I Caught My Wife In An Affair But She Says She Was BEING HYPNOTIZED

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from number fantastic4992 from the amitheassholehere subreddit. And it says, amitheasshole for not believing my wife.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] First of all, I want to say I'm not normally the person to post my business on the internet. But for reasons you will shortly see, I need a sanity check on this one. There is absolutely no way I can share this dilemma with anyone who knows me. It's too fucked up and I'm honestly reeling here.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00] So, try to make a long story short. My wife, 32 female and I, 32 male, have been married for 5 years. No kids, but lately things haven't been so great. The main issue frankly is that there hasn't been sex. And I keep talking to her about this but she honestly seems completely indifferent. Like she doesn't even care that I have needs. I ask her if she wants sex anymore and she just shrugs. At the same time she's been going to the gym more. Highlighting her hair, wearing more makeup, sex, sex, sex, sex.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00] Sexier clothes, etc. Which to me seems like signs of cheating when combined with not having sex with me at all. So frankly I started to get fed up with a lack of respect and interest and consideration. And above all the lack of communication. Like she just won't talk to me about this. So while I'm not proud, I did check her phone and discovered very clear evidence she's cheating on me with a male co-worker of hers. And not only that, but in a total BDSM way where she is calling him master and stuff like that.

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00] Totally not my thing and honestly really upset me way more than just cheating. I should be calling another man master. So obviously for me this was the final straw and I knew there was no coming back from this. I just wanted a divorce and I wanted it right away. No kids, might as well start over while we're still young. So I just confronted her the next day after a night of stewing and sweating on the couch and here's where the really fucked up part starts.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00] As soon as I brought up her co-worker, my wife starts sobbing and saying she is not cheating on me on purpose but is under mind control by this man that he hypnotized her to do these things. She said he literally put her under hypnotic control so that whenever he says certain trigger words she goes into a trance and gives her suggestions that she will carry out even when they're not together. And she has in no way wants to be involved in this but she has no choice because her mind is controlled.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00] So obviously I'm like, what the fuck? Because that shit doesn't exist, right? She's telling me this so confidently as if everyone just knows you can go around mind controlling your co-workers and it's a thing that happens. But it's not, right? So I have absolutely no idea what to say to this but I asked her if this is true. Why did she never tell me before? And she said his control stopped her. So why can she tell me now? She says she doesn't know because she doesn't remember all his instructions.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00] But he may have let her tell me if I specifically asked or it may be that the control was broken because it was too emotionally intense. I just honestly did not believe this at all and I don't know what to do with this excuse. Like I've never heard any shit like this in my life. But my wife could tell I didn't believe her and she started crying and saying I didn't trust her and she wants to get out of the control. If I can help save her from him then she'll leave him and never do anything like that again. And I need to believe it's not her fault because she would never do that to me.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00] So basically at this point I just left and went to my brother's house and told her I need to get away from this right now. But she's been texting me since begging me to believe her. And I just told my bro I found out she was cheating and he said I can stay as long as I want but there's no way I can tell him that all this crazy shit. So my question is what the fuck? First of all am I the asshole for not believing my wife? Is this something that really can happen? I know hypnosis is used by psychologists and magicians but don't you have to have consent to be hypnotized?

