A Friend MOCKED MY GRIEF And Told Me That I Should Just Man Up

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Paul Bettini from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit. And it says, Am I the Arsehole for not bringing up my dead brother and humiliating an acquaintance?

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] And there's some trigger warnings on this one of PTSD, dealing with the loss of a loved one, bullying and suicide within the story as well. So please, if you do want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description along the timeline below. And let's crack on with it. First time poster, go easy on me for the format.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00] I 17 male used to be super close to my twin brother. We grew up together and the thing we both loved was Marvel. The comics, the movies, we were complete nerds. We went to watch Avengers Endgame on opening night. Well, he passed away in our shared bedroom with WandaVision playing on our TV. And that not only traumatized me as I was the one who found him, but it permanently ruined anything superhero related for me.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00] For clarification, I've been to therapy since it happened. Well, my friend group met up at Golden Corral and they were really planning a watch party for when the last episode of She-Hulk streamed. And I said I wasn't going to make it. Everyone understood, but a friend of a friend who I kinda know rolled his eyes and loudly said, You never hang out with us when we watch Marvel shit. That's like our thing. Why are you even in our nerd friend group if you don't want to do the one thing the rest of us do?

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00] Like, I know you have a bad experience with it, but man up. It couldn't be that bad. What, someone dressed up as Thanos? Run over your puppy or something? The whole group went quiet and I slumped down and said, I just don't feel like it. And tried not to cry. I could tell everyone was cold towards the dude and he, 19 male, just laughed and said, What? I just said what we were all thinking. OP needs to get over himself and be more sociable.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00] I excused myself visibly bawling at this point. And I went home and just cried for a while. Well, I got a friend request from him this morning on Snapchat and when I friended him, he instantly tore into me, saying he was being shunned by most of our friends who tore him a new one and told him how my brother died. And he's upset with me that I didn't tell him earlier and that I made him look like a dick by being an oversensitive girl and crying in public. He said he would never have brought it up if he had known.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00] But I said I wasn't close enough to tell him something that personal. And he just told me to get over myself. And he's left me on red since. Honestly, I've been trying to avoid thinking about the circumstances surrounding my brother's death. And this is dredging up a lot of memories. And right now, I feel just like how I did when I discovered my brother in our bedroom almost two years ago. Scared, angry at myself for not being there and alone. On one hand, I don't know this dude enough to tell him about that incident.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00] But at the same time, I could have told him then and there when he started on this tirade. And he would have apologized and we would be done with it. Am I the arsehole for making him look like a dick? Now let's start off by saying you didn't make him look like a dick. He did that by himself. You didn't have to tell him about your personal trauma. And the fact that everyone else understood and respected the boundary shows this was never actually a problem until this guy decided to make it one.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00] And then after he learned the truth. I mean, I'd be totally done with this guy anyway for the way he acted originally because he's just a total knobhead. But even then, when he found out there was this tiny glimpse that he, you know, had the chance to just turn around and say, I'm so sorry, mate. I really fucked up there. I'm incredibly sorry. How can I make it up to you? Something along those lines. Instead, he doubles down and has another pop at you. Block that arsehole and move on.

