I Gambled My Savings, Her Savings And Now She's Seen The 'Real Me' And Wants Out | r/AmITheDevil

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider in the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. It would be super cheeky of you by the way. Let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00] Our today's collection of stories are going to be from the AmITheDevil subreddit. Some people love it, some people not so much. I totally get it. But if you do love it, this video is for you, let me tell ya. If you're unfamiliar with the AmITheDevil subreddit, it's a place where it's obvious that the OP is the arsehole. And the first post was cross posted across from EvilFinch and it said,

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00] I broke my bangmaid with ATM function, but it was originally posted from ConstantSunday3335 from the Relationship Advice subreddit. Titled, I, male32, fucked up big time. I broke my wife, female31. English is not my first language.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_00] I, 33 male, married to my wife, 31 female for four years. The starting of the relationship was rainbows and flowers. I wanted to do everything for her. She come from a not so financially stable family. She had never worn expensive clothes, never been on a trip or to a proper restaurant. I was actually very excited that I will be her first time for all these experiences.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00] I wanted to give her the life she never had. I wanted to provide and protect her. She's the kind of woman who loves you the fullest. She loved me unconditionally. She cooked for me. She cleaned the house, did the laundry for me, all while having an eight hours job the same as me. To be honest, I felt she was happy to do all these for me. She even tried to learn new recipes for me.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00] Life started going south when I started doing gambling. I gambled everything. My savings, her savings, my salary, and I even stole from her. She still didn't leave. I started showing all my frustration on her. I became a sadist. It came to an extent that I get relief when I see her sad. I complained about everything she cooked. Started threatening her to give money for gambling. Made extremely hurtful comments.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00] Despite all this, she stayed with me. When I look back, there wasn't even a single day without her crying. Whatever I say, she never left me. And I had this confidence that she would never leave, so I started taking her for granted. She once made a comment that I treat her like a dog, and I replied that, you don't even deserve to be my dog. I cannot fathom how hurtful that must have been for her.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00] A few months back, she got pregnant, and we decided to not keep it, but while she was going through the process, rather than being supportive and helpful. For some reason, God knows, I told her that it wasn't my baby, and she whored and got pregnant. I think something broke inside her from that time. She started being very silent altogether. However, she kept doing her chores and talked to me in a very polite way.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00] Recently, I left my job. She prepared my CV and applied for me in all the companies. However, I never got a call. She somehow arranged an interview for me in her organization, and the interview was yesterday. I asked for a one-time password, is it, from her to create a new profile in a gambling platform, and threatened her that I won't attend the interview if she refused to give the one-time password. But she still refused to give the one-time password, and out of spite, I did not attend the interview.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00] She came back home from the office yesterday evening and started shouting at me. I saw a different her. She said too many hurtful things which is unlike her. She asked me to leave the house, and she said I'm a dead weight and staying at her house rent-free. Today, I messaged her for something, and she replied with, Don't fucking text me ever again. I don't want to fucking see your name in my phone anymore. And she blocked me. I'm dead scared now. I have a feeling that I lost her.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00] I know I fucked up. I know I'm the worst person ever. I know she deserves way better. I now know I am losing her. I realized that I loved her so much. I can't literally live without her. I just need one chance to redeem everything. I want to turn back time and undo everything. I'm ready for anything. I want to give her everything for her. Please, I need advice. I want to win her back. Is there a chance for me still?

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00] The only thing to say in this situation is just to leave her alone and let her live her life. You was abusive towards her, and now she needs to live her life away from you, and she deserves that. You gambled away your own savings. You gambled her savings and her salary. Stole money from her. You was emotionally abusive. You admitted you actually got pleasure from seeing her sad.

