomes kind of relevant later. So our house is kind of the house. Elena doesn't have a big group of friends, but as long as the kids can get their own snacks and not make noise, anyone's welcome. Because of this, Elena never really goes to anyone else's house. All her friends come to us. We even hosted her friend's birthday sleepovers. A couple of weeks ago though,

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_00] Elena asked if she could sleep over at Kennedy's house as the next day was a family party and Kennedy had been allowed to invite a friend. I said sure. Again, her mum works in the school office. Whenever she comes to pick Kennedy up, she's been polite. I didn't see an issue. But when I went to drop Elena off, my opinion changed. Kennedy's stepdad is the one who answered the door. And I'm not kidding when I say I haven't never felt so immediately disturbed by a person. I can't even explain why. My stomach lurched.

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_00] I immediately felt like I needed to hold some kind of conversation with him so I could at least get a better read on him. I made some small talk on the porch, during which he proceeded to open an alcoholic drink, flirtatiously not believe I was old enough to have a teenage daughter, asking me twice how old she was and telling me how similar we looked. He also demanded in front of me that Kennedy changed her clothes because she was wearing shorts in her own house. Kennedy's mum came home while I was on the porch, which made me feel slightly better. So I left. But when I got home,

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_00] I told my husband he was going to pick Elena up this evening because she was not spending the night there. We made an excuse about a forgotten plan for the next day and fetched Elena before dinner. I don't care if everyone thinks I'm crazy or judges me for not letting her stay on no evidence. I grew up where if you had a feeling, you followed it. My husband agreed with me that Elena wouldn't be going over there again. So last week, I was at a school pickup and bumped into the mum of one of Elena's other friends, who I'm casual friends with. Mum friends, basically.

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00] She mentioned she hadn't seen Elena at Kennedy's that Sunday at the party. Kennedy had invited this other girl to the Sunday party, but not the sleepover. I said no, Elena hadn't slept over. My friend asked if it was because of anything in particular and I was honest and said, I just don't want her going over there because the stepdad gives me the creeps. I told my friend about the interaction and she thanked me for telling her and said she'd probably do the same as me. I thought nothing more of it. It didn't come up again. Except yesterday at school pickup,

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_00] Kennedy's mum came outside and confronted me. She said another mum was now not letting her daughter come over because of males in the house without the mother home and that she knows it was my fault because I was the one who met her husband. She says she knows I lied to pick Elena up early. She accused me of being a snob because Kennedy is at the school on free tuition, which she gets because her mum works there and judging her family based on where they live. None of that is true, but there was no convincing her. I guess I didn't adequately defend myself because firstly,

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00] I was in public and didn't want a scene and second, because being a snob probably sounded better than your husband seems predatory. She then said that I was isolating Kennedy by poisoning the other mum. That I'm not sure I can even say is untrue, but I would want another mum to tell me. You can do what you want with the information, but if I'd never met the stepdad and someone else felt as uncomfortable as I felt, I'd want them to let me know. That's why I told her, because we're all just trying to look out for our kids, but Kennedy's mum seemed more upset than angry. I get this is embarrassing for her.

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00] I also know that I don't have any actual evidence that this man did anything, so now I feel like maybe I was out of line sharing my completely unfounded opinion with my friend. Am I? Do I owe the whole family an apology? Absolutely not. He was protecting your child in your situation and your gut instinct was there and his behaviour was a bunch of red flags on the porch straight away. I mean, cracking open a drink, mid-conversation with a stranger like that, asking what's twice how old the daughter is,

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00] and then carries on with you don't look old enough, the trying to be flirty and all this kind of thing, and then ordering his stepdaughter to cover up in her own home in front of a guest at the same time. You know, any one of those things on its own, it might be nothing. All of those within that short space of time, that's a pattern. And you know, Opie wasn't screaming from the rooftops about this. She was approached by someone and told the honest truth when directly asked. And the fact that she was asking in the first place was making me think,

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00] maybe she had a vibe as well. Obviously, I don't know that, but a commenter says to Opie, I'd rather be seen as an isolating snob than let my child get raped by a man. Eternity Awaits says this, I'll be the bad guy to protect my child any day. Sparkle says, Ever since my kids could understand, I told them that they can use me as an excuse if put into an awkward situation. I've air quotes grounded them, needed them to watch younger siblings, had them signed up for something