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_00] But Heji says, not the arsehole. That friend of a friend is completely out of line. And to chew on you for making him look like a dick? Please, he did that all on his own. I'm so very sorry that you're having to experience this loss. I don't know what else to say other than to offer my sincere condolences. Xander the sheepdog says, not the arsehole. Send a screenshot of his Snapchat berating you and blaming you for not wanting to share personal information.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00] Turbulent reply saying, absolutely this. The fact that this guy didn't immediately feel horrified at his unknowingly insensitive remarks to you and contact you to apologize. Instead of using this information to fuel his rage and continue digging in, he is vile. I would want to warn my group of friends. I would want to be honest and say to them all that you are reticent to attend further social gatherings because of this man. Particularly as he is escalating his nastiness. Include screenshots.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00] But that you didn't want them to think they had done anything wrong. And sit back and watch him seal his well-deserved ostracism. Not the arsehole. Huge industry says not the arsehole. You politely tried to excuse yourself and this guy was a real jerk about it all. Your other friends obviously understood and supported you. As people endlessly remind us, no is a complete sentence. On another note, Marvel characters are something you and your brother treasured.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00] It is unfortunate you found your brother with WandaVision on the TV. I hope someday you can go back to the Marvel universes. It is something you shared with your brother and you both enjoyed it. Maybe someday you can view Marvel and also see it as a way to cherish your brother. Have you considered therapy? I hope he says, I've gone to therapy. And because of the nature of which I found my brother, the mess that was made in that room, essentially making that room permanently unusable. It deeply traumatized me.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00] When I start to watch Marvel productions, the movies specifically, I'm overwhelmed with sadness. And if I continue watching it, it takes me back to that moment. My therapist said that until we make a breakthrough with my PTSD, because of how widely enjoyed and just how engraved that series of movies and shows are into society as a whole, whenever I'm able to avoid it, I should. But we did say that after we're able to work through my PTSD, I can go back to watching that genre.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00] Although because of what happened, I don't think I'm going to want to do that. Even after I get better. Edit, NSFW for anyone triggered by death caused by oneself. And spoiler in case I or anyone else spoil anything Marvel related in the comments. Edit, you all have told me to screenshot it and send it to my other friend group. I'm absolutely going to. I was going to block him and leave it alone, but he literally just sent me a text that said, Your brother would be ashamed if he saw how soft and delusional you are.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_00] It's a fucking show. Get over it. Your friends don't appreciate how you're always making excuses not to hang out with them. And you're making me feel unwanted in the group. Grow the fuck up. And come to Brandon's house at 12:30 on Saturday so we can have a She Hulkathon. There's food. Relax and grow up. My God. This fucker literally did not just. I'm actually angry now. And edits. Holy shit. He found this post. Things are going to get interesting.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00] And Opie adds one more final edit slash update and says, The moment you've all been waiting for. Have news and boy, it is juicy. I took a screenshot of his message and other harassing messages. And threatened to send them to the other friend group if he didn't get off my back. And treat me like a human being. And he told me he saw my post and said that I painted him in a bad light. And made people hate him. Basically cussing me out for making him look worse than he already looked.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00] Well, I wasn't really going to send those screenshots to our group chat. But that moron told on himself by complaining to our other friends that I posted this. Expecting them all to be on his side for me trying to ostracize him from his friends. And they subsequently found this post. And when I say they all read the whole post, I fucking mean it. Then they started asking him if he really had the fucking audacity to send me a message saying, My dead twin brother is ashamed of me. And he denied it and said that I was trying to make him look bad.

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00] But as soon as he tried to lie, I sent the screenshot. No message, just the screenshot of the group chat. They were pissed and he said I photoshopped it and was lying about him. But every time he told another lie, I sent another screenshot from our chat. Basically just him verbally demeaning me over the internet. Let me say, by the end of it, he was trying to defend himself. And everyone was just leaving him on read. After a few minutes of his last text, our group kind of leader, Brandon,

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00] just sent him a message asking him to meet up at a restaurant. Brandon and I have the strongest connection. We're kind of dating but not officially. So he's really protective over me. Long story short, Brandon didn't scream or yell. But in no uncertain terms did he say that if that guy ever came around me or Brandon, that included his house for the She-Hulkathon, he was going to be in big trouble. And everyone seconded that. Even the guy that introduced him to our friend group.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_00] He pleaded and said he'd apologize, but everyone basically told him we're done with this shit and to fuck off. The She-Hulkathon was cancelled and instead we're going to have an NCIS-a-thon. As it's my favorite show and my friends said they wanted me included. I truly have the best friend group. And that demeaning, insulting piece of shit is facing the consequences of his actions. Y'all's advice was top tier. Thank you. Have a good night, day. Hello Redditors.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_00] Man, I can't imagine the kind of trauma that he's going through. Something that's going to affect you permanently. And that he can't watch Marvel anymore. Something that he used to watch with his twin is sad. And I hope one day, like the commenter said, that he is able to come back to it and see in a way that's healing for him. But to have this dickhead not only mock him, but double down on it and then trying to weaponize it against him. That's crazy ass behavior.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00] And I'm so glad that the friend group stuck by OP in this, understood what was going on. And they didn't just defend him. They uninvited the bully and changed the entire watch party for OP's comfort. And they're the people that's going to help OP heal from trauma by creating those safe spaces around him while he works through it at his own pace. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from OtherSuggestion1609 from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit. And it says, AmITheArseholeHere for questioning my engagement after my fiance got mad at me for drinking while pregnant. Sorry if this is long. I just need opinions. And I can't tell if I'm being dramatic about this. Okay, so I, 22 female,