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00] I can just imagine if we called the cops about this they would laugh in our face. I feel sick thinking about this either way. But even if it's not true does my wife honestly believe this? And if she honestly believes she is under control should I forgive her even if it's not true? Oh boy what have we gotten ourselves into today? Bloody hell. What I don't get. Like have all the excuses you could have used in the whole world. She came up with hypnosis.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00] Part of me was also wondering if that's you know a part of the kink if you like. Because it all leans into this sort of control ownership fantasies right? So it all just comes across as like cheating with a BDSM dynamic attached to it. The commenter says she's the asshole. She got caught and is very obviously grasping at straws to get you to stay. Divorce. Move on. Opie says what's stopping me is this seems like such a crazy fuck up lie.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00] And honestly it just seems beyond my wife to come up with something so outlandish. Like with all respect she's kind of a basic or normie person who would never expect to think of something like this. Expected she was gonna say it was my fault for certain things or that it didn't mean anything but not something like this. I'm questioning if she has some kind of mental disorder or something. Commenter says not the asshole but seriously dude. The mind control thing is part of her kink. Part of her BDSM fantasy. She's using it as an excuse for you.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00] But also for any guilt she might feel. The entire story is bullshit. In fact it is so bullshit that it makes me doubt the entire thing. That is how bad it is. It is insulting that she thinks this would work on you. You should be super pissed. Leave her. Expose her after the divorce is finalized. Make sure everyone at work knows about the boss. Get them both fired. Look. I have zero empathy for these situations and I'm all about petty revenge. Wreck them. Collect all evidence of the affair. Whatever you have to do.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00] Contact. A lawyer. Opie says, When I sit here alone I completely agree it's bullshit. When I was standing there in front of her with her face sobbing it was hard not to have some doubt and pity. But you're right. In my rational mind I know this is nonsense. I just wonder if she believes it or not on some level. Both because I know she can be gullible but also it's so hard and sickening to think she'd make up something like this. But ultimately, whether or not she believes it, you're right. I just have to divorce her.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00] This is too much to handle and if she would sincerely believe this then there's something not right in her head and I couldn't trust her. But just to correct one thing, it's not her boss. Just a co-worker. So at some point later, Opie does come in with an update and says, So a couple of people asked for updates and I was initially reticent but after everything that happened I wanted to share what I learned. I appreciate people's input. Especially on the hypnosis part and how that works. But to be honest, I think most of y'all were a little harsh on me and it was kind of

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00] a dumb move on my part to post this situation online but nobody replying knows me or my wife at all. So I wanted to update to shed some light on that. So to get the obvious out of the way, we're getting divorced. So I spent a few days at my bro's house and while originally I said there was no way I would ever tell him, finally we got pretty drunk and I spilled everything and showed him text from my wife too where she was insisting she was under control and would never choose to do this to me. To his credit, he didn't mock or make fun of me at all since unlike Reddit, he actually

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_00] knows my wife, his perspective was honestly helpful and gave me some things to think about I hadn't considered. And I kind of wish I just had talked to him in the first place but was so humiliated I could only talk about it anonymously. But here's what he said. He agreed my wife is a very weak and gullible person. Someone who can be easily manipulated and maybe she believed she was being mind controlled. But he said that doesn't make her innocent in this. And he made a comparison to people who join cults or spend thousands of dollars in online romance scams.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00] The latter hit home because we have a relative who was involved in this. Their families and loved ones tried to get them out and showed them the facts but they continue rationalizing and believing what they want to believe for the sake of the fantasy of the romance or religion. They may be a victim but they're not innocent. And I get it. I can absolutely see that kind of behavior in my wife where she is willing to excuse and stick up for people who treat her like dirt. But not to stick up for herself or people who are important to her.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00] To where she is willing to stay under the thumb of anyone who will think for her and make decisions for her. The way we got together is I kind of saved her from a bad relationship she was in. And I think she's kind of addicted to that dynamic to be honest. Letting someone control her and being saved. So I realized after talking to my brother. Even if my wife believes she is being mind controlled. Can I really go on with my life with someone who would let herself be this deluded to maybe risk our finances. Our future children's safety etc.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00] Obviously not. I don't think I ever would have stayed with her after this obviously. But my brother's advice really made things clear to me in a way I hadn't thought of it before. So now what happened with my wife? I did have to go back to our place to get some of my stuff and honestly I did want to talk to her. I guess to try and get closure and to make her hear my perspective. And maybe try to shake some sense into her one last time. Like I do still care about her and I want her to try and figure her shit out and never do something like this again. So we talked.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00] And the first thing I told her was that we are getting divorced. And she could not change my mind. There was a lot of crying at that. Next I asked her if this was all a lie or does she really believe she was hypnotized. Because I very bluntly told her mind control is not real and hypnosis doesn't work unless you consent to it. And she told me she consented to the initial hypnosis which was all non-sexual. But he eventually started putting in sexual suggestions. And by then she couldn't resist. And I said okay. So why didn't you tell someone or get help? And she said his control prevented her.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_00] So I told her she really believed this is true. She needed to contact her HR department and the police. But I think she just needs mental help. And she was willing to sacrifice our marriage for a sexual fantasy. And I hope one day she can admit it was her fantasy. She didn't argue too much with that. But she didn't admit it either. And she showed me her text at a guy where she told him his control was broken and it was over. He said and I quote. That's fine. I already got everything I wanted from you anyway. So she ruined her happiness from someone like that.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_00] A hard pill to swallow for me and for her. So I told her I had to go. And she asked if we could stay in or be friends. And I said no. We will talk through lawyers from now on. Not to be harsh but I don't want to feed her fantasy that I will still save her somehow. But I encouraged her to get help. As for me I'm going to stay single for a while. And to be honest I should probably rethink what kind of women I want too. And try to find a girl who is more independent and doesn't need to be saved per se. Both in the meantime I always wanted a dog.

