20 Years Later I Told My Ex's Wife That He Cheated On Me r/Relationships

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[00:00:23] Hey, what for getting I do hope you're well.

[00:00:32] My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love

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[00:00:42] Let's crack on with today's first story shall we?

[00:00:45] Much love guys!

[00:00:46] Now today's first story comes from Crazy Mastiffed from the Today I Messed Up subreddits

[00:00:52] and says Today I effed up telling my ex's wife that he cheated on me 20 years later.

[00:01:02] I was going to post this on Am I the Arsehole but I really don't think I am and even if

[00:01:06] I was I don't care.

[00:01:07] For a strange twist of fate I was at a wedding this weekend with my ex boyfriend Buzz and

[00:01:15] his wife Polly, a context we dated 20 years ago.

[00:01:20] I was 21 when we broke up and he was 26.

[00:01:23] We dated for 2 years.

[00:01:25] I was very close to his family during this time but after the very sudden break up left

[00:01:30] without an explanation.

[00:01:33] This was before the era of social media.

[00:01:35] Hell, I think I might have had a Nokia I occasionally use when I remembered to buy

[00:01:40] Minutes.

[00:01:41] So we couldn't instantly get in touch with people nor did we know what the

[00:01:45] fuck was going on in everyone's lives.

[00:01:48] At the wedding I see him and his entire family.

[00:01:51] I didn't realise that my friend was marrying into the family.

[00:01:54] Different names and really didn't talk to the groom much.

[00:01:57] There was a shock to everyone.

[00:02:00] I expected awkwardness at the reception but his family was being cool to me which

[00:02:04] was strange but whatever.

[00:02:06] I'm not one to force myself onto someone if I'm not wanted.

[00:02:10] Important for later.

[00:02:12] Eventually Polly is trashed and pulls me aside.

[00:02:16] She wants to thank me for leaving Buzz alone after our break up.

[00:02:20] I'm thrown by the strange comment but drunk people say strange things.

[00:02:25] I say yeah no problem.

[00:02:27] She continues to say he was heartbroken when you cheated but I convinced him you were

[00:02:32] just a whore and to get over you.

[00:02:34] I laughed and said what are you talking about?

[00:02:37] He cheated on me because I chose studying for a final instead of going out and getting

[00:02:43] drunk.

[00:02:44] I left the reception without another word to anyone on his side of the family.

[00:02:48] I went over and kissed my friend goodbye citing a migraine which I am prone to get.

[00:02:53] No drama.

[00:02:54] Now family members who got myself from our mutual friend or family on Facebook are

[00:02:59] messaging me like crazy.

[00:03:01] Rewind 20 years ago.

[00:03:04] Wen learned about the cheating the very next day from his BFF who hated me.

[00:03:08] I called Buzz for the truth and he said, I'm coming home now we're talking a

[00:03:12] few don't do anything stupid.

[00:03:14] That told me all I needed to know.

[00:03:17] So I got my few items I kept at his place and left before he got there.

[00:03:21] Like I said earlier, I'm not going to force myself if I'm not wanted.

[00:03:26] Buzz didn't want me otherwise he wouldn't have done that so why bother with waiting

[00:03:30] for the fucking excuses?

[00:03:31] A month later I refused to answer calls.

[00:03:35] When he came to my dorm he was immediately denied admission and escorted out.

[00:03:39] As I had put him on a no visitor list he wasn't a student.

[00:03:44] Apparently for these last 20 years his family that loved me told me that I was a

[00:03:48] cheating whore and his BFF who masterminded the whole cheating setup.

[00:03:52] Seconded Buzz's story.

[00:03:54] Now everyone has pissed at him for hurting me and lying to them for 20 years.

[00:03:59] They're trying to get the full story but I just kept saying it's 20 years ago

[00:04:02] it doesn't matter anymore I'm good and Buzz is good.

[00:04:06] Some family has apologized for icing me out at the wedding and spreading the rumors.

[00:04:10] Polly though is freaking out.

[00:04:12] She's convinced that because he cheated on me he'll cheat on her and keeps calling me for more info.

[00:04:17] Our last conversation I said was blocking her and half.