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_00] recently got engaged to my fiance, 23 male. We are both still living at home to save money to eventually get our own place. I still live with my parents, but I stay at his place most nights because it's closer to work and just easier. So this New Year's Eve, we were at his parents' house with family and a few friends. Nothing crazy, just a normal family get-together. His aunt was passing out champagne to everyone and asked me if I wanted some. But before I could even respond,

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00] my fiance reached out and took the glass. I kind of thought it was weird, but I just ignored it because he can be oblivious sometimes. I ended up just going to the kitchen and pouring myself a drink. When I got back to the living room, he immediately noticed my drink and asked pretty loudly, is that alcohol? I said yes. And he started getting really upset. He said he couldn't believe I would do that, that he thought I was more responsible and I was being reckless.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00] I was obviously confused and asked him what he's talking about. He said something like, you're really gonna mess things up before they even start. You're going to hurt the baby. The room went quiet and I was so embarrassed. I was thinking he must be drunk or something. I asked him, what baby? He said he knew I was pregnant and that I had been trying to do the right thing. He said he found a pregnancy test in the bathroom weeks ago and that's why he's been watching what I eat and drink and why he proposed.

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00] He said he was stepping up. Then he said he didn't know if I had made a mistake, if this was the kind of mother I was going to be. I was literally so shocked and humiliated. I told him I'm not pregnant, but he just told me I don't need to lie. I'm not pregnant. I ended up leaving and coming to my parents' house that night. I haven't been to his place since. He keeps trying to reach out to me to talk about it, but I'm not ready. That brings us to last night.

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_00] My fiance's mom messaged me and asked me to come over and talk. She says relationships take effort and I shouldn't ruin my relationship over a little misunderstanding. I don't know what to do. I love my fiance but I can't stop thinking, if he never thought I was pregnant, would he even have proposed to me? I'm really thinking the whole relationship. Am I the arsehole here? The top commenter on this one said, pick a question.

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00] Who in your house is pregnant? Because obviously he's not ready for marriage or kids. If he's going to find something like that and not have an actual conversation with you. As such, you don't need to be with him. Ryan says, probably a COVID test. LA reply said, that would be hilarious. And there was just one comment, a longer comment, but it was a good one from Lost Babe who says, not the arsehole, do not marry this man. Think about this. He knows you live in a house with other people

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00] and at least one of them is also a woman. Yet he automatically assumes that something he found in a shared home trash can belongs to you. He does zero due diligence, just assumes and creates a whole story in his head about you being pregnant. Because of this, without even trying to have a single conversation with you about it, he unilaterally decides what he thinks is right for the both of you. And he's going to try and step up by silently and sneakily controlling what you eat and drink. Then to top it off, he proposed to you.

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_00] Not because he wants to, but because he essentially feels forced to. Again, rather than trying to have a singular private conversation with you. The supposed soon to be mother of his child and future wife. Instead decides to out, shame and embarrass you in front of his family and friends and admits in front of all of them that he is only marrying you at a perceived obligation to step up. Then instead of actually listening to you, he doubles down when you tell him you aren't pregnant and sends his mummy after you

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_00] when you don't come groveling back and ask him for forgiveness. He knows he fucked up big time, but rather than be a man and own that giant fuck up and the likely irreversible damage it caused your relationship, he is choosing to try and guilt you into going back to him and using his family to do it. Do not fall for this. The fact that his mummy is even intervening at all says so much about what your future will look like if you marry into that family. Every time you and him have a slight, she'll be there to defend her baby.

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_00] I know that it doesn't look like it now. We have been given such a beautiful gift with this situation playing out as it did OP. Your fiance and his family have given you a sneak preview of exactly who they are and what you'll be marrying into before any legal documents have been signed. So many people only get to see this side of their spouse and their spouse's family once the paperwork has been signed and once there are children on the way. Basically, once they think they have you trapped.

