Husbands Family Treated Me BADLY And Are Now Paying The Price | r/Reddit

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today's video is going to be a compilation video. Mainly because my voice is cooked at the moment. If compilations aren't for you, please feel free to click off of it. You know, I know the compilations aren't for everyone. But a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the story. Thank you so so much and let's crack on with it. Much love guys.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00] Today's first story comes from PotentialLow8645 and it says, Am I the asshole for giving crappy Christmas gifts and ruining my marriage? Now this one has multiple updates with a new update just recently. So if you do want to skip certain parts of it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. It says, Throwaway account for anonymity.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_00] I 31 female married my soon to be ex-husband, male 33 in 2018. My in-laws never liked me and made it clear. Soon to be ex insisted that they're just putting up a tough exterior and that they grow to love me. Show how evil they are. One time I joined them for dinner and brought a cake I'd made because I was always raised to be a gracious guest. When I stepped into the kitchen and offered the cake to his mother as a thank you for inviting me. She took the plate over to the garbage.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00] I had a garbage bin, dumped it in and handed me the plate back. When I told my husband what she did. He confronted her and all of a sudden the crocodile tears started and she claimed she grabbed the plate but didn't get a good grip. I let go too quickly and it fell to the floor. So of course it had to be thrown away.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00] My sister-in-law confirmed that was what happened. My soon to be ex owned his own business and they called me a gold digger behind his back. Of course they insisted on the prenup which I didn't care about because I never thought my marriage would end and it would appease them and may allow them to finally treat me kindly. Nope. His business failed once COVID hit. He went through his savings and my own trying to keep it afloat. I refused to go into debt to keep it going so he closed it down.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00] In 2022 he was suffering from really bad depression because he lost his business and couldn't find new work. He suggested we move to his hometown closer to his family so he had a larger support network. Against my best judgment we did. He wanted to only work part time while he tried to restart his business so I became the main breadwinner and as with most wives I became the person in charge of buying gifts.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00] Stupid old me thought buying them thoughtful expensive gifts would finally make them see I wanted to be accepted by them. Gifts to us were a couple's gift but clearly for my soon to be ex only. Every holiday was spent with them. Monthly dinners with the whole family. After a year I realized that if I ever tried to talk or join a conversation everyone would go quiet. So I just stopped talking when I visited. In early December they finalized plans for Christmas.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_00] A few days later my soon to be ex said his family decided they didn't want me to join them for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas lunch because I ruined the family vibe. I replied fine we'll do our own thing instead. My soon to be ex sheepishly looked away and said he was still going to go. I was livid and so disappointed in him. That was the moment I knew my marriage was over. So I returned the presents I had bought for his family. In their place I got one pair of novelty business socks for father-in-law.

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_00] A supermarket brand bottle of shampoo for mother-in-law. The nastiest perfume I could find at the dollar store for sister-in-law. The most expensive gift was a large rawhide bone for brother-in-law and his wife's chihuahua. Too big for it to get its jaws around rendering it useless. I saved about $600 to put on the deposit for a new apartment. My husband came home from Christmas lunch telling me I humiliated him and embarrassed him in front of his family.

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_00] I asked him why he would think I'd buy nice gifts for people who clearly don't like me and don't want me around. Served divorce papers last week. Remember how he was supposed to be a millionaire by now so we had that prenup. Soon to be ex is not eligible for any of my savings. It was required to keep separate accounts or alimony. He doesn't have money for rent and auto insurance. Not my problem anymore. Some of my friends and family are on my side and proud that I went out in a blaze of glory.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00] Others are telling me I was way too petty which isn't really like me. So am I the arsehole. Some comments from OP. First thing I did after I moved into my new apartment was adopt an older cat from the shelter. He was allergic and I couldn't never adopt one since we first started living together. We're just two old hags living our best lives after being rejected. OP also says he only worked 12 hours a week at Walmart. So he could do non-existent work for restarting his business.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] I make just over six figures and I can't believe I didn't realize years ago I was the family ATM. OP also adds my lawyer even laughed at the prenup that was set up for him is going to be what we use for me. It required both spouses to maintain separate bank accounts and each spouse could keep 100% of their savings. No spouse eligible for alimony. So nine days after that post OP came in with a first update and said many thanks to everyone for their support in my last post. I thought I'd send a small update.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00] First for those who asked how to deposit on my new apartment was only the $600 I saved on the gifts. It certainly wasn't. I had to dip into savings but that $600 helped. My soon-to-be ex didn't bother reaching out to me after I left until he was served the divorce papers and my lawyer made it clear we're exercising the prenup. Then it was loving voicemails and texts I never picked up from him and his family for a few days trying to convince me to come back.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_00] Which eventually turned to threatening and cruel voicemails and texts when it was clear I wasn't budging. My lawyer suggested I didn't block them so we have evidence of harassment if needed. Basically give them the rope to hang themselves with. But then last night I got a call from my soon-to-be ex. Stupidly I picked it up thinking there was some kind of emergency or something. I barely got hello out when he said the rent is a week late. I told him that's strange because I paid my landlord six days ago.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00] He paused and sighed dramatically and replied no the rent for here. I reminded him that I don't live there and he shouldn't expect rent. Hugh and his parents both texted me that they're going to sue me to pay for the remainder of the lease entirely. I'm not worried about having an eviction on my record since the apartment is in his parents' names. When we first announced we were moving to his hometown they rented an apartment for us right away so we could move right in. They'd been renewing the lease each year.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00] He had to pay his parents and then they'd write a check to the landlord who has no idea who's soon-to-be ex and I are. Let alone that we lived there. Red flag I know. I'm glad I had a few weeks to prep my leaving since they'd probably use the fact that it's their apartment to kick me out immediately. Divorce is probably going to be a bumpy ride with this man-child and his psycho parents. Any advice from anyone who's been through it is welcome. In the comments on that one Opie adds,

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00] Lawyer is confident they have no leg to stand on. Haven't signed any type of lease and utilities are in their name too. Because they were afraid of having too many names connected to the apartment and the landlord finding out. So they're on the hook for everything that doesn't get paid. But hey, that was their choice and their scheming. Buck around and find out. Around 19 days after, Opie comes in with another update and says, Hi, if this isn't the right place to post any updates, please direct me to a subreddit that better fits.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00] Super sorry if I'm annoying members who aren't interested, but a few requested an update. Then gives a brief recap of the first two posts and then says, To the people who commented that my soon-to-be former in-laws were probably charging my soon-to-be ex and me more than the amount on the lease. You called it. And we wouldn't have found out if they weren't so entitled and determined to hurt me. They got a cousin who happens to be a lawyer to send me a letter demanding I pay the entirety of the remainder of the lease. Well, they will file suit and force me to pay it.

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00] Clearly a scare tactic. So my lawyer sent a formal request to their lawyer for a copy of the lease. Which I've never seen. And a copy of their written agreement with us as subleases. Which doesn't exist. They sent the lease and insisted the sublease agreement was a verbal contract. Not only is subleasing explicitly prohibited, but my mother-in-law and father-in-law have been charging us an extra $200 each month.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_00] So we've notified the landlord that I've been living there with my soon-to-be ex and the leases were living there in their own house throughout the duration of the lease. And sent copies of my driving license. With the address and over two years of bank and credit card statements with the address listed. They were served with a 30-day eviction yesterday. Which I know about because mother-in-law left a voicemail about me kicking my soon-to-be ex out of his home. And that she now drives with a baseball bat in her car. And she'd be keeping an eye out for me. LOL

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00] Obviously, my lawyer's expertise is family law. And this was way out of her purview. So she referred me to a colleague who focuses on real estate law. We met today to devise a battle plan. And I'm now suing my mother-in-law and father-in-law for all the money I can prove I transferred for the rent for the entirety of the residency there. Since the apartment was technically not a legal apartment to rent. Since they couldn't sublease. No clean hands to rent to us and then sue me. He's not sure how a judge will buy it.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_00] And it's way beyond my state's civil compensation limit. But he's confident that it will scare them. And leave them open to settling for just returning the additional $200 from each payment. Which I think is fair. Because I did live there with my soon-to-be ex. So I don't think it's right to get all the rent money back. I'm an adult and adults pay rent. And I don't want them to have the satisfaction of saying I'm using the divorce as a windfall. On the soon-to-be ex front. There's no news there.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00] We will likely need to go to family court for a separation order. Since he won't agree to the financial details of the separation agreement my lawyer has drafted. My state requires a one-year separation period before a divorce can be finalized. So this is going to be a long process. A few people ask why he did what he did. And if he's offered any kind of explanation or justification. We haven't really talked since he was served. I don't know if he just fell out of love. But I was still financially convenient.

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00] Or if the mask finally lifted. Or if it was being so close to his family and them having opportunities to manipulate him. I don't know. I don't care. I don't need closure. I need them all gone. Looking back, making promises during couples counseling and slowly regressing back is enough closure. Knowing he has allowed his family to treat me like crap for so long is closure. A final betrayal at Christmas is closure. My focus isn't on figuring it out.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_00] It's making sure I'm happy. So again, Opie had some comments below that one. The first one says, I'm saving them all. Voicemails, texts, emails, etc. Another comment saying, honestly, I feel like a new person. I feel like someone who's been ill and finally able to go outside and breathe fresh air. Opie about the restraining order and says, absolutely. She's going to regret it because she works for the school district. And her restraining order won't let her teach. About the prenup.

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_00] It was set up in his favor because he owned a business that was supposed to be a huge success. COVID hit and it went poof. Now I'm the one with the money and the prenup is actually protecting me. A commenter says to Opie, don't forget to investigate suing for return of money invested in his business. It was a premarital asset and exempt from prenup. Worth a shot to see if you can recover some or all of that wasted savings. Opie said, I'd never thought of this. I'll bring it up when I meet with my lawyer next.

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_00] And Opie also adds one more comment that says, When we first told his family we were moving back to his hometown. His parents went ahead and signed a lease for us to make the move easier. Personally, I think it was to make the move happen sooner and have control over us. They were worried about too many names attached to the apartment. So power, internet, etc. is also in their name. So it was three and a half months later that Opie came in with their latest update and said, Hi everyone.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_00] I posted here a few months ago and everyone was super supportive. Thank you. I thought I'd send through an update and it's actually a positive one. Summary of previous events that is the clownery of my life. My ex's family treated me like crap for years. In my naivety, I told myself to just try harder. They uninvited me to Christmas for always ruining the family vibe. Max decided to celebrate with family because his wife isn't family and left me to celebrate Christmas alone.

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_00] I decided to return their expensive, thoughtful presents with cheap, crappy ones as a final fuck you. Moved out and filed for a divorce. Ex can't afford the rent on the old apartment alone. The apartment is actually leased to his parents and they demanded I pay the remainder of the rent or their sue. My lawyer and I sued them. Turns out the sublease was illegal. They charged us. Really, me? Since my ex was a deadbeat. $200 extra per month that they pocketed. We notified the landlord.

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_00] My ex got an eviction notice. So, I had our first, and it turns out only, mediation meeting with the in-laws about the excess rent they were charging me and my ex a few weeks ago. The in-laws tried to claim they charged us extra for their role as property managers of the apartment. Cheeky bastards. They couldn't explain in any way what they did as property managers to justify a fee of $200 a month, other than chatting with their son about the apartment several times a month.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_00] I.e. charging us to talk to their own son. Then it came to the sublease being a verbal contract since we never signed anything. And my lawyer asked on which date I verbally agreed. I never did, actually, since my ex handled all of those conversations with his parents prior to our move. They said they couldn't remember, but since I moved in, I obviously agreed to the arrangement they made for my ex. My lawyer told him that it sounds like any verbal contract was with their son.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_00] And given the terms were oral and unclear, they will be too difficult and costly for them to enforce. He added, all of that is a moot point, since they didn't have the authority to sublease anyway. He then told them that we'd be pursuing the lawsuit unless they settled on returning $6,200 or would give them time to discuss the deal with their lawyer.

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00] I was suing for the return of the excess, not full rent, since I lived in the apartment. Within an hour, their lawyer called me to agree to a settlement of $5,400, since technically the little bit my ex paid for rent should have a proportionate amount applied to some of that excess. We agreed to it. My divorce lawyer also sent them a cease and desist letter about the harassment, warning them that if it continues, I will file for a restraining order and I have plenty of evidence to have it granted.

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_00] A lot of people ask why I haven't done this already, but I'd rather not go nuclear unless I have to. My mother-in-law's job would very likely be affected if she has a restraining order, and she will just go scorched earth even harder. Thankfully, this seems to have been enough of a wake-up call for her in particular, and the texts, emails, and voicemails have stopped entirely. I also learned from mutual friends that my ex was already on dating apps a few weeks after I left, but apparently nothing goes beyond the first date.

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_00] I guess women don't want to get involved with a 33-year-old unemployed entrepreneur who lives with and lives off his parents, and they're still chasing some elusive business he hasn't been able to start up. LOL. All communication with him has been through my lawyer except for two incidents. A few weeks ago, he called me at 3am completely drunk, leaving a voicemail asking to fix things. Oof. He called the next day to apologize for that. I guess this will likely be my final update.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_00] Now I just have to wait for their divorce to be finalized and done. There was a huge weight off my shoulders. Oh, I'm so relieved that OP did get their money in the end. It may not have been the full amount that they were requesting for, but I can totally understand why they did agree to that and not go nuclear. Because, you know, OP said it's going to affect mother-in-law's job, which, you know, you may want to happen. But at the same time, if mother-in-law hasn't got nothing else to do,

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_00] she may just be a right pain in the ass for OP afterwards. And clearly the ex is down bad. I mean, 3am drunk calls.

[00:16:56] Oof.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story is an am I the arsehole story. No update is yet. It's fresh off the press. It's from Dehydrated Dolphin and says, Am I the arsehole for telling my best friend he can't bring his wife to my wedding?

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00] I, 29 male, attended my best friend, Josh, 29 male, wedding a few years ago as the best man and was denied being given a plus one, even though I had a girlfriend, Stacey, 28 female. When Josh and his now wife, Amber, 30 female, originally got engaged and invited me to the wedding, I was single, but they told me I could bring a date. A few months after I told Josh, I started dating Stacey and would be bringing her. Now, I want to preface this.

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_00] I have known Stacey for about 8 years and we've dated for a few months while in college. I originally met Stacey through Josh since she was a friend of Josh's long-term ex-girlfriend. But when Josh and his ex broke up, the ex made Stacey decide between dating me or staying friends with her. She was a very toxic person. Stacey chose to keep dating me and, after all these years, has not talked to or been friends with the ex. Me and Stacey ended up breaking up due to her transferring to a new college

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_00] and neither of us wanting a long-distance relationship. Once Amber found out I started dating Stacey, she had a talk with Josh, which ended with Amber telling Josh I wasn't allowed to bring Stacey since she used to be friends with Josh's ex. When Josh broke the news to me, he told me Amber had the final decision and she doesn't want Stacey at the wedding. And to add insult, Josh told me I started a plus one, just can't be Stacey. I wasn't going to bring anyone else.

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00] Josh told me he didn't agree with Amber but he didn't want to fight with her. After this conversation, I didn't mention anything to Stacey. Stacey knew the wedding was coming and would occasionally ask me if she was invited. I would tell her I wasn't sure if I had a plus one and kept pushing it off. We still had about eight months until their wedding so I was hoping going on double dates and hanging out with the four of us would warm Amber up to Stacey and change her mind. This didn't work. Amber never changed her mind.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_00] The wedding came around, which was also on Stacey's birthday, and I reluctantly attended solo as the best man. I told Stacey everything which really pissed her off. She wasn't upset with me and understood why I still wanted to attend the wedding. But she hasn't forgiven Amber. Fast forward to now, Stacey and I are engaged. The roles are reversed and Stacey is okay with Josh attending but doesn't want Amber to get anything to do with our wedding.

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_00] Both Stacey's family and my family all know about Stacey not being invited to Josh and Amber's wedding and why. It left a sour taste in everyone's mouth and neither of our families want Amber to attend. I'm not one for drama and really wish everyone got along, especially since Josh has been my best friend since we were kids. But I'm standing by Stacey and Amber will not be invited. Am I the arsehole? Edit. Just want to clarify what I stated. We broke up.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00] That was in reference to when we dated in college for a few months. I still made plans with Stacey and celebrated her birthday. I think my comment on this one simply is what goes around comes around in this situation. I mean, you know, as simple as that really. But M Purdy says not the arsehole. Fair's fair. If Josh's now wife had the final decision who got to attend their wedding when they were in the process of planning their wedding, then it's only fair that your future wife gets out the final say in who attends your wedding. Plus, like someone else said in the comments,

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00] if Josh's wife dislikes Stacey so much just because she used to be friends with Josh's ex-girlfriend, then she probably won't want to attend your wedding anyway. Word says, I wouldn't invite her either, but Josh's wife is going to forbid him to come to your wedding. And since he caved before, he'll probably cave now. You know, because he doesn't want to fight with her. EJC says, Everyone sucks here. This is so petty and it sounds like you shouldn't be friends with each other anymore. Don't invite Josh and not Amber.

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_00] Just don't invite either of them if it's such a massive deal. And one more commenter says, Everyone sucks here. You're all petty and childish. I would think you were 19 instead of almost 30. If you don't want someone at your wedding, you don't invite them. It's very simple. It doesn't have to be this big drama. Amber didn't want Stacey there. That's her prerogative. And the same now for Stacey if she doesn't want Amber there. When I get married, no one will be invited unless it's Two yeses, me and my partner.