[00:04:21] She tried to call me from an app though a few times but I'm just not picking up numbers

[00:04:26] I don't know at this point.

[00:04:27] OP then adds some edits to the post and says,

[00:04:30] Attempting to recall a conversation I had over 20 years ago where I was shaken

[00:04:34] about to vomit all the while attempting to sound confident.

[00:04:38] It was like me Buzz just tell me the truth did you cheat on me when you went out with BFF?

[00:04:44] He sighed and we all know what that sigh is it's resignation.

[00:04:48] Our last ditch attempt to get your thoughts in order.

[00:04:51] It was the sigh that told me everything I needed to know.

[00:04:54] He said, OP I'm going to leave for work now more talk when I get home don't do

[00:04:59] anything stupid I'll be right there I love you.

[00:05:02] OP continues saying it is possible that Polly is who he cheated on me with.

[00:05:07] I don't know.

[00:05:08] I wish them the best though they've been together for at least 18 years.

[00:05:13] Buzz was not under the impression I ever cheated.

[00:05:16] I'd imagine that Buzz had to tell his family something since I disappeared so suddenly.

[00:05:20] I think he just tried to say face in this BFF was there to back up the lie.

[00:05:24] I do not know the full story of that conversation or who it was told to have no idea what happened to BFF.

[00:05:32] Again over 20 years ago I'm more what the fuck than I am upset.

[00:05:37] I'm sad that his father who I was close to died believing that I did that but other than that I don't really care.

[00:05:44] Edit 2.

[00:05:45] Okay you guys are putting forth some excellent questions that I'm not sure about.

[00:05:50] I unblocked Polly and reached out through text.

[00:05:52] I said I'm sorry for blocking her out but 20 years ago I was broken and it hurts to relive that no matter how healed we are

[00:05:59] I didn't appreciate being cornered at an already horrible awkward situation and called that.

[00:06:04] But I can call her afterward later.

[00:06:07] Edit 3.

[00:06:08] I posted an update in another post because I am a dinosaur and don't know how to make links in Reddit.

[00:06:13] And I didn't know if there's a character limit.

[00:06:15] I am old.

[00:06:16] Raw.

[00:06:19] Yeah and you're absolutely right you wouldn't be the asshole in any way shape or form and you're not wrong in the situation at all.

[00:06:26] You didn't cause the drama.

[00:06:27] She came up to you.

[00:06:28] She approached you and she told you that she'd convinced him that you're a whore and to get over you.

[00:06:33] You just corrected the narrative here.

[00:06:36] And the rest is just not your problem at all.

[00:06:40] It will be interesting if we find out that Polly is the one that you cheated on you with

[00:06:45] and what the outcome of that will be.

[00:06:48] But in the comments Pavlov's dong.

[00:06:51] Ah these names sometimes says man that's a whole lot of not your fucking problem.

[00:06:56] And have no sympathy for Polly.

[00:06:58] Approaching and calling you a whore if there's something you had no part in that happened 20 years prior to his childish behaviour.

[00:07:04] Peak says yeah like even if the cheating part was true.

[00:07:08] We're talking about something like that 20 years later.

[00:07:11] They're about a relationship that happened when they were in their early 20s.

[00:07:14] Weird.

[00:07:15] Amish Sky says for the record not the asshole what a roller coaster.

[00:07:19] They simply do not understand why he had to lie.

[00:07:22] We broke up mutually would have solved the issue.

[00:07:25] What a jackass.

[00:07:27] Hopey says yeah I'd be fine with whatever he told people as long as it wasn't that I was a cheating whore.

[00:07:33] Moonglaid quotes that and says on top of that you had the grace not to speak ill of him for 20 freaking years.

[00:07:39] You're far better than I would have been.

[00:07:41] I would have sung it from the rooftops if people asked.

[00:07:44] Pudos on leaving in the way you did too.

[00:07:46] Brilliant.

[00:07:48] Hopey says it was hard for a 21 year old to not become vindictive.

[00:07:52] But my mother said it would drive him even more insane if I just never responded.

[00:07:57] 20 well 21 if we're being exact years later I had to tell her she was 100% correct.