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_00] And my soon to be ex-wife is allergic. So I think I'm going to start there. A commenter says to OP. She's going to use the excuse possessed by a demon when she cheats on her next relationship. OP laughs and says. Been trying not to encourage mean comments on her but this one made me laugh. Commenter says. I read the original posting and thought I would add this. I've read a couple of books on hypnosis. And you can't compel a person to do something they ethically wouldn't do. Commenter says. And the whole compel thing doesn't work like OP's ex said anyway.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_00] Hypnosis isn't like the movies where you can take one session and just take over someone's whole life. It simply doesn't work that way. She wanted to have a BDSM themed affair and she did. She told herself it was hypnosis but it was not hypnosis. Not even the willing kind. She was role playing and going along because it felt good. That's it. Commenter says. I can't understand this at all. I will say that you are not unkind and were very direct with your thoughts and intentions. That is admirable.

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_00] It's hard for me to believe that she's being honest though. Outside of the obvious insanity of the claim. How could she promise that it would never happen again if she didn't have control? OP says thank you. I think she was lying to herself most of all. And we'll be coming to some hard realizations in the coming days and weeks. What an excuse to use. Bloody hell. But it was like in the update when she turned around and texted the other guy saying his control was broken. It was over just like that. It's done now. My word.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Jasmine from the am I the arsehole here subreddit. And it says would I be the arsehole here if I refuse to stop making my stepdaughter a school lunches. For a quick context. My 28 female husband 36 male has a daughter Leah 16 with his ex Linda 38 female.

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_00] They split when Leah was about 7 and I married my husband 2 years ago. I used to work in an office so I had to bring food to my job. But I work from home now so I still believe all the lunch boxes and stuff. I'm only calling Leah my stepdaughter for the post but she just calls me auntie. Well Leah came home one day shaking and very pale. So I asked what happened to her and she told me she didn't eat anything because she hates her school food and she doesn't eat breakfast because school starts too early.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_00] I felt so bad for her and made her something to eat. And then I asked her if she wanted me to make her a quick lunch for her to take to school and she said yes. So I prepared a quick lunch for her. A little sandwich, some fruit and some dip with veggies and some chips in a juice. She loved it and came home to hug me and told me everyone was praising her lunch. I made her lunch every day she was with us last year. School just started again but she's currently with her mum. Linda called my husband and told her she tolerated my antics last year.

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_00] But I can stop playing mum now because she doesn't like it. And Leah should just suck it up and eat what the school provides because she doesn't have time to compete with my bullshit. Well, Leah is coming home tomorrow and I asked her if she wants me to stop the lunches and that I would apologize if I overstepped. She asked me to please don't stop and that she loves them. She said her mum is mad because she asked her mum for some ingredients to make her own lunches in our house and Linda refused. I talked with my husband and we agreed on not stopping because there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing

[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_00] and now he has to talk with his ex about it. I feel a little guilty now because I know Linda would cause some sort of trouble with my husband because of this. But at the same time, I don't want to stop just because she doesn't like it. So would I be the arse on? And edit, I will talk to my husband tonight after he gets home from work. After reading the comments and remembering things after responding to some comments, I realized this is overdue. I feel like we should have done something earlier because Leah's well-being should be our top priority, not whether Linda would throw a tantrum.

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you for helping me see everything clearer. I'll show this post to my husband as well tonight. Also to clarify some things. One, Leah is 16 and she can make her own lunches. Yes, she can and she does sometimes but I like doing it for her just to pamper her a little bit. Two, why didn't you buy the ingredients for a mum's house? My husband tried, even offered to buy another fridge when Linda said it would take up all the space in there but then she still refused to accept it. Three, they should just live with me and my husband.