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_00] without telling them, etc. Is it honest? Not really, but my nieces also used me to get out of a sleepover where a girl brought a huge bottle of vodka, the size with a handle, and she was not interested in trying it. Good call, as it could not have been quality liquor. I was made out to be the bad guy, but I would do it for any kid that doesn't know how to excuse themselves from a situation. Crazy Pixie Town says, your gut instinct was something you picked up subconsciously that told you he wasn't safe, even if your brain couldn't figure out what it was at the time.

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_00] You were right to take your daughter home. I say this as someone who's been working with sex offenders for almost 20 years. Always trust your gut. They also understand why you told the other mother. If something happened to her child, you would have hated yourself for not saying anything. Better to have been unfairly judgmental, then complacent, and a child potentially getting abused. Hal Shah says, as a dad and a man who isn't a predator, the immediate comments about the daughter's appearance and OP's age put my hackles up, and I wasn't even there.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_00] There are some things you just don't fucking say, especially as your first interaction. Even if you hypothetically picked up on, oh hey, this mom looks young. Also, on an unrelated note, because I'm not a creep, her daughter looks a lot like her. Not knowing that and voicing that would make someone uncomfortable or make you look like a creep in itself is a red flag. Being picky about what your daughter is wearing in her own house is also a red flag. This isn't just a gut feeling thing here. They're observable, empirical reasons why this should set off

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_00] someone's alarm bells. OP is clearly not the asshole here. Arguably, they might have been remiss to not just tell Kennedy's mom how they felt just in case she didn't know, but the reaction tells me she knows and has already developed a reflexive response to cover for him. So, it was nearly a month later that OP came in with her update and said, so the post blew up more than I was expecting. Thank you to everyone who shared their views, whether positive or negative. I've never been in a situation like this. I grew up in a city.

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_00] After the age of 11 and 12, my parents didn't know my friend's parents, there weren't dynamics to navigate or gossip. I handled it as best as I could trying not to offend anyone. I still get messages asking for an update, so here it is. First things first, but everyone wondering how Kennedy's mom, who I'll call Sarah, knew it was her husband, had an issue with, I figured it out. After talking to my husband and getting an actual play-by-play of what happened when he went to pick up Elena that night, it's clear that he implied we were not happy

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_00] with how her husband had conducted himself, so it's not that she automatically knew her husband was the issue. My husband did say that Sarah looked like she knew she had an issue the second he showed up. So, make of that what you will. I don't want to believe any woman could know that there's something not right about her husband and act the fool, but time and time again, that's shown to be the case. Second, some people said my friend, who I'll call Amy, had asked me about the sleepover because she also got weird vibes from the stepdad and that was correct.

[00:24:32] [SPEAKER_00] She said Kennedy's mom had been the one to answer the door at drop-off, but one came to pick up stepped out back while her daughter got her things and she saw the stepdad talking to one of the cousins, a teenage girl, and she was put off by his body language. She didn't realize he was the stepdad until her daughter told him Kennedy's stepdad is a weirdo and described him making inappropriate jokes and demanding physical affection from his stepkids and their cousins. Amy said she was sorry for throwing me under the bus, but Sarah had called her to talk about the girls

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_00] working on a school project at their house and she had felt put on the spot. She admitted me also thinking things about the stepdad had made her trust her gut that it wasn't a good idea for her daughter to go over there again. Amy also said she was going to make a group chat and send a message to other parents in the group and tell them about her experience and asked if I would at least share mine to corroborate. I did think about that long and hard but ultimately I said yes. I didn't share my vibes, just facts about things that had happened but I dropped Elena off. I didn't even say

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_00] we picked her up early. The fact is if the truth makes a person look bad then it is what it is. Parents can decide for themselves but I think it's important that people have the information. I would want someone to put me in the loop if I were in their shoes. It didn't end up as some major gossip session. Every parent thanked us profusely for speaking up and said I'd take these things into consideration and we left it there. I think everyone understood the spirit in which it was meant. I did end up texting Sarah and explaining the situation to her.