[00:08:03] I didn't realise how well it would work.

[00:08:06] Amish replies to that and says mum deserves a high five for that.

[00:08:10] Hopey says we had a glass of wine to cheers to our long time game plan success.

[00:08:16] So Hopey updated the post and says so I called Polly a little bit over an hour ago and is very anti-climatic.

[00:08:23] I talked to Polly and she wanted to know the dates that he was still chasing me.

[00:08:26] I told her what I could recall and it seems there was a few months gap between meeting and his last attempt.

[00:08:32] I assured her that I never once in social media became a thing and Buzz tried to reach out to me.

[00:08:38] She said that about six to seven years ago she found out Buzz had tried to find me on Facebook by

[00:08:43] stalking some of my old friend he knew which added to her paranoia.

[00:08:48] He went to marriage counselling and all that.

[00:08:50] Polly was exceptionally talkative.

[00:08:53] Apparently Buzz was a mess, went into deep alcohol and even screwed around with heroin

[00:08:59] introduced to him by none other than BFF who odied a few years later after all this went down.

[00:09:05] Polly hated and was hated by BFF and when he tried to come between Polly and Buzz

[00:09:10] a bit into their relationship Buzz saw BFF was a massive asshole and went no contact.

[00:09:17] She said that she didn't mean to accost me at the wedding but she's always been insecure about me.

[00:09:22] She was drunk and those first years of insecurity all came back to her.

[00:09:26] She said I was prettier than her.

[00:09:28] Poor Pigs had get stashed away or in family photo albums while she always felt deformed

[00:09:34] because of a repaired cleft palate.

[00:09:37] She is very pretty and I reassured her.

[00:09:39] She said that the family was in disbelief over my very sudden abandonment and

[00:09:43] a few times shortly into their relationship his family would slip and call her my name.

[00:09:48] Or she'd hear them reminiscing about a family vacation I was on with them.

[00:09:52] Or how good a few dishes I made were.

[00:09:55] She also said that Buzz did confirm that he cheated followed by a bunch of excuses.

[00:10:00] I said that I really didn't care to hear what he told her.

[00:10:03] I did say that I wish him no ill will and I'm truly glad that he settled down and

[00:10:07] found happiness.

[00:10:08] But I'm done with this.

[00:10:09] I don't want to reconnect with any family members.

[00:10:11] I don't want her calling to commiserate with his wrongdoings.

[00:10:15] I just want to return to our very separate lives.

[00:10:18] She did ask how I found the strength to just leave like that.

[00:10:21] I told her I had an amazing role model.

[00:10:24] Mother, strong support system of family and friends.

[00:10:27] We had no shared resources to divide and I have a low tolerance for bullshit.

[00:10:32] Holly was quiet and said thank you.

[00:10:34] We then hung up.

[00:10:35] Of course now I'm wondering if she's thinking Buzz is cheating on her

[00:10:38] and that's why she asked me about strength.

[00:10:40] I blocked her again so I'll never know.

[00:10:43] I do wish her all the best but I'm going to return to my apathetic life.

[00:10:47] Thank you for your support as well as some of your crazy comments.

[00:10:51] At least they gave me a giggle.

[00:10:53] I hope that every person knows their worth and has strength to do what they know has to be done.

[00:10:59] Now as always I don't know the full ins and outs of these relationships etc etc

[00:11:04] but in the first part I was like yeah you know just to be done with that

[00:11:07] I don't like Polly for the way that she approached you for the name she called you.

[00:11:11] Like some of the comments says it's incredibly immature for her to do that like 20 years later

[00:11:16] but I have to admit in that update I did feel sorry for Polly.

[00:11:20] Maybe it's not deserved after that first post but it was there I felt it

[00:11:25] and the way that OP explained that Polly was quiet and asking about how she had

[00:11:29] the strength to leave it you know it did give me those signs but what do you guys make

[00:11:34] of this situation what do you think is going to happen we may never know but what do you think

[00:11:39] will happen let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

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[00:12:45] I'm gonna check in on a bit of a different subreddit for a bit of neighbor related drama

[00:12:52] from a story account I'm not sure why I get so excited about it but it's from the homeowner's

[00:12:57] subreddit and says new Karen neighbor tried to destroy my water line and says so I got noticed

[00:13:05] in October that my apartment was raising my rent $200 in a single year come December.