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe, but at the end of the day, it's her decision. I'll talk to my husband and I'll talk to her later in the week but we can't really force her if she wants to continue going to her mum's. Nah, Opie sounds sweet. Leah is 16 years old, wasn't eating all day and then told you not to stop. Opie isn't playing mum, it's just making sure this kid has food. Your husband supports it and the mum even refused to let her make her own lunches or accept groceries.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_00] So this just comes across more about control than anything. And clearly from, it sounds like the advice Opie's got from the commenters that Leah's wellbeing is priority here. That is the priority in this situation and Leah clearly appreciates those lunches and appreciates you at the same time. The first commenter said to Opie, Sounds like you are more of a mum to her, not the arsehole. Take care of the kid, let the ex freak out. Just make sure to document everything. Opie says, I didn't think about that but you were right.

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_00] The commenter says, How could you possibly be the arsehole for making sure a child has something to eat? Just because her bio mum doesn't care enough or is too lazy to make sure her child eats, doesn't mean you have to be. I mean, what's she going to say in court? That you're providing her kid a lunch and she doesn't want her child to eat? A commenter replies in quotes a section of that and says, Benefit of the doubt. Divorce is expensive and she might have gotten the shit end of the stick with it. So funds are tight. School might provide free lunch and breakfast and the kid's mum might not be able to afford the extra expense of a packed lunch.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00] Let's show a bit more grace before saying she doesn't care or is lazy. Technically, the child does have food to eat. She just turns her nose up at it. Opie says they were never married so they didn't divorce. My husband pays for everything Leah wants and needs plus child support twice the amount the judge told him he had to pay. I feel like my husband was generous enough with her. The commenter says, I'm pretty sure not the arsehole. Her mother is the one that made it a competition and she's an arsehole for that.

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_00] Collectively, her parents, you and anyone else that's in a parental-like role should be cooperating to support your stepdaughter. If the system in your home that you and her father work out is for you to make her lunches on those days, fine. I could possibly see an issue if the mother had paid for the school lunch and now that was being wasted. But again, the solution is to communicate and work out those logistics to help Bray's stepdaughter. Opie says the lunch is free paid by the government, so not money wasted. The commenter replies saying,

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_00] So from the mom's point of view, any money spent on food she takes in is wasted because she could have eaten for free. It is really sad when children have to worry about where the money for food is coming from. 16 is old enough to be making her own lunch. She is also old enough to understand that parents may not have the greatest relationship. If this is getting into talk to a lawyer expensive, have you considered maybe asking her to tell her mom she is making her own lunch for ingredients her dad pays for? 4. Opie responded saying, My husband talked to her about it.

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_00] I think my husband also tried to compromise with buying the ingredients for her and buying Leah a fridge for her room to keep the food. But Linda said he was making their daughter selfish and lazy. I feel it's time to revisit your custody, especially now that she's 16. But I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to be like an evil stepmother trying to separate her from her mom. I have to admit I feel a little anxious when it comes to Leah because I don't want her to hate me if I'm too pushy or something like that. I imagine it's weird for her because I'm only about 12 years older than her.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00] I'm technically not old enough to be her parent. But she's really sweet and I hate the fact that she's most likely going hungry half a month every month. Someone asks on why Leah won't be able to make her own lunch and Opie says she can in our home. But I like making them cute. And in her mom's house, she has more siblings for what I remember. She can't just take things without asking and stuff like that. Commodore says not the arsehole. Don't stop feeding a hungry child good food when an adult wants you to stop purely for selfish reasons and not for the child's benefit.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_00] Tell your husband to get involved if his ex is being shitty about it. And I hope he is supporting you and his daughter. Edit. Why didn't you and Leah go out shopping and plan lunches and meals together? And she can make her own up some days if she likes. Sounds like mom doesn't like to get anything out of her usual routine. So maybe give Leah some options to try some new things like falafel wraps, hummus. I use these examples as my mom's friends would always serve falafels, which I never had at home. And was brought up on hummus, which half my friends hated or loved.