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00] You even turned around to her and said she doesn't deserve to even be your dog. She did everything for you, and like you said in your title, you fucked up big time. Now it's time to leave her alone and let her live her life. That would be the best thing you could do in this situation and work on yourself. The top commenter said to OP, I'm glad she left you. Get therapy and leave her alone.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00] Chucklepuss says, right, fuck this dude, because you know what'll happen if she does take him back. He'll go right back to being a massive, selfish, gaping asshole. You fucked around and found out, OP. And I couldn't be happier for your soon-to-be ex-wife. A poor woman. Frogwoman says, you're scared because she finally stuck up for herself. That's what happens when you push someone. Get a divorce and stay single. Another commenter says, a lot of words and abhorrent behavior.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00] But you don't seem to show any introspection into why you did this. Is this just who you are? Act toxic and be horrible then turn around with no accountability. No attempts to fix this. Just keep asking for more from her until she breaks then act shocked. Why are you saying you need one chance when she gave you many in your own recounting of this story? By your own admission, you are the worst. My advice is focus on being a decent human by yourself. You can't have a healthy relationship when you're already this toxic.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00] You'll just hurt others more than you already have. One more from bucktoothed hazelnose who says, of course, there isn't a chance for you. You utter loser. The best news you have is that this is your rock bottom. You get to test what kind of man you really are. A man who owns his mistakes, gets help for his addiction, gets into therapy, improves and wants to make others' lives better. Or a man who wallows in self-pity and continues down a path of being a waste of life. Leave her alone.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00] Pick the right path for your own sake. And the comments just continued like that as well. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story was posted on the Am I the Devil subreddit from Rock Juice. And originally from OKBeautiful2867 from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00] Saying Am I the Arsehole for reporting an 18-year-old girl who added my 14-year-old son on Snapchat. And she posts inappropriate things. My 14-year-old son and this 18-year-old girl both volunteer at an animal shelter near us. They and a few other people in the same age category as them recently were in charge of hosting a charity event for the shelter. Someone made a group chat on Snapchat so they could discuss it.

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00] The 18-year-old added him on Snapchat. I go through my son's phone to make sure he's being safe online. Which he knows. I'm not too familiar with Snapchat so I was clicking on these things on the top. Which showed people's stories but I thought they were messages directly to the person. They were all normal enough until I get to the 18-year-old. It was a video of her vape which had exploded. With text on the screen which said What the fuck? It exploded.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00] And even more swearing in the actual video. I didn't appreciate someone sending a video of a vape and swearing to my son. So I messaged the person on his account saying Who are you? Why did you send me that? Pretending to be my son. She then unfriended my son without responding. I told my son about the situation and he explained those things as stories and for everyone. And it's the girl from the animal shelter. I still thought it was inappropriate of her to add him when she posts such things on there.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00] I told the animal shelter about the situation. And they made it so she couldn't do the event. And now she volunteers on different days to when my son is volunteering. Because I said I'm uncomfortable with her influence in my son. The girl's mother has since messaged me defending her saying I'm a huge arsehole. And that her daughter's really embarrassed. That she only added him in case they needed to talk about the event. And apparently she's got a learning disability so sometimes doesn't realize if things are inappropriate.

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00] But in her opinion her daughter didn't even do anything inappropriate. She just posted about her vape exploding on her story. And naming worse things people could have done. Either way I feel like what she did was really inappropriate. Am I really in the wrong here? So you decided to impersonate your 14 year old son to message an 18 year old girl pretending to be him. And you know when she receives this message

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00] she understandably unfriends him because it's a weird message. You decided to report her to the shelter. Not for anything she did to your son but for a public story she posted on her own account. You know she didn't send him anything. She didn't DM him. She added in for a charity event group chat and posted on her own story like any normal person. And then you got her from an event that she helped organize. And you're wild if you think your son doesn't know about any of this sort of stuff already.

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00] But Pink says oh no not swearing. Now your teenager knows vapes exist. Which she very most definitely did not before. Oh dear. How'd you ever manage not to simply pass out right then and there from the horror? You're the asshole so fucking much for pretending to be your son and interfering with her volunteering work because you can't be bothered to actually parent your son. Which involves things like talking to him before flying off the handle about crap you don't even understand.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_00] Zoya says yes you're 100% in the wrong. Protecting your son is good. But the 18 year old who posted about her vape to her friends didn't actually do anything wrong. Bitpen says you're the asshole. Believe it or not teens swear. If fuck is what you're worried about him hearing just take his phone away. The internet will not shelter him the way you want to. You also had no right to message her pretending to be your son. Very weird behavior on your part.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00] Swift says you're the asshole. Does your child have family members on any of their social media? What happens if Uncle Earl posts a photo holding his gun and posing with a deer he hunted? Are you going to go to his employer and get him fired for violent imagery on his socials? Do you yell at people who walk past your child vaping or swearing and ensure to wait to drink alcoholic beverages or watch M-rated movies after he'd gone to bed? Talk about an overreaction. I say this as an overly cautious mother who never smoked or vaped.

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_00] Firstly, you misunderstood social media and told her off for something she didn't do. And you doubled down to the point you had to make sure you ruined something for her. I'm surprised she wasn't allowed to do the event anymore. What version of events did you share with the shelter exactly? And one more comment from Arm True who says you're the asshole for the way you handled it. You should have had him unfriend the girl or honestly better to just not let him use Snapchat. The whole premise of it is to not store messages

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00] so if you want to actively monitor your child's messages he shouldn't be using this app. The girl did nothing wrong. An 18-year-old can post curse words. You should be controlling and monitoring your son's not some random girl's posts. Certifying her work was also a choice you made that affected her for again doing nothing wrong. You should have asked your son how to use the app before asking her. That's odd that you didn't ask him before messaging her pretending to be him.