[00:13:10] I like renting genuinely hey my water heater is broken come home and it's fixed never had a problem

[00:13:18] at a 20% rise in a rent in one year not doing that the morning I opened up the rent increase

[00:13:24] notice I happened to see a cute manufactured home with a sales sign on my way to work

[00:13:30] I pulled it up on the phone and called a realtor this was Monday she indicated the sellers didn't

[00:13:36] want it shown into Wednesday and we scheduled showing I put in an offer and the next day

[00:13:41] they accepted 10 minutes later yay signed and closed 10 days later it was an incredibly

[00:13:48] easy transaction and process and that made me very happy well on my moving day in early November

[00:13:54] the retiree neighbor on my left comes up to me while I'm helping the movers move my stuff

[00:13:59] and the first words out of her mouth were are you going to do anything about these leaves

[00:14:03] that keep blowing into my yard from yours eventually it came to a head right holder

[00:14:09] I understand that you like to keep your lawn tidy can you at least try to understand that

[00:14:13] I've been working 60 and 70 hour weeks while moving I'm doing my very best the property management

[00:14:20] company that runs the park straight up told me that I was in the clear and not in violation of

[00:14:25] anything I had no contact since with her and she realized I'm not going to capitulate to her

[00:14:31] this most recent Friday when we had frigid temperatures and high winds in the evening

[00:14:36] I flush my toilet and I realize it isn't refilling I test my taps no water it's already too dark so

[00:14:43] I go to the store to get water for me and the cats in the morning once it's light out I put on my

[00:14:48] coveralls and head out into the minus three Fahrenheit minus 22 Fahrenheit windchill and

[00:14:54] investigate the water supply comes out of the ground outside of the trailer skirt and goes

[00:15:00] through the skirt to the supply the previous owners had built a well insulated box around

[00:15:05] the water supply but the access hatch was unlocked and cracked open sigh I called my father and tell

[00:15:11] him I need to borrow his heat gun he officer drive it over but the weather is so bad the wind

[00:15:16] blowing snow I told him even in his truck he'd get stuck so I went trekking over there I'm fuming

[00:15:23] the whole way I could have sworn I latched that door when I was checking my winterizing list

[00:15:28] I could have sworn eventually after 15 minutes of using the heat gun the water started flowing

[00:15:35] I get back inside and get under my blankets to get warm after being in the Arctic conditions for

[00:15:40] nearly two hours at that point I still can't get over it I know I latched that door so on a

[00:15:47] whim I prop my laptop in the window and set it up to video record and went on with my day

[00:15:52] woke up Sunday morning to temperatures of minus seven Fahrenheit minus 33 Fahrenheit windchill

[00:15:58] and got to fill the cat's water bowl no water what the fuck I put on my coveralls and head out

[00:16:05] the access door was cracked open again I get the heat gun out again and get the water going

[00:16:10] again so I checked my laptop and not two hours after I started the laptop recording the

[00:16:15] neighbor Karen comes waddling across her driveway walks to my trailer and leans over

[00:16:19] by the water and messes with the door before waddling back to her trailer I get my coat on

[00:16:25] and walk over there with my laptop when she answers oh hi my name what brings you over today all

[00:16:31] cheery and two-faced I just open my laptop without saying a word in hit play she starts stuttering

[00:16:37] trying to come up with some bullshit I just interrupt her and tell her I'll be forwarding

[00:16:41] it to the office and walked away Monday the office called me and told me they'd be addressing

[00:16:46] the issue and it would be incredibly helpful if there was a police report I gladly called the

[00:16:50] non-emergency line and scheduled a time for the officer to come out after work the cops were

[00:16:56] pulling up just as I was walking home we came in and I detailed everything and showed them the

[00:17:01] video they wanted a copy so I gave it to them they asked me to show them the water line so

[00:17:06] we headed out around there they took some photos while we're out there the whole time we're