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_00] It is the couple's day. It wasn't about Stacey then. Regardless of your history, Amber had only known you two together for eight months. Now this wedding is about you and Stacey. It's not about Amber. She will survive not being invited. But what do you guys make of this situation? What would you do in it? Or maybe you just think this is incredibly petty. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_00] And this next story comes from Avacadudu who says, Thinking of stepping down as maid of honor, her fiance is making it unbearable. A former colleague who I'm friendly with but not super close to asked me to be one of her two maids of honor. I've only met around 20 times in two and a half years. So I was surprised but flattered and saw it as a chance to grow our friendship. Since then she started calling me her best friend. Which feels premature and not mutual.

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_00] I've met her fiance a few times and frankly, we don't get along. He gossips, comes off insecure and has been rude to me and others. He also micromanages everything. As maid of honors, we're organizing three events. A bachelorette, the civil wedding will follow this year and a religious one in 2026. The bride initially said she wanted a low-key bachelorette focused on quality time. We kept that in mind. Then her fiance began making specific demands.

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_00] Private bed slash bath for the bride. Enough breaks between activities, etc. We adjusted our plans accordingly. Now, two weeks out from the bachelorette, he demanded our full itinerary. He said it wasn't good enough and told us to start over. He aggressively messaged the other maid of honor, said we're denying the bride the weekend she deserves. And insulted one of the girls in the group, calling her a dumb bitch.

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00] When we explained we were keeping costs reasonable, at the bride's request, he dismissed our concerns. Saying others' financial situations weren't his problem. Bear in mind, this man is not working, not earning a living, not paying for anything, and especially not their wedding. The irony. We reminded him that both maid of honors were chosen to plan this and he should trust us. He refused, implying that we're failing as her best friends.

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not excluding the possibility of him doing this and the bride giving him hints or instructions in the background because she's not comfortable with confrontation or saying her mind. I'm burned out. I don't even know why I was chosen in the first place. I want to support the bride, but I can't tolerate this level of disrespect. Neither do I want to help plan another two bridal events in such a tense atmosphere. My plan is to follow through with the bachelorette, then tell the bride I'm stepping down as maid of honor.

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_00] Ideally, I would be uninvited to the wedding, but that will be up to her. Anyone have any suggestions on how to approach this situation? Now, obviously, there's a lot of red flags in one post here. The way she speed ran your friendship to you becoming best friend and then maid of honor really quickly. The fiance's behavior in this, trying to manage her bachelorette, even though he's not attending, insulting the friends about it, called someone a dumb bitch. Really concerning from him, obviously.

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_00] It's just the controlling behavior from him that's absolutely jumping out to me. This is a bachelorette, but imagine what the rest of her life is going to be like when they're married. And it may seem harsh, but I'd be absolutely dropping out of this. The dumb bitch comment in itself is enough to just say, No, I'm out and I'll be telling the bride, This is exactly what he said and this is why we're out. But new auntie says, Step down as it makes no sense that a casual friend like you were made maid of honor. She could have invited you as an ordinary bridesmaid,

[00:25:24] [SPEAKER_00] but it still doesn't make a ton of sense. People think it's such an honor, but you're unpaid labor to make sure someone else enjoys their special day. I think you're showing great restraint by quitting prior to the bachelorette, but I agree that if you did quit before, it'd ruin the event. Opie says, We used to work together. I think she made me maid of honor because she knows I get shit done and well. Someone else in the comments said that. Said that she's using me and that starts to resonate. EMR says,

[00:25:52] [SPEAKER_00] I don't mean this badly about you at all, but it's telling that she asked someone that she doesn't know that well to be her bridesmaid. I'm wondering if other people said no or dropped out already because of him. Hope she wises up before she marries him. I'd say that it's no longer doable for you to be a bridesmaid, but you'll come as a guest if she'll have you. Give specifics about what he is doing that caused you to come to this decision. Let her know that you're here for her if she needs anything.

[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_00] To be fair, after all this, I'm not keen on being in his vicinity and would rather not attend the wedding at all. But that will be their call whether or not they decide to keep me as a guest. OCPMS says, What other events are you supposed to plan? The bride and groom are supposed to plan their own events. Accept bachelor parties and bridal showers if there is one. OCPMS says, The bride expects our support in planning both the civil and religious weddings.

[00:26:51] [SPEAKER_00] Dealing with location, sourcing and coordinating vendors, setting up and taking down decor. Organizing surprises for guests. OCPMS says, To be honest, I would screenshot the message of the groom cursing at you and the other maid of honor. Send them to the bride and tell her you're stepping down. And not even wait till the bachelorette. Unless you've already sunk money into it. Then I understand waiting. OCP says, The money I've already put into it is not worth my peace. Also, he's coming along and I can't stomach a multiple hour train ride with him.

[00:27:22] [SPEAKER_00] Microbunny says, What do you mean he's coming to the bachelorette party? Like, are they having a dual bachelor slash bachelorette or is he just coming? In the city we're going to. We are traveling together but staying in different accommodations. I didn't put it past him to randomly join the bachelorette unannounced though. Someone asks OCP, the rest of the bridal party is a mixed bag. There are old colleagues. Study friends she's not close to. And one is the groom's friend's wife.

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_00] I can hardly believe that no one in the group is closer to her than I am. Except for the other maid of honor who she's known since childhood and is very close to. I definitely want to let her know that I'm still there and she can reach out at any time. I just can't morally support this relationship and this idiot's behavior. OCP then edits the post and says, Thanks for all your insights. It was helpful to have my suspicions validated whilst figuring out an exit strategy. It's Monday morning. I've messaged the groom asking him to stop intervening in the planning

[00:28:22] [SPEAKER_00] and to take a step back for the sake of the other maid of honor. I've also messaged the bride asking him to meet tomorrow in person. Gee whiz, him actually being in the same town as the bachelorette just seems way too odd for me and that he's purposely being in the same town and he will bump into them in my opinion. But OCP does update the post and says, First, thanks for all your feedback which comforted me and gave me the confidence I needed to step down ASAP. The morning after posting,

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_00] I messaged the groom asking him to take a step back as he made me and the other maid of honor feel uncomfortable. Things escalated. He was being very defensive, listing everything he said slash did, pointing to me being in the wrong instead of finding a way forward and eventually apologized for making me feel uncomfortable. I did not respond to his apology. In parallel, I messaged the bride and we agreed to meet the next day. In the meantime, the groom must have brought it up to the bride as she texted me letting me know she heard things became tense

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_00] and that we don't all hate each other now. I replied that this is the reason I need to talk to her. The bride and I met up yesterday evening. I told her I was flattered to have been chosen as maid of honor, but in hindsight, I should not have accepted. I explained that the situation blew out of proportions and her fiance crossed the line, exhibited controlling behavior, and was downright disrespectful. I shared that I can't be in a bridal party if I'm not treated with respect and if I don't morally support the relationship.

[00:29:50] [SPEAKER_00] I told her that this is not a breakup per se. I still want to be friends with her, but she deserves a maid of honor who can fully be there for the two of them. I also mentioned that the ball is now in her court as to how our friendship moves forward and if she still wants me there at the wedding. Her reaction was so underwhelming. She was smiling through it and saying it's okay. She said that her fiance talked to her about the situation, mentioning that things escalated. According to her, he was pretty shaken up.

[00:30:19] [SPEAKER_00] No shit, I bet he forgot to mention he instigated all of it. I'm not sure if I expected her to take accountability for her fiance's actions, but she did not apologize for what he said. Nothing. She seemed so unfazed when he said he disrespected me. She did not ask about the things that were said, did not mention she would speak with him either. This speaks volumes to me. I wouldn't want my friends to feel disrespected by anyone, let alone my spouse. She said she understood my decision

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_00] and she sort of expected it because she has never been in one bachelorette party that didn't end up in drama. In terms of logistics, she had it all figured out. She asked me not to cancel any hotel room because her fiance will officially be joining the bachelorette party anyway. She was initially supposed to travel with us, but stay in a different accommodation with a friend. Because of the heated situation, she opened up and said she doesn't expect the maid of honor to even attend the wedding unless there can be a resolution between her and the groom.

[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_00] I was again flabbergasted. I would have so many questions if two friends would have a problem with my spouse at the same time and would consider not coming to my wedding because of it. I understand she is marrying this man and decided that her marriage takes precedence over the rest, fair enough, but I would find this suspicious and use it as an opportunity to dig deeper and get to the bottom of the situation. I reiterated that I'm there for her, just not in a maid of honor capacity. We left on good terms,

[00:31:45] [SPEAKER_00] but I wouldn't be surprised if this marks the end of a short-lived friendship. I later called with the other maid of honor to inform her about my decision. Turns out, she has also been thinking of stepping down. It's such a relief to be out of this mess. I'm not great with heavy discussion, so I appreciate every one of you for pushing me to step down and speak to the bride ASAP. Edits. I cancelled the hotel room and let the bride know she would need to book her own rooms. She did not respond, but I later received a notification

[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_00] that her fiancé kicked me and my husband out of the WhatsApp wedding group. That served as a save the date for the civil wedding. I later learned that the bride asked the maid of honor to step down. She was also uninvited to the wedding. Claromancer says, sounds like the bride is too comfortable around drama. She isn't curious about the details of how you were treated and also doesn't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation. If I were in her shoes, I'd be freaking out and apologizing for my fiancé's behavior

[00:32:43] [SPEAKER_00] and reconsidering the relationship. Opie says, same. I'd want to know exactly what went on and reevaluate. Either she is complacent with his behavior, either she turns a blind eye because she doesn't want to face reality and jeopardize her relationship. Crazy for Swayze says, have you ever considered she already knows everything and just accepts it as being okay? I agree with everything you said, but all the responses tell me she knows what's going on and just keeps picking him and ignoring the rest.

[00:33:12] [SPEAKER_00] That's at least what it seemed like to me from what you wrote. Opie says, yes, that is certainly likely. Maybe it also makes her feel special that someone is fighting for her and making it look as though he's putting her knees before everything else. And obviously, the majority of the comments were saying that Opie is doing the right thing by stepping down in the situation. Some people suspect in that, you know, she's in an abusive relationship and doesn't quite realize it herself yet, but still doesn't blame Opie for backing away,

[00:33:41] [SPEAKER_00] looking after themselves in this situation. But what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from Carrie Early 1344 and it says, am I the asshole for refusing to give my former son a second chance? Throwaway account. I, 48 male, found out my ex, 49 female, had cheated on me and that the two children she had given birth to,

[00:34:10] [SPEAKER_00] 23 female and 21 male, only the girl was mine. I filed for divorce and my ex tried for reconciliation, but I couldn't live with so much doubt. Once we got to court, it was like a switch had flipped and she tried to keep me from the children. It didn't work though. I had really good lawyers. In spite of everything, I was still willing to be a father to Noah, fake name, but my ex can be very manipulative. She told Noah about his real dad and even introduced them.

[00:34:40] [SPEAKER_00] Since then, I became strict fake dad while he was called real dad. When Noah was 13, he told me that he no longer wanted to see me and that I'd tell a judge the same thing if I forced visitation. I asked him why and if I ever made him feel bad. Noah just said he wanted to spend more time with his real dad and didn't like my house rules. I was heartbroken, but I let him go and still made attempts to keep the relationship. I called, texted, sent presents

[00:35:09] [SPEAKER_00] and even invited him to events. Noah wouldn't respond or pass more messages to his sister. When Noah was 18, he legally changed his surname to his father's and told me there wasn't enough room for me to attend his graduation. After that, I gave up and resolved myself to live life with being a father to my daughter and son, 12 male, via my second wife. Recently, Noah reached out to me and apologized for his past actions and wanted a relationship again.

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_00] I was surprised and heavily skeptical and was right to be so. Apparently, Noah's real dad got married and his wife gave him an ultimatum and he chose her. I told Noah that while I'm sorry for what happened to him, I had no interest in being treated like an old pair of gloves that you only think about and wear when it gets cold. My ex thinks I'm being hurtful and petty, rich coming from her and my daughter says that she understands my pain but hopes that I can learn to give Noah a second chance. I don't know

[00:36:08] [SPEAKER_00] because I'm in a place where I'm fine not having Noah in my life or having any communication with him and I don't want to rekindle a relationship just for him to drop me again when his real dad changes his mind. Am I the asshole? Galaxy said not the asshole. While I completely understand everyone else's reasoning, I feel many are missing the most important point. Noah did not reach out because he saw the error of his way slash saw how his mother manipulated him against you. No, Noah is reaching out

[00:36:38] [SPEAKER_00] because his real dad tossed him aside. While it is certainly possible that event opened Noah's eyes as outsiders it's easy just to say forgive him he's just a kid. Being the person hurt is not so easy to just do it when the event is making you feel like a backup plan in any kind of relationship much less a father-son one. Having said that, while I wouldn't blame you for not accepting him at all, the most respectful thing for everyone involved would be to let the initial shock and anger subside then arrange a

[00:37:08] [SPEAKER_00] meet up and talk to him. During that conversation hear him out and figure out for yourself. Is Noah reaching out because this opened his eyes or is it out of anger and resentment at his real dad and using you as a replacement? Opie says I feel like I'm just a replacement or worse a holder until his real dad changes his mind. The commenter says to Opie Do you think you could ask him what he would do if that happened? Opie says I've thought about asking him that but honestly do I think I would believe him

[00:37:37] [SPEAKER_00] if he told me he was genuinely sorry and would still want a relationship with me regardless whether his dad was in the picture or not? The name change was a big gesture against me. Zinev says not the arsehole He's already 21 years old He had plenty of time to reconnect with you but chose to do it now because his dad dropped him. His mom may have manipulated him when he was a kid but he had plenty enough time to realize that when he became an adult. Also I don't get why his dad's wife would give his dad an ultimatum. He's an adult

[00:38:07] [SPEAKER_00] why an ultimatum was needed? Does he live with his dad? Is dad paying for his expenses? If it's about money then sorry to say but he's only trying to reconnect with you because of the money. Don't let anyone guilt trip you stay firm to what you want. Opie says I honestly don't know why his dad was given an ultimatum. He literally stopped talking to me directly when he was a teen and then ceased all other form of contact once he was 18. He had to ask my daughter for my phone number. TMS says your son

[00:38:36] [SPEAKER_00] because he is your son he was for more than half of his life. You were in the hospital on the day he was born. You changed his diapers. You're his dad like it or not. Was a middle schooler when he decided to cut you out of his life. I think maybe your interpretation of his motivations may not be correct. There's a pretty strong chance that when he saw that his bio dad would think nothing of giving up his relationship with him for a girl it reminded him of the dad who never stopped trying to love him. Even when he didn't really want that love and made him

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_00] realize what he'd lost. At 21 he's still very young and it sounds like he wants his dad back. Sure it could end in the two of you yelling at each other and never speaking again but there is also a very significant chance that this could be the start of rekindling a relationship. I don't think there would ever be a situation where you would say oh damn I wish I hadn't reconnected with my long lost son. You're lucky in there's only been 8 years. It would be much harder to reconnect if you reject him now just like his bio dad did

[00:39:35] [SPEAKER_00] and decide when he's 40 you'd actually like him in your life. I think it's fair to say that if the vast majority of 7th grade boys had a choice between a rules and stability dad or a fun no rules dad they'd pick the second one. Of course it hurt you but I don't think it reveals some great moral failing of his. He was a young person grappling with a very traumatic fact that his identity changed when it came out that half of his DNA came from a completely different person than he thought. Of the people who were traumatized by this paternity

[00:40:05] [SPEAKER_00] revelation I think his trauma would equal to or even be worse than yours particularly since he was so young when it happened. So you would be the arsehole for missing out on a chance to get your son back and if it doesn't work out that's okay at least you know. Opie says Noah stopped thinking of me as a dad long before I stopped considering him my son. So I want to ask can two people still consider family if they stopped thinking and treated each other as family and there's no blood relation. My licorice life

[00:40:35] [SPEAKER_00] replies to that saying of course they can. People choose their family all the time. My daughter still calls my ex-husband dad even though he's technically no longer a stepdad and she has a relationship with her bio dad. There's always room for more love. There's a lot of hurt on both sides of your situation so reconciliation won't be exactly easy but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Opie said but again Noah chose to reject me and I eventually got tired of being rejected and stopped thinking of him in that way.

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_00] He's choosing me when it seems like he can't try for anyone else and I don't choose that. You mentioned your daughter but did she at any point stop calling your ex-dad then change their way and if he was would she still be calling your ex-dad? And Opie adds an edit for the post and says edit for info just to be clear because I keep seeing this. I divorced my ex when Noah was six. My ex told Noah the truth about his parentage and when he was 10 and his real dad

[00:41:33] [SPEAKER_00] came into his life at around 12. This all didn't just happen when he was 13. By the time he reached that age he already had at least a year to process the information. When I asked my daughter since Noah wasn't talking to me if she thought her mom was pushing Noah to say those things she said no. Apparently Noah wanted to spend time with his dad but because of his work schedule it wasn't always often. But when it could happen it was conveniently during my scheduled time with Noah. I tried to see if we could work something out but my ex and Noah

[00:42:03] [SPEAKER_00] refused any compromise. So it was two months after that post that Opie came in with an update and says first I just wanted to say thank you to all the messages and comments and support. It really feels nice to have my feelings validated. After a lot of thought I decided to follow my wife's advice and write an actual letter to Noah regardless of whether or not I intended to send it. I explained to Noah how much he hurt me by refusing to see me, never inviting me to important events in his life, but wanting to meet or spend time with my

[00:42:32] [SPEAKER_00] son via my new wife and how legally changing his surname cut deep. I also wrote that in spite of everything I still didn't take any pleasure in hearing about his father's rejection of him as I understand how hurtful that can be. I said that even though I knew he was young I was still angry over what he did and a part of me felt resentful towards all the time, love and money I spent on him when I technically didn't have to. This letter felt very cleansing and I read it a couple of times before burning it. In the end I decided to reach

[00:43:02] [SPEAKER_00] out to Noah and ask my daughter for his new number. He changed it when he was 19 and didn't give me his new one. I sent Noah a message reiterating how sorry I was at how his father treated him but I was hurt how it felt like I was being treated as a last resort and the circumstances of his desire to reconnect doesn't make me trust the relationship. I told him that I was willing to have some type of relationship with him again but only under these specific guidelines. One, don't call me dad or refer to me as father in any way.