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_00] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Maybe you've got a different opinion on the matter. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from VainWifeThroway originally from the AmITheArsehole subreddit but of course made it over to the AmITheDevil subreddit too and it says AmITheArsehole for not complimenting my wife so that she won't become vain.

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_00] Context My wife, 29 female and I, 31 male have been together for 10 years. We share three children nine, seven and five. My wife was never someone to really dress up or put much thought into her looks. She's always been beautiful but never did much to highlight it until recently. She went through the crisis of feeling like she didn't have a personality outside of being a mom. Something like that. So for the last two years

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00] she started traveling more joining different groups dressing really nicely wearing makeup. I never realized how much of a difference it would make but people treat her completely different. She's constantly getting complimented told she should be in magazines. She'll come home and happily tell me about the random stranger who was so nice to her. She randomly gets gifts. Lady at her job bought her a book series she was interested in. She gets hit on. When we go out

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_00] all these dudes want to buy her drinks. Even my family has noticed and all of a sudden it seems like they're wondering how I ended up with her. Honestly it's a bit overwhelming for me and something I'm just not used to. It's kind of become annoying. Anyways she was going out with friends and she asked me how she looked. I just said fine. She seemed disappointed with this. My sister was over and commented that I should hype her up. I said why should I when the world already does.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_00] That I don't want her thinking too highly of herself and becoming more vain. My sister looked shocked and said that's fucked up. Said that's low-key abusive and I'm an arsehole. I think she's overthinking it but decided to get outside opinions. So am I the arsehole? And the top commenter on this one which was highly voted from Falling Into Polka Dots who says you're the arsehole dude. If your wife doesn't think or know or hear you express that you think she's beautiful

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_00] then what's going to stop her from leaving you for someone who does tell her that she's beautiful and treats her wonderfully. Your wife is beautiful and you thought she was great even without all the makeup and the new style and the new interests. Now she has all of those things and what? Do you feel left behind? Do you take any interest in her new interests? Travel at all with her? What are you doing to make sure your wife feels seen? Or are you just bitter that she is finally realizing she's beautiful and interesting

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_00] and worthy of all this friendship and kindness from others? I'm wondering where you stand in all of this. I think she's awesome for taking charge of herself and her life. She didn't feel like she was seen or acknowledged as anything other than mum. And did you do anything to make her feel like the loved, beautiful wife that she is? And she endeavored to change that and it's bearing beautiful fruit. Her wife is awesome. Material says that's a great strategy. Treat her as if she doesn't matter

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_00] and you don't see her as attractive so she can constantly be reminded that there are other people out there who do care about her and do find her attractive. Then come back in a year or so and let us know how it works out. In the meantime, think about how you want the custody arrangements to work. You're the arsehole of course. Another commenter from KBD in PDX says you're the arsehole. My gods. Your wife is finding herself and investing time in herself to feel good. You don't like this because she's getting

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00] outside validation. Wow. You're not supportive. Your wife is beautiful. Out of everyone in the world, you should be the one telling her that every day. You should be falling at her feet, telling her how much you love her and that you are happy she's becoming happier and finding more fulfillment. Don't be a Debbie Downer. Go down this path and your wife will realize she can do better than a man who needs to keep his wife down so she doesn't feel too beautiful. And one more comment from Catastrophe8503

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00] who says you're the arsehole. Your wife deserves her self-worth. How disgusting to want to break a woman down because you're jealous she's doing well. She's your wife. Doesn't it reflect well on you that she's living her best life? Maybe try working on yourself so it's not such a mystery. She's with a sulking and manipulative man she's married. Men hit on her? Congrats. The mother of your children has still got it and she's going home with you. People buy her presents. How nice is it she has good friends

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00] and fulfilling relationships? They tend to involve gift giving. She looked good in that outfit? Tell her. Make her smile. Build her up so she feels the warmth of a healthy supportive relationship in your home. She deserves one and it sounds like she could get it elsewhere if she wants to but she's hoping to get it with you so maybe do both of you a favor. Bloody hell this one is absolutely brutal. I mean she spent years feeling like she you know lost herself to motherhood

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_00] and it's a story that we've seen many times before. So she built herself up by dressing in a way that she wanted found hobbies joined groups and just started living again and it works because she's clearly thriving and feeling confident and happy in herself and your response to watching your wife you know be confident again be happy again was to deliberately hold the one compliment she actually wanted. Not a stranger's