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00] Get out now before it becomes much harder and much more expensive to do so because this behavior will not get better with time. So OP comes back into the post again and says so a bunch of comments are asking about the pregnancy test my fiance found. I don't know why I didn't even question that when he said it. I think I was just in shock. I've never taken a pregnancy test at his house so I don't know if he saw something and thought it was a test or if he's being crazy and making it up. I just messaged his mum back

[00:16:42] [SPEAKER_00] and I'm going over there to talk and figure out what I want to do. I do really like his family and I still love my fiance or boyfriend. I don't know what to call him now. He's never really done things to make me worry before so I want to at least listen before I throw everything away. So a couple of days later there was another update and said yesterday I went over to my boyfriend's house and it did not go as expected. I honestly don't even know what I was expecting

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_00] but after reading some of your comments about whose test it was or even if it was a pregnancy test I had to find out. My boyfriend was really happy to see me when I got there. I don't think his mum told him I was coming. He seemed really genuine and kept apologizing. His mum asked us to sit down and she started crying and saying she doesn't want to ruin our relationship and she loves both of us and wants the best for us. Then she shows us a sonogram. It was his mum's test.

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_00] Literally all of this stupid drama because my boyfriend is an idiot. He said he didn't think his mum could get pregnant anymore because she's in her 40s so the only other possibility was for it to be mine. But he didn't want to ask me so I could tell him myself. I love surprising people so honestly that does make sense. But like it had been weeks he could have said something after all that time. His mum said she didn't say anything at the party because she didn't know what she was going to do yet and didn't want everyone at the party finding out.

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_00] But it still bothers me that she let me take the embarrassment instead. Or at least tell us after in private instead of letting us not talk for over a week. I do kind of feel bad now that my boyfriend really thought I was pregnant and thought I wasn't taking it seriously. I talked to him about the engagement and if he meant what he said about stepping up. He said he had already had the ring for a while but was waiting for the right time and when he saw the rest he thought of it as a sign and got excited thinking of us as a little family.

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_00] He says he only said what he said at the party in the heat of the moment thinking I was someone who would risk our baby like that and he didn't actually mean it. Oh I think I believe him. As of now we aren't engaged anymore but we're still together. I told him we really need to work harder on communication if we want to make our relationship last. A lot of commenters were saying that he's a red flag and stuff and I can see where you're coming from but this was really like the only time he's been like that. I think his intentions were sweet

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00] but came off wrong. Also a lot of people saying we are too young to get married but my parents got married young and are still together so I think it depends. If we do get engaged again I told him to actually wait until he's ready and not when he thinks he needs to. And there was just a whole bunch of comments after this one just telling OP to run away from this relationship and the family at the same time but OP did come in with a few comments a few replies to people they were mostly downvoted

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_00] but the first one says I've been with him since I was 19 and this is really the only problem we've had other than small random dumb things. I don't want to throw everything away over this and yeah we're still young and have learning to do together. Another comment says we've been together since I was 19 though. I feel like he had so much time to have shown me true colors. I feel a bit sad for him in a way because his dad wasn't much in his life so I think he thought I was pregnant and he really wanted to do the right thing. OP also says

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00] but then how do people that cheat and stuff lie when they say they only love their partner? Another comment from OP says we're going to get an apartment together. I don't think we'll get engaged anytime soon. I want to make sure we can live together first now especially after reading all the comments I'm getting. I think I always forget how young we still are because I went straight to working after high school and didn't do uni. We've also been together since I was 19. So let's just recap for a second here.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00] This lad thought his mom's pregnancy test was his girlfriend proposed because he felt obligated rather than he was ready then publicly, publicly in front of his family shamed her at a party of having a drink while air quotes pregnant and now she's taking him back because his intentions were sweet. Come on, please. And you know, there's a chance it may all work out in the end but it just doesn't feel like it. It feels like, you know, he's got the ring now.

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_00] He's just going to propose down in a couple of months again and something else is going to go on. The only light at the end of this story is that boyfriend was holding a stick his mum pissed on but what do you guys make of this situation? Oof. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story is going to come from our very own subreddit r slash mark narrations. A bit of a neighbor drama going on over here

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_00] from Mother Duck 5 who says the ballad of Wacky Wanda. Greetings Mark and my fellow wafflers. This is about my crazy neighbor who we shall call Wacky Wanda or WW to shorten it. I was a 50 something year old woman when this all started. Around 2015, my family and I moved into a mobile home on a small plot of land in Florida. Our realtor had really talked up our new neighbors. The husband was a true southern gentleman