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_00] Raw fruit and veg snacks with dips. I like marinated cooked meat in my lunchbox sometimes instead of a sandwich like a thigh or something. Sounds like she wants to try new things and needs a guide or at least the opportunity to try. Opie responded saying we already go once a week to buy her essentials. I said sandwiches as an example, but I vary my lunches depending on what we bought. She made her own lunch a couple of times and she helps me cook on weekends as well. But maybe I can give her more freedom.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00] This is my first time being something sort of a parent figure. So I'm doing my best. I buy her things to hide in her bag as well because if her mom finds them, she'd make her share with her other siblings. Opie gives another example on why Linda doesn't buy anything for Leah. Opie says she doesn't buy anything for Leah. Tampons, pads, skincare, shampoo, nothing. I buy them with my husband and I have to hide them in her bag. Apparently they all use the same bar soap and have one shampoo and conditioner.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00] But it's horrible for Leah's hair because she has curly hair and her mom didn't believe she needed a different product. I think she buys pads for herself and tells Leah she can use them. But she says she used too many. Crazy lady. Another commenter says not the arsehole. Her mom is jealous that you're doing more than what she does for her own daughter. She's definitely old enough to make her own lunches though. Maybe you can keep some things in the house and tell her that you went to the store and picked up these things so she can make her own lunch. She has to learn to feed herself at some point.

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says she knows how to cook. She isn't spoiled or lazy. She cooks with me sometimes and alone other times. She cleans, has excellent grades. She is very independent and she takes care of her siblings when she's with us so she can do it. I just like taking care of her too. The downvoted commenter says you're the arsehole. You've stopped caring for your stepdaughter and punished your stepdaughter because your husband's ex is bitter. I feel bad for the stepdaughter since you're so willing to abandon her just because her mom is bitter.

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_00] Opie responds saying I would have only stopped if Leah told me she doesn't want me to make them anymore. But I'm not a mom so I'm not sure what or if things are overstepping boundaries or something like that. That's why I asked. I talk with my husband but he never disagrees with me so he's biased. So it was over a month later that Opie did come in with an update and said the situation is somewhat resolved now so I can make an update. First of all my husband decided to talk to Leah.

[00:21:58] [SPEAKER_00] They talked for about an hour and came to the decision that Leah would stay with us permanently for now. He contacted a lawyer friend of his to talk about his options and because Leah is old enough to decide for herself he said things shouldn't be too complicated. My husband contacted Linda to tell her about the decision and she didn't take it well understandably. She started to come to our house and try to pick up Leah out of school but she refused so the school contacted my husband. It was a whole mess. I work from home so I was always home when she came to scream here.

[00:22:28] [SPEAKER_00] She knew I was home because she accused me of stealing her daughter, of being a homewrecker, not even close, and she called my husband a creep for having a child bride. I couldn't handle it anymore so I called the police but the stress made me very sick and I almost fainted. At the hospital we found out I'm 10 weeks pregnant. We weren't really trying but we weren't preventing it either. I'm a little anxious but kind of excited. Because of the pregnancy my husband is considering filing for a restraining order as well, not only for full custody.

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_00] We haven't announced the pregnancy yet because we don't know if Linda would try anything. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt but her recent behavior is scary. We're also considering moving maybe even to a different city but for now we're still dealing with Linda. Our lawyer sent her a cease and desist and she's been quiet for the past week but maybe she's just plotting something. With my husband we decided that Leah and us maybe will be staying with mum for now and he'll go check on the house and then come to my mum's at night. And I think that's all.

[00:23:28] [SPEAKER_00] I'm already home with my mum and Leah and Thursday to Sunday are holidays here so my husband will be joining us too. Everything is quiet and I feel I'll tell Leah and my mum about the pregnancy this weekend. If anything significant happens again I'll update in my profile but for now I just want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy with my family. Wish us luck. And many people on the back of this one are just curious for a future update. Many people thinking you know once the mother finds out that OP is pregnant she's absolutely going to lose her shit.

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_00] Which to be honest I think that at the same time too. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? What would you do if you was OP'd? Do you think they're doing the right things? Do you think there's anything different they could have done? Let us know your thoughts. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being here. Truly it's absolutely amazing. And hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one.

[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_00] Take care and much love.