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00] not a colleague's yours and you literally said out loud that you didn't want her thinking basically too highly of herself. That's not protecting her from vanity keeping her small because her confidence makes you uncomfortable and your sister calling it low-key abusive and she was being generous with the low-key there because it is bloody hell. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_00] and let's move on to another story. Now our next story was originally on the true off my chest subreddit but of course made its way across to the am I the devil subreddit it was from strongpower9399 and says I don't want my wife who changed her mind about having more kids treat this decision as a neutral thing and made it clear I need her to hold space for my grief. Before we got married my wife and I were very aligned

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00] on having multiple children. We talked about it as a real part of our future but financially very comfortable work isn't a limiting factor and building a larger family was something I genuinely looked forward to and planned my life around. After our first child my wife changed her mind pregnancy and childbirth were much harder for her than she expected now she feels strongly that she's done I respect that I'm not trying to pressure her into another pregnancy or argue about

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00] her bodily autonomy what I'm struggling with is everything after that decision the decision changed the course of my life too and what I envisioned so I need her to see it for me this wasn't just okay we'll have one instead of two or three it felt like losing an entire future I'd already mentally committed to I feel like I'm expected to just accept that quietly and move on because she had a valid reason for changing her mind a couple's therapist encouraged

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00] me to open up and I told her I need her to acknowledge that by changing her mind I lost something real and that loss matters even if she had every right to make the choice she did I don't want this to be something I mull over while we pretend everything is fine I need us to actually tend to it not sweep it under the rug our therapist suggested to my wife she does regular check-ins about how I'm coping and the ability to grieve without it being framed as me trying to pressure her or guilt for interchanging her mind I also told her

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_00] that since the future we originally planned isn't happening I need the new one to actively include things that give my life the meaning I thought a larger family would provide not vague Sunday ideas but real priorities for example I'd like us to be deeply involved in my nieces and nephews life which means showing up consistently helping with education being a real secondary support system not just seeing them on holidays I also want our home to be a place where people gather regular dinners holidays

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_00] open doors so life doesn't shrink inwards into just the three of us where we really clash is emotional labor I told her I need her to not shut the conversation down minimize my feelings or frame my sadness as manipulation instead I need her to stay present even when it's uncomfortable allow the topic to come up more than once and sometimes acknowledge a loss herself something as simple as saying I know this cost you something real and I don't want to pretend it didn't I also said

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_00] that staying together means this can't be a situation where I absorb all the loss and she experiences this as neutral that may mean accepting limits on other life preferences like career moves lifestyle choices or making room for things that inconvenience her but help restore balance I'm not asking for another child what I didn't say was have another baby or else what I did say was my choice so deal with it and still expect our relationship to stay the same she feels like

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_00] I'm asking too much and that this makes her feel guilty for making a deeply personal decision after a difficult pregnancy I disagree because I need her to work to get my trust after making such a big decision I gotta admit OP had me in the first part of this post like respecting her bodily autonomy acknowledging her right to change her mind after you know she had a hard pregnancy you can't blame anyone for that right that's some traumatic shit

[00:22:55] [SPEAKER_00] but I'm wanting to grieve rather than bottling it all up that's all valid in my opinion but then OP just kept going the regular check-ins about your grief her acknowledging the loss herself repeatedly her staying present every time the topic comes up and it can come up more than once the adjustments to her lifestyle choices it was things that all inconvenienced her to make you feel better and it all came

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_00] under this framing of work to regain your trust or because she had a traumatic pregnancy and decided not to do it again and now she needs to regain your trust because of it oof she didn't betray you she had a traumatic time with her pregnancy and then made a decision about it that's not a trust violation that's just sometimes life changes you're allowed to grieve everyone's allowed to grieve but that grief is yours in the

[00:23:54] [SPEAKER_00] end not hers the first commenter said are you out of your fucking mind OP the other commenter says I don't know man if I saw my wife having a traumatic pregnancy I would never ask her to do that again and if she wanted to I'd be worried about her well-being every single day because to me she's not an incubator she's the love of my life and would want to put her and my child first and not some hypothetical family that doesn't exist but the one I have

[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_00] it seems like you're punishing her and using therapy speak to justify it one more commenter who says if I'm being totally honest here if my husband were acting like this I'd be questioning the entire relationship mourning hypothetical children instead of being the most present parent and husband you could be no thank you you need therapy this is weird you have a child love them focus on them my god bloody hell but what do you guys make of this situation

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_00] let us know your thoughts down in the comments below just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being here and hopefully I'm gonna see you in the next one take care and much love you