[00:22:01] [SPEAKER_00] but the wife, well, she was Satan's long lost twin. Wacky Wanda was a nightmare straight out of the gate informing me that her property was four foot past the fence and I was to stay away from her property. One afternoon I was washing my dishes, my water was reduced to a trickle. Mental checklist, bill was paid, checked with others on the street and it was just me. Wacky Wanda's adult son asked me what was wrong and then came over with the exact tool

[00:22:30] [SPEAKER_00] to turn my water back on. It just so happened to be sitting by the front door. Wacky Wanda was persistent. Every couple of weeks I had to turn our water back on until one day I caught her in the act. Remember the four feet of property she claimed? Poor Wacky Wanda's husband warned me after. She had sprayed all my newly planted flowers with Roundup. That's a weed killer in case you're unfamiliar. She even came up and hosed down plants that were beyond the four foot

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_00] and some at the very front of my house. There was nothing to hear her screaming at her husband and she would rail at me to stop trying to seduce her husband. That poor man was 80 years old and in failing health. I offered to mow their yard since his health was bad. I had trash thrown in my yard in response. One night I noticed emergency vehicles in front of their house. She was being carried out on a gurney while yelling at the EMTs.

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_00] The next six months were fairly quiet while she would come home from the hospital with a boot on her foot only to have the EMS show up a few days later to take her back. One of the men that was close to her hubby explained she had been mad at him and went to kick him and hit a table leg instead. God does have a sense of humor. About a month later she lost it completely. She threw that same boot at her husband, jumped in their van, drove it around the block and pulled into the driveway with screaming tires

[00:23:54] [SPEAKER_00] and a cloud of dust stopping just inches from her stunned spouse. I had just gotten home with my kids and in reflex I grabbed my son and covered his eyes so he wouldn't see what I was sure going to be a bad impact. After that plans were made for them to move. You would think that was the end. But wait, there's more. Poor husband hired a woman to help with packing and cleaning. Wacky Wanda was not impressed. She accused a cleaning woman of trying to seduce her husband and stealing from her.

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_00] The last day she took the boxes her husband had set aside for others and hid some of her stuff in there and then accused both the cleaning lady and I of stealing her things. I definitely felt like she was mentally unstable and her long-suffering husband was, through all this, was battling cancer. There were loads of other things she did but these are the highlights. Angel Maker 9 at the top of this one says, Wow, just wow.

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_00] I can't even imagine dealing with that level of insanity on a daily basis. And that is exactly it, isn't it? Imagine dealing with that kind of shit like Mother Duck has had to. Mentally unstable or not, you're the one who's having to deal with it. And, you know, there is the chance that she's mentally unstable but there's also a chance that she's just an arsehole as well. We had a neighbor, I just call her Betty, who used to absolutely hate us as kids and we had no idea why.

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_00] It may be because we used to play football on the grass area outside her house but she would stare at us out the window, like constantly giving us evils and if we made too much noise, kicked the ball too hard, she'd be screaming at us at the top of her lungs that were little shits and all kind of stuff which would then create like a chain reaction because like all the flats were facing each other. You get people hanging out a window, Don't shout at my kid like that! And then another one would start and then there's arguing across the windows where we're all just playing football in the middle, you know?

[00:25:46] [SPEAKER_00] I remember one time, the older of us, we call him Kevin, we were around 10 at the time, he was around 13 or 14, somewhere like that. He was a bit older than us, acted a bit older than us. She was out the window shouting at us as usual and he turned around and said, Shut up, you miserable old bastard! And suddenly she got like, she took a slipper off and threw it down at him. Missed of course, he just picked up the slipper and went and chucked it in the river. She was absolutely raging. But now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys.

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_00] Have you had your own wacky wonders before where you live? Let us know over on r slash mark narrations. Maybe we can get another little nightmare neighbours video going at some point in the future. You know those ones tickle me. And just a huge thank you for being here again today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. I got a notification from YouTube yesterday. Seven years we've been doing videos for and you guys have been involved and I can't believe it. Where did that happen?

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_00] What? Where did that time go? As always, a huge thank you for being here, for being supportive, not just towards me, but towards each other down in the comments. You guys have created a community of wonderful, lovely people willing to support each other. And I'm incredibly thankful, incredibly blessed for that as well. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'm gonna see you in the next one. Take care and much love.