[00:43:32] [SPEAKER_00] We can readdress this in the future but right now it honestly feels too soon. Two, don't ever ask me for money. Cosigns for anything either. I'm not going to be his personal ATM for any reason. Three, you invite me to your things. I'll invite you to mine. Four, he's free to complain or talk to his bio dad with or around me but he needs to understand that I have no kind of words for that man and will either say negative things or nothing at all. Five, I expect them to be nice to my son and new

[00:44:02] [SPEAKER_00] wife and treat them with respect. Six, don't go running to your mom in regards to information about my, my wife or son's lives as it's none of her business. Seven, don't go running to your mother or sister for any problems you have with me. We either talk about it man to man or find someone else. I don't want them trying to put themselves into our business. Eight, he needs to understand that going forward our relationship if we continue to pursue one is going to be different and will take more work on his end than mine as he is less

[00:44:32] [SPEAKER_00] of a priority to me now that he's an adult. Nine, when I die the majority of my assets will be split between his sister and my son through my current wife and it will only be left a minimum requirement for him to not have grounds to sue. Again, I'm not going to be his cash cow. The rest of you can agree or disagree but these are my terms if Noah wants any type of direct communication with me going forward as this is the only way that I feel comfortable and how I believe I can protect myself if Noah ever becomes hurtful.

[00:45:02] [SPEAKER_00] This will also be his last chance and if he disappoints me again then I'm prepared to wash my hands of him because I have more to live for than just waiting to be loved by someone. Oh dearie me, that was a pretty bleak one wasn't it? And I totally get that last comment especially about OP wanting to protect their peace in the end. A lot of people were mentioning that he's talking a lot about money but also on Noah's end as well. He was young when this all happened and people were talking about childhood trauma which

[00:45:31] [SPEAKER_00] is absolutely the case in this situation. It just makes me think what happened in his childhood with potential manipulation and all those kind of things really really messy. And now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's have one more story. This was a suggested one over on social media to me. Thank you so much. You know who you are. It's from the true off my chest subreddit from background main

[00:46:02] [SPEAKER_00] 9216. And it says I talked to the dead first husband of my wife and my stepdaughter. Uppligatory English isn't my first language but I am on desktop. Trigger warning of death. I met her almost two decades ago. It was a party at a lake at the local university. We liked each other but our lives were very very different. I was finishing school that year. Had to do my year of service for my country called civic duty. We don't have it

[00:46:31] [SPEAKER_00] anymore and we would go to university far away. She didn't finish school but she started working early. I lived in a small town with my mother. She already had her own apartment in a really run down district of a huge city. It just didn't work. We kept in contact over the years. I wouldn't say we were friends. We were people who liked to catch up via text or phone every six to ten months. When I was home we hooked up but this stopped when she met her soon to be husband. I can't tell you

[00:47:00] [SPEAKER_00] anything about him because I never met him in person. They fell in love, married and she got pregnant with a daughter. They were happy together. I didn't really care. I thought it was sad that we didn't talk anymore but I understood. I wasn't as lucky as her when it came to relationships. If you read my comments to other posts you will see that I had my fair share of problems. I kind of accepted that I would never have a family, a stable relationship or at least more than three days in a row not being depressed. Let's say alcohol

[00:47:30] [SPEAKER_00] isn't the best idea in such a situation. At least I was high functioning. I did really good in university and started a career. It brought me back in my home region. I hadn't heard from her in several years. What I didn't know? My life was a cakewalk compared to hers at this time. Her husband got killed in a car crash. Some asshole was DUI. Not me but it was one more argument for me to stop and thought he could make the turn before her husband would pass. He couldn't.

[00:47:59] [SPEAKER_00] I never asked for more details. She doesn't like this topic and I try to respect it. She couldn't handle what happened and ended in a clinic for her mental health. Her daughter was with her mother at the time. The day she was released she had her own car crash. Turned out the doctors weren't joking when they told her she shouldn't drive for the drugs they were giving her. Back to the clinic. Here she saw on the book of faces that I was back. She wrote me and I answered. I visited her. She liked that I wasn't cursing at her for driving

[00:48:29] [SPEAKER_00] drugged. I didn't think I had the right to do it given my love to alcohol. I won't bore you with the details of how it proceeded. We married and built a house together. Her daughter didn't like me at first but we bonded the second I bought a PS5. She's a gamer. We jokingly say these are my genes. Neither her mom nor her dad liked it. My wife has gotten really good in pretending though. But I returned the favor in pretending I like horses. Don't worry. She won't find this. She can hardly use

[00:48:59] [SPEAKER_00] the printer of her computer. My stepdaughter caught me by my first name. I like it. After what I heard she had an amazing dad. I never wanted to be a father and I don't think I would be a good one. I told her that I didn't wish to replace her dad. She only believed me when I said to her that I would need the PS5 the whole evening. She would need to use her PS4 in her room to play Minecraft with her friends. She said something along the lines that good parents would share the console. I reminded her that I'm not her parent.

[00:49:29] [SPEAKER_00] She started laughing. Her mom hates me for that because she needs to be the one setting all the rules. I understand that some of you probably think I should help her with it and not just be the everything goes stepdad but she accepts me and she feels at home in our house. Her mom did and does an amazing job raising her. I think I do my best by respecting her and demanding respect when it comes to my stuff. She knows she can always ask me for advice and I'm far better in helping her with her homework than her mother. Every year they visit

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_00] his grave the day it happened. At the beginning I asked her if she wanted me out of the house that day because I understand they need the hours for themselves. In the third year they asked me to drive them. I waited in the car. We went to a restaurant afterwards. It was very silent. I had no idea what to talk about. The thing is I'm incredibly happy. I was gifted with a family I love. I had given up on it. I really had but I feel incredible guilt because a good man

[00:50:29] [SPEAKER_00] had to die for my happiness. So once every three months I visit his grave on my own and talk to him. They didn't know it and I had no intention telling them. I thank him and tell him about his wife and his daughter and his parents. If I happen to know something about them they have trouble with me. They are cordial but I can see it in their face. When I bring my daughter or come and get her it shouldn't be me who does it. And nothing will ever change that. Today is the day they will visit him. When my wife comes home from work and my daughter is home

[00:50:58] [SPEAKER_00] from school I think I will visit him the next days and tell him about this post. Tell him about other people knew he existed and he did an amazing job. Thanks dear reader for reading until here. I hope it wasn't too weird. I'm not sure if I will answer any questions. Writing about me feeling guilty because of his death already feels really hard. Oh these bloody onion ninjas are around again. What an absolutely lovely guy and I think we're going to leave that one here but what do you guys

[00:51:27] [SPEAKER_00] make of this situation? I'm going to dry my eyes now. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And this next story it comes from Realistic Cloud 3033 and it says my partner cutting off a lifelong family friend because of her inappropriate messages. So I am in a kind of fucked up situation. I mean I know I'm right to have my boundaries but I also feel guilty that my husband is cutting off help to lifelong family

[00:51:56] [SPEAKER_00] friends because of me. My husband is a doctor so it's normal that family and friends kind of come to us slash him for reassurance because someone you know either reaffirming what you were told or giving you a referral if possible makes people feel better. Zero issues there. I love that he is empathetic and it honestly makes me wicked proud of him that people think that highly of him. So he has a friend who he grew up with. Their families pretty much raised them together. They were always

[00:52:26] [SPEAKER_00] friends since we met but never like super close. Plus we live in different parts of the US. I've met her multiple times and she seemed very sweet. She also was married when I originally met her and has two kids. Well her father is very sick and with a type of cancer that has a low rate of recovery. We live in the northeast and they live down south so our medical care is definitely exponentially better. My husband has been helping consult and just being a good friend to them to make sure he gets the

[00:52:56] [SPEAKER_00] best care possible. This friend has been a bit needy and using him for emotional support. I get it. I'm not jealous because what we have is solid. Plus when he has his medical mindset that's it. Well over the weekend he woke up to some very questionable text from his friend. She pretty much declared her love for him. Claimed God brought them together through this and that she always knew they'd end up together. Like what the actual fuck? He told me as soon as he saw them in the morning. He messaged her back

[00:53:26] [SPEAKER_00] saying that what she said was highly inappropriate. She needed to find a therapist and he can no longer help out. She claimed she was just drinking and emotional. She also begged him not to tell me. We don't keep secrets. He blocked her number and I don't know what she told his mum exactly but she's so angry and apparently it's all my fault. We don't like each other either. I'm not the Christian housewife she envisioned. We for her son I guess. I didn't ask him to cut all ties.

[00:53:55] [SPEAKER_00] He did it out of respect and says that she has doctors and family to lean on. I feel slightly guilty because I hope that this doesn't impact quality of care. Maybe there was a way to cut her out and my husband helps her mum with medical stuff when needed. This whole situation has been making me feel gross. Am I the asshole here? I don't think I am but I feel bad. Absolutely not the asshole in this situation and you know she crossed a line that basically cannot be uncrossed.

[00:54:24] [SPEAKER_00] The I was drinking excuse ain't gonna undo what she said and her begging him not to tell you shows she knew exactly how inappropriate her messages were. As for the medical situation like your husband said there's other doctors in place he's got family to lean on she's not like left all alone or anything and I think your husband dealt with it in a decent way. He told you right away he set a boundary with her and you know he's suggesting that she get professional help and the blocking contact to prevent further inappropriate

[00:54:54] [SPEAKER_00] behavior. But the top commenter says not the asshole tell your mother-in-law coveting your neighbor's husband slash wife is unchristian right? Another commenter says not when mother-in-law sees the prospect of a better daughter-in-law sounds like she raised a gem of a man anyway though you'd think she'd have the sense to be proud of it. Twilight says not the asshole and I bet your mother-in-law has been feeding this woman all kinds of bullshit about you and feeding her ego. Realistic Cloud says I 100%

[00:55:24] [SPEAKER_00] believe that she is flaming this fire. Another commenter says your husband's a solid dude. We must protect him at all costs and OP says I 100% agree. Honesty and clear communication is a huge thing for us. So shortly after that OP comes in to update their situation and says I just wanted to post a quick update on our situation. My husband called his mother to try and set clear boundaries. I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_00] that boundaries apply to her and set things straight before they escalated more. Well apparently that crazy train had already left the station. He called her on speakerphone which he told her while I was in the room. She lost her mind and demanded they have a private conversation because this was a matter between family. Family. He corrected her and let her know I am family. She went on a rant about how I was displaying abusive and controlling behavior. She claimed I

[00:56:23] [SPEAKER_00] was isolating him from family like I did before. We went no contact with her once before because of her bad behavior and she blames me and I guess had been holding on to that. Like what the fuck? I had to leave the room then because my anxiety was too much. He is the most calm and level headed person I know and he was starting to raise his voice. About five minutes later he came into our bedroom where I was trying not to have an anxiety attack. He told me he let her know how disgusted he was with her behavior

[00:56:52] [SPEAKER_00] and disappointed that she didn't learn a lesson about trying to interfere with our marriage. He also informed her for an indefinite amount of time that it would be taking space from her. He also told her not to try and contact me. I have her silenced already. Oh one little fact that came out is that his mom and ex have been seeing a lot of each other. His mom has been helping with the kids while the ex friend and her mom are dealing with medical stuff for her dad. Just to address a couple of things. Yes, I realize I

[00:57:22] [SPEAKER_00] have an amazing partner. I love this man so much. I regularly tell him and show him how much I love and appreciate him so don't worry. The reason I thought I might be someone in the wrong is because I've battled cancer in my early 20s. During that I had a boyfriend cheat on me with a good friend of mine because he was overwhelmed and they tried to gaslight me into thinking it was my fault because of all the stress. I felt so abandoned and hurt I just didn't want to feel like I was making anyone else feel that bad. I know the

[00:57:51] [SPEAKER_00] situation is very different. I'm a bit of a people pleaser working on that with my therapist. Cancer is the worst and my heart hurts for anyone who is going through it. That includes the family of a person who is sick. I also want to say to the person who called me a narcissist because this isn't about me. I think it says more about you than me if that's what you took from my post was just that. Hope you have the day you deserve. Thanks to everyone else for the support and advice. I genuinely appreciate it. Plum Major

[00:58:21] [SPEAKER_00] says I read your old post to get familiar and I'm laughing at your mother in law's reaction. She's upset you're not the ideal Christian wife. Why that friend is going after a married man is totally the Christian thing to do. Your husband is a good man. I wish I read more posts where the husband had as much of a backbone as what yours does. You didn't do anything wrong. OP says she's literally the worst. She's so judgmental and controlling. One of her favorite things is to make comments and count how many drinks other people are having.

[00:58:51] [SPEAKER_00] One day I swear I'd end up snapping and letting her know that her coffee cup she always has with her does not contain coffee. Pink Pencil says you mean she hides her booze. Ooh sneaky. That's a huge red flag for alcoholism. Take it from a recovering alcoholic. OP says yep and she's very protective over a cup. Like she won't leave it on the table when she leaves the room for something. I think her comments on other people drinking are projecting her issues onto them. I will judge you says.

[00:59:21] [SPEAKER_00] You say that his mom has been taking care of the ex's kids. Did he and his friend ever date or would he just refer to her as an ex? As an ex friend? But good luck to you two. Hope things get to calm down that both these horrible women are out of your life. OP says ex friend. Oops they never dated or hooked up. He actually had a high school sweetheart type deal into college and his mom hated her too. Scarlett May West says her so mother in law had her heart set on your husband marrying a family friend and

[00:59:50] [SPEAKER_00] her hopes dashed. My late mother in law was upset for eons that she was not allowed to pick my husband's wife. He was the youngest of five and her only hope to achieve her goal. Not sure why she thought it would work since we dated for six years before we married. OP says my mother in law definitely had his whole life planned out for him. She wanted to pick his college then she expected him to move home after. She wanted to pick his wife. She feels entitled to grandkids. She also consistently asked him about moving back to his home state because

[01:00:20] [SPEAKER_00] they're getting older and she expects him to uproot his whole life to take care of her. He's told her that is absolutely not happening multiple times. It recently started ending their phone calls if she brought it up. Scarlett replied to that saying I feel for the both of you. My late in-laws believed husband will return home after studying out of state. Mother-in-law tried to get him to change his major after his third year because someone told her that his hometown needed more of a different speciality. I put another nail in my coffin when I defended him.

[01:00:50] [SPEAKER_00] We had been together less than a year. As for grandkids she was not a fan of them. Not sure if it was because grandkids meant her adult children were having sex or because she did not get to pick the other parent. Mother-in-law finally figured out that we would not move back there. However she did try to bring up us converting one of the front rooms of our present house into a much bigger guest room with a seating area so she could sit and read. That room only has two and a half walls and southern sun so she thought it would be perfect. Probably about

[01:01:20] [SPEAKER_00] double the size of the room she used when she visited. Just drop in walls and a door and bam happy mother-in-law. I knew that meant she wanted to visit more slash possibly move in and that was a hell no. We had moved here in part to save our marriage. She had been visiting too often and wreaking havoc. Luckily husband ignored her. Mother-in-law ended up moving out of state to live with her favorite child who luckily is unmarried. Wishing you lots of luck. You married her

[01:01:49] [SPEAKER_00] only child and she is not going to let go. Patty Marvel says weird question is he an only child? This pushy behavior of hers would make an iota of sense if she had no other children to glom onto. Lubey says yep only child. She apparently had wanted multiple kids but couldn't have any more. So he was a miracle baby. My mother-in-law did not want to adopt. She didn't want to end up with anyone's problem child. To finding out we couldn't have I couldn't have

[01:02:18] [SPEAKER_00] bio kids I think that was the final nail in my coffin for her. We are happily child free though. I would have totally been open to adoption if we had wanted kids. And good on them good on husband in this situation standing up to mother-in-law and putting her in her place. Do I think that's going to be the end of the mother-in-law? Absolutely not. But it sounds like the couple in this situation have each other's backs and that's all they're going to need going forward. But what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your

[01:02:48] [SPEAKER_00] thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story is a tree law story. Tree law tree law tree law from Brandon Nida. It happens over six years with multiple small updates and it's titled neighbor hired company to cut tree in my backyard. Context neighbor said he was tired of the tree over his driveway since it had significant wingspan. He hired a

[01:03:17] [SPEAKER_00] company and they decided to lock down over my fence to near stump. Police report filed have the company on security footage that matches the business cards. reaching out to property lawyer Tuesday to see if this is significant enough to follow through in court. And that first one was on May 26, 2019. They did share a picture of it over the tree. And for the podcast users all I can explain is that the base of the trunk it's almost like splits into

[01:03:47] [SPEAKER_00] two but one half of it has just like completely been locked down. The other side still stands tall. Someone asked a question to OP on it. They said I'm interested to know if he hired them to trim just what was overhanging his property which he has a right to do within certain constraints and they just went rogue or if he somehow convinced them to trespass to lop it off. OP says he claims no knowledge of the lopping off. Since this company is unlicensed it wouldn't surprise me if they just lopped

[01:04:15] [SPEAKER_00] it not caring but our relationship isn't great so wouldn't be surprised if he convinced them saying I didn't mind. So there was an update five days later that says end of week so I figured I'd post an update. The officer got the report done the same day and he was able to reach out to the company who cut down my tree. He said he would reach out to me to settle this matter but hasn't contacted me yet and doubt he will actually do so. The officer went above and beyond in getting a statement from the

[01:04:45] [SPEAKER_00] other parties and getting the contact information. I've handed over the police report and security video to my lawyer who is putting together paperwork. I've not been able to get an arborist to the house yet to evaluate the monetary damages yet. Maybe an update next week but this should be a slam dunk since all parties recognize the damages in the police report in case this does go to court. So it was four years later after this one before OP came back into the post and says this has been

[01:05:15] [SPEAKER_00] sitting in court for a while but I keep getting PMs asking for updates. Tree slash arborist company has default judgment pending as they have not answered anything in the near year since the case was filed. Neighbors Insurance believes the tree company should be held solely responsible and hasn't budged. No sediments offered yet to our demands of valuation. Near or around six figures valuation. Someone says it to OP unbelievable a four year ordeal

[01:05:44] [SPEAKER_00] and still not resolved. How's the tree doing? OP says two years were awash as the case wasn't filed. Case really picked up last year after a change of attorney. We've trimmed the tree since and fertilized to promote stabilization slash health due to a missing trunk but it'll have to be removed entirely. A bone replies saying and quotes saying no sediments offered yet to demands of our valuation near or around six figure valuation and says it was one tree and you are valuing

[01:06:14] [SPEAKER_00] it at up to 100k. Can I ask how you would get to that number? I'm being a wise ass honestly. OP says the arborist came in at a 30k valuation. Treble damages plus trespassing monetary. A bone replies saying ah treble damages the most expensive kind. Thanks and congrats on keeping this. 99% of threads like you started end up where we get no follow up. Keep the info coming. So a year and a half later the OP keeps their word and comes back again and says their

[01:06:44] [SPEAKER_00] insurance had a motion to dismiss denied. So settlement conference happened today. They ignored my lawyer's request to talk prior to get numbers. So the $0 offered from them in front of the judge wasn't a surprise. Our 125k request was 90k treble. 30k valuation from arborist plus cost to restore the land and it would be physically impossible to restore the tree with the development over the past 40 to 50 years. Yeah we were willing to negotiate.