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_00] I always text so I can have a record of what was said. I said I didn't have an issue with where she lives but her husband's behavior had made me uneasy about leaving my child there. Founded or not, those were my concerns as a mother which I figured she could understand. I can also understand that she would not agree with my assessment of the situation which is why I didn't want to muddy the waters by making a big deal out of it. I reiterated that Kennedy is welcome at our house and she's a lovely kid and I hope she can understand my position. I also apologized for the misunderstanding.

[00:26:29] [SPEAKER_00] I expected a bit more of a dialogue but she just came back basically saying Kennedy wouldn't be coming over anymore. She wasn't comfortable with her daughter being in my care. I said I hope she changed her mind. Kennedy is always welcome and left it. I wasn't going to argue because I'm not sure if someone said that about my husband I'd let my kid go to their house. Although my husband doesn't behave like hers so it's a non-issue. Kennedy hasn't come over since. Elena said they're still friends and don't blame each other for the drama. I'm so proud of my daughter for her maturity

[00:26:59] [SPEAKER_00] through this whole thing but obviously it's a bit tougher when the girls come over here on weekends and Kennedy can't come. The girls had a sleep over this weekend since when are girls so into car racing that they're holding watch parties and Elena and I made Kennedy a party favor bag to take to school so she can feel a part of it. If I'm brutally honest as great as I think it is that the girls are being mature and not making a big deal about it to Kennedy I'm not sure it will work in the long term. I hope to god I'm wrong and maybe I'm not giving the girls enough credit but it just seems like there's a lot that Kennedy

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_00] can't participate in now. I feel terrible that this has happened and Kennedy's social life has been one of the consequences but I don't see this as being avoidable. We don't trust each other with our kids it's as simple and as complicated as that and through all of this I admit I still don't know if the stepdad is dodgy. My husband looked into him no records of anything to do with kids he might have just been a chauvinistic pig who is of the where's my hug variety. There's a whole range of people between pleasant and dangerous.

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_00] I don't claim to know where he falls but I feel better knowing that I didn't have to face a mother I've known for years thinking I could have stopped something happening to her kid and didn't. And maybe I do have to make peace with a gossipy B word but that at least I can live with. And that's where we're at. I think that's everything but if I've missed anything do let me know. Thank you again to everyone who took the time to comment and helped me not feel so crazy. As always I don't know if my way of doing things will end up being the right way. Maybe there isn't one. We're all just trying to take care of our kids

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_00] doing the best we can. A commenter says to OP for me the bottom line of the original situation is that when my child identifies a person who behaves inappropriately I'm going to confirm that assessment and behave accordingly. Firstly because I don't know this particular guy and he may be an issue. But secondly because the next guy who behaves this way could also be a true predator and my daughter needs to know her gut was not wrong and what to do about it when it's up to her. I'm not going to teach my nine-year-old that weird icky feeling should be swept under the rug so that nobody

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_00] gets mad at me. Fuck a bunch of all that. Empty Spaghetti House says I think this is the most important take in this entire thread. She's teaching her that she respects her daughter's feelings. Daughter said he's a creep. Mum doesn't let her over that house again. In the future she'll be confident telling mum I'm uncomfortable. Knowing mum will actually do something about it. If she had avoided conflict at her daughter's expense here her daughter would learn that she can't count on mum and would be more reluctant to voice her own concerns. Fabulous Minute says I read your original post

[00:29:27] [SPEAKER_00] and honestly think you're not the asshole from another mum's point of view. You used your mama gut to protect your daughter from possible trauma no matter how small the risk might seem to Sarah. I 100% would rather be a snob than in jail for hurting someone who hurt my daughter who'd be traumatized if I had a gut feeling and ignored it. You did the right thing protecting your baby. And the comments on the back of this one just continued to validate OP. Basically saying you know trust your gut his behaviour initially was totally out of line and OP stuck to the facts

[00:29:56] [SPEAKER_00] they weren't insinuating anything they just told what they saw. And of course there was a lot of people talking about Kennedy as well hoping that someone's going to be checking up on Kennedy making sure that she's okay. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_00] Take care and much love.