[00:17:11] out there Karen was looking out of her kitchen window they see she's home as well and offered to

[00:17:16] trespass her I head back in and they eventually come knocking telling me they spoke to her and

[00:17:21] trespassed her gave me a copy of the police report number and forwarded it to the office

[00:17:27] while we were out there a neighbor across the street were out and asked me if everything

[00:17:31] was okay I said it was that I had video proof of Karen had actually opened my water

[00:17:36] access to freeze my pipes their eyes went wide the cover over the water line was also removed

[00:17:42] broken off and this water line froze two on Friday and the repairs were broken again on Saturday

[00:17:48] turns out Karen has an ongoing beef with them because they have a pride flag they refuse to

[00:17:52] take down so the police went over there to get their statements too Karen's husband came home

[00:17:58] an hour ago came over shortly to ask me to retract my complaint against them with

[00:18:02] the office as a misunderstanding misunderstanding your wife was intending to destroy my water lines

[00:18:09] in the middle of a winter storm which could cost me thousands of dollars to fix he pulls out his

[00:18:14] checkbook so what's this going to cost me well I bought the place for 40 000 so let's call it

[00:18:21] an even 45 000 and I straight up tell the office I fabricated the whole thing he said he was

[00:18:27] serious I said I was too he says they're on the verge of being evicted and kicked off a lot

[00:18:32] and she has problems sounds like the neighbors and I should go in on a bunch of security cameras to

[00:18:37] ensure that happens then so we're see I wasn't going to set up my server but I'm going to be doing

[00:18:44] that tonight with a couple of my webcams on some raspberry pi computers I just can't trust this

[00:18:49] woman or because of some fucking leaves and a gay pride flag and I think op so far has handled

[00:18:58] this pretty well we're going to cover the update in a second by the way I don't think there's much

[00:19:02] else that op could be doing the following the advice that was given to him getting the police

[00:19:07] involved going to the office to try and get stuff done and it seems to be moving in the right

[00:19:12] direction absolutely not taking the money from that guy is the right thing to do you know she

[00:19:18] may have problems she may not I can't really spec it out now I don't really know but whatever

[00:19:22] they are then not your problem either and there's clearly been some other stuff going on to them to

[00:19:28] be in this position as well for him to be coming around trying to offer you money etc etc they're

[00:19:33] clearly on already on warnings but the update says cliff notes grandmother Karen got upset about

[00:19:39] leaves blowing over from my lot onto her lot during my purchasing at the home she deliberately

[00:19:44] tried to freeze my pipes during a snowstorm well it's been interesting I installed four cameras

[00:19:51] one on each corner of my trailer and one in my covered porch I took my other cameras and installed

[00:19:56] them over at the neighbors across the street who had their waterline frozen too most likely by Karen

[00:20:01] as well she watched me install them from her kitchen window and waddled over a little later

[00:20:06] to look at them and flip me off she keeps flipping the cameras off trash day last week she

[00:20:12] cheerfully asked me to help her move her trash cans to the curb when I was walking by with

[00:20:17] my groceries I admit I snorted and was petty I put my groceries down and went to every lot on the

[00:20:23] street and pulled their trash to the curb except hers the nice old lady across the street invited

[00:20:28] me to rummy cub night and rummy cub night nice at first I declined she said they were going to

[00:20:35] dish about Karen I said I already had my shoes off and I was in for the night she said we

[00:20:40] drink wine smoke pot and play rummy cub okay I'll get my shoes these ladies were awesome new friends

[00:20:47] acquired I got all the gossip about Karen and my head was spinning after it all so some highlights

[00:20:53] Karen has four adult children her three daughters haven't spoken to her in more than 12 years

[00:20:59] the last orders to speak to her actually lived on the other side of my place but

[00:21:03] they had a falling out so her daughter sold her home and moved across the town to get away

[00:21:08] from her the son is the only one in the family speaking to her Karen used to be a part of another

[00:21:13] monthly gathering and social of a bunch of retirees in the community but she was kicked out after she

[00:21:18] kept going on tirades about the guy who owned my place before and harassing a gay couple that lived