[01:07:13] [SPEAKER_00] It's a giant game. Conference happened and the judge graciously got us from 0 to 20k and said it's a good deal. I turned it down and I suggested that if this is the carrier's only offer then we would go to trial as we aren't considering the professional's report and just an image of the stump instead. Some back and forth and nothing really moved including the defense disagreeing with NYS tree law that they were entitled to cut the property line regardless if

[01:07:43] [SPEAKER_00] it killed the tree. Judge scheduled another settlement conference for the attorneys but mandated I'm there which I thought was funny since I had no requirement to be there today but she was surprised I said no to what was obviously 20k they were going to offer when the adjuster picked up the phone regardless. One thing I did throw at the carrier after we disagreed with the tree was touching his house was his client defendant requested Google maps block his home and it's now impossible to verify except through satellite that it was touching his

[01:08:13] [SPEAKER_00] home. It never was. All of this is bogus talk from both parties since its settlement conference but to me and my attorney they're grasping at straws to get the judge on their side. So of course that people were curious and asking questions someone said have you checked the county auditor office? Many now have street level snapshots of each house as well as possibly higher resolution aerial photos. Obi says there's other methods like the county aerial maps that show

[01:08:43] [SPEAKER_00] you the tree never touched his property but I believe the homeowner was just putting his foot in his mouth as he claimed to all parties but I said he can do it with zero proof. The city said he's allowed to throw up the property line regardless of any damage, injury or death of the tree. No proof and obviously the tree had a 40 foot wingspan at that point which maybe I should get the arborist to adjust

[01:09:12] [SPEAKER_00] his numbers if that's the case because I didn't think we went that far and high. Harry Interaction says it sounds like only the other homeowners insurance company is involved. Did nothing come from the landscaping company being unlicensed? Was there even more details on why they decided to lop it off at the base? Obi says we have a default judgment on them. No response from them since filing. Assets and insurance are questionable so it might be blood from a stone. I assume their insurance also attempted to see about this which is why they are

[01:09:42] [SPEAKER_00] hesitating to pay anything either. So it was five months after that one. Obi came in with their final update and said even though my last thread had some doubters that the case could take so long. The last update was the homeowners insurance agreed to 20k and I turned it down and requested to go to trial. One redditor in the previous thread said there is no way that's not this is worth any of it. But well, homeowners came up to 33k and accepted that and

[01:10:12] [SPEAKER_00] rolled the dice on the tree company. The judgment came out after we did an inquest hearing and the judge awarded the remaining balance of our damages 63k and OPE supplies the proof which is a court document showing the 63k. So yeah, some cases can take long and to the doubters who think trees aren't worth money, here it is. Edits, lawyer is one third of anything recovered. Lawyer got 11k so far, me 22k,

[01:10:41] [SPEAKER_00] insurance check, we do the same split for anything we get from the tree company. And the top comment on all this says, wow, six years, must feel like a relief now. Six years of dealing with that. I mean, I know it must be in between things here and there, but it's always sort of like in the back of your mind and I'd hate to have something like that. It would make me anxious having something going on like that in the background all the time. With any sort of court stuff going on, I remember dealing with some

[01:11:10] [SPEAKER_00] of my dad's stuff and it was just over like over a year and that was enough to absolutely exhaust me by the end of it and I just felt such a relief when it was all over. It just felt like something else. But yeah, we love a tree lore story, don't we? If any of you find any more tree stories, don't forget to put them on r slash mark narrations. But anyway, what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to one more story.

[01:11:40] [SPEAKER_00] Now our next tree comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from Shadow016. Just a quick warning before you get into it, there is no update on this story so if you do want to skip it, totally up to you. The last story of this video. I know a couple of people have been saying that they don't like the stories without updates which you know, I totally understand. I totally get it. Some people say that they do enjoy you know, a bit of a mix up with different stories. There's a lot of channels that cover pretty much some of the same stories, right? And part of this for me as well, I quite enjoy seeing

[01:12:09] [SPEAKER_00] your comments on the stories without the updates to see what your opinion is on these kind of things. But anyway, this story is called Am I the Arsehole for refusing to let someone check my phone after a co-worker accused me of taking pictures of her? Throw away account. So this happened at work. I-18 male was on my stuff normally, scrolling through my phone and watching YouTube videos when a co-worker, 17 female, suddenly accused me of taking pictures of her. That caught me off guard.

[01:12:39] [SPEAKER_00] I told her I hadn't taken any photos and that I was just watching videos on YouTube. But she didn't believe me and started getting louder and kind of annoying drawing attention from nearby co-workers. She said if I had nothing to hide, I should just show her my photos. Luckily, the manager was nearby and came over because of the commotion. We both explained our sides. The manager said that if I wasn't hiding anything, I could just show the last two pictures on my phone to clear it up quickly. But the thing is, is that I had a lot to

[01:13:09] [SPEAKER_00] hide that I didn't want to show. Nothing illegal, creepy or weird and definitely nothing involving her. But still private stuff I didn't want anyone else seeing. So I refused. I told the manager I was willing to prove my innocence in other ways but I didn't want to compromise my privacy. As a good faith gesture, I showed my phone's battery usage stats which clearly showed I hadn't used a camera app recently. Also suggested to check the security footage after reviewing the footage, it showed my phone was

[01:13:38] [SPEAKER_00] pointed at the ground the entire time and the angle wouldn't have allowed me to take a picture of her. So I was cleared. Even so, a few of my co-workers told me I should have just shown the photos because she had the right to know if she was harassed. I told them that the evidence proved my innocence and there was absolutely no need to show anything, especially not to her, someone who I've never trusted. So am I, the arsehole. Caramel says to this, not the arsehole.

[01:14:08] [SPEAKER_00] Everyone thinks I remain character these days. When I worked in retail, me and this lady crossed paths. I was looking downwards and then shifted my glasses and kept walking. Then I heard her scream, you just looked through my purse, which I obviously didn't and I told her I adjusted my glasses and looked at her like she was crazy. She was slash is. The cameras were a perfect solution in this context as it wouldn't assume guilt on anyone's end. Commodore says not the arsehole in quotes, if you have nothing to hide, just show me your phone and

[01:14:38] [SPEAKER_00] says is the rally cry of people who don't understand privacy or boundaries. You're not TSA, Susan. My phone isn't public property just because you feel entitled. Accusations don't override rights. She needs to chill. Candyland says not the arsehole. If she wanted to make allegations, then the onus is on her to prove it. The manager was out of line suggesting that you had to defend yourself simply because she made a baseless claim. If she had suggested

[01:15:07] [SPEAKER_00] that you touched her inappropriately, would that set off an investigation? Are we at a point where people can't use their phones around others for fear that someone somewhere will accuse them of making recordings? If she's that sensitive, then she shouldn't appear in public spaces where she may be recorded. Does she pitch a fit over security footage too? But what do you guys make of this situation? Do you think OP should have even shown anything on their phone, the battery usage, etc?

[01:15:38] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And this next story comes from Life in a Seaview Estate. Alright mate, you asked the stories about nightmare neighbors and honestly, I got enough material from my estate to fill a bloody book. I've lived in this coastal estate, but almost my entire life. Let me paint you a picture of this place. Once upon a time, this town was a proper holiday destination. People from London would come down for a weekend at the seaside.

[01:16:08] [SPEAKER_00] Kids building sand castles, that sort of thing. Then the fishing industry collapsed in the 80s. The big factories shut down in the 90s. And now we're what the council calls an economically challenged coastal community. What that really means is we've been left to rot while they build fancy new developments in the next town over. Most of the houses in our estate were originally holiday chalets, never meant for year-round living, but here we are. The wind comes straight off the North Sea and

[01:16:37] [SPEAKER_00] goes right through these walls like they're made of paper. Half the properties are owned by slumlords who haven't done repairs since Thatcher was in office. When you've got an area this poor, it brings problems. I'm not judging, I've had my own issues with drink over the years, but the combination of no jobs, crap housing, and zero opportunities means drugs and booze are everywhere. The council keeps promising regeneration, but all we get are more bedding shops and off licenses. Anyway, that's the backdrop.

[01:17:07] [SPEAKER_00] Now for the actual neighbor stories. First up is Mickey, from Two Doors Down. Mickey lost his job at the processing plant about five years ago and sort of gave up. His wife took the kids and Mickey turned his front garden into what he calls a reclamation yard, but was actually just a massive pile of junk. The centerpiece is this fence he built last summer. The council had given him a warning about the state of his garden,

[01:17:35] [SPEAKER_00] so Mickey decided he needed to tidy up by building a fence around his junk so no one could see it. But instead of buying actual fencing, he spent three weeks collecting discarded pallets from behind the industrial estate. Then in a single weekend of what must have been non-stop work, fueled by what neighbors reckoned was a considerable amount of cheap lager, he constructed the most horrific barrier you've ever seen. It's not just that it's made of pallets, it's that they were all different sizes.

[01:18:07] [SPEAKER_00] Some still have shipping labels on them. And he's secured them together with a combination of rusty nails, bits of wire, and what appears to be old belts. The whole thing leans at a precarious angle, and whenever we get a proper storm, which is about twice a month, sections of it blow down and scatter across the street. But Mickey just goes out the next day, collects the pieces, and puts it back up exactly the same way. The council's been out three times to tell him it's a hazard, but they

[01:18:37] [SPEAKER_00] never actually do anything about it. Mickey now sits in the front room watching through the window, and if he sees anyone from the council approaching, he simply doesn't answer the door. Then there's the situation with the Thompson's place next door to me. The Thompson's moved to Spain two years ago, but they couldn't sell their house in this market, so it sat empty for months. Then about a year ago, I noticed the lights on inside. Turned out some lads had broken in and were using it as a place to crash.

[01:19:06] [SPEAKER_00] Now, I'd normally have called the police straight away, but here's the weird bit. They were actually improving the place. I watched for a week as they fixed the broken gutter, repainted the front door, and even mowed the lawn. They were quiet, never had parties, and would politely nod if they saw me. I decided to confront them one evening, just to figure out what was going on. The ringleader, a guy called Stevie, explained they were between homes, which I took to mean homeless, and just needed

[01:19:36] [SPEAKER_00] somewhere to stay for a bit. They promised they weren't doing anything dodgy in there, and as a thank you for me not reporting them, they'd keep an eye on my place too. I reluctantly agreed, partly because I didn't have the heart to make them leave, and partly because the police response time around here is measured in days rather than minutes anyway. The strangest part, when they eventually moved on about three months later, Stevie said his uncle had offered them work up north. They left the place spotless.

[01:20:06] [SPEAKER_00] They'd fixed the leaky toilet, patched holes in the walls, and even left a thank you note for the Thompsons apologizing for the unauthorized tenancy. The most bizarre thing was that they'd washed all the dishes they used and neatly stacked them in the cupboards. When the Thompson's son came to check on the place, he was confused because it was in better condition than when his parents left. They never told him about Stevie and his mates. Some things are better left unsaid. The real nightmare

[01:20:35] [SPEAKER_00] neighbors though are the Kellys, in the house at the end of our row. Dave Kelly fancies himself a businessman, but everyone knows his import slash export business is just a cover for dealing. His house is like a railway station. People coming and going at all hours, staying for exactly three minutes then leaving. Not exactly subtle. Their house had been raided four times that I know of, but somehow Dave always gets away with it. The rumor is he's got an elaborate system of

[01:21:04] [SPEAKER_00] hiding spots that the police haven't figured out yet. The worst part isn't even the dealing, it's the drama that comes with it. Dave and his girlfriend Shelly have these epic screaming matches in the street at 3am. They'd be out there hurling abuse at each other while the rest of us are trying to sleep. Then without fail, they make up dramatically with lots of crying and declarations of undying love. Usually around 4am. Just as everyone has managed to fall back to sleep. They've also got this massive dog.

[01:21:33] [SPEAKER_00] Some kind of Rottweiler cross that they never walk. The poor thing is kept in their tiny back garden and barks constantly. I've called the RSPCA twice, but nothing ever changes. Last Christmas, the Kellys outdid themselves. Dave and what I can assume within some kind of guilt-induced festive spirit bought hundreds of pounds worth of outdoor Christmas decorations. We're talking massive inflatable Santas, reindeer with actual flashing noses, lights that play jingle bells on repeat, the works.

[01:22:03] [SPEAKER_00] Our electricity on the state is dodgy at the best of times. And sure enough, at 7pm on Christmas Eve, the whole circuit blew. No one had power for 36 hours, including Christmas Day. Kids couldn't play with their new toys, Christmas dinners couldn't be cooked, and the only house with any light was the Kellys because of course they've had an illegal generator. The council keeps saying they're working on improving the estate, but the only recent change was when they installed a posh new sign at the entrance, which was stolen

[01:22:32] [SPEAKER_00] within 48 hours and later turned up as part of Mickey's pallet fence. Despite all this, there's a weird sense of community here. When old Mrs. Parsons couldn't afford to heat her house last winter, everyone on the street took turns bringing her hot meals and sitting with her for a few hours to make sure she was okay. Even Dave Kelly sent his kids over with a spare electric heater, which I strongly suspect fell off the back of a lorry. It's a strange place to live and probably sounds like hell to an outsider, but it's home.

[01:23:03] [SPEAKER_00] That said, if you know anyone looking to buy a slightly damp two-bedroom house with a lovely view of Mickey's pallet masterpiece, do let me know. And trust me, I've barely scratched the surface of the weirdness that is my estate. If you'd like to hear more about our little coastal area, like yourself, I've got a ton of stories. Cheers. Just on the Mickey side of things, some people build absolutely amazing pallet fences. I've seen people, I've seen like videos of people doing it before. I know a guy who once tried that in a warehouse that I

[01:23:32] [SPEAKER_00] worked at. He would take like the old pallets that were of no use, like the half-broken ones and apparently, I saw a picture of it once. I mean, this guy actually nailed it together. He didn't use old belts or anything like that, but the state of this thing, you know, there's certain slats are all crooked. Some of them are up, some of them are down. Some of them were like this really dark blue color, which I think, I don't know, I always heard that they belonged to a certain company. I didn't know the ins and outs of that, but some of

[01:24:02] [SPEAKER_00] that story was really bringing me back. Now, the estate that I lived on, I think it was it was cared, it sounds like it's cared for much more than the council looks after OP's estate there. As we were right next to the city, but the amount of characters doing wild things such as like the dealing and the building random constructions, arguments at 4am in the morning, just absolutely screaming your lungs off. Yeah, I've said all that as well.

[01:24:31] [SPEAKER_00] I can recall being a young teen and, you know, I used to live in flats, so we lived on the bottom floor and above us was another flat. And above us, there was a there was a family that's known for trouble, dealing, been arrested multiple times. One of those families that, you know, you just don't just don't push. And they were screaming right outside my window like at 3am or something some stupid time in the morning. I don't know what time it was, but it was a ridiculous time in the morning. There was screaming going on side.

[01:24:59] [SPEAKER_00] She's effing and jeffing to the balcony above us. He's shouting back down at her telling her to piss off and all this kind of thing. I just like just woke it up and my eyes are like all blurry and I just poked my head at the window. Like I just remember her saying, what the fuck are you looking at? It's like, oh fuck. But yeah, absolutely wild times. And personally, I don't know about everyone else here. I love a neighbor story. So if you have more of

[01:25:28] [SPEAKER_00] those coastal area stories as well, I would love to hear them. But what about you guys? What's your thoughts on that one? And let's move on to another little story, which is from Beasting who says, I had one who would play loud music all day. The same song over and over. It was U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly. For months. He'd chuck water at my cat, open my post, yell

[01:25:57] [SPEAKER_00] at birds in his garden, bang on his ceiling, my floor when I watched TV, would bang on my door when I had a shower and would loudly tell the neighbors that I had the audacity to put the washing machine on when I went out. It was a fucking nightmare and really loud and annoying. I tried to ask him to keep the noise down a few times. He couldn't hear me knocking because of the music. Had to resort to reporting him to the council, which took months because he was a council tenant and they don't do council versus

[01:26:26] [SPEAKER_00] council problems, despite me being a private tenant. Anyway, he reported me for being loud and I got in more trouble than he did. He moved out on Christmas Eve. It was so good. Toby Jack says, old man next door. Lived next to him for years then I don't know what happened. He decided he needed his TV blaring full volume all day every day. Tried to talk to him about it but he either wouldn't answer the door or would scream abuse at me. So I ended up having to phone the police at 2am one

[01:26:56] [SPEAKER_00] morning because I'd had enough. Fallout wore from him after that. He kept me awake late at night then set an alarm to get up at 4am and whack his radiator with a spanner. Then run it along so it sounded like a train. He knew I was up at 6am for work and must have slept during the day so he could torment me at night. Ended up with him getting an ASBO but shortly after that he fell off a barstool in a local pub, ended up in hospital and never recovered properly. He died after about three months.

[01:27:26] [SPEAKER_00] Not gonna lie, that first night he was away, I sobbed with relief to get a good night's sleep. I'll never take good neighbours for granted again. The next one comes from Dust Patient who says, A neighbour on my street decided to let off fireworks yesterday. Instead of setting them off in the evening however, he thought it'd be a better idea to set them off at 4.20am yesterday morning. He decided to set off multiple very loud fireworks at 4am on a Wednesday morning.

[01:27:56] [SPEAKER_00] These things were ungodly loud. I'm over 7 or 8 doors down and they woke me up so I can't imagine how the neighbours either side even felt. The guy was drunker than a bridesmaid on a hen party, singing and laughing loudly to himself in between lighting over a dozen fireworks, one after the other. Someone must have called the police on him because by the time I was leaving for work at 7, there was a police car outside his house. I later found out that when the police had arrived for the noise disturbance, he got loud

[01:28:26] [SPEAKER_00] aggressive and refused to stop lighting more fireworks and was arrested. It got me thinking, I'm generally very lucky to have lovely neighbours flank in my house, even with a colourful character a couple of doors down. But I'm curious about the rest of the UK. Another one says, walking home from work to my pregnant wife, I saw blood running down the street. Got to my apartment block and there was blood running down the steps. Going up the steps, I saw there was blood all over the walls.

[01:28:54] [SPEAKER_00] Got to my front door and it was splattered with blood. It was even on the ceiling. I tried to open the door but it was locked from the inside. Suddenly, the letterbox popped open and there was a pair of eyes looking up at me. The door flew open, I was grabbed and pulled inside and the door quickly shut and locked behind me. My wife was standing in front of me looking terrified. She tells me that the guy next door we had never met was running a security business from the apartment. That day, he fired one of his employees

[01:29:24] [SPEAKER_00] who went home and then came back to knife his ex-boss. I don't know if he survived but we moved right after that. And there was a little confusion in the comments below this one about whose eyes was looking through the letterbox which I'm not sure if you have them in the US, you have mailboxes don't you? I'm not sure if you have letterboxes but it's basically a flap in the door that you can post mail through. Opie confirmed it was his wife's eyes that were looking through the letterbox, not the guy. The guy didn't get into the apartment and pull Opie in. It was the wife.

[01:29:54] [SPEAKER_00] What an absolutely terrifying situation to return to but Irony Lace says, I lived in a townhouse style apartment before I got married. It was me and my roommate upstairs and a guy and a roommate downstairs. One of the guys had a girlfriend and a baby that was over all the time and eventually moved in along with one of those little terrier dogs which weren't allowed to have. Cute dog but it would poop all over the common entrance that we shared and didn't pick it up. Eventually the roommate moved out and it was

[01:30:23] [SPEAKER_00] just a couple, the dog and the baby. The walls were really thin and we could hear the couple screaming at each other and the baby wailing most nights. She didn't work and was there all day. So if a door accidentally slammed or you walked down the stairs too heavily she would come out and yell that you were going to wake up the baby. The Saturday we moved out we bumped the wall trying to carry the couch out to the truck and she came out and screamed at all of us. We also had assigned parking and she liked to park in our spots.

[01:30:52] [SPEAKER_00] It was a nice apartment but I was glad to get out mostly due to them. I felt bad for the guy. He'd always been pleasant and seemed really embarrassed by her behavior. Mullenberry says my parents next door neighbors are terrible the wife in particular. When their kids were in school the mother would sit in the driveway at 6 30 a.m. and honk the horn until they came outside to leave the school. One day my mom asked if they could refrain from doing that. Oh hell no they can't.

[01:31:21] [SPEAKER_00] Honking continues and everyone in the house decides to honk several times every time they pull out the driveway just to be pricks. They still continue to do this years later. They accuse my mom of having a garden on their property. My parents have lived there for 25 years. Garden has been there for 25 years. They call a land surveyor who laid out the edges of their property. Sure enough garden is 4 inches over the line. This lady goes nuts spray paints a huge neon orange line

[01:31:51] [SPEAKER_00] between the yards digs up the garden puts a tiny fence in it and starts storing their trash bins on the area. In the back corner of the yard. Super inconvenient if you ask me. Keep in mind this is a neighborhood with a civic association. You're not allowed to even put up a fence without voted on permission. She accused my parents of putting dog shit in their yard. My parents don't have a dog but this family has three wiener dogs that don't get walked. She stomps over to my parents house and starts screaming.

[01:32:20] [SPEAKER_00] My dad dealt with her. He said she was screaming nonsense and seemed super paranoid. That my mom was plotting against them and sabotaging their house. The whole thing is weird. Don't be that guy says my neighbor at my parents had OCD for sure. He would mow and leaf blow his yard every day. Every single day. If it rained the second it stopped he would go out there and mow and leaf blow. He would leaf blow his roof. Then he would leaf blow his cars. Then wash his

[01:32:50] [SPEAKER_00] cars. Every day. Either at OCD or hated his wife. He never talked or waved to anyone either. Strange dude. The neighborhood kids did superglue a leaf to his driveway. I wish I was there to see his reaction. Edit. Just to add a bit to clarify. It wasn't like this guy was obsessed with his lawn. In fact it really wasn't all that nice. He would actually mow it every day. I've seen people always outside gardening and shit but he just mowed and leaf blew every day. There had been the days where the blade of the

[01:33:20] [SPEAKER_00] lawnmower didn't even touch the grass. He would leaf blow the yard despite nothing being on the lawn. It would seriously have been faster for him to just walk over and grab the four or five leaves that would be on his yard on a given day. My family just always dealt with it. It's his yard, he has a right to do whatever he wanted on it but my god the sound of his leaf blower would just drone on forever. My next door neighbor blew a gasket on Sunday morning and walked over and yelled at him one day. He stopped and did his daily blow and mow in the afternoon.

[01:33:50] [SPEAKER_00] Bruce says god damn it my eyes lit up when I saw this one but there were already a thousand one hundred comments. Anyway, me and some roommates had a neighbor, an old lady and her son who was in his forties probably. Honestly, we never did anything that we know of to initially get on their bad side. We'd always be sitting on our front paws drinking beers and when the son would come home from work, he'd always do the same thing. He wouldn't look at us, he'd just say stuff in his creepy grumbling voice like I'm gonna cut your dicks off, I'm gonna

[01:34:20] [SPEAKER_00] run you over with my car. This was just as he was walking into his house and he'd always quickly shut the door. He called the cops on our dog for being out in the yard, dog at large, at least six times. His mom was once raking leaves in her yard. She raked them into a giant pile next to the fence, then picked them up and threw them over the fence into our yard. Seriously, the same amount of effort would have put the leaves into a bag. But here comes the coup de grace. They were having a yard sale so we thought we'd fuck

[01:34:49] [SPEAKER_00] with them, thinking they'd behave themselves with customers around. We sat on our porch and just watched all day. The son was getting really aggravated. He would periodically say stuff like, what are you dipshits looking at? To which we'd say stuff like, what are you gonna tell your mum on us? Admittedly childish, but we were sick of this dude. Sick of hearing his shit. Sick of dealing with the cops every other week. A few hours go by, he pulls out a gun and points it at us. My buddy closes to the

[01:35:19] [SPEAKER_00] door, ducks inside and calls the cops. Me and my other roommate are on the verge of shitting our pants, totally frozen. The two or three older ladies browsing their shitty wares are totally shocked, speechless and petrified. He's yelling a bunch of shit I don't remember. He goes back inside in a huff. We run into the house, lock the doors and wait for the cops. He got arrested, never saw him again. Move the fuck out of that neighborhood ASAP. Oh my word, that could have gone so much worse.

[01:35:49] [SPEAKER_00] I mean, I guess the real warning was there when he's mumbling about cutting your dick off. But local comes in with a story and says, I remember little about direct confrontations with this lady, but my parents had a few stories to tell. There was a neighbor that everyone referred to as Betty the bitch. She would do all sorts of shit to anyone that lived near her. She once called the cops on a guy for warming up his truck in the dead of the Wisconsin winter. He was disturbing the peace. She'd laugh the handle if she ever heard anyone use

[01:36:18] [SPEAKER_00] profanity. Did you leave your dog out for an hour so it can enjoy the sun? Prepare for cops to come over for the dog that's been barking nonstop for six hours and being neglected. Her children were not allowed to interact with those people. Being anyone in the neighborhood. And then, the doozy. I was maybe five or six at the time. I was having fun riding my bike up and down the street as young children want to do. Turns out her kids were drawing with chalk all over the road. Massive spander with doodles.

[01:36:49] [SPEAKER_00] I rode my bike over their artwork and she flipped her shit. Ran from her porch over to me and knocked me off my bike. She was screaming insults at me for ruining her children's work. One of my parents saw this shit happening and let her have it. I think she was visited by the police but I can't be certain. She was a see you next Tuesday. And I always think after a Nightmare Neighbour video about how many situations go on every single

[01:37:18] [SPEAKER_00] day across the world with neighbour drama like this. And then it always brings me back to my youth and I think about all the people that I met that I was younger. All the different characters that were around the area that I lived and you know each individual there was an archive of stories themselves. I can remember a couple of adults when we were younger who would randomly turn up with massive like thick black cabling and we

[01:37:47] [SPEAKER_00] didn't know what it was. We never questioned it either. You know they were adults. We were playing football. We didn't really care what they were doing. We just thought you know they're doing their job whatever that was. But you'd see them you know splitting this big cabling open and pulling out whatever's inside of it and then checking all the waste into a storage and just taking off the insides of the cabling which clearly now looking back they were stealing cabling from the local railways and then selling on the copper I guess. I'm assuming it was copper. But eventually they

[01:38:16] [SPEAKER_00] were arrested and put away for some years because of what they were doing. Apparently they I don't know how much they stole but it was a hell of a lot. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this collection of nightmare neighbor stories? Do you enjoy the nightmare neighbor stories? I know everyone likes something different every once in a while and of course do you have your own nightmare neighbor stories? You're more than welcome to share with me directly through email which you can find on the

[01:38:45] [SPEAKER_00] channel or post them on r slash mark narrations. It's really easy to create a throwaway account if you want to do that as well. Just search it up on reddit. Really simple to do. I would love to see your stories for another collection of nightmare neighbors. And this next story it comes from Gonzo Fish and it says my 31 male wife 37 female will no longer let me pursue my hobbies. Exactly as the title implies.

[01:39:15] [SPEAKER_00] She says I'm not allowed to pursue my own hobbies anymore as they are unhealthy. Before our marriage seven months ago I was interested in all sorts of things. Playing video games for at least a few hours per week. Collecting Star Wars figures. Some may say that was a bit childish anyways but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Painting Warhammer 40k etc. These are things that I've done since my early teens. My wife wanted us to make healthy lifestyle changes after our

[01:39:45] [SPEAKER_00] marriage. Which at first I took as just eating healthier and exercising etc. I was totally on board for it. Everything was fine until I went down to the basement one day and noticed all of my Star Wars figures gone from the display shelf. All that remained were some limbs from a few of the figures. My wife was at work so I sent her a text asking what happened to them. In the meantime I rummaged through all of the garbage and finally found the figures in the bigger garbage next to the garage.

[01:40:14] [SPEAKER_00] Most of the cards were torn up and the figures dismembered while others were completely burned or melted. I took a picture and sent it to her asking if she did it. That night after not replying to any of my texts I confronted her. It turned into a huge argument about how my hobbies are immature and that she was repulsed by them. Even threatening to not have sex with me until I gave them up. In the heat of the moment I agreed with her. If only to get her to

[01:40:44] [SPEAKER_00] stop yelling at me. We haven't talked about it since and I've unfortunately been abiding by her rules for the past seven months. Though I've been secretly playing video games, buying figures, etc. She only found out about it one time and she destroyed it immediately. I can't keep this up any longer. I want to have my own hobbies without her getting upset. What is the best way to bring this subject up again and how can I let her know how much my hobbies mean to me?

[01:41:13] [SPEAKER_00] You absolutely get yourself out of that situation ASAP. This is an abusive situation. She's isolating you from the things that you enjoy, destroying your possessions and then trying to use sex as a weapon to try and control you. If you think about it in your own head that you're hiding your hobbies, your hobbies, it just shows how unhealthy everything has become. I have a million and one hobbies. I sometimes paint Warhammer, I do a lot of art, occasionally crochet.

[01:41:42] [SPEAKER_00] I love having hobbies and so do a million of grown adults who also enjoy these things. My brother is a huge Star Wars collector and if someone went immediately to try and take those away by destroying them, etc. There's no way past that for me. That'd be it. It's simply abusive but a commenter says that this is abusive. She loved you for years while you did your hobbies so what's changed now? She's shaming you for your passion and throwing out and destroying your stuff without talking to you about it.

[01:42:12] [SPEAKER_00] Was this a long time argument? Did she get after you for gaming slash having collectibles or was it just one day she had enough? We had a few small disagreements in the past about me playing video games but it was mainly just because I had played for too many hours. She never said a word about any of my collectibles. The commenter says you are 31 years old. Your wife doesn't get to let you do stuff. You get to do stuff on your own terms. She's being completely unreasonable and very controlling.

[01:42:43] [SPEAKER_00] Single use pseudonym says exactly this. Marriage doesn't mean she's your mom or your boss. You are still your own person. Yeah, take your partner into consideration and all but Jesus fuck your wife, husband, partner doesn't have the right to tell you what you're allowed to do. Other controlling partners are not healthy, not sustainable and don't make for a happy environment. Dad of two boys replies saying the melting and ripping up Star Wars stuff is insane. How would his wife feel if he decided he

[01:43:12] [SPEAKER_00] only wanted to see her in revealing clothes so he just cut up and threw out all of her favorite clothes but kept the slutty ones? OP edits the post and says thank you all so much for the words and support and guidance. It truly means a lot. Getting a different perspective on this has made me realize that she may be going through some internal or mental issues. She was the love of my life before all of this and I'm not going to give up on her just by getting a divorce without knowing the reason for her act in this way. I'm going to ask if she'd be willing to go

[01:43:42] [SPEAKER_00] to a therapy session and move on from there. OP adds another edit and says currently at my best friend's house drafting an email to send to my lawyer first thing in the morning. I decided to hook up my Xbox in the living room television and gauge what my wife's reaction would be when she came home from work and saw me playing. She immediately went to our bedroom and slammed the door. I walked in on her angrily texting something on her phone before she screamed at me that I was going back on my promises and that playing games is

[01:44:11] [SPEAKER_00] unhealthy. I kept telling her that I deserve to have my own hobbies and she told me that no real husband has those kind of hobbies. I basically told her that she was free to go find a real husband and I packed a small bag and drove to my friend's house. I feel kind of relieved but also sick to my stomach. I will keep updating when I can. You are all so supportive and deserve to be kept in the loop. The top commenter to that edit says I'm going to be real with you. You cannot stay with this abusive woman and live a happy life.

[01:44:41] [SPEAKER_00] Divorce sucks but admitting you made a mistake and choosing a partner and moving on now is better than admitting it after wasting 5 or 10 or 20 or more years being unhappy in this mess. Now here is another perspective. My fiance is not into video games or action figures but I still have a ton of video games and action figures displayed prominently in our living room because I'm into them and she likes when I'm happy. That's how healthy relationships work. Edit 3.

[01:45:11] [SPEAKER_00] Opie edits the post again and says my wife has been texting me non-stop asking where I went and telling me to come back to the house. She even claims she was pregnant and that I was abandoning my own child only to backtrack a few minutes later. I'm making sure to have all these texts in case my lawyer thinks they could come in use. A couple of days after that Opie adds edit 4 and says spent the morning talking to my family and a few other of my friends about the situation. They all agree that a divorce needs to happen whether or

[01:45:40] [SPEAKER_00] not she is mentally ill. My sister even said that she had a bad feeling about her. I saw how happy I was and didn't want to impose at the time. My lawyer has suggested not to confront or communicate with my wife until divorce proceedings can be put in motion. Currently going to my house while she is at work to gather my valuable belongings. And then a little over two months later Opie adds another one and says edit 5. Not sure if anybody is still keeping up with my post but I figured I'd give another update.