[00:21:23] on the street the beef she had with a previous owner of my place started over of all things

[00:21:29] yard waste grass clippings to be exact so at least she's reliable I suppose it also explains

[00:21:36] deal with the leaves in response to a bullshit about him leaving grass clippings on the lawn

[00:21:41] he also stopped raking up leaves so that explains that in a way in short she's a toxic as fuck old

[00:21:47] woman who gets off on starting shit with her neighbors and her husband paying people off is

[00:21:52] also apparently a theme as well as he tried to do with me most egregious that made my blood

[00:21:57] boil just hearing it a few years ago she got off on this rant about a young guy in the park

[00:22:02] walking his dog twice every day she kept going on about he better not let that dog shit in my grass

[00:22:08] but one day the dog decided to relieve itself there and as the guy was picking up his dog's waste

[00:22:13] she maced both of them with pepper spray hubby paid the guy off the lady hosting rummy nights

[00:22:19] talks to Karen she says that Karen was bitching about me putting up cameras and how go shit

[00:22:24] makes the neighborhood look after taking a literal bong rip these ladies are fucking awesome

[00:22:30] she says so i say to her Karen honey if you're so worried about what's ghost probably shouldn't

[00:22:36] have tried to freeze his pipes in the middle of the worst winter storm we've had this decade

[00:22:40] and then he wouldn't be installing cameras to protect this property apparently Karen's

[00:22:45] response to that was that I should have taken care of my leaves so Karen hates grass clippings

[00:22:52] leaves gays and lesbians and being a decent human being she'd been taken care of by a husband

[00:22:57] covering up her bullshit and she's just so incredibly toxic that three of her own children

[00:23:02] don't speak to her or let her grandchildren see her as far as the property managers go I was assured

[00:23:08] they're taking this very seriously I cannot disclose what actions they are taking to me

[00:23:13] fortunately Karen can't help herself from gossiping or throwing herself under the bus

[00:23:18] and after another bong rip the rummy host told me that she received a letter from their lawyers

[00:23:22] with a correct or quit notice that any more complaints will result in an eviction

[00:23:26] so yeah I'm looking forward to seeing how long she can last before getting evicted

[00:23:31] not as much as i'm looking forward to hosting these awesome old ladies this Friday

[00:23:35] i'm gonna teach them how to play settlers of katam the commenter says all I can imagine is

[00:23:40] the golden girl sitting around the table playing card gottabin and taking rips of a bong

[00:23:45] in the shape of Bert Reynolds hope he says they're totally my new best friend

[00:23:52] seen to two game nights now they're a riot the bong she had is the shape of a nico cat

[00:23:58] hopefully i pronounced that nico neco cat it's the cats that the good luck like the japanese

[00:24:03] figurines with the arm that waves like that sort of shape capital effect says wow this is the

[00:24:08] update I never knew I needed so bad i'm glad you're not letting this go and I kind of hope

[00:24:13] she's there this fall so you can't want to rake your leaves hope he says we got to

[00:24:18] laughing on rummy night at this fall it would be hysterical to go around collecting all the

[00:24:22] yard waste bags and dump them in my yard if she's still around and whilst I think that would be

[00:24:26] probably funny to do just to see her reaction do you really want to invite any more of that

[00:24:32] extra drama in your life i've seen these kind of stories go absolutely well neighbor drama

[00:24:37] stories like I tell you i'm obsessed with watching like programs like nightmare neighbors in the

[00:24:42] UK and sometimes these get absolutely out of hand like people posting dog shit through letter boxes

[00:24:49] kind of out of hand you have letter boxes in the us and other places I know like I've seen in movies

[00:24:54] you got them like on the end of a stick outside your house you got like your mailbox but you

[00:24:59] have it like a letter box in the uk you might already know this you have to forgive me but

[00:25:03] it's like you post it directly through the door and it's inside your house already

[00:25:07] or does everyone have a mailbox random thought of the day anyway now I'm going to turn this one

[00:25:14] to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments

[00:25:19] below and just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories you'll

[00:25:23] love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and

[00:25:28] hopefully I'll see you the cheeky so and so in the next one take care and much love

[00:26:28] you