[01:46:10] [SPEAKER_00] The divorce proceedings are currently underway. My ex-wife has been incredibly apologetic for not only the main incident in my post but also for how she's been treating me in general. She also agreed to pay me a lump sum for the figures. We came to a mutual agreement in terms of the value. Overall she's been acting surprisingly reasonable throughout all of this. I feel like this is a positive turning point in my life. Thank you all for giving me the courage to finally take action. And after that one I was just like good on

[01:46:39] [SPEAKER_00] Opie for actually following through with that divorce. I just hope that they don't turn around and get back together because she seems to be changing again. Because she's quoting Opie she's been acting surprisingly reasonable throughout all of this. It just feels like another attempt at manipulation to me and there's people mentioning mental health issues which there's always the possibility but as we've seen time and time again sometimes people are just assholes as well. But what do you

[01:47:08] [SPEAKER_00] guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now there is a couple of warnings on this story that I am going to read out. It talks about struggles with weight and mental health and generally the mood on this post is sort of very dark and bleak. So as always if you do want to skip it please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description along the timeline below. Thank you.

[01:47:39] [SPEAKER_00] This story is from at Santa Chick and it says 28 female. My dad looks like Santa, 60 male and acts weird about it all year round. A little weird. 10 years ago mum, 53 female, left dad, 62 male. Dad gained a lot of weight and started going mountain man. Kids started asking if he was Santa and he went with it. Now it is part of his identity. To be Mr. Santa. He keeps his beard

[01:48:09] [SPEAKER_00] long, wears a lot of red and keeps gaining weight to look the part. Other than being concerned about his almost 150 pounds weight gain in 10 years, he's also taken it over a line. It was fine at first because it was only seasonal and he handed out little prizes and candy canes to kids. Now that my eldest sister Jane, 35 female, had her two kids, five female and four male, dad wants to be called Grandpa Santa. The kids tell everyone Santa is their grandpa and

[01:48:38] [SPEAKER_00] are super excited about it. Jane hates the idea that her kids are being lied to and have told them it's just a game. But my dad does this stupid thing where he winks and goes, it's our little secret when they ask. So the kids are still convinced their grandpa is Santa but also thinks their mother is too old to believe or bitter. It's stupid. We want to talk to him now before it gets worse. Now that the kids are older and my middle sister Megan, 33 female, is

[01:49:08] [SPEAKER_00] expecting her first kid. Everyone has said it needs to be addressed. The wee one is due in June. So we're trying to do this now. So dad has time to de-Santa before Christmas season, which seems to start before Halloween in our area. So we are just not sure how to tell my dad to stop. I could use some advice. Thanks. How do we get my dad to stop? OP added some more info on this and said, Jane feels it

[01:49:37] [SPEAKER_00] is unhealthy to have a real person constantly playing mythical Santa. If he had just dressed up, played the part, then went back to the North Pole, metaphorically, during the rest of the year, it wouldn't be too much of an issue, I didn't think. It's really hard to see dad like this. He has a lot of health problems from the weight gain and I think he might have cut his life short because of it. He's close to 350 at this point and he isn't a particularly tall man. It's lots of stress because he takes the Santa thing very seriously.

[01:50:09] [SPEAKER_00] OP talks about what she thinks made it worse in her father's life. OP says, I know it got worse when mom married again. He feels like he isn't special. I know the cause and that he is lonely, but it's very alarming to see him miserable but trying so hard to be Santa. And he was dating a really nice woman for about two years, but my mom remarried. He got caught up in the Santa thing and they broke off. It wasn't a huge thing, but I feel the weight gain and continued insistence that she play along

[01:50:39] [SPEAKER_00] made her uncomfortable. Obviously, I'm not a doctor, but it just feels like, you know, dad's using Santa as some sort of coping mechanism for, I don't know, possibly depression or because of the divorce, etc, etc, and it gives him some kind of purpose, some attention and, you know, connection with people. And the only way to approach this is with love and being gentle and saying, you know, we're concerned about your health and the way that this is going. Maybe talking to a professional if he's up for it. But it was around

[01:51:09] [SPEAKER_00] eight days later that OP updated their post and says things are not very jolly around here. I-28 female took the advice from the post and then talked to someone about it. I got a therapy session and talked for about two hours. At the very end of it, I figured out a few things that just weren't working for me. It was those things that the therapist suggested I bring up to my dad, 62 male. I went to talk to dad about it. He didn't want to hear it, but he actually listened and we had a good heart to heart.

[01:51:38] [SPEAKER_00] I said, dad, I need to talk to you about grandpa Santa. He said, yes. OP said, I know you aren't Santa and the kids know it as well. It causes issues with Jane and her husband. It needs to stop or only happen around Christmas. On top of that, I'm concerned about your weight. I just want you around when I decide if I want kids or not. I would like you to get help and we'll go to sessions with you if you agree. And dad started crying and he finally told me he knew he had an issue.

[01:52:08] [SPEAKER_00] He just didn't know how to solve it. He was afraid the kids wouldn't love him anymore and that we would leave like mom did. I told him that I would help him with whatever he needed, but that mom wasn't coming back so he needed to move forward. I said I loved him, not the grandpa Santa and that he needed to work on losing the weight or he wouldn't make it to the kids high school graduation. So everything was really good for a few days. I got dad some exercise clothing. He picked red. I let it go because

[01:52:37] [SPEAKER_00] we were making progress and he went to the pool with me. We actually had been doing about 30 minutes exercise at the gym and he was looking really happy. I really saw changes in him, especially when a little kid asked if he was Santa and he said no, I'm Bob. I told Jane, 35 female, about it and she said that while it was good steps, she was not bringing the kids around until we stopped with the Santa business, which came down to she wanted him to shave his beard.

[01:53:07] [SPEAKER_00] I told her that would not be a good idea, that he was making progress and we should be more concerned with his health, not his beard. She said until the beard was gone slash trimmed down, she wasn't bringing the kids around him. She had been talking to people and they suggested he was too mentally ill to be around the children at all. I told her it was fine but she needed to leave dad to me then. Well, the dumb idiot told my dad all this and now he refuses to do anything because he already lost people he

[01:53:37] [SPEAKER_00] cared about. He won't talk to the therapist and he comes to the pool but he looks miserable doing it. Generic Dreadhead says it sounds like you took this on as a personal project. Why don't you all sit down like adults, you and your two sisters and speak to your dad about it? Some might use the word intervention. I don't know if that applies or if they are still a thing slash frowned upon. Sounds like despite them being the ones with kids slash baby incoming, they've been more or less happy to let you sort out the Santa thing.

[01:54:06] [SPEAKER_00] I don't like Jane. The fact that she trusts that she has been talking to people and trusts their grand sweeping statements more than her family is pretty telling. Oopie says I took it on because I thought it might be better to have one person helping and not a bunch. But how my sisters can get, it is complicated. It was working too. But I'm hoping with some weight loss, we're down two pounds, he will be a bit more happy. Slytree says way to go Jane. It's a fucking beard.

[01:54:35] [SPEAKER_00] Just let it go. Oopie says I don't even care about the beard. He's obese. A lot of obese men have beards. I'd like to see him healthy again. He can look like Gandalf at this point for all I care. I just want my dad back. I am literally knocking on my head right now thinking what the fuck was Jane thinking? You recognize that your dad is in a vulnerable place mentally right now, especially around people abandoning him. And what is she going to do?

[01:55:05] [SPEAKER_00] Holy shit. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from Alexander Thompson who says I, 17 male, think that it's time I need to thank my step mom, 42 female, for being there for me. It wasn't until yesterday that things hit me. At 4pm I was doing some math and then I

[01:55:35] [SPEAKER_00] felt I really needed a break. So, I walk about the room and then go over to my other desk to read the bible. And then I did something which I don't do that often. I opened the drawers and dusted the family photo album. I tried to revive these old memories as I looked at pictures of my fun and carefree childhood days. And then, as I flipped the pages, I come across a change. A transition. The change was special, rewarding and much needed. I went from being the child of a

[01:56:04] [SPEAKER_00] single parent to have a stepmother. That was when I was 3 years old. I knew that she was my stepmother since the beginning. I wasn't too young to not remember what happened. Fast forward 14 years. She's still here and she's still there for me. She treats me as if I was a biological child and I can't imagine growing up without her. From toilet training as a toddler to math homework at elementary school, as my emotional support and as someone who I can trust, bank on and look up to.

[01:56:34] [SPEAKER_00] She's filled the void. And I never realized the significance of the role that she played in my life. Until now. I felt guilty, thankful and sorrowful all at the same time. It was almost as if I had taken her for granted. Does she feel the same about me? Why didn't she have children of her own? Why did she treat me as her own? Is she regretful for what she did? Is she happy? Jesus, I can't sleep. It's 6am in Columbus and I've been up since 3am.

[01:57:04] [SPEAKER_00] I can't sleep. My questions remain unanswered and I don't know if I should talk to my mom about this. Does she expect me to be thankful for all that she's done for me? Is she treating me like her own son because we both have brown hair? Does she feel satisfied for having me in her life? Because I sure am indebted to pay her back for her care. What's dad going to say about this? Does he have an explanation? I feel like an asshole for all the times that I screamed at her when I was an adolescent. Immature and stupid. How did she deal

[01:57:34] [SPEAKER_00] with all of that? Why did she have to go through all that? I feel so bad about myself. I feel like I'm on the verge of falling off the edge of a cliff. And then I made this account. This is the first time I'm using it. I still have no idea how this works. As a student, I have no time for something like social media and connectivity. But I really need some advice on this and I'm really disturbed. The top commenter said to OP on this one, at 17, for you to come to that realization is completely awesome.

[01:58:03] [SPEAKER_00] She's your mom, even if she didn't give birth to you. When she married your dad, she knew you were an added bonus and decided she would take on that role. It is never too late to tell her how you feel. I don't think you took her for granted. I think you're a child growing up. No kid grows up thinking, wow, my parents sure do a great job putting pork chops on the table and helping me with math. It's part of growing up and realizing the sacrifices people who love you make. You're a pretty awesome kid. Now go tell your

[01:58:33] [SPEAKER_00] mom how awesome she is. Oh, bloody hell, don't get those onion ninjas started already. Anyway, five days later, OP updates their post and says, I did it. I told her everything that I wanted to tell her. Asked her the questions to which I could find no answer. But things did get a little delayed because I was waiting for the right time to do this. And yesterday, the 28th of February, was the day it happened. I had to plan things out. I wrote a brief letter and I gave her the family album, etc.

[01:59:03] [SPEAKER_00] But all of these ideas were inspired by the advice that was given to me by some very nice people on my last post. A big thank you to all of them. Presentation. I tore a page from my waste book. Watch The Birth of Calculus to understand what I meant by that. I kept things as simple and brief as possible because I believe that beauty lies in simplicity.

[01:59:32] [SPEAKER_00] People always screw things up by overdoing stuff. The Letter. Mum, there's a lot I have to tell you. But I'll be keeping this brief and saving the others for later. I thank you for always being there for me. I thank you for never letting go of me. Thanks for all the values that you've taught me. Thanks for raising me in a very nice way. Thank you for helping me become the person I am today. And as I look back at the past, I've been taken aback by the way I screamed at you, took you for granted, had a bad perspective about you.

[02:00:01] [SPEAKER_00] And I'm thankful that you stayed by my side all through those stormy adolescent years of my life where I had no control over my rational self. I'm very sorry that you had to go through all that. It's just that I came to the realization of this only a few days ago. That's what I wrote on that sheet of paper. I then placed that sheet in the family album which has some of the earliest pictures of us together. I told her that there's something important that I needed to tell her and I handed the book to her just before she was about to watch America's Newsroom

[02:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] at 9am ET. Reactions? Spoiler alert! We broke down together. She put on her glasses and opened the book. She looked at me and said that she loved the days of her youth and then I told her to read the letter that I had written for her. She replied, a letter? I don't understand where this is going. And then she read it. When she was done reading it she looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes and she said, no, I need to be thankful to have someone who could acknowledge this.

[02:01:00] [SPEAKER_00] She couldn't hold it no more. She broke down, I broke down, I'm breaking down as well. We broke down on each other's shoulders. She said that it's a day that she won't forget because it made her feel successful in raising up a child that would reflect the same care to her. She said that she wanted to be my mother and take care of me as her own child because she saw me as her own child. But now I'm just going to turn this one straight to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your

[02:01:29] [SPEAKER_00] thoughts down in the comments below. And this next story it comes from not willing to share from the Am I the Asshole subreddit and it says, am I the asshole for kicking out my mom's boyfriend? When I was 17, my mom came into money. She tried to keep it quiet but she paid off my dad's debts, bought him a small house, paid off her debts and paid for my sister's college and set up funds for mine. She had a boyfriend at the time and shortly after him and his son who was seven moved into our new house.

[02:01:58] [SPEAKER_00] Over the next few years, my mom bought my sister a house after she graduated college. Her boyfriend lived with us and didn't pay anything but he did work. When I was 21, my mom got diagnosed with cancer. It wasn't good. She sat me and my sister down and went over exactly how much money there was. She intended to give her current house to me and both me and my sister were left with a large sum at the end of it. She asked if I would allow her boyfriend to stay in the house with his son until he got his own place. I agreed.

[02:02:29] [SPEAKER_00] Before she died, she told her boyfriend he would need to look for his own place. I had time to save more for that journey. For the last four years, he has continued to reside in the house with his son. I haven't minded because we get along okay. I pay all the bills but he does buy food for him and his kid. He's dated on and off and mostly kept the women out of this house which I respected him for until his current partner. She's been in my house three times and at first, besides feeling a little uncomfortable, I was

[02:02:58] [SPEAKER_00] okay with her. The last time this past weekend was the point where I lost my shit. I was making myself some lunch when she came walking downstairs, grabbed a plate and went to go grab food out of my pan. I asked her what she thought she was doing. She started telling me how I should look for somewhere else to live and leeching off my dead mum's past relationship as an adult was pathetic. I hollered for my mum's old boyfriend. He came down and I told him. I don't know what his current thing thought but I wasn't going to be disrespected in my house.

[02:03:28] [SPEAKER_00] He wouldn't even look me in the eyes as he mumbled something about my mum promising him the house and he was just being kind, letting me stay. First, that isn't remotely true. Mum pulled him and I together after she asked if he could stay to set expectations. My mum met him shortly before she won the money and told him and us girls that she had no intention of leaving him money. She did set aside for his son for college. When he gets there but he cannot touch it. Only a son can. He's lived in this house almost 8 years

[02:03:58] [SPEAKER_00] without paying a dime. He should have plenty of money and if he doesn't, that's on him. I told him he had 30 days to leave. I wasn't going to house someone who would lie and disrespect me in my house. He left that night with his son but his ex-wife called me to tell me I'm cruel and an arsehole for his son losing his house. He's here every other week. I really feel like my mum didn't expect him to still be here but my sister said she feels like I'm breaking my promise to my mum and that made me feel like maybe I am the arsehole.

[02:04:29] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says if it happened exactly how you said it you're not the arsehole. If she did say he had time to save but would need to look for his own place that means she never imagined or wanted him staying for long so you're breaking no promises. Did she leave him any money or assets? It's totally possible that your mother would be livid if she knew her boyfriend was still living with her son after four years. Opie replies that saying no she created a fund for his son for college but that was the only money set aside for him or his son.

[02:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] It's a generous amount enough for four years to hide dollar school. Anything not used for school would be given to him on his 25th birthday from what I believe she told me. A lawyer and accountant are in charge of those funds not me or my sister so I only know what she told us before she died. She was never married to or engaged to her boyfriend. He lived with his sister and was saving for his own house when mum met him. Him moving in with us was supposed to be temporary and allow him to save to buy his dream home but he never left.

[02:05:28] [SPEAKER_00] My mum was like that though. She had a big heart and sometimes people took advantage of that. Especially after the money. She bought him a brand new truck when his car broke down but beyond that and smaller gifts like TV, computer etc. for birthdays and holiday gifts she did not leave him money. He had no joint accounts my mum paid for everything and he was supposed to be saving for a house the whole time that they were together. A commenter says guessing to the missed thangs over the years he's lived rent slash utility free

[02:05:58] [SPEAKER_00] in OP's house. I'm also giving the stink eye to the sister laying the guilt trip on OP for evicting him. OP says I don't think my sister meant any harm. Probably feels a little sad like me that his son won't be around. I don't expect we'll get to visit with a kid. He's 15 and we both like him and have known him a while. The three of us gamed together some over the years and usually did an outing once every month or two to arcades or amusement parks or something like that together. The commenter says

[02:06:27] [SPEAKER_00] I'm curious just how long your sister thinks he and son should be allowed to freeload off you. She doesn't have the warm fuzzies for him does she? OP says no but she's kind of a pushover like our mum was. Super kind hearted but to a fault. Heck maybe I am to an extent. I just don't put up with disrespect. The commenter says was his girlfriend shocked and believed him or was she trying to start the takeover or at least try to? It's possible he lied to her but it's also possible she knew but

[02:06:57] [SPEAKER_00] was wanting to come in and take over. It happens all the time. I'd hire movers if they left anything. Do not let them come back in. It could be hell getting them out. Lucky they left. OP says she seems smug the whole time so I suspect she put him up to it because he and I always got along before this. He didn't argue when I kicked him out. He did text me and asked to come by this weekend to get his stuff and asked if I'd be willing to talk. I told him my dad and boyfriend will be here and he agreed to that and how the girlfriend reacted

[02:07:27] [SPEAKER_00] when she found out. She sat with her arms crossed when he and I talked but she didn't say anything else and she left with him. OP responding to another comment saying thank you so much. My mum was the sweetest person and when I was a teenager I feel like I was a nightmare to her. I'm thankful I was much better in my late teens and 20 and 21 so she got to see me mature a little before she passed. I wasn't always the best daughter but she was always the best mum. I think part of letting him stay so long is having

[02:07:57] [SPEAKER_00] bonded with his son but also I liked having someone else around who loved my mum too. There were nights I would wake up from a nightmare and end up in the kitchen and he would hear me and just come make me a cup of coffee and sit and share a story about her. His son loved mum too and some evenings we would get take out and watch movies and joke about what commentary my mum would have if she had seen the movie with us. My sister lives a state away so we only really see each other once a month or so. I like not being alone in this big house.

[02:08:26] [SPEAKER_00] I do have a security system and the locks have changed. He's coming over tomorrow to get his stuff. Someone accused OP of saying basically this was a creative writing exercise and OP said neither me nor my sister were teenagers when my mum passed away. I was the youngest at 21 and the funds have been in a trust but it wasn't related to this story and the character limit made me already limit things I said. I won't have full access to the funds left to me until I'm about 30 but I can request additional

[02:08:56] [SPEAKER_00] access through the trustees. I get monthly funds for bills and spending. My mum paid for people to manage both me, my sisters and her boyfriend's son's trusts. Yes this college fund is inner trust and well this is why his dad has no access to it. Personally I love Reddit. This is a throwaway because I don't want to dox myself when my actual account has photos of myself and my pets. And no one in my real life knows about the money except family and my mum's boyfriend who doesn't even know how much money just that there was money.

[02:09:26] [SPEAKER_00] Not even my boyfriend knows. Edit to add, Journey was my mum's word to her boyfriend when we all sat down which is why I used that word. She was super into historical fiction romance novels and she used some old phrasing in real life sometimes because of it. My sister and I used to tease her for it all the time. So OP went to post an update and said, I know the other sub is very subjective on updates so I figured I would post it here. I do want to take a moment to address some things I saw in the comments. One, there are trusts set up and neither me

[02:09:55] [SPEAKER_00] nor my sister has full access to the money left us. This was done both because my sister and I were in our early twenties when my mum died and she wanted to make sure we had some stability before we had access and to protect us from people who may try to take advantage especially while we were grieving. Two, I have a lawyer. He has already informed me legally to my area what eviction laws are and my mum's former boyfriend will be served with formal eviction papers just to cover myself even after today. So to the update.

[02:10:25] [SPEAKER_00] My dad came over, decided not to have my boyfriend over since he doesn't know about the money side and I wasn't trying to have the boyfriend out the situation this morning and brought along my cousin. For easier telling, I'm going to call my mum's former boyfriend Chuck. Chuck showed up about 10am my time and talked to my dad and then asked if he could have a couple of minutes alone with me. Dad nodded so my cousin and him went into the kitchen and Chuck and I sat in the living room. I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to go as it had but I'm glad

[02:10:54] [SPEAKER_00] it did. Chuck started with an apology. I don't remember all of the words but said the basics were he missed my mum. He's been lonely but not alone thanks to me and his son. He was sorry for what happened and that he got caught up in lust and let someone else fill his head with ideas that he owned up to the mistakes and should have never put up with someone who would disrespect me or my mum's memory. He tried to hand me a cashier's check for $15,000. He said it wasn't much but he wanted me to know he appreciated me and living with me and

[02:11:24] [SPEAKER_00] that he wanted to pay back some of what he owed. I refused to check both in part because I never wanted his money but I also don't want to give any possible legal leg for him to stand on if this is somehow him trying to stay. I told him the first part and told him to put it towards a house. He told me he is living with his sister but he's going to look at houses with a realtor next week. He did say his son is asking about when our next hangout date and said both me and my sister are welcome to arrange time with him. After all of that my dad and cousin helped

[02:11:54] [SPEAKER_00] him get all the stuff out of the house that he owned. He had brought a U-Haul and he gave me back my house keys. He apologized again and left. Not what I expected but it went really well and I feel a lot less like I let my mum down. A couple of the comments on this update said I'm just being nosy sure but how did the woman who thought she's getting you kicked out of your house respond to it all? Hope he says no clue. At my house she just seemed smug and bitchy. I didn't ask Chuck about her and honestly don't care.

[02:12:24] [SPEAKER_00] My house is nice but it's not like it's multi-million dollars or anything. Hope he responded to a deleted comment and said all of the here's coming for your house comments on my post kind of made me paranoid. Much happier with how he handled things even if the check made me a little paranoid too. Another commenter says where did all the money your mum got come from? Was it inheritance? How much did she get? Seems like a lot to buy so much. Opie says I won't disclose any of that and it's 100% irrelevant to the judgment

[02:12:54] [SPEAKER_00] of the topic at hand. So Opie came in with another update about 10 days after that one and said previous post on my profile I'm too lazy to link. This is probably going to be my last update. It's not. Unless something unexpected happens but I thought I would just give a quick update on Chuck. So Chuck called me last weekend and again yesterday. He put an offer on a house and yesterday got accepted. I expected a close date in early next month but I'm very proud of him.

[02:13:23] [SPEAKER_00] I know everyone expected more drama and honestly some of the comments have me worried. But it's been really good. He thanked me a lot for letting him have so much time here. Offered me some money. One more time for his time here which again I declined but I did offer to help him move in when the time comes. Moving sucks. He put down almost half for a down payment so he definitely was saving money during his time here. I'm glad that everything happened was an encouragement for him to get into a home of his own. I talked to his son yesterday

[02:13:52] [SPEAKER_00] after he got out of school. We're going to play laser tag this weekend with my sister and he is excited for the new house too. And then it was about one month after that. Opie came in with what was titled their final update. Which says I didn't expect to come back but I had a surprise this past weekend and thought I would share some positives. So first off Chuck got his house. He closed and moved in the past week. Invited me over on Saturday to see the house and told me he had something for me.

[02:14:23] [SPEAKER_00] So some background on my mum. Mum was an amazing kind woman. She was also heavy set and very self-conscious. Most of the photos I have of her are snapchat pictures she would send. She hated pictures of herself and she absolutely refused to pose for a camera. I've made many comments since she passed and I worry I won't remember what she looked like since so many photos I have are either old or filtered. So back to present day. Chuck invited me and my sister over and showed us his new place.

[02:14:52] [SPEAKER_00] He thanked us for being amazing people and then he handed us each a photo album. Guys, he had hundreds of photos of my mum printed off reach of us. He told us he hated that she filtered her photos and that he has secretly been taking photos of her the whole relationship because he loved the real her. It snagged photos of us with her at the zoo. Photos of her on vacations. Photos of her napping. Photos of her during hikes. Both me and my sister were bawling looking through these pictures of my mum.

[02:15:21] [SPEAKER_00] We never knew we needed. He had put some little card notes for each date of the photos and some descriptions on some. He managed to capture her smiling and laughing. Things she would never take a picture of because she didn't like her smile. To me, this book is priceless. So that's it. Chuck is amazing. Maybe we've had one bad moment but it doesn't define him or I. We love my mum and that matters. We're all going to get together for my mum's birthday in a few months and just celebrate the woman she was.

[02:15:51] [SPEAKER_00] And a comment which was downvoted but Opie replied to it to give some extra context. The comment said, My mum didn't like to have pictures of her taken. My dad struggled a little to find a picture of her for a memorial service. At the after service lunch I was sitting next to my sister and an aunt started to take pictures of us. We both automatically dropped our heads and put our hands up with no regrets. People have a right to not have their pictures taken against their will. I feel bad for the mother. To which Opie replied to that saying, My mum didn't like

[02:16:20] [SPEAKER_00] the way she looked. She actually enjoyed photography behind the camera. She saw herself very differently than we did. And she did take photos. She just used filters because she had issues with self-image. I'm very thankful for the photos. They are the real, authentic her. Top comments said to that saying, That's so wonderful and touching. And I love that your mother was so beloved during her life and now. And so glad that you updated a great resolution to a moment of poor judgment. And I gotta be honest, coming out of this,

[02:16:50] [SPEAKER_00] I was quite surprised with the way things ended. And I'm glad that Chuck was able to turn it around because he definitely messed up initially. But taking that responsibility instead of fighting back and they maintain their connection to honor someone that they both loved. I think that's an absolutely amazing way to end it for me. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now this story comes

[02:17:20] [SPEAKER_00] from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from AfterAd3961 and it says, Am I the Arsehole? I'm not following my husband's family tradition. My 28 female husband, 29 male, comes from a very traditional family. While we disagree with his family on many things, there's never really been an issue until now. I'm currently 8 months pregnant and my husband and I couldn't be happier as we've been trying for a while. Since I first found out I was pregnant,

[02:17:50] [SPEAKER_00] we've been discussing names for our child. In my husband's family, the tradition wants the child to be named after his granddaughter. Basically, firstborn men in his family only have two names, James or Henry. My husband's grandfather was James, so his name is James too. My husband's father is called Henry, so our child should be too. And so on and so forth. But my husband and I didn't really like calling our child Henry. And although it's a beautiful way to honor family members,

[02:18:19] [SPEAKER_00] we really wanted our child to have a name that would be personal, that would truly be his. So we chose another name and decided to wait until after the birth to reveal it to everyone. This week, my mother-in-law came to visit us and help us set up for the baby. She brought us some presents, amongst which was a bunch of clothes in which she hand embroidered the name Henry. I said that it was nice and thanked her for it, but we told her that we wouldn't be naming our child Henry, as we already told her in the past. She started insisting and saying that it

[02:18:49] [SPEAKER_00] was a tradition, so it had to be that way. I explained to her that we'd rather give our child a name that we chose and that Henry could be his middle name. She immediately went to my husband and started saying things like, you're not going to let her do that to our family, and making it very dramatic, saying that I was breaking a tradition that went back hundreds of years. Honestly, not sure about that. My husband tried to explain that we both agreed on the name, and all the reasons why we made that choice, but she wouldn't listen.

[02:19:19] [SPEAKER_00] She suggested that we name him Henry on paper as his legal name, and then called him something else. I thought that would be confusing for him, and told her that he would be named what we chose. She kept begging my husband, and saying that I was ruining the family tradition, and at one point I lost it, which is partially to blame on hormones, I think, and told her that it was our child, so we did what we wanted, and we didn't have to follow a stupid tradition. She stormed out, and my husband has since received texts

[02:19:49] [SPEAKER_00] from his father and sister accusing me of making his mother feel really bad, and some other stuff that I don't really remember. I get the importance of tradition, and it can be really beautiful, but I also think that shouldn't be an obligation, and it's okay to change things. We won't change our baby's name because we're really set on it, wrong for not following the tradition. I'm not entirely sure, and I'm mentally exhausted by all this drama. Edit. I've seen many comments mentioning

[02:20:18] [SPEAKER_00] they saw similar stories in the past. I'd like to clarify, those weren't mine. All of those events happened two days ago, but it's crazy to see how many families have similar traditions. I really thought this was a super rare thing. Now I can remember a story some time back where they lived in a small town, and every child was named this one particular name, and it got really confusing just going around town to banks and stuff, and just confusing in situations where you're having to hand over your ID, and you're like, oh no,

[02:20:48] [SPEAKER_00] that's Derek XII. But it always just feels like there's no true reasoning behind it, it's just tradition, and therefore it has to happen. Like it's just on autopilot. In the end, your mother-in-law's reaction is just boundary pushing, from approaching you with the embroidered clothes, to trying to get your husband into a us versus her situation, and I think you were super generous to say about Henry being like a middle name in this, but in the end, simply not the arsehole.

[02:21:17] [SPEAKER_00] No J Caesar says, I will never understand this. What if your family had the same tradition? Who wins? Not the arsehole in the slightest. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and give your sweet boy whatever name you and your husband choose. Edit to add, if you're having a girl, OP responded saying, honestly, no idea. And it's so confusing and unpractical too. Thank you so much. Serious Eye says,

[02:21:47] [SPEAKER_00] I work in finance and deal a lot with older clients and their beneficiaries. People with money love naming their kids after themselves. We have a family here that has a huge trust. All the grandkids are in it. All of the male grandkids have the same fucking name. Literally five of them have the same name because of tradition, similar to this. The paperwork is an absolute nightmare and all of them have had multiple issues because there's three male generations of this family that all have the same name. Not the arsehole.

[02:22:16] [SPEAKER_00] Ms. Vindy says, not the arsehole. You and your husband have picked a name you like for your child. Key words here. And that should be that. It's not wrong to break tradition, especially ones like this, so please don't feel guilty or bad, OP. Mother-in-law needs to let it go, but it's probably going to be a while before she does, if she ever does. So you should probably make sure that your husband is also willing to die on this hill with you and have your back. Also, be prepared for mother-in-law to call your son Henry anyways, especially if you ever

[02:22:46] [SPEAKER_00] have a babysit. These kind of dilemmas usually don't just end with the flying monkeys. And one more comment from what did that girl say who says not the arsehole. I underwrite mortgage loans and can't tell you how you saved your son from the intermingling of credit, potentially bad credit, from family members with the same name. This is a ridiculous tradition and your mother-in-law has shown you who she really is. Believe and block her and anyone else who feels they have the right to override your decisions as parents. Kudos to your husband for standing up to them.

[02:23:16] [SPEAKER_00] But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Have you been named after a family member yourself? Let us know how that goes. And let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit again from 08 Extra 25. It says, Am I the Arsehole for refusing and ungrateful to take a 1000 plus gift from my partner because I like cooking?

[02:23:45] [SPEAKER_00] About two weeks ago, my partner told me he was hosting a salad master party at our home. Salad Master is a cookware brand that claims to cook food without added water for healthier eating. He asked if I wanted the cookware. But after a quick Google search, I found it gimmicky and said no, explaining why. I thought that was the end of it. Let me just have a quick Google here. Ooh, that Trust Pilot review is interesting. A week later, while the party was happening, I went out to meet friends.

[02:24:15] [SPEAKER_00] Before I left, I met the salesperson who tried to pitch the pens by saying I'd taste the difference. I smiled politely and left. While cooking at my friend's place, because I love cooking, I got a text from my partner asking if I wanted to buy a pan or pot. Annoyed, I compromised and agreed to a saucepan since I didn't have one. Then 20 minutes later, he texted me saying he'd bought the entire set for over a thousand dollars. I was frustrated because I had said no, then adjusted to

[02:24:44] [SPEAKER_00] let him get a single pan, and he still bought everything. When I got home, he told me how good the food was, which was fine, but then he brought up the baking soda test. The salesperson boiled water in my stainless steel pan, added baking soda, then did the same with the salad master pan. They made the guests taste both, claiming my pan made the water taste metallic, while salad masters did not. My partner then tried to convince me my pan was bad. I found it odd and told him it was

[02:25:14] [SPEAKER_00] hard to believe that my lucro set stainless steel pan would do that. He got upset, saying, I'm lying. That angered me because I wasn't calling him a liar, I was questioning the test. Later, I researched and found that scratched stainless steel can react with alkaline substances like baking soda, making the water taste metallic. The more I read, the more suspicious the whole thing seemed. The next day, he gave me a salad master booklet as a gift

[02:25:44] [SPEAKER_00] and suggested I replace my pans. That made me angry. I told him no and tried to explain why, but he dismissed me. Pretending to listen while doing other things, saying I'm ungrateful and he has a history of buying me things after I explicitly say no and getting upset and calling me ungrateful when I don't accept them. To avoid a fight, I've been sleeping in a separate room, but now I'm livid because I just found out he's hosting another salad master party. I'm up my wits end,

[02:26:13] [SPEAKER_00] so tell me, am I the asshole for refusing a gift that my partner bought me? Salesman? Salad master party? Getting those MLM vibes, I gotta tell you. But I am said salad master is a multi-level marketing scheme. That's why he's upset that you won't buy. He's setting himself up to be a seller and he needs a downline. Leave before he loses all of his money. Only a small percentage of the sellers ever make money off of MLM schemes. It is a typical money pit. He will invest

[02:26:43] [SPEAKER_00] thousands of dollars in goods just to sell to other people. But if no one bites, he loses all of the money. There are no sellbacks. Share this in just no MLM. You'll probably get some good advice and more information about this particular scam. Glum says, I'd make sure he doesn't toss your lacroset as well. Apologies about the pronunciation, especially since he thinks it's crap and clearly doesn't know good cookware. I once had a boyfriend who put my favorite cast iron in the dishwasher and claimed it was cheap because it is rusted.

[02:27:13] [SPEAKER_00] Also, is this the kind of nonsense you want to live with forever? I just blew a thousand dollars on crap you specifically said you didn't want. That's a lot of money. I'd be pissed off if my partner disregarded my wishes as the partner who does most of the cooking and bought that junk. And one more comment from Fairy Competent who says not the asshole. He didn't buy you a gift. He got snookered and is trying to spin it is a positive thing. Your boyfriend is dumb as a bag of hair. I hope you know that.

[02:27:42] [SPEAKER_00] He is the MLM's dream. A sucker with disposable income and an ego too fragile to admit a mistake. I would not be able to be attracted to a person like this. But good luck to you if you still are. And now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? I can't see it going any other way really but let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And this next story comes from a throwaway account and it says am I the asshole for wanting to break up with my

[02:28:11] [SPEAKER_00] girlfriend because I was a dare date. Never thought I'd have to use this old account but I'm really stuck and need some advice before I potentially nuke what has been so far a good 8 month relationship. So for a quick background my girlfriend 24 female and I 27 male have been dating for around 8 months now. I first met her at a funeral of all places. I wasn't close to the deceased. They were a friend's uncle.

[02:28:40] [SPEAKER_00] I just went along to keep him company. In any case I wasn't particularly sad looking. I was talking with a family friend and smiling which she noticed and made a pretty morbid joke asking if I put him in the casket. It was so blunt I just sort of snort laughed and we got chatting all afternoon ended up with our number in my phone by the end of it. She was funny, witty, pretty and genuinely a fun girl to be around. So of course I took a chance and asked her out which she

[02:29:10] [SPEAKER_00] accepted rather eagerly. My ego was through the roof after that. Little did I know, I came home a little earlier from work last night. I was covering a shift and the bloke I was covering came in anyway so they didn't need me for 8 hours. Anyway, I came home earlier than planned and overheard my girlfriend laughing with someone on her phone. I was about to surprise her with a little jump scare when she said and I quote, I never meant for this whole thing with BF to last so long.

[02:29:40] [SPEAKER_00] I'd never normally date someone like him. She spotted me shortly after saying that. I admit, I made a noise. I can't even begin to explain and she heard me. I'd never seen someone go that pale before. She was all wide, teary-eyed and quivering lips. Girlfriend then spent the next hour or so confessing that she never planned to date me. But once her friends found out she'd give me a number. They found a pic of me online and apparently found me so hilariously unattractive that girlfriend just had to

[02:30:09] [SPEAKER_00] fake date me for a week to give me hope. I wish I was joking. Her friends and apparently girlfriend were all stuck in their mean girl high school face. Girlfriend agreed but I guess apparently forgot about it because we've been dating for eight months, not one week. She told me that she was stupid for agreeing with it and that I was a really good bloke and that she really did love me but she never expected to actually feel that way about me. Why? Because I'm not her usual type of guy.

[02:30:39] [SPEAKER_00] When I asked her to elaborate, she mumbled that she didn't initially find me attractive at all but after dating for a few weeks she stopped caring about my looks. I admit I sort of lost my temper here and called it an immature waste of my time. I told her I wish she'd just dumped me a week into dating because to find all this shit out eight months in when I cared about her, loved her was fucking foul. I'm staying with my mum at the moment because I need space to think and vent. Would I be the

[02:31:08] [SPEAKER_00] arsehole if I dumped girlfriend for this? Edit. Wow. Okay. I did not expect this much feedback. Blimey. Blimey. So I've turned my phone back on and it's a mess of texts, voicemails and missed calls. I've only listened to a couple but she's absolutely sobbing her heart out and pleading for me to come home so she can explain. Nothing from her friends mind you. Just her. Says it all really. No idea what to do but now I feel like rubbish.

[02:31:38] [SPEAKER_00] Bloke? Blimey? Rubbish? We've got a Brit here folks. We've seen stories in the past where people have dated people they usually wouldn't date and then feelings developed etc etc but there's a massive difference between not my usual type but I fell for him anyway and dated him as a joke because my friends thought he was ugly and personally I wouldn't be able to look past that and you know this is just from my perspective once you know that trust is gone and that was the very

[02:32:08] [SPEAKER_00] start of your relationship that trust is gone. How do you move forward with that? Gangbang says is she still friends with all those mean girls? Opie says given that she was chatting to one of them yesterday? Yeah I think so. Lorena's Fury says sounds like the conversation was about teasing her for still being with you. You're completely justified in feeling that way that you do. Odd Welcome says this is a huge and valid point. It isn't like this is just a thing they all realized was foolish and now a void. If by any miracle Opie

[02:32:37] [SPEAKER_00] stays every single friend must go. She can be who she is with Opie or who she is with them. She can no longer be both because they are in absolute opposition. Your Yogurt says not the asshole. Even if you didn't care about the joke part of it. She didn't go out with you because she wanted to but she was pushed by her friends. And then what? Did she give a play by play after your first date to said friends? Did she share your intimate moments with the friends? Was your first kiss also

[02:33:07] [SPEAKER_00] a joke? Was she hesitating to kiss you because of the joke? Did she even want to kiss you? It's thoughts like that that would drive me nuts because at what point did her joke turn into real affection? Or was she cringing and flinching for those first few dates? How can you be with someone who thought you were gross or how long? Weeks? Days? Not the asshole. Opie says that's the same shit on my mind. I mean she didn't act strange or hesitant when we started dating.

[02:33:36] [SPEAKER_00] She was funny and cute and demanded we hold hands on our second date. But was it all a funny story to tell her friends? Was she laughing at how pathetically happy I was dating someone out of my league? I don't know. It's driving me insane thinking about it. I've already chucked up. I just feel sick and tired and used. Lopsided Sky says given everything you said I can guarantee that woman isn't out of your league. She's very much beneath you. Like she's not even sorry. She just seems to think you can still

[02:34:06] [SPEAKER_00] be grateful she stopped caring how you look. What the fuck? And tries to justify her shitty behavior. Even if you somehow forgave her you'd never be able to forget. Cut your losses. Be careful in the future but don't let it stop you from finding a real relationship with someone who doesn't think hurting people is a joke. Zelf Prince says your first sentence is so important. OP you deserve so much better than someone who will always look down on you for not being what she deems

[02:34:35] [SPEAKER_00] conventionally attractive. You deserve better than someone who thinks you should be grateful that they graced you with their presence. You deserve a partner who values you. So a couple of days after that OP comes in with the update and says first of all thank you to everyone who commented. The good, the bad and the downright bizarre. Now on to the update. So I eventually turned my phone back on after making the original post and was bombarded with voicemails and texts and whatnot. I only listened

[02:35:05] [SPEAKER_00] to a couple and girlfriend was sobbing their heart out on all of them. More or less begging me to come home and let her explain. To be fair I didn't really have much choice but to eventually go back home anyway. It's a house share and I pay rent to live there. Plus my own mum was basically nudging me back out to let girlfriend explain herself. So I went back home the next day and she pretty much tore out her room and threw herself at me. She was sobbing and trying to talk but kept crying too hard between her words to sound coherent.

[02:35:34] [SPEAKER_00] I know I should have probably been angrier but I hate seeing her cry. And she wasn't just crying. She was sobbing so hard she was having trouble breathing at a few points. Eventually I got her to sit down and asked her to explain exactly why I should stay with a woman who not only got with me as a dare but also laughed about it with her vapid friends eight months on. A lot was said and to summarize it so this update doesn't take all night she more or less said this. Fake names for her friends and I'm likely paraphrasing but I spent about

[02:36:04] [SPEAKER_00] 40 minutes trying to remember it exactly so this is the gist of it. She said I didn't mean to ask you out on a dare. I wanted to date you before they even knew about you. I gave you my number first remember. When Stacey and Tina found out I gave you my number they looked you up on Facebook and found it hilarious that you were even trying with me. So they got this stupid fucking dare thing and told me to give all uglies in the world hope. Opie said wow real mature you remember what you said on the

[02:36:34] [SPEAKER_00] phone to whoever it was right that you never meant for us to last this long. You told me I wasn't your type what's your type girlfriend? Not me right? Too ugly for you. She said stop saying that you're not ugly. You're just not the type of bloke I'd have picked to date long term. But I was wrong babe look at us. We've lasted nearly nine months and I love you so much. I really do. How can I prove it to you? How? Opie says I don't know. I love you too but all I can think about is you laughing

[02:37:03] [SPEAKER_00] about me behind my back to them. How can I trust you anymore? She said I wasn't meaningfully laughing at you. I swear I wasn't. I just don't know how to handle Tina any other way. She's always been like this and I just go along with it to keep the peace. Opie said so you'd rather keep the peace than stand up for me. Is that what you're saying? She said you're twisting my words and Opie replied saying no I'm not. God why should I stay with you? Seriously give me a reason. You laughed behind my back. You dated me on a

[02:37:32] [SPEAKER_00] dare given to you by Tina and Stacy right and you're still friends with them. You chose them and their cruelty over us and what we have. She said we've been friends for years though and Opie said I fucking give up. Opie continues at this point it was just back and forth of me trying to walk away and her professing her love and defending her friendship with the wonder twins while trying to make me sit back down. I don't know guys I'm back home. She's constantly trying to have another talk. I'm tired and I don't know what to do.

[02:38:02] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know what to say. Advice would be wonderful because I'm very tempted to just pack it in. Top comment to say add too much pride to stay. Be second guessing everything all the time. How exhausting. Top spite says from what I've read girlfriend failed to resolve the situation. She continues to defend her friends dismissing their behavior by saying it's just the way they are. She remains close with these friends laughs with them at Opie's expense joins in on their jokes about them and allows them to disrespect them

[02:38:31] [SPEAKER_00] without taking any action. Despite all this she chooses to maintain her friendship with them. To me this feels like siding with her friends over a boyfriend. Where has she stood up for him? Where has she defended him? Where has she expressed disagreement with the jokes and the disrespectful comments aimed at him? I just don't see it. Dom says not the arse or Jesus Christ man. She just seems like she regrets being caught in general. I say that you just drop her because this ugly has hope that he will find

[02:39:01] [SPEAKER_00] someone beautiful both inside and out. Or tell her that if she truly wishes to make amends she stops associating with high school mean girls because that constant influence in her life will definitely haunt your relationship going forward. If she says but we've been friends for years say great so do you want years or possibly decades with someone you truly love? Or do you want more years of that horrible influence ruining all your relationships taking advice from children who I definitely will never want to hang out or get along with?

[02:39:30] [SPEAKER_00] If my friends thought you were a complete monster or disgusting to look at and laughed at it on the phone with me behind your back you're really cool with me hanging out with them just because I met them first before you several years ago. Then when she hopefully says no that's when you say exactly so make your choice. If she says yes I'm cool with that then say perfect I'd rather date someone with as much self-respect as I have so enjoy your single friends keeping you single. Bye! And the final commenter says those girls are mean girls and

[02:40:00] [SPEAKER_00] there's a chance your girlfriend is in a controlling friendship with them. If you love her and want to be with her then tell her she needs to let go of these two girls at least for a certain amount of time. If she can't do that then there's no hope because they're going to trash you always. Hell they probably talk shit about your girlfriend as well so this is on her now. It's very possible to not be completely into a person at the start and once you get to know them you see them in a different light. And you know I just couldn't do it.

[02:40:30] [SPEAKER_00] There's no way for me I'd be able to stay in that relationship and just looking back to the very beginning of this. She's 24 years old going on a dare date. I mean what the fuck? But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now we're going into our very own subreddit r slash mark narrations. If you want to share your own stories please feel free to do so. You can set up your own throwaway account really easy.

[02:41:00] [SPEAKER_00] But this story is from Faye Lulls who just says bridesmaid from hell. Hello Mark. Long time fan. I wanted to share a relationship story about one of my former friends and bridesmaids. It's a bit long but I hope you find it interesting. I 27 female married my husband 32 male three months ago. And now that some time has passed I'm ready to reflect on everything that happened including the drama with my former friend Karen 29 female.

[02:41:30] [SPEAKER_00] Backstory. Karen and I were acquaintances in college but we didn't spend much time together back then. We reconnected during the covid pandemic and maintained a long distance friendship through calls and texts. When I got engaged in 2023 she pressured me into making her a bridesmaid. Looking back I hadn't planned on asking her but at the time I figured why not. She seemed eager to support me. Bachelorette party issues. We planned my bachelorette party for

[02:41:59] [SPEAKER_00] summer 2024. Around that time Karen had been involved in a workplace situation where she was fired for sexual harassment after pursuing a co-worker. Another crucial detail. Her company had been paying for her master's degree and as a result of her firing they demanded reimbursement for her tuition. She lost her job a week before my bachelorette trip. While I made it clear there was no pressure to attend all the activities. She still came but spent most of the trip in her room.

[02:42:28] [SPEAKER_00] That was fine but she got upset at me and the other bridesmaids for not checking on her more or bringing her food. Oh deary me. At one point I mentioned wanting to visit a local ice cream shop and invited her. She declined but later she was mad that I, the bride, didn't bring her a treat. She also tried to stir up drama by implying that my other bridesmaid, Erin, 25 female, was talking badly about me. Which wasn't true. On top of that she made weird comments about

[02:42:57] [SPEAKER_00] Erin's body even pulling me aside to ask if I would kill to have her body. I shut that down immediately but she continued making similar comments all weekend. By the end of the trip none of my bridesmaids liked Karen. I was uncomfortable with her behavior too but I didn't want to confront her while she was dealing with her job loss. Wedding 1 The Mutual Friend's Wedding That fall a mutual friend was getting married and Karen, my fiancé and I shared an Airbnb to save money.

[02:43:26] [SPEAKER_00] Since my fiancé and I paid two thirds of the cost and provided transportation we assumed we would get the master bedroom. Instead Karen called dibs on the master bedroom without asking us. It was frustrating but we let it go. At the wedding Karen repeatedly intruded on my space with my fiancé. At dinner I reached for his hand and she tried to hold mine instead. I pulled away and she looked hurt but had no idea what she was thinking. During the ceremony I caught her staring at us

[02:43:56] [SPEAKER_00] while I was sharing a moment with my fiancé. Later when I hugged him from behind she joined in on the hug uninvited. Looking back I should have removed her as a bridesmaid then. My fiancé and bridesmaid had all expressed their discomfort with her behavior but with only two months until my wedding I didn't want to create more stress. The Wedding Week Planning a wedding is stressful so please give me grace for my lack of a backbone at this point. By then I had started distancing myself from Karen.

[02:44:26] [SPEAKER_00] She was supposed to stay with us a few days before the wedding and she had offered to create my wedding seating chart. She knew calligraphy and I was thrilled she wanted to help. Of course she didn't. I ended up making the chart myself on Canva. Towards the end she asked to help and spent 30 minutes changing the fonts, posted it on Instagram and took credit for the whole thing. I was floored. The night before the wedding my bridesmaid and I got an Airbnb. Karen didn't pay her share. I never got the money

[02:44:55] [SPEAKER_00] back and yet she claimed the only single bed leaving the others to share. My maids of honor took me to a bar that night and we still had a blast. Karen did not want to come. Wedding Day Disaster On the morning of the wedding everyone was helping with last minute DIY decorations except Karen. She was glued to her phone. I asked her multiple times to help but she just kept walking away. I finally assigned her a simple task, assembling

[02:45:24] [SPEAKER_00] cups, something I had planned for the kids to do. She barely completed a fourth of them before disappearing again. All my bridesmaids knew I needed help and we previously established that, mainly putting up linens and the centerpieces, lighting candles, assembling cups, etc. Erin saw my frustration and confronted Karen who immediately started crying, insisting she wasn't being helpful and that Erin was being unfair. I stepped in and told her that her actions were hurting me.

[02:45:53] [SPEAKER_00] Instead of helping, she sulked in the bridesmaid suite the rest of the time where I was getting ready and it was clear she was talking badly about us. In several wedding photos, we had to photoshop her out because while everyone else looked happy, she was giving us death stares. Despite all of this, my wedding was beautiful. I was so happy to be marrying my best friend. Nothing could ruin that. The final straw. After the ceremony and dinner, I took a quick break to check on my

[02:46:22] [SPEAKER_00] dogs, our ring bearers. Karen followed me and brought up our earlier confrontation. I apologized for calling her out in front of others and she smugly said, I knew you'd come to your senses. Thank you for apologizing. That was it. Any lingering respect for our friendship was gone, but I refused to waste another moment on her that day. It was my wedding and I'd be damned if I wasted another moment of that day on her. Going no contact. During our honeymoon, my husband and I talked about

[02:46:52] [SPEAKER_00] Karen. He hated seeing me be someone's doormat. We decided I should go no contact. When we got back, I sent her a message explaining my decision and blocked her. My friends and family fully supported this. It may have been a mini party. Epilogue. Recently, I heard from a mutual friend that Karen's former company is suing her for the unpaid tuition and she's blaming that stress for her wedding behavior. That's it. First time poster, long time lurker.

[02:47:22] [SPEAKER_00] Please be gentle in the comments. Holy moly, dealing with someone like that, Karen is just like one of those typical that we see in these stories, emotional vampires who she always positions herself to be the victim while sabotaging your day. And I know you said yourself about the whole backbone thing and it sounds like you realized it in the end. And whilst I agree that you know, people like Karen do need to be dealt with a lot sterner and I know myself it can be difficult to do stuff like that, you know. But I just, I find it really sad at the same

[02:47:52] [SPEAKER_00] time when you seem like an incredibly kind person and you know, you're having it weaponized against you by some arsehole. If you're anything like me, you think like, oh, maybe you know, she is just going for a tough time. So I know how difficult it can be and you know, people like Karen know exactly how to push the guilt buttons and on kind hearted people. They know how to manipulate. And in the end, I think you gave yourself an amazing wedding gift, permission to cut that toxic arse all loose. And I think the celebration at the end that you, your

[02:48:21] [SPEAKER_00] friends and family had after you blocked her, it sort of said everything that it was obvious to them what her behavior was like. But after this, just good on you for standing up in the end and blocking her because it needed to be done. I know it can be incredibly difficult. Again, I know you get a lot of people in these stories who say, oh, doormat, etc, etc. But, you know, I think it's incredibly difficult at the same time. I know a lot of people go, no, it's not difficult, but I think it is. I think many people will find it difficult as well. So instead of the doormat, I'm just

[02:48:51] [SPEAKER_00] going to say well done to you, AP. But what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And don't forget, if you have your own story to share, r slash mark narrations, why the hell not, right? Just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.